Impossible Love
 by: Hankster

© 2009 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 5

It stopped snowing about four o’clock in the morning.  We woke about three hours later to a bleak sky and frigid temperatures.  Mac decided to make us oatmeal for breakfast.  “This kind of weather calls for it,” he announced.  Of course, we were glued to the TV for word of the airport opening.  It was almost impossible to get through to the airlines by telephone.

After breakfast, we showered and got right back into bed.  We were all done out from constant love making, but we wrapped around each other, cuddled and fondled.  This was better than any orgasm.  This was a display of our love, an opportunity to exhibit total intimacy, and to say over and over again, “I love you.”  We squeezed our asses and crushed our limp dicks together, and once we actually got hard again, so we fucked each other.  It took each of us a long time to cum, and we liked it that way.

About two o’clock in the after noon, we heard the unmistakable sound of snow trucks doing their thing.  They cleared the parking lot all right, but buried the cars even deeper.  Mac jumped out of bed.  “Let’s go,” he said.  “It’s time to get dressed.”  I dressed in my own clothes, but Mac loaned me a parka, snow boots and gloves.  He went deep into his front hall closet and found two shovels.  He handed one to me, and off we went into the cold.  It took over an hour, but we were able to dig his car out.  He put his key in the ignition and after a few scary chokes, the engine turned over.  We sat together in the front seat and let the car run for awhile. 

“Let’s go upstairs and warm up,” Mac said.  He locked the car and we went back into his apartment.  It felt warmer and cozier than ever.  Once upstairs we turned on the TV and learned that the airport was expected to open by 8 PM.  My first attempts to reach the airline, met only repeated busy signals.  Finally at about 5 PM, I got through.  I made no attempt to get a flight for the next day, but I was able to book a late morning flight for the day after.

Once I was booked, my first call was to Tom and Dom.  “Can you make dinner tomorrow evening?” I asked.

“Of course,” Tom said.  “I’d cancel an audience with the pope to have dinner with you guys tomorrow.”  We agreed to start the evening at Stoney’s Bar, and decide from there where to go to dinner.

My next call was to Marsha.  I told her how hard it was to reach the airline, and the earliest I could get out of Buffalo was the day after tomorrow.  She was really upset and I told her how terrible I felt too.  “Can you avoid business trips to Buffalo in the winter from now on?” she asked jokingly.

I needed to call my office, but it would have to wait until the morning.  There was nothing left to do, but to cuddle up with Mac and do whatever nature had in mind for us.  After sleeping with Mac as a couple, I was scared to think about sleeping with Marsha.  Could I?

Shoveling snow had taken a toll on two old thirty-somethings, and we both fell into a deep sleep.  The incessant ringing of the telephone woke us both at about 8:30 AM.  It was Jonathan.  He said that the roads were clear enough for him to drive over, and how would we like to make him breakfast.

“Get your ass over quickly,” Mac said, “and we’ll hustle up some eggs.”

Mac and I showered together, and dressed quickly.  While Mac set the table and took out the makings of a good breakfast, I called my home office, and let them know that I would be home tomorrow, and in the office the next day.

“I’ll drive you to the hotel on my way to work tomorrow and you’ll have to take a cab to the airport,” Mac said sadly.  He came over to me and hugged me.  I buried my head in his shoulder and tried hard not to cry.

 When Jonathan arrived, it was obvious to us that he was in the mood for sex.  We let him know that we were just too sated and he would have to wait until Thanksgiving break when Jake would be glad to take care of him.  After all, Thanksgiving was only two weeks away.  Poor Jonathan was disappointed, but he understood.  Once the sexual tension was erased, we had a relaxing day together.  We talked and talked and bonded ever closer.  As the day went on, the sun began to make intermittent appearances and the temperature rose above freezing.  That didn’t do much for the mountain like snow mounds, but it helped clear the roadways even more.

Late in the afternoon, we informed Jonathan that we had plans for the evening, and we needed to dress.

“Sure,” he said.  “Wallie, have a good trip, and don’t forget to call me when you get back to Buffalo.”

“Give me the address of Jake’s deli,” I said.  One day, I’ll drop in and buy something, and meet Jake.  If I’m alone, I’ll tell him who I am and if my wife is with me, I’ll just be friendly and that will be that.”  Jonathan wrote an address down on a piece of paper. I slipped it in my wallet, and after a lengthy farewell filled with hugs and kisses, he was on his way.

Once again, I had to borrow a fresh shirt and a pair of trousers from Mac.  Just the fact that we shared our clothing made us both horny, but we decided to wait until later.  The two of us looked pretty spiffy and very handsome as we left the apartment.  I couldn’t help wonder why I ever thought that I would be happier pretending to be heterosexual.  The fact that I was going to spend the evening with my gay lover and two gay buddies, made me feel good all over.  I tried hard not to feel regret.  What’s done, was done, and I couldn’t change it, short of leaving Marsha.

