Chapter 5 

Reformation.

 

Standing for a short time, Aaron had been staring at the rear wall inside of a cupboard. If he had been truly cognisant during that time, he would have noticed a glaring display of the human mind’s extraordinary abilities. His mind had dismissed the laws of temporal mechanics and in the space of five or more minutes, Aaron had virtually relived and managed to fit the visual memories of eighteen years of friendship, love and history, into those silent and unmoving moments, all condensed and yet in high definition and full, surround sound.

 

Aaron was feeling uncomfortable and uncertain. Even though in many ways he wanted to dig a deep, dark hole and then dive in and pull the earth down on top of him, he was actually mindless to the fact that he was more alive now, than he had been in the last four and a half years.

 

Completely unaware because his back was to the door, he had no idea Logan stood in the doorway, leaning comfortably against the doorframe while watching him. Aaron had eventually made a decision and was cooking them both a meal. His mind was racing because of the knowledge that Logan was in his home. Aaron generally considered his home a peaceful sanctuary but unexpectedly, though, Logan’s presence in the house was sending invisible shockwaves through that harmony and destroying the essence of the impervious fortress, where Aaron had unconsciously remained detached.

 

Despite his strong, masculine appearance, Aaron was essentially nervous and apprehensive. He knew for the time being he was going to have to wear a mask, figuratively speaking. He wondered if he could maintain his control, at least until he felt that Logan was once again a part of his regular life. He knew he should be honest with Logan but he could not get past the idea, which he had assumed years ago, that Logan would not accept his sexuality. If it had been anyone else, Aaron would not have cared but where Logan was concerned, it somehow seemed a different matter all together.

 

During the ten minutes with Logan in the living room and even following another ten to fifteen alone in the kitchen, Logan’s presence was all it had taken to shatter Aaron’s façade, which he now realised he had fallen into since Logan’s departure.

 

This existence had been his life but suddenly, today, Aaron could now see he had been cruising through his existence relatively untouched. Regardless of the fact that he worked, socialised, had sex and of course ate, slept and breathed, Aaron could now see he had become an oblivious bystander. He was a robotic attendant, an unconscious automaton. He sighed from the realisation that he had never really moved on.

 

The picture of the man who had knocked on his door around thirty minutes ago was enticing. It was a very short-term memory but it was hard to forget. Like him, Logan was also four years older and he had also matured. Now he was even hotter and more desirable than he had ever been before. In Aaron’s mind, Logan had become a picture of heaven.

 

Aaron also knew that he was not alone in his appraisal. Within minutes of being in the kitchen, Pointer was insistent in his communication that Aaron was to initiate sex with Logan. Pointer had figuratively spoken several times with a raging boner, which Aaron had successfully talked down. His mind was roiling between lust, anxiety, love and happiness.

 

Frustrated, Aaron put his hands on the bench top and leaned against it. Even though he knew he loved Logan, he still could not quite believe the power Logan had over him. Just looking at Logan could make him want him with such an overwhelming, innate need. It was hard to believe because it had been four plus years since he had seen Logan and two years since they had actually been in contact. Their extended time apart, only made it seem even more incomprehensible that he could feel this way.

 

Closing his eyes, Aaron breathed deeply, as he silently talked Pointer down once again. He was not just completely in love with Logan; he also had never been so attracted or so turned on by any other man in his life. Logan could always give him an erection with such ease. In these circumstances, though, it seemed odd that he kept getting hard considering how tense and unnerved he felt with Logan there. He told himself he had to pull it together and that he could not let Logan see how he made him feel or how easily he turned him on. He sighed again.

 

Thinking he was out and proud to everyone in his life, Aaron thought he had to be honest and he had to come out to Logan. The only person that did not know about him was the one person he wanted to know more than anyone. It was Logan. It made him feel guilty and made him think he was hiding from him but he was just so damned scared of losing Logan. He inhaled heavily, opened his eyes and again went back to what he was doing.

 

Aware of the sound of frustration within the deep, sighing breaths, it was obvious to Logan that Aaron was bothered about something. It made Logan want to go to him and give him some support. Logan wondered if he was being self-absorbed or arrogant but he could not get past the idea that those sighs were because of him. It seemed so egotistical to think his arrival and influence was getting to Aaron but still he wanted it to be true. He thought that if it were true, it made him love his friend even more.

 

The point of standing there and not saying a word had originally been about seeing the surprise and the look in Aaron’s eyes when he finally turned around. Unfortunately, Aaron had not turned around but now it mattered not. The sighs that were coming from Aaron’s mouth and also the huge breaths Aaron was taking, which were causing his large body to expand and contract with emphasis, only made Logan want to go to him.

 

Logan hoped that what he was about to do would make things better and maybe relax Aaron. He walked across the kitchen quietly, approaching from behind. He wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist and squeezed him, the front of his body pressed against the warm and muscular physique of the near-naked, male body. The body was large and strong and Logan felt good pressed against it. He also felt an immediate swell of emotion fill his heart. Logan began to smile but what he felt next, wiped the smile from his face.

