Coach Assistant

By: Tim
(© 2015-2016 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 56   

[as told by Francis]

I don’t know for sure but it felt like Nick had fallen asleep.  I was really happy that, at last, he’d touched me again.  I was afraid he’d have told me to get out of the sauna when I walked in naked.  I know that my dick got hard when I saw Nick looking at it.  I tried to think of other things, but he being so close by and the time it’d been since we’d last made out were just too much for my dick to not respond to the situation.

Feeling his head on my shoulder made me shiver.  I wanted to touch him, to let him know I loved him, to cradle him, to comfort him.  But I knew that touching him was precisely the wrong thing to do. I had enjoyed the visit to the shrink and our talk afterwards.  It was almost like we were back on track again, just like last time.  I knew he needed time but he’d tried and he wanted to talk about it.

But what had happened that afternoon had totally shocked me.  I couldn’t have foreseen Nick’s violent reaction.  He was totally non-violent and hated fights at school. I still had a lot of questions, all the more after Randy and then Peter and Andrew had gone up to Nick’s room.  Now Randy … I think I could understand … but why Peter and Andrew had gone up was something very strange.  I asked them what was happening when they came downstairs but they ignored my question completely.  That just made me more convinced that somehow they’d played a role in it as well.

Brian got me away from there at some point and we talked … well, most of the time, he talked and I listened.  Well, to some extent, as I was now lost.  I got the impression he knew more as well and, when he didn’t even answer me, I lost it.  I shouted a lot and even threw him to the ground.  We tussled a bit, but not a lot.  When he got over the surprise of my response, I was no match for him and was easily overcome.

He’d smiled and told me that at least it was a reaction of some kind and that he was happy he was there to get punished.  He also invited me to come over any time I needed to blow off some steam as it was better for me to do that with him than with Nick.  I didn’t exactly understand then what he’d said but, later that night, I realized he was right: I needed to be there for Nick.  As long Nick couldn’t answer the questions that I had, it’d be difficult and the last thing that I needed to do was to lose my temper when he was around.  He didn’t need that; he needed comfort and trust.

I’d been thinking about that all night and, when I learned that Keith would visit the next morning to talk with Nick, I decided I needed some professional help to cope with this.  Together with Nick’s dad I made an appointment with the shrink for that morning.  He had 30 minutes in between appointments but could fit me in as he felt it was important.

Together we had looked at my responses and he gave me some advice on how to handle Nick and what kind of responses I might expect from him.  He told me that this was something that was going to need a lot more time than it’d taken the last time as now Nick was a step beyond where he’d been the last time.  Nick would need to trust me again and feel safe ... things that he used to know but would find difficult to do after what had happened.

The walk back had calmed me down a lot.  I’d had a phone call with Brian, who suggested that it’d be a good idea for us to spend the afternoon at their gym/sauna/swimming pool.  He offered to stay around but I told him that it’d be better for Nick and I to be together.  Fortunately, Alexei was coming, too, for I knew there was a very strong bond of trust between Nick and Alexei.  If there were anyone who could help Nick … or, even better, from whom Nick would take advice … it was Alexei.

I looked at the clock and saw that we’d been in the doctor’s office for about 20 minutes.  By the time I got home, I was sweating heavily and I could smell Nick as well, so I knew he was hot too. I took a deep sniff, enjoying his scent, inhaling and analyzing every bit of it.  I moved a bit and I saw him open his eyes.

“Time to get up, Nick.”

“Hmmm … OK … you go first; I’ll follow shortly.”

I looked at him.  I realized he didn’t want to shower together, so I got up and walked out.

“Don’t stay in too long,” he said as I shut the door.

I walked into the shower and ran the cold stream on me.  I needed to cool down for sure, so I stood there longer than I’d planned.  At some point I started to get used to the cold water.  I didn’t realize how long I’d been in the shower when I suddenly heard a scream.  I got out of the shower and ran into the lounge.  Nick was lying on a chaise; he seemed to still be asleep.  He looked horrified and had his hands placed in front of his crotch, holding his genitals carefully.  Another cry left his lips.  I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to wake him up.  Alexei walked in and looked at me.

