SS Outpost

By: Jeff B
(© 2012 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

KAPITEL FÜNF

(CHAPTER 5)

 

Thursday, 23 July, 1942

 

It had been two weeks since I'd been home.  It was still hard to believe that I thought of the farm in the middle of nowhere as my home; but we all did, it seemed.  I had lasted 3 days being treated like a hospital patient.  I'd been up and around since then, though taking it easy, under direct threat from my better half.  He'd told me he'd put me in a room with Jan if I didn't behave.  I just smiled at him and held my hands about 25 cm apart.  He turned red and shook his head.  They had resumed their stake-out's, though not spending as much time on duty; I wouldn't let them.  Peter was still in command, but I'm more stubborn than he; besides, he agreed with me.  They were pulling 10-hour shifts, all of them overnight, because we all assumed that that would be the best time to catch someone.  They slept days while I did what little administrative duties were required, and kept the place cleaned up.  I would also spend time with Wolfy right after he woke up; in our bed, cuddling.

 

Erich came to see me almost daily; sometimes with Sasha, sometimes without.  He helped me however I wanted him to; always eager to do more.  We talked a lot and laughed and cried together a few times, as well.  He was still pretty torn up about the shooting, and I understood his feelings all too well.  It would take him years to get past it.  He insisted on changing my bandages for me since Wolfy was sleeping, and only winced the first time.  He worked so hard at trying to emulate all of us, and especially me, that it made me feel guilty.  We were hired killers in uniform; paid to do unspeakable things to people; for duty and honor to a sociopath.  I would tell him constantly that he needed to become his own man; that only then would he be truly happy.

 

Peter was the only one I had ever spoken to openly about my feelings and doubts about the war and our 'leader'.  I had always been curious about Wolfy's take on everything, but was afraid to ask him.  He was a very proud SS man; and a proud Nazi; at least to anyone looking at him.  I didn't know what he truly felt about all of it on the inside.  He'd been in the Hitler Youth from the time he was 14; so he had been conditioned for all of this foolishness for years, and taught never to question it.  Peter and I had never been in battle, so we didn't have the same outlook as Wolfy and Hage.  They had actually put their lives on the line for their country and the madman leading it.  Peter was in the spy business, and I was a cop; we didn't have the same outlook as they did.  Jan was the grandson of a radical Nazi, and had been in the Youth. I'm assuming he was as conditioned as Wolfy and Hage; though never having heard a shot fired in anger.  I could never afford to have my loyalty to the Reich questioned; even by Wolfy.  I knew without doubt or reservation that he loved me; but even that love may not be able to conquer his discovery of my questionable loyalty to 'Uncle Adolf'.  I kept my feelings about the war, and the idiot who started it, to myself.

 

Erich and I were in the kitchen, looking to see what we could fix for some lunch when I saw a head go by the kitchen window.  I walked over to the door and looked outside.  It was Gregor.  I opened the door and looked at him standing there; a lopsided grin on his face.

 

"Hey, Boss; do I get to come in?"

 

"Sure.  I'm just surprised to see you." I stood aside.  "Come in."

 

He walked in and looked at Erich.  They nodded to each other.  I closed the door and stepped between them.  I was just making sure.  I needed to introduce them to each other, and I wasn't 100 percent sure what Gregor's reaction was going to be to meeting the boy who shot his father.  I looked at Erich and tried to give him a look of encouragement.  He nodded.

 

"Erich, I'd like you meet Gregor.  Gregor, this is Erich; he helps me, too."

 

They reached around me to shake hands.  Gregor spoke first.  "Relax, Erich, I know who you are; I'm not mad at you."

 

Erich released the breath he'd been holding.  "I'm so, so sorry…  I didn't mean to kill him…."  He started crying.  Gregor looked at me.

 

"Would you get out of my way; I'm not going to hurt him?"

 

I moved back a couple of steps and Gregor went to Erich and pulled him into his arms, shushing him.

 

"Erich…. It's OK… I'm not mad.  I know you didn't mean to; you were just protecting this guy.  My dad was an ass from the time he was born.  I knew he'd overload his mouth some day.  Don't feel bad, Erich.  Please."

 

Erich just hugged him tight, crying and sobbing into his shoulder; apologizing for killing his father, over and over again.  They held each other for about 5 minutes; Erich finally started to calm down a little.  Maybe that was what he'd needed; forgiveness.  Forgiveness from the son of the man he killed.  Erich finally broke the hug, his face wet with the tears he'd shed.  I looked at Gregor; he even had a few tears on his face.  He gave Erich a small smile and stood back about 30 cm, looking at Erich.

 

"Erich, I have no ill will towards you; you did what you thought you needed to do.  I would've done the same thing in your place, maybe not for this one, but for anyone I cared about.  I forgive you.  Don't worry about it anymore; OK?"

 

Erich nodded his head.  "Thank you, Gregor…  I don't know if I could ever forgive someone for shooting and killing my father; but then I love him very much.  I wouldn't have blamed you for hating me, but I'm glad you don't."  He gave Gregor a shy smile.

 

"I don't hate you.  I've come so close to killing him myself so many times, that maybe I'm kind of relieved that someone else finally did it.  He was an awful, hatful, terrible man, Erich.  He beat me from the time I was 4 or 5 years old and was always telling me how worthless I was.  There is no love lost, Erich; he got what he deserved.  I would never go so far as to say thank you, but I'm not too upset that he's gone.  Forgive yourself, Erich; it's the only way you're going to get past this."

 

Erich nodded his head again.  "I'll try…"  He thought for a moment, remembering Gregor's off-handed comment about 'not for this one'.  "You wouldn't protect Willy if you had to?"

 

Gregor had to think about that one.  "I don't really know…  We started as enemies; I'm not sure I would be willing to kill for him.  I mean, I like him well enough now, but we're not exactly what I'd call friends."

 

"How did you start as enemies; I thought you worked for him?"

 

Gregor chuckled.  "He arrested me for just standing by the damn trees."

 

Erich laughed.  "He did me, too; but he was just doing his duty; I don't hate him.  He's become my friend."

 

Gregor looked at me.  "What is it with you; you just hang out under the trees, waiting to arrest people?"

 

"You know why I arrested you; don't even try to put that on me."

 

"Maybe, but did you do the same things to him?"

 

"He wasn't being a smart-ass to me."

 

Erich broke in.  "What did he do to you?"

 

"You don't want to know.  We've gotten past it; we've moved on.  Let's just say I pissed him off a little."

 

"I have noticed he has a short temper; I know I would never cross him."

 

I had to re-direct this conversation.  "So Gregor, why are you here?"

 

He gave me a look.  "I came to tell you that I saw some guy getting something from under some thick undergrowth.  I couldn't tell what it was, but he shoved it in a cloth bag and carried it off.  I ran down to where he'd picked the stuff up, but I didn't see anything there."

 

"Did you get a good look at him?"

 

"Not real good.  He's probably about my age; stands about 180 cm, and weighs about 75 kilos.  He was wearing a cap so I couldn't see his hair; and I was too far away to see his eyes."

 

"What was he wearing?"

 

"Brown cloth pants and a dark green, long sleeve shirt; and the cap, a tweedy looking cap."

 

"What do you mean, tweedy looking?  Did it have a pattern or something to it?"

 

"Yeah, like that; kind of what I've seen in movies; like the Brits wear."

 

"Which way did he go?"

 

"Back towards the village; heading across the field the way he'd come, but back in a westerly direction."

 

"Damn….  I wonder if he's heading into town to set some explosives."

 

"Maybe that's what he shoved in the bag; explosives."

 

"Son of a bitch; let's go.  You can come with me so you can tell me if you see him.  We'll start in the village; see if we can stop him."  I turned to walk into the dining room to grab the machine pistol that was leaning against the radio table.  I looked at Erich on the way.  "Stay here, Erich, please.  I'll be back as soon as I can."

 

"Shouldn't you wake up Wolfy, or someone?  You can't go out there by yourself, Willy; you're still healing."

 

"Let them sleep, Erich; they're all tired.  I'll be back as soon as I can; keep an eye on them for me."

 

I grabbed the machine pistol and headed out the back door; Gregor was hot on my tail.   He made a comment as soon as we were out the back door.

 

"Why does he get to stay in there by himself, and I don't?"

 

"He's not going to hold an auction while everyone sleeps."

 

Gregor smirked.  "You'll always be an ass."

 

"You really expected me to change?"

 

"No."

 

We jumped in the car and headed in the direction of the village.  Once we arrived, we started driving around, going up and down every street and alleyway; Gregor was looking out the windshield and the side windows, trying to spot our man.  We spent about 30 minutes, slowly driving around, but to no avail.  I told Gregor to take me out to the undergrowth where he saw the guy pick up his stash.  We headed out to the field that Gregor had been watching and he pointed me to the undergrowth.  I stopped the car and we both got out and started looking around.  After spending about 20 minutes looking, still not finding anything, I stopped and looked at Gregor.

 

"I guess he got everything he had stashed; there's nothing here."

 

"Maybe he has two or more hiding places?"

 

"Yeah, but where?"

 

"I don't know; you're the cop; you tell me."

 

I just looked at him.  "I wasn't the one watching him; you were.  Anyway, he's given us the slip, we'll just have to keep our eyes and ears open."

 

"Maybe he spotted me watching him, and he's just re-locating to a different hiding place?"

 

"Could be…  I hope we find the bastard before he blows something up.  Let's drive around a little longer; maybe we'll get lucky."

 

"You're the boss."

 

We got back in the car and drove back to the village; both of us keeping a close eye on everything and everyone.  After another 30 minutes driving around we'd spotted no one suspicious so I headed back to the farm.  I was about to walk into a shit storm; one very pissed off Wolfy was waiting for my return.  I no sooner got the car stopped and he was storming out of the house, heading my way.

 

"Where the fuck were you!?  You had no business going out there without someone with you!"

 

I got out of the car, looking at him.  "Excuse me?  I don't know who you think you're talking to, but I suggest you rein it in!"

 

"And why the fuck is this idiot with you!?  What the hell were you thinking!?"

 

"Wolfy, you'd better stand down before I get pissed!  I will not be talked to like that by anyone, and that includes you!"

 

"You're going to hear me out!  I wake up and Erich tells me you're out looking for someone!  What the fuck were you thinking about, going out there without one of us!?"

 

"That's enough!!  Don't you ever presume the right to chew my ass; I don't answer to you!  I'm the commanding fucking officer here and I will not be questioned by anyone!"

 

"Don't you dare try to pull rank on me, just because this asshole is standing here!  I think I deserve a fucking answer!"

 

"And I deserve some fucking respect!!" 