 

“Damn it’s good to see you again, Ary,” he said as he embraced him, however, instantly he felt Aaron’s entire body clench and stiffen from the full-bodied touch. It surprised Logan but he did not react negatively and he simply released him and stepped back like nothing had happened.

 

“It’s good to see you, too,” Aaron replied with a subdued voice while not even attempting to turn around and look at him.

 

Logan had been extremely aware of the reaction. For a moment it hurt but then he thought that if Aaron cared about him in the way he was now beginning to believe that he once had, then it was probably a natural reaction. Logan knew that Aaron believed he was straight. If Aaron was gay and in love with him and at the same time hiding it from him, then having that person hugging him would probably be very uncomfortable. He stared at Aaron from behind and he felt for him, if it were true.

 

Stepping forward again, Logan stood beside Aaron, looking down at what he was actually doing. There were three pans on the cook tops, the largest with two sizable stakes frying in butter. In the medium pan were four sausages almost cooked and eight rashers of bacon, which had only recently been put into the pan. In the third and smallest pan were four eggs frying sunny-side-up, all individually surrounded by the rings that would keep them thick, unbroken and perfectly circular.

 

The kitchen smelled wonderful, as the meats and eggs merged with the freshly brewing coffee. It was a smell of home, a smell of the past and a smell he had not smelled in all the time he had been gone. In addition, Logan had not had someone do this for him since prior to going overseas. He knew it was for both of them but he also suspected that Aaron was only doing it for him. He turned and saw a plate with a tower of thick sliced and buttered, fresh, white bread. His stomach gurgled.

 

“Mate, that coffee smells good and looking at those meats and eggs is making my stomach rumble. There’s an earthquake happening inside my belly. It all looks and smells really delicious. You really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. When I said yes to food, I was expecting maybe a sandwich, not a spread like this.”

 

“Well, I remembered bacon and eggs were your favourite breakfast and even though it’s lunchtime, which is why the steak and sausages, I thought it’s been a while since you had good, Aussie tucker,” Aaron explained as he glanced at him and smiled.

 

“Ary, the last time I had a meal like this, your mum made it for us on a Saturday morning. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that I used to think about that morning while I was overseas. Well, at least at breakfast time,” Logan replied.

 

“Well Logan, I’m glad it makes you happy and I hope it’ll taste as good as it apparently looks and smells to you.”

 

“I have no doubt that it will,” Logan replied.

 

“Do you want to sit at the table or would you prefer to sit on the lounge in the living room with it on your lap?”

 

“This is your house Aaron and I’m just a guest, so whatever and wherever you want,” Logan replied.

 

Lifting his head with a jerk and looking at Logan; in a way Aaron felt offended that Logan could even think that what was his was not Logan’s as well. Aaron could barely comprehend the concept of them not being connected and sharing everything the way they always had. It may have been odd after Logan had vanished for so long but still Aaron felt the same way.

 

“Logan, are you going to move in or are you just staying for a few days?”

 

Ironically, Aaron could hardly believe he asked the question, considering the incongruous nature of how his feelings were swinging back and forth. However, instantly he knew it was what he wanted and he also could not fathom the idea of Logan going away again.

 

“I’d love to move in but I don’t want to impose or cause any problems and I honestly hadn’t even thought about it since you mentioned it at the front door,” Logan replied.

 

Maintaining a serious face to give nothing away, Aaron said, “Well then, the decision’s made. We’ll get you a bed and stuff later but for now, this is your new home. So, make a decision, you arsehole; where are we going to eat?”

 

Logan chuckled and then stared at Aaron’s profile, as his mate lifted the steaks out of the pan and placed them on two, large, white, dinner plates. As Aaron reached for the sausages Logan said, “the table” because he thought Aaron might prefer it that way. He reached out, put his hand on Aaron’s shoulder and squeezed it warmly. A moment later, Aaron glanced over at him.

 

“Ary, you’re amazing and thank you for this; hell, thank you for everything.”

 

“Well then, show your gratitude and shift your lazy arse and pour the coffees. I still take mine the same; what about you?”

 

“Queen’s coffee! Yeah, white with two sugars,” Logan said and then he began the task before him, smiling and feeling so happy to be back with Aaron while knowing he had a new home.

 

Aaron glanced surreptitiously over at Logan, as his friend reached for the coffee mugs and a spoon. Aaron had heard the expression years ago and though he had never questioned it and always thought it meant the way the Queen took her tea or coffee; suddenly he mused an alternative meaning. Could it be that it referred to the majority of gay guys and therefore, “Queen’s Coffee?” Maybe someone in a gay coffee shop had noticed that the majority of gays preferred milk or cream with two sugars? Inside, Aaron was laughing hysterically at the stupidity of his thought but his face remained impassive despite his amusement.