For the first time, that possibility became a viable alternative in my mind.  Marsha was still young and beautiful.  She would find someone who could give her a more satisfying love life than I could.  I rationalized that she would actually be happier in the long run.  Lucky for us, we had no children.

These thoughts elated me, and I became even happier, as if that was possible.  Mac sensed how I felt.  “What???” he asked.

“Nothing,  I’m just happy.  That’s all.”  Mac was driving so I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  As we drove downtown, I couldn’t help but to be amazed at what a great job the city had done in clearing the snow off the roads.  Back in Long Island it would have taken days, but of course, Buffalo had more practice, and probably a very big snow removal budget.

Stoney’s parking lot lost several parking spaces where the snow had been piled high, but there weren’t very many people venturing out yet, especially on a week night.  We had no trouble parking.  The bar was not at all crowded, so when we came in, I immediately spotted Tom at a corner table.  He had been looking for us, and jumped up and waved. 

What happened next was something I should have expected, but I wasn’t prepared for.  Tom grabbed me in a bear hug and kissed me full on the lips.  It was less chaste a kiss than I would have thought.  His tongue parted my lips and for just a moment, our tongues kissed also.  I made no attempt to stop him.  I knew how he felt.  He was releasing all his pent up constraints and I was riding the wave with him. 

When we could finally bear to let go, we made our introductions.  Everyone embraced, sensing somehow that we were destined to be a gay family.  I was not surprised when I met Dominick.  He was exactly as I had pictured him based upon Tom’s description of him on the telephone.  Tom was about 35 years young, but Dominick was pushing sixty.  That does not mean to say that he wasn’t a formidable gentleman.  He stood six feet, three inches tall.  Through his flannel shirt I could tell that he was lean and muscular.  He had all of his hair, which was gray at the temples and black on top.  His eyes were almost black.  They were warm and sexually mesmerizing.  I liked him immediately, and I was happy for Tom.

We ordered drinks and discussed where to eat dinner.  Dominick told us that there was a wonderful Italian restaurant right around the corner that was very popular with the Italian community.  They never advertised and few people outside of that community knew about it.  We all agreed that it sounded great.  Dom pulled out his phone and called.  After a short conversation in Italian, he announced that it was a slow night and Gino was waiting for us.

We left our cars at Stoney’s and walked around the corner to Gino’s.  I had been to Italy on my honeymoon, and had loved it.  When I walked into Gino’s I was transported back to Sicily.  The place was a replica of many restaurants I had dined in when I was there.

Dom and Gino kissed European style, first one cheek and then the other.  To my surprise, they added another kiss on the lips.  Gino repeated the process with Tom, and then Dom introduced Mac and me.

“I’d like you to meet my cousin, Gino,” he said to us.  Then turning to Gino, he said, “These are our dear friends, Mac and Wallie.”  Gino kissed us both on each cheek and seated us by a working fireplace.  There was no cloak room, but we hung our outer garments on a nearby clothes tree.

Gino sent over a complimentary bottle of wine, and we toasted our new found friendship.  Dom made Mac promise to stay in touch with him and Tom when I went back to New York, and Mac was happy to say that he would.

The meal was superb and I am sure the other’s enjoyed it, but not me.  I kept thinking that my euphoria was about to come to an end.  No longer would I be cuddling up to Mac as we slept.  I didn’t even want to think about what a farce it is that I was sleeping with Marsha, but I couldn’t keep my brain clear of those thoughts.  As the meal progressed, I became more and more morose.  Mac had to have noticed because he grabbed my hand and before we even had dessert, he said,  “You know it’s been absolutely amazing meeting you guys, but this is our last night together for awhile, so please excuse us if we take off right after dessert.”

Tom must have noticed my mood change also, and he said, “Not at all, Mac.  We understand.”  Then he winked at me and said,  “I just know the Buffalo office will be needing you more and more, Wallie.  I’ll see to it.”

Mac and I had spumoni for dessert, gave Tom money for our bill, and then we said our good byes.  Lots of hugs and kisses, even from Gino, who begged us to return again soon.  We promised that we would.

Driving home, we were both very silent.  Mac broke that silence by saying, “Let’s make it a memorable night, sweetheart.” 

I smiled and said, “Yes, let’s.” 

Minutes after we got home we were naked, and stepping into the shower.  I grabbed the soap first and began to lather Mac all over.  I just kept soaking his cock over and over, and then I soaped his crack.  As I did so, one finger and then two, found themselves sliding up Dom’s ass hole.  He sighed loudly and leaned into me.  My middle finger found his prostate and his sigh became a moan.

“If you don’t stop, I’ll cum,” he said emphatically.  I kept my finger in his hole and got down on my knees.  I took his cock into my mouth and continued to play with his prostate.  Mac leaned his back against the shower wall for support.  Apparently his knees were buckling.  He came, screaming loudly.  The tile wall of the shower reverberated with his scream and made it sound even louder.  His cum filled me up and it tasted warm and comforting.  I stood up and Mac leaned against me.

