The Professor and Sean I
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2006 by the author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 1

I

Can you imagine? I fell in love at a Walgreen's Drugstore.

My name is Ryan Taylor I am a thirty-two year old college professor of literature at a small New England college. I only have had my Phd for three years. I was hired six years ago and if I make it through this year without any problems, I am up for tenure and a full professorship. Right now I am an associate professor, a euphemism for "not a full-fledged member of the team." It's part of the collegiate mentality: you are only as good as what you can produce in the literature. I work very hard, love what I do, and I am a good teacher; that's why I have stayed here for six years.

I am reasonably good looking, according to a number of friends, both male and female. I have never married - I haven't had time for one reason, but the real reason is that I prefer men - I am gay.

I am six feet tall, have brown hair, which I keep short, and green eyes. I keep in shape, so my body is toned; I have a flat, hard stomach ( I guess that's six pack abs) For those interested, I am amply endowed. I was born on May 22, 1971, the only child of middle class parents. I was given most things that I needed, but not always what I wanted. My parents had a thing about teeth, so I have beautiful teeth, straight and white. My smile, I have been told, could melt cement. I doubt that. Since I came to the college, I have been a complete celibate. I have only had sex with my right hand.

I had one serious love affair (at least I loved him) when I was twenty. Kevin wanted to have a free relationship with me. That meant we could continue to play the field; after all he had told me, "guys like us need more than one cock to suck and one ass to fuck."

That isn't what I wanted. I desired someone to love me for the long term and I was hoping to find someone I could love forever (I am a romantic). So our relationship ended with no animosity. After that I steeled myself with the notion that I would probably have a long, lonely life devoted to my studies, writing and students.

The only sexual activities I would have would be during vacations when I traveled. But even that hadn't worked out. The years since Kevin and I split up have been bearable. The first few months were terrible because I was still in love with him. He, however, had never really loved me. I shed many tears missing him, missing his arms around me. I missed Kevin making love to me. But he just wanted me for sex. By the way, having the sex with Kevin had been good. I also knew, deep in my heart, that once you love someone, you always loved them.

Since I arrived at the college, I have lived by myself. I have a couple of friends in the English department, and the Department Chair has taken me under her wing. She really wants me to stay, and is trying in all ways to make me want to stay. She is a doll! She is in her late fifties. Cathy Sorenson has her Phd from Harvard and is no push over. My background includes Brown, Yale , the Sorbonne, and Columbia. One of my best friends is Roger Fillimore the Chair of the Music Department.

There are a number of great looking, tempting, sexy males on campus, but I keep reminding myself of what a friend of mine, who was raised on Long Island, told me a long time ago: "Don't shit where you eat." That in part is why I have remained celibate. So far, Cathy hasn't tried to be the matchmaker. I have always suspected that she assumed that I was gay.

I tried to convince myself that my studies, my classes, things intellectual and challenging would keep me occupied and happy. But the truth is that I have been lonely. I have never felt so alone, so unloved. Of course, my folks love me, even after I came out to them. My Dad surprised me the most. When I told them I was gay, all my Dad said to me was this:

"Look Ryan, what I want for you is happiness. If this is what you are, then I still love you. You are my son. I might regret a little that I won't ever have a grandchild with your genes, but I accept that, but only if you are happy and the man you love, loves you strongly, completely and exclusively. And if any bastard ever hurts you, I will rip off his balls and make him eat them." I cried that day because I realized what caring, wonderful, and understanding parents God had blessed me with.

When Kevin and I split up, after almost three years, my folks were concerned. But I put on "a happy face." I led them to believe that I had decided that Kevin wasn't right for me, and so I had called it off. I didn't tell them how many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking about Kevin whom I still loved.

Today I had been correcting and grading papers on Shakespeare's drama, King Lear. Frankly they were not the best that I had ever received and after almost four hours of it, I was beginning to develop a severe headache. I went to the bathroom to get Tylenol but found that there was none. I had no idea why I hadn't bought another bottle. But never mind that. I pulled on a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt (I had been doing my school work in the nude, a favorite habit of mine). I dashed out, got in the car and drove the short distance to the Walgreens to pick up some pain relief. I knew it must be close to closing since it was almost 11PM, so I hurried in and found what I wanted.