 

I hadn't noticed that we'd gathered an audience.  Jan, Erich and Hage were standing on the back porch, watching and listening to the whole exchange.

 

"And I don't?  What kind of respect are you showing me by just taking off with this fuck and not telling anyone?"

 

I looked at him, with anger in my eyes, and pointed to the barn.  "Get over there, now!  We're going to settle this; and I don't think anyone needs to hear.  Move!!"

 

He gave me a dirty look and stomped off towards the barn; I stepped in right behind him.  We got to the door and he yanked it open and walked in.  I closed the door behind us and looked at him, still very pissed but trying my level best to control it.

 

"What the hell is going on, Wolfy!?  You have no right to speak to me that way!"

 

"Oh, so you're going to whip out those Captains' bars again? Tell me I'm nothing more than your subordinate?"

 

"That's not what I'm saying!  We're speaking man to man, and I want to know what gives you the right to talk to me like a petulant child?"

 

He stopped.  He was breathing heavy and trying to control his temper.  "I was scared, dammit!  I almost lost you two weeks ago; do you really think I want to go through that again?"

 

"That still doesn't give you the right to call me out.  And I don't give a fuck who's standing there; you have no right to do it!"

 

"Why didn't you come and get me?  You had no right to go out there by yourself; and that fuck doesn't count as protection."

 

"I'm a grown man Wolfy; I don't need to be protected.  I made a decision based on the information available to me; and I acted on it."

 

"You still should have woken me or Hage up; you don't have the right to put your life at risk."

 

"Wolfy, regardless of our relationship, I have the right to do what I think I need to do.  I didn't want to wake you; I just needed to get moving before the guy had a chance to get too far away."

 

"And how did that work out for you; I don't see him?"

 

I shook my head, trying to control my response.  "Don't be a smart-ass Wolfy; I'm trying to tell you what happened."

 

"I'm sorry.  I still don't think you had the right to do that; to just take off."

 

"I'm sorry you feel that way."  I sighed.  "You have no right to call me out, though."

 

He started pacing around in circles, looking every bit as agitated as he's been for the last 5 minutes.  He stopped in front of me again.

 

"Do you have any idea what I went through when you got shot; when I thought I was going to lose you?"

 

I sighed again.  "I'm sorry…  That still doesn't make it OK for you to yell at me."

 

"I've never been that scared in my entire life; until today."  He paused a moment.  "What would you have done in my place, today?"

 

He kind of had me on that one.  I groaned.  "The same fucking thing…."

 

"So tell me, and be honest, I don't have the right to get scared and angry just because you're my commanding officer?"

 

"I never said that.  I said you had no right to call me out."

 

"Didn't I?  You just said you would've done the same thing.  I thought we were equal partners in this….  Maybe I was just fooling myself."  He looked down at the floor.

 

"I'm sorry…  We are equal partners, Wolfy; I just have never liked getting my ass chewed out.  It doesn't matter who it is; I hate being yelled at.  You could have approached this in a different way; less yelling and more talking."

 

"Would you have?"

 

I sighed.  "Probably not…  I'm sorry.  I don't know what more I can say.  You're right; I should have at least had the courtesy and respect to wake you and tell you what was going on.  I apologize, bärchen."

 

"I'm sorry, too.  I shouldn't have gotten so pissed.  I was just terrified; and that turned into anger when I saw you pull up with that dickhead."

 

"I understand.  I just want to be treated with respect; I think I deserve that.  I'm so sick of being treated like an invalid around here; like a little boy with the chickenpox."

 

He sighed again.  "I'm sorry I do that; I can't help it though.  You really don't know what I went through that day.  I thought I was going to lose you, and I promised myself and God that I would do anything to protect you if you didn't leave me.  I've been in battle, Willy; I've seen some horrible things; things that scared me to death.  But I've never been as scared as I was that day.  I know we tell each other we love each other all of the time; but I never fully realized how much I love you until that day.  Not even when Jan was going to send that telegram, did I know just how much.  That first night at the doctor's, I cried for the first time since I was 11; I was so scared.  I pleaded with God to save you; to keep you here with me."

 

I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling awful about scaring him so much.  "I'm so sorry.  I… I'm sorry bärchen; I had no idea."  I sighed again.  "I know without a doubt that you love me; but I've always thought that you were still struggling with this whole thing.  That you were trying to come to terms with loving another man."

 

"I did for a little while; until that night with Jan.  Since then, I have given myself to you, Willy; I have let myself open, and I've fallen desperately in love with you."  He exhaled, sighing.  "You are my life; and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.  The idea that I could lose you terrifies me like nothing ever has.  I don't understand it.  I don't know why it is.  I don't even really know how it happened.  I just know how I feel."

 

"I fell in love with you the first time I saw you; knowing in my heart that you might never feel anything for me.  I… I know I would probably just take my own life if anything ever happened to you; so I do understand the fear.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I scared you.  I'm sorry I doubted your commitment to us.  I won't do it again."

 

He grinned.  "You'd better not.  So, are we OK?  Do you forgive me for yelling at you?"

 

I grinned back at him.  "Of course.  I forgive you, if you'll forgive me.  Let's just try to learn to talk first and yell later, OK?"

 

He smirked.  "Kind of like shoot first and ask questions later?"

 

"Something like that."  I looked at him for a moment, lost in his eyes, as usual.  "I'm scared, too.  You know why?  Because I have this constant thought in the back of my head, about what will happen to us.  When this assignment is over; what happens to us?  I've been afraid to talk about it; thinking if I didn't talk about it, it wouldn't happen."

 

He stopped grinning.  "I know; I've had the same thoughts.  I've had fantasies about just running away with you if we get ordered to different assignments when we're done here.  I know you would never do that; never desert; and I wouldn't either, but I have thought about it.  Please don't think less of me Willy; they were just fantasies.  But yeah, I don't know what's going to happen either; and it eats at me every day."

 

"Oh bärchen, I could never think badly of you; you are my life.  We need to have a serious talk soon; about what could happen; about what we're going to do.  We need to have an open, honest discussion about our future together.  We will find a time to talk away from everyone; to speak openly."

 

"OK.  I'd like that.  I worry about it every day, and I need to talk to you about it, too."  He paused again and then grinned.  "Just think; we've had our first fight today."

 

I smirked.  "Yeah, we have.  And we're still right here.  See, I told you the world wouldn't come crashing down at our beck and call.  I love you.  I love you more than I ever thought possible."

 

He smiled.  "I love you, too, with everything in me.  Let's get back out there before they all think we're in here either trying to kill each other or fucking each other."

 

I laughed.  "OK.  Hug me first.  Please."

 

"You never have to ask…."

 

We gave each a big bear hug, holding it for about 20 seconds before pulling back.  I leaned forward and kissed him, bringing my right hand to his face and resting it there.  I'd always loved touching his face.  We broke the kiss and I left my hand there a moment longer.  After looking in each other's eyes for a moment we separated and walked back to the door, leaving the barn.  There was nobody outside.  I immediately wondered if Jan had been spying on us again, but as soon as we walked in the door I saw him in the front room with Erich, Hage and Gregor.  They were all sitting, Hage and Erich on the couch together, and Jan and Gregor in separate chairs, just watching us come in, not saying a word.  Gregor was the first to speak.

 

"Well at least you're both still alive.  It was kind of fun to watch somebody finally call you on your shit.  Everything OK?"

 

"Yeah, we worked it out.  And don't get cocky; just because I didn't kill him for doing it, don't think I wouldn't kill you for the same thing."

 

"I never said I'd do it; I just enjoyed the show.  You're always such an arrogant ass; it was nice to see someone get in your face for once."

 

"Well I hope you enjoyed it; you'll never see it again.  Why are you still here?"

 

"Just waiting to find out who made it out alive."  He stood up.  "I'm gone.  Oh, can I get my money while I'm here?  These guys may work for you for duty and honor, but I have a mouth to feed."

 

Wolfy jumps in.  "There isn't enough food in Germany to fill your mouth."

 

Gregor looked at him and smirked.  "I'll let that one pass; your balls are just way too fuckin' big to take on."  He looked back at me.  "My money?"

 

I pulled some money out, counted out 20 and handed it to him.  "Don't spend it all in one place.  Thanks for telling me about the man you saw.  We'll keep an eye out for him."

 

"That is what you hired me for.  I'm back to work; try not to kill someone in the next hour, would you?"

 

"Then maybe you should run now, while you still can."

 

He smirked and then grinned at me.  "Tough guy.  See you later, Boss."

 

He walked out of the front door and the rest of them just looked at me.  I knew what they were thinking.

 

"He's a total prick, but he does what I pay him for; I can deal with him."

 

Hage looked at me.  "You don't owe us any kind of explanation, Willy; we just think he's a dickhead; that's all."

 

"He is, but we have an understanding.  Are you all waiting for something?"

 

Jan spoke up.  "Are you guys OK?"

 

"We're fine, Jan.  We worked it out."

 

He shook his head.  "I've seen a lot from you two that I never thought I'd see; but I never would have believed in a thousand years that you would go at each other like that.  Are you really OK?"

 

I smiled at him.  "We're really OK, Jan.  Thanks for the concern.  We both crossed some boundaries and we talked it out.  We move forward."

 

Erich looked at me.  "You still love each other, though; right?  You're not going to stop loving each other, are you?"

 

I smiled at him.  "No, Erich; we're not going to stop loving each other.  You can fight with someone and still love them."

 

"Good.  No one should lose their best friend over words; it's stupid."

 

I grinned at him.  "Yes, it is."

 

He looked at Wolfy.  "Did you apologize to Willy?  Did you tell him you were sorry for yelling at him?"

 

Wolfy smiled at him.  "I did, Erich; I told him I was sorry for yelling."

 

Erich smiled.  "Good.  I don't want you two fighting again; it's scary."

 

Wolfy smiled at him again.  I looked at the 3 of them sitting there and gave them all a small smile.  I turned to Wolfy.

 

"I'm going upstairs to take a piss, and then I'm going to write a report about Gregor's discovery.  If you guys would like to get some lunch together; I'd be grateful."

 

He grinned.  "We already ate; Erich fixed us lunch.  You're on your own."

 

I smirked.  I turned to Erich.  "Thanks a lot.  I thought we were fixing lunch together?"

 

He gave me a shy smile.  "I'm sorry, Willy.  You left and I was still hungry, so I fixed lunch.  I woke up these guys and we ate.  I'll fix you something."  He jumped up off the couch.

 

I knew he would never take no for an answer.  "Thank you, Erich; I'd like that.  I looked at the rest of them.  "It's nice to know someone around here cares about my weak condition." 

