The Professor and Sean II
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2006 by the author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 29

Some background:

The Convocation in the story is the Spring Convocation. At many colleges it is also called Commencement. For purposes of the story, the Convocation is a separate happening. It is worth saying that Convocations are formal affairs and follow certain protocol.

As a writer, I have taken some liberties with the protocol for the purpose of drama in the story. It is unlikely that a student, even one who had made a significant contribution to the institution, would receive an honorary degree. If a chair had been endowed by anyone, it would be the president of the institution, or the chairman of the trustees who would make the announcement. In most instances the endowment would already be known to the college community and to the public.

Hopefully each of you will understand the need in the story to take exception to protocol. Here is an opportunity for each of you to practice "suspension of disbelief".

Scotty

********

(Ryan narrates)

I was a little troubled by what Sister Mary had said to us as we were leaving St. Anthony's. Tobias and Ned both seemed like nice kids. Tobias was the younger of the two and was African American. Ned was very light complexioned and I assumed was of Norwegian or Swedish ancestry.

Ned was the oldest of the four boys. He was probably nearly thirteen Although he listened and seemed interested, I wondered if the stories that we read and told them were too young for him.

Tobias was four or five and was intrigued by every word we uttered. It seemed to me that he really liked our nightly hugs and kisses. Ned, on the other hand, seemed wooden when you touched him. Often he pulled away as soon as we reached to hug him. I knew Sister Mary would not be able to tell us his history, but I imagined that Ned had been abused in the most perverted way.

I hadn't spoken much since we left the home, and as I was driving, I tried to keep my mind on driving. Sean was unexpectedly quiet, since he usually was a chatterbox after we left the home. I wondered if he was also thinking about Tobias and Ned. I didn't have to wait long because he started to talk to me in a nervous, stammering way,

"What are we going to do about Tobias and Ned? They are so unhappy at St. Anthony's. They need a home, Ry; they need a home. Tobias always holds on to me because he doesn't want to lose contact. I'm not sure about Ned. He seems distant, almost hurt. He doesn't smile, Ry; have you noticed that? Do you think he was abused? I think so. He acts like he suffered the worst kind; sexual abuse. He's uneasy when we hug him. Did you notice? I want to ask Sister Mary about him, but I know she can't tell us anything. We have a big house, Ry. Do you think we might, well, I guess not. That was a really stupid idea. Forget it."

I smiled inwardly and was delighted that my sensitive lover had felt much the same as I had. I wanted him to say what he was thinking, not hint at it and suppose that I knew what he was thinking. So I asked,

"Do you think we might do what? What's a stupid idea?"

Silence!

"Sean, answer my questions."

"Do you think we could adopt them, too. There! It's a stupid idea isn't it?'

Silence!

"It's stupid, isn't it?" he reiterated.

"A little, but I feel the same way."

"You do?"

"Yeah, and that makes me crazier than your idea."

"Ry, that's why I love you, Hon. You're so good."

"It will be very difficult to adopt them, you know. We haven't even given any of the agencies evidence that we have been good parents. Also, they may wonder about five boys, all of whom I suspect have had some abuse, being together in one family. What would you say if you were on the committee, Sean?"

"I guess I would say 'no'."

"Me, too."

"But I worry about Ned, Ry. He's hurting so much. He's afraid to love anyone. That's so terrible. I know about that, Ry. I know about that!"

"Let's proceed with the three boys first. Once that is finalized, we can think about adopting Tobias and Ned. There maybe some resistance to our adopting a black child. Be prepared for that."

"If we can bring happiness into their lives, I am willing to put up with all the shit the establishment wants to throw at me."

"Hmm, no more love making with me, then. You'd smell pretty bad, Baby," I told him as I laughed.

"Smart ass!" he jeered.

"Nice ass!" I countered.

Laughter, hugs and lovemaking would follow shortly.

********

(Jerrod narrates)

I now knew what happiness was all about. It was about loving someone who loved you without any outside restraints.

Kevin had certainly loved me, but he was carrying so much baggage that, although he wanted to be in a committed relationship, he wasn't able to pull it off.

Not so with Blake. He loved me. Me! The sex was great, but there was more. It was hard to define, but I knew he not only was my soul mate, but more than that, he was also my best friend. He was my lover, certainly; my partner, definitely; my protector, assuredly. It amazed me how much I loved Blake. I wanted to be with him. I had made love to him, tasted him, felt him against me, felt him in me and he had deposited his seed deep within me. He was now a part of me. Just touching him gave me a thrill I had never known before. It wasn't just sexual; there was something more to it, a kind of acknowledgment of our melding, our coupling, our love. I thanked God for Blake.

After our expansive love making, we had showered and dressed. It was then that I remembered the letter from the attorney's office. I got the letter and went to find Blake. He was in the kitchen. As soon as I walked in he came to me, took me in his arms and kissed me with gentle passion. I could feel myself aroused, as could he, as my hard penis was now pressing into his thigh. I enjoyed the moment, but then pulled away just enough to say to him,

"I got this letter today. I haven't even opened it."

