Officers' Boy
By: Kenneth Kirk
(© 2022 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

kkirk@tickiestories.us

Chapter 29

What scared me most was Dad’s utter calm as he stated there was only one thing he could do with me after learning that Rafael is my boyfriend and that I had lied to him to hide that fact. 

When Dad didn’t continue, I finally asked, “What is that, sir?”

“I must withdraw fellowship from you and let you do with your soul as you wish.”

Shit, what did he mean by that?  I stared up at him as I tried to decipher this.

“What are you saying, Dad?”  I croaked out.

“You are hereby banished from our Christian home.  You bring the Devil here as an insult to our Savior.  As long as you persist in being an abomination, in living as a sexual pervert, as long as you turn your back on God’s son and His word, there is no place for you in Christian life, in a Christian home.”  His face had become as hard and cold as granite.  “If you repent of your sin and turn back to Jesus, I will talk with you.  Until that time comes, I do not want to see or speak to you.”

I stared at him in disbelief. 

“I want you to take whatever you need and be gone within the hour.”

Was this really happening?

“Is that clear?”

“Leave?” I blurted.

“And don’t come back.  Don’t come to church either.  You will not be welcome there.”

“But Dad…”

He held his palm out to me.  “And don’t expect any more money from me.  Now, go pack.”  He glanced at the clock on his desk.  “Be gone by 7:15.” 

********* 

I was too stunned to be fully cognizant of the consequences of this discussion, but perhaps that was my mind’s way of preventing me from completely losing it.  I walked slowly to my room too numb to cry.  I closed the door and looked around at the stuff of my life.  Realizing there wasn’t a lot of time, I quickly gathered my books, laptop, MP3 player, and a few other items.  I deposited all this in my car and returned to pack a couple of suitcases with a small portion of my clothes. 

After that, I just grabbed shirts and pants from the interior of the closet and piled them on the back seat of my little Fiesta, praising God that I had that.  ‘Sophia’ was my way out.  Otherwise, I supposed I would be on the street.  At the last minute, I remembered that I had a uniform and some other clothes in my laundry basket so I just took the whole basket.  I cleaned out the cabinets in my bathroom, tossing toiletries into plastic bags and filling up the laundry basket with them.  I grabbed a photo of Mom and Dad and me taken at the beach when I was 13 as well as a couple of photos of Roger, Donovan, and a couple of other friends.  I checked my watch.  It was 7:07.  I put everything into the car and came back inside.  I had not seen Mom in all this time.  The door to her bedroom was closed, so I knocked softly.  I heard some sniffles but she didn’t answer.  I rapped again and waited.  When I was greeted with silence, I spoke loudly at the door, “I love you, Mom.”  Then I walked out to my car and drove shakily away.

As I moved away from the only home I had ever known, I realized Dad had done exactly what I had predicted he would when he found out I’m gay.  To a degree I had a sense of relief.  Dad hadn’t taken his pistol and shot me.  He hadn’t locked me in the basement.  He hadn’t kidnapped me to ship me off to a conversion camp.  It could have been worse and now it was over, at least the initial reaction was behind me.

I felt I had two options for the immediate future.  I could stay with Sylvia or I could go to the officers’ house.  Although I love Syl very much and know she would take me in, my heart was clear that it wanted to go to Rafael, Michael, Robert, and Anthony.  So, I drove the mile or so to their house on Riverside.  I parked in Rafe’s spot since I knew his destroyed Wrangler would not be back. 

I walked around the side of the garage and onto the back patio.  No one was there, so I sat down at the table where we often eat.  I lay my head on my arms and began to sob. 

For a few minutes I just gave in to a mish-mash of grief over the loss of my family, the end of my childhood, my fear about how I would manage the future, and my pain from being rejected so harshly by a father whose love is too limited to include the real me in all my complexities and differences.  In my heart I knew God does not consider me an abomination because He loves me with infinite love.  When I had that thought, I found a modicum of peace. 

There was the sound of the slider opening behind me and, before I even looked up, strong hands settled on my shoulders.

“Hey,” Tony’s deep voice came near my ear.

I began crying again, this time from relief.  I guess Tony was able to surmise what had happened because the next thing he said was probably exactly what I most needed to hear.

“You’re welcome here, baby.  We love you and want you here as long as you want to be.”

I pulled myself up from the table and looked into the most loving and concerned face I could imagine.  He put his hands under my arms and gently lifted me off the chair, swiveled me and pulled me into his chest.  My arms went around his back, my head found his shoulder, and my legs encircled his waist as I clung to him.  He turned and moved back through the sliders into the house.  He carried me all the way through the house until we reached his big bed, where he laid me down.

As he removed my shoes, he said, “I’ll be right back.” 

With that, he went into his bathroom.  In a minute he returned with a wet and warm washcloth and a small towel.  He sat on the edge of the bed near me where he pulled a couple of tissues out of the box.  Handing them to me, he said, “Wipe your eyes and blow your nose.”  I complied.  He took the slimy tissues and set them on the nightstand, then washed and dried my face. 

When I was cleaned up, he leaned over me to tenderly kiss my forehead.  He palmed my left cheek in his hand and said, “You are welcome here, Eric.  Why don’t you rest for a little while?”

I nodded and mumbled, “Okay.”

“I’ll fix you a light dinner and then come get you.  Until then, just rest.  It’ll all be fine.  You’ll see.”

“Thank you,” I said.

He smiled, caressed my cheek, and rose from the bed.  Quietly, he pulled the door closed behind him.

