A Helping Hand
By: DL
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are
allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
dl@tickiestories.us
I woke the next morning to the sound of a normal bustling Sunday, with a gentle glow managing to penetrate the heavy blue velvet drapes on the windows. I lay there, awake, but not with it and just quietly adjusted to a new day. I stretched as I usually did and rolled onto my back; as I did so, Julian quietly said "Dave?"
Hearing him, my brain clicked into action – I still wasn't used to having company in my home. I rolled over onto my left side, facing Julian and said "Morning Julian," noting as I did so that Julian didn't look like he'd had a good night's sleep. "Are you OK?" I continued. "Yeah, I'm OK; I just didn't sleep very well." Julian replied.
"Anything wrong?" I asked, concerned that he didn't look like the same young man that I'd seen over the past couple of days. I'd never seen Julian look weary and worn out yet; thus far he'd been full of life and vitality: even when he'd been pissed with me!
I waited patiently, and Julian lay there for several minutes without replying. I was contemplating reaching out to gently shake him when he finally stirred, and moved his head round so that he was lying on the pillow facing me, instead of lying on his back as he had been. "I thought a lot about what you said last night before you said goodnight," Julian finally responded in a croaky voice [he was obviously not fully awake yet].
"OK, what caused the sleeplessness?" I asked. Julian didn't this time take long to answer, "Thinking about what you asked," was his short reply. "I'm sorry if I caused you any unnecessary anxiety with anything I said;" I replied, genuinely sorry for causing him distress. "No, its not your fault, you were absolutely right; if I were to accept your offer of a room, I'd have to say something to Mum. I just hadn't thought it through; you forced me to think about something I guess I'd been shirking." Julian said.
"So, let's try taking this in easy steps that we can build together. You said 'if I were to accept your offer of a room,' – have you made up your mind whether you want to or not? I know that its only 48 hours since I told both you and Juan that you should wait before making any hasty decisions about a relationship, but to me you both seem to have moved beyond wanting a relationship, almost to the point of accepting each other. Have you asked Juan what he wants?" I queried.
Julian didn't reply; several minutes passed, and as he was still silent, I thought I should pursue it. "Do you think you love Juan?" I asked. This was easy for Julian to cope with and he didn't hesitate before replying, "I'm sure that I do; I know I do [the emphasis was in his voice], its just whether he loves me or not I don't know." he said.
I lay there, watching Julian intently, and the affection he'd previously shown towards Juan was so manifestly present in him as he'd replied to my simplistic question that I couldn't help revising my opinions. "Have you asked him at all?" I said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Julian glared at me – LOL, for a moment there he started to look more like the boy I'd first met at MFI; defiant! – and scathingly said "You said to leave him to recover from his problems!"
I couldn't deny the truth of his accusation, and shamefacedly replied, "True; but I didn't realise back then that I was too late and that you'd already fallen for him; you have, haven't you?" Julian grinned at this and said, "Yes, I really have." I couldn't help noting that for the first time in our conversation he was almost back to normal. "So, I guess the best thing to do is to have a chat with Juan and ask him outright about his feelings," I replied.
Julian grinned at this and I was irritated enough, knowing exactly why he was grinning to reach out and poke him in the ribs. "What did you do that for?" Julian asked, still with a grin plastered on his face. "You know very well why, so unless you want me to reconsider my offer of a room, give me a break." I replied. Julian's grin faded as I said this and I was instantly ashamed of my low behaviour.
"Sorry, Julian, I should never have made a remark like that, even in jest; I was serious about you being able to count on having a room – and it was particularly unkind of me to be so insensitive just now." I replied.
Julian stirred, perking up a little, "Its OK, I've started to appreciate that you have a very weird sense of humour; but I've also realised that you are a caring guy, and I didn't really take it seriously."
"Thanks, Julian. I realise that you find it funny that I'm suggesting to you that you should talk seriously to Juan about his feelings towards you when I've not long since told you both you need to wait. But I didn't realise back then what I know now," I replied, continuing "I'd say with the benefit of 48 hours extra time that you're a couple; and it seems to me now, that you were made for each other. So, I guess the thing to do is talk to Juan first, and then if you want – I'm sure of what he'll say, just as you are, deep down inside, aren't you?" – Julian smiled and nodded – "And then we can talk about the next step if you want to."