"Who's it from?"

"A law firm in Florida."

"You'd better open it, Jer. It's probably important."

Without responding, I opened the envelope carefully. I took Blake's hand and led him to the sofa in the small living room. We sat together on the sofa. Before I opened the letter, I turned to Blake and asked him,

"Blake, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but, well, I am in love with you. I can't imagine going on without you by my side. I want you in my life, in my bed, by my side. Am I asking too much too soon?"

He looked at me, his eyes watery with tears he didn't want to show. First he kissed me gently, just a grazing across my lips. Then he hugged me tightly to himself and as he held me, said to me,

"Jer, I fell in love with you at the hospital, but I didn't know it then. The more time I spent with you, the more I knew there was something, but my idea that I was straight kept getting in the way of my admitting to myself that I loved you, a man. That was still a problem until we made love, and it was then that I knew I wanted you as my partner, as my lover for as long as we lived. I apologize for not telling you, but I feared you might not feel the same way, that you might be on the rebound and needed me to fulfill your sexual needs. Now I know differently. Jer, I love you so much, so deeply that it amazes me."

Tears were running freely down my face now and Blake began to kiss them away. I whispered a sobbed filled,

"I love you, Blake. I love you!"

We were now a couple, strongly committed to each other and to our mutual welfare.

"I guess I need to read the letter," I told him. I opened the letter and began to read it.

"Is it important, Jer? Is it something that we have to take care of immediately?" For an answer, I handed the letter to Blake. He began to read aloud,

Dear Mr. Williamson,

This is one of those times when we as attorneys take pleasure in writing to a new client. I have some very good and important news to share with you.

First let me express my deep sympathy for the loss of Kevin Reading. Such a tragic loss is difficult.

Mr. Reading held you in high regard and has made it clear in his will that certain things were important to him. Here are the particulars:

1. The apartment #111 at 43 Forest Avenue with all its furnishings is now your legal property.

2. The 2004 Toyota Camry VIN #09D89755XV733 is now your property.

3. You are heir to all of Mr. Reading's belongings.

4. He has established a trust fund for you, which will pay for your college expenses and provide you with $3200.00 per month for living expenses. Also included are any extraordinary and unforeseen expenses. Your health insurance and life insurance are guaranteed. All premiums will be paid.

5. When you decide to buy a home, funds will be provided for your down payment, for monthly mortgage payments, and for property taxes. Upkeep of the home will be covered by a trust for that specific purpose.

6. When you reach the age of 35, the entire principal of the trust will be yours. Presently the value is approximately $580,000. With prudent investment strategy, we predict that by your 35th birthday, the value will approach one and a half million dollars or more. At worst, we predict a value of $900,000.00

7. All of the inheritance is contingent on your finding a new life partner. Ryan Taylor and Sean Kelly will be the final judges in this. They must approve.

Our firm is now in control of this estate. When you are ready to discuss this further, call us at 555-123-4567. We will explain more of the details at that time.

Sincerely, Doltan and Brothers, Attorneys at Law Everett J. Doltan

"Fuckin' shit!" I exclaimed.

"Absolutely," agreed Blake.

********

(Ryan narrates)

Tuesday dawned bright and sunny. Although it was cool for late spring, its brilliance quickly warmed you, body and soul. Sean had been an absolute wonder this morning, waking with a smile and the immediate intent of having torrid sex with me. I did not object.

The day began with this warming and wonderful part of my life. I had to remind myself from time to time how much different my life would be without Sean. It frightened me when I did think about it. I couldn't imagine my existence without him. His love makes me whole, removes me from the mundaneness of life and elevates me to a wonderful place where I have learned the real meaning of love and life.

I knew that, with Sean by my side, I would have the strength and love to face the vagaries of living. With him, no obstacle, no problem we confronted would prevent our continuing happiness. I knew in a sacred way that God had intended that we should be together. He has woven our life tapestries with intersecting images, bringing us together to serve Him with our lives. Our starting of a family was evidence that we were succeeding with His plan.

I thought about all this as I prepared breakfast for the two of us, as I also speculated about preparing meals for five. Right at that moment I decided we would have a nanny and a housekeeper-cook. I could hear Sean singing in the shower. It was a pleasure and I had an immense desire to join him, holding his naked body against mine, as I would tell him of my love for him. But the bacon intervened. I beat the eggs in preparation for cooking them to the soft scrambled stage. Sean's singing had stopped so I knew he was probably getting dressed. I called out to him,

"Baby, you about ready for breakfast?"

"Coming, Hon," came his reply.

I poured the eggs into the heated frying pan and then began to move the egg mixture around, carefully avoiding having them stick. I was pleased when Sean put his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck.

"Good morning, stud," he joked.

"Happy that I can fill your needs," I said.

He bit my neck and then sucked on my flesh. He laughed,

"Just marking you, Hon. You're all mine."

