SS Outpost

By: Jeff B
(© 2012 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

KAPITEL VIER

(CHAPTER FOUR)

 

Monday, 6 July 1942.  It had been three weeks since Jakob was sent to Berlin.  He was taken on the following Monday, on a relocation train packed with Jews, after spending the weekend as our 'guest'.  I did let him down from the hook but kept the harness on him tied to the hook with rope.  He did give Peter, and later Jan a total of 4 names and locations.  I was informed three days ago that he had been shot by firing squad for treason.  It all seemed like such a waste to me.  A moderately intelligent 25 year old man, who could have, and should have been in the Army, being shot for betraying his own country; and all for cash.  The war had brought out the worst in everyone.

 

We found his stash about ten days ago; confiscating the explosives and the cash.  We used his money to buy our food.  He hated Nazis and suddenly he was feeding them with his dirty money.  We'd had the other locations staked out for the past two weeks but yet, there were no signs of anyone.  With only five of us, and four locations to watch it has been a time of little sleep and a lot of sitting around.  I'd even employed Sasha and Erich's help in keeping an eye on one of the locations after school.  I told them I would pay them 20 marks a night to do it.  Well, Jakob was paying them.  They jumped at the chance and the money.  Money not only would buy a man, it also would buy the loyalty of two teenage boys.  They started their summer break three days before and were spending all day camped out at one of the locations, pretending to be camping and fishing.

 

None of us had really seen much of each other in the past two weeks, and that included Wolfy and me.  We saw each other for about 15 minutes, while passing each other on duty exchanges, coming or going to the bathroom or to bed.  We gave each other a passionate kiss and told the other we loved him and moved on.  We didn't even care if anyone was watching anymore.  We did manage to make our date behind the barn, later in the evening the day we arrested Jakob.  We gave each other a wet, sloppy blowjob and made out a lot.  We still hadn't had the time or opportunity to actually make love with each other.  I was about at the point where I was going to throw Sasha and Erich out of their tent and use it for my own perverted needs with my man.

 

It was now 1835 in the evening and I was coming down the stairs after 5-1/2 hours of sleep.  I was becoming exhausted, as were the rest of my men, from a lack of sleep.  I actually got thirty minutes more today than I usually got; I skipped eating.  As I was on the third to the last step, someone knocked on the front door.  I walked over and answered it.  Gregor was standing there, looking nervous as hell.

 

"There's a face I never thought I'd see again."

 

"Hello to you, too, dickhead; are you going to let me in?"

 

"I've had 10 hours of sleep in the last 3 days; don't push it."

 

"Sorry.  I have something for you; from Bruno."

 

"Come in."  I stood aside and let him in.

 

He looked around the front room, sniffing.  "Smells like dirty socks and wet dog in this place."

 

"Our maid quit; what do you have?"

 

He pulled out a roll of film from his front pants pocket.  "Just this."  He handed it to me.  "Bruno said to tell you he got 4 face shots and 3 full body shots, plus everything surrounding where he took the photos.  He said there are about 12 exposures on the roll."

 

"Tell Bruno that if he were here I'd kiss him.  Thank you, Gregor, for doing this."

 

"I'm just the messenger."

 

"Still…. You restored my faith in man.  It's been a fucked up month."

 

"War is hell."  He looked around the room.  "You SS live like pigs, you know that?"

 

"Nobody's had time to care; we've been incredibly busy.  If you don't like it, feel free to start cleaning."

 

"You paying?"

 

I laughed.  Money does make the world go around.  "You offering to become our houseboy?"

 

"As long as nobody thinks they can fuck me; sure.  What's it worth to you?"

 

"I can't have you here by yourself, Gregor; there's too much crap here that you're not supposed to have access to."

 

"I'm not going to play with your fucking radio.  Who the hell would I talk to?  Besides, I don't know Morse code."

 

"I still can't do it, Gregor.  It'd be great to have someone clean up after us, but I just can't allow you to be in here by yourself."

 

"Oh, well, I offered.  Good luck with the photos and finding the bad guys."

 

"Thanks.  If you need money I have another idea; and it doesn't involve cleaning or smelling dirty socks.  You interested?"

 

He smiled.  "That's like asking a priest if he'd like some more wine.  What've you got?"

 

I smirked.  "I need another set of eyes.  I'll give you 10 marks a day to sit on your ass and stare into the wilderness."

 

He smiled even brighter.  "You're talking my kind of job; I'll take it!"

 

I held my hand to him and he shook it, grinning like an idiot.  "Can you manage to stay away for 12 hours at a time?"

 

"I do it most days; it's not like I sleep 18 hours a day."

 

I laughed.  "Forgive me; I'm tired.  I need you to pull 12 hours shifts, watching for anyone showing up at a certain location.  You are not to approach anyone if you see them, but just make note of their description and come and tell me."

 

"Sounds like falling off a log; that's what's made you so tired and grumpy?"

 

"Gregor, I'm working at not being such an ass; show me the same courtesy."

 

"Sorry.  Yeah, I'll do it.  I need the money; my shit-for-brains father kicked me out of his shop."

 

"Sorry to hear that.  OK, you have a job.  You're on your own for a place to sleep."

 

"Can I use your barn?"

 

"Not there either, Gregor.  Where are you staying now?"

 

"In a friend's barn."

 

"I guess you'll have to keep staying there.  If you need some food I'll get you some, but I can't have you living anywhere around here."

 

"OK.  I will take the food though, if that's OK."

 

"Go around that wall and you'll find a kitchen.  Grab a sack and load up."

 

"Thanks.  What the hell am I supposed to call you; it doesn't seem right calling my boss dickhead?  And don't tell me one of those long-assed SS titles either; I'll never remember it."

 

I laughed.  "The name's Willy.  Actually, three of my men do call me 'Boss'."

 

"'Boss' it is."

 

"Good enough.  Go grab some food while I take a piss."

 

"I find it better to leave them.  Thanks Boss, for the food."

 

I laughed.  "You're welcome."

 

I headed for the bathroom next to Wolfy's room, and he made for the kitchen.  When I'd done leaving my piss, I walked into the kitchen.  He was putting sweets into the sack.

 

"Please tell me you've taken more than sweets to eat?"

 

"I did.  I'm just thinking about dessert now.  You guys have like a fucking bakery in this place.  Somebody here bake?"

 

"No; we get them from Gertrud in town."

 

"Ahhhhh.  Gerty.  I love her sweets; all of them…."  He wags his eyebrows.

 

"Yeah, well so do the other 4 SS soldiers that live here; who do you think she'd serve first?"  I smirked and grinned at him.

 

"Yeah, yeah; it's the damn uniform; not the man."

 

"You never know.  At any rate, try not to clear out all of our sweets; I don't know how I'd explain that to them.  I don't eat them."

 

"God, why not; they're fucking great?"

 

"I've never been one for sweets, that's all; just don't take them all."

 

"Yes, Boss.  Any chance you could give me the first 10 up front; I have nothing right now?"

 

I reach into my front pocket and pull out some bills; peeling off a 10 note and hand it to him.

 

"Thanks again, Boss.  How about that cheese block sitting over there?"

 

"The whole thing?"

 

He grinned.  "I'll leave it up to you."

 

"You eat that much cheese and you won't shit for a month.  Take a third of it."

 

He smiled.  "Thanks."

 

Once he'd finally loaded up the bag we walked back to the front door together.  It finally hit me that I need to show him where I want him.  I'm tired; what can I say?

 

"I guess I should show you where I want you to work, huh?"

 

"I could just pick a field somewhere."

 

"That wouldn't do me any good.  Grab your bag and follow me."

 

I turned and walked back to the kitchen.  I made myself a couple of quick sandwiches, grabbed a couple of sweet cakes, and walked out the back door with him on my heels.  We got in the car and I drove him out to where I needed him.  I stopped the car and turned the engine off.

 

"Here you go."

 

"Nice place.  Shouldn't I be somewhere out of sight?"

 

"Walk about 100 meters over that ridge and you'll see a tree stand.  You can camp there.  I don't want to get too close in the car in case he's watching us.  I just look like I'm dropping off a hobo this way."

 

"Hobo's ride trains."

 

"Whatever.  Get out!"  I grinned at him.

 

"Damn; you're even more grumpy than usual.  Go back and get some more sleep."

 

"I'd love to, but I can't.  Enjoy your evening and your food; now get out."

 

"Yes, Boss."  He grinned and opened the door and got out.

 

I started the car up and turned around, heading in the direction I came.  After I'd driven about 2 km I made a right and headed across a pasture.  After bumping my way along for 10 minutes I came to a creek with a bunch of trees lining it.  I stopped and turned off the car and got out.  I walked about 10 meters to the tent that was sitting next to the creek.  I had expected Sasha and Erich to come running out when the car pulled up, but I saw no sign of them.  I turned and started walking along side the creek, and after walking about 20 meters I found them.  They were actually fishing; they were not just pretending.  I smiled at them.

 

"Are they biting?"

 

"Captain!  Not yet; but we're trying."

 

"I see that."

 

"Are you here just to check up on us?"

 

"Partly; I was thinking about you.  I also wanted to leave something for you."  I pull my Walther out of my holster, holding it up to them.  I'd had a nightmare yesterday that they'd been found by the guys they're trying to watch and been beaten to death.  I wanted them to have some protection.

 

"What's with the pistol?"

 

"I'm leaving it with you.  Do either of you know how to shoot?"

 

Erich timidly raises his hand.  "My father taught me; said every man should know how to shoot."

 

"Your father's a wise man, Erich.  Have you fired an automatic before?"

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"Then here you go.  I want you to keep this with you at all times; and please don't lose it, it's my service weapon."

 

"I thought SS were never supposed to relinquish their weapon?"

 

"We're not, but this is a special case.  I want you two to have some protection."

 

I walked up to Erich and held the pistol by the grip, pointing it down, and stood right next to him.  "This is the safety.  If it's here; it's on; just push it down to fire.  Got it?"

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"It has a full clip in it; so you should be good for most anything.  Don't just go around shooting at rabbits and shit; it's for protection only.  I will count the rounds when you give it back; and if there's not a body to go with the missing rounds I'll be upset."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"If you have to, do not hesitate to shoot.  If someone walks up on you and you don't know them, shoot their leg.  If they don't leave; shoot to kill.  If anyone sticks their head in your tent at night; shoot them."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

I smiled at him.  "Good man.  I'll leave you boys to your fishing; good luck."

 

"Aye Aye, Captain!"

