November 18, 1978

 

Two days after Dan’s fifteenth birthday, it was approaching the end of spring and it was a seemingly random Saturday. Jake felt so warm and comfortable. His skin seemed to be tingling, as he felt Dan’s skin sliding so sensually over his naked body. Jake’s dick was so hard that he wondered if the skin would split apart, as Dan’s dick rubbed against it and made him feel like he was going out of his mind. Jake said, “Kiss me, Dan” but just as those perfect lips were about to touch, another voice called to Jake, as if through a long, dark tunnel.

 

“Jake!”

 

Dan’s voice called loudly but Jake wondered why it seemed so distant, when Dan was naked in his arms and they were on a deserted, tropical beach in the equatorial pacific.

 

“Jake,” the call came again.

 

Bleary-eyed, Jake turned his head. As his eyelids drew back and his focus became clear, he realised he had been asleep and once again in the middle of his usual dream. It was always the same dream and always on some random tropical beach. It had been two years ago, on that cold, winter’s afternoon in Dan’s bed, when Jake had the dream for the first time. Since then, Jake had the dream relentlessly, several times a week. Jake’s mind adjusted to the fact that he actually was on a beach in reality and then a moment later, he realised Dan was propped above him and looking down at him with a grin of high amusement.

 

“Sorry, I must have fallen asleep,” Jake said.

 

Sarcastically, Dan said, “No shit!”

 

With absolutely no malice and with a cute grin attached, Jake replied, “Fuck off, Dan.”

 

For a few moments the young men stared at each other. Each respective gaze was intense and each set of eyes adored the other, as secrets screamed in silence. All the while, though, as it had been for so many years, both sets of eyes contained a sad distance, as if light years were keeping them apart.

 

Crushing the fullness of the silence, Dan released a smile while his eyes filled with lustful desire and he said, “I wish I could’ve been with you in the dream you were having.”

 

As his irrational fear became concerned that Dan could somehow know they had been naked together in his dream, Jake looked guiltily and asked, “What? How did you know I was dreaming?”

 

“The massive boner you’ve got in your Speedo that’s pointing at me” Dan said with a soft smile.

 

Jake became aware of his hardness instantly and his face became horrified. He reached for his t-shirt and as he sat up, he covered his crotch with the balled material while his brown face flushed bright red with embarrassment.

 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Jake, I liked looking at your big boner pressing against your light blue Speedo. Look Jake, it gave me a boner, too,” Dan said with a kind and hopeful smile that followed.

 

Jake’s eyes scanned down over Dan’s body. Over the last two years, both of their bodies had filled out measurably. Jake was now more thick set and he looked like he had become a strong, young man. He was much more muscular and had put on more weight, which had defined his body even more. Dan was much more shapely. With his broad shoulders and huge chest from all the swimming and running and his smaller waist and strong, muscular legs, he looked incredible. Jake could have simply dropped his eyes but he had made it a habit to always look at Dan from top to bottom when he was at the beach or the pool.

 

The visual journey over Dan’s naked skin caused Jake to clench the muscles in his hidden erection. It lunged and stretched the Speedo that gripped it, as his gaze continued down. To Jake it was a feast as his eyes ran over Dan’s chest and then down his smooth, flat stomach, before coming to rest on his black Speedo. A blatant bulge the same size as Jake’s, stretched the material like a perfectly gift wrapped present. It displayed a sizeable shaft and the perfect outline of a big, fleshy knob. He stared at it for extended moments.

 

A sense of satisfaction filled Dan’s body, as he watched Jake looking at his erection. A silent voice begged in his mind that Jake would reach out and touch it.

 

Inhaling deeply to maintain his courage and finally take things further, Dan said, “You give me a boner everyday, Jake.”

 

Jake’s eyes flicked up to look into Dan’s eyes and in shock he said, “What?”

 

Dan looked at him with a serious expression. He had been thinking about telling Jake ever since last summer but even when all the circumstances had made it seem like the perfect time, he still had been too afraid and unable to do it.

 

One Saturday afternoon he had suggested to Jake that they ask their parents if they could sleep in the tree house in Jake’s backyard again. It had been one of those stinking hot days and both of their parents had agreed. They lay on top of their sleeping bags next to each other on their backs. They were staring out the window up at the stars and were trying to locate the constellations but apart from the Southern Cross, they had no real knowledge and could not identify anything.