“Shall I wake him up?” I whispered.

“Is he doing this in his dreams?” Alexei asked.

I nodded.

“You’d better do it, then.”

I sat down on the ground beside Nick.  I slowly touched his shoulder.  At the same time he let out another cry and his eyes shot open.  When he saw me, his expression became less horrified but he turned away quickly and started to cry, at first softly but then more and more loudly.

I looked at Alexei again.  He nodded at me and moved over to the other side of the chaise and sat down.

“Nick,” he said quietly.  “It’s OK, you’re safe.”

There was slight gesture from Nick, telling us that he’d heard Alexei.

He kept crying but now looked at the both of us.  I’m not sure what he was trying to decide, but he bent over a bit more towards Alexei and rested his head on his chest.  An apologizing gaze appeared on Alexei’s face.  I just nodded, realizing that my comfort would have been threatening.  I walked away to get a drink for the three of us.  We needed something stronger than just orange juice.  I got some of Nick’s favorite whisky. Yea, we drank at home at special occasions sometimes, so I knew he liked it.  He looked at me as I offered it to him.  A small smile returned to his face.

“You want me to get drunk, Francis?” he said.

I didn’t know how to respond.  Was he serious or just making a joke?  I was ready to walk away when a bigger smile appeared on his face.

“Got you,” he said.

I smiled back and sat beside him on the ground again.  He shifted positions, resting his head on my chest.  He whispered, “Sorry, Francis, that I scared you.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant … the joke or the dreams he had had.

“Shhhh, no apology needed, Nick,” I whispered and added, “I love you.”

He didn’t respond to that, but I saw a smile on his face.  He’d stopped crying now but was still resting on my shoulder.

“Can we move a bit?  This is a bit uncomfortable.”

“Oh!”  He looked up and whispered, “You don’t want to cuddle?”

“Let’s get on the blankets near the swimming pool,” I said, pointing at a few blankets and cushions that were lying at a corner of the swimming pool.

We got up and walked towards it.  Alexei stayed behind and went back upstairs.  After he’d left, Nick gave me two thumbs up and turned around.

We laid down and again he put his head on my chest.  I’m not sure but I thought I heard him whisper, “So tired, so tired ….”  Then I heard the reassuring sounds that indicated that he was sleeping again.

I tried to get as comfortable as I could, as I knew that it could be some time before he’d wake up.  I looked at him and tried to be as quiet as I could but, at the same time, convey all the love I had in me to him, hoping that he’d have a restful sleep.

I’m not sure that that worked.  I knew I’d dozed off when I suddenly felt something shaking on my chest.  I opened my eyes and saw that he was shivering a bit.  I looked at him and saw that his hands were in front of his genitals again.  I was waiting for a cry again as I knew he was dreaming again.  I wasn’t sure what to do.

I waited for the cry to come but it didn’t.  He stopped shaking at some point but started later again.  I moved bit as I needed to change positions and that made him to stop shaking again.  I thought he’d wake up now but he didn’t.  He got comfortable again as he shifted positions, putting one of his arms over my leg.

He moved it slowly over my leg until it came to a stop.  My reaction was immediate hardness.  I blushed and was glad he was still asleep.

A bit more relaxed now that he was sleeping, I started to realize that this is what he had to go through each time he slept.  Had he been sleeping at all or had he been afraid to sleep and was that the reason he was so tired at the moment?  I decided I would try to keep an eye on him a bit more.  I’d just have to witness again what these experiences were doing to him.  So far, I’d felt that he’d been trying to keep his distance from me, something that had hurt me more than I could imagine … but I’d come to grips with that.  There was more that he was trying to deal with, and he was struggling.  I felt completely helpless.

