Chapter 8 

 

Eric parked at the curb right in front of the old apartment block where Nick lived. He had never been to Nick’s home before but the directions Nick had given him made the street and apartment simple to find. He looked out through the car window at the sidewalk, which Nick had cautioned him to be aware of when he arrived. Quite a sizable piece of one of the slabs was broken into shards while what surrounded them was a mass of dust that was no longer recognizable as concrete. He shook his head as he remembered Nick telling him it had broken beneath him, causing him to fall and knock himself out against the massive tree. He turned and looked at the tree. “It must be pretty damned old,” he thought. Not only was it tall with a thick trunk but also as he looked down, the huge roots were only semi submerged beneath the earth. Eric assumed they were the cause of the degrading sidewalk.

 

As he walked from the car, Eric wondered if Nick was home from work yet. When he called him, Eric had forgotten that he was on vacation, while everyone else was still required to keep Detroit’s economy and industry going. It was obvious to Eric that Nick had been very curious to receive such an enigmatic call from him. Still, Nick had finally accepted that he wanted to talk to him about something important and privately. He suggested to Nick that he thought it would be better in person and face-to-face. Nick agreed to let Eric come to see him at home after work but he told him not to arrive before four thirty.

 

The closer Eric came to arriving, the more he began to feel uncertain about how exactly he was going to broach the subject. It was not as if he could just blurt out, “Hey Nick, Jack is accusing you behind your back of being gay and a cock sucking rapist.” It was not an easy thing to say to someone and so he had been rehearsing different lines in the car as he drove. However, as he stood outside Nick’s door waiting for it to open, he was uncomfortable with the prospect of saying something difficult to someone he liked. As a consequence of his apprehension, he felt unsettled and every possible alternative his mind had made available during his drive over, evaporated from his consciousness and ceased to exist.

 

Eric had heard the door to the building open behind him as he reached the first floor. He could hear someone following him up the stairs but as he looked back to see who was there, before the person came into his line of sight, he heard the latch on Nick’s front door turn and he looked back to see the door open.

 

“Hey Eric, come on in,” Nick said as he drew back the door. “It’s good to see you, come in and make yourself at home,” he continued with honest sincerity, as he gave him the standard and friendly, male hug and shoulder tap.

 

“Thanks Nick,” Eric said and stepped farther inside the apartment.

 

Eric glanced at the cut above Nick’s left eye and he saw a cut on his cheek and a bruise on his chin. It was suddenly looking like what Jack had said was true.

 

“Sit down. Would you like a drink? I was just making myself a coffee when you knocked on the door.”

 

“Thanks Nick, I’d love one,” he replied and he felt a little easier with the way Nick made him feel so welcome. He crossed the room and sat in a single seat lounge and made himself comfortable while he waited.

 

From the moment Nick walked into his kitchen, though he was still extremely curious about Eric’s call and request to come and see him, he also could not help but notice how excited he was from having Eric in his home. The man was not just a fantasy of exceptional proportions; he was also an ultimate desire of hotness and niceness in a single package. The simple hug at the door with Eric, a man who could drive him wild with sexual imaginings, was more than enough to heat Nick’s blood. However, he consciously took stock of his feelings and thoughts. He took a deep breath and then called out to Eric in a friendly manner, “How much of a heart stopper was the game on Saturday?”

 

“Shit, Nick, I still can’t believe you held that ball with the tips of your fingers long enough to drag it down to the ground. I also couldn’t believe the way you propelled yourself off the ground to do it. Heart stopper? Man, I almost shit myself, buddy,” Eric replied with a laugh and he heard Nick laughing also.

 

Nick called out, referring to the coffee, “How do you take it?”

 

Eric’s eyes widened for a second, as his one tracked mind went instantly to sex. A moment later, he quickly caught on and replied, “White with two, thanks.”

 

Eric glanced around the room as he continued to wait for Nick. His first thought was that the room needed a couple of coats of paint on the walls but then as he really took in the surrounding living space, he became very aware of the minimal furnishings and the lack of any real effort to make the apartment look like a home. There was no continuity. Mishmash was the only descriptive word Eric could think of but somehow the room did not gel with the expected opinion he held and imagined of Nick. It looked like Nick had decided he needed something and bought the first thing he could find. A table here, a cupboard there but none of it seemed to go together. Eric was not quite sure what he had expected but it definitely was not what he was seeing.