 

They sat at the table opposite each other, shoving the heavy meats into their mouths. Every now and then Logan would make sounds of approval that confirmed to Aaron he was satisfied. Aaron smiled on the inside but he did not look over at Logan and simply kept concentrating on his meal.

 

A background thought kept running through Aaron’s mind, which suggested he had dug himself a deeper hole, by asking Logan if he was going to move in. Even so, Aaron was glad he had because he knew that the love of his life was finally going to be living in a house with him alone. It was a fantasy that he had carried in his mind since he was a boy.

 

Logan kept looking up and glancing over at Aaron but each time his friend’s face was downturned to his plate. Logan knew that something wasn’t right and he wondered how long all of this would go on. When Aaron spoke he seemed settled and comfortable but when he was silent, he seemed lost and withdrawn to Logan.

 

“Ary, is everything okay? You seem like something’s wrong.”

 

Aaron looked over at Logan. A swift thought told him he was being obvious and doing all of this wrong. He knew he had to act normal, at least normal in the way he assumed Logan would remember him.

 

“Yeah, I’m all good. I just hadn’t realised how hungry I was, so stuffing my face has become my number one priority at the moment,” he deflected.

 

“You’re a good cook, Ary. You’d make a great partner for someone who loved you.”

 

“You mean a ball and chain that looks after someone else?”

 

“No, Ary, that wasn’t what I meant at all. The way I see it, lovers and partners should share the load. I think they should share everything and look after each other. In my mind, I’ve always thought that when two people are in love, every aspect of what they have together should be fundamentally equal. To varying degrees of course but whether it’s the physical, sexual or emotional and even to some degree the intellectual, I think there should be a good degree of equality, otherwise what would be the point? I mean if you were at odds with everything in the relationship, I can’t see how or why it would last long. Shit, Ary, you don’t sound like the guy I once knew.”

 

“No, I am. I mean, I was just being negative. If I’m honest then I agree with everything you just said. I suppose I’ve become a little cynical over the years. Anyway, since when have you thought about love and relationships? You’re the Crowned Prince of emotional detachedness when it comes to women. You always said to me that love and relationships were a waste of time.”

 

“Yeah, I guess where women were concerned that was the way I felt. Ary, maybe I’ve grown up and maybe I’ve seen the error of my ways. Maybe what you want is exactly what I want. Maybe you and I are more alike then you could possibly realise?”

 

“Logan, it’s a nice thought but somehow I doubt that the pussy whore of the planet earth could ever be anything like me,” Aaron replied.

 

Logan dropped his head and looked down at his plate. Aaron’s remark hurt. It more than hurt, it stung and deeply but Logan knew it was his own fault.

 

“You never know, Ary,” he said softly.

 

They both went back to eating and for a short time at the table, silence stood between them. Aaron continued to stare down at his meal but though Logan glanced up initially with curiosity concerning Aaron’s silence, his mind soon became transfixed on the visible sight of Aaron.

 

Logan stared at how broad, thick and muscular Aaron’s shoulders had become. His gaze dropped down to the large, defined and protruding chest. He looked at the above average sized, darkly coloured nipples and then he noticed how prominent the muscles of Aaron’s upper arms had become. He may have only been one metre seventy-eight but his body was so impressive and solid. Logan thought Aaron looked good enough to eat. Spring had recently begun Downunder and Aaron’s skin was smooth with a new yet deepening tan. Logan could only see one third of his body above the table, however, it turned him on and he thought about licking his smooth chest.

 

Aaron finally looked up, only to discover Logan looking at him and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

 

Reaching for any thought as a reply, Logan said, “Um, nothing. I was just wondering if you still had the same job?”

 

“No, I work for the local council now. Not the bullshit political side of things. It’s an outdoors job, a manual labouring position. I help to look after the local parks around the area. You know, keeping them mowed, the flora pruned and cut back and fixing and upgrading anything when necessary. Really, whatever needs to be done is what I do. I love it. I work with a group of really nice guys and I just love working out in the fresh air and getting my hands dirty. It’s keeping me really fit and building my body as well,” Aaron replied.

 

“Yeah, I noticed how good you look. Mate, look at your body; you look so strong and fit and healthy,” Logan said.

 

“I feel good and I’ve gotta say, even if I do say so myself, I’m really pleased with my body at the moment,” Aaron explained.

 

“I’d be pretty damned pleased if I had your body too. You look amazing, Ary, so much bigger and different from when I left.”

 

“Well, I’ll never be tall like the rest of the men throughout my family but I’m happy with my body mass and shape,” Aaron clarified.

 

Logan asked without even thinking, “Speaking of family, how are Mum and Dad?”

 

“They’re great and they’ve missed you. They ask about you all the time and so you better make sure you go and see them or dad will tan your hide,” Aaron responded like it was perfectly normal; happy that Logan had called his parents Mum and Dad like he always had years ago.

