John Gets What He Needs
By: Hogan
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)
Editor: Gerry Young

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
 

Chapter 5

“At Last”

John and Evan drove down the street heading towards the apartments that Evan lived in. As they came to the entrance, Evan told John to turn into the next drive. John noticed the complex was a nice, large, three-story building with four different wings. They parked in an empty parking spot and John turned off the engine.

Evan started to say something, but John cut him off and asked, “So ... you want to show me your place so I can find it again when I come visit you?”

“Umm … sure, I guess,” Evan said, glancing at John with a look of uneasiness on his face.

“Good, 'cause it looks like a guy could get lost in this place, trying to find the right apartment.” John chuckled.

“Nah … It’s really easy, but you need a key to get in the main doors. The security is good here, even though it’s in a good neighborhood, and probably wouldn't even be needed,” Evan explained. He dug into his pockets for the keys and then unlocked the main door. They went in, with John following Evan, leading the way to his unit. He noticed the place was very nice with a large main lobby that led to an office and other rooms.

They went up the main stairs to the second floor, then to a door marked C-Wing. Evan opened the door and John followed him down the long hallway. Evan's place was the last door on the right, next to a back staircase that gave access to another parking lot from the side. They stopped in front of his door and John immediately noticed the apartment number … 204-C. It was the same room number John Doe was in at the hospital across the street. A cold chill went down his back as Evan opened the door.

They entered, and once inside, John saw that it was small, but very nice and clean. Everything seemed to be in its place and very orderly.

“How about a tour, Ev?” John smiled.

“Um … sure; it’s small and not much to see,” Evan said, looking embarrassed.

They walked through the apartment. It had a small kitchen with an open breakfast/dinning area across from the living room. There were sliding glass patio doors on the outside wall of the living room with a small balcony. Evan led him down the hall to the bathroom and two bedrooms. One appeared to be where he slept and the other was a spare, with his computer and a treadmill in it.

"Evan, this is really nice, bud; you must enjoy living here,” John remarked.

“Evan looked down and said, “Yeah, it's ok ... it’s quiet and close to everything I need. I can walk to most places.”

“I like it here, Ev; I really do; it’s a nice place. Hey, are ya hungry? Have ya eaten yet today? I know its only 10:45, but I could sure go for a burger or something; how about it, buddy; my treat?” John questioned.

“I … I … don’t know … I guess it would be ok,” Evan hesitantly agreed.

“Let's grab some burgers and shakes and go to the park and eat at one of the picnic tables; we can enjoy the nice summer day.” John smiled his best grin at him.

Evan smiled back and followed John to the door without saying a word. They left the apartment and proceeded to John's truck. John was surprised that Evan was being so normal acting; he had always been a little shy, but he really didn’t notice much difference in him than any other person. He would’ve never guessed he had any kind of mental illness, let alone, schizophrenia. He thought Evan's treatments must have been working well.

The burger joint was close by and they ordered their meals in the drive-through; then they headed towards the nearest park. At that time of day, and on a Sunday, the park wouldn’t be very crowded and would give them a chance to talk privately.

'That should make Evan feel comfortable,' John thought.

They arrived and found a spot close to some trees. There was a small creek running beside them with ducks lazily waddling around looking for free hand-outs. Seeing the ducks, Evan got a huge smile on his face, just like a kid. John would soon find out that animals were some of the few things Evan trusted unconditionally. He wasn’t shy around animals at all. He acted as if he’d known them personally and could communicate with them.

After sitting down and starting on the meals, John noticed that Evan had given more of his French fries to the ducks than he had eaten, himself. John chuckled inside, seeing that Evan was having a good time.

Well, Ev … I’m so glad we could spend some time to get to know each other again. I hate it that we lost touch like we did,” John said, looking down and fidgeting with what remained of his food.

“It's not your fault, John … I … Um … I've had some problems and haven’t been…” John quickly cut him off.

“Look, Ev … I’m going to be honest with you, ok? I don’t want to start this on a lie, or you not knowing. ... I already know you've been ill," John spurted out.