 

Nick asked as he walked in and put the coffees on the coffee table and then sat on the couch opposite Eric, “How’s Michelle?”

 

Eric’s eyes revealed his surprise when he heard the question. “Yeah, she’s great and she asked me to say hello to you,” he answered, sounding just as surprised.

 

Nick said, “Well you make sure you return the greeting for me but tell me, why the look of surprise?”

 

“I was just a little shocked that you remembered her name. You only met her once and that was nearly three years ago,” Eric explained.

 

“It’s not so strange, Eric. I liked her and I always remember memorable people. We didn’t talk for an extended period of time but during the short conversation we had, I thought Michelle was a really nice and considerate woman. She seemed quite intelligent and she could certainly make me laugh. Actually, it was three years exactly this past week, which means you guys will be celebrating your third anniversary next Sunday.”

 

Eric asked, this time with a shocked look on his face, “How the fuck did you know about or remember that so specifically?”

 

“Well, I’ve always liked you and thought you were a really great guy. Then I met your girlfriend the day of the first final we won and I really liked her as well. After that game in the locker room, I overheard Blake mention to Mark that you guys were getting married on the first of the following month. This year the first falls next Sunday. I always think to get you something or even just a card but I didn’t want to impose my presence into your lives or make you feel some sort of fucked-up obligation to contact me or invite me over,” Nick explained.

 

“Nick? Man that’s just ridiculous. Michelle and I both really like you and we’d love to spend some time with you. It’s just that you keep to yourself and don’t seem to want to interact with anyone from the team. Most of the guys don’t understand why you didn’t come to celebrate winning the final on either occasion, particularly when you were pivotal to the win on both occasions. I admit some of them think you’re a little strange but Michelle and I think you’re just a private guy who lives his own life in his own way. In fact, we often talk about inviting you over but then we think that we may make you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do. Eventually we always choose not to bother you.”

 

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Eric. It’s just that you’re right, I am a private type of guy and um, ah…”

 

“Nick, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself or justify your lifestyle to me or to anyone else. It’s nobody’s business but your own, something that Michelle reminded me when she asked me to ring you and come and see you.”

 

Now completely mystified as to what this visit could be about, Nick asked, “Michelle? I thought that this was about the team? What does Michelle have to do with it?”

 

Eric’s face dropped, giving away to some degree that whatever he had to say was not a good thing. He looked down at the floor and subtly shook his head and then he looked back up at Nick’s face. As he tried to decide how to begin, he once again noticed the gash above Nick’s eye.

 

Nick was looking back uncomfortably. He began to realize that whatever Eric wanted to talk to him about, it was not just bad, it was also about him. His face filled with tension and even for the few seconds of silence, Nick was becoming impatient.

 

“Eric, it’s obvious to me right now that what you want to say is about me and that it isn’t something good. Obviously it’s hard for you to say whatever it is but if you’ve been chosen as the spokesperson by the team then please just spit it out.”

 

“No, Nick, you’ve got it wrong. No one knows I’m here except for Michelle and as I said, it was her idea. Look, if you’d indulge me and if it isn’t too private a matter, could you answer me one question with complete honesty?”

 

“I can try,” Nick said.

 

“I give you my word, Nick, whatever the answer is, I will hold it in the strictest of confidence, if need be.”

 

“I appreciate that Eric but please get on with it,” Nick pushed.

 

“Nick, can you tell me what happened to your face?”

 

Nick’s eyes opened wider as he wondered what his cuts and bruises could have to do with anything. Still, he could see the tension on Eric’s face and he knew that whatever this was about, it was far from easy for him to talk about. Nick thought that one thing could have nothing to do with the other and so with a cautious approach, he decided to answer honestly.

 

“Eric, I know what you said but you really have to promise me this will go no further?”

 

“You have my word, Nick. I swear to you,” Eric replied.

 

“Okay. I’ve been doing something for the last three years to make some extra money because I wanted to buy a new car. What I’ve been doing isn’t legal because it involves unsanctioned gambling. That’s the reason you can’t tell anyone. I’ve been street fighting and the guy I fought on Saturday night got a few jabs in when he shouldn’t have,” Nick explained.