I pushed the pan of eggs off the heat, turned and took him in my arms, kissing him with passion, and then kissing the tip of his nose. He laughed. I was enchanted. Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it, chef," Sean kidded me. He went to the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Hello. Yeah, just a minute. It's Jer and he wants the phone on speaker since he wants us to hear this together." Sean switched to speakerphone.

"Hey, guys it's me, Jer. Look, I hate to bother you so early in the morning, but I have some news. I mean, it's great news."

"Well, what's so great?" asked an impatient Sean.

"It's actually two things. First, I got a letter from an attorney in Florida that outlined what Kevin had set up for me. Ry, he left me comfortable. I'll go over the details with you later. I was fuckin' blown away. He did love me in his own way, but he never loved me the way I wanted to be loved. But that's the past and I have to live in the present."

"I can understand how you feel about Kevin, but I'm pleased that he left you enough to show how he felt. That lawyer is one my father uses. He'll take good care of you. Jer, what's the other thing?" I asked. There was a decided pause before Jer spoke,

"I want you to know that I am a very happy guy. Blake and I are a couple. We're in love. Can you believe it? He fell in love with me, but after I had fallen in love with him. Whatca think of that, guys?"

"Wow!" shouted Sean.

"Jer, if you are happy and Blake is happy, that's what's important. I hope that you two can be as happy as Sean and I."

"It's important that you know that Blake and I hope that we can be a couple like you two. If we can do that, then we will be happy. There is one other thing, though," he told us.

"What would that be?" I asked. Sean looked at me with a definite questioning look on his face.

Jer finally said, "Everything that Kevin had set up for me I can only get if I find another lover. But the important thing is that you two have to approve."

Neither Sean nor I was able to process that quickly.

"Would you repeat that, please?" said Sean.

"Yeah, it's fuckin' strange isn't it. I mean, Kevin must have really thought you two had a wonderful relationship. I guess he wanted to try to control who I would pair up with, even if he had to do it from the grave. Simply put, you two guys have to approve of my choice. My choice is Blake. We've discussed this, Ry, and if you two don't approve, well that's okay, because we are going to be a couple anyway, with or without Kevin's inheritance."

Sean just stared at me, his face reflecting disbelief and admiration. I felt the same.

"Jer, we can't decide this on the phone. We like Blake; we love you. Give us some time, and come to dinner tomorrow night with Blake." I advised him.

"It's a date and Blake agrees. See you then. Bye." The connection was terminated.

Sean came over and snuggled against me. I could smell his scent and it was almost intoxicating. We just stood there enjoying the moment. Sean spoke,

"What do you think of that?" he asked.

"Interesting. Kevin's arrangement surprises me a little. We need to think about the Jer-Blake relationship. Important at the moment are the eggs and bacon, which I need to reheat. You put some bread in the toaster, get some juice poured, and set the counter up for breakfast. I think I might enjoy a bowl of dry cereal with a banana." Sean began laughing.

"What's so funny, Baby?

"It's just my dirty mind, Hon. I want a banana, too, but not the same kind you want." I began to laugh now.

I wondered if we would ever finish breakfast and be on our way to State.

What's next?

********

(Cathy Sorenson narrates)

I knew it had been a difficult few weeks for Ryan, and I was not pleased with what Dr. Williams had in mind for the convocation. I had advised him to the contrary, but he was unwilling to change his mind.

I wondered if Ryan would be amenable to what was about to happen. I also wondered if Sean would tell him that he was to receive an honorary degree from State. It was extraordinary that this was happening. I couldn't help but believe that part of it was the administration chasing after funding. They had knowledge of Sean's wealth and his generosity. Could this be their ploy? I hoped not as I held Pres. Williams in high regard and I doubted he would be party to such a devious plot.

In discussing the matter with Janet she had scolded me, telling me,

"Cathy, don't see more to the event than what is there. Sean is a remarkable student, and exceptional musician, and a wealthy man. If this should be a devious plan of the administration, Ryan would be there to steer Sean in the right direction, if he needed it. But, Cathy, I trust Sean more than you do, I guess. I think he is intelligent and would quickly catch on to any devious scheme of the Trustees. Have some faith, Sweetie."

Now here I was sitting at my desk worrying about something of which I had no control. I already knew and had been planning with Janet about retiring from my position at State. But my desire was to see Ryan named English Department Chair. The only other staff member qualified would be Amanda Crighton, but she was recently married and I doubted she would accept if the position were offered.

I knew it was a strange thing for me to be thinking, but I was now of a mind that the new Chair should be a man. The department had become too feminized in the last ten years. A growing number of young talented men would apply and then be interviewed if asked, but often when they saw the numbers, a good eighty percent female and a tiny twenty percent male, they would make a hasty retreat from State. That had to change. I believed that Ryan could bring that about. Anne Milne had confided in me recently that she was praying that Ryan would be named the new chair when I decided to leave. She acknowledged Amanda's qualifications, but she thought she would not be the leader that Ryan would. I agreed.

