The Professor and Sean II
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2006 by the author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 5

(Ryan continues the narration)

My heart nearly stopped beating when Charles made his announcement. I looked quickly at Sean realizing that he was frightened and shocked by being called to the phone. He had already known a full measure of sadness and agony in his young life. I couldn't fathom if it might be good or bad news, but I was sure that Sean would assume the worse. I was also trying to remember who knew where we were and what there was about the call that made Charles think is was important. These thoughts ran helter-skelter through my mind as I hugged Sean.

As soon as I touched him, I sensed the fear he was experiencing. His body was rigid, his hands shaking and he was approaching hyperventilation, . His face was drained of color, and I feared he might collapse. I hugged him even more tightly and told him,

"Baby, try to relax. Don't worry. I'm right here and I will be with you no matter what this is about. Charles, please bring an additional phone to the study. Sean and I will take the call there," I said.

"Sean, dear boy, I'm sure everything is okay," said Mom as she came to him and hugged him tightly. Dad was right behind her and hugged him again.

Rog and Greg, usually outgoing and funny, were suddenly quiet and concerned. Rog spoke,

"Sean, just remember that Ryan is with you and that all the rest of us are here if you should need us. We all love both of you, and we will not let anything prevent us from being here for you."

Greg quickly added, "You can count on that, Sean. Believe me, you can count on that."

Sean and I followed Charles into the study. The room brought back memories of reading and story telling, of sitting with my Dad and hearing his tall tales. Mom let us have our time together as long as she could have her time with me, too. Her pleasure was a quiet chat with me, hoping to get all the information she could from me.

I never thought of my mother as nosey or manipulating. I always saw her as interested in my life and filled with love for me. She had proven that a number of times in my life, but in particular I remembered with humble thankfulness all that she and dad had done for Sean and me when he was attacked and almost died.

The dark mahogany-paneled wall, lined with bookcases and hundreds of volumes, filled me with the same wonder that they had the first time I saw them. The large floor globe sat in its honored place next to the fireplace. Dad's desk with his high-backed leather executive chair sat opposite the fireplace wall . On the desk sat a phone with a couple of flashing lights. Charles returned with another phone and then hurried out closing the door behind him.

I had held Sean tightly while I'd been thinking about another time. It wasn't that I had forgotten him; that could never be. It was rather that I had been transported to another time because of the surroundings. At that moment I realized what had happened to Sean at the cabin. That place had evoked some powerful memories, which he was not able to handle well. His connection to his parents had been so encompassing that he was able to reconnect to them, perhaps driven by his desire to be able to say goodbye to them, something that he had not been able to do as a child. I ceased my reverie and spoke to him,

"Are you okay, Baby? Are you ready to take the call. Do you want me on the phone with you, or would you rather I wait until you tell me you want me listening?"

"I'm a little scared, Hon. I don't know what to expect. The only thing that I can think of terrifies me. I want you on the phone with me. We're partners, Ry; I have no secrets from you and I don't ever plan to have any."

"Sean, what is it that terrifies you?" I asked.

"I'm worried that it could be something bad about Aunt Emily."

"But, Baby, how would they know how to reach us? We didn't leave that information with the home. That was a mistake. From now on when we travel, we need to leave information on how to reach us with the home. I feel stupid."

"You're not stupid, Hon. I should have thought..."

The phone on the desk rang. We both jumped. I reached for one phone as he reached for the other. I told him,

"The phone rang because Charles transferred the call to the study. Go ahead, Baby, answer it."

Expelling a large, sad-tinged sigh, Sean picked up the receiver and spoke,

"Hello, this is Sean Kelly?"

********

(Sean narrated)

The day had been such a wonderful experience for me. And then dinner was extraordinary. I ate foods I had never heard about much less eaten. And Ry and Rog were so diplomatic in assisting me unobtrusively with the proper utensils to use. Everyone was so kind to me that I began to wonder why. Then it dawned on me; Mom and Dad are treating me just like their son. And Rog and Greg are simply being themselves. They had known and loved Ry long before I came into the picture, and when I did become Ry's partner, they welcomed me and tried in all ways to support me.

Sometimes when I think about that awful day of the beating and my stay in the hospital, I am most struck by the intensity and the breadth of the love and support of so many wonderful people. Even though I had a special place in my heart for those caring souls, it was Mom and Dad, and Rog and Greg who owned an even more special place in my psyche, my soul, I guess for what they had done. Cathy and Janet were in that same place. But the most sacred and personal place in my being was reserved for Ryan, my lover, my partner, my husband.

Now I faced a moment in time, frightening because I did not know what it might be, when the person I loved most in the world would be there to support me and to help me through whatever I was to encounter.