 

They were very quiet as they searched the night sky but then out of the blue, Dan had asked Jake if he liked getting a boner. It only took moments before they were talking about their dicks; how good it felt when they were hard and how they loved to touch them and rub them. Dan then told Jake he had an erection at that exact moment and shortly after, following asking Jake to reach over and feel how hard he was, they were holding each other’s dicks and stroking amidst whispered moans.

 

Something had finally happened. They had touched, jerked each other off and ejaculated in each other’s hands but even though soon after Dan had wanted to tell Jake he loved him, he simply could not find the strength to overcome his fear. It was never mentioned again and their relationship went back to being like that of normal friends.

 

All of a sudden, as he lay beside Jake on the beach, staring at him while he slept, Dan was overcome by desire and emotion and certainty filled with courage. It was not just the fact that he had seen Jake get an erection that he wanted to touch. It was also because Dan knew he had been in love with Jake for so long, even before he understood the feeling or what it meant to be in love.

 

He remembered a few years before, asking his mother one day about love and if she thought it was possible for kids to fall in love. She told him it was not and then said the sort of love he was talking about only happened for adults. Dan had walked away from her and thought she was wrong because he was certain he was in love with Jake.

 

Even more certain of it now, every cell of Dan’s body was screaming at him to say the words to Jake. Dan also knew it was not physical attraction alone. He loved Jake’s muscular, stocky body, his short, ash blonde hair and his beautiful, sea green eyes, however, he knew he had loved Jake long before he had looked like he did now. It was everything in combination but it was his personality and his nature and how much Jake cared about him, which tipped the scales for Dan to take a risk.

 

“Jake, what I said was that you give me a boner everyday. Jake, I get a boner almost every time I look at you or think about you,” Dan replied, his voice filled with a tone that mirrored the emotion in his eyes.

 

Jake’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open even farther but he said nothing, as he sat there in stunned silence.

 

“I’m in love with you, Jake,” Dan said, as his heart pounded from both hope and fear.

 

Dan stared at Jake for a few moments longer but as Jake’s silence began to destroy him and an assumed reality set in, Dan knew there was absolutely no turning back now. As a consequence of the silence, he suspected a negative response from Jake but that was something he could not bare to hear.

 

Jumping to his feet swiftly, Dan looked down at Jake, their eyes locking on each other’s momentarily. Dan’s eyes were filled with a love devastated and Jake’s were expressing nothing but shock and disbelief. With still no reaction on Jake’s part, Dan thought that he needed to wash the hard evidence away and submerge his sadness within the cold and heavy surf. He turned instantly and sprinted down the beach.

 

Jake watched Dan’s every step and movement of his fifteen-year-old body. His gleaming, black hair, his strong, broad shoulders, his surfer’s body and his athlete’s legs, as they moved away from him at an extreme pace. Jake thought as he always did that Dan was simply beautiful. It was not even summer yet and his tan was already rich and deep and made him look even more fit, healthy and vibrant. He watched Dan taking long strides, even as he entered the water. He watched Dan dive and disappear beneath the surface. The surf was large and Dan speared himself head first through each wave that approached his deepening position.

 

Jake remained seated on the beach, still in absolute shock. There was nothing he would have preferred for Dan to tell him. There was nothing that could have made him happier but even so, there was also nothing that would have stunned him more than Dan’s admission and that was exactly what had happened.

 

Staring in a daze, Jake watched Dan bodysurfing the very large swell that was rolling onto the shore. Jake was so stunned by what he had heard that he had not thought about Dan’s need for a response or the effect his silence must have had on Dan.

 

Slowly but surely the knowledge, the reasoning and the all-consuming feelings began to sink in. Jake felt as if his life had just been given meaning. He thought that all of his dreams had finally come true. It was still difficult to believe that one of the most popular boys from school was gay but even more so, that it was his best friend. It did not stop there, though, it just kept getting harder to believe because above and beyond everything, it seemed incomprehensible to Jake that Dan was in love with him, especially when he was in love with Dan.

