Finding Me
By: Jeremy Michaels
(© 2021 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

 

Chapter 9

Marc 

“Dennis call 911,” I shout as I rush in from the kitchen and find Eric sprawled out on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Don’t move him,” Paul says and pulls me back from Eric.

“The ambulance is on the way,” Dennis says and kneels down beside me.

“It’s all my fault, I never should have spoken to him as I did.” 

I start to cry and all that I can see in my mind is my world without Eric in it. “I don’t know what I will do if he dies because he’s my world.”

The sound of the ambulance arriving gives me hope and I rush to the security panel and punch in the code that will open the gates. The front door is open and the paramedics come rushing in. They quickly assess Eric’s condition, they place a neck brace and strap him to a back board before lifting him onto the gurney. While they take his vitals and administer an IV, I’m giving a statement to the police officer that arrives just after the paramedics.

“All that I know is that we heard him scream and when we came out of the kitchen we found him laying at the bottom of the stairs,” I tell him and Dennis and Paul agree.

“This seems to be a recurring theme here, what with people falling down this staircase,” he says rather sharply.

“Hey Jim, come up here and take a look at this,” a second officer says and the one that I’m talking to goes upstairs and speaks quietly with his partner. They converse in whispers, each casting a look my way and then they both come back down.

“Are you aware that the carpet is lifted just before you descend the stairs,” the officer known as Jim asks.

“I wasn’t aware of it, were either of you,” I ask turning to Dennis and Paul.

“It seems rather suspicious and weren’t you involved in the death of Andre Müller,” he asks me. 

“I fell down the stairs with him, yes,” I tell him. “But as for today’s accident I wasn’t present when my boyfriend fell. I was with these two guys,” I say and point to Dennis and Paul.

“He’s telling the truth officer. My brother and I were trying to calm him because …” and Dennis stops talking.

“Because why young man?” He asks.

“Because Eric and I had a disagreement and it escalated into a verbal fight,” I tell him just as sharply.

“We need to transport him, because we’re loosing him,” a paramedic says and my heart is racing with fear. 

“Jim, I think that you need to see this,” Jim’s partner says and shows him Marc’s rap sheet that he pulls up on his laptop.

“Don’t either of you leave town,” he says to Dennis and Paul. “I’m taking you down to the station for further questioning,” he directs at me.

“Why are you taking me in, I haven’t done anything wrong,” I adamantly state.

“We’ll be the judge of that. Marc Vanderbilt, you’re under arrest for attempted murder of Eric Müller. You have the right to remain silent, anything that you say can and will be used against you,” he continues on reading me my rights but I hear nothing because my mind is paralyzed with terror that Eric may be dying or dead. 

He places handcuffs on me and leads me outside and to their cruiser where I am placed in the backseat. “Dennis get ahold of Michael and tell him what’s happened,” I call out to Dennis before the door closes.

Eric  

“Where am I and why do I feel so strange,” I ask myself as I move, no I’m floating in some kind of black nothingness.

 I can see my body, my arms and legs but my legs aren’t moving, but I’m moving nonetheless. Up ahead I can see a light and it seems to be towards where I’m moving. I can’t be, oh God no, please don’t let me be dead I’m thinking. I feel nothing, no pain, no wind as I move and I should be feeling at least a wind or a breeze because of the speed that I am moving. Just as suddenly as I am in this darkness, I’m now surrounded by light. I look around me and I see nothing.

“Hello! Can anyone hear me,” I call out, “but my mouth isn’t moving, so why can I hear my voice?”

“Hello Thaddeus,” I hear and suddenly Andre is standing before me and he’s beautiful. He’s all dressed in a white, a robe it appears to be and he smiling at me. Now I know that I am dead because Andre IS DEAD. 

“You’re not dead Thaddeus, you are merely in a suspended state of unconsciousness. Your time is not for many, many years into the future.”

“Then why am I here and where exactly is here?”

