My Father, My Son
by: Tom Borden

© 2000-2008 by the author


The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...


Tom lay there, exhausted. Still holding on to his penis, he almost immediately fell asleep. Several hours later, he awoke, having to pee very badly. His hand was almost glued to his penis with dried cum. He walked down the hall to the bathroom and washed himself up. It was still dark, and his wife was still asleep. He quietly crawled back into bed next to her. She felt the bed stir, and awoke just enough to say sleepily, "Are you all right, dear?"

"Yes," replied Tom. "I couldn't be better."


Chapter 76 

Terry Murdock had just finished his last day with the Goliad Inn and spent the evening packing up his few belongings in readiness for his drive to Austin to join Adriano. Adriano had continued to stay with Josiah and Brian in their apartment, but several days before Terry's arrival, Adriano had located an apartment close to the campus and had described it to Terry over the phone. With Terry's agreement, Adriano, with the help of Josiah and Brian, moved in his belongings, including some of the damaged wooden furniture, which he intended to refinish later.

Adriano had kept largely to himself in his room, not wanting to be a nuisance to Josiah and Brian. He could often hear his two hosts in the adjoining room enjoying their nighttime sexual activity. He masturbated every night in his own bed, thinking of Terry, but having his excitement heightened by the sounds coming from his hosts' room. On the last night before he moved to his new place, he was stroking his penis, as usual, when the door opened. Josiah and Brian stepped in, both completely naked.

Brian said, "Adriano, please. This is your last night here. We know you're thinking about Terry's arrival in a few days, but we'd like to have you sleep with us just this one time. Would you mind if we joined you there?"

Adriano had wished for this to happen, but he had not been able to get himself to take the initiative. He said, "I'd love to, you guys. But, if you don't mind, I just don't feel that we should . . . you know . . . go all the way. I hope you understand about that."

Josiah said, "We understand, Adriano. Brian and I would just like to be close to you tonight. We both love you, but we don't want to do anything that would in any way be disrespectful of your relationship with Terry."

As Adriano extended his arms in welcome, Josiah and Brian climbed into bed on either side of Adriano. As they began to caress Adriano's body, Adriano turned his head back and forth, kissing each of them. Adriano continued to hold on to his hard penis and stroked it slowly. Soon, both Josiah and Brian, with their bodies pressed up tightly against Adriano's, began to stroke their own penises. As they all stroked, they continued to kiss one another.

Brian said, "Let's all try to cum together. And let's see who can shoot the farthest."

The three handsome lads lay quietly without talking as they stroked, all watching each other's penis as they did so. Josiah was the first to show signs of being ready when his body began to stiffen. Brian and Adriano picked up the pace, knowing it was time. All three of their bodies were now stretched and taut and, as they all moaned, the sperm began to shoot from their penises. Rope after rope of thick white cum were hurled into the air and down onto their bodies. Sweating and out of breath, they each squeezed their penises to get the last drops.

Looking over at each other, they could see that Josiah had sent one of his streams of cum up to the hollow in the middle of his chest exactly between his nipples. Brian had lost control of his hand in the heat of his orgasm, and most of his sperm had landed on one of his arms, just below the elbow. Adriano, however, lay there with a large glob of his sperm lying in the dimple of his chin. Adriano was older than Josiah and Brian and, as everyone knows, the distance that a guy's sperm can be shot becomes less and less as he ages. But the rule didn't hold true for Adriano. Brian and Josiah laughed and conceded the contest to Adriano.

Adriano asked Josiah to reach down by his side of the bed and get the towel that he always kept at the ready. After they had wiped up the gooey mess, they lay there once again caressing each other lightly.

Adriano said, "This was nice, you guys. You've both been so great to me, letting me stay here and helping me move stuff and all. And then this great jack-off session! I hope I can re-pay you someday."

"Don't be ridiculous, Adriano," said Brian as he kissed Adriano lightly on the lips. "All we expect is a good grade from you in the next class we take with you!"

"Well, that won't be hard," said Adriano, returning the kiss. "You guys make nothing but A's anyway, entirely on your own. You'll have to think of something else I can do for you."

Josiah said, "Brian was just kidding. The one thing you can do for us is to just stay like you are, just staying our friend."

Adriano reached out both arms and pulled each of them closer to him. "Stay here close to me and sleep with me tonight."

Brian and Josiah pressed Adriano close between them, and all three were soon asleep.

The day after Terry Murdock arrived, he reported to François's to begin work. Going directly to François's office, he found that François had assembled his four sons to greet him. "Come in, Monsieur Murdock! I want you meet my four sons. And I wanted them to meet you, also, since you will all be working together. I'll introduce them with the oldest first, and then down to the baby of our family. This is André. He's twenty four. Then we have Henri, Jacques, and Antoine. Boys, this is Monsieur Murdock, our new head waiter."

