You Can Run
but
 You Can’t Hide
 by: Miguel Sanchez

© 2007 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Hans, Jamie and Kevin were all a little groggy and still needed to sleep off the effects of the shot. While they were doing that, he and I talked a little more. “Lee, why is it you’re having a hard time accepting that what you did was totally justified?”

I shook my head. “I, I dunno Doc. I . . . I . . .”

Then the damn broke. “I was raped.”

Chapter 11

I sat there and cried remembering what had happened to me. Dr. Nash patted my leg and I looked up at him still crying. “Can you tell me what happened?”

I nodded my head then I shook it. “Yeah, no, I mean.”

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know how long I sat there but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look to see who it was and there knelt Hans with tears rolling down his face. He reached over and pulled a chair over beside us then leaned me into his arms. “It’s OK baby. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you.”

I couldn’t believe this. I’d suppressed this all these years and I thought I’d done a damn good job of it but now it’s back. This was something I just wanted to forget but now I couldn’t. Dr. Nash wasn’t going to let me. “Baby, I’ve buried that for 25 years. Why do you wanna hear about that now?”

Dr. Nash scooted over closer to me. “Because Lee, I think that has a great deal to do with why you’re not letting go with the shooting. It was justified and yet, you’re still letting it eat away at you.”

I couldn’t understand what one thing had to do with the other. It was true, I’d never got that rape out of my head, well not totally anyway. “I was 13, not much older than Kevin. I was coming home from a friend’s house. His name was Jake. He was 14 and in my PE class. Every since I met him that first day of school, I’d always thought he was so cute and when I saw him in the shower after PE, he was gorgeous. I was a fast bloomer. I already had pubes and was even getting hair under my arms but Jake was totally smooth. He was a lot like you baby, smooth body but had a beautiful dick.”

Hans kissed me on the cheek. “I guess I know where your attraction to smooth skin comes from.”

I blushed deeply at that but nodded my head. “Well, one day when we were in the shower, it was just him and me. He caught me looking at him and I thought he was going to kick my ass right then and there. He came over towards me but rather than hitting me, he smiled. I knew I liked boys when I was 12 but I’d never really accepted it and at 13, it still hadn’t totally sunk in. Jake looked around then he reached his hand down and caressed my hairy crotch. Little Lee immediately stood up from the attention. I started to reach my hand out to touch him but stopped. He nodded his head so I continued. I felt his smooth skin and I guess I was hooked. Jake pulled his hand away telling me we had better get out and dressed before the coach came in to check the showers. That afternoon, I went over to his house and we fooled around. He didn’t have a huge dick but it was about as big as my middle finger, maybe a little longer. He was like me and that was we could both shoot a lot. A few days later, he introduced me to the pleasures of oral sex. He sucked me off and that was the best thing I’d ever felt. It took a little prodding on his part for me to put his in my mouth but as soon as I felt it there, I was hooked. It was hard yet so soft and warm all at the same time. I couldn’t get enough of it and when he shot, his cum was super sweet.”

I had to take a break because I was thirsty. Dr. Nash went out and got us some sodas. “Baby, why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

I was about to answer when Dr. Nash came back in. He handed me the drink and I drank down half the can. Before I said anything more, I got up and checked on Jamie and Kevin. They were still sound asleep so I returned to my chair. “Well, every afternoon on my way home from school, I’d make a stop at Jake’s house for a hot round of sex. A few months later, we were sucking each other when he ran his finger over my asshole and it felt like a million volts of electricity got shot through my body. By the end of the afternoon, I knew I loved having a finger in my ass. A few days later, he took my virginity and I took his. His dick felt so good in me, he could fuck me all he wanted and I was in heaven. He was gentle and loving when he fucked me. After a month of doing it every day, no one could tell he was doing it, that’s how careful he was. He would make love to me for an hour then I would return the favor. After we were finished, we’d take a shower together and he’d help me get cleaned up so my parents wouldn’t know what we were doing. One afternoon, we must have really been at it for a long time because just after Jake shot off in me, he heard the garage door opening. Now, I wasn’t going to be in trouble for being there as he’d had his parent’s permission but there would be hell to pay if we were caught together naked in bed screwing each others brains out. We quickly got dressed and I was about to run into the bathroom when his Dad hollered up the stairs. I was about to close the door when Jake told me I didn’t have time. Jake had really blasted a load in me that day and I didn’t want it leaking out while I was walking home so I took a big wad of toilet paper and lined my underwear and even stuck some in between my cheeks. I knew my parents wouldn’t be home so I could get a shower but fate didn’t smile on me that day.”