I knew that I was behaving badly. I also knew that what I was about to do might be enough of an act of insubordination that I could be fired. I didn't care. I wanted Ryan to be aware of the "surprise". Not only would there be some early disharmony among the English staff, but what if Ryan objected. I dialed his office extension and waited. He answered,

Taylor, here. May I help you?"

"It's Cathy, Ryan."

"What's up?"

"I want to tell you something that I am not supposed to relate to you. I just think it would be ridiculous to do this without your knowledge. Ryan, you know how Williams is about things. He has always been the maverick in the state university system. Well, he is about to strike again."

"Is it Sean's degree? I already know about that as Sean told me a short while ago. I know there's something else because Dr. Williams just about ordered me to march with the administration, refusing my request to march with the English Department. I think Sean knows what's going on, but he has not even let on about it," I related to Cathy.

"No, I don't believe that Sean knows about this, although he may. Again, who knows how Williams will handle anything." I could hear Ryan get up from his chair and wander about his office as we talked.

"Cathy, is it something bad, something that I won't like, something embarrassing?" I moved uncomfortably in my chair and told him,

"Oh, no, Ryan. It's nothing like that. It's an honor, something I believe you would be happy about. Remember what you did in September at my urging?"

"I fell in love in those wonderful, now seemingly long-ago times. Then the trouble, then more happiness. I'm afraid I don't know what you are referring to, Cathy. Oh, wait a minute. I remember now. I applied for the English Department Chairmanship. But you're not leaving are you, Cathy. Please, please don't leave."

I couldn't speak for a while as emotions poured over me and I was frightened I might cry and be weak. I had to tell Ryan what was happening. I gathered all my strength and told him,

"I have a serious problem with my health, Ryan."

"Cathy, what does that mean, 'serious health problem'?" he asked.

"I have a back problem that can't be fixed. In a few years I won't be able to walk. I'll be in a wheelchair from then on. Janet and I want to travel and see the world while I can get around. It will be difficult, but that's what we want."

"So?"

"Think, Ryan, think"

"No, he wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that. Is he going to announce that I have been selected Chair and no one on staff or in administration has interviewed me? Is that it, Cath?"

"I'm afraid it is, Ryan. I have been arguing with him for the last three weeks. He told me he could hire whomever he pleased and he wanted you to stay at State. He wouldn't listen to me about the announcement. He wanted to surprise you. The only other in-house candidate was Amanda and she backed out when she got married. The outside candidates were many, but frankly none with your experience and knowledge of State. And I wanted you, Ryan."

"Good God, Cath, how am I going to handle that at convocation?"

"In your wonderful, humble way. And, Ryan, remember you didn't hear about it from me."

"Yes, I understand. Cath, would it be kosher to tell Sean?"

"Lovers have no secrets, Ryan. Tell him, but don't use my name. Congratulations!"

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks."

Cathy hung up the phone. She smiled and congratulated herself for taking decisive action. She prayed silently that Dr. Williams would never know.

Across the campus, Ryan Taylor sat stiffly in his chair. He sighed and wondered what could possibly happen next,

In a few hours he would know.

********

(Ryan narrates)

I sat alone in my office trying to digest all that Cathy had told me on the phone. I wasn't doing a very good job at it. How could I be named department chair and yet never been interviewed. I supposed that I was well known by Dr. Williams, but even so. Then I wondered if I had ended up being the only qualified applicant after Amanda had withdrawn.

I guess the thing that irritated me the most was that I had no opportunity to refuse the position. After it was announced at convocation, I couldn't do much about it, at least for a year. What if Sean and I decided to move to the new cabin in Vermont. The rural area would be a good place to raise the boys. We were financially well off so we could do what we wanted. That I knew was just fantasy. That was our summer home, and maybe Christmas and the holidays, but not our home. We had bought our home, which was near State.

I was confused and angry. What to do? Then there he stood in the doorway smiling at me. I forgot everything except him.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked him.

"Because you make me happy." he said.

"Come here, Baby. I want to hold you; actually I need to hold you."

"What happened, Hon?" he asked.

"Cathy called to tell me something about convocation. It has upset me. I can't explain why, but it has."

I pulled him against my chest kissing his curly blond head. He sighed and began to stroke my arm. I was comfortable, as was he. For some time we just hugged each other in silence. He pulled away from me and looked at me with tenderness and love.

"Do you want to tell me about it now? Or would it be better to just wait until you're ready to share it with me?" he murmured.

"Cathy said Dr. Williams is going to announce that I will be the new department chair in English when Cath retires, which she plans to do at the end of this school year. I don't understand how he can do that without asking me if I want the job." I complained to him.

"Do you want the job, Hon?" he questioned.

"Of course I do." I said.

"Then I don't understand. What's the problem? I think it's wonderful. WOW! my husband is the department chair in English at State. I need to kiss you for that." he chuckled.

"Why are you always right, Baby? I want the job. I would have said 'yes' if I were asked. I should just enjoy it. Right?"

Instead of an answer, Sean kissed me so passionately that my penis began to rise in anticipation. I wanted him badly, but in bed at home.

"Let's go home, Baby and make love," I told him as we kissed firmly.