After all had shaken hands, the boys left to go about their duties.

François said, "Sit down Murdock. In a minute, I'll take you around and introduce you to the chef and the kitchen help. But first, I think I need to tell you about André, my oldest boy. He's a good worker and has always done a fairly good job in the dining room. In fact, he has made this restaurant his whole life. You need to be aware that he wanted the head waiter's position, and I believe he had expected to be appointed head waiter. But, Murdock, he just simply isn't ready. He needs more polish and he's never been particularly good with wines. I probably would have given him the position, if you had not come along when you did. And I imagine he will be the one to take over the place when I'm gone. I dislike having to put you in this position. He is not a happy young man over your appointment, and I think you need to be aware of this. He's a bit hot-headed. You know, we French are excitable at times. But I know you will be able to deal with this."

Terry said, "I appreciate your filling me in on this situation, François. I have in the past dealt rather effectively with these kinds of things. But, of course, this will involve the boss's son, so to speak, and that may put me at a disadvantage to a certain degree."

"I understand that, Murdock. Normally, if things got truly out of hand, you would have the prerogative to fire him. That is the only bad part of this. Of course, I don't want him to be fired. Any difficulty you encounter will simply have to be dealt with in other ways. I'm really sorry, Murdock, to have thrown this problem in your face on your first day. But I'm confident, with your experience and your well-mastered sophistication, you'll be able to deal with it."

Terry spent the rest of the day familiarizing himself with the routine at François' and getting to know all of the personnel. When the restaurant opened for business at 4:00 p.m., Terry waited on a few tables, but spent most of his time observing the conduct of the other waiters. At about 6:00 p.m., he went into the restroom. As he entered, he could see that André was following close behind. As he stood at one of the urinals, André stood at the one next to him.

"Well, Murdock," said André, "how do you like the place so far?"

"I think I'm going to love it here. All of you have been so nice. With your experience, André, I'm going to depend upon you a great deal."

After a few moments, André said, "I know why my dad hired you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It's your looks."

"My looks?" said Terry. "I doubt my looks had anything to do with it."

"You're a very handsome man, Murdock. I saw how my dad looked at you when you first came in to see him."

"I didn't notice anything like that."

"Come, come, Murdock. Don't be naïve. It was your looks. He was going to make me head waiter until you came in."

Both Terry and André continued to stand at the urinals, even though they had finished peeing. André stood there gently shaking his penis. Then he said, "Has dad seen that yet?"

"Seen what?"

"That! Your cock," said André as he looked at and pointed to Terry's penis.

"No, he hasn't. What are you trying to tell me, André?"

"You'll find out soon enough, I'm sure." Then looking deliberately down at Terry's penis, he said, "How long is it, anyway? Seven? Eight inches?"

Terry backed away and zipped up. As he did so, he could see that André's penis was now hard and stiff. André stood at the door as Terry washed his hands at the sink. As Terry dried his hands, he said, "André, aren't you going to wash your hands?'

"Is that your first order to me, Murdock?" said André sarcastically.

Murdock said, "It's not an order, André. It's simply expected that anyone who works here will wash his or her hands after peeing."

Without a word, André deliberately walked out the door without washing his hands.

When Murdock returned to the apartment after 10:00 p.m., Adriano greeted him with a hug and a kiss and asked how the first day went.

Murdock poured himself a glass of wine and sat down. "Well, Adriano, I'm not sure. I'm honestly not sure. I like the place a lot, and I like most of the people who work there. But there's a strange situation between François and his oldest son, André. François warned me that André was unhappy because he didn't get the head waiter's job. But then André confronts me with the claim that his father hired me because of my looks. He intimated that his father was attracted to me physically."

"I don't blame him, Terry," said Adriano with a smile.

"And I get the strangest feeling, Adriano," continued Terry, "that there might be something going on between François and his son, André."

"You mean romantically?" asked Adriano.

"Yeah. I'm not positive, though. André is not a very pleasant person. He's as handsome as anyone could be, but he's really sore about my being there. And then, when he was standing next to me at the urinal, I could see he had a really stiff hard-on."

"You looked?" said Adriano.

"Well, yes. We all like to sneak a look at the next guy's equipment. Anyway, he was looking at mine! And he asked if his dad had seen my cock yet. Adriano, I have the feeling I'm going to run into more stuff in the job than I bargained for."

"It sounds kind of interesting to me," said Adriano. "All I ask is that you keep your hands to yourself."

Getting up and taking Adriano in his arms and kissing him lightly on the lips, Terry said, "I intend to, my love. My hands are for you only."