I felt much more relaxed thanks to Tony’s gentle reception.  I was able to doze off after a few minutes.  Unaware of the passage of time, I was a bit startled when he shook me awake sometime later.

“Are you ready to say hi to Robert and Michael and have something to eat?” he asked tenderly.

I stared at him blankly for a moment as I felt a grumble in my very empty stomach.  “I think so,” I mumbled.

Tony smiled and held both hands out to me.  I sat up, swiveled on the mattress, dropped my feet over the side of the bed, and took one of the hands he proffered.  He tugged and I rose from the bed.  He pulled me into his chest, enveloping me in his big, warm embrace.  He clung to me for maybe half a minute.  Neither of us spoke but I felt a very definite communication of a lot of love and concern.  He released me and we walked slowly through the house and into the expansive white kitchen where he had put a place setting on the long breakfast bar at the center island.  There sat a plate with a freshly made BLT sandwich and a mound of chips.  Beside the plate was a tall glass of diet coke. 

As I perched on the bar stool, Robert came in from the backyard with Michael a few steps behind him.  Both had serious looks of concern as they came to me.  I stood to properly hug them, fighting for all I was worth to keep from sobbing. 

“Welcome,” Robert whispered into my ear.

“We’re glad you’re here,” Michael added.

“Eat!” Tony ordered.  “We can chat later.”

As I dug into my sandwich, Tony began cleaning up the skillet where he’d just fried my bacon.  Michael began pulling some dishes and cooking supplies out of the cabinets.  Robert left the room in the direction of the bedrooms.  As I ate and observed my two friends in the kitchen, I slowly deduced that Michael was making a batch of chocolate chip cookies, from scratch.  I was impressed as he seemed as confident in the kitchen as my mother.

By the time I had finished my supper, Michael was popping two sheets of cookies into the oven.  When he had closed the oven door, he looked up at me with a gentle smile.  He stepped around the kitchen island until he was close beside me. 

Michael stroked my shoulder.  “Hailstorm and Smoky are on the patio,” he said softly.  “Why don’t you go on out?  I’ll bring out some fresh drinks and a plate of warm cookies in a few minutes.”

“Sure,” I said.  “Thanks for … everything, Michael.”

“You bet,” he said with vigor.

As I wandered out to the patio, I noticed the house with a changed perspective.  Now I wasn’t admiring the layout and furnishings from an outsider’s point of view, but as if this was my home.  It was as though everything was suddenly more important somehow.

Anthony and Robert were seated at a grouping of cushioned patio furniture consisting of two loveseats and a matching chair that encircled a gas-fired fire pit that was about two and a half feet in diameter, made from mortared rock, with a layer of imitation charcoal brickettes over a screen that covered the center part of the pit.  Flames hopped around the brickettes as if they were dancers at a discotheque.  Tony sat in the chair with Robert at the far end of one of the loveseats.  Robert patted the cushion beside him and I dropped into the seat.

Robert slipped his arm across my shoulders protectively, gently pressing until I slid over against him.  “I’m very sorry for your troubles, Eric,” he whispered.

“Thank you, Bob.”

“We’ll wait for Michael before we ask for the details,” Tony said.  “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I nodded.  “Maybe I can unload my car while we wait.”

“No need,” Robert smiled.  “All your stuff is already in your room.”

I was surprised at that.  “Really?”

“Yes,” Tony nodded.  “We had to do something while you napped in my bed.”

My phone pinged.  I looked down to see that I had a message from Roger.  “Excuse me,” I said and tapped the messages icon.  “It’s Roger.”

ROGER: Is it true?

ME: Afraid so

ROGER: My God!  R U OK?

ME: I think so.  Sort of.

ROGER: Where did you go?

ME: The officers.

ROGER: Excellent!  That’s where you should be 😀

ME: Where I want to be too

ROGER: Want a ride to school tomorrow?

ME: Please

ROGER: Pick U up at 8:30

ME: Perfect

ROGER: U know this is good.  Right?

ME: Trying to get that

ROGER: U R where U should B

ME: That I truly believe.  The guys R awesome

ROGER: 😲 Good night

ME: I 🧡 U

ROGER: Ditto 🧡🧡

I looked across the fire pit at Tony, noticing again the blue and yellow flames dancing on the fake coals.  It was mesmerizing and beautiful.  “Uhm, that was Roger checking up on me.”

“He’s a really good friend,” Tony observed.

“My best friend since 8^th grade,” I nodded.

“Don’t ever neglect him,” Robert advised.  “You need to build all your friendships now.”

I looked to the side to see if I could read the meaning on his face.

“Now that you are, uhm, estranged from your parents.”

“Oh,” I said sadly.

“Smoky’s right,” Anthony agreed.  “I’ve heard that it’s quite possible to build a better family of choice than your family of origin.  And I believe that.”

“That strikes me as being a nice piece of wisdom,” I said.

“Hopefully we are going to be a part of that family of choice for you, Eric,” Robert said.

“Yes,” Anthony smiled.

“Oh, guys, you are!” I gushed.  “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I think you have others in your family of choice, too,” the major observed.  “There are Roger and Donovan and the woman you work for and your new friends at college.”

I had not really enumerated the list of my friends, but I could see it was a pretty long list.  “Thanks for saying that, Tony.  Now that you mention it, I think you’re right,” I mused.

Suddenly, Robert stood up and started toward the house.  Glancing up, I could see Michael standing inside the slider with a tray full of glasses and a plate of cookies.  It was such a family-like thing that I almost started to cry.

But, strangely, I smiled instead.

To be continued...

Posted: 10/14/2022