In the study, or library, as it seemed to me to be both, we waited for Charles to bring another phone. I noticed Ry seemed distant and lost in thought. Perhaps it was being home again where memories can overtake you and cause you to forget the present and transport you to another time. I knew this well as I had been so affected by the cabin.

Ry had expressed concern about me and asked if I was okay. I had let him know my fear that it might be something bad about Aunt Emily. And I had lied to him, telling him that I never had secrets from him, when I had a secret about the chair at State that I had demanded be kept a secret. I felt guilty, but convinced myself that surprising my lover with this special gift was reason enough to keep it a secret.

********

(Ryan narrates)

When the phone rang, we both jumped and then reached for the phones, and before Sean answered, I took his hand and held it.

"Hello. This is Sean Kelly."

"Hello, Mr. Kelly, this is Ellen Grasmere."

"Who?" he asked.

"I'm the architect who is working on your Vermont property."

"Oh, yes, sorry I didn't recognize the name. My partner, Ryan Taylor, is on the phone with me."

"Hello, Ms. Grasmere." I said.

"I am really sorry to bother you as I realize that you are on vacation, but we have a problem and, Dan and Craig are also on vacation. I did contact them and they thought it important that I speak directly with you. I hope you will forgive me for this interruption, but it is important," she said.

In a voice laced with concern, maybe even fear, "What's the matter, Ms. Grasmere? Sean asked.

"It's pretty weird, and I'm almost embarrassed to tell you about it. But until we can do something about it, we won't be able to go on with our work at the site. Our workers are convinced that the cabin is haunted. They swear they hear voices whenever they try to do anything. Do you have an explanation for this, Mr. Kelly, or Mr. Taylor?" she inquired.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Sean.

"Ms. Grasmere," I said, "This will be very difficult to explain, and frankly I'm not sure that explaining it to you will solve your problem. It's a complicated situation."

"Exactly what are you suggesting, Mr. Taylor?" she asked.

"It's my fault. It's my fault," said Sean as he diligently worked to keep his sobs from getting the best of him.

"Sean, it isn't your fault. Please get control of yourself so that we can explain to Ellen what we think it is. It's important, Baby, that she understands the situation," I told him, almost scolding as I did.

"Mr. Taylor, would it be better if I called back in an hour so that you and Mr. Kelly have some time to discuss the matter. It will not be a problem for me to do that. I sense that you need some private time to deal with this phenomena," Ellen offered.

"Yes, I need to speak with Ry privately. I need him to help me understand what's happening. It's very important, Ms. Grasmere," replied Sean.

"Look, Gentlemen, my phone number is 802-463-5555 and my cell is 802-876-5555. When you're ready to talk with me, please call anytime. Don't worry about the time of day or night. This is important to the future of the house and to you. By the way,

Dan wanted me to tell you that he planned to call you tomorrow night at around eight. I apologize again to both of you for interrupting your vacation and for causing you distress, which I sense most in Mr. Kelly. I will be waiting for your call. Good bye."

In unison we replied, "Good bye, Ellen."

The circuit was broken and Sean sat in a daze, the phone still in his hand. I could see that his eyes glistened with tears, but he was doing well to control his emotion. I hung up my phone and walked over to him, quietly removed the phone from his hand and hung up the receiver.

"Are you going to be okay, Baby?" I asked, soon discovering that it took only that question to send him into my arms where he lost it and sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm scared, Hon. I am so scared. I thought they were gone. I thought they wanted us to live our lives. Why would they be haunting the cabin? Is it because we were going to have it demolished? Could it be that?" he asked amidst his now receding sobs.

I hugged him to me and kissed his tear-stained face. My mind was working hard to come up with an answer that would be sufficient for the moment. It was not that I wanted to placate him, but rather that I wanted him to calm down enough so that we could discuss it coolly and intelligently. I told him,

"Look, Baby, I don't have the answer to all your logical and intelligent questions. We don't even know for a fact whether the workman actually heard voices or whether they heard the wind; or even if they are superstitious and uneducated? We need to discuss this matter when we both have regained some composure. What do you want to tell Mom and Dad and Rog and Greg? You know they are going to be wondering what this call was all about."

"You decide, Hon. I don't know how to handle this. I don't want them to think that I'm crazy. They know nothing about the experiences I have had, and if we tell them, maybe they'll think I flipped my lid," he said in a soft, sad voice.

"They won't think you're crazy! They love you, Sean. They may find it difficult to understand, but they will accept it as something that happened; because I was also there and I am a witness to those experiences."