After going to bed and taking each other's cum orally, Adriano and Terry lay tightly in each other's arms. Terry had had a tiring first day and was soon asleep. Adriano lay awake, running his hand lightly over Terry's neck, back, and arms. He felt strangely troubled. It suddenly occurred to him that he really didn't know Terry. Their romance had occurred so quickly. Maybe there was something to the idea that two people should get to know each other better before a commitment is made. He had no reason to believe that Terry would get 'involved' with anyone else. But he would be working closely with this homosexual father and his homosexual son, both extremely handsome men. He realized he just didn't know Terry well enough to be certain in his own mind that Terry would not somehow get 'involved' with one or both of them.

The next day, Tom Borden returned to his office to find Josiah sitting there in front of his desk, facing the other way. Tom walked up behind Josiah and put his hands on the boy's shoulders and squeezed them. He said, "Josiah, how are you today?"

"I'm fine, Dr. Borden," said Josiah. "I have some questions about the denouement in the last chapter of the Amberson novel. The style of Tarkington's writing seems to change so abruptly as he presents the final outcome of the drama."

Tom went around the desk and sat down. Remember, Josiah? The name's Tom. Okay?"

Josiah smiled and said, "Okay, Tom."

"Before we talk about the denouement, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed our conversation last evening in the cafeteria. I appreciated your telling me more about yourself. You're not only a very talented writer, you have had a very novelistic life. You know, I was thinking about that this morning. Have you ever considered writing about your life? It hasn't been exactly a rags to riches kind of life. But it would be a story about a life that moved from the depths of desperation to the height of hopefulness. Something like that."

Josiah smiled and said, "My partner, Brian, also suggested that I do that. But after I thought about it, I thought I would rather someday write a fictional novel in the third person, using my own life's experience as a basis of the story in which I could endow the main character with all the emotional baggage I've had to carry, as well as my own feelings and all the longings that I have felt through my life."

"That's right, Josiah," Tom said. "All of those things can be brought up and written about so much more clearly in a fictional story than one can easily do in a straight autobiography. Anyway, as I've said before, all fiction is autobiographical. The heart and soul of an author can be discerned so clearly in the fiction he writes."

Tom could see Josiah writing in his notebook. He always wrote everything that Tom said to him. Tom leaned forward and said, "Josiah, did you say, your partner, Brian?"


"I don't think I've ever met Brian. Do you live with him?"

"Yes," replied Josiah. "Brian and I have lived together for some time."

Tom had not realized that Josiah lived with someone. He had never questioned in his mind Josiah's sexuality. He now wondered if Josiah had a romantic relationship with Brian. Tom felt a sort of excitement come over him with the realization that perhaps Josiah was . . . .

Josiah noticed a rather strange, far away look in Tom's eyes and said, "Tom? Is something the matter?"

Tom smiled and said, "No nothing's the matter. Why don't we talk about the Amberson novel now."

Josiah and Tom talked about the novel for the next half hour. Josiah closed his notebook and said, "Tom, Brian and I are thinking of going down to the Walker Ranch on the weekend for a couple of days. We thought we would go down on Friday and stay Friday and Saturday nights and then come back home on Sunday afternoon. Would you like to come with us? I know you sounded interested in doing that last evening."

Tom looked at his calendar and said, "Yes. Yes, I'll be free. I don't have any classes on Friday. I'd be glad to go down there with you. It'll be nice seeing Michael Walker again. But please ask them first if it will be all right for me to go down there. I hate to walk in on people unannounced."

"I will," said Josiah. "But I know it will be okay. They love to have visitors, and they've got lots of room in that big house of theirs.

After Josiah left, Tom leaned back in his chair and thought about what he had just learned about Josiah. It made his head swim. He wondered if Josiah felt about him the way he felt about Josiah. He wondered if there might be some attraction there. But he knew that whatever attraction either of them had for the other was hopeless. He would never want to come between Josiah and his partner, Brian. Tom thought back over the many missed opportunities he had had in his life just because he would not give in to those guys who had unsuspecting partners. He went about his work for the rest of the day, trying valiantly to put thoughts of Josiah out of his mind. He would concentrate only on thoughts of how nice it will be to see Michael again.

Mark received a call from the Crawford Police Department that the results of the forensic tests had come in. Mark and Corky got in the car and drove immediately to Crawford. When they arrived at the station, there seemed to be a flurry of activity inside and outside, with police cars coming and going.

"What's going on here today," Mark asked.

Chief Gonzalez said, "Well, George Dub-ya's down here at his ranch for a few days. Every time the president comes here, everything's in a tizzy. The Secret Service guys are runnin' all over the place, and it's always a real disruption."