 

I laughed and waved to them, then turned and headed back to the car.  I wasn't sure about the intelligence of leaving one 13 year old and one 14 year old boy with my sidearm, but the dream had scared the crap out of me and I didn't know what else to do.  I needed them here.  I got back in the car and backed out of the spot I'd been in and headed the car back the way I'd come.  After driving for another 20 minutes, most of it in fields, I pulled up to a stand of trees and long grass that overlooked a valley.  I shut the car off and got out.  As soon as I closed the door a sexy, light-brown haired man popped up from the other side of the trees.  I smiled at him.

 

"Hi, bärchen….  I needed to see you."

 

He smiled back.  "Hi; I'm glad you did; I always love seeing you."

 

I walked over to where he was and we walked about 5 meters and stopped; well hidden now.  I pulled him into my arms and my mouth landed on his.  We just held each other tightly and kissed for about a minute; neither of us wanting to let go.  I finally managed to pull away from him.  I looked at him and smiled.

 

"God, that felt so good; I really needed you.  I needed to be held by you."

 

"It always feels good holding you.  Are you OK, liebe?"

 

"Much better now….  I was just really missing you; I needed to see you and hold you."

 

"Makes me glad I'm in love with the guy who has the car."  He smiled at me.

 

"Me, too.  How are you doing, bärchen; is everything OK?  Have you had any sleep?"

 

"The same as you've had.  I'm fine.  Much better now…."  He smiled at me again.

 

"I brought you a sandwich and a cake, but they're in the car."

 

"Leave them; I'd rather have you.  Thank you, though."

 

"Anything for you.  I've really missed you, bärchen; I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

 

"I know, liebe, me too.  We'll have time together again; we're bound to have a break in this.  I love you."

 

I smiled.  "I love you with everything, bärchen; I can't stop missing you."

 

"I know, liebe; I'm missing you terribly, too."  He looked down for a second then back up.  He'd spotted my holster.  "Where's your Walther, liebe?"

 

"I left it with Sasha and Erich."

 

He looks shocked.  "Why?"

 

"I had a terrible dream about them; that they'd been found by the men we're after, and beaten to death.  I didn't know what else to do, so I left them the pistol for protection."

 

"Maybe you should just send them home, Willy; they're just boys; they don't belong out here doing this.  They should be home, playing and having fun."

 

"I know they should; but we need their help.  I also hired Gregor today; he's watching the field about a kilometer from Peter."

 

"Gregor?"

 

"The taller of the two guys; you know, big mouth.  Dickhead."

 

He laughed.  "OK.  Now I remember.  Why would you hire him; he's just a motor mouth with a bad attitude?"

 

"Because we need more eyes; I need to find ways of getting my men breaks.  We all need some good sleep Wolfy; we're running on fumes.  There are times I find myself sitting out there and someone could walk within a meter of me and I wouldn't see them.  We all need to get a little rest."

 

"Look at it this way, liebe; we're getting far more rest than our brothers in Russia.  No matter how bad we might think it is; it's a million times worse for them.  That's how I get through the days, Willy; I think of them."

 

I felt bad now; I hadn't given them a single thought.  They were far away and I was concerned about right here.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't consider that; you're right.  I'm apologize, Wolfy; that was insensitive of me."

 

"Willy, don't be so hard on yourself.  I know you're tired and I know you worry about us.  It's OK to let something like that slip.  I guess since I've been in combat with them I just think about them more.  Don't apologize."

 

"I know, Wolfy; but it made me feel selfish.  Thousands of our brothers and countrymen are over there fighting and dying; and I'm worried about only having 4 or 5 hours of sleep.  Who does that?"

 

"Stop!  Don't do that; you're berating yourself for something you have no control over.  You're trying to make things better for something you do have control over; don't feel bad about not worrying about them, too."

 

I exhaled loudly and looked him in the eyes.  "I don't know Wolfy…  Maybe my nightmare about Sasha and Erich just fucked with my head; I've felt really out of it since.  I felt like I needed to do whatever I could to protect all of you; and especially them."

 

"Will you do something for me, liebe?"

 

"Anything; you know that."

 

"You know I've never questioned one of your orders or your command decisions, but I've always questioned this one to myself.  Get those boys out of there.  Please.  Get in that car and go get them and take them home.  Please, Willy."

 

I looked in his eyes, seeing something new; pleading.  "OK."

 

"Thank you, liebe.  I love you."

 

"I love you, too."

 

He kissed me again, for about 10 seconds, and then took my hand and led me back to the car.  I handed him his sandwich and cake and looked at him; lost in his eyes, as usual.  He smiled at me.

 

"You'll feel better as soon as you get them home; I promise.  I love you with all my heart, Willy Becker."

 

I smiled.  He'd said it a hundred times at that point, but never that emphatically.  I smiled and closed my eyes for a moment.  I opened my eyes again, finding his still right there.

 

"You're my life, Wolfy; I am nothing without you.  Be safe, bärchen; I'll see you in the morning."

 

He winked at me.  "I'll be counting the minutes.  Go."

 

I got back in the car and started the motor and then looked up at him through the open window.  He smiled at me and I returned it.  I put the car in gear and released the clutch, heading back down the hill to go get Sasha and Erich.  I arrived at the creek in about 20 minutes; Sasha and Erich were still fishing.  I got out of the car and walked towards them, waving to them.  They both look confused.

 

Erich looked up at me.  "Did you change your mind about the pistol, Willy?"

 

"No.  I want you boys to pack up your gear; I'm taking you home."

 

Sasha looks confused and angry.  "Why are you taking us home; did we do something wrong?"

 

"No, Sasha; I just want you boys to go home and enjoy your summer break."

 

"We are enjoying it; we're fishin'.  What's going on, Willy?"

 

"I just don't think you boys should be out here; you could end up hurt or dead.  Now pack your gear up."

 

They pulled their lines out of the water and stood up.  I was facing them with my back to their tent and my car.  I hadn't noticed the man walking up behind me.  Erich and Sasha were walking toward me when they spotted him.

 

"Willy, there's a man there; behind you about 30 meters."

 

Just as I was about to turn around I heard his voice.

 

"What are you doing with those boys, SS man?  Leave them alone!"

 

The voice sounds familiar to me for some reason.  I turn around and look; only to discover it's old man Haidenger.

 

"Herr Haidenger, what are doing out here?"

 

"That's none of your damn business.  Now get away from those boys!"

 

"Those boys are with me; I suggest you mind your own damn business."

 

"I said get away from those boys; before I blow your fool head off!"  He lifts a pistol up and points it at me.

 

"I suggest you put that damn gun away; I will arrest you!"

 

"Fuck you.  You aren't arresting anybody; now get away from those boys!"

 

I turned my head to talk to the boys.  "Get behind me, boys; do it now."  They both stepped in behind me.  I looked back at Haidenger.  "Now put that damn gun down; I'm just taking these boys home."

 

"You're not taking those boys anywhere; you goddamn Nazi scum.  Move away from them, now!"

 

"I suggest you just mind your own damn business, and go back the way you came!"

 

"I hope you rot in Hell!" 

 

He fired the gun, hitting me in the left shoulder.  I was knocked back into Sasha and he put his arms up and we both went over to the side.  I heard a second shot and heard the wood splintering in the tree next to me.  I was lying on the ground, half covering Sasha, and looking up at Haidenger.  I couldn't believe the son of a bitch had actually shot me.  The next thing I knew I heard 8 shots being fired in rapid succession and I watched as Haidenger got pumped full of lead; the first 2 rounds going into his forehead.  He fell over while the bullets were still coming at him.  After he hit the ground, I heard Erich yelling.

 

"You dirty fucker!!  You shot my friend!!!" 

 

He started crying and screaming, dropping my pistol on the ground and collapsing onto his knees, crying.  I use my good right arm and drag myself over to him; pulling him into my arms, holding him while he screamed and sobbed.

 

"Erich…  Sasha's OK; I just knocked him over.  Erich?  Come on, son; it's going to be alright.  Sasha's fine."

 

He was still screaming into my chest, the tears just pouring out of his eyes.  He had his arms wrapped around me, and he was shaking.  Sasha crawled over to us and wraped his arms around Erich, trying to reassure him that he was fine.  Erich looked up at him and pulled his right arm away from me and put it around Sasha and continued to cry and scream.  The three of us were sitting on the ground, Erich crying uncontrollably, and I was looking around me to see if there was anyone else around.  The only thing I saw was the dead body of Haidenger, lying about 10 meters from my car.  I lay my head down on Erich's and tried to comfort him.

 

"Erich…  Come on, son; it's going to be all right; we're all OK, son.  Pull yourself together; we're OK.  We're going to get in the car and get out of here, OK Erich?  Sasha's fine Erich; he wasn't shot.  I just fell into him and knocked him over; Sasha's fine, Erich…."

 

He was still crying but managed to squeak out, "I didn't mean Sasha; I meant you…."

 

Oh, man… That boy thought of me as his friend, and killed a man to protect me.  I pulled him closer to me and squeeze him back, kissing the top of his head.  "I'm OK, Erich; I'm going to be fine.  He was a bad shot; just got me in the shoulder.  I'll be fine, Erich; don't worry about me…."

 

We sat there for about 5 minutes; just holding each other, and holding onto Erich.  He finally got himself under control and tried to lift his head up.  I moved my head so he could look up at me.  His face is drenched with tears and he was still whimpering and shaking a little.

 

"Oh Willy…..  I was so scared he'd killed you…  Please, Willy; promise me you're going to be OK."

 

"I promise, Erich; I'm going to be just fine.  I'll have the doctor take a look at my shoulder and I'll be just fine."

 

He looked at my shoulder and let out a sob.  "Willy!  Your uniform is all bloody; you're bleeding Willy; we have to stop the bleeding!"

 

I looked down at my chest, and sure enough my uniform was full of blood.  I hadn't realized I'd been bleeding that much.  I could've sat there and bled to death before anyone found us.  I looked over at Sasha; who was sitting up and looking at my bleeding shoulder.  He looked at my face; fear written all over his.

 

"Sasha, Erich; do either one of you know how to drive; we have to get to a doctor or get to Wolfy?"

 

Sasha answered.  "I've driven twice, Willy; I'm not very good at it."

 

"Not good is better than not at all; you're driving.  Can you boys help me up?"

 

I sat up straight while they got out from under me; standing up.  They got on either side of me and helped me to stand up.  We slowly walked back to the car, and I looked at Haidenger's body as we passed it.  I counted seven holes in him.  Damn, Erich's father taught him well….  We got to the car and the boys held me up next to the rear passenger door, while Erich reached to open the front door.  They got me seated in the car, putting my feet inside, and closed the door.  I watched as Sasha ran around the front of the car to get in the driver's seat.  I heard Erich getting in the back seat, behind me.  Sasha lookd over at me, then at my shoulder, then back at my face.  He looked terrified.  I gave him the best smile I could manage at the moment.

