Regrets and Heartaches

By: J.P.G.
(© 2010-2013 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 36

As the alarm sounded, Joey and Caleb came to life at the same time. Neither wanted to wake up just yet, but it was Joey who hit the snooze button since the alarm was on his nightstand. They had an emotional drained day before and neither had a restful night’s sleep. So they wanted to try and steal a couple more minutes of sleep before having to get up and start a day that they knew was going to be continuation of the day before. Joey’s mother and uncle are now out of his life and more than likely planning a way to get back into it, and both of them knew that.

However as fate will have it, Joey and Caleb only got a couple more minutes of sleep after Joey had hit the snooze button. Fran was banging down their door trying to get them out of bed. It took a couple minutes of Fran knocking, or should it be said banging on the door to finally get Joey to crawl out and answer the door, which he soon regretted. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about mom?” Fran yelled as she stormed past her brother. “I had to hear it from the security you got me, but not from you, that mom and our idiot uncle are out. What you were too busy with Caleb to spend a couple of minutes with me to tell me that mom is not only back, but will more than likely come after us?” Fran turned and made eye contact with her brother for the first time. “Why Joey? You should been the one to tell me, or Helen or Harold, but not complete strangers that I never met until they showed up with their guns scaring me to death.”

Joey could see the fear in his sister’s face. She wasn’t as angry like she was trying to present to him by storming into his penthouse and yelling. She was scared and had the right to be. No one took the time to sit down with her and explain to her what was going on with their mother and uncle. All she got was several armed guards popping up on her and informing her that they were going to be her shadow for a while. If the shoe was on the other foot he would be hurt as well.

“Fran I was wrong and I’m really sorry!” Joey walked over to his little sister. “I should have looked for you at school after getting the news myself about Mom and Uncle Dominic and taken you home. Instead I came here and started working on making sure none of us would get hurt again by them. I thought that was the first things that needed to be done, but now I see I was wrong on that. You and only you should have been the first thing on my mind after getting the news about Mom and our uncle getting out of jail.”

The more Joey talked, the more Fran settled down. After almost ten minutes of back and forth, Fran settled down enough to let Joey wrap his arms around her and pull her into a hug. They held the hug for several minutes before breaking it. No one talked right away after that, and when the silence was broken it was small talk that led right back to the conversation that started it all.

“It’s just… Joey I would like it if you would have given me some input on getting security around me or not.” Fran looked over at the door. “Those guys are with me all the time. I don’t have a moment’s peace and I know what I went through yesterday isn’t nothing. Marie has told me almost every time we hang out on how much she hates her security and follows it up with horror stories.”

“I know having a few people following you around is cramping your style, but please Fran can you do it for me? Do it so I don’t worry about you now that mom and Uncle Dominic are out there?” Fran didn’t respond. She just kept looking down at the floor. “I hope and pray that they have learned their lesson and have changed, but we can’t take that chance until we are certain of it. Until then can you deal with the security, please!” Joey pleaded with Fran.

“Alright I will deal with them until we are certain that mom and Uncle Dominic are not going to hurt us in any way…” Fran spoke in a high pitch voice as she got up from the couch. “And not a minute longer. Once you find out that mom and Dominic are not out there plotting against us you need to pull those guys off of me so I can have a regular life.”

Reluctantly Joey agreed with Fran. “But if through our investigation we find out they are plotting, as you say, against us, you need to accept it and stop complaining about the security.” Fran stared back at her brother with a blank look on her face. “Come on sis I promised to take them off if we find out that nothing is going to happen. You need to promise me not only that you will accept the security without any more complaining, but won’t try to ditch them or give them problems.”

The two walked to the door as Joey pleaded with his sister to promise him and when they reached the front door to the penthouse he still didn’t get an answer. He wasn’t about to let her leave without her promising.

Finally after a few minutes of dead silence standing at the door Fran promised her brother and walked out. As soon as she walked into the hallway, she was greeted by her security detail. She shot them dirty looks the minute she saw them, but didn’t say a word as they made their way to the other Helen and Harold’s penthouse.

Back in Joey’s penthouse, he fell back onto the couch drained already and the day has really not started yet. He hasn’t showered or got dressed yet and if what just happened was any indication on how his day is going to be, and it’s going to be a bad one. Coming to terms with that, he pumped himself up to accept the day as it comes as he got up and made his way to rejoin Caleb.

Meanwhile a few floors down, Garratt was already up and dressed ready to start the day. He was eager to see Ray. The day before their run into each other in the hallway didn’t go too well and he feared that he might have messed things up with him. Because of not knowing where everything stood, his mind got the best of him since he got back to the hotel yesterday. No matter how much he tried to see Ray, he couldn’t get near him.

Which brings him to the problem he is trying to figure out at that moment in his room. Nothing has changed from last night till this morning on getting close to Ray. When he and the others on his floor are let out to go down and have breakfast, Ray and the others will have already eaten and more than likely left the restaurant. The only thing that keeps popping up in his mind that brings him comfort is Ray waiting for him like he did the day before.

However that might not happen. All afternoon the day before, all night and now this morning all Garratt could think of is that he screwed up with Ray and he won’t be waiting for him when he goes down for breakfast. He allowed his temper to get the best of him. Something he has been working on and knows could be a turn off with Ray due to what he has been through already in his life, but he couldn’t help himself. Never in his life has he backed down and he was not about to do it when his manhood was being called into question by a couple of idiots.

Due to being lost in his thoughts Garratt didn’t hear Bobby and Bill walk in. It wasn’t until Bobby put his hands on Garratt’s shoulders and started shaking him, scaring the living day lights out of him, that he realized he wasn’t alone. Once he peeled himself off the walls and stopped shaking, he went after Bobby who was laughing as he was being chased around the room.

“Okay I give!” Bobby said out of breath as he knelt down with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. “But I will have my revenge on you for what you just did.” He pointed at Bobby as he chuckled. “You could have given me a heart attack by sneaking up on me like that. In future you need to give me some kind of warning that you’re behind me.”

“Where is the fun in that?” Bobby spoke as he breathed heavily. “If I want to scare the shit out of you like I did just now, I wouldn’t warn you. I would do what I just did and sneak up behind you to have my fun.” Bobby walked over to the door, slapping Garrett on the butt on the way. “I think we’ll go ahead and give you a few minutes to change your underwear.”