Evan looked at John with a bit of confusion and anger.

“Ev … I want you to hear me out before you say anything … ok?” John pleaded.

He just nodded his head without saying a word while looking over at the ducks.

John cleared his throat and proceeded, “ Ev … I talked to your parents last week, and they told me a lot of what's been happening with you ... but only because I asked. I've been wanting to see you for a while, now, and I couldn’t find out how to get in touch with you. I even tried looking you up in the phone book, but you weren’t listed … so ... please ... please, Evan ... don’t think I’m trying to be your friend, now, just because I know you've been dealing with this schizophrenia. YOU left me without telling me you were leaving; I had no idea you'd moved to California 'till weeks after you'd gone. I missed you really bad, man … I was even mad at you for a while, for leaving like that,” John belted out as fast as he could.

Evan looked over to John with a blank stare on his face and began wringing his hands together as in a nervous tick. John could sense that he was beginning to stress-out, and continued with what he had to say, but with a softer tone.

“ Look, buddy,… I love ya, Ev … I always have … I wanna be your friend again, 'cause I miss you. I can deal with you, sick or healthy … I just want a chance to be close ... like we use to be ... and I don’t think it's an accident that we found each other again … I … I … think we were really meant to cross paths again for a reason,” John said, looking into his buddy's eyes. Evan's black hair was half-covering one side of his brow as he looked back at John, with watery eyes.

“So, what ya think? Could you use a big ol' oaf for a friend?” John gave him his trademark grin.

Evan sat quiet for a few minutes, looking like he was trying to find the right words to say. “John … I’m … I’m … I mean ... I gotta tell you some…” Knowing what he was about to disclose, John cut Evan off again, in order to spare him the stress of having to say it, himself.

“You're gay … I know, Ev … and I don’t care, man … I still love ya, guy … you should've told me a lonnnnng time ago, you asshole.” John smiled at Evan.

Evan had a shocked look on his face, then began to smile, with an awareness and a realization that he'd thought he'd never have, tears slowly beginning to run down his cheeks. John hesitantly held his hands out toward Evan ... without touching him ... and gently laid his forearms and hands, palms up, on top of the picnic table. Evan just looked at him ...and then at his hands ... and back into John's eyes. Slowly, cautiously, he reached out ... then, trustingly, placed both his hands onto John’s. Immediately, they began to feel the warmth radiating from each other's palms. After a moment, John also began to feel Evan's hands pressing down harder onto his own ... and after yet another still moment, they squeezed ... and then squeezed harder still ... as if each were clinging to dear life, itself. By then, tears were streaming down both their faces as they continued to hold onto each other and to look directly into each other's eyes. No words were spoken, just comforting hands, soothing each other ... until Evan could get control of himself, and was ready to talk.

Hesitantly, he said, “I know I should’ve told you, John; I just couldn’t face it then. I thought you’d hate me. I thought you’d be mad 'cause of all the times we slept in the same bed and … well … when we would…” John cut him off again.

“... When we would cuddle, and I held you when you were having bad dreams?” John questioned

“Umm, yeah … I thought ... because of us doing that ... that you’d be pissed when you found out I was gay,” Evan confided, pulling his hands back and looking down at what was left of his food.

“Hey, buddy; let me tell ya that I enjoyed the closeness we had; I wanted to protect you from whatever was bothering your sleep, and I don’t regret it one bit,” John revealed.

“I was worried that you might think I'd taken advantage of the situation; those were the only times I really ever felt safe ... when you were holding me tight, calming me down,” Evan admitted.

“No worries, little buddy; I’d do it again in a split-second ... if you needed me to,” John grinned at him.

Evan smiled back at that and looked more relaxed. He wasn’t wringing his hands any longer, and it looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

They continued talking about what they'd each been up to, lately. John told him all about his life in the Air Force, his divorce, Jacob, his job, and the house he was remodeling. He told Evan he’d have to come by and see it sometime, soon. Maybe, even, he could help him do some remodeling. Evan was happy to hear that; like John, he had been a novice carpenter when he grew up, helping his dad with several different projects.