"I hope so. I can't imagine why my mother and father would do this to us. I just can't. I thought we had proved to them our love and they had approved of our union and wanted us to be together and to live our lives as we wanted. Now it seems as if they have reneged on that agreement," he replied.

"Sean, don't jump to any conclusions. We have a great deal to find out. I don't believe for a second, that your parents would do this unless there was a really important reason. Is there anything about the cabin that you can think of that might cause this reaction from them?" I asked.

"No. I don't know any reason for this. I just don't understand. Ry, I so need your help."

"Baby, you don't have to ask for my help. I am always here to love you, to protect you, to help you. You are my partner for life; you are the center of my soul and being."

"Ry, I think we need to let Mom and Dad know what's going on. And we care a lot about Rog and Greg, so we should let them in on it,too. But, Hon, I don't know how to do that. How do I tell them about the strange experiences I've had. I just don't know how I can do it. I'm frightened, not only about telling them, but trying to understand what's happening at the cabin."

"Baby, I didn't want to tell you this, but I asked Ellen to do something that was to be a surprise for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know how much you love the cabin, so I asked that Ellen to find someway to keep it, maybe incorporating it into the next home, or moving it, or whatever, but certainly not to demolish it."

Sean stared at me with a mixture of disbelief, wonder and love. He stammered,

"You did that for me? Why? I was ready to give up the cabin," he told me.

"I did it because I love you and I didn't want anything about our doing away with the cabin, that we both love, just to make room for something that would never hold our affection as much as the cabin that you remember from you childhood. Frankly, Baby, it also has much to do with our love and lovemaking. How could I let them tear it down? Too much of both of, us and our love, are in that cabin. I wanted to keep it as much as you. So I did what I did, and I am sorry that I kept it from you. This is the only secret, except for Christmas presents, that I have ever had from you."

"My wonderful husband I am not upset about your keeping this secret. I am overwhelmed by your love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving the cabin. I will never be able to repay you for this," he whispered in my ear as he hugged me and then kissed me gently on the lips.

"Baby, do you think that my saving the cabin might have anything to do with the voices?"

"I don't know, but I can't imagine that it would. Maybe we need to have some ideas from Mom and Dad, and Rog and Greg. I think we need to go and tell them. Hon, will you do the talking; I don't think I can get through it."

"Of course I will. I will do anything you ask of me, Baby. I love you," I told him with emotion in my voice.

"And I love you," he said as he kissed me again, and this time I returned the kiss with passion and love. Hand in hand we walked back toward the living room so that we could tell everyone what the call was about.

********

(Greg narrates)

After Ryan and Sean left to take the call in the study, the conversation waned. I thought there were two reasons: we were all curious about the call, but more importantly, we were concerned that it might be bad news for Sean. I didn't have any idea what it might be, but I was sorry that it had come so early in our stay in Florida, and I made a silent prayer that it wouldn't upset all the plans we had for a pleasant and restful vacation.

"I hope it isn't anything serious or hurtful for Sean. He deserves to have a nice vacation," I suggested.

Rog almost reared up off the sofa and chided me,

"Greg, for heaven's sake, it's much more important that we support the two of them than it is to worry about our vacation. Life can sometimes interfere with our plans. All we can do is adjust to the situation. That's what we did at State when Sean was attacked. How many people put their lives on hold so that they could help Ryan and Sean?"

Ellen Taylor cleared her throat, looked at her husband, sighed and said,

"Life can throw many curves. What you gain as you live longer is to learn how to hit the curve balls that are thrown at you. It takes a little living to learn that, but it comes to everyone. We learned that early in our marriage, after Ryan was born. We wanted another child, but for medical reasons, we were told that we couldn't conceive again. We tried, but the doctors were right, we were not able to have that child."

Gerry Taylor looked at his wife, his eyes watery with tears and added,

"That's why when we met Sean and saw how much Ryan loved him, it was, frankly, like having that second child we had wanted so badly. Sean is everything a parent would want in a son. He made our family complete. That's why we are so troubled by the phone call. Let's hope that it isn't anything bad."

I knew that Rog was ready to say something profound or troubling, because he had that look, which after our years together I understood preceded the announcement. I kidded him sometime telling him I awaited the Papal Bull. He liked that humor, but it didn't stop him from speaking seriously and from the heart. Rog looked at me and I smiled acknowledgment of what was coming. He spoke softly, almost in a whisper,

"Ellen and Gerry, I can't even begin to understand the sadness and frustration you had to endure when you couldn't have that second child. I do thank God that Sean came along to make Ryan's life happy. That you love him as a son is obvious. I know that life can be difficult. In my own life there was a tragedy of monumental proportions. I have never talked about this, not even to my wonderful partner here. I feel compelled to tell you three about it now.

