A Helping Hand
By: DL
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are
allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
dl@tickiestories.us
Juan and I retreated to the lounge and sat and tried watching TV for a while; it didn't really work as there wasn't anything that interested either of us showing and we were both mentally elsewhere. Juan snuggled up to me and I just put my arm around his shoulders and we sat lost in thought for nearly an hour. I have no idea what Juan was thinking about, but the way his talk with his mum had affected Julian was what kept coming back to me: he'd been a self-confident, strong-willed young man from what I'd seen of him over the preceding days and I found it difficult to understand the change in him.
As I said about an hour had passed and I felt restless so I disentangled myself from Juan and nipped down the hall to the bedroom to check on Julian: he at least seemed restful now; he was asleep and rolled on his side. I stood there watching Julian for a couple of minutes before I realised that Juan had appeared by my side, and we watched Julian for a couple of minutes more before I turned Juan around and we both returned to the lounge.
"He should be out for another 5–6 hours, so it'll likely be early evening before he wakes up. Do you want to go for a walk around town just to see what the place is like?" Juan shook his head as he replied "Not without Julian." I looked at Juan speculatively; he also was subdued. "Do you want to go and lie down with Julian to keep him company?" I eventually asked. As I said this a flicker of interest showed on Juan's face; I smiled and he said "Would you mind if I did? I'd like to be with him for when he wakes up if that's OK with you?" I nodded and Juan lost no time in disappearing down to the bedroom.
I was at a loose end now and felt that going to work (what I'd normally have done) wasn't a good idea while Julian was still indisposed. Time hung heavily, and after trying the TV once more I eventually thought I'd go for a drive just to relieve the tedium. I slipped down to the bedroom to check on the boys before I left, and entering found both were asleep: Juan had spooned Julian and I could see he had his arms around him. I smiled to myself as I noticed that Juan's pyjamas were still on the bedside drawers: I didn't think the way Julian had been there was likely to be any risk of him being led astray by waking up in his naked lover's arms. I returned to the lounge and found a sheet of notepaper from my briefcase and wrote a very short note: 'Just popped out, won't be long – Dave' and took it down to the bedroom and put it on top of the boys' clothes.
I headed back to Bury unconsciously – I hadn't given any thought to going anywhere specifically – and just drove with the CD player turned down (for me at any rate). I simply followed the road until I reached Bury (where I had to think about where to go); I finished up on the marketplace and parked and went for a stroll (back then not many shops opened on Sunday).
I'd done a circuit of the marketplace, stopping to look in a few of the windows, but eventually found myself back at my car – that had only wasted about an hour and a half since I'd left the boys. Moodily I started the car and headed home; along the way I passed a service station and pulled in to get a paper just to have something to read.
I arrived home and just chucked the paper and my keys on the table and headed down to the bedroom to check on the boys: No change there.
I returned to the lounge and passed through to the kitchen to get myself a Diet Coke before settling down at the dining table to read The Sunday Times. I'd read a fair amount of it and the night had fallen when the phone rang; as it was the 'work' phone I just let it go through to the answerphone and sat there idly playing with my almost empty glass of Diet Coke.
It was nearly ten minutes before I could be bothered to stir myself to get another drink and on my return I idly pressed 'play' on the answerphone: 'Julian, I need to talk to you; will you call me?' came tinnily out of its speaker – it was Julian's mum. Hearing it made me stop and think and I walked down to the bedroom to check on the boys: Still no change; both asleep.
I returned to the lounge and sat and drank my drink, still feeling out of sorts. I thought of calling Julian's mum, but I didn't have her number (I'd erased the first message that Julian had left on Thursday night and she hadn't left a number: I guess because she expected Julian to call her and he knew it!). Eventually I thought 'what the heck' and picked up my car keys, quickly checked the boys were still asleep and headed back to Bury.
I drove more like my usual self this time: I had somewhere to go. It didn't take long to get back to Bury and getting to Julian's was only about another five minutes. I pulled up outside his mum's and wondered briefly whether it was a good idea or not, but eventually thought 'sod it, I'm here!' and got out and walked up the path.
Julian's mum had obviously noticed my car pull up and observed my approach as I didn't have to ring the bell – the door opened as I reached it. "What do you want now?" was her greeting. I stopped and considered her; she was obviously not so composed as earlier this afternoon. "You left a message on my answerphone." I replied. "Yes, but that was for Julian to call me; I don't have any wish to have anything to do with you." she rejoined. I lost my resolve and simply sighed, and turned on my heels and started back to my car.
"Wait! Just a minute!" Julian's mum called. It was enough to snap me back to life; I returned to the doorstep and said "I wish you'd make your mind up: one minute you as good as tell me to piss off and the next you tell me to wait 'just a minute' – which is it to be?" Julian's mum flushed at my outburst and I admit that after I'd said it, I did too; it was out of character.
"I suppose you'd better come in for a minute." she eventually said, stepping back and holding the door open. I entered and she showed me through to the lounge, taking a seat on the settee again. I wasn't invited to sit and to be honest, didn't feel inclined to do so. "So, why have you come here; why didn't you just get Julian to call me?" Julian's mum [I found out much later that her name was Stella] asked. "I came to see if you would talk; Julian isn't able to at the moment." His mum started as I said this, and I took it as a good sign: she at least had some interest in him. "What do you mean he isn't able to at the moment?" she snapped. "I mean that he hasn't said a word or done anything meaningful since we got him away from here after you assaulted him. Juan and I eventually put him to bed with some sleeping tablets as he was so out of it."