 

“I’ve missed having you guys around me and going to the house for dinners or just sitting in their living room watching movies like a family,” Logan said, dropping his eyes.

 

“Logan, we’ve all missed it. I still go over and do it with them and every time you come up in conversation. Mum and Dad and I laugh at the way you’d do your running commentary on any characters you thought were dickheads,” Aaron said and then snorted with amusement.

 

Logan felt a knot forming in his throat. Spending time with Aaron and his parents had often come to mind while he was overseas. No matter how much he had tried to get away and forget it all, it always came back and made him nostalgic or even sad. He bit his tongue to make the knot in his throat and the regret in his heart go away.

 

“God I’ve missed talking with you, Ary.”

 

Aaron smiled and as he looked deeply into Logan’s eyes he said, “Well, you’re back now and you’ve got nearly five years of catching up to do and so you better make it worth both of our whiles.”

 

“Ary, it hasn’t been nearly five years. I’ve been gone just under four years and five months.”

 

“Split hairs much, do you?”

 

“Well a lot can happen in six months,” Logan replied and thought, “Shit, how the fuck am I going to tell him what I have to tell him?”

 

When their plates were free of anything other than the brown and yellow streaks of meat and eggs, Aaron stood up and collected the plates together, before walking toward the sink.

 

“Ary, let me do that. You cooked us this wonderful meal so I think it’s only right that I should clean up afterwards,” Logan said honestly.

 

“I appreciate that Logan and I’ll be more than pleased to have my very own dishwasher in the house. Let’s not worry about it now, though. You can do it later or we both can but for now, how about we head to the living room and the lounge with our coffees?”

 

“I’m happy to do whatever you want, Aaron,” Logan replied and stood up from the table.

 

There was still an obvious tension in Aaron when he finally entered the living room and sat down. Logan was slowly becoming accustomed to the oddness but even though he was not certain of the issue or cause or the solution, he assumed he understood why. When he arrived that afternoon, Aaron had naturally been shocked but Logan had known that was because of his actions over the past two years. He had cut Aaron out of his life and Logan could not have expected a better reaction than the one he had received. He thought that anyone else would have probably told him to fuckoff and then slammed their door in his face.

 

Logan was also aware of the easy friendliness and love that still plainly existed. There was definitely something going on in Aaron’s mind but with a little guilt and also apprehensiveness, Logan wondered if he should say anything at all. Still, as a true friend, he thought he should say something and firmly question what was wrong.

 

Irrespective of his desire to sit on the fence and regardless of what the psychic had said or what he was beginning to believe, it was all still guess work and unknown truths. Eventually, Logan decided to let it pass for the time being and to see what would eventuate over the afternoon ahead. He was actually glad he made that choice because soon enough Aaron fell back into his old self. As if by magic, it was like nothing had changed between them and no time had even passed.

 

“So was Greece all you thought it would be?”

 

Logan gave a soft smile when he realised that not only did Aaron know him like the back of his hand but that he also remembered the things he had said to him over the years.

 

“It was amazing and yeah, it satisfied all the imaginings I’d had since I was a boy,” Logan replied.

 

“What was your favourite part?”

 

“Everything I saw was amazing. All the things you see in books and on television are just so spectacular. I mean walking up to, around and into the Acropolis was even better than I expected. I also did what I told you I was going to do and I went to Olympia. I stood there looking at a place where powerful and naked men had battled for victory and I could actually see it and hear it in my mind. There was a moment when I wished I had a time machine so that I could go back and watch it for real.”

 

“It does sound amazing,” Aaron said.

 

“Sparta was amazing as well but I think when I stood on the cliffs overlooking the waters and the beach where the Battle of Marathon took place, maybe that was my favourite moment,” Logan said and paused as he gazed thoughtfully.

 

“Then again,” he continued, “there were so many moments and so many places and things that somehow gripped me. I mean, Aaron, there were moments I wondered if I had been reincarnated and if I had actually lived in ancient Greece. There was something about that country and being there. I swear it really got under my skin. When the time came I really didn’t want to leave.”

 

With an uninterrupted and seemingly perpetual stare, Aaron gazed at Logan the whole time he was talking. Aaron was smiling because not only was Logan there with him but also, his memory-filled eyes and the passion in his voice emphasised the importance of what he was reliving. It made Aaron happy to hear the expression of so much feeling and to see the fulfilment in Logan’s eyes. Aaron was also enjoying Logan’s handsome smile while he was talking, however, the final remark brought a look of surprise.

 

“Reincarnation? What the fuck? Since when have you believed or even considered stuff like that? Logan, you always said that new age stuff, eastern religious beliefs and all forms of occult beliefs and practices were for the weak-minded. You even inferred that people who accepted any religious beliefs were a soft touch and had no opinions of their own?”

