My Father, My Son
by: Tom Borden

© 2000-2008 by the author


The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...


Caleb followed him and, standing behind him, put his hands on Steve's shoulders. "Steve, I'm sorry. I wanted to be truthful with you. My love for you is still the same as it ever was. I hope you believe me. Steve?"

Without turning around, Steve finally said, "Yes, I believe you."

"What's the matter, Steve?"

After a long pause, Steve, still looking out into the distance, said, "Caleb, something happened when I was back home in New England. "I met someone . . . ."


Chapter 79 


Caleb had looked forward with so much anticipation to Steve's homecoming. Hearing Steve say that he had met someone sent chills up his spine. "Steve, what do you mean, you've met someone?"

Steve walked back inside and sat down on the sofa. "Caleb," began Steve, "do you remember Dan? The guy who came to the Walker Ranch about the same time I did? We had been very attracted to each other, but because of the stupid aloof way I acted, he picked up and went off to El Paso. On the way, you may remember, he met a guy by the name of Shane. They lived together for awhile, but Shane apparently treated Dan badly, bringing around all his other lovers and flaunting them in his face. Dan finally left and went back home to New England. When I was up there the other day, I ran into him and . . . ."

"Did you . . . I mean . . . did you . . . ?" asked Caleb softly.

"Yes, Caleb. I went to bed with him. My feeling for him just came flooding back over me. I'm sorry, Caleb. I thought about not telling you. But I just can't lie to you."

"You still love him, don't you?" said Caleb.

Tears began to flood Steve's eyes. "I don't know. I just don't know. Until I met you, there really was no one I wanted more than Dan."

Caleb didn't know what else he could say. He got up and went into the kitchen, returning in a few minutes with wine for both of them. "Thank you for telling me," said Caleb. "Thank you for being honest."

Caleb had always had the feeling that the love that he and Steve shared was too good to be true. There was nothing he could do now but to continue to show Steve all the love he could and not cause a scene. He would let Steve work out whatever was happening in his own time. He let Steve talk about it whenever and in the way he wanted to. When they went to bed that night, they took each other in their arms and held each other tightly. Nothing was said until just before they went to sleep when Steve whispered, "I love you, Caleb. I'm sorry."

Two days before Christmas, Jake went into Goliad to pick up his Christmas present for Jumper. He had the week before bought a pair of boots for Jumper and had taken them in to have his monograph burned into the side of each of them. Before returning to the ranch, he stopped by the Cock and Balls Lounge for a couple of beers. Sitting at the bar, he began to think about his son, Jacob, languishing in jail. He remembered what Michael had said about how he should tell Jumper that they were related. He just didn't know what to do.

Soon a scruffy looking cowboy came in. He looked about thirty-five. Standing next to Jake, he said, "Anybody sittin' here?"

"Nope," said Jake. "Sit yer ass down. Yer new around here, ain't ya?"

"Sure as hell am. My name's Roy. What's yers?"

"I'm Jake. Where ya workin?"

Roy said, "Jist started workin' over at the McGinnis place. They's nice people, but it's a shitty ranch. Kinda run down. But they pay me pretty good."

"Where'd ya come from, Roy?"

"I been workin' over at the King Ranch. But it's too fuckin' big. They don't give a shit about nobody. They work ya like a fuckin' mule and don't pay nothin' neither."

Jake said, "Well, I heared the McGinnis Ranch was gonna sell out to some developer."

"I heared that too," said Roy looking around the room. "Hey, what is this place? A friggin' fag bar? Look at them girly-boys over there in the corner. They're kissin'! Ugh! One of them better not come near me. I'll beat the shit outta 'em."

Jake laughed. "They won't bother ya, Roy. Jist don't pay no fuckin' attention to 'em."

"I don't see no women in here, neither. Not that I'd fuck around with any of 'em."

Jake said, "Don't ya like women?"

"Sure I do, but I git all the fuckin' I want from my old lady."

"Yer married?"

"No way, man! I got a good lookin' cunt that follows me around wherever I go. We live in a little place right outside of the McGinnis Ranch. Ooooo-eee! Can she fuck! She takes the old cock anyplace I wanna put it!"

"Anyplace?" said Jake.

"Yup, anyplace. In her sloppy wet pussy, in her mouth, up her ass, anyplace, anytime."

"Ya like fuckin' her up her ass?"

"Hey, man, that's the best. And that's the place she likes it the best. She kept sayin' it was too bad she didn't have a fuckin' cock on her so I could find out how good it is."

"Well . . ."

Roy continued, "One night, she got hold of a fuckin' candle and while she was suckin' on me, she started to slip that fuckin' candle up my ass.?"


"And she was right. That candle touched somethin' up there and made me shoot a load like I never done before."


"And then one night while I was layin' in bed waitin' fer her to come outta the bathroom, I look over and she's standin' there in the doorway with a big strap-on cock hangin' off the front of her. I about shit. I about laughed my fuckin' balls off."

"Yeah?" said Jake as he felt his own penis begin to jerk and throb.

"Well, shit. She come at me with that big thing bobbing up and down and told me to git my fuckin' legs up in the air. She was gonna show me what a real cock felt like."


