Rumspringa

By: Morris Henderson
(© 2011 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 1

The Amish are an admirable people.  One must not think of them as strange anachronisms that wear odd clothes and are trying to live in the twenty-first century as though it were the eighteenth century.   They are industrious and often entrepreneurial.  They are devout but do not force their beliefs on others.  They are compassionate in helping others in need both inside and outside of their community.  They have strong family values that give every member a sense of belonging and being loved.  They are never prideful or arrogant nor do they lust after the ostentations of material wealth.

One of their practices that is particularly admirable is rumspringa in which young adults (usually 16 to 18 years old) are allowed to leave the strict routine of family and community to live among the “English” (the term they use to refer to non-Amish).  During this period, they are exempt from Ordnung (rules of the church) and can therefore experience life outside the community including the use of electricity, wearing non-traditional clothing, driving vehicles other than a horse-drawn buggy, not having to attend home prayer, drinking alcohol or even trying drugs, and engaging in premarital sex.  Typically, they do not commit the serious offenses more common in the “English” community.

Why is rumspringa such a good idea?  The rationale is that the individual, having reached, or at least is on the brink of, full maturity, has the freedom to decide how to live the rest of his or her life — either in or outside of the demands of Ordnung.  Every member of the Amish community has the chance to make a conscious and informed decision about his or her future.  In practice, a vast majority choose to return to the Amish community to be baptized, become an adherent of the faith, eventually marry (always within the faith), raise a family, and carry on centuries-old traditions.  Those who choose not to return are not condemned, although parents may be saddened by their progeny’s choice.

In principle and practice, therefore, rumspringa is effective.  But not always.  Such was the case of Jeremiah who, at the age of thirteen, began to sense that something about himself was different.  And possibly wrong.  As an expected consequence of puberty, he developed a compelling curiosity about his and others’ bodies ... specifically the area between navel and knees ... and about sex and procreation.  He knew, of course, how livestock and wildlife mated but could only speculate about how humans engaged in intercourse.

Most troublesome was that by fourteen his interest was focused almost exclusively on his own and others’ penises.  He tried — unsuccessfully — to explain it away as normal curiosity.  But why did it consume his thoughts?  Especially when he saw Isaac, a boy his age from a neighboring farm and who seemed to be the embodiment of masculinity.  Why did he not experience similar feelings when he saw girls and young women?  Wouldn’t that be the natural reaction to a shapely female form?

When he was fifteen, he accidentally discovered the sensual pleasure of masturbation one night as his hormones compelled his hand to fondle and stroke his penis that had grown from a little boy’s stub to a sizable appendage between his legs.  It felt good!  He had done it often, usually just before going to sleep but increasingly when he was alone in the barn or the fields.  He wondered if Isaac did the same and concluded that surely he must.  As he continued to stroke his rigid penis, the image of Isaac dominated his thinking.  The sensations emanating from his crotch intensified as he saw in his mind's eye his friend pulling down his pants and underwear and stroking his stiff penis.  The image magnified the pleasure he felt and he unconsciously pumped his erection faster.  He was paying more attention to his fantasy than to himself when suddenly a totally new sensation burst into his consciousness.  His penis became tender, tensed, and spewed several volleys of hot, white cream that formed a rivulet from his left nipple to his navel.  His heart beat faster; his breath became short, shallow, and rapid; and several simultaneous bolts of lightening radiated from his pelvic area throughout his body.

He lay motionless for a long time contemplating what had just happened.  He knew all about sperm and semen as it applied to livestock so he also knew what had been ejected from his penis.  He didn’t know, however, how wonderful it felt!  Eventually, his thoughts turned to whether it was right or wrong to stimulate one’s self to the point of ejaculation.  Whether by logic or rationalization he arrived at a conclusion.  No one had told him not to do it although there were countless other things he had learned from his parents about what to do and what not to do in order to be a good, God-fearing person.  Moreover, it felt good.  How could something that feels so good be bad?  Would God have given man such a means of pleasure if it was somehow evil?  (He conveniently ignored or was ignorant of the many addictive vices prevalent in the outside world that God would condemn or punish.)

Ultimately, he realized that there was a mess on his chest and abdomen.  What could be done about that?  He could wipe it off with his handkerchief but his mother would notice when she did the laundry.  Although he had convinced himself it wasn’t wrong, a large part of him wanted to keep it a secret, especially from his mother.  What to do?  How to dispose of it?  It came from his body, he reasoned.  He would return it to his body.  There could be no harm in that!  He scooped up two fingers full and transferred the creamy liquid to his mouth.  It tasted AWFUL!  Not like his mother’s vanilla pudding or creamy gravy.  By the time he had cleaned up the last little bit the taste was more tolerable.  He didn’t know it at the time but he would quickly learn to enjoy the taste and consider it an appropriate finale to the whole ritual of self-stimulation.