Mark thought to himself that Mona Thomas must really be busy with her Secret Service customers.

Chief Gonzalez and Police Detective Rodriguez sat down with Mark and Corky and went over the results. Detective Rodriguez said, "I want to tell you that there is a match. The DNA from the semen and urine we got off of the boy's underwear and that of the blood on that piece of terrycloth match perfectly. It also matches the traces of blood we found on the machete and on the front seat of Thomas's pickup."

Chief Gonzalez said, "Well, Mark, we're now gonna treat this case as a homicide. The only trouble is, we ain't got a body. And nobody in the last year has reported finding a body anywhere, neither."

Mark said, "It looks like it's going to be a real problem finding the boy's body."

Gonzalez said, "We'll dispatch a team out to the Thomas house. You know, sometimes in these family murder cases, they bury the body in the back yard and then plant a garden over 'im. Either that or they pour a slab of concrete over 'im."

Mark said, "I kind of doubt the body's on their property. The neighbor saw Thomas take the boy in his truck that night, and then saw him come home later alone."

Well, I guess the only thing to do now," sighed Chief Gonzalez, "is to organize a dragnet out across the countryside and just comb every inch of it."

Mark said, "Yeah, and don't forget about dragging these lakes and ponds around here. Are you going to make an arrest now?"

"I ain't doin' nothin' 'til we find that body," said Gonzalez.

Mark said, "But you can make an arrest on the evidence you have. It's perfectly legal to do it without a body if you have the kind of evidence you have."

"I know," said Gonzalez, "but I ain't arrestin' nobody for murder if there ain't no body. That's just ain't the way I do things."

"Well, you'd better get on this dragnet pretty quickly because I'll bet Thomas is already getting on to what's going on, and he's likely to go on the lam."

"Okay, McLeod," said Chief Gonzalez, "you go on home and we'll let you know as soon as we turn up something."

On the drive back to San Antonio, Mark said, "Corky, I just know Thomas has already figured out that we're after him. If they don't find Joe's body soon, I'm afraid we'll end up with a big manhunt for this guy. No telling where he'll run off to."

Corky said, "Well maybe if we drive back there and tell Thomas that there is no more investigation, and that we believe him when he tells us the boy is now with relatives, he might stick around."

Mark said, "Corky, the guy's a real asshole, but I don't think he's dumb enough to fall for that. We'll just have to trust that Gonzalez and his deputies find the body quickly."

Early that morning, Michael and Karl decided to saddle up a couple of horses and ride out so that Michael could show Karl the various developments that occurred at the ranch while he was gone. They went to look at the expanded Milo Maize fields in which the new strain of Maize was now being grown. They also went around to most of the natural gas wells, spotting those that had been newly uncapped. Riding over to where most of the herd was grazing, they found a couple of the men tending a sick calf.

"What the matter with it?" Michael shouted.

"It can't get up and it's foaming at the mouth!" shouted one of the cowboys. "Its eyes are yellow and it's breathing's labored!"

Michael shouted back, "Take him out! I think I know what it is, and I don't want him infecting the rest of the herd!"

Michael got on his cell phone and called Jake. "Jake, we've got an infected calf out here by the north hill. Get a truck out here and haul it off. They're going to take him out now. And I want it burned."

Just then two shots rang out and the calf lay dead. Michael shouted, "Jake's bringing the truck! I want him burned down there in the dry ravine, away from the herd! And I want you to check over the herd very carefully to see if there are others that show these symptoms!"

As they rode off, Karl said, "That's something I've never gotten used to down here. Shooting sick animals. It turns my stomach."

"There's no other way, Karl. They can infect the whole herd. And then where would we be? Come on, Karl, we're pretty close to the Cottonwoods. Let's stop there and get some refreshment. The refrigerator is always stocked with cold drinks."

Tying their horses to the rail of the front porch, Michael and Karl went in and got themselves a couple of cans of Sprite. Back out on the front porch, they sat in rockers and looked out over the range.

Karl shifted in his chair and said, "I can tell I haven't been on a horse for a long time, my ass is really sore."

"You're sure it isn't the good fucking I gave you last night?" said Michael with a laugh.

"No, no! That part of my ass feels terrific. It's my ass cheeks that are sore. It feels just like my ass bones are poking right through the skin."

"I'll tell you what helps that," said Michael. "Whenever a cowhand comes in with a sore ass after a day of riding, they put ice packs on it. It takes the soreness right out. Come on inside and lay on your stomach on the bed, and I'll show you how good it works."

When they arrived in the bedroom, Michael said, "Now take down your pants like a good boy and lie down on the bed."