“As I said, you’re neither dead nor alive, but in that state that exists in between the two states of being and soon you’ll be drawn back among the living.”

“Andre, then where are you now?”

“I’m in a much better place, I’m happy and I’m with my parents and family. I do miss you though, Thaddeus and I want you to know that I loved you so much when I was alive and I still do. I want you to be happy and forgive your young man because he’s trying so very hard to be the man that he feels you need and deserve. I also want you to know that I’m extremely sorry for the unhappiness and pain that I caused you when I was alive. I didn’t deserve you Thaddeus and I cannot express how deep my love was and is for you.” Andre pauses as if he’s listening to something or someone. “I’m afraid that it’s time for you to return to your world my love. Just remember my love for you and be happy,” he says and I’m being pulled rapidly through space and then I’m gasping in a deep breath of air, but my eyes are closed and I can’t open them.

“We have a heart beat and his blood pressure is rising,” some woman says.

“It was touch and go there but he’s back,” a man says.

“Hello, I’m laying right here and I can hear you,” I’m saying.

“I’m finished with the sutures, doctor,” another man says and I realize that I’m in that cursed comatose state again where I can feel and hear but I can’t respond. 

“We’ve lost him again,” someone says and I’m suddenly being pulled away again and I find myself hovering over Marc.

Marc  

“Tell me again about this fight between you and Eric Müller,” Detective David Bronson says to me.

“I’ve already told you it wasn’t an actual fight, but a disagreement over something personal.”

“What kind of personal are we talking about?”

“Fine, we had a disagreement over sex.”

“So you and Eric are homosexual partners?”

“Not the way that you say it, like it’s something ugly or dirty. Eric and I are very much in love and have been together for months. He’s my world and there’s no way that I could or would ever hurt him.”

“Then please explain to me how the carpet was pulled up just before the top of the stairs.”

“How the fuck do I know how it came up,” I yell and if my hands were free to use I would have punched him.”

“That’s enough questions detective,” a man in a very expensive suit says as he enters the interrogation room. “I’m Attorney Buford Clark and I’m Mr. Vanderbilt’s attorney.”

“He’s all yours but he’s not going anywhere,” the detective says and leaves me alone with my lawyer.

“You’re my lawyer, “ I ask and notice his expensive suit. “ I can’t afford you.”

“Don’t y’all worry about my fees, they’ve been taken care of,” he tells me.

“Now tell me from the beginning exactly what happened and what you remember,” my attorney says as he pulls out a pen and pad. “I’m very aware of the fact that both you and Eric Müller are gay and a couple. I’m also gay so there’s no need to feel embarrassed by the facts,” he adds smiling.

“Are you sure that you are even old enough to be a lawyer, because you don’t look a day over twenty,” I point out.

“My age has nothing to do with my credibility to represent you,” he firmly states. “I’m twenty eight, a graduate of Harvard Law School and quite experienced in my profession.”

I rake my eyes over him and he’s extremely handsome. He has wavy auburn brown hair and green, emerald green eyes, high cheekbones, straight aristocratic nose and lips that just beg to be kissed. I spend the next half hour explaining everything to him, starting with the night before and ending with my arrest. I also tell him about my accidental fall with Andre and end with the fact that I also have previous incidents that got me arrested.

“I see that the case that the police are trying to build against you is based on circumstantial evidence and your past criminal behavior.”

“I’m not a fucking criminal, those past incidents were in self defense. I’m in love with Eric and we recently got engaged,” I point out.

“Aren’t you rather young to be engaged, much less thinking of being monogamous?”

“Then let me ask you something, are you with anyone?”

“My personal life is really none of your business. But in all fairness to you, yes, I do have a significant other.”

“Wow, a significant other, that sounds rather cold and impersonal. My relationship with Eric is based on love and trust and I would never refer to him as my significant other, but as my future husband.”