Masturbation became a frequent and important part of young Jeremiah’s life.  He had no inkling that the accompanying mental image of Isaac foreshadowed a crisis in his life that lay ahead.

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Two years later his father took the young teen aside and said, “I think it’s time for your rumspringa.  You know what that is and how important it will be to your future — either here or in the outside world.”

“But don’t you need me here to help with the farm?” Jeremiah asked.  “How can you get the fields ready for planting?  Shouldn’t we postpone my rumspringa?”

“No,” his father replied without hesitation.  “It’s time.  Your little brother is as old as you were when you began to help.”

Jeremiah knew better than to disagree with his father.  In fact, it had been risky to challenge him with the questions he asked.  “If you say so, sir,” he obediently replied.

“I’ve spoken to Isaiah.  He suggested that you and his son, Isaac, leave together.  It’s a good idea.  You and he will both be better able to cope with English ways if you have each other to lean on.  At least for a while.”

“Yes, sir,” Jeremiah said, agreeing with his father’s decision entirely because it was habitual to do so.  But inwardly, he had serious reservations.  It was one thing to fantasize about the neighbor boy but constantly being with him might easily be something he could not handle.  Could he conceal his attraction?  If not, what would be the consequences?

“Isaiah has a distant cousin who lives just north of Akron,” his father continued. “He’s agreed to come to Millersburg next Saturday and take you to his house.  He has a spare bedroom you two can use until you find jobs and another place to stay.”

“Next Saturday?” Jeremiah exclaimed without thinking.  “Isn’t that a little soon?”

“It’s all arranged,” his father said with a finality that precluded dissent.  “You have four days to get together the things you’ll need to take with you.”

Saturday brought heavily overcast skies that further depressed Jeremiah’s mood.  He was leaving the comfort and security of the only home and environment he had known for seventeen years.  To face what?  That question caused more than a little apprehension.  He hid his reluctance at leaving because he knew that it was something he was expected to do.  He had known that for a long time but the reality of departing weighed heavily on his mind.

Jeremiah felt strangely uncomfortable as he put on chino trousers and a plaid shirt that were more appropriate for the unknown territory he would be going to.  He looked longingly at the work boots that were his customary footwear even for Sunday services but slipped on socks and “street shoes” that made him feel even stranger.

The farewells with his family were brief.  His father said little.  His mother tried unsuccessfully to hide her tears as she hugged her son and said, “May God look after you and bring you home.”  The meaning was clear.  It was a plea to resist the temptations of the world and choose to return for baptism, marriage, and full integration into the Community of the Faithful.

Soon after Isaac arrived, having walked the half-mile from his home, the two boys and Jeremiah’s father climbed into the buggy for the ride into Millersburg where they were to meet Jason Sanders who would whisk them off to the alien world of Akron, Ohio.  The two boys spoke guardedly about the adventure that awaited them, not wanting to reveal their deep-seated excitement about experiencing the wonders of modern technology and lifestyles.  Jeremiah, with considerable effort, managed to conceal his admiration of — and attraction to — Isaac.

As arranged, Jason Sanders was waiting in his SUV at the edge of the parking lot of a large barn/gift shop on the outskirts of Millersburg.  Following only short introductions and farewells, the two boys transferred their luggage to the SUV and settled into the back seat.  It was the first time for both of them to be in any motorized vehicle and, when they reached highway 241 that headed northeast toward Akron, they were somewhat uneasy with the speed of travel.  Neither, of course, would admit that and they soon became accustomed to the pace.

Conversation on the trip was lively with Jason taking the lead, asking questions and offering information about life in “the big city.”  The boys were content to respond briefly to questions but hesitant to ask any of their own.  Better not to reveal their ignorance of “English” ways even though Jason would most certainly have understood.

Upon arriving at a two-story brick house on a half-acre lot in a new housing plat on the outskirts of Akron, Jason said, “Here we are — your home away from home for a while.”  He escorted the boys upstairs to the spare bedroom and said, “Here’s your room.  Get settled in while I fix lunch.  I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

Jeremiah’s first impression of the spare bedroom was the double bed.  “Lordy!” he thought.  “I’ll be sleeping in the same bed as Isaac!  It’s one thing to imagine him when I masturbate but quite another to be actually lying next to him.”  His future bedmate, however, had no such thought; he had been sharing a bed with his brother for years.

