You Ain’t Santa Claus
by: E Walk

(© 2009-2010 by the Author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 40 

The Kooks Arrive


As I was walking back to the office, Dean Meyers approached me, “Kirk, your sons and friends stood some people on their ears today.  Some of these people have been resting on their past laurels, and I haven’t been able to do anything about it, because they are tenured.  After Mr. Holloway’s disclosure that Herndon was only teaching one class, I’m guessing there are going to be some changes made around the university.”


When I arrived at my office, Sandy was laughing, “Mr. Lane is in your office and he’s walking with a cane.”


When I walked into the office, Lance and Lanny were sitting there and Lanny started to complain, “Dr. Richter, this is all your sons’ fault.  If they hadn’t ridiculed me for being such a wimp, this would never happen.  Tell the boys I’ll get even tonight while I’m working.”


“Lanny, did Lance hurt you that bad?”


“Not really, but I know I had a visitor last night.”


When I arrived at Belle Monte, I was pleased that there were no unwanted visitors in the area.  When I entered, the Dad’s, Bruce, George, Ian and Charles were sitting in the parlor, watching television.  I looked to see what they were watching and it was a show of the interview last night at Belle Monte.


Dad looked up at me, “I don’t think they cut anything from the interview.  The boys sure are articulate for being only six and eight.”


“Where are the boys, anyway?”


Dad Thornton threw up his hands, “Who knows?  As soon as we arrived back here, the seven young guys disappeared.  Ryan and Nathan were practically undressed before they got out of the car.  They sure haven’t had a hard time adjusting to life in the country.”


Dan appeared and announced, “I was told to tell you that the boys would be here as soon as they took care of the horses.”


We were just about finished eating when there was a banging on front the door.  Shane stood, “I’ll go see who’s there.  Are we expecting company?”


Everyone responded negatively.  We heard Shane yelling, “Let me go you pricks.  I’m not either Nathan or Ryan.  Get your butts out of this house.  You have no right to barge in here and tell us what to do.  This is private property, and I’ll charge against you for trespassing and invasion of privacy.”


Bruce looked at the other young guys, “Stay out of sight.  Let us grownups take care of this.  Shawn, call the Sheriff’s office and tell them we have a problem here at Belle Monte.”


The adult men followed him into the room and two men were holding a struggling Shane.  Bruce remained calm, “Gentlemen, what seems to be the problem?  Why are you restraining Shane McTavish.”


The older of the two men spouted, “We’re here to save Ryan and Nathan Holloway from this vile place by the orders of God the Almighty.”


Dad stepped forward, “Let me see if I understand what you just said.  You said that you were sent by a higher authority to take Nathan and Ryan away from this house.  Where is it that you would be wanting to take the two young boys?”


“We’re here to save their souls from the life of sin that goes on in this place.”


Dad went and stood in the man’s face.  “Let Shane go, immediately; I’ll smash your face so hard you won’t be able to eat for weeks, if you don‘t.  For your information, I’m an ordained minister, and I find it difficult to believe that any true believers would even try to do such a stunt as this.”


The two men continued to hold Shane, even though they knew that he wasn’t either Nathan or Ryan.  Dad hauled off and hit the older man dead on the nose, and he started to bleed like a stuffed pig.  Dad moved toward the other gentleman and Shane was free.


Ryan came in the door, “Dads, the Sheriffs are here.  We’re going to the little house.  What happened to the fat man.  He looks as if he’s bleeding to death.  Daddy, I think these two people were at the trials when those people tried to take us away from you.”


Deputy Lane arrived with another officer, “Good evening, Gentlemen, Ryan and Nate tell us that these two persons busted into the house and were holding Shane as hostage.  What would you like us to do with them?”  


Dad Thornton pointed, “For starters, we want them charged with trespassing and uninvited entry into the premises.  Second, they need to be charged with using undue restraints against a teenager, so he couldn’t  make them leave.  Bruce, call the press and we’ll convene a press conference at the County Detention Center, to explain what happened.  These people need to be exposed for the frauds that they are.”


Vince and Alex arrived and Alex moaned, “We know.  You want us to take the boys and feed them their bottles and change their diapers, so they’ll go to bed.”


There were two reporters at the Detention Center when we arrived with Shane.  One of them had been to Belle Monte previously.  He nodded, “I understand you had some unwanted visitors again tonight.  Do you know who they were?”