Evan didn’t reveal much more than what John already had learned from his parents, and John wasn’t going to push him on details; he’d let Evan tell him, when he felt up to it. It was still early, and it would take time, John thought, for Evan to open up to him. He could sense that there was a lot he wasn’t saying. He'd skip around a lot. Evan acted guarded and seemed to be thinking, first, about what he would say next. John knew Evan well enough to know that he was holding a lot back. There must have been things he didn’t want to discuss ... or was embarrassed about.

He did say he was happy with the treatment he was on, and was doing better than ever since he first got sick. He admitted, though, that he did still have a few bad days here and there, when he didn’t feel well. He also admitted that the side effects from some of the medications he was taking, made it difficult on him sometimes, but he didn’t go into details.

They sat, talking ... and occasionally holding hands again ... for almost an hour. John was surprised at how well Evan was doing … he guessed he had just expected a lot worse and had braced himself for it, but Evan looked good, 'Oh, yeah!' He was more talkative than either his parents or Chris had said he would be. John was hoping that was a good sign that Evan wanted to be his friend, also.

They both started feeding the ducks what leftovers they had. As they threw scraps out, the ducks swarmed them, and one jumped up onto the bench next to Evan. He began feeding it by hand. The duck gently took every morsel Evan fed to him. After all the food was gone, he patted the duck on the head and bent down as the duck nibbled on his cheek, as if giving him a kiss, then fluttered down onto the ground with the others. John couldn’t get over the way Evan interacted with the ducks. He was truly happy around animals. He remembered Louis telling him that his dog, Tyler, loved Evan, and would follow him all over the yard when he was there.

John realized the connection after he thought about why that might be. Animals didn’t make judgments, like people did; they always gave their complete attention and acceptance. For Evan, this was comfortable to him; he was safe from hurt when it came to animals. John wondered why Evan didn’t have a pet at his apartment; 'Maybe they aren’t allowed to have animals there,' he thought.

After the ducks ravaged all the food, John and Evan decided it was time to go. Evan said he had to get home and take his noon meds, and he tried not to be late if he could avoid it. He added he should’ve brought them with him, but that he wasn’t sure how he’d explain them to John.

John drove back to Evan’s complex and walked him back to unit number 204-C. John again remembered John Doe when he saw the number on the door. He went in with Evan and they exchanged phone numbers and Email addresses, and John gave him his home address.

“Here's my address, but if you ever want to stop by, just call me, and I’ll come and get you; it’s too far to be walking, ok?” John asked.

“It's ok, John … I wouldn’t walk that far; I only walk to church for the exercise. I have a car in the parking lot. I just walk a lot around here 'cause everything's so close to the complex,” Evan explained.

“I’m sorry, Ev … I guess I just assumed you didn’t drive anymore cause of…”

Evan cut John off this time and said, “Nah … I still can drive, but only when I’m feeling good and all is ok … don’t feel bad; you didn’t know.”

John looked like he'd made a bad mistake, judging Evan 'cause of his illness, and was looking down at the ground like Evan did much of the time.

“Really, John, it's cool …you need to lighten up a bit! … I’m not glass … I’m not gonna break if you say something blonde,” Evan said, laughing. “When I’m having an off day I usually stay home and rest and get through it without much problem. I’m getting better at learning my limits and I'm starting to take better care of myself.”

John smiled back and realized he was being too overly protective. He had been bracing himself for a fragile Evan after talking to his parents and Chris.

“Sorry, man … it's just that your dad threatened me with Tyler if I ever caused you any stress,” John grinned.

“Yeah … that sounds like dad ... mom, too … always the over protective ones … but they mean well; if it weren’t for them, I'd be … well … let's just say ... I’m lucky to have them.” Evan smiled back at John.

“Look ... if you’re up to it, how about stopping by Wednesday night for dinner? I can burn ya something on the grill,” John chuckled.

“Ok, I think I can do that. Is there anything you want me to bring?” Evan enquired.

“Not really … unless there’s something special you want to drink.”