He took the soap from the tray and soaped his ass until it was a willing receptacle.  At long last he turned his back to me and urged me to enter him.  I soaped my cock a little more, placed the head at his crack, and pushed in easily.  “Don’t move,” Mac begged me.  “Let me just enjoy the feel of you for a bit.”  Our intentions were good.  I held still for a long time, but little by little we started to gyrate.  I moved my cock in and out, and once again, I manipulated Mac’s prostate with my throbbing cock.

“I don’t believe it,” he moaned.  “I’m cumming again.”  Then came his blood curdling scream as he spurted against the shower wall.  As he came, his ass hole constricted, and that put me past the point of no return.  A fraction of a second later, I came up his ass.  I was bucking and screaming as loud as Mac.  We didn’t move until my cock fell out all by itself.

We washed down the shower walls and cleaned ourselves of love’s evidence.  We dried ourselves off and went to bed.  We slept wrapped together.  One moment we played with our cocks and balls.  The next moment we played with our nipples.  For hours we kissed, hugged and titillated each other, until eventually we fell asleep.  During the entire evening of love making, I didn’t think of Marsha once. 

Mac and I had agreed that when he dropped me off at the hotel, I would hustle right out of the car.  There would be no long kisses and sobby farewells.  “This is it,” I said as he pulled over in front of the hotel.  I jumped out of the car and practically ran up to my room.

As I was packing my bag, I thought of calling Tom to see if there was anything last minute at the office which would require my attention.  He sounded so glad to hear my voice.

“Just a sec,” he said.  “I want to close my door.”  After a moment, he was back on the line.  “What did you think of Dominick?” he asked me.

“He’s first rate.  You’re both lucky, and I gotta tell you, he’s very sexy.  You better watch him like a hawk.”

“Your Mac is a hunk,” he added.  “I immediately got the hots for him.  We’ll have to do a four way some day.”  I didn’t know if he was kidding or not, and I had no intention of asking.  Instead, I told him how glad I was that we had discovered the truth about each other.  We chatted briefly and as we said goodbye, I was prompted to conclude with, “I love you, Tommy.”

“Wait,” he yelled.  “Don’t hang up!  What time are you leaving for the airport?”

“In about half an hour,” I answered.

“Don’t take a cab.  I’ll shoot right over and drive you there.  I’ve got time, and Wallie, I really want to do that.  It will give me a chance to talk to you.  You may not want it, but Dom and I have some practical advice for you.”

“Sure,” I said.  “I’ll go down to the lobby and I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

As Tom drove up about twenty minutes later, he honked his horn and I ran to his car.  “Throw your stuff on the back seat,” he ordered, “and hop in.  Once inside, I put on my seat belt and settled in for the ride to the airport.

Tom wasted no time.  “Dom and I have been talking,” he began.  “It’s a crime to live your life like this.  Both Dom and I are in the closet only at work, and even that’s a fucking burden.  We can’t imagine you living every aspect of your life totally closeted.  You’ve got to be free to go places with Mac, to live with him, to double date with friends, both straight and gay, and spend happy social evenings with members of the gay community.  We could both see how agonized you were last night, and we cried for you.”

“It’s exactly as you describe it,” I said.  “But what can I do about it?”

“You know what you have to do, but it will take courage.  Be grateful you have no children.  Marsha will be better off also.  She deserves to be fucked by someone who is enjoying it, and is not pretending.  Find the courage, dear friend, and leave your marriage.  You and Mac will find happiness and so will Marsha, in time.”

“I know you’re right, Tom, but I’m scared shitless.  If I do leave her, do I tell her the real reason or make up another lie?”

“The truth is always the safest and best route to take.  I know what’s best, theoretically, but Wallie baby, I’m glad I’m not you.  At least you have three shoulders to cry on and to support you,” Tom said.

“Actually, I have two more shoulders.  Jonathan Mallory and I have become good friends.  Mac has been mentoring him in how to function as a gay man (that was vague enough) and he and his partner are another source of support.”

“That’s great,” Tom said.  We were just turning into the airport, and Tom said, “Please keep me informed of everything, no matter what you decide to do.”  He got out of the car with me and helped me get my stuff from the rear seat.  He hugged me, got back in the car and drove off.  I stood there staring after his disappearing car until I heard the curbside checker ask me if he could take my bag.

Marsha met me at LaGuardia and she kept hugging and kissing me and telling me how much she missed me.  She wasn’t making it easy for me to consider leaving her.  When we got home, she insisted that I take a nap before dinner.  I figured out quickly what that was all about.  She wanted me well rested for sex that night.

God! I thought.  Do I have anything left in me?  I really was exhausted and I took her up on her suggestion that I take a nap.  I lay down in bed, knowing full well that I would never fall asleep.  Then the thought came to me.

What if I can’t perform tonight?  What if I could never perform again? What if Marsha caught me in bed with a man?  Would she want to leave me?  The thought was far-fetched but comforting, and I actually fell asleep.

To be continued...

Posted: 05/08/09