 

"Start the car, Sasha; we have to go."

 

Just as he was reaching for the starter button, Erich yelped and opened the back door.  "Wait!  I have to get Willy's gun; we can't just leave it here!  I'll be right back!" 

 

He didn't give me time to argue; he was already 10 meters in front of the car.  While he was looking for my pistol, Sasha was sitting there, with the clutch pedal in, and running the lever through the gears; trying to remember which one does what.  I looked at him and gave him another smile.

 

"Over to your knee and up is first; that's what we start in.  Straight back from there is second.  Up half-way and over to my knee is third, and straight back is fourth.  To go backwards, put it in the middle and come all the way over to my knee and go back."

 

He looked at me and grinned.  "Thanks; I was trying to remember."

 

"I know, Sasha; you'll do just great; I know you will."  I smiled at him again.

 

I saw Erich running full speed back at us and he came skidding to a stop next to the back door; yanking it open and diving in.  He looked up at us.

 

"Go!  I got the gun; just drive, Sasha!!"

 

Sasha reved the motor and let the clutch out.  We jerk forward and stall.

 

"FUCK!!!"  He screamed and slamed the clutch back in and started the car again.

 

"Take your time Sasha; you'll do fine."

 

He reved the motor again and released the clutch, a little more slowly this time and we were rolling.  He cranked the wheel to the right and gave it more fuel.  We got turned around and he shifted into second and floored it.  We went bumping and hopping over the field as he worked his way over to the trails I'd kind of left in the tall grass.  He still had the pedal floored and I heard the engine crying.

 

"Shift to third."

 

He made the shift and we picked up speed.  He shifted into fourth and we we were then doing 60 KPH; bouncing and lurching across the open field.  He started yelling out.

 

"Where do we go!? Which way should I go, Willy!?"

 

"Just keep going this way; we'll find Wolfy.  He's over there; just follow the trails I've made in the grass." 

 

I point a little to the right, through the windshield.  He turns the wheel a little and found the trail I'd left in the grass, following it; with the pedal still smashed to the floorboards.  I looked at the speedometer and saw we were then doing 80 KPH.  My shoulder was killing me; both from the wound and the bouncing and jerking around.  I think I'd lost more blood in just the last few minutes; I could feel myself starting to get weak.  I brought my right hand up to my left shoulder and pulled it away; it was bright red.  I looked out the windshield again; trying to follow our path; making sure we were heading in the right direction.  We were moving quickly and pretty soon were on the uphill climb leading towards Wolfy's location.  As we were pulling the hill the car began to slow a little and Sasha was getting frustrated.

 

"The damn thing is slowing down, Willy; what do I do?"

 

"Just let it climb the hill Sasha; we're almost to Wolfy; he's at the top of the hill by those trees."

 

Sasha looked at the steering wheel and spotted what he was after.  He slammed his hand on it; laying on the horn, never letting off of it until we finally came to a stop about 3 meters from a startled Wolfy.  Sasha got the car stopped with a jolt; forgetting to push the clutch and killing the engine.  I watched as Wolfy ran up to the driver's door, looking at Sasha driving.  Sasha starts screaming out the window at him.

 

"Willy's been shot; you have to help us!!!"

 

I saw the blood drain from Wolfy's face as he stopped and ran around to my side; yanking the door open and dropping to his knees next to me.

 

"Oh my God!  Are you OK, Willy?  Who shot you; did Erich?"

 

"No!  It wasn't Erich; Erich saved my life; saved all of us."

 

He looks like he's about to cry.  "Who shot you, liebe; please tell me what happened?"

 

"Haidenger.  He walked up on us while I was getting the boys.  He thought I was taking them away or something and shot me.  Erich emptied my clip into him."

 

Erich was about to have a melt-down in the back seat; he starts screaming at Wolfy.  "Just help him, Wolfy!!  You have to help Willy; he's bleeding; he's bleeding all over his uniform and its coming fast.  You have to help him, dammit!!!"

 

"I'll help him, Erich; I will."

 

He leans his head in the door and looks at my shoulder.  I saw him flinch and he turned to look at me.  He looked scared.

 

"I need to get the blood stopped, Willy; you're going to bleed to death out here.  I need to get that damn jacket off of you."

 

"If you'll help me; I'll get out."

 

"No; just lean forward and I'll get it off of you."

 

I do as ordered and he took my jacket off as best he could; basically he just pulled it off my shoulders and shoving it behind me so he has access to my shoulder.  He yells over to Sasha and Erich.

 

"I need your help!  There's a towel in the trunk of the car; get it!  Shasha, get over here and stay with Willy; I'm going to the other side so I can get a better look at his shoulder."

 

The boys did as ordered.  Wolfy was leaning over my shoulder, holding the towel against the wound; trying to staunch the blood.  He looked up at my face; catching my eyes, like he always did.

 

"I love you.  We have to get you to a doctor, liebe; I don't have a field dress kit up here.  I need to get you to the doctor."

 

"OK, Wolfy…."  I'm getting weaker.  I try to grin at him.  "I love you…."

 

"I live for you.  I won't let anything happen to you."  He gave me a sad smile and sat up in the seat, pulling the door closed.  He yells outside the window while starting the engine.

 

"Get back in the car; we're taking Willy to the doctor!!"

 

The boys jumped in the back seat and Wolfy slammed the gear lever into first and tore out, cranking the wheel and heading us back down the hill.  I was too weak to care how fast he was going, but I could tell we were moving; the ground was moving by quickly and it seemed like we hit every other bump, crashing into it and launching to the next one.  We got to the road and he tore around the corner, pointing the car towards the village.  I thought I'd blacked out a few times because it only seemed like seconds and we were coming to a screeching halt in front of the doctor's house.  Wolfy jumped out of the driver's seat and ran around the front of the car to my door; yanking it open.  He lowered himself down and looked in at me.

 

"Hang on, dammit; we're at the doctor's.  I'm going to lift you out of the car, Willy."

 

He slid his arm behind me and pulled me out, grabbing under my knees with his right arm.  My head cleared the door frame and he stood up and walked into the yellow house, carrying me in his arms.  I could faintly make out that he was yelling to someone.

 

"I need a fucking doctor, right now!!  I have a man who's been shot!"

 

I blacked out again.  The next time I woke up, I could feel myself lying on my back and I was looking up at a set of lights, hanging from the ceiling.  I heard Wolfy's voice, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.  The room went dark again.  The next time I woke up, I was still on my back, but the lights above me were different.  There was only one this time, and there was a glass shade over it.  Whatever I was lying on was more comfortable than my bed at the farm so I knew I was not there.  I turned my head to the right.  I saw grey cloth.  I moved my eyes up and saw Peter, looking down at me and smiling.  I tried to smile back but I wasn't sure if I'd managed it.  I turned my head to my left and saw more grey material.  I look higher and saw my love.  He was right next to me; smiling at me, and I could feel his hand in mine.  I squeezed my left hand, hoping he could feel it.  I felt pain in my shoulder and stopped squeezing.  I was just looking into his eyes; those beautiful brown eyes that I always got lost in.  He was still smiling.

 

"I love you.  It's about time you opened your eyes; I thought you were just going to take the rest of the year off and let us do all of the work."

 

"Bärchen…?"

 

He smiles.  "Your one and only.  How are you feeling?"

 

I could hear my own voice, not sure if it was really mine; it was scratchy and quiet.  "Tired and sore."

 

He grinned at me.  "You've been out for almost 20 hours, you shouldn't feel tired.  Sore I can understand."

 

"Where are we, bärchen; and why is Peter here?"

 

"At the doctor's house, liebe.  I brought you here yesterday; he fixed you up.  Peter's here to see you."

 

"I remember riding in the car; bouncing.  How are Erich and Sasha?"

 

"They're fine; they're home.  They were here about an hour ago; checking on you."

 

"Did the doctor get the bullet out?"

 

"He did.  You're going to be fine, liebe.  You just have to rest for awhile; I'll take care of you while you get better."

 

"How long….?"

 

"How long for what, liebe?"

 

I took a couple of breaths, still looking in his eyes.  "How long have I been here?"

 

He grinned.  "20 hours.  You were lying here, just snoring away."

 

"No…  I mean, how long was I out before the doctor got the bullet out?"

 

"Only about 20 minutes; don't worry about it.  You're fine now.  I'll take you home and help you get better."

 

"I saw you there, bärchen; it was… good."  I tried to smile again.

 

"I'll always be there…."

 

"Peter…?"

 

"Yes, Willy?"

 

"Hi."

 

He laughed.  "Hi, yourself.  How's the shoulder, Willy?"

 

"Still there, I guess.  How's everyone?"  I was still looking in Wolfy's eyes while I talk to Peter.

 

"They're fine; worried about you."

 

"Tell them to rest, please Peter; tell them to rest…."

 

"They are resting, Willy; I brought them home."

 

"Good.  Thank you, Peter."

 

"You're welcome, Willy.  I'll let you and Wolfy be alone now; I'm heading back to the farm; any messages for the men?"

 

"Just make them rest, Peter; please."  I turned my head and looked at Peter.  "They need to rest, Peter."

 

"They are resting, Willy; don't worry about them; just get better yourself."

 

I smiled at him.  "Thank you."

 

"You're welcome.  I'll see you back at the farm, Willy.  Feel better."

 

He smiled at me again and turned around, walking out of the room.  I turned back to Wolfy and smiled at him.

 

"I love you.  God, how I love you…."

 

He smiled at me.  "You're my world, liebe; I love you with everything I am.  Just don't ever scare me like that again, please, liebe…."

 

"I won't, bärchen; I promise."  I looked at him; his eyes.  "My eyes are feeling heavy.  If I close them, will you promise to be there when I open them again?"

 

"Of course; I'll be right here, by your side.  Close your eyes, liebe; get some rest; I'll be right here."

 

"OK."  I closed my eyes again.

 

The next time I opened them the room was much darker.  I saw light coming from a small lamp about 3 meters away.  I didn't see Wolfy.  I turned my head to the right.  There he is.

 

"Bärchen…?"

 

"Right here, Willy."  He was sitting in a chair but jumped up and walked over to me, smiling down at me.  "How're you feeling?"

 

"OK.  What time is it?"

 

He looks at his watch.  "It's 0410 in the morning."