“Ok … sounds like a plan. I’ll write it down so I don’t get its messed up; my memory isn’t the greatest these days, ya know.”

“Good! How’s 6:00 p.m. sound to ya?”

“That's good.”

“Ohhhhh ... There’s one more thing I ... need ... to ask you, Ev, before I go.”

“Sure, what is it?” Evan asked, looking oddly at John.

“You think I could get a hug from you? I really missed you, Ev.”

Evan smiled and said, “Sure ... I'd like that ... a lot.”

John stepped to him and gave Evan a big embrace, squeezing him hard, almost picking him up off the ground, and held on to him for what seemed like minutes.

Evan managed to squeak out, “I can't breathe,” before John let him go, apologizing for not knowing his own size and strength.

They both laughed out loud and smiled at each other. They said their good-byes, and John left to go back to his truck.

<><><>

On his way home, John was excited and relieved it went so well. He was expecting the worse, but soon realized Evan was much better than he had thought. He pulled into his driveway, and Tom was there shooting hoops. John waved and got out of the truck.

Tom waved back and said, "Where you been? I’ve been waiting on you for thirty minutes. You're usually out of church by now; you wanna play a game or two?”

“Why? … Haven’t you had enough punishment yet? After church, I was having an early lunch with Evan at the park,” John smiled.

“So … how's he doin'?”

“He’s good, Tom; I was surprised at how well he's doing.”

“Ah … that’s good; did he mention me? … I mean, does he remember who I am?”

“No … I mean, why would he mention you?”

“Just wondering … thought you might've mentioned that you still hung out with me, from school.”

Tom thought to himself that if John ever found out about himself and Evan, he'd loose his best friend. He had to figure out a way to get to Evan and ask him to please ... not let John know what happened. Make him listen to reason. God … he’d die if anyone ever found out what he let Evan do to him. He knew John would freak, as protective as he was of Evan. 'He’d probably kick my ass,' Tom thought. He had to find a way to do some "damage control" before John found out. Surely, Evan would tell him; John already knew Evan was gay, and their agreement wouldn’t mean anything to him any more.

“No, you never came up; we're still getting to know each other for now ... we have a lot of catching up to do,” John expressed the situation.

John thought it was weird that Tom would ask such as question, but again he was weird sometimes; maybe he was just high or something.

John motioned for Tom to come into the house so he could change clothes, and then he’d play some hoops with him for a little while. He told Tom to get himself something to drink while he waited.

John returned and they went out to the driveway and played a few games. John won two games, and Tom won one. They both had had enough and decided to call it a day. Tom went back inside and John gave him a towel to wipe himself off.

“Did you see Jacob's room yet? Andy helped me with the carpet yesterday. It's all finished and waiting for my mom to decorate it.”

“Andy? That's the cop friend you have … sheriff ... right?” Tom enquired.

“Yeah, he’s a cool guy … a good carpenter, too.”

“It does look good in here … that reminds me, 'ass munch' … thanks for the handprint on my back when we painted. You ruined my shirt,” Tom scoured.

“Tom … it was a concert t-shirt from AC DC … it needed a rest, dude.” John laughed.

“Very funny; I got it online from a vintage t-shirt site, asshole,” Tom fumed. “They still ROCK, man!” Tom added.

“Sorry, dude … I couldn’t resist; you had it comin'; I’ll buy ya another one ... if you stop crying."

“Nah … that’s all right … revenge is sweeter.” Tom smiled a very devilish grin.

“Just remember ... I have a sheriff for a friend, and I’m sure a little search warrant at a particular residence would be a nice little find for the Department.” Then John grinned back, with definitely raised eyebrows.

“Ah, maaaan; that’s even low for you ... 'albino'.”

“Yeah, that one would back fire on me … it would be ME bailing your sorry ass out of jail, most likely.”

“You got that right,” Tom smiled back.

They talked for a while longer and then Tom left to go home. John found himself alone in his house again, and decided to relax for the rest of the day. He did manage, however, to get his laundry done and watch some sports on TV.

