A Helping Hand
By: DL
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are
allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
dl@tickiestories.us
Julian continued sobbing as I cradled him against my chest; I could clearly see a viciously red impression of a hand on his right cheek – judging by the fiery nature it hadn't been a gentle smack but a full-blooded swing that had clearly connected. It was only a matter of moments before Juan had caught up with us and seeing him standing uncertainly beside us, I thought the best way of calming both boys down was for Juan to comfort Julian, so I eased him away from me and held him out towards Juan who wasn't slow in grabbing him and pulling him into a hug. I turned and fishing my car keys out, clicked the remote and told Juan to take Julian to the car.
I watched the boys as they set off to the car and then turned back towards the house to find Julian's mum standing grim-faced on the step, watching events. I forced myself to compose myself and retraced the half dozen steps to her front doorstep. She didn't move at all as I approached and just stood there immobile as I stopped in front of her.
"I guess judging by Julian's reaction and the slap on his face you gave him, that you didn't take kindly to the news Julian just gave you?" I ventured. "What the hell is it to do with you, anyway, and who do you think you are coming to my house uninvited." Julian's mum retorted.
"As it happens, I'm here because I was invited here by your son who feared – with good reason it seems – how you might react to what he needed to tell you. Don't you think that this conversation might be better held inside rather than as an attraction for your neighbours?" Julian's mum didn't reply straightaway, but I noticed that she quickly surveyed the street and as I was aware that we had attracted some interest when I'd caught Julian in mid-flight, knowing how news about events like this travels swiftly, I felt sure that more than a few of the immediate neighbourhood had found a reason to be outside now.
Her survey of the surrounding area must have made Julian's mum realise the same as she stepped inside and held the door open without saying anything. I turned to check on my car and the boys and as I could see that Juan was watching events apprehensively and that he'd got Julian snuggled up to him, I stepped inside and back into the lounge as Julian's mum shut the door firmly behind me.
"So who the hell are you, and what has this mess with my son got to do with you?" Julian's mum managed to say in a steely voice that certainly managed to disguise any emotions she might have been feeling. I studied her carefully and thought about my reply before opening my mouth [well, there had to be a first time! – though my colleagues won't believe it]; "Julian told you my name's Dave, and for now that's as much as you need to know. As for what this 'mess' as you call it has to do with me its simply that Julian has known for some years he was gay – he's dated several boys – and now that he's fallen in love with Juan he felt he had no option but to tell you and he asked if I would come with him and Juan to give him moral support. Does that answer your questions satisfactorily?"
Julian's mum stepped back and looked round before sitting down on the settee that Julian and Juan had been occupying. I didn't feel that under the circumstances, sitting down was appropriate, so I remained standing and waited for her to say something. She just sat and looked at me blankly for several minutes before she finally managed to say "Julian's in love with Juan? Is that the other boy who was in here? What makes him think he's in love with that queer?" I managed to restrain myself from answering immediately to give my mind a chance to compose itself after the – to me – stupid questions she'd just asked. Eventually I replied "Yes Julian is in love with Juan, who is indeed the 'other boy' as you call him and the reason Julian thinks he's in love with him is because Juan turns him on sexually in a way no girl can; does that answer your questions?"
Julian's mum blanched and she turned a bright crimson as I told her about Julian's sexual preference for Juan. It stopped her talking for several minutes and I felt distinctly uncomfortable with the way things were going. "What do you mean 'Juan turns him on'?" Julian's mum finally asked in a tone of voice that made me stop and reconsider before answering: it seemed to me that there was a genuine need to understand being shown; and so I decided to spell it out explicitly. "I meant exactly what I said; Julian couldn't go with a girl if he wanted to. And yes, he's tried dating girls, just as he's dated boys. He had no feelings for the girls, and before Juan, although he was sexually attracted to the boys he'd never found one that he fell in love with as he has Juan."