 

I laughed once and walked towards the stairs.  As one voice, all three of them just said, 'ass'.  I laughed and continued up the stairs to our room.  I'd been working at my desk for about 15 minutes when Erich quietly knocked on the door frame.  I looked up and smiled at him.  He walked over and set a plate, loaded with food, on the desk in front of me, setting a beer down next to the plate.  I couldn't believe the amount of food he'd brought me.

 

"My God; are you trying to fatten me up to serve for Christmas?"  I smiled at him.

 

He smirked.  "No…  I just wanted you to have a good lunch.  You've been up all day without eating; you need to eat."

 

"Well, thank you, Erich; this is wonderful.  I may not have to eat again for a week; but I love it.  Thanks."

 

He grinned at me.  "You're welcome.  If you need another beer when you finish that one, just tell me, and I will bring you one."

 

"Thank you."

 

He smiled again.  "Are you sure you and Wolfy are going to be OK?"

 

"Yes, Erich; I'm sure.  We gave each a big hug and kiss; we'll be fine."

 

He grinned.  "Good.  I'm glad.  I was scared that you two would stop loving each other."

 

"If you really love someone; deep in your heart, you never have to worry about that.  True love knows no bounds, Erich.  Would you stop loving Sasha just because you guys fought?"

 

"We fight all of the time.  We still love each other."

 

I grined at him.  "See?  This was Wolfy's and my first fight; but we're still in love; so don't worry about it."

 

He smiled big.  "I'm glad.  I'll let you get back to work."

 

"Thank you for the huge lunch, my friend.  I'll be down as soon as I finish this report."

 

"OK."  He turned and walked out.

 

I started thinking about what I'd said to him.  Does true love know no bounds?  Wolfy said he'd fantasized about running away with me; would he really?  Would he leave the SS; desert; turn his back on the Nazis and Hitler?  Just to run off with me?  I would do it for him in a heartbeat; but I wasn't as 'programmed' as he is.  He's had this indoctrination since he was a boy; could he really bring himself to turn his back on it?  We had both said we would die for the other.  People in love say that frequently; do they really mean it?  After what he told me today I had no further doubts about his devotion and love for me; but I was still very leery about pressing him about his allegiances.  We needed to have that open, honest discussion I'd told him I wanted.  I just had to be extremely careful about what I said to him; what I let him know about how I really felt about my masters.

 

I finished my lunch and my report, and went back downstairs.  Erich was the only one in the house.

 

"Where is everyone?"

 

"Jan and Hage went on patrol.  Wolfy is outside smoking."

 

"Thanks." 

 

I smiled at him and walked into the kitchen to drop off my dirty dishes.  I looked through the window in the door and saw Wolfy standing over by the shed that Jakob had been in.  I walked outside and over to him, smiling.  He smiled back at me and held his cigarette out to me.

 

"I told you baby, I quit.  You finish it."

 

"You said that before."

 

"Are you trying to contribute to my delinquency?"

 

He smirked.  "I don't think I could make you any more delinquent than you already are."

 

I laughed.  "Hey, there's a difference between delinquency and perversion."

 

He laughed.  "It's a fine line sometimes, Willy.  Did you get your report and your feast finished?"

 

I laughed again.  "Yeah, just barely.  That boy's trying to fatten me up to be served as dinner some night."

 

He grinned.  "Eh, he just loves you; he wants to make sure you're well taken care of.  We have that in common."

 

"I know…  I need to get used to the idea that people will do things for me because they love me.  I don't have any experience with that; at least since I was a boy."

 

"Yeah, well I don't either; but I'm starting to like the idea more and more."  He looked at me, kind of intently.  "I'm sorry Willy.  I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the ass about you getting better.  I'm very sorry I yelled at you.  You were right; I had no right to talk to you that way.  And it has nothing to do with rank or position.  You're my lover and I should not have spoken to you that way."

 

I smiled at him.  "Don't worry about it anymore.  We'll get past this.  I already forgave you for that.  I understand why you did it; you were scared and worried about me.  And I love having you take care of me; you just need to ease back a little."

 

He smiled.  "No more playing mother, huh?"

 

"No.  I have a mother already; you're my lover, and that's far better to me than anything I can think of.  I understand why you do it; I would be doing the exact same thing if it were you who had been hurt."

 

He chuckled.  "I've seen you with Erich; you'd be worse.  You'd make a great father, Willy.  You adore him as much as he does you."

 

I blused.  "Yeah, well…  You're not jealous, are you?"

 

He laughed.  "God no; I would hope I have nothing to worry about from a 14 year old.  I know you don't feel that way about him; you're his friend and nothing more.  Well, maybe surrogate father; but nothing kinky."

 

I laughed loudly.  "I don't know, Wolfy; he's awfully cute…. That cute butt and shy smile just do something for me."  I grinned at him.

 

He broke up laughing.  "My God, you are a pervert; I was just teasing before."  He laughed some more.

 

"Laugh it up, big boy…  I got your pervert right here.  I have no intention of sharing it with Erich, or anyone else, though."

 

He grinned.  "You'd better not.  I'm young, and you say I'm sexy, but I can't compete with a 14 year old in cute."

 

"I wouldn't be so sure about that.  I can't tell you the number of times I've seen you do something, or have an expression on your face, that I just thought was cute as hell; adorable."

 

He blushed.  "Oh no….  I'm a lot of things, Willy; but cute isn't one of them; please."

 

I grinned at him.  "I don't know  bärchen; there are moments….  Surprising, remarkable moments, when I catch something that just makes me think 'cute'."

 

He blushed red and shook his head.  "Yeah, well… You're just in love with me; you see what you want to see."

 

"Think what you will; I know what I see."  I smiled at him.

 

"OK, give me an example of my being cute."

 

I grinned.  "The first night we snuck out to the barn together.  You were being all covert about sneaking around the house.  When you got to the edge you looked back at me and smiled, then took off for the barn; looking behind you, smiling mischievously, to make sure I was coming.  You were like a kid with a secret hide-out you were taking me to."

 

He turns crimson.  I smirked.  "Oh man….  That's not nice.  Come on, Willy; I was just trying to make sure nobody knew what we were up to; I wasn't trying to be cute."

 

"That's what makes it better, Wolfy; when it just comes to the surface all on its own.  There are also times you'll get a look on your face, just a certain look; that makes me suddenly stop and think to myself, 'how adorable is that?'"

 

He turns even more crimson.  "Stop; please!  You're going to turn me into a damn blushing, school girl."

 

I laughed.  "It's too late; you're already bright red.  Don't worry about it; it's just you and me here.  I'm not going to tell anyone; and I'm not going to tease you about it, either; I promise.  I love those moments; why would I screw with them?"

 

He shook his head more.  "OK.  I don't know what it is I do, but if you love it; who am I to argue?"

 

I grinned.  "That's the best way to look at it.  Now, on to business; what should we do about this man Gregor spotted?"

 

"Keep an eye for him.  You still haven't given anyone a description; what does this man look like?"

 

"He's 180 cm; 75 kilos.  He's about your age.  He was wearing a tweedy hat, according to Gregor; like the Brits wear.  He had on brown cloth pants and a dark green shirt.  That's all he could give me; he was too far away to get details."

 

"Well, I guess something's better than nothing.  You want to go have a look around; see if we can spot him?"

 

"Yeah, let's do that.  We can take Erich home and go look around."

 

"OK.  I'll bring the car around front.  Just get Erich and meet me out there, please."

 

I grinned.  "I will.  And thanks for saying, 'please'."

 

He turned red again.  "Just remember; I do it because you're my lover, not because you're my commander."

 

I smiled big.  "That's what was I talking about.  Thank you."

 

"Just go get your boy."  He grinned at me.

 

I smiled at him again and turned around and headed back in the house.  I found Erich in the front room, sitting on the couch, reading my officer's manual.  Jan must have left it around.

 

"I can't believe you're still awake, reading that; it's incredibly boring."

 

He smiled up at me.  "No, it's not.  I never knew there was so much involved in being an officer; and especially being in command of a group of men.  Wow."

 

"That's what I was trying to get across to Jan; he thinks it's all fun and glory; and giving orders."

 

"Has he read this?"

 

I laughed.  "I think so.  We traded manuals; I read his and he was going to read mine.  Are you ready to get going; Wolfy and I are going to take you home and go have a look around some more for that man."

 

"Can't I come with you?  I won't be in the way; I promise."

 

"No, because if someone starts shooting I don't want you anywhere near; I'd be terrified you'd get hurt.  I can't have you hurt, Erich; it would destroy me."

 

"Can I just stay here, then?  I could fix dinner for everyone; and make everyone's bed and clean their room."

 

"You're not our maid, Erich; you don't need to wait on us.  You're our friend, and should expect to be treated as such.  Don't you want to see Sasha?"

 

"He's still with his grandparents; he won't be back until later tonight.  Can't I stay here, please?"

 

I've learned I can no more tell him 'no' than I can Wolfy.  "OK.  But you're not our maid; you don't have to clean up after us.  Just read the manual, I guess; we'll be back as soon as we can."

 

He lit up.  "Thanks!!  I'll still fix dinner for you though!"

 

I shook my head and smiled at him.  "OK.  You have a deal.  Don't let anyone in here; other than our men, OK?"

 

He smiled again; he caught the 'our men'.  "I won't; I promise."

 

"I'll be back soon."

 

"You and Wolfy be careful.  Please."

 

"We will; I promise."

 

I walked out the front door and saw Wolfy sitting in the car.  He looked at me like, well … where's the kid?

 

"He's staying here; he wants to fix dinner for us."

 

Wolfy smiled.  "Yes!  He's actually a pretty good cook!"

 

I got in the car and we took off for town.  We circled around the village twice and then headed out to our stake-out locations, checking on everyone while we were there.  I realized we hadn't heard from Peter for awhile.  I told Wolfy to head to the hill that Peter was stationed on.  When we finally pulled up, I didn't see any signs of him.  No Peter, no weapon, no thermos, no nothing.  I looked at Wolfy, frowning.

 

"Where the hell could he have gone?"

 

"Maybe he's walking back to the farm?"

 

"Head that way; but go cross-country, like he would when he's walking."

 

He started the car again and turned around, bouncing and rattling across the fields, following the path he thought Peter would take to the farm.  We got back to the farm in about 25 minutes and I jumped out and ran inside.  Erich was in the kitchen, peeling potatoes.

 

"Erich, has Peter been here?"

 

"I haven't seen him come in; what's wrong?"

 

"I can't find him.  Would you go check his room, please?"

 

He tore out of the kitchen, running through the front room and bounding up the stairs.  I heard a door close, then Erich calling out for Peter.  I heard him run back down the stairs, stumbling off the last few.  He screeched to a halt in the dining room where I was standing.