Around 10:00 p.m., he had his shower and was ready for bed, so he pulled back the sheet and crawled in, nude. He squirmed around 'till he was laying on his side, unconsciously (but gently) took hold of his penis, and his thoughts returned to Evan ... to the past, when they'd spend the night, spooned together ... sometimes he, himself, spooning Evan. He remembered when he’d have a hard-on and how it felt in his boxers, up against Evan's backside. He also recalled how sometimes, when he knew Evan was asleep, he would gently rub his hard cock against him. John realized that while he'd been thinking about the intimacies with Evan, he'd also been stroking himself into a rock-solid hard-on, and was right on the verge of cumming. He repositioned himself onto his back, threw the sheet back, and began rubbing his hands over his hairy chest while stroking his cock harder … he needed sexual release, bad, and wasn’t going to stop himself from enjoying the moment, even if he could.

John was surprised at what was happening with himself … He’d been thinking about his buddy, and stroking his hard cock at the same time … 'Shit!' … John thought, ‘I can’t be doing this. This can’t be happening; but, shit, it feels so right, and I really do want to be with Evan, spooning him, riiiiight ... NOW!’ Suddenly, John tensed up and began gushing squirts of cum onto his hairy stomach and chest … grunting loudly and panting from the intense orgasm. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, while his breathing came back down to normal. He was thinking about what had just occurred. He could feel his own cum running down the sides of his stomach, reminding him of what just happened. No longer did he need to ask himself what it meant … he knew! … He knew for sure! ... He knew he was in LOVE with Evan! … It had always been there … he just hadn’t realized it ... but it was always there. At the mere thought of his realization, he was happy ... oh, so happy ... and he grinned, no longer scared of those thoughts … no longer confused by them … he was content, and slowly drifted off to sleep.  A few hours later, he had the same dream as before, but this time, the guy in the hospital bed was not John Doe ... it was Evan ... and Tyler was beside the bed, barking. He suddenly woke up again to the sound of the neighbor’s dog barking from the back yard. He sat up and wondered what the dream meant. He thought he should mention it to Father Thomas when he would see him on Tuesday, after work. The good Father always seemed to give him a better perspective on things than he could think of, himself.

<><><>

Monday came and John’s work was uneventful. When he drove home and pulled into his drive, he noticed his mom’s car was there. She had a key to his house, as did he to hers. He knew what she would be doing; she was working on Jacobs’s room.

John went inside to find his mom in Jacobs’s room, hanging up curtains. The furniture company had delivered the bed set she'd picked out. She already had it covered with linens and a bedspread with assorted pillows.

“Hey, mom, this looks great! You sure got a lot done in one day,” John excitedly proclaimed.

“Glad you like it, son. You think Jacob will?”

“Oh, I’m sure he'll love it.” John smiled. “ I can’t thank you enough for all this, mom; it’s way too much.”

“Non-sense … It's about time I get to spoil my grandson. When he gets here, we're going clothes shopping, and I'm going to buy him a whole new wardrobe,” she proudly proclaimed.

“Ok, but you better not turn him into a spoiled brat, or you’ll be sorry when you have to sit for him.” John laughed.

“It’s a grandparent's job to spoil their grandkids; then we get to send them home and laugh … you know ... pay back for all the crap you put me through when you were growing up,” she said, laughing.

“Oh, right! Like I was a bad kid,” John retorted back.

“You had your moments ... but mostly, I'd have to say ... you ... WERE ... a good kid.” She then changed the subject and asked. ”So, how did it go with Evan on Sunday?”

“Really good, mom; he was much better than I imagined he would be. We had a good, long talk and cleared the air on some things. He’s coming over for dinner Wednesday night,” John revealed.

“That’s great, son, I’m so glad you two are back together … um ... I mean … well, you know ... friends again."

Quickly changing the subject once again, she remembered the sketch she had had framed for him. “John, go look on the kitchen table ... there’s something there I have for you.”

“Ok … what is it?”

“Well, go look for yourself,” she demanded and smiled.