And we did.

********

(Sean narrates)

After some torrid lovemaking, we got out of bed, but remained naked. We went to the kitchen and proceeded to prepare dinner. Ry took control of the chicken, while I worked on the potatoes and vegetables. We would make the salad together, as that had become a ritual for us.

We seldom ate dinner naked, but for some reason, tonight seemed to demand that of us. Every time I looked at Ry's beautiful ass, my dick would jump to show its appreciation.

More than once I wanted to push him over the counter, spread his inviting ass cheeks, and work my tongue magic on his blinking hole.

I caught Ry looking at me with such intensity that I knew he wanted me again, too. I smiled at him, using all my sexual 'come-ons" hoping, as I did, that I would entice him into action. It was obvious that he was interested as his cock began to grow into that magnificent sex tool which was exclusively mine. He walked to me, pulled me roughly against his chest, kissed me hard, and told me in uncompromising terms,

"You, Baby, are one hot fucking tease. I am hot for you right now, but I will wait, and you will learn not to tease a stud like me."

We were both laughing now, and as he stroked my back and finally my ass cheeks, my cock responded and pushed into his thigh. He dropped to his knees and instantly my cock was in his throat. He worked it with his tongue and saliva as his hand pulled on my balls. I was moaning in appreciation. Stopping abruptly and standing, he looked at me with hunger in his eyes, reached down and squeezed my now throbbing cock, and told me,

"Now you wait until later, Baby. Not to worry. Your lover will take care of all your needs."

I actually gasped because of the intensity of his looks and the hardness of his cock and body, My sexual energy was at its peak, but I would have to wait. Ry knew that by making me wait, I would only be that much more filled with desire later. We were both sexually charged and had been since afternoon. Since then we couldn't get enough of each other. I smiled again at him, and said,

"Eat all your dinner, because I will tax you're energy in bed later. I will want you in many ways, so be ready."

Ry just laughed, and we were soon back preparing our meal.

Dinner was a simple meal of roasted chicken breast, baked potatoes, and fresh green beans. We playfully had made the salad of various greens, tomatoes, qukes, some summer squash, carrots, and olives. Ry had prepared a delicious dressing of lemon juice, olive oil, and seasonings.

As we ate, I kept rubbing my bare foot up the inside of Ry's right leg. Occasionally I would run my toes up to his balls and cock, and he would gasp or moan. We were having such a wonderful time, both of us hurrying a little so that we could get to the bed and lovemaking. We had just gotten the vanilla ice cream and fresh strawberries ready, when the phone rang. Ry picked up the phone.

"Hello, Ryan Taylor, here," he said. I then noticed that his face paled. Just a minute. He turned on the speakerphone. Go ahead." After a pause, I heard a gentle female voice.

"This is Sister Agnes at St. Anthony's. Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kelly, Sister Mary is at the hospital."

"What's wrong with her?" I interrupted.

"It isn't her, sirs. It's Zachary. His fever got so high, and nothing we knew how to do would bring it down." I heard myself,

"Oh, God, no, no, no!"

Ry was by my side, hugging me, kissing me gently and telling me to calm myself and listen to what else Sister had to say.

"Go on, Sister," he said.

"She's there now and wanted me to call you immediately so that you could get to the hospital as soon as you could. I'll pray for Zachary and for you."

Ry took over at that moment,

"Thank you Sister; we are on our way." The phone clicked dead. Ry immediately dialed his parents and quickly told them of the situation. They asked no questions, but assured us that they would be at the hospital immediately. All this time I was trying to regain my composure, but tears were streaming down my cheeks and with difficulty I was holding back the sobs that were wracking my body. I got no sympathy from Ry, but firm orders,

"Come on, Sean. Get a hold of yourself. You have to be brave and in control. Remember, Mom will be there and she has a special connection with Zachary. You, Dad and I have to be strong for her. Now get dressed and we're out of here.

From somewhere deep in my being I called upon a strength I did not know I had, and was dressed and ready to leave in a few short moments.

'What,' I wondered, will we find at the hospital?'

********

(Ryan narrates)

Our ride to the hospital was quiet and quick. Neither of us said much, but I suspected that we were both thinking about the same things. What could be wrong with Zachary? Would we lose him? Why was this happening to us? We were so happy that our lives were falling into place, our family was complete. We were waiting only for a minor technical approval in Family Court. I could see that Sean was in heavy emotional pain and I wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. But I couldn't, because I was driving. I didn't have any answers for him and he knew that, as he didn't ask any questions.

My heart was heavy as I thought of Zachary ill and in the hospital. Why such an innocent child would have to suffer. I know that Father O'Rourke would tell all of us that this wasn't God's work. It was nature and the way life plays out. How Zachary fared in this crisis would depend on our prayers, but also in a very important way, on the medical staff who would care for him. I parked in the hospital parking lot, removed my seatbelt as did Sean, but before he could get out of the Rover, I took him into my arms, held him tightly, and kissed him gently. I whispered to him,

"Baby, now that we are parents, we will have to deal with this kind of crisis and others as the boys mature. Kids get sick and get hurt. This will happen to our sons and together we must provide for them the strength and love that will pull them through. I know that I need you with me to share your strength and love. And I promise that I will be there to share mine with you. Together, my beautiful lover, we will make it through. Let's go! We're needed in there."