"I don't understand what you mean by 'he was so out of it', you'll have to be more explicit than that." Stella replied. "OK, I said he hasn't said anything and he hasn't: absolutely nothing; and he's like a rag doll – a zombie – he hasn't done anything except walk since we left here; we had to undress him and put him to bed. Is that explicit enough for you?"
"I don't think I've done anything to upset him like that!" Stella answered. "So, what exactly did you do, aside from slap him hard enough to leave a mark that was still showing nearly 20 minutes later?" was my reply. Stella seemed surprised at this and said "Hasn't he told you what was said?" I groaned; "You haven't been listening have you; your son hasn't said a word since you slapped him. I don't even know if he was awake if I could get him to talk to you on the phone. Its almost like he's suffering from a type of catatonic shock; if he's not anywhere near back to normal by tomorrow I'll have to get a doctor out to him!"
My outburst seemed to have stunned Stella, as she sat there, tight-lipped, unmoving and clearly not about to say anything. "Perhaps you can tell me what was said before you slapped him?" I asked. Stella considered this for a few minutes before replying "Nothing really." I was beginning to get exasperated by now. "If it was nothing why the hell did you slap him like that?" Stella flushed and I pursued my advantage. "The pair of you obviously talked and something was said and then you slapped him. What was said?" Stella hesitated, but still didn't say anything "For crying out loud; I know Julian's gay and that he's agonised for quite some time about telling you. He'd obviously made his mind up to tell you today, that's why he asked me if I would come with him for moral support; I didn't expect anything like this though. So how hard can it be just to explain what was said? I already know the relevant facts: Julian's gay and he's in love with Juan."
Julian's mum sat there for several minutes and I was beginning to think I'd wasted my time, when she finally sighed and said, "I suppose you're right. Julian came into the kitchen and couldn't get to the subject and that was exasperating me; he finally blurted it out 'I'm gay, mum and I've found a boy I've fallen in love with.' I told him not to be so bloody stupid; he didn't know what he was talking about. He said he did know he was in love with his boyfriend and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I said he should grow up and act his age; and he'd better forget about his queer boyfriend and get himself a decent girlfriend. He yelled 'No I won't!' and I lost my temper and slapped him; I've never ever hit him before and I didn't really mean to hurt him now." She'd finally opened up enough to show some emotion; and she was obviously unhappy with how things had worked out.
"Thank you. I guess if you've never actually hit him before, then what's just happened may have thrown him completely mentally off-balance and that would possibly explain the way he is now." I replied.
"Can't I talk to him?" Stella asked. "As I said, I don't know whether he'll be able to talk when he wakes up; neither Juan or I could get him to say anything." I replied. "Besides, you'll have to accept the fact that he is gay; its not a conscious choice he made – its just the way he is: he has no attraction to girls." Julian's mum looked at me speculatively, "I suppose the way that you've got that off pat; that you are too?" I flushed and eventually replied, "Not that its any business of yours, but yes I am gay and unlike Julian I have another problem: reconciling my sexuality – that's something I can't change any more than he can – with my religious beliefs."
There was a silence between us after this. "You say that Julian has tried dating girls without success and has dated other boys besides this Juan he thinks he's in love with?" Stella eventually said. "I did, but I don't think I can say anything else; I honestly think that you should have a serious talk with him without flying off the handle. Its his business not mine."
"And how exactly am I supposed to do that if you say he can't or won't talk?" Stella enquired. I'd already mentally got there, so I grinned [inappropriately] and said "I suppose either you'll have to come to see him or I'll have to try and persuade him to come back here – there aren't any guarantees on whether that's possible though."
Stella thought about my answer for several minutes before replying, "So, will you take me to see my son?" I nodded and said, "I'm pleased that you still think of him like that; if you're prepared to listen to him then maybe this can be worked out. Can I suggest that we take some of his clothes as he's likely to be staying with me for at least a few days."
Stella nodded and stood up and went to the hall door. "You may as well come and give me a hand." she said as she left the room. I followed her upstairs and into what was obviously Julian's bedroom. A quick look round revealed a complete absence of any female interest: there were posters and pictures on the walls but they were of footballers, pop stars and actors; it spoke volumes to me but apparently not to his mum! Stella grabbed a suitcase and filled it with clothes from Julian's wardrobe and chest of drawers. She pointed out his shoes and trainers against the wall and I picked them up and placed them in a carrier bag that had been lying on his chair. I followed her downstairs carrying the suitcase and the bag.
Stella opened the front door and I quickly walked to the car – I had to put the suitcase down as I hadn't thought to get my car keys out of my jacket pocket – and having opened it up I stowed Julian's bits in the boot and got behind the wheel. I waited until Stella emerged in her coat, clutching her handbag and I started the engine.
Once Stella had settled in the back seat and fastened her seatbelt I put the CD on and headed off for home. We completed the journey in silence (i.e. no conversation – that was why I'd put the CD on; I didn't want to talk). Arriving, I retrieved the bags from the boot and headed for the front door, switching on the outside light so Stella could see the way. I waited until she was inside and said "If you'll take a seat, I'll go and take these down to the bedroom and see if the boys are awake." Stella nodded and I departed down the hall.
Entering my bedroom, both boys were still asleep as I'd left them and I put Julian's bits down over by the window and came back to the bedside to check on Julian. I felt his forehead and was pleased that he wasn't running a temperature, but he didn't react to my touching him. As I was about to stand up I looked up and saw Stella standing inside the doorway staring at Julian and Juan entwined, sound asleep.
To be continued . . .
Feedback always welcome: dl@tickiestories.us
Posted: 10/12/07