December 21, 1978

 

Jake sat on his bed staring out his window at Dan’s window. It had become almost a ritual and whether it was daylight or the dark of night, it was the one thing that seemed normal and regular in his life. Dan’s curtains were drawn. Jake hated that they were because even when Dan’s window had been closed, the curtains had always been open. It only added to the emptiness Jake was feeling and the fact that Dan was no longer there. He missed Dan so badly it was tearing him apart.

 

For Jake, it seemed that life had stopped. Following the day of the wave, he did not leave his bedroom other than to use the bathroom and he also had not left the house. Apart from one time to his mother, he had not spoken a word to anyone since that day either. The feelings were too deep and so heavy and every moment seemed like a well of darkness without gravity. Nothing mattered, nothing was important and even ignoring someone who spoke to him, no longer seemed of consequence. His world had come to a standstill and he wanted to stop as well.

 

The end of year holidays from school, for Jake seemed like nothing less than a blessing. He was glad he did not have to go back until the following year because he knew if he had to return right now, he simply could not do it. Emptiness was all he could feel and see and everything seemed unworthy or incapable of filling the space.

 

Filled with resentment, Jake could not cope with the fact his friend had been taken from him. His heart was aching during every waking moment and when he finally did go to sleep, his dreams of Dan naked in his arms on a beach had now ceased completely. Those dreams had been replaced by another dream; Dan’s voice calling to him urgently but Jake could never find him or see him. He would awaken lathered in sweat and gasping for breath.

 

In general over the period of a day, Jake was incapable of focusing on anything other than Dan’s absence. The one good thing was that for the most part, his parents were leaving him alone. He figured on some level they understood and thought it best not to bother him.

 

If there was anything that bothered him, outside of the loss of Dan, it was his mother who was hard to deal with. She was so worried about him but he just could not go back to being who he was. He felt like he had been cleaved in two and one half of him was missing. It was hard enough to deal with what he was experiencing, without having to worry about what his mother was feeling.

 

Every once in a while his dad would come in on the quiet. He would not say a word and he would just pull Jake into his arms and hold him tightly for five to ten minutes. His father would then kiss his head, tell him he loved him and then leave the room, as silently as he had entered. It meant a great deal to Jake because he felt no pressure to perform or to be what he did not want to be at the time. He wanted to be left alone with his thoughts and he wanted to hang on to his memories of Dan, the ones that were not a violent vision.

 

In the warmer months Jake only wore briefs to bed. On this random Thursday, he had awoken before sunrise and immediately sat up and stared at Dan’s window. The early hours of the morning had been unexpectedly cold and now, after sitting for over an hour just staring at Dan’s window, the surface of his body was cold and Jake was shivering. He was not even aware of the cold or of his body’s reaction to it because all he could think about was the absence of Dan.

 

The vision of that day kept running through his head. The wave had just gotten bigger and bigger until it was about five metres high. He had heard people around him gasping and then screaming, as they realised it was going to swamp the beach. Jake had remembered a story about three huge waves hitting Bondi beach back in nineteen thirty-eight. Five people had died, other people were seriously hurt and hundreds were washed out to sea by the backwash. It was known as Black Sunday. It may or may not have been the same type of event but during those horrific moments, he realised what was about to happen and all he had been able to think about or care about was Dan.

 

Every time the vision replayed in his mind, he could see Dan’s face as if it were a close-up. The fear in Dan’s eyes ripped at Jake’s heart and then he could hear Dan calling to him to go back but he simply could not turn away. He knew there was nothing he could do but every beat of his heart told him he had to get to Dan. When he saw Dan’s body hit the ground and vanish beneath all the water, he had thought that he would never see his friend again and he had just stopped, frozen to the spot and unable to move.

 

It was only a second later, even though it had seemed like an eternity, when he realised the deluge of crashed water was soon to swallow him as well. His only thought was that he would be with Dan if he allowed it to consume him. If he did not fight it, it would drown him and he and Dan could remain together. Seconds before it hit him, Jake saw Dan’s lifeless body appear directly in front of him. He had washed to the front of the wave and was coming straight toward Jake.

 

Dan’s body was only metres away but instinctively, Jake lifted his arms and allowed Dan to come into them and he locked them around him, even though his body hit him with the force of a moving car. He remembered telling himself to never let him go, even as he was being washed up the beach, rolling and spinning beneath the deluge. Moments later he hit something, which he now guessed was the wall of the promenade.

 

There was one memory, a moment of vague consciousness of some unknown man trying to steal Dan away from him. He tried so hard to stop his arms being unlocked but his strength was gone and then everything went dark. Nothing was clear and nothing made sense and it was the last thing he remembered until he awoke in hospital hours later. He had not seen Dan since the wave and now, as that thought crossed his mind once more, his eyes filled with tears and they streamed down his face. The only thing he had been told when he awoke, apart from the fact that he would be okay, was that he was found still holding Dan in his arms. He wanted to ask more questions about Dan but he was so tired, unconsciousness took him again.