Garratt tried to look behind him to see what Bobby was talking about, but didn’t see what Bobby was talking about. “You asshole!” Garratt yelled at Bobby as he grabbed his backpack. “I fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Well done, but better not get used to it. I’m not on top of my game this morning so get them in while you can. Once I get my bearings you won’t be able to pull any of the shit you’re pulling right now.”

“Yeah sure! You mustn’t have been on top of your game for weeks because I’ve been pulling this shit on you for a while now and you’ve been falling for it each time.” Bobby laughed as he punched Bill on the arm. “So when you’re back on top of your game please let me know so I know I’m dealing with someone worth my time. I don’t like going after someone that isn’t anywhere near my level of practical joke playing I’ve been doing lately to you.”

“Yeah, yeah enjoy it while it lasts because I will be having the last laugh!” Trying to hide his frustration, Garratt laughed along with Bobby and Bill. “Ever since Judge Evans almost sent our asses back up I haven’t been thinking straight. Then yesterday I go off and do what I did and almost get my ass sent back in. Anyone in my shoes wouldn’t be all there.” Garratt stopped laughing and looked over at Bobby and Bill with a serious look, “I still don’t know why I’m still here. I really thought I was going to be sent back to jail yesterday, but nothing happened. Who knows I might get off the elevator right now and several pigs will be waiting for me to take me back.”

“Stop saying that shit because it won’t happen.” Bobby snapped back. “Principal Michaels has our backs. He not only over turned that asshole assistant principal’s decision to expel you. He called over here and talked with Sally. Nothing is going to happen to you on what you did yesterday. Just keep your ass out of trouble for now on, okay bud?” With a big grin across his face, Garratt nodded his head. “Now let’s stop talking about that shit and talk about how you’re going to get your guy.”

Garratt and Bill were both stunned that statement came from Bobby’s mouth. A once highly placed individual in one of the largest gangs in El Paso. A gang that looks upon those that are gay lower than scum and should be rid of as quickly as possible. A gang that doesn’t take any departure from their goals lightly and he is living proof of that. His way out of that very gang he held so dear to his heart was almost death by an assault on him that left him unable to have children.

“Um, yeah, I, um, really don’t know what to do?” Garratt tried to get his words to come out as he thought them, but as they reached his lips they were all scrambled up. “I never went after a guy I like. Women is another story, but guys is a different story all together. I mean I had all the confidence in the world whenever I set my eyes on a girl I wanted and got her. But now that I’m ready to be me and love who I really want to love I find it very difficult.”

“Look I’m not like you neither is Bill here, but I really don’t see a difference between trying to score a date with a girl than a guy. In fact I think it would be easier to score a date with a guy because being one you would know what we want to hear. Plus we’re all horny son-of-a-bitches and the only thing on our mind right now is getting laid. Use that in your fucking favor man!”

At the same time Bill and Garrett cracked up laughing. Bobby was right as far as always being horny and that wasn’t what they thought was funny, or not the whole reason. It was the way he said it and his facial expression when he said it. Another set of words and statements they didn’t expect to hear come out of the mouth of this guy.

Once they settled down, Garratt was able to respond. “You’re right man it should be a lot easier to get the guy I want, but for some reason I’m finding if difficult. I’m making mistakes that I never made when I went after a girl. I’m doing things and not doing things that I shouldn’t and should. And on top of all that I want to be with Ray and it looks like he wants to be with me, but I’m afraid to. At least at school that is.”

“Fuck all those guys at school that can’t accept who you and Ray are!” Bobby punched his right hand into his left palm. “If they dare step up to you like they did yesterday I’m going to take their asses down. When I get done with them they won’t know themselves which sex they are more so which sex they love. And it will send a message to all the other asses to keep their fucking backwards thinking thoughts to themselves if they don’t want the same thing happening to them.”

For the third time in less than five minutes Bobby knocked Garratt off of his feet by not only what he said, his reaction to what they are talking about, but his facial expressions. The facial expressions tell Garratt that everything his friend is saying he means. He’s had friends in the past tell him what they think he wants to hear, but their body language told Garratt they didn’t mean a word they said. Not Bobby! His body language goes along with what he is saying, which Garratt loves and is trusting more and more each time they talk.

“No, no don’t do anything like that because I don’t want you to have the day I had yesterday or even the night I had.” Garratt smiled at his friend that is becoming his best friend. “I need to learn to control my anger and not pay attention to those fuckers that say shitty things about me. I know who I am and I’m getting happy with who I am. That’s all that matters.”

Just as Garratt got out the last word the elevator door opened. The three guys stepped off the elevator and started their way to the restaurant. Every step they took Garratt was looking for Ray, but he was nowhere to be seen. As they reached the doors to the restaurant Garratt’s heart started to sink and when they walked in and there was no Ray, his heart completely sank. Both Billy and Bobby noticed the quick change in their friend, but it was Bill who spoke first.

“Him not being here doesn’t mean a thing! All it means is that they finished breakfast and got out faster than normal.” Bill turned and gave his order to Marco before continuing. “And when you see him at school and he walks up to you as if nothing happened yesterday, you are going to feel like a fool. So get your breakfast, sit down and eat with us as we make fun of the kids at school. No negative thoughts or I’ll start making fun of you.”

Bobby agreed with Bill as they made their way to their normal table. Not wanting those two to turn their attention to him, Garratt put a smile on his face. Not once through breakfast did he show what he was truly feeling. No matter how much of what Bill said made sense, Garratt couldn’t stop thinking that he might have screwed things up between him and the guy he wants at his side.

Meanwhile on the other side of the hotel Joey was looking for Alex. He ran into Matt on the elevator and was told that Alex had made his way to the office they have been using since he came back from the hospital. However, he didn’t find Alex in the office and just as he was about to give up and head to school, Alex rolled out of the restroom.

“Hey can I speak with you for a minute!” Joey asked as he turned back and started walking towards Alex. “I promise you it won’t be anything bad.” Alex didn’t care what Joey wanted to speak with him about. He just didn’t feel like getting into anything with him on his last day at the hotel. Reluctantly he said yes as he rolled his wheelchair into the temporary office he was using.