Before I could pull away, Sean kissed me hard on the lips, and I tasted the saltiness of tears as they ran down his face and into our kiss. God, how I loved him. He spoke softly,

"Ry, I love you and will always be there for you. Let's go."

We hurried into the hospital and up to the pediatric area on the second floor.

********

(Sean narrates)

When we arrived at the waiting room in the pediatric wing, we found Sister Mary sitting, her rosary in her hands, her head bowed in prayer. We stopped immediately so that we wouldn't interrupt her. She sensed someone in the room with her and looked up at us. She waved us toward her as she rose from her chair. She hugged both of us and then spoke to us, calmly and carefully,

"At the moment the doctors don't know exactly what it wrong with Zachary. They are very concerned with his temperature, which they have not yet been able to get under control. It could be something as simple as a virus or it could be something as dangerous and life threatening as meningitis. He's not in pain and seems sleepy. For a short while he didn't respond well, but that has changed. The physicians are hopeful and encouraged. We will have to wait. That's all I know."

At that moment, Mom and Dad rushed into the waiting room. Mom was ashen faced and Dad was not smiling as he usually did. Mom came to us and hugged both Sister Mary and us; Dad did the same.

"What do you know?" asked a concerned Mom. Sister Mary repeated what she had told us. Mom looked at Dad and something passed between them which only a couple married a long time would understand. They had communicated their anxiety and fear. Dad then asked Sister Mary,

"How long has Zach been this way?"

My heart jumped and almost burst when he called him 'Zach'. Already a bond was there, a love of a grandfather for his young grandson. I noticed for the first time how Mom's eyes glistened, but she maintained the same dignity and bearing that she always did.

"We noticed the fever about an hour after you left this evening. He didn't seem otherwise uncomfortable, so we followed our usual procedure for fever without other symptoms. We gave him baby Tylenol. An hour later, he was no better, and in fact, his fever was at that time 104. We also thought he was near to convulsing. I called the ambulance and hospital and headed here with him. Sister Agnes was to call Ryan and Sean. I didn't have..."

Sister Mary was interrupted when a very large man in hospital garb came into the waiting room. He looked like a professional wrestler. He was at least six feet five inches tall and had a muscular frame. I saw his huge hands and marveled that he worked with fragile infants.

"Hello, I'm Alexander Kosmos, Zachary's doctor." He didn't wait for pleasantries or introductions, put spurred on with his report.

"At the moment, we're still not sure what is wrong with Zachary. His fever has begun to decrease, but we are still not sure what his problem might be. We have a number of tests to finish and we should have a more definitive answer for all of you in a couple of hours."

Ry stepped forward and extended his hand to Dr. Kosmos.

"I am Ryan Taylor and this is Sean Kelly, my life partner. This is my mother and father, and you know Sister Mary. Sean and I have been approved to adopt Zachary and his two brothers, Jacob and Ethan. We have to wait for Family Court approval where some technicalities will be completed. The reason I am telling you all this, Dr. Kosmos, is that I wondered if we might see Zachary?" he said.

Doctor Kosmos looked at Sister Mary, cleared his throat, and said,

"Since you are not yet the boys parents, I can't give you permission to see him, but Sister Mary, as the person legally responsible for him could allow you to see him. That would be up to her to decide. What do you think , Sister?"

"As far as I am concerned, they are the parents of Zachary and the other two boys. Family Court is just a place where all the legal papers are completed. Of course, they all can visit the boy, Doctor."

"Very well, I'll inform the nurses. I will get back to you as soon as I have something definitive to tell you, Mr. Taylor. I have some duties to attend to now. Zachary will have some more tests beginning shortly. You may visit him now, but only for a very short time," he told us as he quickly left the waiting room.

I had remained quiet during all the time Doctor Kosmos was with us. I was a nervous wreck. I wanted to see Zachary, and I knew that Mom was probably even more on edge about it. I went to Ryan and hugged him,

"Thank you for arranging for us to see our son. Let's get to him before they whisk him away for more tests. Mom and Dad, you have to come with us, too. And Sister Mary, please accompany us as you know most about Zachary."

Without answers from anyone, we all hurried to the nurses' station and asked to see Zachary. Good to his word Doctor Kosmos had made the necessary arrangements. A young nurse, whose nametag identified her as Suzanne, told us that we could only stay for five minutes. If we were very quiet we could all go in together. That is what we did.