After unpacking their things the two boys went downstairs to the kitchen where Jason was preparing lunch.  They marveled at the electric appliances he used and how much more quickly and easily he had lunch on the table.  Jason (who had long ago chosen to leave the Amish community after rumspringa) was a non-denominational Christian and offered a simple but heartfelt blessing: "Father, we thank you for this meal. May it be used for the nourishment of our bodies.  In Jesus name, Amen."  As they ate, they continued their conversation — this time mostly about the public transportation that would take them anywhere in the city they wanted to go and about places to look for work.  Significantly, Jason said, “Isaac, I told your father that you could stay here until you found other accommodations but I’ve changed my mind.  You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.  My kids are all grown and moved out.  And since my wife died last year I’ve found that rattling around this big house by myself can get very lonely.  Having you two here will be welcome company.”

The invitation solved a major problem that the boys had worried about and they gratefully accepted the offer.  After prolonged negotiation, Jason agreed to accept a nominal weekly rent that he knew would hardly cover the food that two healthy teens would consume.

The afternoon and early evening was spent with a tour of Akron.  Jason pointed out the bus stop a half mile from the house and explained which bus would take them to the center of the city.  In the downtown district, Jason was quick to identify areas to be avoided and others that were safe.  “Of course,” he added, “once you’re accustomed to navigating around the city you can use your own judgment.”  As they drove around, Jason pulled over to the curb and stopped.  “There are some places you never want to venture into.  Like that bar over there.  Oh, I know, you’ll want to experiment with alcohol but not in that place.  It’s a hangout for queers, especially on Friday and Saturday nights.  Young studs like you are desirable prey for the predators that hang out looking for ... well ... It’s just something that you don’t want to do.”

Jeremiah didn’t understand since he had no knowledge of gay sex but Isaac caught the meaning immediately and asked, “You mean it’s true?  There are really men who fornicate with other men?”

“Very true,” Jason replied.  Not wanting to continue the topic, he pulled away from the curb and said, “Just stay away from that place.  Okay?”

Jeremiah was now confused and curious.  Yes, he knew what fornication was and that it was common and natural.  It’s what produced calves and colts, and even human babies.  But why would two men try it.  More puzzling was HOW!  It would be some time before he deduced that inserting the penis into the anus would approximate the male’s behavior he had witnessed several times as animals were bred on the farm.

After supper that night, accustomed to retiring to bed soon after sundown, the two boys excused themselves and went upstairs to their room.  Isaac was quite at ease as he went into the bathroom to change into his pajamas but Jeremiah’s anxiety was climbing.  The moment he feared was approaching; he would be side-by-side, just inches away from the one who had monopolized his sexual fantasies for a long time.  He took his turn in the bathroom to change, returning to the bedroom to find Isaac in bed.  Summoning all the force of will he could to control his feelings, he slipped under the covers, said “Good night,” and lay down on his side, facing away from his friend.  ‘No masturbation tonight,’ he thought.  ‘Maybe I should have done it in the bathroom.  From now on, I suppose that will be the only place of pleasure available.’

It was a long time before Jeremiah could fall asleep, long after Isaac’s slow breathing indicated that he had no such trouble.  As he lay there, his imagination, unbidden, took over his thoughts.  He mentally visualized his bed partner naked, erect, and masturbating just as he had done so many times before.  The image was abruptly shattered when he realized that he was unconsciously fondling his own very stiff penis.  That was a first.  Previously, he conjured up the visual picture only after achieving an erection and beginning to stroke.  This time, however, his imagination triggered his penis to engorge and beg for relief.  As before, the lustful young man was unaware that it foreshadowed a life crisis in the future.

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Jeremiah found work in a fast food place serving burgers and fries.  It didn’t pay well, was tediously repetitive, and involved an erratic schedule but afforded the opportunity to observe (as he phrased it) “the ways of the English” most of whom he found to be aloof, demanding, and positively unfriendly.  Isaac worked stocking shelves in a grocery store with occasional stints at bagging and retrieving carts from the parking lot.  The two boys compared notes in the evening and agreed that life on the farm in spite of the arduous labor was far more pleasant and satisfying.  They also agreed, if only tentatively, that they would return home at the conclusion of their Rumspringa.

Fate, however, would conspire to change Jeremiah’s mind. 

To be continued...

AUTHOR’S NOTE:  Continuing and profound thanks to Iata for his valuable contributions to this story.

Posted: 05/13/11