“I know we have had our differences and somewhat settled them, but since this will probably be the last time I will get a chance to get you alone and speak to you, I want to clear the air. I want to make sure before you leave that there is no bad blood between us. Not just because of our friendship with Jacob, but because I would like to consider you as a friend.”

Not knowing how to respond to what Joey had just said, Alex just sat there nodding his head. He thought the last time they talked they had settled things that were between them. They didn’t walk away from that conversation best of friends, but he felt things were settled. However, here is Joey, a guy that has shown nothing but disgust towards him since he walked into the hotel, now wanting to bury the hatchet and somehow become friends when it is all said and done.

“Because Jacob is the thread that ties us together…” Joey felt weird with the silence that was between him and Alex. He was getting a weird feeling that Alex was weighing whether or not to get into this conversation or yell and ask him to get out. He didn’t want the latter so he decided to try and somehow kick start the conversation. “We need to come to terms that we are going to be in each other lives as long as we have Jacob in our lives, who I hope is in mine forever.”

That grabbed Alex’s attention. Not just the words, but the way the words came out. There was no doubt by the way Joey said what he just said that he still loves the man he left for another life. Another life no matter how he tries to spin it shouldn’t have happened. They were in a relationship that looked to everyone that knew them was going to survive the test of time.

“You already know why I really didn’t welcome you when I first came back and then when you and the others moved into the hotel.” Joey took a deep breath. He knew he was going into dangerous waters and had to word things just right. “I’m happy that you were able to leave that life behind, but that life isn’t leaving you behind. No matter how hard you try to put it behind you, it keeps catching up. And if you need any proof of that just look at what went on yesterday.” Joey could see what he just said hit a nerve by the way Alex looked at him. “I’m sorry it may not be any of my business, but that trouble is at the footsteps of this hotel, which makes it my business.”

“First let me start off by saying you are right on most of what you have said so far. The only thing that ties us together is Jacob and as we discussed before that reason alone we need to find a way to deal with each other. But that doesn’t mean that you can nosy around in my business. My business is just that, MINE! No one has the right to get involved in it and that….”

“Hold on for just a minute Alex, please!” Joey interrupted, raising his hands up as if he was trying to stop traffic. “I’m not trying to get into your business. If that is what you got out of what I have said so far that’s just wrong and I think you would know that if you think about it. All I was trying to say with what is happening in your life right now is that it swallows up everyone around you. You don’t mean for that to happen, but it does.

You and Matt are trying to make a life, build a business and get an education that you probably thought wasn’t possible for you to have just a couple of years ago. But that past life keeps popping up and screwing with you and all those around you. Eventually it will end up at Jacob’s feet and don’t you think he has been through a lot already in his life between the shootings, the illnesses and everything between those two things. That is the main reason I can’t see that you have changed because your past life keeps coming back and each time that it does it has casualties. I don’t want to be one of those or anyone I care deeply about and that includes everyone in this hotel.”

“Except me right?” Alex barked back. “You don’t care if I get hurt or killed, as long as everyone else in this hotel doesn’t end up….” Joey interrupted. “You have me all wrong Alex. I have come to care about you, believe it or not. Not just because Jacob has grown to trust you like a brother, take you into his family like a brother and love you as a brother. In the short time you guys have been here I have seen how protective you are of him and everyone from Jacob’s house. There isn’t a doubt in my mind if I was still with Jacob I would have grown to love you like Jacob has a lot sooner than I have. So no you’re included in what I said in not wanting those I care about not to get hurt by your old life sneaking up on you or anything else that can hurt us.”

Even though Joey made complete sense, Alex didn’t want to agree with him, but reluctantly he did. Not verbally, but in his mind he did. His past has come back to haunt him as he feared, but it has dragged in others that he loves and cares deeply about. The latest victims were his brothers and cousins. And now seeing that he has come to a realization that no matter what he does he will never be able to keep those close to him from his past.

“Everything you have said here is true, but I still feel you are over stepping the mark.” Alex was still trying to save face. “As of today I will no longer be living in this hotel so any problem that might arise from my past will not affect you directly. Because of that you have no right to stand here and lecture me on my past. And even if we were not moving out, you have no right to lecture me on my past.”

“Hold on, this conversation is going in a direction I didn’t want it to go.” Joey stepped back from Alex a couple of steps. “You’re right I should have never gone there and for that I’m sorry. Seriously I am!” By Alex’s facial expression Joey could tell he wasn’t gaining any traction with his apologies. If he had a chance to get this conversation on the track he meant it to be on he is going to have to change the subject and quickly or he will lose Alex.

“Look I went somewhere I shouldn’t have. All I wanted to do here today is talk with you before you left and see if we can actually come out of this with some kind of friendship. I know a lot of this animosity between us is because of my refusal to believe that you can change and it is obvious to everyone you have. I need to acknowledge that to myself, which I have and I’m now standing before you admitting it to you now.”

The change in Alex’s body language told Joey that he was getting through to the guy. “You grew up in a different world than Jacob and I.” Joey started walking back towards Alex. “I really think if you grew up in the world that we did we probably would have been best friends since the beginning of high school at least, not enemies.”

“Your right we probably would have been friends if I wasn’t part of the gang I was in and tried to kill Jacob. But that is how it was and now things are different. I’m no longer that person and yes my past will pop up here and there, but as time goes by I hope my past will be able to stay where it belongs, in the past. Which I really think it will once all this crap dealing with Ashton is settled and the leadership vacuum I left behind gets settled.”

Since Joey has never had to deal with the stuff Alex has to, he really couldn’t understand where he was coming from. He tried, but in the end if a person has never walked in the shoes of a person that he or she is trying to understand, they will never understand that person. That is exactly where Alex is right now. He doesn’t understand why things that are happening in his formal life as a gang member are now coming back and hurting those that he cares deeply about.

“We’re going to be together in a small area for the next week.” Alex continued. “But at the same time it’s going to be away from here. I think once we are away from this place and you get to see the true me, you will see why Jacob has not only given me a second chance, but why we became close friends. I truly believe once we come back from the trip we’ll be on our way to becoming friends. Something we can’t do with a simple five minute talk here.”