Julian's smile broadened, and there was an eager, almost puppy-like look about him now, like a kid that's just opened Santa's sack and found the prezzie he really wanted all along, but thought he'd never get! "So, you're not against me dating Juan?" Julian asked. "Of course not; and it wouldn't make any difference if I was, would it?" I replied, getting another wide smile and a simultaneous bright flush from him. "I now think that once you've popped the question to Juan you should just let nature take its course and grow together; you shouldn't force the pace though, and spoilsport that I am, if you both promise me that you won't indulge in sex before he's eighteen, I'll let you sleep together if you want once the beds arrive. But remember he's under-age, you know that; and you also know the problems it could cause for both you and I – as well as Juan – if you were sexually active before his birthday don't you?"
Julian visibly became even happier as I mentioned the possibility of allowing him and Juan to sleep together, and he didn't hesitate in replying. "Would you really allow that? Me sleeping with Juan, that is?" I smiled at the eagerness apparent in his voice and said "If you both promised me there would be no sex before his birthday, then yes, I would." Julian smiled at the thought and then asked "You'd trust us if we promised?" I couldn't help myself, and smiling, reached over and tousled his hair as I replied. "Of course I would, neither of you has done anything wrong or given me any reason to distrust you, so why wouldn't I?"
Julian snuggled down into the bedclothes, happier by far than when I'd first seen him this morning, and said, "Would you and Juan come and meet my Mum?" I smiled at this plaintive question and said "You looking for moral support?" which made Julian grin as he replied "Yeah, I need it; I've never had to do anything this difficult before." I was amused by his candour; and I was fairly sure that his changed demeanour was because after our conversation just now he'd finally reached a decision that had eased his troubled conscience.
"So, you want to try getting a couple of hours sleep now? I think you can probably manage it now, don't you?" He smiled and I tousled his hair again. "Thanks, Dave. Yes, you're right I think I probably can manage to sleep now!" I grinned, "OK, well try it and see; you want to talk to Juan after breakfast?" Julian smiled happily, "Yeah, I will, and thanks again!"
I simply rolled over onto my side facing away from him and tried once more to sleep – I should have learnt by now that sleep only comes as needed! I did eventually doze off, but it wasn't through trying; and it didn't seem like long before I felt myself being gently shaken, and opening my eyes, found myself being roused by Juan clad in his pyjama-bottoms.
"What's the matter?" I managed to mutter. "Nothing, its just its nearly 9:30," Juan replied. "OK, go back to bed and I'll come down and see you in a minute, right?" Juan started to protest and I stopped him by putting my finger to my lips and pointing over my shoulder towards Julian. "Just go, OK!" Juan nodded and padded off to the bedroom. I groaned and finally struggled upright [have I mentioned that getting up isn't my strong point?] and got out of the bed, draping the duvet back over Julian's peacefully sleeping form. Putting on my pyjama bottoms I made my way down to the bedroom and entered, finding that Juan had indeed gone back to bed. I went round the far side and slipped under the covers, rolling over to face him.
He rolled onto his left side, so he was facing me, with a puzzled look on his face. "Don't worry, I'm not going to molest you; its just Julian didn't sleep very well last night, and he's only been asleep a couple of hours since he and I talked earlier this morning." I explained. "Why didn't he sleep very well?" Juan asked.
"Because he was unsettled about the future after he and I had a conversation last night." I truthfully replied. Juan's face darkened as he frowned before answering "Now what have you done? Why can't you just let us be together?" he finally said, apparently hitting the target instinctively!
"Quieten down, its not my place to say any more, but Julian is going to want to talk to you after breakfast, and so you know, in the light of some recent events I think I was wrong – well, not actually wrong, maybe just misguided – when I spoke to you Thursday night."