 

Logan laughed heartily at the way Aaron’s words expressed the way he used to think. Aaron was dead on the money but the phrases, “weak-minded” or “soft touches” made him laugh.

 

“Honestly Logan, what’s gotten into you? First in the kitchen you were talking about love and relationships and now you’re talking about reincarnation? Did someone kidnap, imprison and brainwash you in a cult? Who the fuck are you and where’s my old mate?”

 

Logan laughed loudly again but his laughter softened until there was nothing but a smile and love in his eyes.

 

“Ary, I suggested to you in the kitchen that maybe I’ve changed and so maybe your best mate is not the man you once knew.”

 

“I reserve the right to wait and see, due to the fact that somehow I just can’t imagine what you’re saying,” Aaron said.

 

Logan chuckled, rolled his eyes and then nodded his agreement. He wanted to prove it all to Aaron right there and then but everything seemed to be returning to the way it had been so long ago. However, he did not want to miss a moment by getting into some deep and meaningful conversation about all the things he had realised and learnt.

 

“I took a cruise around the Mediterranean. I tell you, Ary, it’s so beautiful and I’d love to take you there and show you firsthand,” he said, changing the subject but also speaking from his heart.

 

The idea of being with Logan anywhere, let alone travelling with him to beautiful locations, which was a fantasy Aaron had taken to bed every night since Logan left, was the last thing he had expected to have offered to him. The tone of Logan’s voice also did not go unnoticed by Aaron, however; he simply could not fathom the suggestion or offer. He wondered if Logan was talking flippantly, in the way so many people often did?

 

Aaron knew that their friendship as boys saw them do absolutely everything together. Now, though, after Logan had changed in some subtle way when they were teenagers and then after he had gone away and not come back like he said he would, Aaron therefore really could not relate to what Logan was suggesting. To him, their past and their present seemed worlds apart.

 

Even though Aaron wished for that friendship or even more if he were honest, still he struggled to imagine things could ever be so perfect again. He may have wanted them to reform that friendship and bond but he dismissed it all in that moment. He thought his heart and mind were caught up in a moment of fantasy and he assumed he had misinterpreted the sincerity in Logan’s tone of voice.

 

Regardless of his dismissal of Logan’s words, Pointer seemed to believe there was no misinterpretation and began to respond accordingly. Changing the subject hastily while pulling a cushion onto his lap, Aaron asked, “So where else did you go?”

 

“Everywhere. Well almost. The only continents I didn’t visit were Antarctica, Asia and South America. I spent a lot of time in Europe, about six months in Africa and all up, just over five months in North America. I only stayed in the States for a brief time because I cut it short,” he said.

 

“What? Why would you cut short America? You always said you wanted to see a lot of things there. How long did you stay there and where did you go?”

 

“I went to Los Angeles but I only stayed for just over two months,” Logan said dismissively.

 

“Why?”

 

Logan immediately thought of Lincoln and what had happened. He knew that until he was sure about Aaron and what was going to happen between them, the last thing he wanted to do was get caught up in a conversation he felt would be untimely. Again dismissively, he said, “What does it matter?”

 

“It matters because I’m interested and because we haven’t been in contact for two years and because I’m asking. Now, not that I’m strongarming you or anything but I still haven’t completely forgiven you for being a really bad friend. As such, I think because you should definitely be feeling really guilty for treating me the way you did, I would therefore think that at least for the next decade or two, your guilt should figure prominently and see to it that my requests and requirements take precedence over your apathetic nature. Therefore I think you should answer my question,” Aaron manipulated, completing with a soft but smug smile.

 

Logan was shocked by the response because it seemed a little un-Aaron-like. Logan also actually did feel guilty, even though he knew Aaron was only being half-serious. Even so, Logan really did not want to answer that particular question truthfully. He did not want to lie to Aaron but he knew that now was not the time. He stared at Aaron in disbelief of the verbal spiel he had directed his way and that had been followed with a smug grin, which was still visible. Regardless, Logan continued with an attempt to wangle his way out of the subject.

 

“I don’t know if I want to move in here with you, Ary. You seem a little too needy, a little like a lot of the women I’ve been involved with over the years. Hey, Ary, any chance you could make me another coffee?”

 

Aaron looked at Logan, smiled and then leaned forward and picked up the empty coffee mugs and left the room immediately. Logan smiled and gave a sigh of relief but a few minutes later, Aaron was back and looking at him with a knowing expression.

 

“Logan?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Pretending to be serious, Aaron asked, “What do you think it will be like moving back in with your mum?”

 

“What?”

 

“Well you just said you didn’t want to move in here,” he said, again deceptively serious.

 

“I was kidding, Ary.”

 

“But I thought I was too much like a needy woman?”

 

“Ary, it was a joke.”