I felt myself getting flustered so I took another little break. Dr. Nash was busy writing stuff down on a pad. Hans turned my head lovingly and I could see the love he had for me. I ran my hand down his face then he lightly kissed me. At that point I lost it and broke down crying. He held me rubbing my back and cooing gently in my ear. “Baby, I’m right here with you. Who was it that was there for me?”

He lifted my head up so I could look at him. I couldn’t speak but I did manage to mouth the word, ‘me’.

He used this thumbs to wipe away my tears then kissed me gently again. “That’s right baby, you were there for me and I’m here for you.”

I fell forward as the tears fell. I felt Hans’ hand rub my back then I felt some tissues wipe my face. I opened my eyes and Jamie was kneeling there then he rubbed my hair. “Lee, you’re a hero to us. You saved my life and you’re willing to take us in to live. I heard a little of what you told Dr. Nash but it doesn’t change the way we feel about you.”

I smiled at him as he dabbed my eyes again. I felt another hand on me and I knew who it was. Kevin leaned down and wrapped me in his arms. “Lee, we love you. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

Hans, Jamie and Kevin had me wrapped in their arms like being held in a cocoon and I felt safe and secure. My tears finally stopped and I was able to speak again. “Well, like I said, fate wasn’t smiling on me that day. After I got my shorts packed with toilet paper, I went downstairs and said goodbye to Jake and his Dad. I had six blocks to walk home and it was a pretty nice day so I was just taking my time. About two blocks into the walk, I felt Jake’s cum start to ooze out of my hole and run down the back of my leg. I started walking faster but it seemed the faster I walked, the more I leaked. I managed to find a hiding place so I stuck my hand down the back of my shorts and shoved the toilet paper back in between my cheeks. That fix seemed to do the trick then I started walking home again. I’d got another block closer when I started springing a leak again. I reached behind me and when I touched my shorts, they were wet. As I walked I tried to find another place to duck into then I remember the alley that was a block away from my house. I never really went down there because I’d seen a few things that kinda freaked me but I did know a place I could fix myself. I looked down the alley and didn’t see anything so I started running. I was just about to where I needed to go when I felt a hand grab my arm pulling me backwards. I got spun around and I was staring into the face of some man. He smiled at me and then started rubbing my back as he lifted my shirt up. I tried to run but he grabbed me around the waist telling me I better not try to do that again. He held onto my hips and looked at the back of my shorts then he ran his finger over the wet spot. He spun me around and looked at my front the shoved his hand in the back of my shorts. He pulled out the toilet paper then smelled it. He had an evil look on his face and then he licked the paper. I saw him start to rub his crotch then he yanked my shorts and underpants down in one motion. I started crying because I had a strong feeling I knew what he was going to do. He started calling me names like faggot and queer boy. He undid his jeans pushing them down. I saw his huge dick and it had to be every bit of 8 inches long. He pushed me over a trash can then I felt his dick rub up and down my wet butt. All of a sudden I felt the worse pain I’d ever felt in my life. Jake was always gentle with me but this animal just shoved it in all the way to the hilt. I started screaming from the pain but he took his hand and slapped it across my mouth. He hammered me for I don’t know how long then I felt him shoot in me. He pulled out then turned me around telling me to clean it off. I did like he said then he pulled his pants up and just walked away. I pulled my shorts up and managed to walk home still crying. Once inside my house, I got upstairs to my bathroom. I saw the toilet and the first thing I did was throw up. I puked several times then I managed to sit on it expelling his load. I reached over and started the shower getting it as hot as I could stand. I got in then let the water beat over me. I felt it hit my throbbing ass and it burned so I turned the temperature down. The water ran down it and I finally got up the nerve to run my finger over it. I turned away out of the water then touched my aching hole. I lightly touched it then looked at my finger and there wasn’t any blood. I was lucky in that respect but that and my gut hurt like hell. I got washed then dried off and went right to my room. I was lucky that I didn’t have any homework that day because sitting was next to impossible. I laid down on the bed and just started crying. I vaguely remember my Dad coming home but when I opened my eyes, he was standing there. He asked what was wrong so I told him everything about the man raping me. He just stood there listening to what I had to say then he rolled me onto my stomach. I felt him spread my butt cheeks apart but it’s what he did next that really shocked me. I felt a searing pain as he rammed his finger into my ass then yank it out. He told me I wasn’t bleeding then he proceeded to spank me for not cleaning up the bathroom.”