Juan lay there digesting my remarks and thankfully his frown disappeared. After several minutes mulling over what I'd said, Juan tentatively asked, "So, you've changed your mind about me and Julian?" I couldn't help noticing the linkage and smiled. "Possibly; how do you feel about him?" I replied. Juan smiled as I answered his question and then he lay there thinking before answering: "I don't know how to answer that question; I like him a lot and he really cares for me, but I don't know whether you could call my feelings for him love or not." I smiled at him, and said "The other day when Julian came in and persuaded you to move over so he could get in bed with you, you remember?" he flushed and grinned as he nodded his affirmation, "you were going to give me a hard time about not minding him being in bed with you despite refusing to let him sleep with you;" his face turned crimson as he heard my words and recalled the event, "but then Julian cuddled up to you and started stroking your stomach didn't he?" Juan's face became a brighter shade of red and I smiled as I helped him out, "don't fret, its nothing to be embarrassed about; my point was simply this: you really liked it while he was caressing you didn't you? And the note he wrote you, it meant a lot to you too didn't it?" Juan's face lightened and he smiled broadly, "Yeah, you're right; I felt so good when he was cuddling me, that someone loved me after all …" he stopped in mid-sentence and his face was once more a bright red. I leant forward and kissed his forehead, before reclining on the pillow once more and laughing. Juan took my laughter the wrong way and his face darkened.
"Don't worry, I knew what you meant and I wasn't offended by what you said; I realise you stopped because you suddenly realised that I loved you, even if in a different way, and that you thought I might be upset by what you'd just said. You should give me credit for being a little more understanding than that. And I know now that whilst I may have been right in saying you should wait a while, I was possibly too late in saying it."
Juan didn't take long to digest that remark and swiftly replied, "Julian does love me doesn't he?" I couldn't avoid such a direct question and didn't think it was breaking any confidence in affirming such an obvious statement. "Yes, he really does, he's just unsure about your feelings for him and my behaviour has probably stopped him from establishing those as he didn't want to go against me or affront you."
Juan was now much more alive, there was a sparkle in his eyes [one more than the other, but it was getting better] that hadn't been there before. "So, you say that you've changed your mind? What exactly does that mean?" I smiled ruefully at his eager anticipation; "You're as bad as Julian for asking awkward questions; I meant that whilst I still think I was right in saying that you should wait and make sure your feelings weren't influenced unduly by your situation; I should have allowed for the possibility that just maybe the right person might come along sooner rather than later!"
Juan was obviously very pleased by my admission, and was smiling broadly! "So, does this mean that you will allow me and Julian to be together?" I couldn't help chuckling at his unashamed enthusiasm; if Julian could see or hear him now he wouldn't have to 'pop the question' after breakfast!
And it transpired that Julian wouldn't have to wait, as unbeknown to either Juan or I, a naked Julian had been listening intently outside the door for several minutes (he did apologise later, saying that he'd been intending to knock and enter when he heard the conversation take an interesting twist, so he waited; and he had detected the answer to his as yet unvoiced question in Juan's voice as he asked me that last question!)
Now, hearing Juan's question and detecting – correctly, the emotions present both behind it and in his voice – he pushed the door open, grinning at Juan and sprinting over to the bedside. Juan laughed as he saw him, and lifted the covers to allow him access; Julian needed no encouragement and swiftly had his boy laying alongside him with his head cradled in his arms: I'm certain that Juan had noted Julian's state of arousal as he'd entered, and to say that there were two very happy teens in bed together would be putting it mildly!
I couldn't help smiling broadly at the sight of the pair of them so obviously relieved that they would be allowed to be together. I cleared my throat before saying, "Julian, what you wear in bed is no concern of mine, but do you think you could mange to wear something outside the bedroom?" Juan grinned at his lover as I said this, and Julian laughed before replying, mock innocently, "But Dave, I was in the bedroom!" I couldn't help laughing at this, and the 2Js both grinned happily as I conceded defeat.
"Well, Julian, I think this means you don't have to get down on bended knee after breakfast after all; it seems to me that young sunshine here is attached to you as much as you are to him, isn't that right Juan?" I couldn't help laughing when Juan, instead of answering, hauled himself on top of Julian and proceeded to give him a passionate kiss that Julian wasn't slow in responding to!
To be continued . . .
Feedback always welcome: dl@tickiestories.us
Posted: 09/07/07