 

"He's not up there, Willy!  What should we do?"

 

"You wait for him here.  If he shows up tell him to stay here; that we're out looking for him and will check back every 30 to 40 minutes."

 

"OK.  Please find Peter, Willy!"

 

"I will.  Don't worry."

 

I ran back out to the car and jumped in.

 

"He's not here and Erich hasn't seen him.  Head over to where he was staking out before I got shot."

 

He slammed the clutch down and shoved the lever into first and peeled out of the driveway.  We were pulling up to Peter's old stake-out location within 10 minutes.  I hadn't realized this little Opel could move that fast.  We came screeching to a halt and both of us jumped out and started walking around; looking for any signs Peter had been there.  We spent about 10 minutes looking around; not even seeing much in the way of trampled grass.  I told Wolfy to head over to Jan's location; maybe Peter's just checking up on everyone himself.  15 minutes later we were pulling up to a surprised Jan.

 

"You two just miss me that much?"  He smiled.

 

"No, we're looking for Peter; has he been here?"

 

"No.  Why would Peter be here?  Isn't he at his location?"

 

"No.  He hasn't been at the house and he's not at his location.  We checked the old location and he hasn't been there either."

 

"Maybe he saw something curious and went to check it out.  I don't think Peter would just goof off and go wandering around."

 

"I don't either.  I'm afraid something might have happened.  I don't even remember the last time I saw him."  I was getting frustrated again.  "This whole stake-out thing is turning into a really bad idea.  I knew from the beginning that you men shouldn't be without a wing-man, and I go and have you spending hours by yourselves out in the middle of nowhere."

 

Jan looked at me, frowning.  "Would you stop that!?  I'm sick of hearing how you worry about us; we're grown men, dammit!  We're trained SS soldiers and we're capable of doing a damn stake-out.  I'm not saying something might not have happened to Peter; but stop blaming yourself for everything."

 

I looked back and forth between him and Wolfy.  "What is this, 'pick on Willy', day?  I've been yelled at twice for something and it's only 3 o'clock."

 

Wolfy smirked.  "Hey, you're the one who said we should speak our minds.  Do you really think any of us would have uttered a word if you'd been like a normal commander?"

 

I looked at him and grinned.  "Smart-ass.  Fine; but as you informed me so vehemently, not two hours ago, it's hard not to worry about the people you care about and blame yourself if something goes wrong.  If you two have this figured out; I'm all ears.  Tell me what you want me to do.  I mean, hell, I'm not even in command right now; Peter is, so I'm at your service; give me an order."

 

They both laughed.  Jan looked at me, grinning.  "If you're serious, then here it is.  Several, actually…  First, pull your head out of your ass and stop worrying about things you can't control.  We were sent here to do a job, and you blaming yourself for something going wrong isn't going to change that.  Second.  Stop running around like a headless chicken and work out a plan.  Third.  Stop being such an ass about everything.  You're like a little Hitler, running around barking orders, even after telling us that's not how you work; and getting all bent when things don't go your way.  Fourth.  Let us do our jobs.  We are capable men; you said so yourself the day you met us, and we are good at what we do.  Stop trying to protect us.  You already cut our hours in the field in half, stop playing mother hen.  Last.  Find Peter."

 

Wolfy was standing there, slack jawed and I was just staring at Jan; wide-eyed.  He started to get nervous.  I found my voice first.  "For someone who's intimidated by officers you sure grew some big balls.  I'm not mad and I'm not offended, Jan; don't panic.  I'm shocked, I guess.  The only thing that really bothered me about everything you said is; you're right."

 

"I know I am.  I'm sorry for going off; but yes, I know I'm right.  So what are you going to do?  How are you going to find Peter?"

 

"You come with Wolfy and me; we'll get Hage and form a search party.  We'll comb the area, working as a team, and we'll find Peter.  On the way to get Hage I want to stop by the market and ask Herr Reinhard if Peter's been in today; maybe he stopped to get a bottle of wine.  Before we head out we will stop at the farm and check with Erich."

 

"Let's go."

 

He grabbed his machine gun and walked around to the back door of the car, getting in on the passenger side.  Wolfy looked at me and grinned, then winked at me and got behind the wheel.  I joined them on the passenger side and we were off to get Hage.  We pulled up in front of the market and all went in.  We still hadn't seemed to figure out a way to walk into a building without looking like an invasion.  Herr Reinhard looked up from his books, surprised.

 

"My, you men do eat a lot; you were just here yesterday."

 

Wolfy laughed.  I spoke to Reinhard.  "No, I'm sorry for the intrusion, but we're actually looking for Peter, the tall, well-built blond one; has he been in for wine today?"

 

"I know who Peter is, and no, I'm sorry I haven't seen him today.  He is missing?"

 

"He is.  He was on patrol and has not returned.  We were hoping maybe he had stopped in to get some wine from you."

 

"I'm sorry, no.  He was last in here for wine 2 weeks ago.  I have seen him with young, Alexander, since then, but not alone.  Do you require help in searching for him?"

 

"Thank you, no.  We don't want to get anyone else involved; we will find him.  Thank you, Herr Reinhard."

 

"You're welcome.  You do know there are many people here who will help you find Peter.  Many of us have grown to respect you all greatly; and appreciate your presence here."

 

"I'm honored you all feel that way; but we cannot put anyone at risk; in case Peter has been abducted or is being held hostage."

 

"So, the four of you, and I know you're all quite capable, are going to comb 50 square kilometers on your own?"

 

This is not my day.  Everyone has found the need to argue with me.  "I mean no disrespect, Sir; but we simply cannot allow anyone to risk getting injured or killed, helping us look for our man."

 

"Then at least let us pass the word that he is missing; and for him to report home as soon as he is found."

 

I was losing my third argument in as many hours.  "Thank you, Sir.  That would be very good of you."

 

"Very well.  I will pass word to all the shop keepers to be on the lookout for Herr Schiller; and to send him home immediately should they see him."

 

"Thank you, Herr Reinhard; that is most gracious of you."

 

"Please."  He looks at Hage, his favorite, and smiles at him.  "Alexander, you are well?"

 

"Yes, Herr Reinhard.  I'm worried about Peter, but I am well; and you?"

 

"I'm fine.  Find your comrade and be safe about it, please.  We will have him in our prayers for his safe recovery.  Now scoot, you have work to do."

 

Hage smiled at him.  "Yes, Sir."

 

We all bid Herr Reinhard farewell and piled back in the car.  Wolfy drove back to the farm and we all went in to see if Erich has any news.  He didn't.  I looked at the others.

 

"Let's say he hasn't been abducted; where would he go?  Has he ever spoken of anything to any of you about an interest or curiosity about some place around here?"

 

Jan spoke up.  "He once told me, about a month ago; that he was wondering what could be hidden around the silo on the far, east side of town.  He was just saying it in passing though; not like he had an interest in seeing it."

 

"He has good point; the silo could be blown up easily enough.  I still can't imagine him just wandering off; checking something out without telling someone.  There has to be a better explanation."

 

"I'm afraid the only explanation is the fear everyone in this room is feeling; he's been abducted or killed, and taken somewhere."

 

I looked at Hage.  "I hope to God you're wrong, but I'm starting to think the worst myself.  This just isn't like Peter."

 

Erich looked at me, frowning.  "Maybe he spotted someone and went after them?  He's still following them, maybe.  He could be tracking them to their hide-out and laying in wait for them."

 

"That would be something Peter would do.  I hope you're right, Erich.  We need to get back out there and look for him.  Load up, men."

 

"Should I still fix dinner, Willy?"

 

"Yes, please.  Hopefully we'll bring Peter back with us and he can eat your great food."  I smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

 

"I hope so.  I'll get started.  Be safe, Willy."

 

"I will."

 

I walked out the front door and got back in the car, the rest of them joining me.  We spent the next 2½ hours combing everywhere we could think of to find Peter, to no avail.  It would be dark in about an hour; our search would have to come to an end.  We stopped by the farm to check with Erich.  He still hadn't seen Peter, but he did have dinner ready.  We stayed and ate, shoveling in the great food, and being in a hurry to get back out and look some more.  We all thanked Erich for the great food, all giving him a quick hug, and got back in the car.  We set off again to look for our missing Lieutenant.

 

It had been another hour and a half; it was pitch dark, and still no signs of him.  We were all becoming a little dejected.  We were on the dirt road leading back to the farm when I saw someone running ahead of us.  Wolfy saw him, too, and sped up.  We caught up with the runner in a few seconds, stopping in front of him, blocking his way.  He was standing there with his hands on his hips, staring us down.  I recognized the face and got out of the car.  He started in on me; the fourth one today.

 

"Where the fuck have you been; I've been looking all over the place for you!?"

 

"What do you need, Gregor?"

 

"I don't need anything, but your man Peter needs some backup."

 

"Peter!  Where is he!?"

 

"He's over on the other side of the creek; he has someone trapped in there.  He's been watching them for most of the day.  I came up on him about an hour or so ago."

 

"Take us to him, now!"

 

"Don't get bent with me; I'm just here to get you!"

 

"I'm sorry.  We've been out looking for him for the last several hours; I'm a little stressed out.  Get in the car and show us where he is.  Please."

 

He smiled.  "That's better.  Let's go."

 

He squeezed in the front between Wolfy and me, giving Wolfy a weird look.  Maybe he had new found respect for him; he watched him chew my ass out.  He led us over to Erich and Sasha's old campsite and told us to stop there and kill the motor.  Peter was about 300 meters on the other side of the creek; up an embankment.  We all piled out of the car, grabbing weapons and followed him.  After fording the creek and walking and stumbling for about 15 minutes we came upon Peter.  He was just sitting there, his machine pistol on his lap, looking to the east.  I sat down next to him and whispered, "Hey stranger, come here often?"

 

He smirked.  "It's the only place where I can't hear you and Wolfy; the water drowns you out.  What took you so long; I sent Gregor to get you over an hour ago?"

 

"We've been out most of the afternoon and evening looking for your ass.  You left your post without so much as a note.  Consider yourself on report, Sergeant."

 

He smirked again.  "I've been promoted, huh?"

 

"Yeah, well, I've been worried about you.  Think of it as a field promotion.  Who have you got treed in there?"

 

"We haven't been introduced yet.  My friend Gregor, here, tells me it's the same guy he told you about earlier today, before Wolfy jumped your ass.  And you will give me details about that; won't you?"

 

I smiled at him.  "Of course.  He tore me a new one; and not in a fun way either.  So, what is this guy doing, just waiting for the fish to bite?"