Everyone was quiet when I told them what my father did. Jamie and Kevin wrapped their arms around me. Kevin kissed me then whispered, “Please say he called the police.”

I shook my head then kissed him back. “No, he didn’t and that was something I never forgave him for. When I was 17, there was another rape in the neighborhood. It was summertime and school was closed. I heard a lot of sirens and I ran out front and saw the police and an ambulance at the entrance to the alley. I ran down just as the paramedics were bringing someone out on the stretcher. I walked up and saw it was a boy who lived behind me. I asked what had happened and one of the men said he’d been raped. I looked down the alley and the police were bringing a man out in handcuffs. As they got close, I recognized the man. It was the same man who had raped me 4 years earlier. Thanks to my father not calling them, he was able to rape again. I later found out he had raped at least 10 other boys and it was then I decided to become a police officer. The following year, I enlisted in the Army and signed up to become a Military Police Officer. I put the rape behind me. I worked hard to become the best MP I could and I did.”

I hadn’t realized it but I was sitting up straight. Everyone was looking at me while I spoke. “Baby, the man got his punishment. He went to prison.”

I nodded my head. “Yeah, he went to prison and did his time. He was paroled.”

Dr. Nash was still busy writing. He hadn’t said a word in over an hour. Hans was holding my hand with a worried look on his face. “Baby, is there more to this story?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah baby, there is more to this story. Before I can go on, I need something more to drink.”

Dr. Nash put his pen in his pocket and went to get us all some sodas. I looked at the boys and was feeling like I could now be a part of their lives that could provide them with a decent upbringing. When I woke up this morning, I was wondering how I would take care of Hans. Dr. Nash came back in carrying 4 sodas then set them on the table. “Are you ready to go on Lee?”

I popped the top on the Dew and took a big swig then belched causing Jamie and Kevin to giggle. “To answer your question babe, yeah, there’s more to this story. As I said, he went to prison and did his time but I guess I should back up a little bit. When I was in the Army, being an MP got me access to a lot of information. The man that raped me was named Ed Arbuckle. When he went to trial, he got a sweetheart of a deal. He was facing life in prison for all the rapes he’d committed. He’s raped 11 more boys over the 4 years since he first raped me. But there was just 1 problem and Ed had them by the balls. He knew what he did and knew the time he was facing but he was a real bastard. He wanted to put every boy through hell again. By the time he finally went to trial, I was in the Army. There was no way I could get leave and the DA would have to fight with the Army to get me there. I would have gone and told my story. The other boys were younger and it would have really traumatized them. Ed knew it and he didn’t give a shit but the DA did. He decided to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse and played a little bit of a bluff along with it. He told Ed if he pled guilty to the last rape, because he was caught in the act, the DA would not charge him with the other rapes. Ed would serve 15 years, all of it, no parole. He would then serve another 2 years on strict supervised probation. After that, he would be free. Free, but still a convicted felon.”

Everyone’s eyes were wide open. Jamie was really in shock. “Lee, he got only 15 years for all he did?”

Dr. Nash finally spoke. “I don’t like what happened but Jamie, the DA wasn’t going to have to put those boys through hell again unless there was no other way around it.”