 

Eric looked at Nick in absolute shock. Nick lifted his shirt arbitrarily, showing the additional two-day-old bruise to his side and stomach. There was absolutely nothing unusual to him about having cuts and bruises or how he had come to have them. However, as he looked at Eric and saw the expression on his face, he realized it was not the same for everyone. Nick had not considered how the street lifestyle he had grown up with as a standard feature, could be considered as out of the ordinary or even shocking.

 

Nick asked, “What’s wrong?”

 

Tentatively, Eric said, “Do you mean fighting like in action movies, with no gloves or rules?”

 

The question made Nick think about how different his current street fights were to the ones he had been involved in when he was younger. These days it was somewhat subdued.

 

“Yeah, I mean no, I mean it’s skin on skin but it’s clean fighting and there are definitely rules. Fists only. We don’t wear boxing gloves if that’s what you mean. There’s no mixing of styles like kickboxing, martial arts or wrestling and there’s also no bullshit like biting, corking or knees to the balls. It’s all about the fists and the body. Other than that it’s unrestricted.”

 

Eric said in disbelief, “Jesus Christ! Fuck, I mean I guess I knew it happened but I never thought I would meet or know someone that actually did it. Does this happen right here in Detroit?”

 

“Yeah,” Nick said.

 

“Fuck! I knew you were a fucking badass on the field but I didn’t realize it extended out into other parts of your life,” Eric said, still somewhat shocked.

 

“It’s nothing in comparison to what I grew up with,” Nick said dismissively but he did not see the curious look on Eric’s face in response.

 

Not grasping if he had heard correctly or how that could even be possible, both the curiosity and shock on his face became more extreme and Eric said, “What? How could that be possible?”

 

As Nick looked at Eric, he instantly began to feel uncomfortable and his following tone reflected that discomfort. The thing was that though it was normal to him, Eric’s reaction and words made him feel more segregated from people then he already did. Being viewed as so different, especially by Eric, was not at all what he wanted.

 

“I’m only doing it to make some extra money,” he justified. “Anyway, getting back to my answer, normally I come out with barely a scratch but I was a little distracted at the time and the guy was able to take advantage. As you can see, he caught my gut, my eye and my chin. As for the cut to my cheek and the lump on my forehead, well that happened because of the fall down at the sidewalk that I warned you on the phone to be careful of,” Nick explained.

 

“Shit,” Eric said and he smiled with an odd expression that Nick could not read, before he began to laugh ironically.

 

“It’s not really funny, Eric,” Nick said.

 

“No, it isn’t funny at all and I’m sorry but that isn’t what I was laughing about. Shit, Michelle was right again, like she always is,” Eric commented.

 

Nick looked at Eric, now with a frustrated expression. It was all well and good that Eric was feeling relieved but Nick still had no idea what was going on or what this was all about. Then of course there was the fact that he was the only one who had revealed any information.

 

Nick asked, “Do you think you can let me in on the joke and what the fuck is going on?”

 

“Yeah, of course. Sorry Nick. First you need to know that you’re really not going to like what I’m about to tell you. It is about you and it’s bad and now that I’ve heard what you just told me, I’m certain it’s bullshit and we need to work out exactly how to deal with it. Nick, it’s about Jack Dawson. He wants you thrown off the team and he’s spreading some vicious rumors to make it happen.”

 

Remembering Sunday afternoon and wondering how much Jack would have been prepared to reveal, Nick asked, “Like what?”

 

Just as Eric went to reply, both men turned abruptly to the yelling sound of a woman’s voice outside on the landing. It was loud enough to distract them but Nick felt sure it was something to do with Billy and so he told Eric to ignore it and continue.

 

“Nick, there’s no way I know how to say this nicely and so I’m just going to say it plain and straight to you. Jack has rung every other player on the team and told us that you arrived and entered his home uninvited and without his knowledge while he was in the shower.”

 

Nick said disbelievingly amidst a gasp, “What?”

 

“He said that when he walked into his bedroom he was naked and you threw him on the bed and started sucking his cock. He said he pushed you off and when you both stood up, he king-hit you and split open your left eyebrow and that he left a few other marks as well.”

 

“Fuck,” Nick yelled with another gasp, though this time it was an angry one.