As headed to the checkout, I saw him. He was the cashier and he was breathtakingly beautiful. I have always laughed at the people who say that love at first sight happens. I had always thought that was a little crazy, but here I was unable to take my eyes off him. And more serious than that, I started to sport a woodie. His blue eyes were so deeply blue that they invited you in and you could see delight and joy in them. And, my God, his smile - it melted me and he wasn't even smiling at me. I had to get out of there, my erection was getting fuller and I didn't want to be seen like that in a public place.

I discovered that his was the only register open. I had to checkout there. I prayed my erection wouldn't be noticed, but I am sure it was obvious. Thanks goodness it was late so there were no other people in the store. Just me and the Adonis. I was shaking slightly when I put down the Tylenol on the counter. He looked directly at me and smiled. I dropped my wallet on the floor. I reached to pick it up, and I knew instantly, that my old gym shorts were low enough in the back so that the cashier could get a glimpse of my butt.

I asked, "How much?" as I straightened up, now red faced.

The Adonis, said, "$6.98 with tax" and then asked, "Aren't you Dr. Taylor, the Shakespeare professor at the college?"

"Yes, that's me." I handed his a ten dollar bill. "And you are?"

"Oh, I am sorry. My name is Sean Kelley. I am a freshman at State. I've heard about your courses. Everyone who has taken them has such neat things to say about them and about you."

"Well, that's very flattering. You know that my courses are not open to frosh. You can't take one until the second semester of your sophomore year."

Sean smiled a deadly smile at me, and said, "Oh, yes, I know that. I just thought that while you were here I might be able to chat with you a little about your courses. But I can see that it's too late, so I won't bother you."

My heart was beating fast, even my breath was coming in short almost growling sounds. I wanted to take Sean in my arms and kiss him, but, of course, I couldn't.

"Maybe some other time." I heard Sean say.

Inside my head a voice told me, "Don't let him go. You know you want him in your life. Be brave, take life by the balls and do what you want." I put out my hand and Sean placed the change in it, and I was surprised to hear myself ask, "Are you working tomorrow? I know it's Saturday, but clerks often have to work on the weekends. Especially college kids."

"No, Dr. Taylor, I don't work tomorrow or Sunday. I worked all day today and took somebody's shift, so I am off tomorrow. Why?"

"Well," I stammered, "if you, want to, to talk, well, maybe we could get together tomorrow sometime. That's if you don't have any other plans."

"Dr. Taylor, that's super. Yeh, I'd love to be able to talk with you. Where should we meet, the library? I am free all day and tomorrow night. I mean, I just meant to say, I don't have to work tomorrow night."

I thought, "no fuckin library, I want to be alone with Sean." So I said aloud, "Why don't you come by my place for lunch. That way we can have a civilized chat over lunch."

"Sure, that would be wonderful. I'd like that. Sure." stammered my Adonis.

"Here, let me write down my address." I offered.

"Actually, Dr. Taylor, I know exactly where you live. I just am not sure which townhouse you live in."

I must have looked a little astonished, but I added, "My townhouse is 278."

"I can tell you wonder how I know where you live. It was easy, I just looked you up in the faculty register."

"And, why, Sean, did you do that?"

"Because, I guess, I thought if I could ever get up enough courage I might ring the bell and ask you to tell me about your courses. But I didn't have the courage to do that. And then tonight I saw you here, and I knew that I had to ask you. I'm sorry. It was very forward of me."

"No, no, forget it. How's eleven o'clock with you?"

"That would be perfect." and he smiled again at me. "See you then."

It was then I noticed that he had kept his hand touching mine when he returned the change to me, and that we had stood there like that throughout our conversation. I moved my hand away and picked up the bag. I said, "See you tomorrow. Night!" and left.

When I got in the car, I discovered I was shaking. I was just a wreck. I wondered if Sean noticed it. How could he not? I behaved like a kid who was caught doing something naughty. I calmed myself. My god, he's so fuckin beautiful, and I think he likes me. I think he wants to be with me, at least to talk. I started the car and as I did, I noticed the lights go dim in the store. I put the car in drive and was just about to leave when I saw Sean come out of the store and begin to walk toward campus.