I thought back to the conversation with the shrink that morning.  He’d told me that there was little that I could do.  My job, he said, was just being there for Nick when he needed me; it was up to him to deal with his demons.

After some time I must have dozed off again as I was awoken by some voices.  I opened my eyes and saw that both Brian and Alexei were watching us.  I looked at Nick who’d gotten even more comfortable, it seems, as he was now holding more than just my legs.  Happily for me he didn’t squeeze it but he just held it.  When I looked up at Brian and Alexei, they smiled at me.  I laughed back.  Brian walked closer bye and whispered, “Not the most comfortable position to be in.”

“Hmmm, no, not particularly,” I replied.

“Shall we wake him up?”

I looked at them and then at Nick.  Hmmm, I was sure he didn’t want to see anyone and I don’t think the position he was in would make him feel very comfortable at all.

“Hmmm, I might but you’d better leave, Brian.  I don’t think that it’d be a good idea to wake him up like this with you two around.”

Brian wanted to say something but was pushed away by Alexei.  “Good idea,” he whispered and then added, “But you both look so cute asleep.”

I gave them a smile and they left the room.

Hmmm, now, I thought, what to do?  I looked over at Nick again; he was still asleep.  His hand was completely around my dick.  If I moved, he’d probably wake up but there was no way I could get his hand away from me without him realizing what had happened.

Then I realized where his other hand was.  I thought he’d just been keeping it in front of his dick like before, but it wasn’t.  It was definitely holding his own cock just as his was holding mine.

The last thing that I wanted to do was wake him up and make him feel embarrassed.  That was just the thing that he didn’t need.  I tried to think of an option but I wasn’t sure that I could find one.  Then I felt him shift a bit and I looked at him.  Oh, no!  I thought he was moving his own fist, at first slowly and deliberately, then, gradually, faster.  Damn!  He was now moving his own hand on mine, too.  This was quickly becoming very embarrassing.  I couldn’t do this to him; there was no way I could wake him now.

His humping picked up in speed and I knew he was close.  I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on something other than what he was doing.  There was no way that I wanted to cum … that would be even worse, I thought.

I waited to see what would happen.  I looked to see if Brian and Alexei had gone for real, but they had, so that at least was something.  I looked at Nick again … I’d seen him cum before, watching his face, but he’d always had a nice smile on his face when he did … but now, I wasn’t sure … but I don’t think he was having any fun.  His JO became more fierce, full of intensity … and just when I thought he’d come, he stopped.  His hand laid on his crotch again; his expression changed completely to one of pain.  His other hand had stopped and was just holding my dick.  For some reason, he’d taken a good hold of it, not trying to hurt it but more like he was protecting it.

I waited a moment, expecting a scream any moment.  I considered my options again.  His face relaxed a bit more and I tried to make him realize he was safe in my arms.  I have no idea if that helped, but he slowly let go of my dick again and, for some reason, his face became more peaceful again.

I don’t think that I was prepared for this …but it slowly started to sink in more and more how deeply Nick had been hurt,  My Nick!  I knew that Mike and the doctors had been responsible for it, but so far I had no clear idea what had happened.  Whatever it has been, it must have been worse than I ever could have imagined!  No wonder Nick was tired if every bit of his sleep was tortured with dreams like this!

When that had sunk in, I felt a mixture of emotions … hurt, anger, compassion and the need to protect Nick came all in me up.  I think that it was good that I couldn’t move as I’m not sure what I would have done otherwise.  I looked at Nick again and saw that he had a gentle smile on his face, so whatever it was that had disturbed him was gone now.

I must have fallen asleep again as I was awoken by the doorbell.  I opened my eyes slowly and looked around me.  I became aware that Nick was still holding my dick.  It had gone down a bit so it was still embarrassing … but not any worse than before.

When the doorbell rang another time I felt Nick begin to stir.  No one was around yet but I could hear either Brian or Alexei come downstairs to, I guess, answer the door.