“Well Darren and I are having … we’re not here to discuss our relationships, Mr. Vanderbilt, but to ascertain your innocence. Now if there’s no further questions, we are done for now,” he says as he packs up his things and stands. “I will be seeing you tomorrow at your arraignment, unless I can get your case dismissed.”

He knocks on the door and it opens immediately, he nods to me and then he’s gone.

“Damn that guy has a fine ass,” I mutter.

Eric  

When I finally open my eyes I can see that I’m in a very private and well furnished hospital room. I can see Dennis and Paul sitting together on a sofa, talking.

“I really don’t know how he’s going to beat this one because that cop was hell bent on hanging his ass,” Dennis says softly to Paul.

“I just wish that we never went into that room, because all this stuff wouldn’t have happened,” Paul says.

“What the fuck are you two ranting about?” I ask and they both hurry over to me.

“You’re awake finally,” Paul says as tears roll down his face.

“How long have I been out,” I ask and then notice that Marc isn’t here. “Where’s Marc,” I ask and they both look at each other and it’s Dennis, who finally speaks.

“He’s being arraigned later today,” Dennis tells me.

“What the fuck did he do now,” I snap and then I remember what I saw while I was out.

“The day of my accident he was arrested for attempted murder,” I say so quietly.

“What!” Dennis yells out.” “Who the fuck told you already?”

Again, Dennis and Paul look quickly at each other before turning their attention back to me.

“It doesn’t matter who told me but what does matter is how am I going to help him. He may have been a bully at one time but he loves me and he would never intentionally hurt me. Now get me my clothes,” I order them and Paul hurries over to the closet.

“I really don’t think that you should be going anywhere,” Dennis points out.

I remove my johnny and IV from my arm and I’m getting dressed when a very good looking young man knocks and then enters my room. He catches me with my jeans around my knees and my junk all exposed.

“I’m sorry Mr. Müller, but I was under the impression that you were comatose,” he says and his eyes are focused on me, or more specifically, my cock.

He quickly turns around but he’s facing a mirror and his eyes are still watching me dress.

“You might as well turn around instead of watching me through the mirror,” I tell him as I stuff my cock and balls into my jeans. “Besides, it’s quite evident that you’re gay,” I add causing him to blush.

“Yes I am and again I’m sorry for intruding on you. I’m Attorney Buford Clark and I’m representing your partner, Marc Vanderbilt.” He says and I detect a slight southern accent.

“I know who you are sir. This is ludicrous, Marc never tried to kill me. That man may be many things, but a murderer he’s not. Now where are my shoes and socks, where the fuck is my shirt,” I ask looking around the room for them.

“You weren’t wearing them when they brought you to the hospital, Eric.” Dennis tells me. “All that you had on where your jeans,” Paul adds.

Just when things can’t get anymore hectic, a nurse and doctor enters the room.

“Mr. Müller, you mustn’t be out of bed,” my doctor says and tries to get me back into bed.

“Listen doc, I have nothing broken other than my arm which was already broken before I fell down the stairs. So other than a slight headache, which was brought on from all the commotion, I’m going home,” I tell him.

“You had a severe head trauma that resulted in you being unconscious for the last two days. I really think that you should be back in bed and let us keep you for a couple more days for observation.”

The drop dead gorgeous lawyer slowly eases his way towards the door and I  can tell that he’s ready to leave.

“Not so fast mister, I’m not through with you,” I tell him and he instantly takes a seat beside Dennis and Paul. 

“Now you sir, get me the necessary forms to sign so that I can leave here.”

“Ah Eric, Paul and I really need to go, Michael is downstairs waiting for us,” Dennis tells me and we say our goodbyes and it’s only after they’ve gone that I realize that I haven’t a ride home.

I turn my full attention to the doctor and say, “I understand your concern but I’m not staying. Would you please go get me those forms,” I politely ask.

“Very well but please note that its against my better judgment.” He turns and leaves.

“Now you stud muffin, let’s start at the beginning and explain to me what’s going on.”

“Are y’all sure that leaving is the right thing to do?”