I rolled down the window, and called, "Sean, you need a ride to the dorm, I am headed that way?"

"That would be super, Dr. Taylor," he said as he jogged to the car, got in and closed the door. He turned to me after fastening his seat belt, and smiled, and said, "You are a real nice guy. Thanks for thinking of me."

And we drove out of the parking lot.

II

I drove out of the parking lot and onto the main road toward the campus - beyond that was my townhouse. I wasn't going out of my way. Sean shouldn't suspect that I just wanted to be near him for as long as I could. My heart was thumping and I wondered if Sean could hear it. There was silence in the car, and the only sound came from the engine and the noise of passing cars. I stopped at the light where I would take a left to bring Sean to his dorm. As we waited for the light, I swore I felt Sean's leg press against mine. I had to be crazy. But I couldn't let the moment pass, so I applied a little pressure to his leg and he didn't move it. So I pushed a little more, and my god, he pressed back against mine. I looked at him and he smiled, but not Sean's usual strong smile; this one was a little uncertain. I smiled back. The light changed. Sean's hand was on my leg. Sean looked straight ahead. I didn't know what to say, what to ask. I knew I wanted him, but I didn't know how to ask him.

Then Sean spoke, in a very soft whisper. "Dr. Taylor, can I, may I go home with you?"

I thought I would pass out. I didn't answer for the longest time. Finally, I replied, "Yes, I would love to have you come to my place tonight. We can talk, we can...." My speech was interrupted by the light changing to green. I turned and drove down the street.

"Dr. Taylor, are you okay? You're so quiet. I have upset you in some way. I'm sorry. Please let me out, I can walk the rest of the way. I need to think about being such an asshole."

"Sean, I'm sorry. You didn't do anything that I didn't want you to do. I wanted you to come home with me, but I didn't know how to approach it. You are young, and I am older, and I should make you get out of the car right this moment. But, I want you with me. Please, don't ask me to stop and let you off. Please." I begged.

Sean leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I have watched you and tried to figure out a way to get near you since I saw you at orientation convocation. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

I knew there were tears running down my cheeks. I tried to get myself under control, but I couldn't. I was having trouble seeing, so I pulled into a deserted parking lot. I stopped the car. Before I knew it I was in Sean's arms.

"I'm a fool, Sean. But I am so happy. I have been lonely."

Sean was stroking my hair and my head was on my shoulder. He spoke to me in the quietest sexiest voice I ever heard, "It's okay, Dr. Taylor, I'm here. It's okay."

Suddenly I was laughing, laughing very hard. Sean looked at me in great distress. "What did I do, Dr. Taylor, what did I say?" he implored.

Between gasps of breath, I told him, "Don't you ever call me Dr. Taylor again, unless you are in my class or we are with people who need to hear you call me that. I want you to call me Ryan. That's my name, Ryan. You understand?" And with that outburst, I reached over to Sean, pulled him to me, and kissed him with a gentle caring kiss on his lips..

He didn't pull away from me, but he kept the kiss soft and gentle. He pulled away from me just to say, "Ryan, let's go home."

I drove like a madman for the next two miles, pulled into the parking lot of my building, got out of the car, took Sean by the hand and headed to the building. We were quickly at the door of my townhouse, I unlocked it, pulled Sean inside, closed the door and grabbed Sean and pulled him into my arms. He was so warm, so beautiful, and his scent was like a potion to me. I kissed him hard and my tongue asked for admission to his mouth and he gave me entry. I wanted to eat him alive. My hands were all over him, and he was pawing at me. Finally we came up for air.

Sean, quickly told me, "Ryan, I have wanted to be in your arms, to kiss you, to love you since I first saw you. I fell in love with you that first day. I have been going crazy since then. I jerkoff at night with you as my fantasy. I think about you when I should be studying, practicing piano, doing my laundry. Whatever I try to do, you are there." I smiled and kissed Sean gently on his cheek.

Sean continued, "I can't and I don't want to escape. I don't want you to think I am a slut. I need you to know that it isn't just sex, although you are so hot, but I want someone to love me. Someone to hold me when I am hurting, someone who will protect me from myself and others. I need someone like you, Ryan. I love you." And tears were running down his cheeks.