 

"I don't know; I'm waiting for him to bite though.  He's been in there for about 2 hours.  Hell, he could be asleep; but I know he hasn't left.  I still see his form on the ground about 250 meters out.  I thought he was going to go for his stash, but he stopped here and hasn't moved since."

 

"Why haven't you just arrested him; are you out of bullets?  I grinned at him.

 

"No, smart-ass; I'm waiting for him to make a move.  I want him to lead me to either his stash or his contact; preferably his contact.  I'm assuming he works the same way as Jakob did."

 

"I think I'm just going to go home and go to bed; you're the fifth person today to call me a smart-ass."

 

"Maybe you should just think about why you're being called one.  From what I hear, I'm pretty sure Wolfy did; who else?"  He smiled at me.

 

"Jan, Hage, Gregor and even Herr Reinhard, in his own way.  Hell, even Erich looked like he'd like to say it, but was too afraid to."

 

He smirked again.  "Only you could piss off Herr Reinhard enough to be called a smart-ass by him.  You've really been on a roll for the last few weeks; what is with you, anyway?"

 

"I don't know, Peter.  I think I was just letting my 'hospitalization' really get to me.  So, what are our plans for this guy?"

 

"We wait him out.  I don't want him; I want his contact.  He's worthless to me."

 

"I'm sure he feels the same about you.  So you're just going to spend the night watching him?"

 

"Well I was hoping for a little help from my team; if it isn't too much trouble."

 

"Got any wine on you?"

 

"I drank it all."

 

"Then you get Wolfy and Jan; they chewed the hardest on me.  I'll take Hage back with me."

 

He looks at me.  "Jan?  Jan really chewed you out?"

 

"Let me have it; with both barrels even."

 

He looked shocked.  He smirked though.  "Well, good for him!  This wasn't about you and the big guy; was it?"

 

I grinned.  "No…  It was about me not letting the men do their jobs and treating them like little boys; trying to be a mother hen."

 

He grinned bigger.  "Good for him!  So, did he get through?"

 

"You think I've been doing that?"

 

"You don't?"

 

"I hadn't noticed.  But, yes, he got through."

 

"Good for him!"  We both laughed quietly.  "I never thought in a million years he'd be the one to tell you, but I'm glad he did.  Your psyche will survive being chewed out by two subordinates; I promise."

 

"They are only subordinate in rank, Peter.  I guess I had it all coming.  I didn't like it one bit, but I took it; sort of."

 

"You didn't jump back at Jan, did you?"

 

'No.  I was all jumped out after Wolfy."

 

"You will tell me that story later.  I don't mean to be nosy, but I'm dying with curiosity about what could've made that boy get mad enough at you to jump your shit.  He worships you almost as much as Erich does."

 

"I fucked up; what else can I say?"

 

"A lot, but later; I want details."

 

"You're worse than an old washer woman."

 

He grinned.  "Hey, watching you two is like watching a fucking fairytale; it's nice to know some reality has seeped in.  Let me have my moment."

 

"Fine.  We'll talk later.  Are you OK with my plan; about Wolfy and Jan?"

 

"Yes.  You don't want to stay and watch?  Are you afraid of those two young men, now?"

 

"Blow me.  I have several people looking for you; I need to tell them we found you.  I'll come back when I'm done."

 

"Wolfy would kill me on sight; blow yourself.  Why do you have people looking for me?"

 

"It's part of my mother hen routine.  I really was scared, Peter; I thought you'd been abducted or killed.  We all did."

 

"I'm sorry; I didn't know how to get word to you without losing the trail.  I'll make it up to you.  I'll let Hage blow you."  He smiled and laughed to himself.

 

"Do I want to know how you can let Hage do that?"

 

"Unlike you, I don't tell tales out of school."

 

"This, from the man who said he knew every perverted thing that goes on in that house; and told me about them?"

 

He grinned.  "Let's just say Alex made the offer and I didn't turn it down."

 

"Alex?"  I grin.  "Are you coming over to the dark side, Peter?"

 

"I told you; I've visited the dark side before; just getting a little reacquainted with it.  With all the perversion taking place around me I was feeling left out.  He caught me on a good day."

 

I grinned at him.  "You mean he caught you on a horny day."

 

"There's a difference?"

 

"I only have one question.  Is he as good as Wolfy says?"

 

"You won't ever hear a complaint from me."  He grinned.

 

I shook my head, grinning at him.  "Are we wrong, Peter, to be doing this with them?"

 

"Yes.  But we do what we need to do to survive.  We do what we want to do for pleasure.  We love because we can't not love."

 

"Do you love Alex?"

 

"No, I was talking about you and bärchen.  Alex and I are the same as he and Wolfy were.  I guess I'm sloppy seconds."  He smirked.

 

"I doubt he looks at you that way.  But yeah, I guess you're right.  We do what we need to do.  No regrets."

 

"Exactly, my friend; no regrets; we have too many of those all ready."

 

"I don't regret Wolfy; not for a second; but I do feel guilty at times."

 

"Don't.  You didn't force him; he came willingly.  And he loves you like no other; don't feel guilty."

 

"Thank you, Peter.  I'm very glad we found you, safe; I was scared.  I'll get out of here and call off the search party.  Be back shortly."

 

"Be safe, my friend.  We'll be here waiting for you.  And bring some food, will you?  I'm fucking starving."

 

"Yes, Sir."  He smirked.

 

I got up and patted him on the shoulder, then walked over to where the other's had stopped; about 10 meters from us.  I turned to Wolfy.

 

"You and Jan, please stay here with Peter.  I'm going to take Hage and Gregor with me; we're going to call off the dogs.  I also need to tell Erich we found him safe; and see if he has some food for him; he's starving."

 

"OK, Willy; be safe.  You're bringing Hage back with you, right?"

 

"Yes, Dear; I won't drive alone at night."  They all laughed quietly.

 

"Blow me.  I just want you to be safe, dammit.  I'll see you when you get back."

 

"OK.  Hage, Gregor; you're with me; let's roll."  I turned to head back down the embankment.  Apparently Wolfy forgot Gregor was there.

 

"I love you; see you in a bit."

 

I turned and looked at him, then at Gregor; who was wide-eyed.  I turned back to Wolfy.  "I love you, too.  Be safe."

 

He smiled at me and I returned it.  I turned and walked down the hill, the other two on my heels.  I knew I was in for it as soon as we got in the car, and I was in no hurry to get there.  I was taking my time, claiming a sore shoulder, and kind of strolling back to the car.  Gregor figured out what I was doing.

 

"So, you and the big one, huh?  It all makes sense, now."

 

"What does?"

 

"Him chewing your ass out, and living to tell about it."

 

"You don't have a problem with why he was able to do it?"

 

"I don't care.  It's not a big deal.  It does explain why you went for my balls first."  He chuckled.

 

"Don't flatter yourself.  I find it to be the most effective way of getting the truth."

 

"With just a little enjoyment on the side?"

 

"Very little in your case."

 

He smirked.  "Oh come now; you're still talking shit to me?  I thought we were friends now."

 

"Why, because you have something on me now?"

 

"I don't give a fuck if you suck cock; what's to have on you?  Big fucking deal.  So you like cock and balls; even my balls."  He laughed.  "I just thought we'd come past our differences of a few months ago."

 

"Maybe this is just who we are; we talk shit to each other."

 

He grinned.  "That could be; I know I enjoy talking shit to you."

 

"And I always fire right back; it's just who we are."

 

"So you do like me; in some far off way?"

 

I lauged.  "Yeah, I guess I do."

 

"Yeah, well, I like you, too; in some far off way."

 

"I guess that's all that matters, huh?"

 

"I guess.  You still can't squeeze my balls again; they're just now getting back to normal."  He laughed.

 

I looked at him, grinning.  "His are much bigger; more fun to play with anyway."

 

He laughed again.  "I saw that this afternoon.  I didn't think anybody had balls that big; I was starting to wonder if he'd become the Captain since a couple days ago."

 

"He's the only one that can do that."

 

"So you guys really love each other, huh?"

 

"Yeah, we do."

 

He shook his head.  "Leave it to a fucking Nazi to fall in love in the middle of a war; with a man, no less."

 

"Hey, Nazi has nothing to do with it; that's a political distinction."

 

"Yeah…  It's still weird."

 

"Falling in love with someone in the middle of a war?"

 

"Yeah; who does that?"

 

"Who's to say there will be time after the war; if any of us will even survive?"

 

He thought about it for a moment.  "You do have certain logic about you, don't you?"

 

"Always thinking…."

 

"I guess I can see your point.  You make your own happiness in this world; no matter where you find it or how big its balls are."

 

"Exactly.  So who's to say it's weird for two soldiers to fall in love?"

 

"It's just not how it's normally done.  I don't know exactly what the requirements are for getting in the SS, but I always heard that was the first thing they weeded out."

 

"They do try."

 

"Slipped in under their radar, huh?"  He smirks again.

 

I laughed.  "I did."

 

He shook his head, smiling.  "Fag."

 

"Dickhead."

 

We both laughed.  Hage was just looking at us; wondering what the fuck.

 

We got in the car, with Hage driving and me sitting next to him; Gregor was in the back.  He leaned forward as Hage was driving; looking at the side of his face.

 

"So, what about you; you OK with having a commander who likes dick?"

 

"Fuck you; show some respect."

 

"Sorry.  I'm just used to speaking my mind; even with this one."  He points to me.  "So, do you have a problem with him and the big one?"

 

"No."

 

Gregor nodded his head, grinning.  "You have a boyfriend, too?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Maybe later.  You didn't answer my question."

 

"No.  And it's none of your fucking business."

 

"So it's just this one and the big guy, huh?  Thought maybe I could get a little action on the side; and I'm afraid of the big one."

 

"You're a fucking prick."

 

"I am.  I also like having someone on it; anyone."

 

"You're actually making a pass at me; right here; right now?"

 

"I guess I am.  You're fucking cute as hell.  I think you'd be pretty good."

 

I'm sitting there shocked, but grinning.

 

"You have balls, man; making a pass at an SS soldier."

 

"What balls; he and the big one are SS, and they're queer?  I was just hoping it ran in the family."

 

"Even if I were; you wouldn't be real high on my list of choices.  You're an arrogant ass."

 

"That didn't stop the big one from falling for this guy.  So, be honest; I don't care if you are or not, but are you?"

 

Hage pauses.  His fatal mistake.  Gregor laughed.

 

"Fuck me…. I'm surrounded by cock hounds in uniform."

 

"Fuck you, asshole; I didn't say I was."

 

"You had to think about it!  What the fuck is that?  Someone asks me if I'm queer I don't think; I say no."