Joey looked down at his watch and realized he had to get going if he was going to make it to school for his second breakfast. “You’re right and I’m really looking forward to this coming week.” Joey extended his hand and Alex accepted it. “I promise you I won’t go into this blind. I will go in with an open mind and as you just said when we return we’ll be on our way to a friendship.”

With that both of them bid each other good day. Joey left and met Caleb out in the parking lot at their SUV. They jumped in and talked about everything else under the stars except where he was and what he was doing for those ten or so minutes. Caleb wanted to know, but respected his boyfriend and figured that if he needed to know Joey would tell him.

Nothing much happened in the cafeteria as they ate their second breakfast for the day. It wasn’t until Joey stepped into the JROTC building when the carpet was ripped from beneath him. Everything was going normal when he arrived. He joined Sergeant Haney in the Armory to take inventory before going to the officer’s office outside Colonel Pigeon and Haney’s office.

At that point is where things went awry. Colonel Pigeon wasn’t alone in the office. The door wasn’t completely closed so Joey was able to see that the Colonel was with DAI, Colonel May. Someone that seems to be spending a lot more time here at the first battalion than he has in the past, which has gotten all those that has noticed it very worried. In their minds the only reason for the DAI camping out in their SAI’S office was because he is about to make another huge change either in the main staff, Haney or Pigeon, or the program all together.

Before Joey could snap out of his thoughts of what he has heard from the others, the door to Colonel Pigeon’s office opened and he was asked to step in. Joey did as he was asked and followed him into his office. Once in, his mind went wild as to why he was called in. Normally Jacob was the one that dealt with these meetings, not him.

“Mr. Alvarez thank you for joining us.” Colonel May smiled at Joey as he extended his hand. “I know you have a lot of work to do on your last day before Spring Break so I won’t take much of your time.” Joey nervously nodded his head as he waited for one of the Colonel’s to give him permission to sit. Once Colonel May gave that permission, he quickly did in order to hide that his legs were shaking. “The matter before us is very small, but needs to be handled.

We already spoke to you about how things are going to be handled in the next school year. Did you understand everything that we went over?” Joey quickly answered yes. “Good! Well, this meeting is about the last meeting we had. You and Jacob are going to be given a chance to become part of the Brigade board. This is the first time in our Brigade history that one school is going to have two Cadet Colonel’s going for the highest position the Brigade can offer. Because of that we have been getting a lot of complaints about that, which I have been ignoring.

With that said, I want to make something clear here and now which may seem unfair, but really isn’t.” Joey stopped shaking and was able to relax a little in his seat. “For almost the last year and half to two I have been keeping an eye on this school. Mainly Jacob. He has come up with some great ideas that eventually got put into place Brigade wide, most of these ideas he came up with before he became an officer in the Brigade.

The reason I’m telling you what you probably already know is because I want you to have some kind of background on why I feel the way I do about Jacob.” Joey nodded his head. “I want to see him as Brigade Commander next year because I know he can do a lot more for this Brigade in that position than he has done already in the positions he has held so far.” Joey looked at the Colonel with a confused look on his face.

“That doesn’t mean the position is going to be handed to him. No he is going to have to go through the process like every cadet has had to since this Brigade was established. I don’t see him failing in that process. Because of that I do see him as the Brigade Commander next year and you in one of the other full cadet Colonel positions on Brigade staff.”

Joey wasn’t getting what Colonel May was hinting at. He thought that the colonel had already made up his mind and was going to do whatever it took to get Jacob in the Brigade Commander position, but he was wrong. Colonel May was trying to get through to Joey that the two of them are the strongest of those going up for Brigade the coming year. The other Battalions have already put in their promotions or indicated on who they wanted in their Battalion Commander spots the coming year, which none of which were strong candidates for Brigade Staff.

“Well sir, um, really anything could happen between now and the start of next year when the Brigade promotion board is held.” Joey spoke for the first time. “I mean as you know Jacob won student council president and he might realize that he won’t be able to give both positions the attention they deserve. So in return he will have to give one up, which might be Brigade since he hasn’t gotten it yet and student council president he has.”

Colonel May leaned back in his seat as he looked over at Colonel Pigeon. “That is a concern I had and have already spoken with Mr. Hernandez about. He has promised me that even though he has won the student council president he is not going to give up on us here. I related that back to Colonel May, which put both of us at ease. Mr. Hernandez is still looking forward to having his chance in front of the Brigade Board and hopefully getting the Brigade Commander.”

Joey was lost. He had no idea why they were talking to him at this point besides to let him know that if he gets Brigade that he will be playing second fiddle once again to Jacob. “I really don’t think you guys are going to allow both me and Jacob onto Brigade staff. Not two of us who are the same. If you get my drift?” The two Colonels had no idea what Joey meant. “Almost one hundred percent of the time those on Brigade staff get into a Military School like West Point, NIMMI or and SROTC program in a well known college. Since Jacob and I are who we are we will never be accepted into one of those programs. So in return you can’t waste two positions next year on two cadets that will not be able to take advantage of them.”

Finally with Joey’s more detailed explanation, Colonel May and Colonel Pigeon understood what he meant. Due to them both being gay and open about it the armed forces will not accept them. In return, none of the higher programs like SROTC or a military college won’t accept them either. And he was right that they pride themselves on getting their Brigade staff into a good military program.

Colonel Pigeon agreed with Joey to a point. Being that they are both gay, they shouldn’t waste two positions on them, but if they both pass the Brigade promotion board he doesn’t see why they shouldn’t get the positions since they have earned them. Colonel May on the other hand doesn’t think the way Colonel Pigeon thinks. He hates how the military is set up and feels that they are losing great men like Joey and Jacob due to their policies. He doesn’t care if he has them both on Brigade Staff next year as long as they both earn the promotion.

“I understand where you are coming from Mr. Alvarez, but don’t you worry about that. You just worry about studying up for Brigade so you are ready next year.” Colonel May looked over at Colonel Pigeon and then back over at Joey. “The main reason I wanted to speak with you is to let you know that Brigade is yours and Jacob’s to lose next year. I want to see both of you boys on Brigade staff, so please don’t get over confident or stupid about the whole thing. Don’t think about things that aren’t your problem to resolve. Just do what you have been doing and Brigade is yours.”