"I was fourteen and had been playing the piano since I was four. I had the best teachers my parents could afford. We were looking at Juilliard as a college for me. I had friends and was happy, fun loving and a jokester. Anyway, my grandfather and grandmother drove to our home in New Hampshire from their winter home in Florida for Thanksgiving. They arrived a week before the holiday. I had piano lessons on Tuesday night, so they decided to take me to my lesson and then go grocery shopping for the holiday. My mother was with us, but Dad had work to do around the house, so he stayed home.

"We laughed and kidded around on the ride to my piano lesson. I gave them all hugs and kisses and laughing at my grandfather's joke about turkeys, I headed into my lesson. The lesson went well, and my teacher, Mr. Stuart, was pleased with my improvement and my growing maturity as a pianist. My lesson ended and I waited to be picked up by grandpa. I waited for over an hour and decided to call my dad. I interrupted another student's lesson to seek permission to use the telephone. I called home, but there was no answer. I tried repeatedly, but still no answer. Finally, Mr. Stuart finished with the other lesson and came into the sitting room. He asked what was going on and I told him I couldn't reach my dad who was at home. He suggested that he drive me home so that I could see what was going on there. I agreed.

"The weather was terrible by that hour. It was extremely cold and the snow was falling rapidly. Visibility was terrible, and the roads were snow covered, slick and hadn't been cleared. It took us a long time to get to the house, and by that time I was a wreck. Why hadn't Grandpa picked me up? Where was Dad? Mr. Stuart knew I was getting emotional and worried, so he tried his best to calm me down. When we got to the house, it seemed every light in the house was on, and there were strange cars in the drive.

"I ran from the car to the house and was about to enter the house when a burly policeman stopped me and asked who I was. After I told him, I noticed the change in his demeanor. Suddenly he was like a father, not a policeman. He told me to wait with him, that he would take me into the house at the appropriate time. I begged him to tell me what was the matter, but he simply stopped talking. By this time I was frantic; I knew something terrible had happened. Then the door opened and it was Reverend Clarkson. He came to me and told me what I hoped I would never hear, not in ten lifetimes. My father was so distraught, he told me, that he couldn't tell me himself. My mother, grandmother, and grandfather had all been killed in an automobile accident."

At this point in his story telling, tears began to show in Rog's eyes. I was devastated since all I knew was that his mother had died. There had been an audible gasp from Ellen Taylor. She maintained her composure and expressed her sympathy by walking to Rog and hugging him tightly as she told him,

"My dear Rog, I am so sorry. What a difficult time that must have been. You poor man."

"So sorry, Rog. What a terrible thing to have happen," Gerry added.

I moved to Rog and took him into my arms, kissing him lightly and telling him,

"Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart. All I knew was that your mother died.
God, Rog, I don't know what to say."

"I appreciate your concern, all of you, but I haven't finished. I broke down and cried as the reverend gave me what few details he could of the accident. I pulled myself away from him and ran like the devil was chasing me into the field behind the house, running until I reached the tree line and there falling onto the ground which I pounded with both fists as I screamed, 'No, no, no, no!' and sobbed. My body was shaking both from the cold and from my sobbing. I felt a pair of strong hands pick me up like I was a baby. It was my Uncle Clarence, my mother's brother. He carried me in his arms to the house.

"Inside, there were other relatives, some I knew well, like Aunt Corine, Uncle Clarence's wife, and some only slightly, like my Dad's sister, Evelyn. No one really spoke to me. Uncle Clarence ignored them all, and lumbered up the stairs, taking me to my bedroom. 'You need sleep, Rog. You're too tired and distraught to deal with this right now,' he said softly and helped me get ready for bed. When I was tucked in, he sat in a chair by the bed with all the lights on. 'I will stay with you, Rog. Get some sleep. I won't leave you alone,' He spoke quietly. I just cried some more, but finally my exhaustion took over and I fell into a fitful sleep.

"The next few days were a blur for me. People, hundreds of them it seemed, appeared at the house with food, plants, flowers, everything. My dad was the shell of the man he had been before the accident. I knew he was drinking heavily, and he only spoke to me occasionally. He didn't say one word to me about the accident. All he said to me was the same thing time after time after time. 'What am I going to do without your mother?' Uncle Clarence and Aunt Corine supported me.

"I doubted I could make it through the funerals, but I did. It was awful, and I guess I was in some state of suspended emotional state, as I couldn't even cry. I know the doctor had given me some medication to keep me calm. I felt like a zombie. I had no feelings for anything. Aunt Corine kept hugging me and telling me she would be there for me and so would Uncle Clarence; but I didn't care.

