The Reluctant Mentor
By: Morris Henderson
(© 2009 by the author)
 

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Chapter 1

Richard Chambers (known as “Rick”) was lounging at poolside one afternoon at the Club House of his upscale condo complex.  He hadn’t done much of that since moving in two years ago because his wife, Janice, fell ill.  He took an early retirement at age 55 to care for her, which consumed most of his time.  He was not unhappy to escape corporate politics because he was a private man with a strong sense of independence and found the corporate culture of “network” (Who do you know?) was more important for recognition and promotion than one’s technical savvy.  Nevertheless, he had adapted, if grudgingly, and had risen to executive level.

Visiting the Club House with its pool, first-class exercise facilities, and other amenities had been influential in relocating there but he had had very little chance to take advantage of those benefits because of his wife’s illness.

After his wife’s death, Rick had abundant free time but grew bored.  And lonely.  Very lonely.  His three children were married and lived more than a thousand miles away.  He had no siblings.  His parents and only sister were dead and he had had little to do with his uncles and cousins for years -- not since he left the family farm vowing never to be a farmer.  Although he and Janice had had an active social life, “their” friends were mostly “her” friends although he enjoyed the socializing.  He was not a religious man so he had no friends from church.  Since retiring, he consciously avoided his former colleagues from work, having never formed a true friendship with any of them.  And, because of the circumstances of his wife’s illness, he hardly knew his neighbors’ names, much less counted them as friends.

Given the freedom to do whatever he wanted, he seized the opportunity.  But he found his freedom was less of a blessing than a curse.  He went to the theater, concerts, and baseball games.  Alone.  He went camping in the mountains.  Alone.  He made the rounds of his favorite restaurants.  And ate alone.  He read books that he never had time for.  But his loneliness persisted.

During many evenings that frequently spanned into the early morning hours, he surfed the Internet, indulging himself in something that he had long wanted to do but rarely could.  He visited gay web sites.  Although he had been married, had children and grandchildren, and lived a disciplined straight life, he had longed for the pleasure of a man’s company for almost as long as he could remember, back as far as puberty in the rural Bible Belt.  He could have created several opportunities for extra-marital encounters with both males and females during his many business trips but he felt he couldn’t risk his career or family obligations with blatant indiscretion.

The turning point for Rick came one morning (almost noon, in fact, since he had been up late surfing and slept late).  He sat in the kitchen eating breakfast, feeling sorry for himself.  He was lonely, even more than when he was a loner in high school and working on the family farm after school and for long hours all summer.

“Dammit!” he said aloud to himself.  “This can’t go on!”  He vowed then and there to break out of his shell, to force himself to meet other people, and hopefully to gain a few friends. 

He spent some time trying to think of ways to meet people.  Sex was not his objective.  He was physically fit but at his age, he felt the chances of finding a partner were slim to none.  Rather, it was the company of other people in order to break out of his lonely existence that occupied his thoughts.  There were a number of volunteer organizations that would welcome his participation.  He filed that thought away to investigate later.  There was Harry Jenkins, whom he and his late wife met on a cruise a few years ago.  He liked Harry and his wife, Ella.  They had met a few times as couples for dinner after the cruise and Rick thoroughly enjoyed their company.  He could re-connect with Harry.  No.  He dismissed the thought.  They travelled extensively and were rarely around.  What to do?  His mind drew a blank.

He gazed out the window and saw the roof of the Club House.  “Well,” he thought.  “That might be a start.  I’m sure to meet people there.”  He had another thought.  As long as he was going to the Club House, he might as well take his swim trunks along.  A few laps in the pool followed by a cold drink at poolside might pep up his mood considerably.

The pool was not crowded at two in the afternoon so Rick was able to swim unimpeded for almost an hour.  Then the pool started to fill up, mostly with high school kids.  Rick got a tall ice tea from the refreshment bar and settled himself into a deck chair at poolside.  His thoughts returned to why he was there -- to find friends -- and he began to have doubts about whether his plan would work.  Then, his attention was drawn to the young people frolicking in the pool.  He envied their energy and playfulness.  He was jealous of and even resented their camaraderie, something that he craved in his life.

He was about to leave when he noticed a young man diving and swimming alone.  He watched for a while longer.  The boy never interacted with any of the others.  At one point, he sat on the edge of the pool watching the two or three groups of boys as they splashed, laughed, and teased each other playfully.  Then, in a frightening moment, his mind flashed back to a time when he was that solitary boy on the edge of the pool.  It was on a very rare occasion when, as a senior in high school, he attended a party at the home of one of the “townies” in his class.  Everyone at the party had a marvelous time except him.  He was, as he was throughout high school, the odd man out, a “curve breaker” with consistently high grades, a loner, and not one to actively seek friends.  Rick’s attention returned to the present and he wondered, “Could that young man sitting on the edge of the pool be as lonely as I felt almost 40 years ago?  Could he be condemned to isolation as an adult as I now am?”