“I’m sure and just where are you from with that accent?” 

“I was born and raised in Montgomery, Alabama sir,” he says and my heart feels like it’s about to stop. “When I graduated from Harvard I was offered a position with a very prestigious law firm in Boston so took it. Now can we get back to Mr. Vanderbilt’s case?”

“Of course, but can we discuss this on the drive to my house. As you can see, I have no ride and I’m half naked. You don’t mind do you?”

“Of course not Mr. Müller. Although, I do need to be in court in less than two hours. Mr. Vanderbilt is being arraigned this morning at eleven and it’s close to nine now.”

“Why does he still need to go to court when I’m fine?”

“Formality and legality, he still needs a judge to legally dismiss the case.”

I sign the forms, again my doctor tries to get me to stay, but I’m finally on my way home and worried about Marc. I get quickly dressed in my Armani suit and when I get back down stairs, Marc’s attorney’s eyes just about pop out of his head.

“Damn but y’all clean up fabulously,” he says, raking his eyes up and down my body and fixating on my crotch.”

“Thank you,’ I tell him returning the body scan.

Another time and place I might, no I definitely would consider a go around with him.

We make it to court just as Marc is being lead into the courtroom wearing a bright orange jumpsuit. His lawyer has just taken his seat when they remove Marc’s handcuffs and let him sit down. He doesn’t know that I’m sitting in the back of the courtroom and I’m glad.

“In the case of the state of Massachusetts verses Marc Vanderbilt how do you plead,” the judge asks and Marc’s attorney stands up.

“My client pleads not guilty,” he says. “Your honor, may I approach the bench,” he further asks and the judge grants permission.

I can’t hear what’s being said between Marc’s lawyer, the prosecutor and the judge, but head turns and look in my direction.

“Very well, I’ll listen to your witnesses testimony,” the judge says and Attorney Clark calls out my name. 

“ I call to the stand Mr. Eric Müller,” he says and Marc’s head spins around so fast that I’m afraid that he’s going to snap his neck.

I get up and confidently walk up to the front of the courtroom and pause when I get beside Marc.

“I told you that I would always have your back,” I whisper loud enough for only him to hear me.

His eyes are wet with tears when our eyes meet. I can see the shame and guilt in them as tries to give me his smirk, but fails. My heart is breaking just looking at him so broken as I swear to tell the truth and take my seat. I answer every question truthfully and when asked by the prosecutor as to why the carpet was damaged, I smile that smirk that Marc always gives me.

“I’m the one that tore up the carpet. I wanted to see if there was hardwood flooring beneath it and hastily stapled it down when I was finished. I did a rather hasty job and never gave it another thought afterwards.” I can see his sails deflating as I continue “As I was running down the hall that morning I made sure to watch out for where I had torn up the carpet. What I wasn’t watching for that first step and I missed it completely. The rest is history as the saying goes,” I say glancing at Marc.

 “I have no further questions your honor,” the prosecutor says and I’m dismissed.

I take a seat directly behind Marc and we watch as his lawyer and the prosecutor confer with the judge. After several minutes, they return the their seats and the judge clears his throat before he speaks.”

“Mr. Vanderbilt, after listening to the testimony given today in my court I hereby dismiss your case. You are free to go,” he says slamming down his gavel.

My heart is so swollen with love for Marc, that when Marc turns around, his and my eyes are brimming with tears. We both stand and he leaps over the railing separating us and takes me into his arms. With everyone watching us he proceeds to give me the hottest kiss that I have ever received. 

“I must say that orange does not flatter you darling. I brought you a change of clothes to wear instead of this jumpsuit. Although I will say that if you had been put into prison wearing that jumpsuit every inmate in there would want a piece of your ass because damn that suit makes your ass look good.” I tell him and bam, there’s his signature smirk. My bad boy has his game on again.

“I hate to differ with you angel, but I make this jumpsuit look absolfuckinglutly good.”

With our arms linked together we walk triumphantly from the courtroom.