"Sean, baby, I do love you. I fell in love with you tonight, the first time I saw you. I wanted you then. Didn't you see my erection in the store? You are so beautiful, why did you think I wouldn't want you? I need you , too. You already comforted me tonight. Those weren't tears of sorrow. Those were tears of joy. I have been lonely."

Sean hugged me tightly and caressed my back. I continued.

"I need someone to hug me, to wish me a good morning. I want someone to welcome me home at night. I want someone to share my bed and make love to me. I want someone to whom I can make love. I want someone in my arms when I wake up in the morning. I found that someone. It's you, Sean."

I kissed Sean's ear and whispered into his ear what I wanted to tell him from the moment I met him. "And nothing in this world would ever let me give you up or let anyone take you from me. I want to be your lover, your partner, the person who is most important in your life. Sean, I have waited a good part of my young life for you. And now that I have found you, I am not going to let you go."

Sean was smiling his killer smile at me and his eyes met mine and I could see only love in them.

I told Sean, "So get used to me telling you that I love you. Get used to me asking you to make love to me. Get used to me making love to you. I want you in my life. I want you everywhere and anywhere I go. And, Sean, my beautiful lover, I don't care who knows I love you. Listen, I love you. I love you. I love you."

Sean stayed in my arms. He hugged me deeply. He soothed me by softly telling me, "I have waited all my life for someone to say what you just said to me. I have needed love for a long time. I have known I was gay since I was 11 years old. And except for hand action, I have never had sex with a man before. I am a virgin, Ryan, and I want to be yours, anyway you want to take me. I am your lover. We need to talk before anything else happens."

I flicked on the entry light. I told him, "Sean, I don't want to let go of you. You feel so right in my arms. Please, stay. Please put up with me." Sean kissed me lightly on the lips and said softly and full of love,

"Shut up, Ryan. Shut up, lover. I am not going anywhere."

I finally let Sean out of my arms and moved into the living room and put on some lights. Then I reached for Sean's hand and clasped it tightly as we walked into the kitchen. "You must be starved. You worked all day. You need some nourishment. I want you strong. I have some evil plans." I laughed.

"Yeh, I am very hungry." He encircled me in his arms and kissed the back of my neck. "I'm not sure what I want to eat first, something you cook for me or you." he added with a huge smile. I had turned to face him and I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"All good things come to those who wait," I said.

"That's bullshit! Oh, sorry Dr....oops, Ryan, didn't mean to say that."

"You better not call me Dr. anything, or I will fuck the daylights out of you right here on the kitchen counter."

"My goodness, what was that that these tender, unspoiled ears have just heard? 'Fuck' is such a vulgar term, Ryan. I am surprised at you. If we don't stop this kissing and feeling, I am going to throw you on the floor and fuck you for hours, understand. And, by the way, I don't even know what I would be doing."

We were both laughing now. And we hugged in good humor. We broke the hug and I moved to the frig, and Sean sat on a stool at the counter. We were both a little disheveled. I started getting out sandwich fixings and began to create my own version of a Dagwood sandwich masterpiece. All the time I was aware of Sean's eyes following me.

Sean started talking, "The reason we have to talk is because I need to tell you some of my past. You may not want me when you hear everything about me."

"There is nothing that you could tell me what would make me not want you. I told you, Sean, I love you." But I wondered to myself, "What on earth could he need to tell me that was so important?" but I didn't interrupt again.

Sean continued, "I was born in a very small town in Vermont. I had a wonderful mother and father. They loved me and I loved them , too. I was just six years old when it happened. They were both killed in an automobile accident. I was left alone. Father O'Rourke helped me through those terrible times. He tried to make me understand that God wasn't angry at me. He told me that God didn't plan the accident. The drunk driver in the other car had made some bad decisions. The result of those decisions, drinking too much, driving while drunk: those were the reasons for the accident. I didn't want to accept that then, but over the years I began to understand what he meant. I haven't seen him in nearly 15 years.