 

As the explanation was revealed to Nick, he could not help or control the volatile feelings that began to rise and seethe within him. He wanted to get hold of Jack and wipe the floor with him, which would have been a simple task for Nick, however, as he realized Jack was not only changing the story but also taking responsibility for his cuts and bruises, he knew that he had to give Eric at least some sort of explanation.

 

“Eric, that’s complete bullshit. Jack rang me on Sunday afternoon and asked me if I would come over. He told me he wanted to talk to me about something personal and I went. When I got there, he was in the shower and he yelled out for me to come into the house. Eric, he invited me over and he also invited me inside. I would never enter someone’s home without being invited. So anyway, we spoke briefly in his bathroom and then we went to the living room and we talked for maybe ten to twenty minutes. Just by the way, Eric, my being at his house by invitation was how he came to see my cuts and bruises and he even asked me about them. I told him I had a fall. Anyway, it was after...”

 

Nick stopped abruptly and his brown face flushed as he realized that he could not go any further. He had not meant to continue but he was so distracted with his anger and irritation with Jack, he had continued to talk without thinking.

 

Eric asked, “What was after?”

 

“Nothing. It was nothing and it’s unimportant,” Nick said in frustration.

 

Nick’s face suddenly expressed a cornered look and Eric was fully aware that something else was now bothering Nick.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong, Nick?

 

While feeling agitated by the position he was in, Nick looked into Eric’s eyes. He realized he had been right on Sunday when he worried that he might get caught up in something he did not want to be caught in. He could never have guessed this outcome but as he looked at the concerned yet curious expression on Eric’s face, he wondered how he could sidestep the whole situation. It occurred to him at that moment that it seemed impossible or that he had no idea how to get around it. In a way, he also knew at some deeper level what he really wanted was to scream the truth out loud.

 

Thinking, Nick began to consider what would happen if he told Eric the truth? “How would he react? Does it really matter? Isn’t it about time that I started being myself and being honest?”

 

Immediately he also told himself that it was not really the end of the world if he got thrown off the team. He loved the game and he loved playing but it was not as if his life would grind to a halt without it.

 

Looking, he studied Eric more closely as he considered him. He really liked him and he was the one player that always made it his business to approach him regularly, to talk to him and to joke with him. Now, he had without the knowledge of the rest of the team, come to him to get the real story or at least the other side of it. Eric really did seem trustworthy.

 

Eric said questioningly, breaking Nick’s thoughtful and distant gaze, as well as the extended silent pause between them, “Nick?”

 

“Yeah, sorry. Look Eric, there is so much more to this than you could possibly understand and so if you really want to know, I think I have to tell you something that nobody knows.”

 

“Whatever it is, Nick, again it will remain between you and me,” Eric said, trying to ease Nick’s obvious tension.

 

“Thanks Eric. It may come as a bit of a surprise to you but I hope that it doesn’t change anything between us.”

 

“Nick, we don’t really know each other very well but unless you’re about to tell me that you’re a murderer or that you rape children and puppies, I can tell you that there isn’t really anything that you could say that will change the way I feel about you.”

 

Eric suddenly looked away as the real meaning behind how he felt about Nick occurred to him. He then realized his abrupt reaction and so he turned back quickly and said, “I’m very open minded Nick and nothing really shocks me. I’m pretty much accepting of most things in life,” he explained.

 

“Well that’s good to know, Eric. I suppose in the same manner as you said earlier, there is no easier way than to just come straight out with it and say it. Eric, I’m gay,” Nick said for the first time in his life.

 

The moment the words left his mouth, Nick was immediately sandwiched between dual considerations. He was instantly aware that despite the difficulty of crossing the abyss of private revelation, it had actually been easy to say the words. However, one thing he did notice in particular, was that though he had always thought that saying the words would be freeing, it did not free him at all and he felt exactly the same. What did occur to him was that for him, the problem was not coming out; the problem was the person or people he was going to come out to. At the same time however, he was waiting for the verbal attack from Eric and wondering what the next few minutes would reveal.

 

Eric smiled. He stood almost immediately and began to walk around the coffee table. Nick’s gaze had risen with Eric and he was following his every movement and was wondering what was about to happen. Eric sat down beside him and put his arm around his shoulders.