John went into the kitchen to find the framed sketch Evan had drawn. It was wonderfully matted in gray and framed in black, which made the charcoal sketch look at home in its frame. He picked it up and took it back to his mom in Jacob’s room. “Wow, mom, this looks great! How much do I owe ya?”

“Not a thing, its my present to you. Besides, I told you I knew the lady that worked there, and she gave me a good deal. Where are you gonna hang it?”

“I know just the place … in my bedroom on the wall beside the door,” John proudly exclaimed.

“Sounds like a better place than the living room ... where everyone can see your butt hanging out,” laughed his mom.

John laughed and then went to get his hammer and a nail to hang "Evan's David" in its new frame. *

He returned from the garage, went to his bedroom, and hung up the nice piece of nude art. For the first time, he wasn’t embarrassed at seeing himself naked in the sketch. 'It's art,' he agreed to himself. It was Evan’s art and he was proud of it. He considered himself lucky to have such a good image of himself ... when he was younger, of course!

Later, when he'd grow to be old, he would always have this to remind him that he was once young and gorgeous. Ha ha! He wondered if Evan still was an artist and continued to sketch and paint. He’d have to remember to ask him the next time he saw him. He didn’t remember seeing any artwork hanging on the walls in Evan's apartment.

John’s mom came into his bedroom to check out the sketch. “Son, that looks great hanging there. They did do a nice job matting it, and I didn't do such a bad job in choosing the frame, either.”

“Yes it is, mom, it's beautiful; thanks again for doing this for me.”

“You're welcome, John. Evan sure is talented.”

“Yes he is. He did a good job. Though, I’m still surprised he did this from memory ... without me sitting for it.”

“I’m not … He was in love with you, John, and I’m sure he knew every inch of your body by memory, and he just used his creative imagination,” she smiled.

“Ok, Ok … let's change the subject, can we? … You finished with Jacob’s room?” John asked, still somewhat embarrassed.

“Yes, it’s all done … now, all we need is for Jacob to be home.”

“Well … mom, I didn’t mention this before, but Becky Emailed me a couple days ago, and it may look like I can get him in a couple of weeks.” John looked at his mom and smiled.

“JOHN! … Are you serious? I can’t believe it. Why is she letting you get him early?” she cross-examined.

“I guess she's met someone and thinks it would be best if Jacob didn’t get in the way, or didn't get used to someone new, and then to have to leave soon after. Well … that’s what she said, anyways. With Becky, it's actually hard to know the truth, for sure,” he explained.

“That’s wonderful news, Honey. I should kick your pretty 'artistic butt' for not letting me know when you found out,” she scolded him with a smirk, once again referring to the new piece of art on the wall.

“John blushed and added, “Cut it out, will ya? ... Well, we still need to settle on a date for me to drive down to Georgia and get him and his stuff. I also need to make sure I have that weekend scheduled off, in case something comes up. My luck, I'd be ready to leave, then get called in, 'cause another storm was coming through.”

“John … you should ask Tom to go with you so he can help drive and load Jacob's things. It’s too far for you to be driving down there by yourself, and then coming back. You’d be worn out, and it wouldn’t be safe driving like that.”

“I know, mom … I thought about Tom, or even Andy, going down with me to help. Andy’s the sheriff guy I told you about that I've become friends with,” John explained.

“Well then, taking Andy might even be a better idea than taking Tom … He might come in handy if you get pulled over for speeding,” she said, teasingly.

“Well, we would be spending a night in a hotel, on the way there. I plan on leaving after work on a Friday, and then picking Jacob up on Saturday; but I think you're right about my needing someone to go with me. With the two of us driving, we could drive straight home,” John was thinking out loud.

“Just let me know when you have all the details.”

“I will, just as soon as I know ... well ... maybe ... I’ll THINK ... about letting you know,” John smirked at his mom.

“You WILL let me know, immediately ... MISTER!” She demanded.

“Sure ... just like you told me about Evan, immediately!” John looked back at his mom and smirked again.

“John Clark … I told you I didn’t want you worrying about him with all that was going on with you. You're not going to hold that against me for ever … ARE YOU?” she scolded him.