Michael put a handful of ice cubes in a zip-lock bag and sat on the edge of the bed. Looking down at Karl's little bare ass cheeks, he said, "Karl, those little cheeks are as pretty as they ever were, but I can see why they're sore. You've lost so much weight, there's hardly anything left of them. And they really are rosy pink. They just look sore."

Michael couldn't resist leaning over and kissing each cheek and running his tongue over them. He took hold of Karl's legs and spread them open a little, revealing Karl's large ball sack lying limply on the bed between his legs. Michael brought his tongue down through Karl's ass crack and over and around his balls.

Karl turned his head and said, "Damn it, Michael, are you going to put the ice on my ass or not?"

"Oh, I almost forgot, Karl. I got distracted."

Laying the icy plastic bag on Karl's ass cheeks made Karl jump. "Holy Christ! That's cold, Michael! What the hell are you doing?"

"Just lie still, my love, you'll get used to it."

After about ten minutes of being iced, Michael said, "How does your ass feel now?"

"I don't feel it at all. I think it's frozen!"

Karl rolled over on his back, with his very long hard penis bobbing up and down. "Come here, Michael, lie down here with me. And get rid of those pants. You're making me embarrassed lying here all exposed by myself."

Michael quickly stripped off all his clothes and pulled Karl's shirt off. Throwing himself on the bed next to Karl, Michael said, "You've never had anything to be embarrassed about. I could look at that naked body of yours till the cows come home. I know what! Let's go on outside and do it on the grass. I love to fuck outdoors."

As they stretched out on the grass, Karl said, "I'm not going to let you fuck me, Michael. I don't want anything touching my ass." Now out on the grass, Karl rolled Michael over on his back and lifted his legs up high. He ran his tongue over the soft hair on the backs of Michael's legs, and then down over his penis and balls. Getting into position, Karl pushed his gorged penis into Michael's hole. They smiled at each other with eyes full of love, and Michael ran his hands up and down over Karl's arms. Karl pumped in and out steadily, neither of them wanting it to end too soon.

They hadn't heard it, but without warning, Jake's truck with the dead calf on it came wheeling around from the other side of the house. Michael and Karl lay frozen with Karl's penis still inside of Michael's ass, Jake climbed out of the truck and walked over to them. Still without moving, Michael and Karl looked up at Jake like two puppies who had just got caught being naughty.

Jake stood over them with a big grin and said, "Well, lookee here! It warms the cock of my heart to see you two back in the saddle again!"

Michael said, "That's supposed to be 'cockles' of my heart, Jake. Anyway, what d'ya doing here?"

"I jist wanna know where ya want me to dump this fuckin' carcus."

"I told one of the guys back there to tell you to take it over at the dry ravine and burn it. Didn't he tell you?"

"Aw, they're a bunch of fuckin' dummies out there. You know that. He forgot what ya told him."

Michael, still on his back with his legs in the air and Karl's penis in his asshole, said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Get going! And, by the way, did you happen to notice that we're busy here?"

"Come on, Michael," said Jake. "Ya got me so hard lookin' at the two of ya." Jake opened up his pants and pulled out his long piece of meat. "Please, Michael, let an old man git his nuts off while he watches. T'ain't too often I git's to see two hot little spiders like you two fuckin' the shit outta each other."

As Jake let his pants drop to around his boots, he stared at Karl's hard penis as it started once again to piston in and out of Michael's ass. Michael found it erotic to watch Jake stroking his penis and began playing with his own hard rod. As both Michael and Karl watched gushers of thick white sperm pouring out of Jake's penis into the grass, their own orgasms grabbed hold of their bodies as they both shot their loads. Jake's orgasm was so powerful, his legs buckled and he went down on his knees.

As Karl leaned over and kissed Michael, Jake said, "Oh, fuck, man! That was the hottest goddamned thing I ever done. The sight of you two dudes gittin' it off sends my fuckin' balls into overdrive! Here I am, jist the Foreman here lookin' down on the two big-shot owners of this fuckin' ranch jist a fuckin' away like two horny coyotes. Goddamn, that's hot!"

When Karl rolled off, Michael sat up and said, "Okay, Jake. The show's over. Now get that calf outta here!" As Jake turned to leave, Michael said with a smile, "And by the way, Jake, you're pretty Goddamned hot yourself! Thanks!"

On Friday morning, Josiah and Brian stopped at Tom Borden's house. Tom had seen them drive up and waved to them. He kissed his wife, and she waved goodbye to them. Josiah sat in the back seat, allowing Tom to take the front passenger seat next to Brian as he drove.

"You have a very nice looking wife, Dr. Borden," said Brian, as they drove off. "Does she approve of your going off like this for the weekend?"