 

Jake wondered why life would give him such a gift at only fifteen. He had thought he would have to wait for years before he would meet someone special and that it would be somewhere a million miles from home where no one he knew would ever find out the truth. Of course it had been Dan that he had always wanted that special someone to be and it had also been Dan he had wanted to tell his truth to, however, Dan had always been the one Jake had worried about telling the most.

 

The conclusion Jake had reached was that when he finally told Dan who he really was and how he really felt, Dan would hate him and probably punch his lights out. However, right there and then, Dan had indirectly said he was gay and clearly said he was in love with him. Jake’s face suddenly lit up so brightly, he looked like all the troubles of the world had just been solved. He watched as Dan once again caught another wave toward the shore.

 

Dan was berating himself angrily, regardless of what others may have thought of his appearance or of the enjoyable activity he was involved in. As he turned and began to swim, he thought, “How could I have been so stupid? Jake will probably hate me now. He’ll probably call me those names and tell me he never wants to see or speak to me again. He’ll probably tell his parents the moment he gets home and they’ll immediately tell mine. All hell is probably about to break loose and my life, as I’ve known it, is about to fall apart. When the year is over and if I decide to go back to school and get the high school certificate, Jake will tell the guys and then the whole school will know and I’ll be bashed and ridiculed. You’ve just fucked everything and your life is over.

 

Jake was still watching Dan happily, when he noticed a lifeguard who was about to pass his position, stop suddenly and look at the water studiously. Jake turned and looked at it too but it looked normal to him. He turned and glanced at the lifeguard again and the man had a very serious expression on his face. He did not move and he just kept staring at the ocean.

 

The lifeguards in Sydney were extremely well trained and very diligent in their jobs and so Jake assumed the man was watching some tourist who could not swim, so he could be ready to go and save yet another person caught in a rip. Jake shrugged inwardly and turned his attention back to Dan.

 

Deciding suddenly, Jake knew he had to tell Dan that he felt the same way about him. He wished that Dan was still sitting beside him and he wished he had not acted like such an idiot, sitting there looking at Dan with his mouth open like he was trying to catch flies. He had to tell him. Jake was still watching Dan, as he caught yet another wave and as the wave pushed him toward the shore, he saw Dan look in his direction and he was almost certain their eyes met.

 

Looking up the beach as he was surfing another really great wave, Dan saw Jake staring at him with a huge smile on his face. Jake pointed to his eye then to his heart and then at him, before holding up two fingers. Dan’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, as he realised what Jake had just told him. In that moment, he thought his life was perfect but all of a sudden, the wave he was on dissipated and he found himself in flat water.

 

Dan was one of those people that was confident in the water and who liked to swim right out into the deep and try to catch the larger waves as they were forming, with the hope of bodysurfing them all the way into the shore. He had thought it was very odd the way the wave he had been surfing just sank into the surrounding water but as his true desire now was to get back to Jake on the beach, he dismissed the odd occurrence indifferently. He could easily have kept swimming into the shore but instead, he decided on one last wave. He was still quite a long way from the shore after all.

 

Turning around toward the open sea, an expression of curiosity and uncertainty filled his face. The swell that had been there before was suddenly gone. No more waves were forming. He looked well beyond where they had been forming, as he wondered how everything could just change. He knew how when you looked toward the horizon, there was an optical illusion that made the water appear as if it were rising up, however, as Dan tried to focus more clearly, he realised there was indeed raised water coming toward the shore. It was not a cresting wave, just a mound of rolling water.

 

The wave was too far out to be a normal wave and it was too big to be just part of the standard tide. It was moving toward both him and the beach way too quickly. Dan wondered if it was a Tsunami but then he thought that even if it was just a small one, why was the water at the shore not being sucked out to sea. It was happening very quickly and so Dan did not associate the dissipation of the previous wave with his last thought.

 

Swiftly considering, Dan wondered if it was one of those freak waves that occasionally hit beaches unexpectedly. It had happened in Sydney before and so he saw no reason it could not happen again. Whatever it was, he felt his body fill with apprehension but it swiftly transformed into an unsettled fear. This was all wrong and he knew he needed to get back to Jake. He turned toward the beach and began to swim.