 

I nodded my head.  "Why are you sleeping in the chair; just get in bed with me?"

 

He smiled.  "I would love to, but it's kind of small; and I'm not sure the doctor would like it much."

 

"We're still at the doctor's?"

 

He grinned.  "Yes, liebe.  You fell asleep about 9 hours ago while you were talking to Peter and me."

 

"Take me home."

 

He laughed.  "I would love nothing more; but you can't leave until the doctor says you can.  If you need to rest, then rest Willy; that's why we're here."

 

"I can rest at home."

 

"I will take you home as soon as the doctor says it's OK.  Are you hungry or anything?"

 

"Yes.  It seems like days since I had that sandwich in the car."

 

"Almost.  I will get you something to eat."

 

"I'll eat when we get home.  I need to see everyone; make sure they're all right; that they're rested."

 

"They're fine, Willy; Peter's looking after them.  Don't worry.  I will go get you something to eat."

 

After Wolfy returned with some food and I ate half of it, we talked for about an hour and I fell asleep again.  The damn doctors made me stay another day before letting me go back to the farm; go home.  I guess it was home; at least for then.  Home was anywhere Wolfy was; and the rest of my team, as well.  Wolfy had never left my side, other than to go to the bathroom and get food for us, from the moment Sasha had pulled up to the trees.  He was standing there smiling at me, holding up one of my uniforms, that Hage had brought when he came to see me last night.  It was 7 A.M. and I was finally getting sprung from this place.  He smiled at me and wiggled my uniform back and forth.

 

"I've wondered several times what it would be like to strip you out of this, but now I get to put you in it."

 

"Pervert."  I grinned at him.

 

"Only for you.  Are you about ready to get out of this place and go home?"

 

"It's about damn time.  I'm all yours; get me dressed and take me home."

 

He helped me get into my uniform and we were soon in the car and driving to the farm.  We pulled up out back, next to the porch, and I watched as the other 3 came streaming out of the back door; all of them grinning.  I looked at them and smiled.  We'd only been together for a few months, but I'd grown to love all of them; they were my team, my comrades and my friends.  Jan jumped off the porch and opened my door for me.

 

"Welcome home, Willy!"

 

"Thanks, Jan; it's damn good to be here.  How are you?"

 

"I'm fine, Willy; the main question is, how are you?"

 

I grinned at him.  "Better, but still kind of sore and weak at times.  Have you been resting?"

 

"Yes, Sir!  Peter ordered all of us home and into bed about an hour after you'd been shot."

 

"Good; I knew I kept him around for something.  Help me up out of this car, please, Jan."

 

"Of course; take my hand."

 

I grabbed his outstretched hand and he pulled a little while I set my feet on the ground and stood up.  Once I was standing, I pulled him into a hug.  I knew he'd be shocked but he held me tight anyway.  I whispered into his ear.

 

"I was worried about all of you; I'm glad you're OK."

 

"We're fine, Willy; don't worry about us so much.  You need to rest and get better, too."

 

"Thanks, Jan."

 

"Anytime, Willy."

 

I broke the hug and he took my right arm and led me up the step of the porch.  Peter and Hage were standing there, grinning.  They were happy to see me; but also finding the humor in the shock of my hugging Jan.  I stopped in front of Hage and returned his grin.

 

"Do I get one of those, too; or just the young studs?"

 

"Shut up; you are a young stud; come here."  I pulled him into a hug and we held it for about 20 seconds.  I whispered into his ear.  "I've been really worried about you; I'm glad you got some rest and you're OK."

 

"We're all fine, Willy; just worried about you and hoping you're the one that's OK."

 

"I'll be back to my arrogant, smart-assed self in no time."

 

"Good, we've missed that side of you."

 

We both laughed and broke the hug.  I walked over to Peter.  "You're not as young as these two, but still a stud."

 

He laughed loudly.  "Talk about a back-handed complement.  Come here, old man."

 

We both laughed and gave each other a quick hug.

 

"Thanks for taking care of them, Peter; I owe you."

 

"You owe me nothing, Willy.  Now get your arrogant, smart ass in there and go to your room; that's an order."

 

I laughed.  "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I still outrank you; you can't give me orders."

 

He grinned at me.  "Oh contraire, mon frère; you outrank me, but as long as you're laid up, I'm in command.  Now get your ass in that house, old man."

 

I laughed again.  "You've been itching for this day to come, haven't you?"

 

He rubbed his hands together, grinning.  Everyone else started laughing.  "Since the day I met you in Berlin…."  I laughed even harder.

 

I gave him an evil grin.  "OK; you win.  I have a long, long memory, and I will get back to full duty, and you'll be scrubbing pots and peeling potatoes while Jan and Hage are sitting there watching you, Corporal."

 

Everyone started laughing again.  "Yeah, but I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it while I can.  Now move your ass!"

 

I shoke my ass back and forth and everyone was about ready to fall over from laughing.  The hugs and joking around may not have been the best idea; my shoulder started to really bother me again.  Peter saw me wince.

 

"Willy?  You OK?"

 

"Good, Peter; just shouldn't be doing this so soon, I guess.  Shoulder let me know about it, too."

 

He looked over at Wolfy.  "Get him inside and up to his room."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

Wolfy took my arm and led me away from them; Jan was holding the back door open for us.  He looked a little worried then.

 

"Don't worry, Jan; I just fucked around too soon.  I'll be OK."

 

"OK, Willy.  Let Wolfy take care of you.  If you need something just let one of us know; we'll get it for you."

 

"Thanks, Jan.  I'll be fine."

 

He smiled at me and Wolfy led me in the house.  Once we were up in my room, he turned me to him and looked in my eyes.  "Are you in pain?"

 

"Yeah.  I shouldn't have started goofing off this soon I guess."

 

"No, you shouldn't have.  I'll get you one of the pills the doctor gave us.  Sit down on the bed and don't move around too much; I'll be right back."

 

"Thanks, Wolfy."

 

He put his arms around my right side and helped me sit on the bed, then walked out of the room to go get the pills.  I heard him running back up the stairs in about two minutes.  He walked into my room carrying a glass of water and 3 packets.  He stopped at the table next to my bed and set the water glass down, then looked at the packets, one by one, until he found the one he was looking for.  He pulled a pill out with his finger and set the packet on the table, picking up the glass and turning to me.  "Take this; it should help with the pain."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

He smirked.  "I'm sorry; I don't mean to sound like I'm giving you orders."

 

"You're the only one who's allowed too, bärchen."  I smiled at him and then popped the pill in my mouth and drank half the water down.  I handed him the glass and smiled at him.  "Thank you, Wolfy.  I guess you get your wish now; you get to take me out of this uniform."  I gave him a lewd grin.

 

He smiled at me.  "I've been waiting for this moment."  He set the glass on the table and turned back to me.  "Give me your right hand and I'll help you stand."

 

He got me stripped out of my uniform, down to my shorts, and helped me into bed.  Once I was all tucked in and looking like I wasn't wincing anymore, he sat on the bed next to me.  He looked down at me.  "Don't do that again, until you're back to normal; OK, liebe?"

 

"I won't.  I hate being laid up.  I feel like a fucking invalid."

 

"It's been less than 3 days since you were shot; you are one, for now."

 

"I still hate it.  What did you say the men did with Haidenger's body?"

 

"Stuffed him in a meat grinder…."

 

I laughed.  "No….  Really, what did they do with him?"

 

"They stuffed him in the trunk of the car and hauled him over to Poland and buried his ass.  They gave him a Viking funeral, too."

 

I smirked.  "What did they do to that idiot?"

 

He laughed.  "Peter, Jan, and Hage each put a round in his head and then set him on fire.  They buried the remains."

 

I laughed again.  "Damn, the poor bastard's got more lead in him now than a Panzer carries in ordinance."

 

"You ain't lying.  Erich's a hell of a shot; put 7 rounds in that fucker; all of them lethal."

 

"How is he; how's he feeling about that?"

 

"He seems all right.  I've only seen him when he came to see you the other day.  Hage said they were both here; hoping you'd been sent home."

 

"I'm worried about him, Wolfy.  I know what goes through your head after you kill a man the first time.  I can't even image what it's like when you're 14."

 

"We'll look after him, liebe; don't worry.  Hage, Jan, and I already know what to look for and we all said we'd keep watch on him.  Don't worry."

 

I closed my eyes for a second.  "Thanks, bärchen.  I know you will take care of him; you're good men; all of you."

 

"We emulate our leader.  Now, quit worrying so much about everyone else and concentrate on getting better.  Do you want me to do anything for you?"

 

"Take your clothes off."  He smirked.  "I'm serious.  Take your clothes off and join me.  I want you next to me."

 

"What about the others?"

 

"There isn't enough room for them in our bed; let them find their own man."

 

He laughed.  "No…. You know what I mean."

 

"Go get them and bring them here."

 

He laughed again.  "Making it with 4 guys might be kind of fun; but I don't like to share."

 

I laughed.  "Dussel (goof), that's not what I meant.  Go get them, please."

 

He gave me a strange look and got off the bed, and walked out of the room.  He was back with the other 3 in a couple of minutes.  They formed a semi-circle around my bed, looking down at me and smiling.  I started.  "I want to thank you all for everything.  Wolfy also told me that you agreed to keep a watch on Erich; make sure he's handling this shooting OK.  I can't tell you how proud I am of you for doing that.  I'm worried about him.  Thank you, very much."

 

Hage answered.  "Don't thank us for that, Willy; we're worried about him, too.  Killing someone at 14 has to fuck with your head; we'll look after him."

 

"Thank you, Hage; I know you will.  If they come here to check on me I want them brought straight up here, even if I'm asleep; wake me up."

 

"We will."

 

"I also want to say that I'm glad Peter pulled you all off those damn hills.  You all needed to get some rest.  I don't know how we're going to proceed with that, just yet, but we'll figure something out.  There has to be something that will let us get a little more rest but still allow us to find these bastards.  Now, the final reason I asked Wolfy to bring you here.  I know it's really strange for you having Wolfy and me in this relationship; being together the way we are.  I'm very thankful that you're all as good with this as you are.  We told you we would keep the touchy-feely crap down to a minimum and in private.  We've done our best to keep to our word.  And now to the meat of this sandwich; I want Wolfy up here with me.  Not just now, but even after I'm better; and I'd like to know how you all feel about that."

 

Peter cleared his throat.  "I don't have a problem with it."  He grinned.  "Just keep the noise down, will you?  I sleep down the hall and don't want to hear anyone jumping from the rafters, fucking like monkeys."  Everyone laughed.