The youngster swam a bit more as Rick watched for any signs of mingling with the others in his age group.  There were none.  In fact, although Rick couldn’t hear what was said, it appeared that one of the other teens spoke harshly to the outsider who promptly got out of the pool and started walking toward the exit, looking decidedly unhappy.

“Excuse me, young man,” Rick said as the boy walked past.

The teen was surprised and looked curiously at Rick.

“I wonder if you could do me a favor.  I seem to have a cramp in my leg.  Would you mind getting me a tall ice tea from the refreshment stand?  Get a drink for yourself if you like.  Tell them to put it on Mr. Chambers’ bill.”

The boy paused but then said, “Okay.”

When he returned, with only one drink, Rick asked, “Didn’t you want one for yourself?”

“No, sir.  But thanks anyway.”

“And I thank you,” Rick said.  “My name is Rick Chambers ... but you already know the Chambers part.  I live over in building nine.”  The young man just stood there without introducing himself so Rick continued, “And your name is?”

“Todd,” he replied curtly.

“Nice to meet you, Todd.  And thanks again for fetching my drink.  Care to sit a while and keep me company?”

Todd gave a quick glance back at the pool, looked down at his feet, and said, “Better not.”  He then walked quickly toward the exit, leaving Rick to wonder why he had turned suddenly apprehensive.  As he thought about it, however, he put two and two together and formed a tentative conclusion.  It was unusual and perhaps suspicious for a grown man to invite a young man’s company ... even in a very public place.  His half-formed theory was reinforced when he recalled that Todd seemed to be an outcast and left the pool when another boy spoke, possibly cruelly, to him.  “Damn,” he cursed himself.  “How could I have been so stupid?”

For the next week, Rick went regularly to the pool in the afternoon.  On two of those days, he saw Todd and greeted him by name.  Todd acknowledged the greeting but neither made any further conversation.  Rick now had two objectives.  The first remained: to meet people and try to make friends.  It took second place, however, to a new one.  He would try -- if it was at all possible -- to help Todd escape what was an increasingly apparent isolation and loneliness.

On Saturday, Todd was with two adults, no doubt his parents.  All three had a wonderful time in the pool.  It was the first time Rick had seen Todd laugh.  In a lucky break, Todd’s parents got out of the pool and settled in deck chairs nearby.  Feeling somewhat more at ease introducing himself to strangers lately, he said, “Hi.  I’m Rick Chambers.  I’m fairly new to the Club House but I’ve lived here for a couple of years.”

His greeting lacked originality but was met with a cordial response.  “I’m Tom Peterson and this is my wife, Ann.”

“You must be Janice Chambers’ husband,” the woman said.

“True,” Rick replied.

“I was sorry to learn of her passing,” Ann said.

“It was not completely unexpected,” Rick replied.  “She had been quite ill for some time.”

They chatted for several minutes -- the usual get-acquainted banter -- before Rick felt comfortable broaching the subject that had been bothering him.  “You have a fine son.  He was kind enough to fetch a drink for me on my first visit to the pool.”

“Thank you,” Ann said as she and Tom glanced at each other.

“Forgive me if I’m out of line but I’ve seen him here a few times and the other boys seem to ignore him.  I’m guessing that -- since you just moved here -- he’s the ‘new kid on the block’ and hasn’t broken into the others’ cliques.  Teenagers can be so ... so ... well ... inconsiderate of a newcomer.”

The Petersons glanced at each other again, this time visibly anxious.

“I apologize,” Rick said.  “I really was out of line.”

“No apology needed,” Tom said.  “The story is really more complicated.  Since everybody else seems to know, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t tell you.  We moved here largely because of Todd.  He’s gay.  Students in the school he used to attend found out when he and a boy he was ... ah ... being familiar with ... had an argument.  The other boy spread the word throughout the school that Todd was queer.  From that point on, he was treated worse than a leper.”

“How sad!” Rick said.

“Yes,” Tom continued.  “Todd came home from school one day in tears.  Ann and I finally got him to explain why.  That’s when we found out he was gay.”

“Were you upset?” Rick asked.

“No.  Disappointed, maybe.  And certainly concerned over his unhappiness.  But he’s our only child and we tried to tell him we loved him.  At the end of the school year, we moved here, hoping that being in another school district would rescue him from the malicious bigotry.  We talked to him at length about the need to be careful about what he said and did.  At least until he was out of school.  And he has been.  But his reputation followed him.  We don’t know how but we suspect someone from his old school had a friend or relative attending the current school.  In any case, the other boys avoid him.  And tease him.  And taunt him.  I must say, I admire him for putting up with it.”

“I also admire him for that,” Rick replied sincerely.  “And I admire you for accepting and supporting him.”