“Eric are you alright,” is the first question that he asks me once we’re outside the courtroom .“I have been so worried about you ever since they arrested me.”

“I’m fine and now that I’m back where I belong in your arms I’m better than fine. I’m absolutely fantastic, my handsome bad boy,” I tell him and convince him with a kiss.

“Mr. Müller, may I have a moment of your time, please,” Buford asks.

“Of course, what can I do for you?”

“I’be been wondering if y’all have a regular attorney on retainer. If y’all don’t I would be very interested in being such counsel,” he says.

“I tell you what I’m going to do Bo, if I may, Marc and I are going to the best restaurant in Boston to celebrate. How about you join us and we can discuss this matter and something else that I think you can help me with.”

“I’m all yours as long as we can swing by my place first. I would like to change and let my sig … partner know where I’ll be.” He says giving Marc a smile and a wink.

We ride along with Bo to his condo and he invites us up to meet his partner. We take the elevator from the parking garage up to the nineteenth floor. After a short walk down a modestly appointed hallway, he punches in a series of numbers to open the door. We enter the foyer just as someone is calling out that they are coming. I look at Bo and I can see the anger building in his eyes. I place my hand gently on his arm and together we enter a beautiful living room. There on the sofa is his partner fucking what looks like a very underage boy.

“Buford … what are you doing here at this hour,” a shocked, naked and very handsome man asks. 

“I’m going to ask y’all that same question, but I can see what y’all are doing here. Joel, why aren’t y’all in school and why are y’all having sex with my boyfriend? Darren this is the last time that you’re going to cheat on me. I want y’all out of here by the time I get back from dinner. Oh yes you little tart, I’ll be having a word with your parents later,” Bo says to the boy and his already white face goes even whiter. “What are y’all, fourteen,” he asks.

“I’m sixteen and it’s quite legal in this state to consent to sex,” he unwisely states with his head up and his chin out.

“Yes y’all are of the age to legally consent, among your own age group and Darren here is thirty one. That makes him a pedophile and he can go to prison.” Bo tells him smugly.

“I will make a deal with you, if you keep this between us and not my parents I won’t call the police and have him arrested.”

“Why you little fucker, you’re the one that propositioned me,” Darren yells.

“That’s neither here nor there, Darren. Okay fine Joel, but if I even hear of y’all having sex with another man in our building I won’t give a fuck who y’all have arrested. Now I want y’all gone.”

Darren gets up and parades around the room, flaunting himself is if shopping for a new man.

“Sweetheart, that color does nothing for you. Although, I will say that it accents your hot ass beautifully,” he says and grabs Marc by the ass.

Marc looks at me and I merely shrug my shoulders and he flips Darren over his shoulder, landing him flat on his back.

“Wrong guy, I’m to old for you,” he says and grabs the suit I’m holding and marches off to the bathroom.

“If I were you I’d get dressed, because I’m nothing like my attorney. I will call the authorities and let the chips fall where they will,” I tell them as I pull out my cellphone.

They are gone in a flash and Joel is back within five minutes giving me the evil eye. 

“Before you leave kid, take a look at this,” he comes over and I show him the pictures that Marc had taken when we first entered the condo.

The pictures showed Darren on top of Joel and by the looks on his face, Joel was a willing participant.

“Now I would suggest that you rethink your options and remember that you have nothing that you can use to against me to stop me from sending these pictures to the police. Now get your fucking ass out of here before I decide to send them,” I tell him and he can’t get out of the place fast enough.

“Thank you Mr.Müller, that was mighty kind of y’all.”

“First off, I’m Eric and this handsome stud is Marc,” I tell him as Marc comes strolling down the hallway like a runway model, carrying his suit coat over his shoulder. 

“Hot damn that boy is powerfully built and hot,” Bo says and I notice that he’s getting an erection. 

“He’s all man and one hell of a fuck in bed,” I whisper in his ear.