"After the funeral, I went back to the house, where relatives and friends had gathered. It was torture. I made it through the madness, and finally, as Aunt Carine and Uncle Clarence left for the night. There was just me and dad and the big empty house. That's when I decided I didn't want to live anymore.

"I went to my dad's bedroom and said good night. Then I went into the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. I stripped and got into the tub. I took the razor and slit my wrists. The blood flowed out and the water began to take on a pinkish color. I relaxed and imagined my journey to God and to my mother, my grandmother and my grandfather."

I was crying by then, my tears making it difficult to see my lover. Me, this big hulking guy, crying like a baby. I was not alone as Ellen and Gerry were also moved to tears. I didn't know what to do, so I just took Rog into my arms and held him. We wept together about things past. Rog moved out of my arms and whispered into my ear,

"I have to finish, Greg. I have to finish."

"Okay," I choked out. Rog continued,

"My father saved me. He had gone to my room to be sure that I was okay for the night. When he couldn't find me, he called out to me, but I didn't answer, as I didn't hear him. He saw the light under the door to the bathroom and opened the door and found me bleeding out my sorrow in a tub of tepid water. All I remember is waking up in a hospital bed with my wrists bandaged and restraining straps keeping me in the bed. My dad sat by the bed, his eyes red and swollen from weeping. When he saw me open my eyes, he placed his head on my chest and wept. He kept saying, 'Thank God. Thank God, I didn't lose you, too.'

"After some rehabilitation and counseling, I returned to my life. My piano saved me from insanity because I escaped into it, More and more it became the anchor in my life. My Dad loved me dearly, until he died as an old man. He found a way with the insurance money, the house in Florida, and other things, to send me to Juilliard. I thought of being a concert pianist, but then I realized that God had saved me for something else; I was to teach. I was to help other broken hearts mend. I was to show students the way to self-realization, to self-love, to understanding life a little better through music. That has been the aim of my life, the love of my professional life. And one of the successes of my life has been Sean. He has made it all worthwhile."

The room was silent, and I was dumbfounded to discover this about my lover. Such pain he had known. Such loss he had endured. Such caring and love he showed to his students. I loved him so much anyway, but at this moment, I thought I would collapse, my love for him was so intense.

"Why didn't you tell me, Rog. I love you," I told him..

He smiled directly at me as if I were the only person in the room," Greg, you, are my lover, and I didn't tell you because I was ashamed."

"Rog, why would you be ashamed to tell me. I'm your partner for life." I said.

Rog stared at the floor for a minute, took my hand and told me,

"Greg, I assure you that I have no other secrets about my life. I apologize for not telling you this before now, but I wasn't sure that I would be able to get through it. Thank you for understanding and especially for loving me." And he hugged me and we kissed deeply and tenderly as only two lovers can.

Gerry and Ellen, who had fallen silent, but responded by joining our hug, telling Rog how much they loved him and how sorry they were that he had to suffer such sorrow. Our group hug was interrupted when Ry and Sean came into the living room.

********

(Ryan narrates)

When we entered the room, we were surprised to see the four of them sharing a hug. Their tear-stained eyes bore witness to the fact that something important and moving had happened while we were away. I wanted to ask about it, but I quickly decided not to at that moment. I leaned in and whispered a caution to Sean that he not ask any questions. We would wait for them to tell us what had happened.

Mom moved away from the group and to us. She could tell that Sean was still upset. She hugged him and said,

"I hope everything is okay, Sean."

I started to answer, hoping to save him from having to talk about what was going on. I knew his emotional state was so fragile that he would quickly lose control. I said to Mom,

"There's a problem at the cabin in Vermont. Work has stopped and we have to do something to correct the situation, or the construction of our new house will be delayed."

Dad had walked over to us and had heard what I had told Mom. He gave me a supportive look and asked,

"What seems to be the problem, Ryan?"

"It's pretty complicated, Dad. It will take some time to explain it all to you. Sean and I want to do that, but maybe right now isn't the best time," I told him.

Greg and Rog were now standing in our group. They looked concerned, especially as they could see how upset Sean was. I was about to say something about discussing it in the morning when Sean blurted out,

"It's my fault. I'm the cause of the problem. I hear my parents. They come to me to tell me things. It started quite a while ago. I'm not losing my mind; I'm not! You have to believe me!"

Greg asked, with a strong feeling of disbelief in his voice,

"For God's sake, Sean, do you see ghosts."

With tears running down his pale, frightened face, the most special person in my life cried out,

"No, I don't see ghosts! I talk to them."

To be continued...

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