 

I looked at Peter, grinning.  "No monkey fucking; understood."

 

"I'm OK with it.  I'll miss having Wolfy in my room, but I understand.  And I'm glad for both of you; really."  Hage smiled at me.

 

I returned his smile and looked at Jan.

 

"Jan, I know you've had the hardest time with this; and I'm sorry about that; I really am.  I know you find this whole thing disgusting, and I understand your feelings.  I will honor your feelings.  If you simply cannot deal with Wolfy and me sharing a room, tell me, and I will respect your wishes."

 

Jan gave me a shy smile.  "I'm OK with it, Willy.  I've gotten over it.  I've watched the two of you together, and it's amazing to me, actually.  That two people, men or women, can love each other that much; be that happy just seeing the other walk into a room.  It's still sappy as hell, but it's kind of nice.  Wolfy never left your side the last few days.  If I ever meet someone that devoted to me I will count myself a lucky man.  And I live down the hall, too, so I agree about the monkey fucking."  He grinned.

 

I smiled at him.  "Thank you, Jan.  And always remember, that if you are having trouble dealing with something about it, please come and talk to me.  I will help you try to understand as much as I can."

 

"I know, Willy, but I'm OK with it; really.  Don't worry about it anymore.  I still would rather not see you guys fucking or anything, but I'm OK with the touchy-feely crap.  Like you said, the things I was told have turned out to be a lie.  You are both very tough, masculine, SS soldiers who I am honored to serve with and would be honored to fight next to.  You both just don't fit what I've been told.  If you love each other, then do what you want to do."

 

"Thanks, Jan, we do; without question.  Now that that's settled I'd appreciate it if everyone other than Wolfy would get the hell out of our room.  I've asked this man to lie down next to me and keep me company, but he wouldn't do it because of you."

 

They all chuckled.  Hage looked at Wolfy, grinning.  "Just take your fucking clothes off and get in bed with that man.  Are you dense?"

 

Jan smirked.  "I'm out of here.  Bye."  He walked out of the room, laughing.

 

Wolfy looked at Hage and snorted.  "Get the fuck out of our room, boy.  If you're nice to me, I'll let you help me bring my shit up here."

 

"Nice try; move your own shit.  I'm out of here.  Feel better, Willy."  He turned and walked out.

 

Peter looked at me, grinning and shaking his head.  "My God….  I'll never get any sleep now.  It's too bad this room is right over Hage's; I'd trade with him."  He laughed.

 

"There's always the barn."  I grinned at him.

 

"Hey, yeah!  You two could just move into the barn; fuck each other silly every night and I wouldn't be able to hear it.  I'll help you pack."  He grinned at me.

 

I laughed.  "Wrong again, Private; I meant you."

 

He and Wolfy burst up laughing.  Peter finally calmed down enough to talk again.  "The way I see it, it's 3 against 2; you'll be in the barn by the end of the week."

 

"Yeah, but you're the only one with the ears of a Wolf.  No offense, Wolfy."  They both laughed.

 

Peter looked at me, still shaking his head and smiling.  "Nice try.  Whatever.  Good day, gentlemen.  I'll be over in Poland with my fingers in my ears should anyone need me."  He laughed and walked out, closing the door behind him.

 

I looked at Wolfy, standing about a meter away from me.  I lifted the covers up on his side of the bed and smiled at him.  "Take your clothes off."

 

He smiled at me and started removing his clothes.  Once he was down to his shorts, he looked at me.

 

"Those, too."

 

He laughed.  "You still have yours on."

 

"I expect you to change that when you get in here."

 

He grinned and dropped his shorts; standing there for my inspection.  I looked him up and down.  "Incredible…."  He blushed.  "Come here, bärchen."  He blushed again and smiled at me.  He took two steps and got into bed, turning to me.

 

"I can't believe you did that."

 

"What; made you take off your shorts?"

 

He smirked.  "No, brought them all up here to ask them."

 

"We both needed to know the answer.  Now we do; and I couldn't be happier.  I get to spend my nights with the man I'm desperately in love with."

 

He blushed again.  He's becoming cuter to me all of the time. 

 

"I'm happy you did.  I love this, Willy; it's what I've wanted since the night we spent in this bed."

 

"Me, too.  Now it's our bed and we can use it anytime we want.  This is your room now; our room."

 

"I wish we could hug and make out right now; I'd really love to.

 

I smiled at him.  "Not nearly as much as I would.  Soon, very soon.  You can still kiss me, though; just no rough stuff."  I grinned at him.

 

"Anytime." 

 

He lifted himself up and leans over my face, coming down on my mouth and holding his lips to mine; his tongue asking for entry.  I opened my mouth a little and let him in, tasting everything that's him.  I moaned.  I've only kissed a few men in my life, but none of them, or anyone else for that matter, could match what I felt when he did it.  He held the kiss for about 20 seconds and pulled up a little.

 

"I've missed doing that."

 

I smiled up at him.  "You can do it anytime you want."

 

He lowered his head and kissed me again.  He held the kiss for another 15 or 20 seconds and laid his head back down on the pillow beside me.  He took my hand in his and we both just lay there, staring up at the ceiling.  I thought the pill was starting to kick in; my shoulder wasn't shooting needles of sharp pain through me any longer, and I was getting heavy eyelids again.  I squeezed Wolfy's hand a little; he squeezed right back.  After a few minutes, he pulled himself closer to me, snuggling his head next to mine and sighed a contented sigh.  I closed my eyes, feeling safe once again, and let myself relax.

 

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was streaming in through the window and I was alone.  I looked around the room and he was not there; his clothes were gone, too.  I lifted my left arm up and looked at my watch; 1243.  The last time I had noticed the time it had been a little before eight.  I hated sleeping so much; it made me feel like I was wasting so much time.  I lifted my head up and looked towards the door.  It was ajar about 7 cm and I could hear a couple of voices from below; it sounded like Hage and Wolfy.  Forgetting my shoulder I tried to push myself up on my elbows, putting a ton of pressure on my injured shoulder.  I yelped out in pain and fell back into the pillow.  The next thing I knew, I heard what sounds like a herd of boots running up the stairs and down the hall.  Wolfy and Hage come crashing into the room; Wolfy walking up to the bed and looking down, worried.

 

"Willy, are you OK; what happened?"

 

"I was stupid; I tried lifting myself up on my arms.  I'm sorry I worried you."

 

He shook his head, frowning at me.  "I wish you'd stop being so stubborn and just let us help you; I don't want you hurting your shoulder more."

 

"I'm sorry; I wasn't even thinking about it.  I'd actually forgotten about it, and just tried sitting up like I normally would.  Those pills give you a real kick in the ass."

 

He grinned.  "That's what they're supposed to do.  What did you need; I'll get it for you?"

 

"I really didn't need anything; I was just trying to sit up in bed.  I fucking hate this, Wolfy; I'm going to be a lunatic by the time I'm up and around.  I can't even take a piss without help!"

 

Hage looked down at me, grinning.  "I think Wolfy enjoys that part."

 

I grinned up at him.  "Well, OK; I do too, but it's still going to drive me crazy."

 

Wolfy grinned at me.  "It is my favorite part, but you still need to rest.  The more you try to move around and fuck up your shoulder, the longer you'll be laid up.  Now, how about some lunch; I'll bring it to you?"

 

I thought about something.  "Why did you get out of bed; why did you leave me alone?"

 

He looked guilty.  "I'm sorry, liebe.  You fell asleep and I wanted to just let you rest.  I got up and went down to help clean this smelly place up.  It smells like wet dog around here; wet dog mixed with nasty feet."

 

I grinned.  "So I was told recently.  OK; I'm sorry I panicked.  Some lunch sounds good; my stomach feels empty.  You realize though, that if you feed me, you'll have to help me later with the outbound?"

 

"You're the only one I'd do that for; don't worry about it.  Who told you it smelled in here?"

 

"Gregor.  He came by that morning to bring me the film from Bruno.  Shit!  Where's the film!?"

 

"I found it in your pants pocket; I put it on top of your desk.  Who's Gregor and Bruno?"

 

I laughed.  "Sorry…  You know them better as dickhead and Heidi."

 

"Oh, yeah.  So Heidi actually got some photos for you in Poland?  What did he take photographs of?"

 

"A man who sells secrets.  He told me he'd heard of someone and I asked him to get me photos of him, and we'd have him picked up."

 

"Oh, that's good.  Do you want me to send the film to Berlin?"

 

"I'd like to see the photos first.  Do you know if anyone around here can process the roll?"

 

"I'll ask Herr Reinhard when I see him later.  Did that dickhead take some of our food; we seem to have gone through it pretty fast?"

 

"I gave him some; to thank him for bringing me the film.  Old man Haidenger threw him out; so he was hungry.  I guess he can just move into the house now…."

 

"I wonder if he even knows about his dead father?  You hired him to watch one of the locations, didn't you?"

 

"Yes.  The field about 3 km northeast of the school; he may be up there for all I know."

 

"I'll go up there before I go to the market; see if he's there and tell him about his dead, fucking father.  You said you were paying him, too, right; just like Sasha and Erich?"

 

"Yes.  That reminds me…  In the bottom right drawer of the desk is Jakob's money; what's left of it.  I think there's still about 2200 marks.  I want to give it all to Sasha and Erich, Wolfy; they deserve it.  They deserve much more; but that's all that's left."

 

He smiled at me.  "I'll see that they get it.  Or better yet; when they come to check on you; you give it to them.  Now, just stay there; and I will bring you some lunch."

 

"Yes, Sir!"  Hage smirked.  I looked at him, grinning.  "He's the only one who get's that; don't get any ideas."

 

He grinned at me.  "Damn; you couldn't fall in love with me, huh?  What's so special about this big ox?"

 

"Everything.  He's my big ox; leave him alone."  I gave him an evil grin.

 

He smirked again.  "I thought he was your bärchen?"

 

"He is.  Be nice; you had him first.  I can't help it if you can't keep a man."  He blushed.  Wolfy laughed.

 

"I didn't want him; we were just in it for the fun.  I hope to get married when this damn war is over; and not to a man."

 

"Good for you, Hage.  I want you to be happy; I want all of you to go on and have long, wonderful lives."

 

"Thanks, Willy; we want that for you and the big ox, too."

 

"I'll go get your lunch, Willy.  Come on, horny dog, you can help," Wolfy said.

 

They left the room and headed downstairs together.  I lay there like a wounded animal and just looked around the room.  They were back in about 5 minutes with a plate of food and a glass of beer.  Hage set the food on the table and they both lifted me up to a sitting position on the bed.  Wolfy looked at me and grinned.