 

Maggie Edwards rose from bed. She had not slept well and it was becoming consistent since the change in her son. Even so, she was still an attractive woman after only a few hours sleep. Her thick and long hair, which currently resembled some sort of nasty birds nest, was a bottled, silver-blonde. She had been a natural blonde but as she aged it started to go dark. Her eyes were a light bluish-green and she believed that the genetic combination with her husbands blue eyes, were what had given Jake a set of such incredible, sea green irises.

 

Though it could not be seen beneath the full-length nightgown, which she had changed into in the early hours of the morning due to the unusual cold, Maggie also had a great body. She was now in her early forties but she was determined to look after herself and was determined to see to it that she always looked her best for her age.

 

Yawning heavily, as she walked toward the bedroom door, she turned and looked back at her husband, Brad. As usual, he had not stirred from her movement and could, she believed, sleep through a nuclear explosion. She left the bedroom, closing the door behind her and as she approached the bathroom, she noticed her son’s bedroom door was open. He had started keeping it closed and so this was unusual.

 

Walking to it, she stopped and looked in and saw the state that Jake was in. Her eyes filled with a mother’s heartbreak, as she looked at the devastation of her son. This had been going on for over a month. She knew he was suffering from severe trauma and she had hoped it would subside or at least be assuaged by some degree of acceptance but it appeared that Jake could not let it go. She desperately wanted to know what was going on in his mind but he had not spoken a word in four weeks.

 

Needing guidance, she had gone to the local doctor. He explained what was happening and said all people reacted differently to the trauma of disaster type events. He told her to let Jake go through it, to let him feel it but that he also needed to talk about it so he did not keep it bottled up. The doctor also said she should do whatever needed to be done, to lift Jake out of the situation he was in, even if it required professional help.

 

Maggie did not believe that was necessary and when she discussed it with Brad, he agreed with her and told her they should give their son some more time. Maggie had talked to Jake a couple of days after it happened but once he had told her the full story of the wave and what happened to Dan, he had broken down and asked her to leave him alone. She tried to tell him that the day was over and that things would get better and return to normal but he just turned his back on her and buried his face in a pillow. It was from that day following his recollections of the exact events, he stopped speaking altogether.

 

Walking into Jake’s bedroom, she noticed his extreme shivering and she lifted his bed covers and wrapped them around his body. He did not move or speak but simply continued to stare at Dan’s window. She said good morning and told him she loved him but still there was no response. She asked him what good looking at a window would do but he did not even blink and it was like she was not even there.

 

“I don’t know what to do for you, Jake. You’re my son, I love you and you’re scaring me,” she said finally with frustration.

 

Suddenly, Jake’s head turned and looked at her, his eye swollen and wet with tears.

 

“Make them let me see him. I need to see him and be with him. I don’t understand why they won’t let me sit beside him? He’s my friend! I know he’s in a coma and that everyone thinks he’ll never recover but you have to make his parents let me see him,” he begged with desperation in his voice.

 

Maggie looked at Jake and she finally felt she had an answer. Whether it was the right or the wrong answer, she really had no idea but she thought something was better than nothing. She decided instantly that she would go and speak to Carol and David. She did not really understand why they did not want people to visit their son but she had just assumed it was about grief and the belief that the machine would eventually have to be turned off. Maybe they wanted people to remember Dan the way he had always been; a handsome, happy and lively boy. If Dan was going to die then perhaps they wanted their final time with him alone.

 

It seemed understandable that Carol and David were in a very bad way after what had happened to Dan. Maggie could not even imagine what they must be going through. The thought of something like that happening to Jake made her feel sick to the stomach. It did not help that the doctors had told Carol and David there was little hope and so she also understood why they were not confident that Dan would ever recover or even wake up. She also thought that they were reasonable people and that if she explained the situation, perhaps they would bend somewhat and allow Jake the permission to visit Dan.

 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Maggie said, as she looked into her son’s eyes and desperately wanted to relieve his pain.

 

“Not just once, Mum. I need to see him and sit with him and talk to him. There are things he needs to know. I know that people don’t believe he’s going to wake up but Mum, I know that I can bring him back.”

 

Maggie looked at Jake in shock. It was not because he had finally spoken or of what he had said but it was because of the way he said it. There was so much certainty in his voice and for some reason she believed that maybe he could.

 

“I can’t make promises Jake but as I said, I’ll see what I can do,” she assured, as she stroked her fingers through his hair.

 

A barely visible smile crept onto Jake’s face but it was enough for a mother’s eyes to see. It gave her some hope that Jake’s torment could be diminished and that was more than enough reason for her to make a concerted effort. She stroked the back of her fingers down along Jake’s cheek, as she looked at him hopefully. The reply she received, though, were eyes filled with tears and pain. It was all too obvious how deeply embedded the pain was within his tortured soul. She wrapped her arm around his head, pulled it in a nurturing fashion against her breast and as she embraced him with the other arm, she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He did not try to pull away but simply sobbed and she knew with certainty, exactly what she had to do.

 

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