John couldn’t hold a straight face any longer and burst out, laughing, “ Nah … I think you learned you lesson for keeping secrets from me.”

“Don’t make me stand up on a chair and smack you down, son. I WILL do it,” she laughed back, trying to look stern.

John grabbed his mom and gave her a big hug, and then they ordered a pizza and salad. This was usually the day he went to her house for a home-cooked meal, but the decorating of Jacobs’s room had changed those plans. She told John, "I'll tell your sister the good news, tomorrow," and before she left, she again reminded him to let her know the details as soon as he found out. John agreed ... with a smirk!

Then she called him a brat, and went home.

John finished the day by mowing his lawn and trimming everything. His yard was nothing really special. He had very few flowers and trees, and what was there, was planted before he bought the house. Eventually, he'd planned to do some landscaping, but that wasn't a major priority on his “to do” list. He wanted to finish remodeling the interior before he started on the exterior. He knew he had to finish replacing all the old windows before he could put new siding on the house. He figured that at his pace and limited money, it would be a year or two before that happened.

He put away the mower and trimmer, then put the bags of clippings into the garbage cans, and went inside to get cleaned up. He was sweaty and had grass all over him, and it itched. He scratched at his balls and ass. A shower was just what he needed before he could rest in the living room for a while, and then watch some TV before bed.

After showering, slipping on nothing but his bathrobe, and relaxing for an hour or so in front of the TV, he decided it was time to go to bed. He dropped his robe and slipped into bed, naked, as he always did. As he lay there, his thoughts were of Evan. He began to realize just how handsome Evan really was. His small frame was smooth and perfect, he thought.

As he was visualizing his friend naked, he began to slowly and softly rub his hairy chest, running his fingers around his nipples, moving down to his stomach and then to his cock, which was starting to harden. His thoughts about being behind Evan, spooning him, and rubbing his hard cock against Evan’s butt, made him gasp, quietly, to himself.

John then focused his thoughts toward his new friend, Andy, and tried to visualize him naked. He quickly realized that he didn’t seem to get the same feelings at all. He wasn’t getting the same response to his yearnings as he did with Evan. He wondered why, since Andy was every bit as good-looking a guy as Evan was? He tried to remember what it felt like, when Andy was sucking his hard cock that night, while he was pretending to be asleep. Still, his focus went back to Evan possibly sucking him off ... and ... that ... he enjoyed thinking about.

He tried to picture Tom, naked, and still felt nothing. How could he only feel this way for Evan, and not any other guy? Did it mean he was gay? Or just bi? Was he ... in love ... with Evan? He didn’t have the same feelings with any of the other guys ... just with ... Evan.

John continued to stroke his cock, but at a faster pace, thinking about laying on top of Evan, rubbing his hairy chest into Evan’s smooth one, kissing him passionately, with their hands interlocked, down against the bed, over their heads. Ummmmmmm. John’s moans and breathing became heavy while he long-stroked his hard cock. Precum was dripping onto his stomach with every stroke. He was getting close, and without warning, shot his load, so far that some hit him in the face and all over his upper chest. John lay there, in shock, at how hard he had cum. He had never shot onto his face before. He could taste his own cum on his lips, and for the first time, he rather liked how it tasted.

He smiled to himself, and was content on how he felt about loving Evan.

He slowly drifted off to sleep ... his cum still wet and splattered all over his hairy chest.

<><><>

Tuesday came, and John went to work as usual. He had to stop off at St. Michael’s after his shift ended, to visit with Father Thomas, as they had agreed. John needed some guidance and answers to questions that were troubling him. And since he had spoken to Father Thomas, another problem had come up -- his feelings towards Evan, and what he should do about them.

He arrived at the church and went into the sanctuary, then proceeded down a hall to where Father Thomas’ office was. He knocked on the door and heard a “Door's open” response from the other side. John went in and saw Father Thomas sitting at his desk. He got up and went to shake John’s hand.

“Good to see you, John.”

“Good to see you, too, Father Thomas,” John smiled.

