The Reluctant Mentor
By:
Morris Henderson
(© 2009 by the author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions
are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Chapter 6
Rick and Todd returned to the
lodge. Todd wanted to go straight to their room but Rick insisted on
having lunch first. Todd gave a slight pout but laughed when Rick
said, “You might need energy for what we do after lunch.”
Upon leaving the dining room, they saw a sign posted in the lobby:
“The road is open to traffic. We hope you enjoyed your stay with
us.”
“Great!” exclaimed Rick. “We can leave for home right away.”
“Riiiickkk!” Todd whined.
“Oh yeah,” Rick said, slapping his forehead and pretending to forget
what Todd wanted. “You had something else you wanted to do, didn’t
you?”
They spent more than an hour in bed, giving and receiving erotic
pleasure. There was, in fact, an undertone of competition as to who
could give the most satisfaction to the other. If a trophy were to
be awarded, they would tie for first place.
At three they began the drive down the canyon towards home. Except
for comments on the landslide damage, there was little conversation.
Both were lost in their own thoughts. Todd thought mostly about the
intimacy with Rick, that it couldn’t go on forever, and he would
have to find another partner. How to do that was a problem. Rick
reflected on the fulfillment of his fantasies. The previous 24 hours
were unexpected, unplanned, but thoroughly enjoyable and he was
grateful for the experience. He then began to worry. Sex with Todd
must end; he was absolutely convinced that was both inevitable and
in Todd’s best interests. But what about now? What could he do to
help the young man? Not with accepting his homosexuality; that was
apparently not his problem. It was the isolation from his peer
group. The young man seemed to have refused his help but that didn’t
diminish Rick’s wanting to help.
********
The following Thursday, Todd
was summoned out of study hall to see the school’s guidance
counselor. It worried him. Would the counselor have the same
attitude as the teacher who hadn’t let him try out for the school
play? Was that the reason for being asked into the counselor’s
office?
He was relieved, however, when Mr. Perry, the counselor, cordially
invited him in and said, “Thanks for coming, Todd. I wanted to talk
to you about college. I usually do that with Juniors but your
transferring in as a Senior ... well ... I slipped up and I
apologize. Do you plan to go to college?”
“Yes, sir,” Todd replied. I applied to four schools and have been
accepted by two. I’ll be going to UCLA next fall. My first choice
was Stanford but I didn’t make the cut. My GPA and SAT scores were
good but I think my lack of extracurricular activities hurt my
chances.”
“Could be,” Perry mused. “I see your grades are outstanding. I’m
sure your SAT scores were excellent. May I ask why you didn’t get
involved in any of the clubs here?”
Todd fidgeted, unsure of whether he should relate his experience
with the drama club.
“You don’t have to answer, Todd, but I’d really like to know.”
“Well, sir, it’s a long story. The short summary is that I’m gay.
Everybody seems to know that and nobody wants to let me join. I
wanted to join the drama club and try out for the school play but
Mrs. Hutchins wouldn’t let me. She said I’d be a bad influence.”
Perry was shocked and made a note on his calendar. “I’ll speak to
her tomorrow.
“I didn’t mean to get her in trouble,” Todd said. “She didn’t do
anything different than anybody else at school.”
“Maybe so,” Perry replied. “But just between you and me, I believe
we must combat discrimination here whether it’s race, religion,
ethnicity, or sexual orientation.”
“Still,” Todd said hesitantly. “I don’t want to cause problems for
her.”
Perry carefully chose his words. “She’s a good teacher. But
discriminating against a student because he’s gay is wrong. And it
must not happen again. Being gay is not something to be ridiculed or
persecuted. I’m not Hispanic or a Buddhist, or gay but I accept
those who are and I try to judge them based on their character. I
get impatient and irritated when I see how bigotry hurts people.
Both the hated and the hater are injured.”
“You sound like my Dad. I wish everybody felt that way.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Perry grinned. “Is there any other
instance of discrimination you’ve encountered that I might be able
to do something about?”
“No, sir. I don’t think anybody can eliminate the hatred I’ve
experienced from the students here. I just try to tolerate it.”