 

“Oh, well that’s okay then. However, that being the case and knowing you’re going to be living here, I think you should know that I’m not a barista and you’re not a quadriplegic. Also, if you’re going to live with me and put up with my neediness, you may as well start now and answer my fucking question, you manipulative, son of a bitch,” he said, letting Logan know he had not fallen for his change of subject.

 

“What”?

 

“Don’t give me those ‘what are you talking about eyes,’ Logan. What are you hiding?”

 

“Jesus. Okay already,” Logan said in disbelief, as Aaron smiled at Logan rolling his eyes at him.

 

Logan knew he had to give an answer but he also knew he was still not going to give a truthful answer, at least for the time being.

 

“It was the last place I went to but um, well, not long after I arrived I was already thinking about coming home. You’re right, I did want to see the Grand Canyon, the Great Lakes and a shit-load of other stuff as well but I guess I just wanted to come home and anyway, I can always go back,” he said but then he thought about Aaron’s previous reaction to his suggestion and so he added, “maybe I could talk you into coming with me. I’d love to travel with you, Ary.”

 

It worked. Aaron was so overwhelmed by the tone once again, not to mention the actual words stating that Logan wanted to take him travelling, he automatically got sidetracked and just smiled from some deeply satisfied place. It did not matter that Aaron actually wanted to travel Australia and not the world. He was just too happy to even consider details.

 

Logan was more than aware of the look in Aaron’s eyes and it truly warmed him to think that Aaron could be so affected by the offer to travel with him.

 

Happily smiling, Aaron reached for his coffee and had to remove his huge smile just to take a drink. He then realised how he was reacting and so he jumped to the first question he could think of.

 

“What was Canada like?”

 

“It’s a beautiful place, Ary. I didn’t spend near enough time travelling there but it really should be on everyone’s list of places to go. If you and I were to travel together, we should definitely go there as well.”

 

“You were gone for five years, how could you have not seen all that you wanted to see?”

 

“Four years and five months,” Logan corrected again but continued, “Well, apart from the fact that this little globe of ours is actually a really big place, I had to work my way from place to place to make the money to do what I wanted to do. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to work for a few years and save a large amount of cash and then we could really look around and see all the amazing sights everywhere.”

 

Aaron wondered if he had been magically transported from his existence into some alternate reality, where dreams really did come true. He could not quite wrap his mind around the fact that Logan had cut him off and now he wanted to travel the world with him. It seemed unreal and yet he felt like everything was finally good in the world.

 

Aaron had been fundamentally relaxed since they entered the living room but in that moment, he felt even the slightest bit of tension that remained in his body, suddenly drift away. He let himself sink into the thick cushions of the lounge and in the hours that followed, the two men talked and they laughed and once again, the closeness and the easiness of two boyhood friends came gregariously back to life.

 

It would be some time later before both men realised they had found each other again, however, when that time was to arrive, even though there was still a major hurdle that they both had yet to overcome, still both men would know beyond a shadow of a doubt, their friendship, their relationship and their sincere love for each other, had been rekindled to a point where they would be certain they could overcome anything.

 

Unexpectedly while the two men were seated on the lounge laughing and continuing to talk, there came a sudden knock on the front door. Aaron looked at the door with surprise but instantly stood and went to see who was there. As he pulled the door back, there was an instant ruckus, as Aaron’s father barged in, laughing at Aaron’s shocked face.

 

“Dad?”

 

Hi, Son,” Reece replied.

 

Aaron’s mother, Shane, followed while apologising for Reece Carter’s rude and presumptuous, bull-in-a-china-shop intrusion, as she leaned forward and kissed Aaron’s cheek.

 

“Well I’ll be fucked,” Reece said in shock.

 

Shane turned and said, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Look who’s here and isn’t in Mauritius at all,” Reece clarified.

 

Shane pushed between Aaron and Reece while saying, “What are you talking about?”

 

Logan sprang to his feet with a huge smile on his face but as Shane reached his position, she slapped the back of his head and said, “that’s for lying to me on the phone” and then she pulled him to her and hugged him before kissing his cheek.

 

“Ow,” Logan yelled but as he embraced her and his chin rested on her shoulder, he looked at Reece and said, “Hi Dad, hi Mum,” and then a massive smile broke across his face again.

 

Shane let go of Logan and he instantly went to Reece and hugged him hard and said, “Man, I missed you guys so much.”

 

“Not enough to know better than to lie to us,” Shane said before continuing as she looked at Aaron and asked, “Did you know about this deceit?”

 

“No Mum, he surprised me as well. He rang you to get my address but he didn’t want you to let me know he was here, hence his bullshit,” Aaron replied.

 

Reece looked down at the way the young man was hugging him so tight. It made him feel both good and proud but it also made him wonder what was going on beneath the surface.

 

Logan let go of his surrogate father and stepped back finally. He looked around the room at the three people he had only ever considered as his real family. He could not wipe the smile off his face from being there with them all once again.

 

Aaron asked, “What are you guys doing here?”