 

"You want me to spoon feed you?"

 

I gave him a dirty look.  "Don't even think about it; just give me the damn plate, I can feed myself."

 

Hage snorted.  Wolfy grinned at me and handed me the plate of sliced pork, cheese and bread.  I took the plate from him, rested it on my lap and smiled at him.

 

"Thank you.  I can take care of this; go ahead and go see Herr Reinhard."

 

"I'm leaving Hage here with you.  He can take the plate when you're done and help you to the bathroom if you need to go."

 

"I don't want him getting into my shorts; he won't give it back."  I looked at Hage and grinned. 

 

Wolfy laughed.  "You might like it; he's pretty damn good.  OK; I'll stay until you're done eating."

 

"No, just go see Herr Reinhard.  I'm a big boy; I can feed myself, and I'll just leave the plate on the bed.  You should take Hage with you.  Reinhard thinks the sun shines out of his ass; he's his good boy."  They both laughed.

 

"Fine.  I'll take the cock hound with me; I don't want him alone with you anyway.  Come onn boy; we have things to do."  He looked at me and smiled.  "Enjoy your lunch; I love you, and I'll see you shortly."

 

"I love you, too.  Be safe; both of you.  And take 20 marks to dickhead.  The other money is in the top drawer of the desk; you might need some for food as well."

 

"Yes, Boss."

 

"And give me my beer before you go; it'll drive me crazy being able to see it and not get to it."

 

They both laughed and Hage handed me the beer.  I moved the plate down and shoved the glass between my legs; Hage was watching me and grinning.  Wolfy slapped him on the back of the head and then grabbed his shoulder, shoving him towards the door.  Wolfy stopped at the desk and grabbed some money and waved to me and left.  I laughed and got to my lunch.  When I was done eating, I drained the glass and belched, feeling better.  I set the plate and glass on Wolfy's side of the bed and just looked around the room.  I hated being laid up.  Even when I was a boy and would get sick, I hated it.  I loved having my mother take care of me, but I still fought her tooth and nail.  I'd been sitting there about 10 minutes when the beer hit.  Shit; I had to piss.  I decided if I was careful with my shoulder I could get myself to the damn bathroom.  I wasn't crippled; I just had a sore shoulder.  I gingerly got myself out of bed and walked to the bathroom.  Once I was done and flushed the toilet, I turned around and headed back to my room.  Just as I came out of the bathroom, Jan was coming down the hall.  He stopped and looked at me.

 

"What are you doing; you're not supposed to be up and around by yourself?"

 

"I appreciate the concern, Jan; but I can still take a piss by myself.  Would you take the plate and glass back with you, please?"

 

"Of course.  I'll help you back into bed, if you want."

 

"Thank you, Jan, but I think I have it figured out."

 

He smiled and followed me back into my room.  He ran around me and grabbed the plate and glass off the bed and set them on the table.  He was back around to my side before I even get sat down on the bed.  He was standing in front of me.

 

"Tell you what; once I get sat down and turned in, could you stack the pillows up behind my back?  I don't want to lie down.  Every time I do I pass out, and I'm tired of sleeping."

 

"Of course.  Just take it easy, Willy."

 

"I will; I promise."

 

I grinned at him and fell on my ass, on the bed.  As I was turning my body and bringing my legs off the floor, he bent down and grabbed my ankles, while spinning me into position.  I rolled my eyes and let him do it.  He got my feet tucked under the covers and then grabbed the pillows, fluffed them up and stacked them behind my back and shoulders.  I leaned back and let the pillows take my weight.  He was looking down at me with a concerned look on his face.

 

"Thank you, Jan; I'll be fine now.  I'm just going to sit here and stare at the walls for awhile."

 

"Do you need one of your pills?"

 

"I'm supposed to take the round ones every 6 hours; I guess I should have one of them.  Thank you, Jan."

 

"You're welcome.  Let me go fill the glass up with water from the bathroom and I'll be right back."

 

He grabbed the glass and left.  He was back in 20 seconds and held the glass and a round pill to me.  I took the pill and swallowed half the water, and handed the glass back to him.  I never expected him to be so caring and helpful.  Of all the men in the house, he had always been the most shy and timid.  And knowing what he did of me, and how he felt about it, I found it amazing.

 

"Thank you, Jan.  I appreciate the help; you're a good man."

 

"You're welcome.  I've been worried about you, Willy.  I was scared shitless when I found out you'd been shot."

 

"I'm sorry I scared everyone, Jan.  I'll be honest with you though.  I find this kind of surprising; I didn't think you liked me anymore."

 

"I've liked you since that night on the train.  I didn't like what I found out about you; but I'm over that now.  You were right again; you're the same man, I just know something new about you.  You've always been fair and honorable; I can't let my feelings about fag's change how I think of you."

 

I smiled up at him.  "Thank you, Jan.  I really do appreciate that.  You've always been so shy and quiet around me; I never know what you're thinking or feeling inside.  I'm going to be laid up here for a few weeks.  And I would be grateful for the opportunity to have some talks with you; get to know you a little better."

 

He smiled.  "I'd like that too, Willy.  I've always been timid around officers.  I guess it comes from dealing with my grandfather my whole life.  It was never personal, Willy; I'm just nervous around officers."

 

"The only difference between you and me, Jan, is I went to university.  That's what gave me my commission; not because I'm a better man than you.  I've told all of you countless times; we're equal in my eyes."

 

"Thanks, Willy.  Do you need anything; I'll get it for you?"

 

"Actually, if there's anything to read around here, that would be good.  I can only stare at the walls for so long before I'll go mad."

 

"I'll find something and bring it to you."

 

"Thanks, Jan."

 

He smiled and turned to leave, grabbing the plate on his way out.  He was back in about 10 minutes with his SS manual.  He grinned and handed me the book.

 

"I'm sorry; this is all I could find.  You can read up on what the life of a Corporal is like."

 

I laughed.  "Thanks, Jan; I appreciate it.  I guess it wouldn't hurt me to see how life is for those I command, huh?"

 

He smiled.  "Yeah, I don't think it's as much fun as being an officer, though."

 

I smirked.  "Being an officer isn't everything it's cracked up to be; you're responsible for everyone.  Tell you what; my officer's manual is in the top left drawer of that desk.  Take it and read it if you want."

 

He grinned.  "Thanks, I will."

 

"Help yourself.  You should be out cold in less than 20 minutes."  I laughed.

 

He grinned at me and walked over to the desk, and reached in for my manual.  He took it, smiled at me and walked out of the room.  I looked at the cover of his manual; it was the same as mine, just a different color.  I started reading the manual, and found out a few things I didn't know.  I managed to read for about an hour and I was out cold again; just leaning up against the pillows, my head lolling forward.  I don't how long I'd been asleep when I felt someone touching my arm very lightly.  I opened my eyes and looked over.  It was Erich and he looked nervous.

 

I broke into a big smile.  "Hallo mein held; mein freund!"  (My hero; my friend)

 

He blushed furiously.  "Hallo, Willy; du bist wohlauf?"  (You are well.)

 

"I am better; thank you, Erich.  And you; you are well, too, I hope?"

 

"I'm fine, Willy.  I'm scared; I'm scared for you."

 

"Oh, don't be, my friend; I'll be back on my feet in no time."

 

He gave me a shy smile.  "Good.  Are you in pain?"

 

"Sometimes; but I have medicine.  It makes me sleep a lot, but it helps.  Where is Sasha; he didn't come with you?"

 

"He's downstairs with Jan and Peter; they're showing him the radio again.  He wants to key something, to talk with someone from far away."

 

I smiled at him.  "Maybe he'll be a radio operator when he's older.  You are OK, my friend; I worry about you?"

 

He thought for a second before answering.  "I feel bad, for killing Herr Haidenger; but I couldn't let him harm you further."

 

"I know, Erich.  It's a terrible thing to take a man's life.  I'm here for you, Erich; if you ever need to talk, or a shoulder to cry on; I'm here."

 

"I know, Willy.  I just don't know what to feel about it, that's all."

 

"You're feeling what everyone feels in the same place; I would be worried if you weren't.  I still think about the man I killed; and that was a long time ago.  I'm sorry, my friend, but the feelings will never go away; they just become easier to manage.  You think about it less often after awhile."

 

"I don't understand; why did he want to kill you?  You weren't harming us; why did he try to kill you?"

 

"He was an angry, hateful man, Erich.  He didn't like me because of my uniform; nothing more.  He has been rude and mean to me since the day I met him."

 

"But you did nothing to him.  You are here doing your duty; it doesn't make sense."

 

"There are many things in life that don't make sense, Erich; this war, for instance.  People hate for their own reasons; it's not always easy to understand why.  Did you know he has a son?"

 

"I've heard of him; Gregor; but I've never met him."

 

"Herr Haidenger made his son's life a living hell.  He probably deserved some of it, at times; he's got a big mouth on him.  But that's probably Herr Haidenger's fault, too."

 

"Where is his son now; does he know about his father?"

 

"He is watching one of the hills for me.  Wolfy went to tell him."

 

"He will hate me for killing his father."  The tears started to flow from his eyes.

 

"Oh, Erich; don't cry, my friend.  I really don't think Gregor will be too upset; he hated his father."

 

"I'm sorry, Willy.  I know a man isn't supposed to cry, but sometimes I can't stop it.  I'm sorry."

 

"Oh, Erich, don't ever be sorry for crying.  There is nothing wrong with it at times.  Sometimes the feelings are just too strong and you have to let them out.  I've cried, too, Erich; don't worry about crying in front of me."  I reached up and pulled him to me with my good arm.  He lay his head on top of my shoulder and sniffled.  He stayed there for about 5 or 6 minutes before speaking again.

 

"Why did you come back for us?  You left me your pistol to protect us; why did you come back?"

 

"I had to get you out of there.  I had a very bad dream the night before and I really needed to get you out of there.  I had no right to ask you men to risk your lives for me."

 

"We are boys; not men.  What was your dream?"

 

"You are both men in my eyes, Erich.  I had a dream that someone bad found you and beat you to death.  I felt horrible; I couldn't sleep afterwards.  I had to get you out; make you go home where you'd be safe."

 

"So why did you leave the pistol; why not just take us home the first time you were there?"

 

"I thought if I left you the pistol that you'd be OK; that you'd be safer.  When I went to Wolfy after I left you, he pleaded with me to go back and take you home; so I did."

 

He was quiet for a few moments.  "Wolfy said he loved you; and you told him the same.  You love each other?"