I looked at Nick and saw him open his eyes.

“Hi, Francis,” he said.

“Time to wake up, I guess, Nick.”

“Yea, seems so.”  He looked at me.  “But I feel good lying like this,” he added.

I don’t think he knew where his hand was but, when he said that last sentence, I wanted to hold him …  to cuddle him … to protect him from the cruel world.  But I couldn’t let him know that I had been a witness to his dream.  My dick, on the other hand, gave another response to his words as it started to get hard slowly.

I tried to concentrate on other things but I was sure he’d feel it now.  I looked a bit uncertainly at him and suddenly he blushed and took his hand away.

“Sorry, Francis,” he said softly, turning his face away.

“No problem, Nick,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“Oh, well, you don’t deserve being handled like that,” he said.

“It’s OK … don’t worry, Nick.  It’s OK, really,” I repeated.

He looked at me again and, still embarrassed, he looked at me.

“It’s OK, Nick … don’t worry.  You wanna get up?”

“Yea, you must be uncomfortable in that position,” he said quietly.

He got up and looked around.  We heard the door close.

“Are you guys awake?” Brain called from the hallway.

“Yea,” I said.

He came walking in.  “We though you would … Alexei is in the kitchen making some snacks and getting some drinks.”

“Nice,” I said.

I saw Nick start to walk away slowly … he turned and said, “I’ll give him a hand.”  His voice went quiet as he spoke the last word and he turned completely red.

“OK, can you get me a glass of iced tea?” I asked, trying to ignore what he’d just said.

He walked away.  Brian came closer.

“What was that about, Francis?” he asked.

“You saw us, I presume?” I asked.

“Well, let’s say I checked you about half an hour ago to see if you were OK.  I found you sleeping so ….”

“Oh!”  Now it was my turn to blush.

“But I didn’t take any pictures!”

I was silent for a moment.  My mind went over it all again, what had happened.  I think that Brian must have seen my face change when all my earlier emotions came back.

“You know my offer is still open … when you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

“I know, Brian.  It’s just … well … kind of embarrassing.”

“Oh, I’ve heard a lot, Francis.”

“Maybe … I’ll probably need to talk about it at some point … but for now, I need to let it sink in first or I’ll get completely upset and the last thing I want is for Nick to find out something is wrong.”

“Yea, that’s wise.”

“But to give you an idea … I witnessed a full dream that was not pleasant for him … but it didn’t end like the ones before … as he didn’t wake up screaming … but I guess I saw or realized that I can’t really imagine what he’d gone through.”

“Oh, well … he might have them for quite some time.  Just be there for him … and maybe it helped that you were close by.”

“Yea … but still, I feel anger and a lot more at the moment.  But most of all, I want to stay around him, keep him close by so no one can hurt him.  I’ve been sitting outside his bedroom a few times as I was afraid that someone would enter there and hurt him.  Nick’s dad found me and sent me to bed.  But now, after this, I don’t think I’ll be able to leave him on his own any more without worrying … or even making sure that, somehow, he’s OK.”

“You’ll be OK Francis … you’re a great guy and you’re just feeling what anyone would feel for his boyfriend.  You love him and he loves you … just make sure he knows it.”

“Hmmm, yea … I know … but still ….”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Francis”  As he said that, he came close by and held his arms out.  I stood up and hugged him.

When I looked up, I saw Nick enter and, although I could see him make a face first, I saw a smile appear on his face, too.  I wanted to get away from Brian … but he held me a moment too long and then he let me go.  I tried to get away as fast as I could … when Brian saw Nick, he smiled and said, “There is the food.”

The rest of the evening went by more or less normally.  We chatted a bit with Alexei and Brian, and Nick behaved reasonable normally.  I knew he was dealing with a lot and I just wanted him to trust me and make me part of it so I could help him.

Well that is it for now more again soon.

To be continued...

Posted: 08/19/16