Bruce shook his head no, “They never identified who they were.  They barged into the house and were holding Shane captive, demanding that they be given custody of Nathan and Ryan Holloway, because that was what God wanted.”


The County Attorney arrived, “Why am I being called out at this hour on a Thursday night.  What’s the matter with you, Holloway, can’t you people ever make it so we poor working people can get some rest.”


“Watch it, Seymour, you don’t know how closed the purse strings are going to be drawn, when you run for reelection.”


“Bruce, you forget.  I just was elected this last year,  Now what brings you to these hallowed halls?”


Bruce explained what happened and the gentleman was livid.  “You mean to tell that they were crass enough to barge in the house and hold one of Ian’s sons hostage.  The man has got to be an idiot.  Bruce, we’ll take care of the problem.  I’ll call you when I know something.  Let us take it from here.”


As we were going back to Belle Monte, Dad commented, “We were planning on leaving tomorrow.  I need to work on a sermon for Sunday.  I guess I’ll just have to wing it on Sunday.”


After we said goodnight, Dan and I made our way up the hill in separate cars. As I was driving, I was thinking, ‘It sure would be nice if we could go some places together other than church,’


When we arrived at the little house, we heard, “Dads, what happened to the two bad men, tonight.”


Dan answered, “When we left the Detention Facility, the Sheriff and County Attorney were going to take care of the two men.  They’re going to let Uncle Bruce know more in the morning.  You boys need to go to sleep.”


Both boys called out, “Okay, Dads.”


I looked at Alex and Vince, “Guys, I’m sorry that we keep putting you in this situation.”


Vince grinned, “What are you talking about?  It gives us a chance to look over our future competition at the Nuggets except we're contemplating retiring and demanding a raise for having to watch the two brats all the time.  Dr. Richter and Doctor Thornton, you have no idea how much we enjoy being around Nathan and Ryan.  You probably won’t believe us, but Shane, Shawn, Chase and Evan have changed tremendously since your two sons have been here.  We didn’t know Jacob before, but he fits right into the mold that your two sons are casting.  We need to get back to Homebase because we have a busy day tomorrow.”


Dan and I were awakened by Ryan and Nathan.  Ryan started on us, “Dads, if anything bad happens to us today, can we go away until people forget about us?”


I hugged Ryan, “I need to go to work and so does Dad Dan.  If we move, someone would find us and besides, who would take care of Hodge, Podge, Snitch, Snatch, Roly and Poly?”


“I guess you’re right Daddy, but I just don’t want people to always be trying to take us away.”


The day was going fine and nothing strange happened that I knew about, until I arrived home.  There was a group of protesters walking in front of the house.  They were carrying signs, Save the AnimalsStop Eating Living Things and You People are Cannibals.


The seven young guys were standing on the porch, Nate frowned, “We don’t understand why these people are here.  Why are they parading in front of the house?  They just got here and started shouting ‘Pagans, Pagans.’”


We were joined by the rest of the adults, and the leader of the group yelled, “What live animal are you eating tonight?”


Nathan yelled back, “We aren’t eating any live animals.  We only eat animals that have already died.”


Another person yelled how can eat something that was ever alive.  They had to suffer pain when they were killed.”


Shawn asked, “If you don’t eat meat, what do you eat?”


“We’re vegans.  We eat only vegetables.”


Shane started to laugh, “Why don’t you get busy and eat the grass so we don’t have to mow it.  Make sure you get all of the weeds.”


“How dare you talk to us like that, you punk?”


Jacob went and stood in front of the leader, “We can talk like that, because you’re on private property.  If you eat only vegetables, how can you say you never eat living things.  Anything that grows is alive.  I suppose you’re going to start eating the tree over there, even though it’s alive.”


“Look, you piss ant. We only eat things that are organically grown.”


Shane stood in the man’s face, “So, you’re saying that organically grown food wasn’t alive when it was grown.  Did you put it into machine and  make copies of it on paper, so you can eat the paper?  If so, then you were eating part of a tree that once was alive.”


Unbeknownst to the picketers, two Sheriff’s cars arrived.  I didn’t know the two officers.   The leader of the picketers was getting ready to swing at Shane.