 

“Well, you know how we enjoy going to different Westfield Shopping Malls?”

 

“Yeah,” Aaron replied.

 

“Today we decided to go to the one at Hornsby and so because we were so close by, we decided to get a few things for you and then drop in to say hello and see how you were. Good thing too because otherwise my second brat would have probably taken off again,” Shane said.

 

“No, I’m back to stay. Unless Aaron decides to travel with me,” Logan replied.

 

“Don’t you go taking my other son away from me,” Shane said and Logan felt like he was going to cry, from yet another son remark.

 

“Mum, you already know I want to see Australia before I go anywhere else,” Aaron reminded and Logan glanced at him with a subtle look of surprise.

 

“Well, get those bags from beside your father’s feet and let’s go into the kitchen because there are frozen meats and other perishables in some of them,” Shane ordered.

 

As Aaron and Shane disappeared into the kitchen and Logan watched them with a happy and nostalgic smile on his face, Reece walked up behind Logan and ruffled his fingers through his hair as he said, “It’s good to see you, Son.”

 

Logan turned around and looked at Reece like the world had just been made better. He smiled warmly at him but then Reece said, “I think you and I are due for a talk, don’t you?”

 

“What?”

 

“Come on, Logan, don’t try and put one over on me. I can see right behind those eyes and I know you’re bottling up shit you need to talk about. Like always, you need to get it off your chest. Now, let’s go out onto the front porch and have a talk, just you and I, man-to-man,” Reece said and then he turned and walked toward the front door.

 

Logan stood for a moment just staring at Aaron’s father and he shook his head at the way the man could always see right through him. He wanted this talk so much but he did not know how he could say what he wanted to say, specifically because so much of what he would be talking about, would be about the man’s son.

 

When Logan stepped onto the porch, Reece was already seated on the left side of the top step, a position vacant and ready for Logan to sit to his right. Logan gave a soft sigh and lowered his butt down, next to the only other man he respected and loved. They sat there for at least two minutes in silence.

 

Reece asked, “It can’t be that difficult, surely?”

 

“Reece…”

 

“Call me Dad, it always used to make it easier for you when you were younger,” Reece said.

 

“I’m not a boy anymore and I don’t know if that’s appropriate?”

 

“Logan, you’ve been calling me Dad since you were nine and it didn’t seem to be a problem treating me like your dad in the living room, when you hugged me like you would drop off the planet if you let go. So, why is it a problem now?”

 

“It’s not. I mean, shit, I don’t know,” Logan said with uncertainty.

 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Logan.”

 

“No, I do, I mean, you’re my dad or at least the closest thing I ever had to one,” Logan replied.

 

“It’s your choice but let’s get back to the issue,” Reece suggested.

 

“It’s really personal,” Logan said.

 

“It always is when you and I talk like this,” Reece replied.

 

“Yeah, it is but it’s not just about me and I’m worried how it will effect my life and those who are important to me,” Logan explained.

 

“Logan, I would suspect I have a fairly good idea what this is about. If you’re worried about how I’ll react, I think you’ll find nothing is quite as it seems or as you think. Have you and Aaron had a long talk yet?”

 

“About what?”

 

“Has Aaron told you anything he’s never told you before?”

 

“No. I mean, about what?”

 

“Son, this is for you to say to me, not for me to say to you to make it easy. Let me see if I can’t get you started, though. There was a reason you ran away, why don’t you start there,” Reece said, as he turned and looked Logan right in the eyes.

 

Logan asked, as if he had no idea what Reece was talking about, “Ran away?”

 

“Logan, my hand can slap the back of your head harder than Shane’s can. Don’t treat me like a fool when you know I’m not a fool,” Reece said sternly.

 

Logan was stunned. He thought, “Does this man really know and if so, how the fuck does he know?”

 

Reece saw the disbelief in Logan’s eyes and so he said, “Logan, pretend I already know what you want to tell me and then just tell me.”

 

Logan shook his head in disbelief yet again but he decided to do as he was told and just say the words. He thought the worse thing he could imagine happening was that Aaron’s father would soon be beating the shit out of him.

 

“Dad, I’m gay.”

 

“There, was that so hard?”

 

“More than you could possibly know,” Logan replied and Reece gave a soft and airy chuckle.

 

Reece lifted his arm and put it around Logan’s back and shoulders. He pulled him closer to him and said, “It’s perfectly natural despite the worldwide collective of people devoid of original thought. None of them matter though and so all you need to know is that we love you and will continue to support you.”

 

“If you know, does Aaron know too?”

 

Reece asked, “Have you told him yet?”

 

“No but I guess now that I know you know then I assumed you would have told him,” Aaron said.

 

Reece clarified, “It wasn’t up to me,” before he asked “but why haven’t you told him?”

 

“There’s more to it,” Logan said softly.