Still Joey had no idea why he was called in by Colonels May and Pigeon. It seems they had forgotten that they had already spoken with him on what they are going over at that time. The only difference this time versus the last time they spoke about the promotion board was their assurances that both he and Jacob were going to make Brigade next year. Just as Joey was settling in thinking the meeting was going to be a rerun, Colonel Pigeon threw him a curve ball.

“Before we let you go Mr. Alvarez I need you to do me a favor.” Colonel Pigeon walked around the desk and sat down on the edge closes to Joey. “Since you have a good relationship with Jacob I need you to help us keep him thinking straight come next year. He will need our help to keep his priorities right. This program and his position in it must come first before anything else he takes on like student council president next year.”

“Sir, with all due respect there is no doubt in my mind Jacob will not need our help in that matter. He has kept this program as one of his top priorities since he joined it his freshmen year. Even though he is going to take on another position next year, he will always think of this program first because this is where he feels at home. Unlike student council where he had to fight to get it and almost had it stolen from him that he hasn’t had to do that here.”

Little did Joey know Jacob had things taken from him because of who he is and what he has done in his life. Just that year he wasn’t allowed to go to state with the teams because he wasn’t part of one of the teams that was going, but yet other cadets that weren’t part of the teams were allowed to go. The excuse given on that was that they were part of the JROTC newsletter, which that excuse was quickly dismissed because Jacob was the editor of the newsletter.

“Mr. Alvarez, you have misunderstood what I was saying!” Colonel Pigeon stood up. “I agree with you on Mr. Hernandez’s devotion to this program, but he has never held two offices at the same time like he will be doing next year. On top of that, he is running a company that is quickly becoming one of the largest in this state, if not in the country. With those two and this program demanding his time, we need him to keep putting this program first before any other program he takes on.”

Wanting to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, Joey agreed with Colonel Pigeon, which seemed to do the trick. Once he gave up trying to make it clear that Jacob wouldn’t do what Colonel Pigeon feared he might do, the Colonel had nothing more to say on the subject. Joey promised to help keep Jacob on the right track next year, Colonel Pigeon accepted it and excused him to leave. Once out of the office, he left the building so he wouldn’t be called back in.

Meanwhile across campus Bobby and the gang were heading down Schuster Ave. to the Seven Elven when Bobby spotted a car creeping up on them. In his days in the gang he learnt to be very observant of his surroundings and more so whenever he is walking on a city street. Almost three blocks from the school and the seven elven he noticed the same car three times, but that wasn’t the only thing that grabbed his attention about the car.

The amount of people in the car and the ages of those people raised flags for Bobby. The way those sitting by the windows would look out as they passed told Bobby something was up. The speed in which the car was going each time it did pass them. And finally the kind of car it was. A car that only a member of a gang would have, not an ordinary citizen.

When Bobby noticed the car the third time he got close to the other guys to try and protect them, but he quickly realized the only way he could protect them is by getting them off the street. No wanting to scare them, he playfully taunted them into a race, which they fell for. They raced one another to the Seven Elven to see who would get there first, which Bill won. Once at the store, Bobby ushered them in, but stayed outside to see if the car would drive by or worse park.

The worse outcome he thought would happen, happened. The car not only came around the fourth time, but it pulled into the Seven Elven and parked. At first none of the guys got out of the car. They just sat there looking directly at Bobby talking to each other. Finally after a couple of minutes of the standoff, the doors of the car opened and one by one the guys stepped out.

Once everyone on the car got out, they walked over to Bobby not saying a word. When they got toe to toe with Bobby one of them broke the silence. “If we aren’t mistaken you are Bobby De Polo a member of Alex Garcia’s old crew!” Bobby didn’t answer. He stood there not showing any fear or breaking eye contact with the one speaking. “Yes, I know we are right.” The guy started to walk around Bobby as if he was measuring him up. “You know Alex and his little whipping boy Carlos might be out of the gang, but you aren’t. The moment you were breathing in free air you needed to seek us out and report to us so we could assign you something to do.”

Bobby laughed making the already tense situation even tenser. “The moment that you guys ordered the hit on me and it was carried out, I was ousted from the gang!” Bobby spoke with no fear in his voice even though he was outnumbered. “The decision was made that I was no longer part of the gang that I once devoted my life to and those I trusted jumped me and took something I will never be able to get back no matter how much I try.” Bobby placed his right hand on his dick. “So this bullshit you are spilling is just that, bullshit.”

That didn’t sit well at all to the guys that were standing before Bobby and Bobby could see it didn’t by their body language. They all got tense, ready to throw down. Each of them rolled their hands into a fist, but didn’t move them from their mid-section. Their facial expressions went serious as if you trying to send a message to him that he messed with the wrong people. And if all that wasn’t bad enough, they all took several steps forward to close the gap between them and Bobby.

Garratt saw what was going on outside in front of the store when he walked up to pay for the candy bar and fountain drink he got. Yelling at the others, they walked out to back up Bobby, but that didn’t seem to scare off the guys that looked like were trying to pick a fight. In fact, it did the opposite of what Garratt and the guys wanted it to do. They took a stance that only meant only one thing. They were ready and willing to fight, unlike Garratt and the others.

“Hold on for just a fucking minute!” The guy that has been doing all the speaking raised his hands as he found himself in the middle of two sides ready to go at it. After making sure no one was making a move on his side, he turned his attention to Bobby. “I came here to talk with you, not fight with you. So can we go off over there…” The guy pointed to the corner of the building. “And talk one on one! I’m unarmed and as I said not here to fight with you or anyone for that matter.”

The guy opened up his jacket so Bobby and the others could see he had no gun or any other weapon hidden. Once they got a good look, the guy turned around slowly showing his sides and back to Bobby. There was no weapon to be seen, which put Bobby and the others at ease. Once the guy made a complete circle twice, he put his shirt and jacket down.