 

“Nick, it’s cool and I have no problem with that.”

 

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” Nick said.

 

“Yeah, I would imagine that every time a gay guy comes out to another person, he could possibly be expecting the worst.”

 

Nick asked sarcastically and yet seriously, “Every time?”

 

Eric laughed. “Nick, the way you just said that makes it sound like I’m the first person you’ve ever told. You weren’t being literal with me when you said that nobody knows?”

 

“Yeah, well, almost no one, except for Jack,” Nick answered.

 

Eric’s eyes opened in disbelief but it was not because of what Nick had tried to tell him. In fact, Eric had only processed the information that Jack knew.

 

Eric asked with a raised tone of voice and an expression on his face that said that Nick had made a huge mistake, “What? Why would you have chosen to tell Jack of all people?”

 

“I didn’t tell him, well, not specifically,” Nick said, leaving Eric with a confused look on his face.

 

“You’re going to have to explain that answer to me,” Eric said.

 

“Ah hell,” Nick said as he stared at Eric and knew that now there was absolutely no turning back. He quickly thought that perhaps now was the time to get it all out in the open. He looked deeply into Eric’s eyes and he suddenly had an overwhelming feeling that Eric was the right person to talk to. He briefly considered that it may be a mistake but he dismissed the thought quickly and decided to go ahead.

 

“I suppose the only way you’ll understand is if I tell you the whole story. Are you in a hurry to get home to Michelle?”

 

Eric smiled as he remembered the offer Michelle had made to him regarding Nick. He thought it was a shame that Nick’s desire for him to stay was for another reason but at the same time, his curiosity was truly peaked and he wanted to know this story almost as much as he wanted to get Nick into bed.

 

“No Nick. Michelle told me to take all the time I needed to get to the bottom of this, so I’m all yours, even if I have to stay here all night with you.”

 

“I doubt that will be necessary but thanks for trusting me Eric and for giving me your time. One question, though. Why do you believe me and not Jack? It seems everyone would know him better than me and that it would be more likely and easy to therefore take his side, relatively unquestioned?”

 

“Several reasons, Nick. Firstly, though, it’s because I like you and feel like I can believe in you and trust you and secondly, it’s because I trust Michelle’s judgment. Also, though you may not be aware of this because you keep to yourself, Jack is an arrogant prick and I don’t trust him or particularly like him. That attitude is held not only by me but also by a lot of the guys on the team and many of their partners and wives. Nick, if you were a mass murderer, you’d still get my vote of confidence over him. I suspect many of the other guys would think that way as well,” Eric said and then he finally pulled his arm from around Nick’s shoulder and sat back, deciding to remain beside him.

 

Nick turned more directly toward Eric, looked him in the eyes and said, “I knew there must have been a good reason why I always liked you.”

 

“Well, it would be my hope that you liked me for other reasons as well,” Eric responded ambiguously but with a very warm smile.

 

Nick looked at him oblivious to the meaning behind the remark and said, “Well, I always thought you were one of the nicest guys on the team and now I believe it’s a fact.”

 

“I appreciate the compliment, Nick. It means a great deal to me,” he said sincerely but then his expression changed noticeably before he continued and said, “Nick, there is another thing that you in particular need to know.”

 

Nick looked at Eric curiously and asked, “What?”

 

“Jack is a fucking homophobe. Whenever I’ve been around him socially, I’ve seen and heard him point people out, complete strangers and refer to them as fucking queers. I think that might be the reason for his attack on you,” Eric said.

 

“He didn’t seem homophobic to me when he asked me to suck his cock,” Nick replied, feeling like he was getting a shot back at Jack, even though he really wanted to punch his lights out.

 

With his mouth left hanging open in absolute shock, Eric said, “Say what?”

 

Nick’s grin increased as he looked at the expression on Eric’s face. Nick was not a vengeful man but knowing he had the opportunity to let at least one person know what an absolute lowlife Jack was, gave him a sense of minor yet justified satisfaction.

 

“I suppose I should get down to the business at hand and let you in on the details you need to know. It’s the only way you’ll understand how this situation happened and how it transformed from what it was previously, to become what it obviously has.”

 

“Absolutely,” Eric said with a stunned tone of voice.

 

To be continued...