 

I flushed red.  "I can't lie to you, Erich; we do.  I hope that doesn't change how you feel about us."

 

He thought for a few more seconds before responding.  "It changes nothing.  I love Sasha too; and he loves me.  We have been best friends our whole lives; it's OK to love your friends."

 

I smile at him.  "It is indeed, Erich.  Wolfy is my best friend; but we are more." 

 

I was nervous about admitting this to him.  I could have just left it alone; let him think we were nothing more than best friends.

 

He paused again before speaking.  "You mean you love each other like a mother and father…  You are lovers…."

 

"We are, Erich.  I hope that doesn't offend you."

 

"No.  It's nice, actually.  I sometimes think it would be nice to have a man for a lover; they are easier to understand.  Women are sometimes confusing; they don't think rationally all of the time.  And with your best friend it would be even better; you already know each other."

 

"It is good, Erich.  Wolfy has become my best friend and we have a lot of fun together; we just fell in love after awhile.  Do you have these kinds of feelings for Sasha?"

 

"I love him very much; but I don't think of him sexually.  I have kissed him a couple of times.  He turned bright red and we laughed.  But I don't think I'm that way.  I like the looks of girls; their tits and pretty smiles.  They just seem silly sometimes."

 

I chuckle.  "That's OK too, Erich.  I hope you find a nice girl someday and fall in love with her.  If it is OK with Sasha, it's OK to love him, and even kiss him sometimes.  It doesn't mean you're going to become lovers.  You are life-long friends who love each other; sometimes you just need to show him how much."

 

"So you and Wolfy have sex with each other?"

 

"We haven't really yet; it's difficult to find the time and be alone around here."

 

"He doesn't share your bed?"

 

I grin.  "Not until today.  I moved him in here when he brought me home from the doctor's."

 

"You have kissed him?"

 

I smile.  "Yes.  He is a great kisser."

 

"I'm sorry, Willy; this is none of my business.  I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be.  You're my friend, and you're curious about my life.  I'm flattered."

 

"OK.  So, does he stick his tongue in your mouth?"

 

I smirk.  "He does; he loves to do that."

 

"I've heard of it.  I always thought it would be kind of gross having someone's tongue in your mouth.  Does it feel good?"

 

"It feels great.  It makes it so much more personal."

 

"And you touch and hold each other?"

 

"We do; as often as we can.  I am happiest when I am near him."

 

"The others aren't offended by this?"

 

"Jan was at first, but he's over it.  He says he understands better now.  Peter and Hage are comfortable with us."

 

"That's good.  I would not like to be living with men who hated what I was doing.  Are you and Wolfy going to stay lovers when the war is over?"

 

"I hope with all of my heart that we do."

 

"I hope you do, too.  You should always have your best friend by your side."

 

"Yes, you should.  I hope you and Sasha have each other forever; even after you're both married and have families."

 

"We will; we already promised.  Where is Wolfy now; why did he leave you alone?"

 

"He had to go to the market for more food; and he is finding Gregor."

 

"I hope he doesn't bring Gregor here; I'm afraid of seeing him.  Maybe I should go now."  He pulls away from me.  I look up at him.

 

"No, Erich.  Don't leave yet.  He will probably not bring Gregor here; he doesn't really like him that well.  Besides, you are my friend and I want you here.  You are far more important to me than Gregor."

 

"Why did you call me, 'held'?  I'm not; I was only trying to make him stop shooting you."

 

"You saved my life, Erich.  You are, and always will be my hero."

 

He flushed crimson.  "I am no hero; I was protecting my friend."

 

"That is what makes a hero, Erich.  You don't have to be on a battlefield to be a hero.  Saving any life; protecting anyone from harm, makes a man a hero."

 

He looked skeptical but didn't argue with me about it.  I remembered Jakob's money.

 

"Erich, I want to give you and Sasha something.  I pulled you off duty and you are no longer being paid.  I have some money from a suspect who is no longer in need of it; it is yours and Sasha's."

 

"I don't want money, Willy; you are my friend.  You don't pay friends."

 

"I'm not paying you because you saved my life, Erich.  I am paying you what I would have paid you if I'd let you keep spying for me.  It is only money that I already owe you.  I was going to give it to you anyway, before things went bad."

 

"Aren't you supposed to return the money to those he took it from?"

 

"He did not take it; he was paid for blowing things up.  I want it to go to someone who actually deserves to have the money."

 

"Where is he now?"

 

I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him.  I owed him the truth; no matter what.  "He is dead now, Erich.  He was tried for treason and shot by firing squad in Berlin."

 

"What is treason?"

 

"It is selling out your own country.  Taking money to bring harm to your country or to sell its secrets to others is wrong; and it is called treasonous when you do so.  He accepted money to blow things up, to bring harm to you and your family, friends and neighbors."

 

"So someone paid him to hurt us?  He wasn't doing this because he thought the war was wrong or something?"

 

"He was only doing it for money.  That's the worst kind of treachery; to hurt your own countrymen simply for money."

 

"Then he got what he deserved, didn't he?"

 

Yes he did, Erich.  And now you get what you deserve, for your hard work helping me. Some good will come from his treachery and dishonor."

 

He thought about it for a few moments.  "OK.  Thank you, Willy."

 

"You're very welcome, Erich.  Now go over to my desk and open the bottom right-hand drawer.  You will see a small, black, leather case; take it and share the contents with Sasha."

 

He walked over to the desk and pulled the case out of the drawer.  After closing the drawer he brought the case over to me, holding it out to me.  I shook my head no.

 

"It is yours now, Erich; keep the case, too."

 

He brought the case in and opened it up; his eyes grew huge.

 

"My God!  How much is in here, Willy?"

 

"I'm not exact; but I think around 2200 marks."

 

"I can't accept this much money, Willy; it is far too much for what Sasha and I did spying for you."

 

"It is not even enough, if you do the math.  I was paying you 20 marks a day to spy for me.  That is only 50 days for each of you.  Take the money, Erich; you were going to end up with all of it anyway."

 

He looked shocked.  I was sure that to a 14 year old, 2200 marks was a lifetime fortune.  I was wondering if he'd have time to spend it all; it may become worthless if we lose the war.

 

"My God!  I could buy an automobile with this much money, Willy.  What am I going to do with it?"

 

"Whatever you want.  Don't buy an automobile; I will leave you ours when we get transferred out of here.  You can have it; you and Sasha.  Buy whatever you want though.  You will discover that money doesn't go as far as you think it will; but I want you to enjoy it."

 

"You can't just leave me the Opel; it's yours."  He got a very worried look on his face.  "You're being transferred away?"

 

"No.  I'm just saying when we do.  I have no idea how long we will be here.  I would assume until we find everyone involved in the sabotage and selling of secrets."

 

He exhales and relaxes a little.  "That's good; I don't want you to leave.  I like all of you and do not want to be without you here."

 

"We all like you too, Erich; you and Sasha.  You are both our friends, and we will miss you terribly.  But let's not think of good-bye's now.  We will just enjoy the time left to us."

 

He smiled.  "Yes.  Would you excuse me, please, Willy?"

 

"Of course.  You need to use the bathroom; it's right around the corner?"

 

He snorted.  "No, I need to go tell Sasha about this."  He held up the case.

 

I laughed.  "Of course; go.  Please don't leave without saying good-bye; I'll be right here, unfortunately."

 

"I would never leave without saying good-bye, Willy.  I'll be right back."

 

He ran out of the room.  I smiled to myself, knowing I'd finally done something to make up, even just a little, for all the wrong I've done in my life.  I had caused men unspeakable pain in the performance of my duties; and would probably do so again.  So this one act of kindness will rub some salve on the wounds.  In less than a minute I heard a shout from down below; it was Sasha's voice.

 

"MY GOD!!!  All of this!?"

 

I did't hear the rest of the conversation, but I could still smile thinking about the look on his face.  Sasha hsf always been the money-man between them.  I assumed his eyes were like stars bursting; seeing all of that cash before them.  Within seconds I heard feet pounding up the stairs and then running down the hall.  He burst into my room, breathless.

 

"Willy, you can't do this!"

 

"I can do whatever I want; I'm a grown man."  I smiled at him.

 

He shook his head.  "This is too much.  It's incredible, but still too much."

 

"You're the money wizard; do the math.  I was paying you both 20 marks every night; that only comes to 50 nights for each of you."

 

He stopped and thought about it.  After a few seconds of calculations, he grinned at me.  I laughed.  "OK. Since you put it that way, I accept.  Thank you, Willy!"

 

"You're welcome.  Just how much is in there; I wasn't sure?"

 

"I don't know; I haven't counted it."

 

I laughed.  "I thought you were able to count money just by running your thumb over the bills."

 

He laughed.  "I lose track with amounts this large.  Give me a minute."

 

He ran his thumb over the bills.  We both laughed.  He then pulled the wad of cash out and started counting.  It only took him about a minute and he had the total.  His eyes were big again and he was grinning from ear to ear.  I laughed again.

 

"My God; there's 2,375 Reichsmarks in here!"

 

"Good.  So you get 1,187.50 and so does Erich.  You should be able to buy whatever you want with that much money."

 

"How did you come up with that so fast?"

 

I grinned.  "I like money, too; so I always paid close attention when learning the basics of mathematics.  I guess I should've paid closer attention when they were trying to teach me algebra; I could help Erich."

 

He laughed.  "That's OK, Willy; Jan is helping him a lot.  He's doing much better with it now."

 

"Good.  I'm glad.  So did Peter let you talk to anyone on the radio?"

 

"He said he couldn't let me; that you wouldn't allow it."

 

I thought about it for a second.  "Go tell him I said it was OK.  You can talk to one of our listening posts."

 

His smile was just huge then.  He yelled out thanks and took off, running down the hall, yelling Peter's name.  I laughed again.  I thought he was only hitting every other step on the way down the stairs.  In seconds, I heard Peter yelling up the stairs.  I told him it would be OK; to let him talk to one of our listening posts; just try to make it someone low in rank.  I heard him laugh.  I'd nodded off again when Erich returns to my room.  I saw Wolfy standing in the doorway, and wondered how long I'd been asleep.  It was really starting to annoy me; I was losing hours a day out of my life.  Erich was back in his original position.

 

"I came to say good-bye, Willy.  Wolfy is having Jan take us home."

 

"What time is it?"

 

He lifted my arm up and looked at my watch.  Wolfy smirked from the doorway.

 

"It's 4:40"

 

"I passed out again; I'm sorry, Erich."

 

"That's OK, Willy; I wanted you to rest and get better.  I'll come back tomorrow and check on you, if that's all right."