“Now that you see that I don’t have a weapon, can we talk?” Bobby nodded. “Good!” The guy turned and looked at his guys who hadn’t moved an inch since Garratt and the others walked out. “You guys stay here and relax assholes! We aren’t here to fight and you dumb asses know that. So relax and go and have a fucking hotdog or something.”

Not waiting to see if his guys listened, the guy turned to walk with Bobby to the far right hand corner of the store. Once there, the guy didn’t waste any time. “What I have heard from those that know you, you got a raw deal. Alex came in and didn’t bother to listen to anyone else once he had his mind made up about you. He ordered the hit on you while you were in county and as you said it was carried out. But you were wrong when you said your friends turned on you. They did what they were told by then our leader, but hated doing so.”

“Look I don’t give a shit about the past and anyone’s fucking feelings. They carried out a punishment in my opinion was too much and they had fun doing so.” The guy tried to interrupt, but Bobby wouldn’t let him. “And don’t you fucking stand there and tell me that I’m wrong on that because your ass wasn’t there when it was carried out. You didn’t see their faces or hear what they were saying. Yes Alex gave the order, but he didn’t order my so called friends to enjoy it and say the shit they were saying. So don’t fucking go there.”

“Okay, your right. I wasn’t there when the order was carried out, so I can’t speak on what the hell happened that day. But I can say the order was given without it being cleared by the higher ups. As you know as well as I do an order like that can’t be given a green light without the higher ups giving the okay. I don’t know why Alex did so without clearing it, maybe because of what position his father held, but he did and nothing happened to him.”

“That is neither here and or there anymore, it fuckin happened already!” Bobby snapped back. “I don’t give a shit now or would have given a shit then that Alex didn’t get clearance for the order because there was nothing I could do about it then or now. It was carried out and as I said those that carried it out enjoyed it in my opinion way too much.”

“I know you care! If you didn’t you would have walked away from this conversation a few minutes ago.” The guy leaned his back against the wall. “I know you care because of that I’m going to give you a chance to get your pay back on Alex. “Alex and you still live in the same hotel, don’t you?”

Bobby looked at the guy as if he was out of his mind. He didn’t want any pay back for something that has already happened and nothing he does now can bring back what he lost. Furthermore he knows whatever the guy has in mind to ask him to do can’t be good. Not just because of the last question he asked, but the tone and his facial expression he had when he asked the question.

Hesitantly Bobby said yes. “Good our request will be easy then for you to carry out and when it’s all said and done you will have your revenge.” He stood up straight and turned to face Bobby so what he was about to say wouldn’t be misunderstood. “Your gang is turning to you to help them out on getting rid of one of the thorns in its side. We want you to kill Alex for us!”

Bobby’s couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He heard there has been a lot of changes in the leadership positions here in El Paso and up in the head positions, but he never thought a green light would be given to take Alex out. Not with his grandfather taking over for his father. Blood should always be thicker than anything out there, but Bobby sees now in Alex’s family that saying isn’t true. The gang and its needs is put above everything, and that includes family.

“Since you are locked up in a cushy halfway house, we can’t help you as far as a weapon is concerned. You will have to get your hands on one yourself, but we don’t see you having a problem with that.” Bobby looked at the guy as if he was out of his mind. “Come on we have heard that you guys are allowed to do your community service hours in the kitchen. There alone are a variety of weapons you can get this job done. So don’t give me that look!”

“First even if I was willing to take this on, I wouldn’t be able to.” Bobby straightened himself up so he could sell to the guy he wasn’t afraid of him. “Yes we are assigned to the kitchen of the hotel to do our community service hours, but we’re not only watched by several guards, but there are cameras everywhere. On top of that, we are searched when we leave the kitchen before we are allowed to go up to our rooms.

And second of all, I’m no longer part of this gang.” Bobby pointed back and forth from the guy and his crew. “No matter if Alex got the okay or not, the order was carried out and when it was all done I was thrown out of the gang. You know as well as I do an order like this can only be carried out in two ways. Either by a member of the gang, or a member of another gang. I’m neither!”

“No you’re neither, but you are our best shot on getting it done.” The guy shot a look at Bobby that was supposed to intimidate him, but it didn’t. “And since the order that was given by Alex wasn’t approved by the higher ups, you aren’t out of the gang. In fact you have the right to get justice for the wrong that was done to you that day and that justice is the order I’m giving you to carry out: Kill Alex, so get it done and do it soon.”

The guy didn’t wait for a response from Bobby. He turned and walked back towards his guys who were standing by his car eating hotdogs and chips. Bobby just stood there in disbelief looking on as his former gang members got into the car they drove up in and pulled away. He didn’t move an inch until the Garratt and the others walked up, and even then it took a few minutes before he snapped out of it, but at that point Garratt and a couple of the other guys knew something was up.

Back at the stadium at El Paso High School, Ray couldn’t believe he couldn’t get away to go and find Garratt. The only thing on his mind at that moment was Garratt. All he wanted was to be around him. Hear his voice. Feel his warm breath on his neck, and his warm embrace as they held hands. And mostly touch his lips with his and never break the kiss again.

However that wasn’t going to happen. The guys either found out where he went the day before or didn’t want him to have anything to do with a guy like Garratt, or they were in a talkative mood. Leaving him no other choice than to pay attention and be part of the conversation he doesn’t want to be part of.

Whenever he thought the guys weren’t paying attention to him, he would look around hoping to see Garratt somewhere around him. If he couldn’t get to him, he at least wanted to steal a glance of him whenever he could, but that was not to be. However, that wasn’t a big surprise to Ray since Garratt and his group of friends rarely hang out before school or lunch at the stadium. They have their hang out place somewhere else on campus and he doesn’t have the slightest idea where.

As the minutes clicked away and the closer it came for first period to start, the more anxious Ray got. He kept looking down at his watch and more and more around the stadium. It got to the point the others noticed and called him on it, but he didn’t answer them. He didn’t care what they thought or said. All he cared and wanted at that point was to at least get a glance at Garratt before first period started. It has been almost a day since he has seen the guy he is falling in love with more and more as each day passes. Something he never thought would happen in his life.

Ray had hoped to see Garratt like the day before as he left the restaurant on his way out to school, but that didn’t happen. His friends wanted to get to school a little earlier than normal, so they got out a lot earlier than they normally do. Which screwed with Ray and Garratt’s accidental run in at the hotel.