Perry winced at the thought of students insulting another student
solely because he was gay. Then he said, “Many years ago, I heard a
prayer that’s guided much of my thinking: ‘God grant me the serenity
to accept things I cannot change, courage to change those I can, and
wisdom to know the difference.’ I can’t change the attitudes of the
entire student body but what I can change is the behavior of a
teacher who is prejudiced and unfair to students who happen to be
gay. How about you, Todd? Do you have the courage to let me use your
name when I speak with her?”
Todd thought for a moment. If he answered ‘yes’ there might be
repercussions for the teacher and for him. If he answered ‘no’ he
would admit to lacking the courage to right a wrong. “Okay,” he
said. “But only if it doesn’t jeopardize her job.”
“It won’t, I assure you. Now let’s talk about the students here. “I
assume that you’ve been subjected to insults.”
“Some, yes.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“I dunno. I suppose hurt ... angry ... frustrated.”
Perry looked at his watch and said, “You should be getting to your
next class soon. But before you go, may I give you some advice?”
“Okay.”
“You and you alone own your feelings. You can decide whether to be
happy or sad. It’s up to you to choose. Nobody can dictate to you
how to feel. Sure, other people can be unkind and it will hurt but
you have the power to control your feelings. I’m not saying it’s
easy. What I’m saying is that it’s worth the effort. You can decide
to ignore the insults or you can let them fester in your mind.
That’s part of the prayer I mentioned. Try to work on the serenity
part. Put a little more crudely, Todd, don’t let the bastards grind
you down.”
Todd laughed, which surprised Perry, and said, “That exactly what
Stu said. He’s my friend ... my only friend at school. Maybe that’s
why Stu and I get along together. He has the same attitude. He
doesn’t give a shit -- oops, sorry -- he doesn’t care what other
people think of him. And you know what? He’s happy that way. I
decided that’s how I wanted to be.”
It was Perry’s turn to laugh. So it doesn’t get to you when the
other kids call you queer?”
“A little. But I shrug it off. After all, I am queer. They can call
me a fag or a homo but those are just labels. The only one that
bothers me is ‘pervert’ because that means doing something immoral.
Being gay is not immoral. God made me gay. How can that be sinful?”
“Todd, I must say I’m awed by your attitude. That’s exactly the kind
of attitude that most teenagers ought to have rather than being
controlled by peer pressure. You are, indeed, a remarkable young
man.”
“I guess I’m lucky to have learned from Stu. But mostly from my Dad.
Dad and I have had a lot of talks about how to get along. I keep
telling him not to worry about me so much but he does anyway. Mom
does, too.”
“Yes, you’re very lucky. Lucky to have the parents you do. But take
a little credit for yourself. You’re smart enough -- no, let me say
wise enough -- make good decisions. Now, I’m afraid it’s time for
you to get to your next class. But remember, my door is open any
time you want to talk.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Todd left much happier than when he arrived in the counselor’s
office and, when school let out, he went straight to Rick’s condo to
tell him what happened.
“Sounds to me,” Rick said after hearing about the conversation with
the counselor, “that you got some very good advice. Do you think you
can do it? Shrug off the insults and be happy as an outsider I
mean.”
“Not that different from what I’m doing now,” Todd replied. “The
difference is that I don’t think it will bother me as much. What the
counselor said about having the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change makes sense, don’t you think?”
“I suppose it does,” Rick said while thinking of his own loneliness
and his effort to acquire a circle of friends.
“Gotta go now,” Todd said. “I’d rather stay here and ... you know
... have some fun with you. But I promised Mom and Dad I’d finish my
homework so we can go out to eat tonight. It’s Mom’s birthday so Dad
is taking us to a fancy restaurant.”
“Enjoy!” Rick said as Todd got up to leave.
Todd stopped at the front door, turned to Rick, and said, “Thanks
for listening. You’re my best friend. Like I said before, I love you
... as a good friend, that is.”
“See you on Saturday?” Rick asked. “Still want to go hiking?”
“You bet!” Todd gushed and promptly hurried out the door.
Suddenly, the condo seemed oppressively empty as Rick contemplated
yet another evening alone. As he reflected on Todd’s exuberance in
telling what happened with the counselor, he had conflicting
feelings. He was glad, of course, that Todd felt better about the
rampant discrimination at school and not having friends. It was,
after all, very important that his young friend be happy. But he was
deeply disappointed that it now seemed that there was no role for
him in helping the teen. It was as though he had lost one of the
main purposes in his life.
To be continued...
Posted:01/01/10