 

"You're making a pass at me, and you say you're not queer?"

 

"I'm not.  I just like playing; and I don't care if its girls or boys.  A mouth is a mouth, man."

 

"So you don't return?"

 

"I didn't say that.  I'm willing to do a friend a favor; if he does one for me."

 

"So you're just as queer as you accuse me of being."

 

"I'm just saying…  A friend does a favor; I return it; don't make me queer."

 

He'd used Hage's own line on him and he didn't know how to respond.  I jumped in.

 

"So, you and Bruno; you two do favors for each other?"

 

"I've known how that boy's tasted since I was 11 years old."

 

"Got an early start.  Most boys can't cum before 13 or so."

 

"Well, OK, not that part, but his cock.  And he knows what mine tastes like."

 

"So is that really what you guys were doing down by the trees that day; getting together for some fun?"

 

"Yep; at least before you came barging in."

 

Hage smirked.  Gregor looked back at him.

 

"You find that funny?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"I guess it kind of is.  You're even cuter when you smile."

 

Hage fucked up again; he blushed.  "Fuck you; I ain't cute."

 

Gregor laughed.  "Yeah you are!  Fuck!  You're sitting there blushing and smiling; fuck boy!"

 

Poor Hage; he flushed crimson.  "Shut up, before I knock you out."

 

"So, how big is your cock?"  Hage turned crimson all over again and I laughed.

 

"Damn, Gregor, leave the man alone; he told you he wasn't interested."

 

"I don't remember asking you; find your way back out of this."  He turned to Hage again.  "So, come on, cute boy; how big is it?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Sure, if it's big enough."

 

I snorted.  "You're willing to let this man fuck you, if it's big, and you're not queer?"

 

"I'm horny, dammit; leave me alone.  So, come on, how big is it, Hage?"

 

"Who said you could call me that?"

 

"I was just hoping we were past the whole SS title shit; I can't remember them anyway.  So come on, Hage, tell me…."

 

"19 cm"

 

"Fuck!  Nice!  I'm only 16½, but we can work with it."

 

"I never said I wanted to work with it."

 

"Oh, come on…  You know you want to try it; let me be your boy.  How old are you?"

 

"22"

 

"Eh, I'll still be your boy.  Come on, Hage; I promise you'll love it.  I'm damn good."

 

Poor Hage.  I was sure he'd never been hit on like this in his life; much less by a man.  I had said I wouldn't play mother hen anymore, so I stayed out of it.

 

"I'm not looking for no boy.  Leave me the fuck alone."

 

"Ah, don't be like that.  You're fucking sexy as hell.  I want to be with you; is that so wrong?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Oh, because I'm not SS; you're too good for me?"

 

"I didn't say that; it's because you're a fucking ass."

 

"I'll let you fuck you my ass.  But seriously, if I were a nicer guy; you'd do it?"

 

"I didn't say that either."

 

This was long before anyone had ever heard of gaydar, but I was convinced Gregor had some sixth sense about who might be willing to play.

 

"I am a nice guy, Hage; I just get cocky around this one over here.  I promise I am.  I will do whatever you want to do."

 

"Why are you pushing this so hard; I never said I was queer?"

 

Gregor chuckled.  "Oh, baby, you didn't have to say it; you would have stopped the car and shot me by now if you weren't at least flattered.  Can I touch your arm?"

 

"No!  Don't touch me at all!  I'm not flattered, I'm just shocked, I guess."

 

"Oh, come on, sexy; don't be shocked.  Just go with it; it will feel good, I promise.  I would take really good care of you; you're so fucking sexy."

 

"Stop saying that shit!  I'm not sexy and I don't want you hitting on me like some cheap whore on the waterfront; leave me alone, or I will stop this fucking car and shoot you."

 

"Don't be like that, Hage.  Come on; this is one man offering another man some really good times.  I'm not trying to make you feel dirty; I just want to be with you.  I'm sorry if I offended you."

 

"You never know when to let up, do you?"

 

"If I let up I'll never know if I could've gotten you to say yes.  Please…?  Don't hide behind the 'I'm not queer' shit; it's too late for that.  Just tell me, man to man, if there's anything I could say to make you say yes; if you'd like to do something with me."

 

"If you weren't such a prick all the time I'd at least think about it, but you never stop."

 

"OK.  We're making progress; you've admitted I have a chance.  I can work with that.  Let me ask you this; have I ever been a prick to you; or just this one?"

 

"He's my friend and my commanding officer; being a prick to him is the same as to me."

 

"Yeah, but he said it himself; it's just the way we are with each other.  We don't take it personally; why are you?"

 

"It's disrespectful."

 

"It is, but it's just the way we talk to each other; there's no harm meant.  Is there, Boss?"

 

"Nah, I just like yankin' your chain."

 

He laughed.  "See, Hage; it's just fuckin' around; there's no disrespect intended.  Now come on, sexy man; what do you say?"

 

"If I let you suck my cock will you let this drop?"  I don't know if Hage knew it, but Gregor had him now.

 

"You may never get me to stop sucking once I start; but yeah, if you don't like it, I'll stop and I'll quit bothering you about it."

 

Hage blushed again.  "This is fucking stupid!  I can't believe I'm having this conversation; much less with my commander sitting next to me!  This is fucking crazy, man!"

 

Gregor turned back to me, grinning.  "Do you care if I suck this beautiful man's cock?"

 

I smirked.  "I believe that's up to him; not me."

 

"Yeah, yeah, but he's all concerned about what you'll think of him.  Tell him it's OK and we move on with life."

 

"This doesn't concern me, Hage; it's your decision.  If you want this fucknut swinging off your dick, that's between you and him."  I turned to Gregor.  "I will only say this; if you hurt him, in any way; I will kill you with my bare hands."

 

"Fair enough."  He turns back to Hage.  "Papa bear said it was OK.  So how about it, beautiful; can we make this happen?"

 

Hage smirked and grinned.  "Fine.  You can swing off my dick.  Jesus!  I will never believe this!"

 

"Thanks, beautiful!  I promise, you will like it; you'll fucking love it.  And I wasn't joking about taking my ass either; it's yours if you want it.  I've never been this attracted to anyone in my life; you're just fucking sexy as all hell.  Thank you for giving me a chance."

 

Hage grinned and shook his head.  We were pulling up to the farm, and I was with him; I couldn't believe any of this.  Hage stopped the car and we get out.  Well, Hell, Gregor jumps out before we even stopped and opened Hage's door for him.  I laughed.  Hage blushed again as he got out of the car.  The poor boy's had it, or rather, he realized it or not.  I looked at Gregor.

 

"Hey, would you go in and tell Erich that we found Peter?  And have him fix a plate for him, please?  I need to have the Papa-Bear talk with my boy first.  You understand."

 

"Just don't be talking shit about me to him."

 

"I won't.  Go."

 

He turned and walked into the house.  I took Hage's arm and led him about 20 meters away, turning to him and facing him when I stopped.  I smiled at him.

 

"He's something else, huh?"

 

"Oh fuck….  What did I get myself into, Willy; and how did he do it?"

 

"He spotted a weakness and he jumped on it.  You have to give him credit for that, at least.  He read you well."

 

"Way too well.   I knew I was fucked as soon as I hesitated."

 

"Don't be hard on yourself; he's very good at that.  You don't have to do this, Hage, if you don't really want to.  You're a grown man and have the right to say no.  Don't let him sweet-talk you into something you don't want."

 

"That's just it Willy; I'm not sure that I don't want it.  He is cute.  He's a major ass, but he has some redeeming qualities."

 

"OK. Then this is all I will say about it.  He can be a real prick, but I don't think he would with you.  My warning is, be careful.  I've never seen anyone that aggressive in getting someone; that boy could fall in love with you easily.  Just watch your heart, please?"

 

"You really think he was telling the truth; or just trying to get me in bed?"

 

"A little of both; but I think he has a huge crush on you.  And it doesn't take more than sex to turn a crush into love."

 

"I hear you.  Fuck….  What did I get myself into?"

 

"That's only for you to figure out, Hage; I can only give you my opinion and advice."

 

"And your advice is to watch my heart.  I will.  I have no feelings for him; but if I do develop any I will be careful."

 

"That's all I'm saying.  I don't want you getting hurt; and I will take him out if he does.  Even for just a broken heart.  I also think that if you take this anywhere with Gregor, you owe Peter the truth."

 

He looks shocked.  His mouth drops open.  I smirk.

 

"Peter told me.  Don't worry about it.  He's not in this for an emotional contact; he said it was the same as you and Wolfy had.  But you still owe him the truth if you're fucking around with Gregor."

 

"Yes.  I know I do.  I'll tell him."  He looked at me, shaking his head.  "Is there something wrong with all of us, Willy?  Why are we this way?  Why do we like men?  I'm starting to think that should be the new propaganda for the SS; join the SS; find a man."  We both laugh.

 

"Oh man… that's funny.  But no, Alex, there's nothing wrong with us.  It's just who we are; it's the way God made us and we have no choice in the matter.  I tried, I really did try to change this; but I couldn't.  I got to the point where I finally accepted it and moved on.  We are who we are, and we love who we love.  We have to keep it a secret, but we don't have to be alone.  Just accept who you are and embrace your differences and move forward."

 

"I try.  It's scary as hell, especially in our service, but I do try.  I've been with a few guys; all of them in the service, incredibly, but I've never been 'attacked', I guess is the word for it, like that.  He was un-stoppable.  And yes, I was flattered.  I've never had anyone tell me I was sexy and beautiful before; and I guess he won me over with it.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with him."

 

I smirked.  "I think he has several ideas about that.  But seriously, Alex, you do only what you're ready for and what you're comfortable with.  With the other guys you were with, did you ever find yourself falling for them?"

 

"No, not really; we were just having fun."

 

"Well, then, why look at this differently?  Maybe that's all it will be."

 

"True, but none of them ever called me cute, sexy and beautiful either."  He grinned.

 

"I see your point.  You are all of the above, Hage, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.  I guess you should do what your head and your heart tells you are right."

 

"I guess."

 

"One last thing.  If you guys get together, I would prefer that you not let him wander around the house by himself.  I don't want him fucking with anything; he doesn't need to know what we know."

 

"I won't.  And if he tries to get any information out of me I will tell you immediately.  Do you think he would; do you think that's all he's after?"

 

"No.  I just don't like taking chances.  I think he was really wearing his heart on his sleeve; and being truthful for once in his life."

 

"You don't really like him, huh?"

 

"I do.  I like him well enough.  I really don't know him that well; I base my judgment on the meetings we've had.  And you have to admit; it started badly."