“So, what’s bothering you these days, that you need me to help you sort out?”

John smiled again and said, “Right to the point I see. That’s why I like talking to you, Father; you don’t beat around the bush.”

“Well, John, I know when you want to talk, that you have something you can't seem to sort out on your own, so I’m sure you have something on your mind. Go ahead and spill it, and we'll work through it together.”

John explained the story about John Doe and how it all came about. He told him how the guy had reminded him of Evan, and the sameness of the two room numbers, possibly both Evan AND John Doe with mental illnesses, and the dogs, but that the most important thing was how it had brought him and Evan back in touch with one another, again. He told the Father how John Doe disappeared without a trace and that all his medical records were also gone. John confided to Father Thomas about his dreams he was having and how they bothered him.

The only things John did leave out, were his fantasies and thoughts about Evan. He wasn’t sure how he would approach that to Father Thomas, yet. He knew the Father didn’t have a problem with same-sex couples. He knew Father Thomas' views on loving all people, but the idea of himself being ... in love? ... with EVAN ... was still new to him; he just didn't have the guts to say it aloud, nor could he find the words to fully express it, yet.

Father Thomas listened intently, without interrupting John as he told the long story of John Doe and Evan. He stayed quiet for a moment after John had finished, and John could tell by the look on his face that he was absorbing all that he had told him.

Eventually, Father Thomas spoke and said, "John, before I tell you what I think about this, I want you to know that Evan has also had many counseling sessions with me since he's been coming here. I can’t discuss those conversations, as you well know, but I will tell you that I’m sure there is more to this that you're not telling me."

John remained quiet, squirmed a little, and let Father Thomas continue.

“Son … there are many things in this world that can’t be explained. Sometimes we just have to take the information we have and deduct what we think is the most plausible truth. It is true, that God works in mysterious ways, and His plans aren’t always realized until He wants them to be. With that said, I think your John Doe was a guide, an Angel if you will, to show you the path you need to take. Whether you take that path or not, is your choice. But sometimes in life, we need a little push in the right direction. I believe you were given a divine intervention to let you know what really matters in your life. It's obvious from what I know from Evan, and now, from what you've just shared with me, that you two needed each other to restart your friendship. I believe that you’re meant to be in each other’s lives.”

“John spoke up and asked, “Father, may I confide something to you?”

“John, you know you can.”

“I’m confused about my feelings towards Evan. I've never felt this way about another ... man ... before. It’s more than just ... friendship … it's … it's ... Love. I know what I feel ... and I know it's real ... but it scares the hel... heck ... outta me ... to think that I’m ... something ... that I didn’t think I was before.” John finished saying what he had to say, then looked down at the floor as if he were ashamed.

“This can be very confusing for a person, but you just have to go with what your heart is telling you. God is in your heart, and He won't steer you wrong, John; you just have to trust Him on that.”

“Thank you, Father; I knew you’d understand.” John looked back up at him and then gave a faint smile.

“You know, John, God speaks to many people all the time; they're sometimes just too busy, or too much in a hurry, to listen. Sometimes, He gives them billboard-sized signs, and they drive right past, not even seeing them.”

“So, are you telling me that … we, I mean Evan and I, are supposed to be together?”

“What I think is, a path, has been shown to you; what you do with that knowledge is your own choice.” John just sat there for a moment -- there was nothing else to discuss.

“As always, you've told me what I think I already knew, but I just had to hear someone else say it. Thank you for being YOU, Father,” John smiled in relief.

“You're always welcome, John, and if you two need to talk to me ... together ... you know my door is always open.”

John stood up and gave Father Thomas a big hug and thanked him for his guidance. He then left and went back to his truck and sat there for a few minutes, thinking about what he was going to do. He thought about driving right over to Evan’s apartment and telling him how he felt. But after thinking about it for a few, he realized he didn’t need to rush it. Evan would be over for dinner, the next evening, and they could talk then. He thought that if Evan were up to it, he would gently approach him and tell him how he felt.

End Chapter 5

* Note ... See Chapter One.