 

“Yeah, I suspected as much but I think enough time has gone by. I also think you’re old enough to begin living, acting and deciding like a man. Logan, here’s a piece of advice for you. It’s all well and good to be afraid of certain things but eventually you have to face those things that hold you back. If you don’t, you become stagnant and life grinds to a halt.

 

“It already did,” Logan remarked.

 

“Isn’t that why you’ve come home?”

 

“Yeah,” Logan replied.

 

“Logan, many years ago before Aaron was even a glint in my eye, I was terrified of approaching Shane and telling her how I felt. Eventually I did and ever since I’ve been a very happy man. Sometimes when the heart is screaming, just like yours has been screaming at you for years, you just have to walk up to the person that has gotten under your skin and despite everyone else or what anyone thinks, you need to grab that person and hope that you never have to let them go. I think it’s about time you did that, don’t you?”

 

Logan looked at Reece in astonishment and wondered how he was able to say the only words that seemed right. “Damn, I wish you had said this to me before I left,” he thought.

 

“Dad, I think I might be in love with someone that maybe I shouldn’t be in love with. I mean, I don’t know for sure if I am but I think that I once was.”

 

“Well, you’ve been gone for a long time and the only way you can find out for sure is to be with that person. You need to make yourself available to him so you can find out. Not that I can see any reason why he wouldn’t love you or want you in his life. You’re a pretty special guy, Logan, even if you did run away,” Reece said.

 

“But Reece, it’s complicated,” Logan said.

 

“Isn’t it always? Then again, isn’t that what we always tell ourselves when we’re afraid to do what we should? I wonder, Logan, is it really so complicated at all? Are you just scared and so you’re giving yourself an excuse or a reason to not do what you know you want to do? I mean really, didn’t you make it even more complicated when you started dating girls?”

 

“What? How did you? I mean…” he trailed off abruptly when there was a sudden verbal intrusion.

 

“Reece? Are you ready to go home?”

 

“I’m at your beckon call, Sweetheart. Just give me a couple more minutes,” he replied, as Shane poked her head around the door, nodded and then disappeared again.

 

Reece pulled Logan tight to him and whispered, “One last thing. You have my full support no matter how you think I might react. Aaron may be my biological son and I may love him with all my heart but I also know what he needs because I’m his father. You, boy, are my son as well and I know what you need, too. You have my blessing and I hope it works out for the both of you.”

 

“Reece, how could you possibly know?”

 

“Son, how could I not know? It’s been obvious to me since… I guess since you two were around ten. It was like knowing that Shane loved me when she looked into my eyes. You started looking into his eyes that way before you should have even been thinking about things like that. By the time you two were teenagers, at least for me, it seemed a foregone conclusion. When you started picking up girls and doing what you were doing and then when you took off overseas and didn’t come back, I began doubting my thoughts. However, now you’re back and when I saw the way you looked at him a few minutes ago, well, I guess it’s impossible to hold back the tide,” Reece said.

 

Logan swallowed in shock and then asked, “Does Aaron know?”

 

“Logan, I’m not a matchmaker or a mediator and I’m not here to give you answers that are not mine to give. I’m trying to tell you to grow up, to be a man and do what you have to do to discover if the path you want is available. You have to make the tough choices, ask the tough questions and face whatever the consequences might be.”

 

“Reece, what was Aaron supposed to talk to me about? I mean what you asked before about whether Aaron had told me something he never had, what was that about?”

 

“Logan, if you want to go fishing, then buy a rod,” Reece said.

 

“But?”

 

Reece leaned forward and kissed the top of Logan’s head in a true show of affection. He then hugged him tight before immediately standing up and walking inside.

 

Logan’s mouth was agape, as he sat there staring at the departing figure. The knowledge Reece knew he was gay and also that dating girls had been a façade was almost impossible to accept. The fact that Aaron’s father knew how he felt about Aaron was more than he could believe. Then there was the knowledge Reece not only knew he wanted to have sex with his son but also, maybe that he loved his son, too, well, it all just seemed incomprehensible.

 

Logan said into the empty space beside him, as he now sat alone, “What the fuck?”

 

Moments later, Logan stood up and walked back inside but when he stepped into the living room, Reece was reacting like nothing had happened and nothing had been said. They were saying goodbye and kissing and hugging.

 

“Come here, you,” Shane said to Logan and as he went to her she hugged him again.

 

When Logan let her go and turned around, Reece was heading out the door. He turned and looked back at Logan, smiled and then waved and then said, “Don’t be a stranger and don’t disappear again,” before he stepped outside of the house.

 

Logan walked across the room with Shane. She hugged Aaron again and then turned to Logan and said, “I’m so glad you’re back, Sweetheart.” She then left the house and as Logan and Aaron stood side by side with Logan’s arm around him, his fingers hooked over Aaron’s shoulder, they waved and then watched as their parents, both biological and otherwise, drove away.

 

To be continued...