 

He grinned.  "Yeah, I guess it did.  OK.  I guess we should go rescue Erich."

 

"Yes, and he's in there by himself, for the most part."

 

We turned and walked towards the house.  Hage looked over at me as we were walking.  "Thanks, Willy; for talking to me; I appreciate it."

 

"You're welcome.  For all you know, I love you as much as you think I do."

 

He laughed.  "As much as Wolfy?"

 

I grinned.  "Wolfy's a special case.  But, honestly, damn close."

 

"Thanks, that means a lot to me.  I love you, too."

 

"I know.  I'm the luckiest man in the world, Alex; I have Wolfy, you, Erich, Peter and Jan; what more could any one man want?"

 

He smiled and we walked in the house.  Erich came running out of the kitchen.

 

"Is Peter really all right?"

 

"He's fine, my friend.  Please fix him some food; he says he's hungry and would really like to eat some of your great food."

 

He smiled.  "Right away!"  He turned and ran back to the kitchen, but froze just past the dining room.  He turned around and ran back and threw himself into my arms.  "I forgot to hug you.  I've been so worried about you and Peter, I promised myself I'd hug you when you came in."

 

"Oh, man… You're going to make me cry if you keep doing stuff like this."

 

"You said it was OK to cry sometimes."  He pulled back from me and looked into my eyes.

 

"It is.  I was just making a point; that you really know how to make me feel special."

 

"You are.  You're my friend and I love you."

 

"I love you, too, Erich.  We're going to be friends for life, you and me."

 

He smiled.  "Good.  I'll go get Peter's dinner."  He took off for the kitchen again.  Hage looked at me, smiling.

 

"Some SS bad guy you are; you big softy."

 

"Nobody ever said we couldn't be human, too, Alex."

 

He grinned.  "That's true; they didn't.  I think he loves you even more than Wolfy; if that's possible."

 

"Just between you and me, I think he does, too." I smiled.  "I told you; I'm a very lucky man."

 

"Yes you are.  And in spite of yourself, you're a good man, too."

 

I laughed.  "Thanks.  I'm glad somebody notices."

 

"We all do.  You may not have the romantic love from us that Wolfy gives you; but you do have our love; and our respect and honor and everything that comes with it.  You might believe that Wolfy's the only one who would give his life for you; but you'd be wrong.  You have 5 men who will live and die at your command; how much stronger than that can we say we love you?"

 

"Now you're going to make me cry.  Alex…  I'm overwhelmed, I really am.  You all have become my brothers; my family and I love you all very much.  I would gladly give my life to protect yours as well.  Don't ever think that I would sacrifice the rest of you for Wolfy.  He's my one true love; but you are my brothers."

 

He pulled me into a fierce hug and just held me.  We'd been hugging for about 20 seconds when Gregor came in from the kitchen.

 

"Oh, man…  I lost him before I ever really got him.  I thought you had the big one; what are you doing with mine?"

 

Hage and I start laughing.  I broke the hug and looked at Gregor.

 

"The big one has a name, dickhead; and it's Wolfy.  And yes, he is mine.  I'm just sending yours off with warm wishes.  Feeling threatened already?"

 

"I never know around here.  I'm the odd one out in case you hadn't noticed.  It's going to take me a while to really believe he finally said yes."

 

"Well he did, and he hasn't changed his mind; so don't fuck it up."

 

"Believe me, I won't." 

 

He looked at Hage and smiled.  He was cute when he wasn't being a dickhead.  It was hard to believe he came from that ass of a father.  Well, at least physically.  He walked to us; aiming more toward Hage, and stops about 30 cm away from him; still smiling, though a little shyly this time.

 

"Please tell me you really said yes."

 

Hage blushed and smiled at him.  "I really said yes."

 

Gregor let out the breath he'd been holding.  "I just needed to make sure; I thought maybe I'd dreamt it.  I know I was coming on strong, but please believe me when I tell you.  I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life; and that includes my best friend of 17 years.  I don't know what you did to me; but I like it.  You are so beautiful…."

 

Hage blushed furiously.  "You are a sweet-talker, aren't you?"

 

"I'm not just talking; I mean it.  I want you, Hage.  Is that your real name?"

 

"It's Alex; Hage is just short for Hagen, my last name.  My first name is Alexander.  Alexander Michael Hagen."

 

Gregor smiled from ear to ear.  "It's as beautiful as you are.  OK, Alexander Michael Hagen, I'm Gregor Alexi Haidenger; at your service."

 

They both blushed.  This was getting to be too much.  I left them alone and went to find Erich in the kitchen.  On my way out, I heard they'd made the connection.

 

"Fuck.  We both have Alex in our names…"

 

I rounded the corner and found Erich putting the finishing touches on Peter's dinner.

 

"Just about ready, young friend?"

 

He turned around and smiled.  "Yes; just a couple of cakes to go with it.  And I'm sending 3 beers for him."

 

I smirked.  "You'll get him drunk, Erich.  He's a light weight when he drinks; that's why he drinks wine."

 

Erich laughed.  "Then I will send wine for him.  Where does he keep it?"

 

"I will get it for him.  Just finish the plate, please."

 

I walked back into the front room and saw Alex and Alexi, standing about 20 cm apart, staring in each other's eyes and holding each other's fingers.  I rolled my eyes and kept walking.  When I returned, they were in the exact same position.  I wondered if that was how Wolfy and I looked; it probably was to Jan.  I rolled my eyes again and kept walking.  I gave Erich the bottle of wine for Peter.  He already had the food, all 30 or 40 kilos of it, in a basket.  I had no idea where the basket came from, but he found one.  He'd prepared the ultimate picnic lunch for my Lieutenant; down to the napkin and corkscrew.  I shook my head.  It had been the weirdest day of my life so far.  I'd been yelled at; kissed, hugged, teased, told I was loved by several men, watched two men fall in love before my eyes, and had somehow adopted a son.  That made me think.

 

"Erich, shouldn't you be home; aren't your parents going to worry about you?"

 

"They know where I am.  Why, do you want me to leave?"

 

"Well, no, I was just thinking your parents must be worried sick by now; it made me feel bad."

 

"They are fine; they know where I'm at.  I would never go somewhere and not tell them."

 

"They know you had planned to stay so late?"

 

"They do.  Don't worry."

 

"OK.  Is that 60 kilo basket for Peter?"

 

He laughed.  "It's only 30, and yes.  Make sure he eats everything; he hasn't eaten all day."

 

"Yes Sir."

 

"And don't let him drink all the wine if he's a light-weight; he'll just get sick."

 

"Yes Sir."

 

"Take him some extra cakes, too; and some for Wolfy and Jan."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"What else am I forgetting?"

 

"Sir, if I may?  Maybe they would like some beer; they're not light-weights."

 

"Yes!  Ok, some beer for Wolfy and Jan."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"Is Hage going back with you or is he staying with his new boyfriend?"

 

That one stopped me.  "Sir, I will find out before I leave."

 

"If he's going with you, take beer for him as well."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"You can't have beer."

 

"No, Sir?"

 

He laughed.  He'd finally caught on to me.  He turned bright red and laughed.  I was fighting like to hell to maintain a straight face.  I just looked at him like he'd lost his mind.  He laughed harder and I finally broke.  We both laughed for a few minutes and I walked over to him, turning him around facing away from me and hug him from behind.

 

"You are something else, my friend.  I love you."

 

"I love you.  How long did you keep saying 'Yes, Sir'?"

 

"It doesn't matter; it was great; you're great!"

 

He giggled.  "Are you done teasing me now?"

 

"I don't know; nobody else will let me tease them today.  You're all I have left."

 

"OK.  You can tease some more."  I laughed and hugged him tighter.  I'd fallen in love with this boy; not romantically, but I had fallen.

 

"I won't.  You've had enough.  I will follow your orders to the letter and deliver your feast to Peter.  Would you like me to tell him anything?"

 

"Tell him I love him and miss him; and that I'm glad he's all right.  I was worried."

 

"I will tell him.  He loves you, too, you know.  We all do."

 

He relaxed back into my chest.  I hold him tighter, my chin on his head.  I hold him for another minute before I release him and spin him around to face me.

 

"You are my friend, Erich; forever and ever."

 

"You are mine.  Forever and ever."

 

"How much longer are you staying tonight?"

 

"I can stay as long as I'm needed.  My parents like that I spend time here; my father especially; he says it's good that I'm around military men.  He says it will teach me responsibility and to aim for more in my life; just like you told me that first day."

 

I wasn't so sure about that anymore.  "I'm always grateful and happy to have you here, Erich.  So, I will see you when I get back?"

 

"Yes, if you wish."

 

"I wish.  Would you like me to leave the two love-birds here with you or take them with me?"

 

He laughed.  "How did that happen; they were here earlier and didn't even speak to one another?"

 

"I wish I knew, Erich.  It happened before my very eyes and I still don't know."

 

He gave me a quizzical look.  "How can you watch something and not know what you are watching?"

 

"It was just something I'd never seen before; it was amazing.  One minute they are calling each other names, the next they are falling in love.  And you said girls were sometimes irrational."

 

He smirked.  "They are.  I understand though.  I've seen many boys become friends who were once calling each names and hitting each other."

 

"I guess I have too; when I was in school.  See, my friend, we are no more rational than the girls."

 

He giggled.  "You're right.  You can do what you want with the love-birds.  If you need them with you, then take them; I will be fine by myself."

 

"Eh, they're fine here.  They probably want to kiss or something anyway; I'll let them stay.  Try not to let them embarrass you."

 

"You and Wolfy kissing doesn't embarrass me; why would they?"

 

"Good point.  I will see you when I get back.  Be safe."

 

"You, too; be safe.  Tell Wolfy and Jan hi from me."

 

"I will.  I love you."

 

He smiled.  "I love you."

 

I grabbed the basket and headed back to the living room.  They'd finally moved; 5 cm closer.  I smired.  Gregor turned and looked at me.

 

"You are the last one allowed to smirk at this."

 

"Shush.  It just looks so cute.  Anyway, I'm heading up to take Peter some food.  Would you rather stay here and continue your staring contest, or do you want to come with me?"

 

Hage looked at me.  "That is your decision; not ours."

 

"No, it's yours.  I was informed today that you're all grown men and that I treat you like little boys, and play mother hen.  I'm working on changing that.  And no comments from you, lover boy; I've heard too many already today."

 

"Then if it's OK, I would like to stay here.  I want to get to know Gregor better."

 

I rolled my eyes.  "I'm sorry, Hage; you deserve more respect than that implied.  It was just I know what that means.  It would be the same line I'd use to get to play with Wolfy."