"Arrangements had all been made through a family lawyer: If anything happened to my Mom and Dad, my Uncle Jesse and Aunt Emily were to raise me. There was insurance money that was to be used to raise me, and there was enough to take care of my education. I discovered later that there was no money left. Ryan, my uncle spent all the money, mostly on gambling and get rich schemes. There was nothing left for my education. Not a fuckin' cent!

"And I wasn't treated very well, either. I seldom had new clothes. I sometimes outgrew them and had to wait until Aunt Emily had enough money saved to buy me new clothes. I was always clean as were my clothes. Jesse had high expectations for me. He worked me hard around the house, expected perfect grades, and wanted me to be as good an athlete as my dad, his brother had been."

I stopped making the sandwich and look intently at Sean. I could see fear in his eyes. I wondered, "What the hell happened to this guy?"

"But there was no comparison between him and my dad." Sean said. "My dad was gentle and loving. Jesse was not. He didn't hesitate to beat on me when I didn't please him. Thank God I was a good student, and I also did reasonably well at athletics, so I never had too much trouble with him. At least not in the early years."

I was silent, but wished the bastard were here so I could kick his ass.

"A very bad time with him happened when I was almost 14. It was late at night and I was in bed in my room. I had a small light on. I had thrown the covers back and had taken my cock out of my shorts and was jerking myself. I was really into it, and I opened my eyes and Jesse was standing there. His face was red and all I could see was hatred in his eyes. He yelled at me. "You fuckin faggot, you stop that shit right now. None of that shit will go on under my roof."

I really couldn't believe my ears. How could this be true?

"He grabbed me and started beating on me. He was beating me really bad when the noise awakened Aunt Emily. She came rushing into the room and with a lot of effort, she got Jesse to stop. By that time I was bleeding from my nose, my left arm was numb and I couldn't move my fingers. I had huge welts on my back and stomach where he had punched me with such force. I was a mess. Aunt Emily was beside herself."

I walked to Sean and took him into my arms, "I don't know what to say. How could your uncle be so cruel? I am sorry. You deserved love growing up." Sean continued his story.

"They had to take me to the emergency room. Jesse decided to tell the doctors that I had fallen down a long flight of stairs and had bumped into some furniture and other things and that accounted for the bruises. Jesse warned me what would happen if I didn't go along with his story. I knew I couldn't take that kind of punishment again, so I went along with it. I don't think the doctors believed it all. I had a broken left arm, in two places, my liver and spleen had been bruised, my nose was in touch shape, and I had a slight concussion."

I gasped when I heard those awful details. An uncle beating his own brother's son.

"Ryan, I hated him so much! All I wanted to do was kill him. I thought about it all the time. How would I kill him? When would be the best time? Where would be the best place? Was I clever enough to make it look like an accident.?"

"I can understand your hatred, Sean. Please tell me the rest, if you can and want to tell me." I said.

"My Aunt Emily thought she was helping me by telling me that he beat on her, too. Ryan, that just made me more fucking angry. I didn't know what to do. But God solved it for me. Uncle Jesse dropped dead at work on my 15th birthday. Ryan, I hadn't wished for it, or prayed for it, but I was glad, I am ashamed to say so but I was happy he was dead. The bastard had no right to beat on me or Aunt Emily."

Sean had tears in his eyes. I went to him again and hugged him and kissed him gently on the forehead. He went on.

"Aunt Emily became more detached from me after the funeral. She somehow missed Jesse after his death. As time went on, we began to have financial problems. Without Jesse's salary from work, any money that was left was soon gone. Finally, Aunt Emily had to go on welfare. Even after that there wasn't much food. My clothes were a wreck. I took a lot of shit from buddies about my clothes. But they didn't know I was gay. I took it all. I did my crying alone at night. I wanted my Dad and Mom to come back and just hug me once, just once. I needed someone, but there was no one."

Tears were now sliding down Sean's face. He struggled on.

"I dreaded the fact that graduation was coming. I had no money to ask a date to the prom. I didn't really care about that except everyone thought I should. I knew I was gay. I had known for a long time. I spent extra time in the locker room and the shower just so I could check out other guys. I wanted to see their cocks and admire their asses. But I only looked and my lonesomeness got worst."