 *******

An hour later we are sitting in Smith & Wollensky steakhouse on Atlantic Wharf in Boston. We are escorted to a private dining room, where we can talk and not be overheard. Our waiter offers us the wine list and I ask Bo if he would choose the wine. 

“Tonight the celebration is on me and money is not a problem,” I tell everyone.

“Wow, aren’t y’all the rich guy,” Bo says smiling.

“You have no idea how rich I am.”

We enjoy a delightful meal and after we sit back to enjoy our dessert and conversation.

“Bo, can you tell me something about your background, like your family life,”

I ask.

“We’ll let me see, I was born and raised in the south, but y’all might have guessed that by my accent. I tried for years to erase that southern country boy twang when I talk. But try as I may, I could never completely erase it all.”

“I find your accent quite sexy,” I tell him and he blushes. “What about your family, do you have any brothers or sisters?’

“Not what y’all would call blood brothers, because I was an only child. My aunt and uncle raised me after my parents were killed by a tornado that swept through our town and leveled over sixty percent of it. The only reason I was spared was because I was helping my Uncle Beau on his farm. I don’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t been for my Uncle Beau and my Aunt Thelma.

His words are going straight to my heart because here’s a man that knows my birth parents. Marc nonchalantly gives my foot a nudge and I know that he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

“Would you mind telling me about your aunt and uncle,” I ask.

“I think that y’all would like them, Eric. As I said, they took me in when I was thirteen and they have been like parents to me. They already had a son, JJ, but his proper name is Jeremiah James and he was a twin.”

“Was?” I ask.

“That’s a sad tale, his twin was kidnapped right from the hospital when he was only a day old. My aunt and uncle have never given up hope of seeing their boy again. In fact, my cousin JJ says that he’s still alive because he’s felt his pain through the years,” Bo says.

“What do you mean, he’s felt his pain,” again Marc nudges my foot and I give him a quick nod.

“Well he would say strange things out of the blue. Things like, my twin must have gotten his ass into trouble because he’s a hurting. But what got us all was about two and a half years ago when JJ starts screaming as if someone is killing him. He’s on the floor with his hands and arms over his face and he’s crying like a two year old. My aunt and uncle were going crazy trying to calm him down and find out what was happening. But it wasn’t until he yells out that someone is trying to kill BJ that my aunt, well she done wrapped her arms around JJ and she set herself to praying. She rocked my cousin on her lap and recited about every psalm and scripture that she knew for protection. My uncle, well he never cottoned to that twin bonding thing, but when he saw his boy whaling like someone was beating the tar out of him, he done dropped to his knees and prayed right along with the rest of us. Then as quickly as JJ started fussing, he stops. He looks up at us all and said that our prayers have been answered and that BJ made it through his trial. But for the next two or so years he would update us anytime he felt his twin’s presence.”

I’m crying so hard now that I can’t breathe, my sobs are so strong.

“I’m sorry Eric, I didn’t mean to upset y’all,” Bo says.

“Tell him angel, he has a right to know,” Marc says as he holds me to him.

I’m a about to tell him who I am when his cellphone rings.

“I’m sorry but I really need to take this. It’s JJ and something must be wrong. Hey JJ what’s up?” He asks and patiently listens as my brother tells him why he’s calling. “That’s crazy bro, I’m with a couple of clients, not your brother,” he says looking over at me. “He wants to talk to y’all, Eric,” he says and hands me his phone. 

“Hey JJ, it’s BJ,” I say and break into tears again. 

“I knew that y’all were there with Bo because I can feel your pain and joy, JJ. Now it’s time to come home, mama and papa are waiting for y’all and so am I.” I can’t talk any longer because I’m overwhelmed by my emotions. I nod at Marc and he passes the envelope that I had in my coat pocket across the table to Bo.

“I’ll call y’all back,JJ,” he says and closes his phone. “What’s this,” he asks has he opens the envelope and pulls out the folded certificates.  

Posted: 10/22/2021