"Oh yes. She knows how hard I work, and she's never objected to my getting away for a few days now and then. I always try to remember how really lucky I am that way." Then turning to Brian, he asked, "What program are you in, Brian?"

"I'm a graduate student in the Veterinary Science program. I'm not sure, though, whether I want to run a dog and cat hospital or work in animal husbandry. I still have a couple of years to make up my mind. Josiah was thinking of going into that program, too, but after taking some required English and literature courses, he realized that literature and writing was for him."

Tom said, "Well, I think Josiah has made a good choice as far as his academic major is concerned. He is one of the most talented young men I've ever had in a class."

Brian turned his head and looked around at Josiah with a loving smile and put his hand on Josiah's that was resting on the back of the front seat. "Yes, Josiah is very talented. I love to read his short stories."

Brian's loving smile and the touch of his hand on Josiah's hand was not lost on Tom. He asked, "How long have you two known each other?"

Brian said, "Oh, for maybe two or three years, isn't it, Josiah?. We met when I was working one summer down on the Walker Ranch."

Josiah leaned back in his seat and looked at Tom. He wondered if Tom had now picked up on the fact that he and Brian were partners . . . that they were lovers. And he wondered that, if knowing that, Tom was bothered by it. Tom had never given any indication . . . at least that Josiah could discern . . . that he was in the least sympathetic to homosexuals. But Josiah noted that, if Tom knew about him and Brian, he gave no indication that it mattered.

When they arrived at the Ranch, Michael was sitting on the back verandah waiting for them. He rushed over to the car. He said, "Tom Borden! I'm so glad you could come down with the boys. I've really been looking forward to seeing you again!"

When Tom got out of the car, he and Michael looked at each other for a moment, and then flew into each other's arms with a very tight hug. When they drew apart, Michael said, "How many years has it been? You've hardly changed!"

"Don't give me that, Michael. I know better. But I can honestly say you look more handsome than ever!"

As the two of them walked into the house with their arms around each other's waist, Josiah and Brian followed. They looked at each other with wonder on their faces. Are these two old buddies just glad to see each other? Or is there something more we don't know?"

They all sat around the kitchen table and drank coffee and ate some oatmeal cookies that Tony had just taken from the oven. Tom said, "I remember this old table. When we were kids, we used to sit here and play cards for hours. That is, when we weren't out raising hell."

Josiah and Brian enjoyed listening to Michael and Tom reminiscing, but soon excused themselves. They wanted to go and find Enrique and Noah and to see if they wanted to shoot a few baskets.

Michael said, "Tony, Tom and I are going to take our coffee out on the front verandah. Can we take a few more of those cookies?"

Tony piled the dish high with more cookies just out of the oven. As Michael and Tom sat down on the verandah, Michael took hold of Tom's hand and looked at him, shaking his head. "I can't believe it. After all these years! Your family still owns and runs the Borden ranch just down the road. Why haven't we gotten together before this?"

"Well, Michael," said Tom, "when we got out of high school, we both went away to different colleges and I had heard that you had taken a job in another town and had gotten married. When I'd go home for a visit, I never thought of coming over here to visit since . . . and I have to be honest with you . . . Ol' Ben was not one of my favorite people."

Michael laughed. "You weren't alone, Tom. He finally died, and I inherited the ranch."

"How about Jared, your brother?"

"Oh, Tom. That's a long story. I'll tell you about that sometime. Oh, by the way. Do you remember Caleb, our friend we used to fuck around with?

"Yes, I do. What ever happened to him?"

"Well, I got reacquainted with him, too, a while back. He also got married, but he's divorced now, as I am. In fact, his seventeen-year-old son is now living with another seventeen year old who was born and raised here on the ranch. That's another long story. How about yourself, Tom?"

"I'm married, too, Michael. And I have two beautiful sons. I'll tell you about them sometime. It looks like you and I have a lot to talk about. Do you have any kids?"

"I have one son. His name is Jeff and he's up at the U. of Texas in Austin. He and I are very close. But he has a lover, too. His name is Paul. I might as well tell you, Tom, that I also have a lover, who is an equal partner with me in the ownership of this ranch. He's a gorgeous Englishman, who I want you to meet sometime. Tell me, Tom. How did it happen that you and I are sitting here together after all this time?"

Tom said, "Josiah is one of my students. He is the most talented student I have ever had. But on top of that, I have to admit to you, that I am wildly attracted to him. I know it's useless since I found out that he has a lover, plus the fact that I have a family, which prevents me from being able to commit to anybody. Michael, I love Josiah desperately. He doesn't know that and, under the circumstances, I don't want him to know. But we've become good friends and he invited me to come down here with him this weekend. Until he told me, I had no idea you were here running the ranch."

Michael stood up and said, "Tom, come on into my office where we can talk more privately."