 

I smiled at him.  "Of course it is, Erich.  I want to see you as often as you'll come.  I hope you have a good night.  Eat a good dinner and mind your parents, OK?"

 

He grinned.  "I will.  Thank you again."  He paused, looking really worried.  He finally spit it out.  "I love you."

 

My heart melted.  I gave him a huge smile.  "I love you, too, Erich.  Be well and be safe."

 

He hugged my good side and stepped away, walking toward Wolfy.  Wolfy shook his hand and stood aside, letting him leave the room.  Wolfy turned back to me, smiling.

 

"I'm jealous.  You lit up more when he said it than you do when I say it."

 

I chuckled.  "I'm sorry, bärchen….  I was just very pleasantly shocked."

 

"I'm just teasing you…  You made yourself a life-long friend in him.  And it's not because of the money, either.  Sasha's much more excited about that; Erich's just very worried about you."

 

"I know.  I tried to convince him I'd be OK, but I guess it didn't work.  I worry about him, too; what he's trying to process and deal with about killing Haidenger."

 

"He has you to help him with it; he'll be fine.  Do you need anything?"

 

I grinned.  "I need a lot, especially from you; but what I'd like now is information."

 

He laughed.  "That was the last thing I thought you'd say…  What would you like to know, liebe?"  He walked over to the bed, coming around to my side; my good side.

 

"I'd like to know if you found someone to process the film.  I'd like to know if you found Gregor.  I'd like to know if you got some food.  I'd like to know if Herr Reinhard let you bring Hage home.  I'd like to know if you saw Gertrud and how much you bought from her.  I'd like to know when dinner is ready, and I'd like to know why you love me."

 

He laughed.  "For a drugged man you sure want a lot.  I'll start with the easiest one first.  I love you because I do.  Because you're warm, loving, sexy, smart, arrogant, funny as hell, make me melt when you kiss me, hold me like you'll never let me go, make me smile by just coming into the room, and you love me in return."

 

I smiled at him.  "Good answer.  Warm and loving?  I've been called a lot of things, but never those two."

 

"You are to me, and that's all that matters to me.  Hage is downstairs; I had to pay 10 marks and promise to bring him again to get him back."  We both laughed.  "The roll of film is with the chemist.  I got plenty of food, and even took some to that dickhead; and yes I found him.  I only bought half of Gertrud's stock, and dinner is in an hour or so."

 

I laughed.  "Only half, huh; did she have other customers?"

 

"Yes, dammit; I felt guilty cleaning her out.  And no, I didn't flirt with her; I left that to 'Alexander….'."  We both laughed.

 

"I love it!  Don't say a word to him, but I'm going to get him."

 

He laughed out loud.  "Alexander….."  We both started laughing.

 

"What are my lazy men preparing their commander for dinner?"

 

He smirked and laughed.  "Peter's having pork, potatoes, cheese and bread."  We both lost it and started laughing.

 

I gave him an evil grin.  "I'll remember that.  See if you get any more sloppy blowjobs."

 

He laughed more.  "Hey, I'm just telling you the truth; don't shoot the messenger."

 

I smiled at him.  "I would never hold out on you, bärchen; I love it more than you do."

 

"Let's just say we both love it.  Do you need to go to the bathroom; or is there anything I can get for you?"

 

"No.  I'm fine, Wolfy.  I went and took a piss after the beer hit.  I don't want any more of those damn pills; they put me out.  I keep losing hours at a time, and I don't like it."

 

"You got up and went to the bathroom by yourself?"

 

"Yes, mother; I did.  I know you're worried, but I can at least stand and piss without help, Wolfy.  Besides, Jan walked up the stairs as I was coming out of the bathroom and helped me back in bed."


"Good for him.  You need to let us help you, Willy.  Don't be so damn stubborn."

 

"Wolfy, I have full use of my legs and right arm and hand; I can walk to the bathroom and hold my cock."

 

He grinned.  "But I like holding it."

 

I smirked.  "I know; I love you holding it, too.  But seriously; I can do simple things for myself.  Please don't treat me like an invalid, it makes me feel bad; feel helpless."

 

"OK.  I'm sorry.  Would you be happier if you were downstairs; around us and not held up in this room?"

 

I smiled.  "I would love it!  I think that's part of the problem.  I feel like I'm in a hospital bed; staring at the walls and wondering when someone's going to come in.  I knew I fell in love with a smart man.  Put me on the couch in the front room."

 

He grinned.  "Your wish, is my command.  Let me go throw some bedding on the couch and I will come back and get you."

 

"Sounds good; I'll be right here."

 

He smirked.  I gave him a look.  He smiled and bent down and kissed me, then ran out of the room.  Within 10 minutes I was on the couch in the front room, listening to them all talk and prepare dinner for us.  I was happier.  I was feeling left out upstairs.  I got a lot of drive-by visitors then, all making sure I was OK and asking if I needed something.  I finally convinced them that I was still a grown man and could tell them when I needed something, but, 'Please, keep dropping by to say hi.'  We had a nice dinner together; I insisted on sitting with them at the table.  We caught up with each other and what our plans were for the operation.  After dinner I was put back on the couch and they all went out front, usually out back, to have their after dinner smoke.  I was informed that even if I hadn't quit again, I was not allowed.  We spent the evening together, talking and laughing.  I got my zinger in at Hage, telling him, 'Oh, Alexander, thank you' in a high-pitched, sweet voice when he brought me a beer.  They all burst up as he turned bright red, shaking his head.  That is my third beer for the day; I was starting to wonder if Wolfy was behind that so he could hold my dick while I pissed.  Every time he's helped me to the bathroom, he would stand right behind me, pressing into me, reaching around, and I could feel his hard cock poking me in the ass.

 

I'd thought about that several times.  I would've loved to have had him fuck me; to feel him in me.  I'd looked at that fat cock of his and wondered if I could handle it.  I had a little trouble getting it down my throat, but I was willing to try.  That would be our ultimate act of love; to share myself with him, totally; to make us complete.  I knew there ass no way in hell I could convince him to do it with me laid up; he was terrified of hurting me, so I would just have to wait some more.  If that son-of-a-bitch Haidenger weren't already dead; I'd shoot him myself.  Even from the grave, he was giving me a hard time.

 

A little after 11 I was being hauled back upstairs to be put back in bed.  I was on my feet, with Wolfy beside me, walking to our bedroom.  He'd only put me in pants to take me downstairs, so he undid them while I was still standing and let them drop to the floor.  Once he had me sitting on the bed he squatted down and pulled them off my legs, tossing them onto his side of the bed, and then brought my ankles up.  I jerked them out of his grasp.

 

"Wolfy; please!  I can lift my legs up."

 

He backed off, looking chastised.  "I'm sorry."

 

"No, I'm sorry, for snapping at you.  I just don't like being treated like an invalid; it makes me feel like less than a man."

 

"OK.  I won't do it again.  You tell me when you need help with something and I will do it."

 

I smile at him.  "Thank you.  Again, I'm sorry I snapped; please forgive me."

 

"You're already forgiven.  Now get into bed while I go take a piss."

 

The beer had been working and the urge hit me yet again.  I'd just pissed not 30 minutes before.  I looked at him sheepishly.  "Uh, I need to piss, too.  Do you mind if I go first?"

 

He grinned at me.  "How about we go together; and I'll let you do it on your own.  I'll just stand next to you and piss at the same time."

 

I gave him a lewd grin.  "That sounds fun."

 

"Pervert.  Let's go."

 

We got our bladders taken care of and were finally in bed.  The lights were off and he was lying on his right side, looking at me.  I couldn't see him, but I can feel his eyes on me.  He had his left arm lying over my stomach, his fingers gently running circles on my side.  I so wanted to turn on my side, turn to him, but he wouldn't allow it.  I gave an exasperated sigh.

 

"What's wrong…?"

 

"Arrrggghhhh.  I hate this; I hate being laid up.  I hate not being able to be in your arms.  I've waited months for this; for us to be just where we are right now, and I can't even hold you in my arms."

"I'm sorry, schnuckelchen (baby).  We will get to do all the things we've wanted; it will just be a longer wait now.  Don't fret; it will happen."

 

"I'm not talking about sex; I'm talking about just being able to lie on my side and hold you in my arms; like we did that first night in this bed."

 

He sighed.  "I know…  I don't know what we can do, though.  I would love to hold you, but I don't want you to hurt your shoulder."

 

"I'd thought of trading sides with you.  I could lie on my good shoulder; but I still wouldn't be able to hold you with my left arm; it hurts too damn much.  Dammit to hell!"

 

He was quiet for few moments.  "I have an idea.  We will trade sides, but you don't have to get on your side.  Lie on your back and I will lye over your right side.  You can hold me with your right arm, my head on your chest.  Will that work?"

 

I grinned in the darkness.  "I love you!"

 

He giggled.  "I love you, too.  You want me to just drag your ass over here; or get up and come around?"

 

"Drag my ass, baby."  He giggles again.

 

After getting me over to the other side, and getting back in bed; he was exactly the way he said he would be; on top of me.  I was a very happy man.

 

He kissed my chest.  "How's this?"

 

"Wonderful."

 

"Yes, it is.  I'm glad we got that sorted out."

 

I giggled.  "Me, too." 

 

I was sure Peter had heard everything, but I didn't care, even though we were whispering then.  I leaned my head forward and kissed the top of his head.  He kissed my chest again.

 

"I love you, Willy."

 

"I love you.  I have one more request; if you would, please?"

 

"Anything."

 

"Lift your head up and kiss me."

 

He lifted his head up and planted his mouth over mine, slipping his tongue in.  I just automatically opened my mouth to allow him access.  We kissed and made out for a few minutes.  We were both rock hard by the time he pulled his head up; I couldn feel him pressing into my thigh.  I wanted him.  I want him so badly.  It was worth a shot.

 

"I want you, bärchen; I need to feel you."

 

"I'm right here, baby.  I'm lying on top of you."

 

"That's not what I meant.  I need to feel you inside of me; please."

 

"No.  I cannot hurt you.  I'm so sorry, baby; but no.  Not now."

 

I sighed.  "I know…  I'm sorry; I was just getting really turned on, and I wanted to feel you inside me.  We still haven't had the chance to do it; and I want to, so badly."

 

"So do I, baby; I do.  But not now…."

 

"I know.  I had to try…."

 

He smiles into my chest.  "Try again in a few days; I'll let you know."

 

"OK.  I love you.  Sweet dreams, bärchen."

 

"I love you.  Goodnight, Willy."

To be continued...

Posted: 12/07/12