 

Gregor laughed.  "Good. So get moving; get on your way; we're busy here.  We'll keep an eye on Erich."

 

"That would actually relax me a little.  Thank you.  Have fun.  Yeah, yeah, I know, it's like telling a priest to have more wine."

 

They both laughed and I walked out the door and got in the car after setting Erich's care-basket down on the passenger seat, and the liquor on the floor.  When I arrived back at the creek I saw someone standing on the edge of the water, leaving a piss.  I know that form; it's my man.  I smiled.  I got out of the car and walked over to him.

 

Whispering, "Hey, sexy, I like your stance."

 

He smirked and grinned at me, shaking off.  "Thanks.  I like yours, too.  Aren't you missing a couple of people?"

 

"It's a long, long story.  I'll tell you later.  Could you help me, please; I have a feast for Peter, sent by Erich."

 

He grinned big.  "I bet.  Did he send the rest of our food?"

 

"Only about 40 kilos of it.  He even sent cakes and beer for you and Jan; I don't get any."

 

He laughed.  "You're just on everybody's 'special' list today.  What'd you do to piss him off?"

 

I chuckled.  "I didn't piss him off.  He's worried about my waist line now; and my alcohol consumption for some reason.  I've been cut off."

 

He laughed again.  "That's just too funny.  I told you, liebe, that boy loves you as much as I do.  Speaking of…  I'm so, so sorry I blurted that out.  I didn't even realize it until Peter pointed it out that dickhead didn't know about us.  I'm sorry.  I hope he didn't give you too much shit about it.  Or is that why he's not here; you killed him?"

 

I smirked.  "No, he's alive and well.  He gave me some shit about it, but not much.  He said he didn't care if I liked dick; but that it explained why I went for his balls first."

 

He groaned.  "I'm really sorry, liebe; I just didn't think about it."

 

"Don't worry; he has something else to occupy his attention now.  Give me a hand with this food, please."

 

He walkd across the creek, getting his boots and pants soaking wet again and came up to me and kissed me.  I returned the kiss and opened the passenger door, pointing inside.  He laughed again.

 

"Where did he find the basket?"

 

"I have no idea.  I was wondering the same thing but forgot to ask him."

 

"He's a resourceful little fucker.  I'll get the food; you bring the alcohol.  And no sneaking any on the way; I'll tell him."  He smirked.

 

"You would rat me out to him?"

 

"For a price I'll keep quiet."  He grinned at me.

 

"Eh, tell him."  I walked off carrying the booze, grinning.

 

He caught me on the other side of the creek, coming up beside me.  I could see his teeth in the moonlight from his smile.

 

"You playing hard to get?"

 

"It's going to take a lot more than cute smiles and innuendo to get in my pants, baby."

 

"OK, so what would it take?"

 

"You have to woo me."

 

He smirked and tried to keep from laughing.  "Say what?"

 

"You have to entice me.  You know, like you would with Gertrud; flattery and flirting."

 

"Ohhhhh.  OK.  I can do that; you've seen me in action.  So, if I 'woo' you" (he smirked again) "and you like it, I get to get in your pants, right?"

 

"Not anymore; you just blew it.  Try again later."

 

"Wait!  How did I blow it?"  He was whispering louder then.

 

"You smirked and you said the only reason you were doing it was to get into my pants.  You wouldn't do that with Gertrud."

 

"My God…. You're serious about this, huh?"

 

"I am, actually.  I've had a rough day; I want to feel special for some reason; worth the effort."

 

I had been thinking about Gregor and Hage on the drive here.  What I witnessed was probably as corny as anything I've ever seen; but it was sweet; very, very sweet.  I wanted that.

 

"So you want to be charmed and sweet-talked?"

 

"Yes."

 

He thought there was more and waited.  There wasn't any more.  "That's it?"

 

"That's a lot; apparently."

 

"No!  It's not, I'm just surprised, I guess.  It's not like you to want to be sweet-talked and charmed."

 

"Like I said, I've had a rough day.  I feel like I need it."

 

"OK."

 

"OK."

 

"When?"

 

"Wolfy!?  You don't ask that; you just know when the moment is right.  Jeez.  Haven't you ever gotten past the bakery counter when you've sweet-talked a girl?"

 

"That's not fair!  Now you're saying I'm fat?"

 

"No….  Jeez, this has gone down-hill really fast.  I didn't mean that; I just meant that surely you've talked a girl into going home with you."

 

"Of course."

 

"Well…."

 

"You're not a girl.  You're my man; you're my lover; but you ain't no girl."

 

"So you can't do it for me?"

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing.  I want to be charmed and sweet-talked; told I'm the one you want, the one you want to be with.  I want to be beguiled.  I want you to tell me that you want me, but not just saying you want in my pants.  Does that make any sense?"

 

"No.  But I understand it.  I rarely tell you you're sexy; not like you do me.  I don't tell you how much I love your body; how much I want to be next to you.  I get it."

 

I smiled.  "You do.  Thank you."

 

"Is there anything in particular that brought this on?"

 

"Yes, but that's not the entire reason.  It just made me think of it; and want it."

 

"You got it."

 

We'd reached Peter and Jan, and Wofly set the basket next to Peter.  Peter looked at it and broke into a huge smile.  He looked at me.

 

"Your boy sent me all of this?"

 

"He did.  He's worried sick about you; said to make you eat everything because you haven't eaten all day.  There is also a bottle of your wine in there; just for you from him.  He also said to tell you he loves you and he's worried about you."

 

He smiled.  "Wow…. I'm touched.  I don't know what to say, actually."

 

I grinned at him.  "Don't say anything; you're under orders to eat, drink and be safe."

 

"He's giving the orders now?  You'll let just anyone command this place, won't you?"

 

"Hey, I know when I've been out-ranked.  I was even telling him, Yes Sir, No Sir."

 

Everyone laughed in a stage whisper.  "You're just an easy mark for a cute face.  When you see him, tell him I love him, too, and that I'm grateful and overwhelmed he did this for me."

 

"Tell him yourself.  He's won't leave until you get home safe."

 

He shook his head and smiled.  He opened the basket and looked in.  His popped back up immediately.  "My God… There must be enough food in here for all of us for a week!"

 

"And with the exception of a few sweet cakes for these two; it's all yours."

 

"You don't get any?"

 

"No, I've been cut off; I'm getting fat, apparently."

 

Peter slammed his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.  I could see the huge smile under his big hand.  He regained control and pulled his hand away.

 

"Oh, shit….  Don't do that to me out here; we're going to get shot.  Fuck… that is really funny.  So tell me, how does it feel to be 3 men's bitch?"

 

The other two were practically beside themselves trying to keep from laughing out loud.  I was fighting like hell myself, but just looked at him with a huge grin on my face.  I knew if we were home, we'd all be on the floor rolling around.  Peter, God bless him, kept a completely straight face.  He was trying to break me.

 

"Shut up, Private; and eat your food."

 

He smirked.  "Easy come, easy go, I guess.  Goodbye Sergeant's stripes."

 

I couldnt hold it any longer; I started laughing.   I slammed my hand over my mouth to keep it in, but it wasn't really working.  The other two had given up; they were on the ground.  We did recover faster than normal; we were in a deadly situation after all.  To a man, all of us peaked over and looked down to see if he'd heard us.  That made us all smirk.  No movement, thank God.  I looked at Wolfy and Jan; both of their faces were soaked from tears.  I grinned, trying not to laugh.

 

"Oh…. Fuck me…. You have to stop doing that!  Nobody has ever been able to do that to me like you can."  I smirked and laughed again.

 

He smirked.  "That's between you and Wolfy."

 

The other two were back on the ground.  Peter and I had our hands clamped over our mouths and fighting like hell to hold it in.  I recovered first, amazingly enough.

 

"OK.  We have to stop, guys; we're going to end up dead; seriously."

 

Peter looked at me, still grinning, but pulling himself together.  He finally pulled his hand away.  "You're right.  This is entirely unprofessional; we have to act like professionals.

 

"Well, at least try to.  OK.  Men, I need you to flank him.  Don't go near him, but just spread out about 100 meters on either side of this position."

 

Jan recovered first.  "Yes, Sir.  We're on it."

 

"Yes, Boss."  Wolfy started walking to our left; Jan to the right.

 

"Peter, do you see any movement from below?"

 

He looks over the edge.  "No.  It's actually kind of strange; he hasn't moved in 3 hours.  Maybe he's just sleeping.  Or fuck, he could be dead."

 

"He could.  Maybe he took a cyanide capsule when you weren't watching or something?"

 

"I guess it's possible.  Should we approach?"

 

"No, not yet; we'll wait him out.  It's not like we don't have plenty of food and drink."

 

He smirked.  "Don't go there."

 

"I'm sorry.  Really though; how the hell do you get me like that?"

 

"I don't know.  We just set each other up, I guess.  You've broken me more than anyone ever has, too."

 

"That's good to know.  Fuck….  We have to stop this; at least in situations like this."

 

"Yeah, we do.  So where are Hage and Gregor?"

 

"Keeping an eye on Erich for me."

 

"OK."

 

Well, it wasn't a lie, they said they would.  I wanted Hage to be the one to tell Peter; it wasn't my business.  He started eating his dinner after taking the cork out of the wine bottle.  Erich forgot a glass.  He just swigged out of the bottle.  I almost started laughing again, but controlled it and looked out to where Wolfy had gone.  I'd forgotten to tell them to come back; I hoped they would figure it out.  I'd told Erich I would be back, but I felt like I should be here; this is where the danger to my men was.  He would understand. 

 

What was happening to me?  I had turned into a mother hen; I'd also become their bitch to a certain extent.  I let them tell me what to do; I let them have more control than they should; all of them.  I knew they would still snap to any order I issued, but I had let them all cross the line; not just Wolfy; and especially today.

 

On the flip side of that, they had become my family; they were my brothers.  I knew the manual that Erich was now reading strictly forbade any of what had happened amongst us; but the people who wrote that book weren't here; we were.  We were still doing our duty; that should be all that mattered to the people in Berlin.  We laughed and argued and loved amongst the 5 of us; well 6 with Erich; we had become a family, but we were still dedicated soldiers; we always did our duty.  All of these thoughts only made it more difficult to face the ultimate break-up of our little family.  We all knew it would come; we just didn't know when.  We would get split up when it was over, and transferred to our separate duty stations.  Erich would stay here; going to school and being Sasha's best friend.  Hage would lose Gregor.  I would lose Wolfy.  We would all lose our family.  The 5 men I shared my life with now had become far closer to me than my biological family ever had.  My brother Karl and I had never been this close.  What would I do without these men in my life?

To be continued...

Posted: 12/14/12