Zachary's crib was on the near wall of the Pediatric Intensive Care area. A large older nurse met us at the door and showed us to his crib. I gulped as I stared down at my son. He seemed so tiny, so alone. I leaned in and kissed his brow. Ryan was holding my hand and he kissed Zachary after me. Mom was next, and the poor dear just couldn't keep it together, as she kissed Zachary, she began to weep. Dad took her into his arms and hugged her. Sister Mary stepped forward and put Dad's hand into hers, then she asked us to hold hands and together say a silent prayer for Zachary's prompt recovery. That finished, Dad said they would leave us with our son. Sister Mary agreed and they left.

Ryan and I stood by our son's crib. Emotion rushed through me like waves breaking on the shore. I whispered to Ry,

"He looks so small, so helpless. And I can't help him, Hon. I'm useless. Some parent I am." Ry squeezed my arm so tightly that it hurt. He spoke in a quiet but angry voice,

"I will hear no more of that from you, do you understand? You had nothing to do with this. He's sick and he's where he belongs. We are doing the right thing. Now we must wait until we know more. Waiting is terrible, Baby. I know, because I had that terrible wait when you were injured. I know the empty feeling, the fear of loss, the awful sense of impotence. That's normal, but to say you won't be a good parent. I don't buy that. And to think that you are useless isn't being fair to yourself. Love him, pray for him, and wait with all of us for news."

"I looked up at Ry and with tears streaming down my face, small sobs escaping my control, I whispered to him,

"I love you. I love him. I love Mom and Dad. I love Jacob and Ethan. I love God. Please dear God, let us have Zachary until we are old and gray and he is grown."

For an answer, Ry gently kissed me on the lips. The duty nurse just smiled.

********

(Gerry narrates)

It seemed like an eternity before Ry and Sean came out of Zach's room to join us in the waiting room. Ellen was pretty upset by the whole affair and little I said or did seemed to change her attitude. Sister Mary spoke quietly with her and seemed to have made some inroads. When our sons finally came into the room, Ellen was on her feet and immediately took a very shaken Sean into her arms. Now that she had someone to worry about, her own emotional upset disappeared.

Ryan had come to me and hugged me. I appreciated his concern for me when he was so upset by everything that was occurring. We walked away from the other three and out into an adjoining room. I noticed how tired and drawn my son looked and I didn't like it. Too much and too fast was all that I could think, but I said nothing. We sat together on the sofa and he finally spoke,

"Dad, this is terrible. Sean is devastated and doesn't understand why this is happening to us. I've tried to explain to him that the world works this way. No one can usually answer that terrible cry, 'why'. But I am worried about him, Dad."

"And I am worried about you, Ryan. You look like hell, if I may say so. You look like you need some sleep and your color is terrible. Is there a problem between you and Sean?" I asked.

"My God, no, Dad. Sean and I are deeply in love and want the family. There are just so many things happening, and so fast. There's the adoption, the house, the convocation, the trip to Denver, the cabin, my appointment as department chair..."

"Wait up," my dad interrupted, "what's this about department chair? When in the hell did this happen? Why didn't your tell your mother and me?"

I was a little pissed about this whole department thing. Ryan look surprised and a little hurt. He told me,

"Look Dad, I just learned about it this afternoon. It's going to be announced at convocation and I'm not too happy about that aspect of it. I planned to call you and Mom later to tell you, and well, then this crisis happened. I'm sorry, Dad."

Before I could answer, I saw Dr. Kosmos enter the waiting room. Ryan also saw him and the two of us hurried in, hoping that we would know what was wrong with Zachary. As we arrived, Dr. Kosmos was speaking,

"We've done all the tests and we know that it isn't meningitis, or any other serious or life-threatening malady. We think that Zachary contracted some type of twenty-four hour flu or flu-like cold, which caused his temperature to spike as it did. It is presently normal and he is sleeping. I won't discharge him tonight as I think it prudent to keep him here where we can watch him carefully. None of you need stay the night. He'll be discharged tomorrow morning at eleven. Are there any questions?"

No one spoke, so the doctor said goodnight and left us. Mom and Sean were hugging as were Dad and I. Sister Mary also hugged us all. Everyone expressed gratitude that everything has turned out okay. I told Ryan that Mom and I would take care of seeing that Sister Mary got back to the home. I urged him to go home and get some rest. He said that he would. I spoke to Mom who whispered something to Sean. Sean came and got Ryan and they left. Relieved that they were headed home, we left to take Sister Mary to the home and then we would be back to the hotel for a good night's sleep.

********

(Sean narrates)

After the trauma of Zachary's illness and our time at the hospital, both Ryan and I were exhausted. We didn't talk on the drive home. I was still wrapped in the experience of our son's possible serious illness and what that might mean to us and to our family. Ry cleared his throat and then spoke slowly to me,

"Baby, you did well at the hospital. I know how upset you were, but you kept it together very well and that helped Mom to deal with it without getting too emotionally distressed. That was good. I have to say, Baby, that I am really tired and emotionally drained. Parenting will not be easy, will it? I mean, I guess I hadn't thought about sickness and that kind of thing. Had you?"

"I guess not. I mean I knew things were not always going to be perfect. I know because I experienced some of it only a couple of years ago. I was the kid, and I had to interact with caring adults and others who were not so caring. Ryan, are you having second thoughts about the adoption?"