Now it was my turn. I fought them, fought them hard, but tears were forming in my eyes. I didn't want to cry now. Sean needed comfort, not a weeping wimp. Sean's voice was cracking.

"I was ready to kill myself. I had written the note. I had decided to hang myself in the garage. I knew no one would care. It was like a miracle. My senior English teacher, Mrs. Foster, asked me to see her after school. She wanted to talk to me."

I know I had a look of questioning on my face. How could an English teacher help Sean?

Sean told me, "When I got there she asked me what was the matter. I broke down and told her the whole ugly story. She stood by my desk and patted my head. Then she went to her desk and got her purse. She handed me $200. She wanted me to go to the prom, to get some new clothes for graduation. She wanted me to take Aunt Emily out for dinner. I just cried and cried. She just hugged me until I got control of myself."

There was no hiding my tears now. They were flowing as I thought about this wonderful young man. It must have been a terrible life. "Thank God for Mrs. Foster." I thought. Sean blew his nose and wiped his tear-filled eyes and continued with his saga.

"She then told me that she had submitted my name to a group in the state that helped poorer kids get an education. It wouldn't be announced until later, but I had received a full scholarship to State. All I had to do was earn some money for housing and meals. So I worked harder, longer hours, and I had enough for my first year. I was okay about it all." I was hugging Sean as he continued.

"I came here just two weeks ago, and what happens? I fall in love with you. So now I can't keep my mind on classes or work or anything. And I kept telling myself to forget it. I didn't know if you were married at that time. I found out later you were not married; someone at work told me. And then I figured that a hunk like you would never be without a lover if you were gay. And in addition to that, why would you want me, I certainly am no prize, and...... I"

I placed my hand gently but firmly over Sean's mouth. I kissed his forehead and told him.

"Sean, look, I''m sorry for the terrible things that happened, but I can't do anything about that. All I can do is promise you, that while you are with me, no one will hurt you again. You will never be hungry, lack for clothes or anything else. Look, silly, I love you so much it hurts me. It's a wonderful hurt because it's caused by love. I have never had sex with you, although I have thought about it more than once tonight. But that doesn't matter, I still love you. Do you understand, baby, I LOVE YOU! " Sean was crying. Why are you crying, Sean?"

"Because," he said between muted sobs, "this is the only time in my life since my folks were killed, that anyone has wanted me. I feel loved and safe with you, Ryan." He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him and he cried into my abs. I let him cry until he had gotten rid of all his sadness, all his hatred. Finally he stopped. I lifted his face and kissed him deeply.

"My god, Sean, I love you more now than even before. You need to eat. You need to get your strength because as I told you earlier I have evil plans."

He laughed, picked up half of one of my masterpiece sandwiches and started to devour it.. I took a beer from the frig, opened it and put it in front of him. He smiled that killer smile of his and my heart jumped a beat. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"So," he said, "are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?"

"You bet I am. I told you I had evil plans."

"Fine, do your magic on me as if you didn't already know you have me in your power. But before you continue with your evil plan, would you have another sandwich around. I'm a growing boy you know; I'm only 19. I need my nourishment."

I handed him another sandwich and watched him eat. He smiled at me every so often, and I found my desire for him increasing each minute. He was beautiful. His curly blond hair, his beautiful eyes. His body was well proportioned. I let myself imagine him naked. My cock was rising to the occasion.

Sean smiled at me and teased, "You know, Ryan, you're undressing me with your eyes."

"I am not, Sean."

"I think you are, doc" he giggled. And in one swift motion, his shirt was on the floor and I could gaze at his beautiful chest. His skin looked velvet soft. Oh, how I wanted to touch it. His nipples were large and begged to be sucked. "You like what you see, Ryan?"

"Yes!" was all I could say. Sean finished. He got up, switched off the kitchen lights and moved to me.

"I want to see you, too." He started to pull off my t-shirt - I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head. He stepped back and looked intently at me.

He sucked in his breath and softly told me in a husky sexy voice, "Ryan, you are more beautiful than I could imagine. Let's go to bed. Please."

Sean didn't have to ask more than once. I took him by the hand and led him to our bedroom.

To be continued...

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All 52 Chapters Posted: 07/13/07