My mind started to wonder a little but I was still feeling pretty good. This was the first time I’d told this and it felt good to get it out. “Well, after Ed was sent away I could concentrate on my Army career. I did my 20 years, actually I was looking to do 30 but that’s another story. When I got out, I decided on settling down here and I met Hans. Well, you know what we’ve done but when I went to work for John Doyle, I thought I’d have an interesting job where I could make some decent money while trying to get on with either SAPD or DPS. A few days into the job, it seemed a ghost from my past came back to haunt me. I went with John to the city jail so he could bail out Syd and the minute I saw him, I swore it was déjà vu. There was something about this guy I knew. He was arrogant and acted like his shit didn’t stink. I looked at his package but he was just a loud mouth who got into bar fights.

“Well, it wasn’t until those two boys got raped in Sedgeway Park that things started hitting home again. Baby, it was that fact that you were in my life and your love that kept me on an even keel. I started digging into Syd’s background and I found that he’d been questioned a number of times regarding assaults on gays but he was never charged. I swore I saw him on 2 different occasions at the hospital where Bruce and Jason were. One day John called me and started busting my chops over Syd because he had to show ID when he went to Sedgeway Park. I lit into John and told him just what I felt and I guess that’s when he started thinking. He went and started loading some more information into his office computer.”

Kevin tapped me on the leg. “Lee, since you’re a former MP, and a victim from Ed’s crime, would you have been able to get information on him back in your home town?”

I took another drink of my soda then shook my head. “I doubt it but I hadn’t tried either. I probably could have talked with a cop or two and since we’re all brothers, they might have told me something.”

I had to take five so I could empty my bladder and I was followed into the bathroom by Hans. After relieving myself, I took him in my arms and just hugged him. I could feel his love and it was recharging me. I looked up and was met by his warm lips. “Baby, you’re so strong.”

I kissed him back then returned to the others. “Sweetheart, I’m strong because you give me strength. When we hugged inside, I could feel your strength coming over to me. I’m nothing without you. Now, where was I. Oh yeah, John started loading some more information into the office computer so I could access it via the network. Now here is where it gets interesting. The night that John called and I had to go out I brought the laptop with me so I could read the files he’d loaded. I’d started reading a few before I left but really hadn’t gotten very far. After about 20 minutes, I’d struck pay dirt. John had some very old stuff and it dated back over 20 years.”

I heard everyone gasp. Jamie and Kevin looked like they were about to faint. Hans and I spent some time getting them relaxed so I could continue. Hans kissed each of them. “Are you boys OK so Lee can go on?”

They nodded their heads as I squeezed their hands. “I found a file that had an old police report in it about a boy that had been raped. The top part didn’t  get scanned very well but as I read it, my mouth was open and I was almost in shock. What caught my attention was the location of the crime. I was reading a police report of Ed Arbuckle. It was the police report of the rape back when I was 17. I went through a few more files and found out that after Ed did his time and probation, he got his named changed. I know the question in your mind and yes, he changed it to Syd Green. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. My gut feeling that Syd was behind the rapes of Jason and Bruce was right on. My mind was in a whirl and I couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard I tried. Well that was until I saw two men come out of the bar. I didn’t know who they were at that time but I do now.”

I started getting misty eyed because this was going to be the hardest part. I still wonder if I shouldn’t have had the rifle in my hands from the start. I scooted closer to the boys so I could hold their hands. “As I followed them, I knew who Syd was. I knew this was Ed Arbuckle, the man that raped me. I can never forget the look on that boy’s face on the stretcher as he went to the ambulance. I had to concentrate on my driving and a few times I got closer to Syd’s car than I really wanted but his mind was on the car he was following.

“When we all pulled onto your street, I had no idea what was going to happen. When Syd parked in front of your house, I got my rifle out of the back of the Hummer. I loaded it and went to the front of my truck then watched. When the confrontation started, I swear it was like slow motion. I saw him get the knife out but I never thought he would try to kill someone, only use it to bolster his manhood. I had my pistol in my hand and I was ready to use it but then, I had no reason. When they got face to face, everything hit the fan and did so very fast. In what seemed like a split second, James went down and Carl was now a human shield. I had no shot because I couldn’t risk hitting Carl.”