"And where exactly do you come into this disgusting state of affairs?" Julian's mum clearly enunciated. Again I waited until I'd collected myself enough to give a reasonably civil answer before replying. "I happen to have found Juan a few days ago after he'd been kicked out of his home five days before by his 'caring' father" – I couldn't stop myself from emphasising that – "because he had a couple of gay magazines hidden in his bedroom. At the time I found Juan he was having the shit kicked out of him by a gang of kids. Julian met Juan when I took him to where he works to get some furniture and they've fallen in love."
"Love!" Julian's mum sneered. I couldn't restrain myself this time and far too quickly replied "You can sneer all you like; but the fact remains that Julian and Juan are very much in love and if you can't accept that fact then you'll have to face up to losing a son, because I'm a hundred per cent certain that he'll choose Juan before you. If you don't want to lose your son you'll have to accept his sexuality – there's nothing he can do about that – and his boyfriend."
"So why did you come to the door after he'd run off?" Julian's mum eventually answered. "Because I wanted to establish just how far off the rails the news Julian gave you had taken you. I've already spoken to Juan's dad by phone and he's completely unrelenting in his hatred of what he sees in the boy he now refuses to acknowledge as his son. I needed to know how you took it so I can deal with Julian and help him get over a traumatic event just as Juan had to."
"What do you mean 'a traumatic event'?" Julian's mum replied. "Well, being turned against by the person who's loved and cared for you all your life and suddenly being alone in the world with no family, friends or home is about as traumatic as it gets." I replied.
"I haven't turned him out!" Julian's mum snapped. "You may not have done so explicitly in so many words but do you really think that after being slapped like that and knowing how you feel about him he's just going to walk through the door as if nothing's happened?" I retorted.
There was a silence that lasted far too long for me, so I broke it "Do you mind if I get some of Julian's things for him, so he's got a change of clothes?" I ventured. Julian's mum stirred at this "What do you mean? He doesn't need you to get his things; he can get them for himself when he comes home tonight!"
I hesitated before replying, "I think you're mistaken. I don't think that Julian is likely to think of here as 'home' any time soon after what just happened. I may be wrong but I suspect that if you want your son back you're going to have to apologise and make an effort to show him that you're really sorry for what happened. But that's up to you. As you feel that taking some of his belongings is inappropriate, I'll go; this is my phone number – you'll always get an answerphone – but if you want to leave a message, Julian may return your call; its up to him."
"Well, he'll have to come back to get his things!" Julian's mum smirked as she came out with this and I couldn't help myself – I so wanted to dent her smug self-confident feelings that Julian would come to heel like a good dog. "Not necessarily, if he needs clothes I guess we can get him some." I replied as I handed her a slip of paper from my notepad with the 'work' home phone number written on it.
Feeling as I did that the encounter was over I simply turned and let myself out and determinedly walked to my car. Getting in I turned to the boys to see how they were doing; Juan was watching me intently, while Julian was cuddled up to him: their roles had been temporarily reversed. Julian wasn't the same boy we'd met three days before; his mum's reaction had devastated him.
I asked the boys if they were OK and just got a nod from Juan; Julian didn't move or say anything. Realising that it was going to take a little while and possibly some attention to get Julian back on track I fastened my seatbelt and we set off for home – well, mine – and now it seemed as if it was Juan and Julian's also.
Julian still hadn't snapped out of it by the time we arrived home and after moping around lifelessly in Juan's arms for nearly half an hour without really showing any signs of taking an interest in things I thought that perhaps the best thing to do was to put him to bed and give him a couple of sleeping tablets. Juan and I between us got him down to the bedroom and stripped him before getting him between the sheets. I left Juan with him while I got a glass of water and the sleeping tablets and on my return Juan held him upright while I persuaded him to take the tablets: Julian didn't resist; there wasn't any fight in him.
Juan tucked him in and kissed his forehead whilst I drew the drapes and we stood and watched him for a couple of minutes: I don't know how Juan felt, but it was heartbreaking for me to see him like this – I hoped that it wasn't going to last too long [I'd already mentally thought that if he didn't show signs of returning to life by tomorrow we'd have to take him to a doctor].
To be continued . . .
Feedback always welcome: dl@tickiestories.us
Posted: 09/21/07