“Fortunately,” Ann added, “we can still talk to him.  Unlike some teens, he hasn’t shut us out and we can be honest with each other.  In fact, he told us about your asking him to get a drink and then inviting him to sit down.  I think he used good judgment in declining.  Not that you had any other motive than to be friendly.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s just the appearance that would be harmful.  The other boys would falsely assume the worst.”

“Frankly,” Rick said, “I’m awed by what you’ve told me.  I think you have every reason to be proud of your son.  And I hope he recognizes what fine parents he has.”

“Thanks,” Ann replied.

Rick said, “It’s odd but from watching him in the pool and from what you’ve told me, he’s very much like I was at that age.  It’s as if I can feel his pain.”

Tom’s expression soured for an instant and he said, “How’s that?”

Rick suddenly realized that he may have given clue to his gay yearnings and he scrambled to think of something to say that would minimize the potential damage.  “Well, I was a loner in high school.  I had no close friends.  It was not a happy time for me.”

“Oh,” Tom said.  “For a minute I thought...  But that was silly.  You were not entirely like Todd.  You were a married man.”

Rick’s relief over having avoided exposing his secret self lasted only a moment.  His concern for Todd’s happiness -- now and in the future -- gained prominence in his mind and gave him courage to say. “I was more like him than just being a lonely outsider.  I felt the same urges in high school that Todd feels.  The big difference between my situation then and Todd’s situation now is that my parents would not have been so understanding.”

“Now I’m confused,” Tom said.

Rick replied, “Granted, I haven’t been very clear in what I’ve told you.  I’m telling you something that I haven’t told anyone else so it’s difficult for me.  But let me try.  When I was Todd’s age, I was attracted to other boys.  Girls didn’t interest me in the slightest.  My Dad hired a farm hand for the summer, a very handsome college student.  We were out in the barn one afternoon and he seduced me.  No, seduce is not the right word.  It would be more accurate to say that he gave me the opportunity to experience what I wanted all along.  That turned out to be the happiest summer of my teenage years.  Then, when I went away to college, I met Janice.  We fell in love, married, and I’ve enjoyed every moment I was able to spend with her and my children.  So there you have it.  I had a gay relationship that lasted all summer but since then have lived a completely straight life.  I hope you’re not shocked but I just wanted you to know why I understand what Todd is going through.”

Tom and Ann sat quietly, trying to absorb the surprising disclosure from someone whom they had just met.  Time passed very slowly for Rick who feared that his comments may have demolished what he had hoped would be the beginning of a friendship with people whom he just met but liked and admired.

Ann broke the tension of the moment when she grasped Tom’s hand, looked at him, and said, “Do you suppose...?”

Tom smiled at his wife and replied, “Perhaps.  But Todd sounded so sincere and convincing when he told us.  I don’t think it’s a passing stage.”

“No,” Ann said.  “What I meant was, do you think Todd might feel better talking to someone who’s been through what he’s going through?”  Suddenly turning to Rick, she added, “I’m sorry.  I’m proposing something without asking if you would be willing to help Todd.”

“Well,” Rick hesitated.  “I don’t know whether I can help.  I’m certainly not a psychologist.  I do want to help Todd; that’s for sure.  But all I can offer is a sympathetic ear.  And maybe help him think through his own decisions.”

“We can’t ask for more than that,” Tom said.  “If you’re willing, it certainly can do no harm and may help him.  We would appreciate your doing us the favor.”

“Please, Rick,” Ann said pleadingly.

“I’d be honored,” Rick smiled.

Exuberantly, Ann said, “Will you join us for dinner tonight?  I have a casserole in the oven now.  We’d be delighted to have you join us.”

“That’s very kind,” Rick grinned.  “I haven’t had a good home-cooked meal in some time.  Nor have I had the company of pleasant people.  What can I bring?”

“Yourself!” Tom exclaimed.  “About six?  We’re in building two, second floor.”

“I must say, I’m delighted,” Rick said.  “But I have a suggestion.  Let’s not concern ourselves with Todd’s problems tonight.  Let’s just make it a ‘get acquainted’ evening.  I think Todd will have to get to know me before he’s receptive to any deep discussions.  And, for that matter, I need to get to know Todd.  With luck, over time, we can build a rapport and trust that will allow me to talk to him about matters that he may not want to talk about.”

“Splendid idea,” Tom gushed.

The Petersons returned to their condo full of hope that they had, at least potentially, found a way to help their son.  Todd accompanied them, glad to leave the taunting teens in the pool behind, curious about his parents’ inviting Mr. Chambers to dinner, but still unaware of the plan his parents had hatched.

Rick returned to his condo amazed and worried about what he had gotten himself into.  Still, he thought, if there was a chance of helping Todd and a chance to gain two new friends, it would be a double win for him.  Little did he know at the time the twists and turns in his life that lay ahead.

To be continued...

Posted:11/20/09