When they entered Michael's room, Michael took Tom in his arms and they kissed deeply. He said, "Remember, Tom, when you and I and Caleb first started jerking off together after school? Then we would kiss like this and we swore to one another that the three of us would always be together and we would never be parted for the rest of our lives? Well, those were silly childhood vows. But, you know, the three of us now can be back together. Not really like we had planned it. But we can still be back together. You have a family, and both Caleb and I have partners who we love. But we can still get together again."

Tom broke away from Michael's hug and sat down on the edge of the bed. "But it can never be the same. My commitment is to my sons . . . to my family. I'm wracked with a torturous secret love for Josiah. And you and Caleb, as you said, are committed to others. It can never be the same."

Michael sat down next to Tom and put his arms around him. "Tom, have you considered telling Josiah how you feel about him?"

"No. I'm sure he doesn't know about me. He looks up to me and respects me only as his teacher and mentor. It would ruin everything if I told him how much I really loved him. I just lie in bed every night and masturbate with fantasies of Josiah swimming in my head. I can't tell you how many times I have cried myself to sleep. I'm killing myself over this."

Michael said, "Tom, you don't have to keep up the charade. You're just living a lie. This is something you have to talk with Josiah about. Josiah is one of the gentlest young men I have ever known. He's not going to turn against you. It may not turn out the way you want it to, but you said yourself, you can't make any commitments to anyone so long as you're married. But I guarantee you that Josiah will understand and he'll respect your honesty. I know Josiah. He will never end his friendship with you over your being honest with him. Josiah is an emotional young man and he has come to understand a lot about love and compassion and the longings of the human heart. And he understands about the need for love. You can't go on living this lie with him, Tom. You be truthful with him, and he'll be truthful with you. But I promise you, he will never abandon his friendship with you nor his deep admiration of you."

Tom looked at Michael with tears in his eyes. "I might have known, Michael, that you know the right path to take. You were always the wise one. Always the leader, even when we were snot-nosed kids. I guess it's just fate that you're here with me now, showing me the way, as you always did."

Michael gave Tom a handkerchief. "Here, Tom, dry your tears. If you don't watch out, you'll have me in tears, too. I understand about love and commitment, and I'm no stranger to plenty of hurt and disappointment in my life."

Since Tom was an honored guest, Michael requested that supper be served in the dining room that day, rather than in the kitchen. Michael could tell that Tom was nervous sitting next to Josiah, probably because of his emotional admission that afternoon to Michael of his love for the boy. When the meal was over, Michael called Brian aside.

"Brian," Michael said, "I think that Tom wants to talk with Josiah privately a little while this evening. It's nothing serious. Perhaps you could leave them alone for a little while?"

"Sure," said Brian. "Whatever you say, Michael. I want to talk with Jake a little bit about his experience with cattle diseases, anyway. I think I'll just go on over there to his room and see if he's in."

"Thanks, Brian," said Michael. "As I said, it's nothing serious. Tom just wants to talk with him about something."

Everyone had left the table, except Tom and Josiah. Michael said, "Hey, why don't you two take your coffee and go on out to the front verandah for awhile. It's a nice cool night with a really nice breeze. Now, go on."

Josiah always liked to be alone with Tom. Tom was always so nice and attentive and appreciative of Josiah's efforts.

When they were settled in their chairs, Tom said, "Yes, it is a beautiful evening tonight. I'm so glad you asked me to come down here with you, Josiah. It's been nice to get re-acquainted with Michael."

"I'm really glad about that, Tom," responded Josiah.

After an awkward silence, Tom said, "I've wanted to talk with you about something, Josiah. I know that you admire truthfulness in people. Michael assured me of that. I know that you have a partner, Brian, who you love very much."

Josiah was relieved to know that Tom was, in fact, aware of his love for Brian. "I'm glad you know about that. Yes, we do love each other very much."

"Now, Josiah, I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to be kind of hard for me to say it. First I want you to know how much I admire your work and how much I value our friendship. You're very special to me. Josiah . . . I'm just like you. I mean, I know I'm a married father, but I'm just like you."

Tom stopped and sighed and took a sip of his coffee. Josiah said, "Tom, what's the matter? You seem so nervous." Josiah reached over and took both of Tom's hands in his. "What's the matter?"

With Josiah holding onto his hands, it somehow seemed much easier for Tom to say what he wanted to say. "Josiah, just like you, I'm attracted to men, too . . . I mean, also. Now I know you might get very upset with me, but I want to tell you . . . I mean . . . I should tell you that, I am very attracted to you. I know you'll hate me for that. And I know you'll be disappointed in me."