I wanted to yell at Jamie for not listening to me but he’s suffered more than enough. “Jamie, when you ran towards your Dad; that set the final scene in motion. When I saw that, I got my rifle because I could take a much different shot. I had Syd in the scope but when he turned around and had that knife against your throat, it was now or never. When I squeezed off that round; Jamie, I not only saved your life but I killed the man that raped me over 25 years ago. It was justifiable.”

Hans wrapped his arms around me. “Baby, you said it. You finally said the shooting was justifiable.”

He was right and god I felt better. Jamie and Kevin scooted over and hugged me and it felt like things were starting to look up. A few minutes later, Kevin looked up at me. “But Lee; won’t the police think you shot him because he’d raped you?”

I shook my head. “They wouldn’t know that because my father never reported the crime. I came home once and talked with the DA just before Ed’s trial was supposed to start and I got a big surprise. The DA said he could not prosecute him for my rape because there was a statute of limitations in place at the time I was raped. They had since lifted that but it was after my rape. Now, the DA said he could try to call me as a witness and tell them about the rape against me but that was it.”

I had to stand up and stretch the kinks out of my back and legs. Hans came over and kissed me gently. “Are you alright baby?”

I kissed him back then smiled. “I am now love, I am now.”

Jamie and Kevin started hugging each other as Dr. Nash put his legal pad into his briefcase. Jamie went over and stood in from of him. “So Doc, do you think Lee is ready to be a foster parent now?”

I was a little leery about what he was going to say as I walked over and put my arm around the boys. “Lee, you needed to come to grips with everything and that you did today. I don’t see any reason why you and Hans can’t foster these two boys and provide them with a loving home. I think the boys are going to need some therapy but I feel it can be done on an out patient basis.”

I looked at the clock and it was almost lunch time. I heard 4 stomachs growling, one of which was mine. Dr. Nash got up to leave when the food trays came in. He stopped the woman and lifted the covers on one of the trays. I managed to see what was there and it looked a whole lot better than what we had been getting. “I think this food we’re gonna like guys.”

The trays were set out and before Dr. Nash could leave, we had company again. Dr Nash got up and opened it and he quickly shook the hand of the man standing there. “Tom, come on in. You caught them at lunch time but I think I can help you some. Have you started filling out the paperwork yet? Guys, this it Tom Roberts and he works with Social Services.”

I almost chocked on the mouthful of food I had in my mouth. Tom sat his briefcase down opening it then pulled up a chair. He pulled out some forms the looked back to Dr. Nash. “Greg, I started on them. I have the ones on Jamie Fisher and Kevin Pruett done and I’m almost finished with the application on Hans Johansen. I was about to start on Lee Jennings application but I held off.”

Now I was really worried. “Why did you hold off on mine?”

Dr. Nash sat up and looked at me. “At the time Lee, I wasn’t sure if you’d be ready to handle it but after today, I know you’ll do just fine. Tom, please do one on Lee. They’ll all be ready to leave here in a few days. How soon can you have them approved as foster parents?”

Tom pulled some forms out of his briefcase and stared writing. “I have some background information on Lee and I really don’t see a problem getting him approved. Hans, your age is a little problem but I believe I can get past that. The only thing I would need to do is a home visit to see where you live and weather of not there is adequate room.”

Hans swallowed his mouthful. “We have a 3 bedroom house. The boys would share a room but right now, I really think that’s best. I have a room and Lee has one.”

Tom made some notes. “I think that’s more than adequate. When can I see it?”

Hans looked at me then back to Tom. “Does 11 tomorrow sound ok maybe this afternoon?”

We were still eating our lunch as Tom and Dr. Nash chatted. “Hans, when I finish filling out this application, could we go and see your house? This way, I could file everything and maybe get an answer back tomorrow?”

I looked over to my love. “That’s great. Hans do you have your keys?”

He stood up and reached into his pocket and pulled them out. He finished his lunch as Tom finished doing the foster parent application. “Hans, can we go now?”

He looked at me and I nodded. “Go on baby. I’m kinda tired so I think I’m just going to take a nap.”

To be continued...

Posted: 05/23/08