 

Jake was wondering whether Dan had seen his sign language and if he had, whether he had understood what he was trying to tell him. He thought it was obvious what he had said but Dan was a long way away from him and he did not know if Dan could even distinguish his movements, due to the distance that separated them. Jake decided it was of no consequence and that the moment Dan returned to his side, he would tell him he was crazy about him and that he was in love with him, too.

 

Right at that moment, Jake heard the lifeguard on his radio to the tower, warning them about a large and uncharacteristic wave. He was telling them to sound the alarm to get people out of the water and off the beach. It did not make a lot of sense to Jake because everything had seemed normal but as he now focused on the water, he saw there were no waves. He looked out even deeper to see exactly what the lifeguard was talking about and it was then that he saw the wave and he stood up horrified.

 

Now fifteen, Dan was an even better swimmer and so when he noticed he seemed to be barely moving forward, he realised something was very wrong. Like many people he had been caught and dragged out by a rip but this was different because it was not just a current going the wrong way; it was all of the water. He stopped swimming and felt his body moving backwards.

 

Looking over his shoulder, Dan saw the wave was already almost on top of him. He wondered if he should swim toward shore or if he should swim through the wave and remain behind it. He instantly thought that the backwash afterwards might push him out to sea and he did not like the thought of being too far from land. With a swift decision he focused every ounce of strength he had into his arms and legs. He swam hard and kicked hard and then just as suddenly, the water’s direction changed again and he started moving forward.

 

A moment later, Dan heard the scream of the shark alarm. He knew there was no shark and it was being sounded because of the wave. Without even looking he could see people in his peripheral vision, all swimming and struggling and trying to get back to the beach. He now knew things were even worse and he felt his adrenalin shoot throughout his body.

 

Within seconds he felt himself rising and he knew the wave had reached him and was beginning to consume him. He caught it easily like he did with any other wave but he noticed it was now even bigger. His head, arms and chest protruded from the front of the wave and the rest of his body was invisible, as it was being pushed along with an above average thrust.

 

The wave continued to grow and he felt his fear rising but then his mind turned to shear horror, as the wave increased in size too much. It started sucking him upward toward its newly forming crest, as it was becoming a wall and beginning to curl. He felt his legs rising behind him and in a split second they were higher than his head and his body was pointing diagonally toward the surface of the water.

 

“Fuck,” Dan bellowed and just for a moment he lifted his head to look toward the beach. Jake, who was already on his feet was running toward him with a terrified expression. At the same time, Dan saw hundreds of other people running away in the opposite direction.

 

“Jake, go back, get off the beach,” Dan screamed and then he thought that this was the end of his life.

 

His eyes looked back to what was happening to him and he watched as the water in front of the wave rushed toward it. It was being sucked into the wave until the shallows became nothing more than the sand that had been beneath uncovered. In that single moment Dan thought he was about to be speared head first into the seabed. Instead the wave grew higher from the volume it had drawn into it and at the same time, the wave lifted him higher and as it began to crash, his legs flew over his head and the next thing he knew he was falling in front of the wave and it was screaming down toward him.

 

Staring up at the wall of water after his body had somersaulted out of it, he watched as it slammed down on top of him. As it hit him it pushed him down and then he felt his body slam onto the sand onto his back. The jolt was heavy and hard and it hurt like nothing he had ever experienced while the air was punched out of his lungs. The force of the volume of water burying him and surrounding him was frightening, however, consciously trying to hold his breath when he had no air in his lungs was simply terrifying.

 

Things were already out of control and incomprehensible, when he felt the ocean lifting him back up and his world began swirling and spinning. He could see the blues and greens of the water intermixed with sand, as well as the white froth of churning and crashing water and all the while he was filled with pain and a serious lack of oxygen. A moment later, everything went silent and black.

 

Jake stood frozen and staring in disbelief, as his stomach became an empty hole, growing larger and deeper inside of him. Lost while knowing exactly where he was, he believed his world had just been torn apart, right in front of his eyes. His conscious mind yelled at him to turn and run for his life but another unexpected thought, could not bare the idea of leaving without Dan. He stood and waited and he watched the liquid mountain tumbling toward him, certain he was sure to die with Dan, as well.

 

***