Josiah held onto Tom's hands tightly. Looking into Tom's eyes, Josiah said with a very sweet smile, "I'm attracted to you, too."

Suddenly emboldened, Tom blurted out, "I love you, Josiah. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life."

Josiah could feel Tom's hands shaking. He wanted to say something. He knew that he should say something in response to Tom's admission. Tom looked away, waiting tensely for Josiah's reaction. When Josiah didn't speak, Tom said, "Michael told me I should tell you. Maybe I shouldn't have. There's nothing that can come of it. I'm sorry, Josiah."

Josiah got up and knelt down next to Tom. He said softly, "Tom, may I kiss you?"

As Tom turned to look at the boy he loved so much, Josiah took Tom's head between his hands and kissed him gently on the lips. As tears filled Tom's eyes, he said, "You don't hate me, Josiah?"

Josiah said, "I'm glad I know. No one can understand how you feel better than I. And I wanted you to know about me, even though I wasn't sure about you. We're brothers under the skin, Tom. We've been honest with each other, and I feel closer to you now than I ever had, if that's possible."

Tom said, "You must think I'm terrible. Here I am, your teacher, someone you're supposed to look up to and respect. And here I am sobbing on your shoulder like a baby."

As Josiah took Tom into his arms, he said, "Cry all you want, dear Tom. You've opened your heart and soul to me, and I love you for that."

"But nothing can ever come of it, Josiah," said Tom. "I know that. At least, I don't have to pretend anymore. I don't have to constantly struggle to keep my feelings secret from you. I guess you've seen now that a teacher has human feelings and longings like anyone else. And I don't mind at all stepping down off the pedestal."

"And I don't have to hide my feelings from you, either, Tom."

Tom said, "Maybe you shouldn't tell Brian. There's no point in hurting him when there's no reason to."

"Of course I'm going to tell Brian," said Josiah. "We have no secrets from each other. There is nothing about me that he doesn't know. We have always trusted each other to be honest with each other. It would tear me apart to know that I am keeping something like this from him."

"But what awful things will he think about me?" said Tom.

"You don't know Brian. He'll understand when I tell him how you and I feel about each other."

Tom hesitated, and then said, "How DO you feel about me, Josiah."

"I love you more than ever, Tom. We have a bond of honesty and truthfulness between us now. I know now that I can go into your office and take your face in my hands and kiss you good morning every day, and . . . ."

"And what, Josiah? And what then?"

"Please, Tom. I understand you so much better now. But you've got to understand me, too. I can never do anything that would break the loving trust that Brian and I have with each other."

Tom wiped his eyes with his hand and smiled gently. "I do understand, Josiah. I understand the kind of love you and I will have with each other. It will be as strong as what you and Brian have, but I realize it will be different. Every night of my life, you dominate my fantasies. I have your dear, sweet body close to mine and we consummate our love physically every night. And now that you know that I think of you in that way, and you're not disgusted, I'm content."

Josiah got up and, going over to the edge of the verandah, sat down and dangled his legs over the side. "Come over here, Tom. Please. Sit down next to me."

As Tom went over and sat next to Josiah, they put their arms around each other and kissed deeply. Tom had an overpowering urge to tear Josiah's clothes off and take the boy in every way possible. But Tom was a reasonable person and realized that the relationship he now had with Josiah was indeed a beautiful one. They loved each other now in a way that Tom had never thought possible. To be able to touch Josiah's skin, to smell its gentle odor, and to feel Josiah's breath on his cheek and neck from time to time would be like a gift from God.

Tom was given Jared's old room for the night. After taking his shower and brushing his teeth, he stood naked in front of the full-length mirror. He thought to himself that it would be wonderful if Josiah could see his body in all its nakedness and make love to it. But he would be content with feeling the softness of Josiah's lips on his and the fact that Josiah now knew of the love he had for him. It had always been the same. Throughout his years of marriage, he had fallen in love a few times. But he had always been faithful to his marriage vows. Every love he ever had was always just a fantasy.

Tom lay stretched out on the bed and wondered how Josiah would tell Brian, and what Brian's reaction would be. He, too, would tell his own older brother, Terry, about his love for Josiah. Terry was also married with two sons of his own. They would talk about the men they loved and would lie in each other's arms and cry over the hopelessness of it all. Thank God for brother Terry. As he did every night, Tom began to stroke his hard penis, imagining that Josiah was there with him, holding him and loving him. The image of Josiah pushed deep inside of him brought him to orgasm quickly. He lay there with his cum lying in pools on his belly. Reaching down he took some on his fingers and sucked them dry, imagining that it was Josiah's creamy sperm. Soon, Tom drifted off to sleep with the words, "I love you, Josiah" on his lips.

To be continued...


Posted: 10/17/08