“What the hell man?” Shane playfully hit Ray on the back. “You have had this lost in space look on your face all morning long since we got here. What’s the deal?” Ray didn’t respond, which was a mistake because Shane wasn’t about to drop the subject without a response. “Someone or something is up because you haven’t heard a word any of us have said and I know that to be the truth because you agreed to let me drown you.”

All the guys started to laugh except Ray. He shot Shane a dirty look before looking at the others and doing the same, but that didn’t get them to stop laughing or Shane from egging them on. Shane kept asking Ray over and over what was going on. No matter how many different ways Ray said nothing, Shane didn’t except the answer. He kept going after Ray to spill the beans on what was on his mind all morning long instead of being there with them.

Ray held his ground and didn’t answer Shane’s questions. By Ray’s refusal to answer his questions, made Shane want to get to the answer even more. Finally after the tenth or so time asking, Ray was saved by the bell. The first warning bell rang, causing everyone to make their way into the building like a herd of buffalo. Even through the hustle and bustle of trying to get to their lockers, Shane didn’t let up. Not until he had no choice in matter.

None of them had a locker next to each other, so when they reached the point in the hallway where they had to part ways, Ray couldn’t be any happier. He looked over to Shane and said one last time nothing as he smiled before turning and making his way to his locker. Once he didn’t feel Shane’s deathly stare on his back, he went back thinking about Garratt and wanting to see him.

Meanwhile down the hallway in Principal Michaels’s office Sally was patiently waiting to meet with him. When he asked to meet with her after the events of yesterday concerning Garratt the only thing she could think the meeting was about was the kids under her charge. All evening and morning the only thing Sally could think the meeting was about was that Principal Michaels was going to let her know that her kids were no longer welcome, but how wrong she was.

“Good morning Miss. Hughes! Do I have that right?” Principal Michaels greeted Sally with a smile as he walked into his office. She got up and as they walked together to his office, she asked him to call her Sally instead of Miss. Hughes. “Okay Sally it will be!” Michaels held the door to his office open to let Sally walk in. “Please take a seat and thank you for coming down. I know you are a very busy person running that beautiful center.”

“No thank you for having me!” Sally matched Michaels smile as she sat down. “I have been meaning to call you and set up a meeting since the boys started attending your school, but you beat me to the punch.” Sally was hiding that she was nervous and doing a good job doing so. “I know you probably got a lot of objections from your staff when they heard the kids from my center were going to be attending here, and what happened yesterday didn’t help you at all. I am sor….”

Michaels held up his hand. “There is no need to go where you are about to go because you or young Mr. Garratt didn’t do anything wrong. Yes he was a little short tempered, but show me any high student that isn’t.” Both of them laughed. “As far as having your kids coming here it wasn’t a problem since we already had a few students attending here that were just like your kids. And yes a few of the teachers did object, but those were the same ones that objected when the other kids started to attend this school. They also objected on having students like the governor’s kids and students like Joey attend this school. Every prediction they have made hasn’t come true.

So let’s not worry about things that we shouldn’t, what do you say?” Sally agreed. “Good! Now the reason I asked to speak with you is so we can make sure what almost happened yesterday doesn’t happen again. Mr. Garratt almost got the short end of the stick and if I wasn’t here to catch what was about to happen to him, he would be right now in county jail instead of getting an education like he should be. Am I right on that?”

“Yes you are, but you need to understand the strict guidelines these kids must follow. Judge Evans got this program approved because he felt a lot of the kids that are locked up were being thrown away because they weren’t given a second chance. This is their second chance. They are handpicked by Judge Evans and because of him being a new judge and pushing for this program, the kids are looked at even harder than others in other programs. If they cause a fight, get into a fight or break any other rules they must follow in the halfway house, at school or in the community, they will be revoked and sent back without hesitation. I love each and every one of them and if I ever have to push through the paperwork on a revocation, it will kill me.”

“Exactly and that’s why I asked for this meeting. Just like Judge Evans, I believe in second chances. Kids make mistakes and those mistakes shouldn’t wreck their entire lives. Some of them worse than others, but if there is an agreement the young kid deserves a second chance, give it to him. I have a school of young men and women that do stupid things every day, but that is just part of growing up. We learn from the mistakes we do.”

Sally agreed with what Michaels just said. “Now some mistakes are too out there that as a society we have no other choice than to do what we don’t want to do. I know you know what I’m talking about.” Sally nodded. “So there is no need to get into that topic and we won’t. However we will talk about the kids that are under your charge.

Young Garratt made a small mistake yesterday by letting a couple of the other kids get under his skin. All of them were in the wrong, but none of them deserved to be suspended or expelled. Now what I’m proposing for the future so the same mistake isn’t made is that I deal with all the discipline concerning your kids. I feel I have an even hand when it comes to discipline and even if I don’t deal with your kids, I have to sign off on suspensions and any students being expelled from my school. I’d rather deal with the discipline with your kids than something like what almost happened yesterday occurring again.”

Sally liked what she was hearing, but feared if they do what they are discussing Principal Michaels might be looked at in a different light by his staff. They might think that he is showing favoritism to her boys if they don’t think that already about him. Something that can take a good principal like Michaels down if his staff get together and take him on.

“I like what I’m hearing, but I have a few concerns.” Sally went into detail of her worries about putting Michaels’s plan into effect. “So as you can see you might be saving my boys, but at the same time you might be hurting yourself. So what I think we should do is keep everything as they are. Have my boys follow the same procedure and rules as the other students here do. But I will not push through any revocation paperwork on any of my boys until I hear from you. If I get a call from you telling me that one of my boys did break the rules, then and only then I will push the revocation paperwork through. Other than that, I will only talk to them when they get into trouble.”

Michaels liked Sally’s idea even more than his. It insures that the kids from her center doesn’t get revoked because of his staff going too far on disciplinary actions with them. At the same time it protects him from looking like he is showing favoritism to her kids or any other students. It is a win, win for all those involved on dealing with the kids from the center.