Shane dared him, “Go ahead and hit me, and we’ll be charging you with assault and battery in addition to trespassing on private property.  Vince, did you get everything that happened on your tape?”




Nathan giggle, “Good, call the television station and talk to that nice man who was here the other day and tell him that these people are so stupid that they don’t understand that everything they eat was once alive, unless they eat stones and dirt and even they were probably alive at one time.  Officers, please arrest these people.”


When the protesters saw the deputy sheriffs, they tried to get away, but the sheriffs restrained four of them but the leader and several others jumped into a car.  It backed out and screamed away.


We watched as the car hightailed it down the highway and the two sheriff’s cruisers pulled away.


Ryan put his finger to his mouth motioning for us to be quiet.  “Dad, I hear someone crying.  We’re all okay, so it can’t be any of us.”


Dan arrived as this was happening and asked, “What’s happening?  I just met two Sheriff’s cruisers and was passed by a car going like a bat out of hell.  Where is Vince going?”


Nate put his finger to his mouth, “Dad, Ryan thinks he here’s someone crying.   But we aren’t hearing the sounds.”


Ryan glared at us, “You people get ready to eat while Uncle Alex and I check to make sure that I’m not imagining things.”


We were eating when Ryan and Alex arrived.  Alex was  carrying a little boy, and Ryan was crying.  “Dads, we found a little boy who was hurt by the people who were here.  We need to take him to the hospital.  We can’t get him to talk.”


Dan stood, “The rest of you eat.  I’ll take Alex, Ryan and our visitor to the hospital.  It will be much faster than if we were to call 911.  Alex is already carrying the boy, so there can’t be any more damage done than has already been done.”


Talk about a somber dinner, it was like a morgue.  It was Friday night After dinner; we were waiting for a report from Vince and the hospital gang.  Vince arrived first and reported, “The young reporter practically creamed in his pants when he saw the tape I made.”


Nate asked, “What does that mean?”


Dad Thornton answered, “It means the young reporter was very excited.”


The phone rang and George answered.  When he returned, he announced, Doctor Thornton reports that  Mister X is resting comfortably, but they still haven’t gotten him to talk.  Ryan and Alex are going to spend the night with the young boy.  He said he’d explain more when he got here.”


Everyone was assembled in the parlor or whatever, waiting for Dan to return.  Nate was sitting on my lap, “Daddy, I don’t know if I can go to sleep without Ryan being here.  We’ve been sleeping together for so long.”


Vince pouted, “I’m going to have the same problem.  It’s been so long since I haven’t slept with Alex that I probably won’t be able to go to sleep.  Maybe your Dads will allow you to spend the night with me to make sure that I don’t fall out of bed.”


Dan arrived and explained, “We can’t honestly tell what happened to the Little Guy.  He’s badly bruised.  The only persons he’s responding to are Alex and Ryan.  I made Alex and Ryan go get something to eat while we had Little Mister X in the Emergency Room.  I’ve prescribed some more tests for him, but the x-rays don’t show any broken bones.  What baffles me is why we can’t get him to talk to us.  I’m guessing that he’s four or five, but it doesn’t appear that he has had a good life up until now.  Ryan practically had to force him to eat some food.”


Dad Thornton asked, “Dan, did you contact the authorities about a missing person matching Mister X’s description.”


“Yes, Dad, we did.  So far there have been no positive responses.  Vince, have a change of clothes ready for Alex so I can take them with  me in the morning.  I get the feeling that neither Alex nor Ryan are going to budge until they know what’s going to happen to little Mister X.”


Nate took a deep breath, “Dads, bring me some clean clothes so I can stay and take care of Uncle Vince.”


When Dan and I arrived at the little house, I realized that I needed to make sure the animals had everything they needed.  Not only that, the four animals started to wander around waiting for their masters to arrive.”


When Dan and I went to bed, we could hear the animals pacing. Dan whispered, “I guess we are learning who is important around here.”


To be continued...


Editor's Notes:  I do wonder who this young fellow is, and why was he left there?  If it isn't one thing, it seems to be another.   Let's hope they can get the boy to talk to someone.  Of course, they have had experience with someone who wouldn't talk, before.  I don't think there will be an issue concerning having enough room for the youngster.  Maybe we will get more information in the next chapter. 


Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher


Posted: 05/07/10