"No!" he shouted. "No!"

I knew I had asked the wrong question, and I wondered where this would take our relationship.

"Sean Kelly, how could you think that about me! Of course, I'm not having second thoughts about the adoption. I want those boys in our family as much as you do. It's just that I had a realization of how much responsibility raising the boys was going to be. We can do it and we will do it right. Because Zachary was sick tonight, I was reminded of what it meant to be a good parent. Please don't ever doubt that I don't want the boys as much as you do."

"Ry, will you please forgive me. I don't know what possessed me. I think I was having the same thoughts as you about the responsibility of raising the boys. It's going to be difficult at times, especially when we want time for ourselves, but the boys have to come first. But I want to do it; even more now that I saw Zachary tonight and knew more than ever before how much those guys need us, need our caring, need our love. I am so sorry, Hon, for even thinking for a microsecond that you had doubts. Can you forgive me, please?" I said.

At that moment, we pulled into the parking lot at the townhouse. I turned off the engine, removed my seatbelt and turned to Ryan. He sat quietly looking straight ahead. Slowly he removed his seatbelt, and turned to meet me face-to-face. My heart was thumping wildly as I envisioned all kinds of responses from him.

"Come here," he ordered in his roughest, sexiest voice.

I moved to him and he wrapped me in his arms. He looked deeply into my eyes, and then he kissed me. The kiss made my toes curl, took away my breath, and caused my sexual anatomy to be highly charged. It was a long, wet, tongue-filled kiss, and somehow I had climbed over and onto his lap. I could feel his blood engorged penis against my ass, and I wanted more of him; I wanted him in me. He held the kiss for a long time, but finally pulled away from me, smiled broadly and asked,

"Does that answer your question, Lover?"

My body was weak from my heightened sexual stimulation, but I had no doubt that I was forgiven. I nestled my head into the crook of his shoulder and sighed deeply as my hands moved across his chest, my fingers teasing his nipples, which were now hard and erect. Finally he began to moan and I knew that we would make magical love once we were in our bed. I sighed again, kissed him gently on his neck, and whispered to him,

"I know I am forgiven. Let's go in and get to bed so that we can make love and reassure each other that all is well between us. Ry, your cock is very hard and I love the feeling of it pushing against my ass, but Lover, I want you in me. Come on, let's get going."

We hurried out of the Rover, and soon were in our bedroom undressing and excitedly throwing our clothes everywhere. I was down to my thong when Ry took my hand and wouldn't let me take it off.

"I want to do that. It's my job." he reminded me.

He was standing there only in his boxers, which could not keep his penis inside. It had broken free through the fly and was standing almost straight out. His cock was beautiful and large; the bulb-like head a healthy dark pink; the piss slit, slightly open and glistening with precum. I thought about his eight and a half inch penis sliding deep into my rectum. Before I could act, Ry had dropped to his knees and was pulling down my thong. I stepped out of it and stood naked and erect before him.

"You are so fuckin' beautiful," he said with emotion and desire.

He licked the head of my cock, removing the substantial precum that was almost dripping from it. I jumped a little because I was so highly stimulated that I thought I might not be able to last long.

"Ry, Hon, I'm close already. Please, Hon, make love to me. I want you in me. Please."

He pushed me onto the bed, where I moved to the center and lay on my back. He crawled between my legs and picked them up and placed them on his shoulders, but not before he kissed each toe and licked the sole of each foot. He licked my balls, exciting me more, and then pushed my legs back further and apart and was soon making love to my anus. I was wild with desire. I needed him, now.

"Please!" was all I was able to say.

Ry ripped off his boxers, tearing them into pieces. He reached for the bedside supply of lubricant, worked some into my pulsating hole and onto his throbbing cock. Without another word spoken, he moved into position and pushed forward slipping into me. I moved back against him taking all of his fuck tool deep into my tight ass. He held himself there while I moved against his cock, impaling myself on him.

"Oh, Ry, please, please fuck me."

"Whatever you want, Baby, I am here to give it to you." he told me as he began to move with vigor in and out of me, brushing my prostate as he fucked in and pulled out.

"Yes, yes, yes!" I almost screamed as unbelievable pleasure overtook my being.

In that instance we melded together as one and we both reached our sexual high, and from our erect cocks shot load after load of love juice. I was so moved by his lovemaking that I was crying quietly, knowing that I had been forgiven and that I was deeply loved. Ryan had begun to kiss me lustfully, my entire body tingling in response to his lovemaking.

"My good God, Sean, I love you so deeply, so completely. I can't get enough of you, Baby. Oh, God, God, God! You will always be mine. Always." he said was firmness and conviction.

In each other's arms, we fell asleep, not knowing what would come tomorrow. What we did know, and with confidence, was that we had each other.

All else would happen as we moved through life together.

To be continued...

Author's Note:

A special `thank you' goes to my editor and proof reader, Wayne. His contribution is significant and greatly appreciated. As Sean would say, "He's "Awesome!"

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