Since both Sally and Principal Michaels were limited on how much time they could give the topic they were talking about, they only talked on it for a few more minutes. Once they discussed and agreed on everything dealing with the kids from the center, they walked out together. On their way to the doors leading to the parking lot they made small talk. Once they got to the double doors Michaels thanked Sally for coming down and wished a good day before turning to his duties. Sally thanked him for having her before heading to her car to go back to the hotel.

The rest of the day went by without any issues and really fast for being the last day of school before Spring Beak. Garratt and Ray never were able to run into each other throughout the day. Ray thought about meeting up with Garratt like he did the day before, but decided against it for fear the events of the day before would happen again. Something he really didn’t want to happen.

As last period quickly approached, Ray’s heart sank into his stomach. Little did he know across the campus in another classroom Garratt was feeling the same way. In a little over twelve hours the guy he is falling in love with and his friends are going to be on their way to Disneyland and won’t return for a week. Which means they won’t see each other again for ten days, ten long days.

No matter how much he tried to figure out a way to see Ray one last time before he left for Spring Break, there just wasn’t a way. They both get out of school at the same time, but their lockers are on totally different sides of the building and they leave through different doors. On top of that, he has to go back with the others in the van, making it impossible to accidently run into each other.

Still Garratt wasn’t willing to give up just yet. When the final bell rang, he ran out of his classroom to his locker. Quickly he threw in the books that he didn’t need and grabbed the books that he did need before slamming his locker closed and running down the hall. As he sprinted down the halls, several teachers told him to slow down, but he ignored them. All that was on his mind was to speak with Ray one last time before Spring Break and he didn’t care if he got in trouble for running in the hallways in order to accomplish that.

However as luck would have it for Garratt and Ray, when Garratt got to Ray’s locker, Ray had already come and gone, putting Garratt into more bummer mood than he already was in. With his head down, he made his way back to the side of the building that he exited to run into Bill who was waiting for him on the other side of the double doors. As they made their way down the staircase leading to the waiting van, Bill told Garratt the lie they told the guard to explain why he wasn’t on time. Garratt repeated the lie to the guard as he climbed into the van, but didn’t say anything else.

The guard at first wasn’t sure if he was being lied to or not, but when he saw the way Garratt was acting he believed. The drive back to the hotel Garratt was in and out of the conversation that was going on around him. The little he did pick up was enough to keep him from getting lost in the conversation. However, Bill and Bobby knew better. They knew something was up and they knew what it was, but decided not to pry. They figured when their friend was ready to talk, he will.

When the pulled up to the hotel and started to get down from the van, Bobby’s mood changed when he saw Alex making his way out of the building. At that moment Garratt snapped out of his dreaming and quickly went to his friend’s side. Both he and Bill knew that the commotion earlier at lunch at the Seven Eleven had something to do with his old gang life, but what exactly they didn’t know. All they knew was that Bobby wasn’t himself after the meeting at Seven Eleven and now the way he is staring at Alex is scaring both Garratt and Bill.

To be continued...

WRITER’S CORNER:

{Welcome back one and all t another exciting chapter of ‘Regrets and Heartaches’. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and felt it was filed with enough action and drama, unlike my editor Trevor. He felt the beginning was dry and the chapter needed a little spicing up. Well I hope after the slow start he got the spice he was looking for in the chapter, LOL! What do you guys think? Do you agree with Trevor that the beginning was too dry, or did the chapter get life as it went on?

While you all think about those questions let me talk about the chapter you just read. It was a day in the lives of Joey, Caleb, Fran, Ray, Garratt, Bobby and all the other characters in this saga. A lot of action happened in each of their lives in this chapter. From love, not able to be without one another to old lives coming back to make their new life a living hell, a lot of excitement.

Fran wasn’t too happy with her brother and she made herself very clear about why. She woke up Joey and Caleb who were trying to steal a couple more minutes of sleep before having no other choice than to get up and get ready for school. The security Joey gave her was a problem, but the major problem in her eyes was that her older brother didn’t take the time to tell her what was going on with their family. She had to hear it from complete strangers. What do you guys think?

From one fight to another, Joey had an exciting morning. After getting dressed and having breakfast, Joey went looking for Alex to try and settle whatever problems they had between each other. At first it looked like they were about to get into a physical fight, but they slowly put their guards down and agreed to try and become friends. Not just for Jacob, but for themselves.

Poor Joey just didn’t have a good Friday morning. Almost as soon as he walked into the JROTC building he was blinded sided by the Colonels. After working with Sergeant Haney in the Armory, Joey headed over to do his duties as XO. Before he was able to get started, he was pulled into the office with Colonel May and Pigeon to talk about Brigade Staff. What do you guys think about that conversation? Was it right on what Colonel Pigeon asked of Joey?

On the other side of school there was Ray, Garratt and Bobby. Garratt and Ray both wanted to see each other, but it wasn’t in their cards. From Ray and his friends leaving early for school to Garratt and his group going down to the Seven Elven down the street from the school, they never got a chance to run into each other accidently. Due to their circumstances I worry these two may never get a chance to see if they can develop a relationship. What do you guys think?

Man oh man the old gang just won’t give up on trying to get to Alex. Like many of you asked after reading the last chapter of ‘Beneath the Mask’, wasn’t the green light put on hold? Either the branch of the gang in El Paso didn’t get the memo or the green light was relit. Either way the old gang has now approached Bobby to take care of Alex.

At first it looked like Bobby was holding his ground on not wanting to get involved, but at the end it looks like the old gang was able to drag him right back in. What do you guys think about all this stuff about getting to Alex? It really looks like Bobby is going to do it because of the way the chapter ended? Do you guys think he is actually going to try and kill Alex? For that answer and answers to all of your questions you might have you will need to tune in next time.

There is so much going on in this saga. I can keep writing, but I won’t. You guys are going to need to tune in to the next chapter to see what is going on. More plots are going to open and old ones will be closed. This story, like my others, will keep you on your toes. Don’t miss what is coming up in the chapters to come.

I don’t want to say too much more and spoil future chapters. I warn you though! If you skip a chapter, you will be lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jpg@tickiestories.us, Thanks! I have a home page for you to see what the characters look like or what the places look like. If you want to walk in their shoes, please go to http://jacobmillertex.com/ } 

Posted: 08/09/13