"Well, lemme tell ya. That was the best fuckin' feelin' I ever had. Now ever time we git in bed, she fucks me with her big strap-on, and then I fuck her. Nothin' better."

Jake said, "But she gits fucked with a real cock, and you just git a plastic thing up yer ass. It ain't like the real thing."

"Well, sure it is. It's shaped just like a fuckin' cock and got a big fuckin' head on it."

"No it ain't," said Jake. "If ya like to git fucked by a cock, it shouldn't jist look like a cock, it should be a real cock."

"What you sayin, man? I ain't gonna let some girly-boy stick his cock up me. No way!"

"Nah, you don't need one of them to do it. Ya know, me and you have gotten to be friends here. I wouldn't lead ya astray. If ya take a real cock up yer ass, it should be from someone ya know and trust. You've confided in me, so I know ya trust me, don't ya?"

"Sure, man, I trust ya."

I'm jist sayin that fer yer own good and yer own fuckin' education, you should let me show ya how good a real cock would feel. I mean it'd be real private and nobody has to know."

Roy looked at Jake in the eye and said, "Yer tellin' me you'd show me what a real cock feels like? That sounds real dirty."

"No, no," said Jake. "It ain't dirty. You already like it up the ass. I jist think ya need to know what yer girl friend is tellin' ya. She's tellin' ya a good hard fuckin' cock up the ass is the best. You need to find out fer yerself. And ya might as well take this opportunity to find out. Nobody needs to know and we won't tell nobody."

Roy paused and said, "Well, I dunno. Hey, have you ever taken a fuckin' cock up yer ass?"

"Sure, lotsa times."

"You ain't one of them fags, one of them girly-boys, are ya?"

"No, Roy! I ain't one of them. I fucked a shit-pot of women in my day, but I'm jist like you. I found out one day I loved it up the ass. T'aint no harm in that. Guys gotta do what feels good. And a good hard cock up the ass feels fuckin' good."

Roy hesitated and then said, "Well, I don't know where we would do that."

"I do," said Jake. "Follow me."

Jake took Roy by the arm and went into the men's room. Going into one of the stalls, he said, "Now pull yer fuckin' pants down and lean over the toilet. Remember this is jist fer yer fuckin' education so you'll know that girl ain't lyin' when she tells ya a real hard cock up the ass is the best."

Roy pulled down his pants and leaned over the toilet. Jake dropped his own pants and looked down at one of the prettiest asses he'd ever seen. He gently pulled the two firm ass cheeks apart and peered into the crack. There hiding behind a soft thicket of black hair was a very red and puckered asshole. Pulling out a tube of grease he always carried, Jake squeezed a little onto the hole and rubbed it in. Then moving up close, he slowly pushed his gorged penis into the hole. Roy began to moan.

"Does it feel okay?" asked Jake.

"Shit, yeah!" came the reply. "Push it in all the way."

Jake pushed Roy's shirt up to around his neck and ran his hands over the firm, extended muscles that covered his back. He ran his hands down lower and took hold of Roy's very thin waist. Holding on, he began pumping the full length of his penis into the man's rectum. "Is it still okay?" said Jake.

"Yeah! Fuck me really hard! Hey! Are ya gonna cum inside of me?"

"Sure. Is that okay?"

"I don't know."

"You'll love it, Roy. It's part of having a real penis up yer ass. And the feeling of hot cum flowing into you is a feeling you'll never forgit."

Roy was swiveling his hips slightly as though he wanted Jake to go deeper. Soon Jake said, "Okay Roy. I'm gittin ready to shoot my fuckin' cum into ya. Hold on!"

Roy could feel Jake's hard penis throbbing against the rim of his asshole and could feel the warm flow of Jake's sperm as it flooded his rectum. When Jake finally stopped pumping, Roy said over and over, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I ain't never felt nothin' like that before."

As Jake pulled out, Rod straightened up and began stroking his own hard-on over the toilet.

"Wait a minute, Roy," said Jake. "You know, I like to git fucked by a real cock, too. Remember? What d'ya say?"

Roy turned around and said, "Ya mean ya want me to fuck ya?"


"I ain't never done that before."

"But don't ya think I'd like to git fucked too? If ya liked it a lot, maybe ya could thank me by giving me the same pleasure."

Roy smiled and said, "Listen, old man, you are some-fuckin'-thing else. Okay. Turn around and I'll give it to ya."

As Jake leaned over the toilet, Roy pushed his penis into Jake's asshole. "Hey, this feels better than my old lady's fuckin' asshole. It's so fuckin' tight."

It was only a matter of seconds before Roy's whole body slipped into a powerful orgasm. As he looked down at Jake's ass, he suddenly found it erotic beyond anything he had ever known to be shooting his sperm into another man's ass.

When they had finished, they pulled up their pants and washed their hands. Back at the bar, they had one more beer each. Then Jake said, "Well it's gittin' late. I'm gonna have to git back to the ranch." Extending his hand, he said, "It's been a real fuckin' pleasure, man."

Roy said, "It's been more than a fuckin' pleasure. Yer right. Gittin' a real cock up the ass is somethin' I can git real used to. I think I'll stay here and have one more fuckin' beer."

As Jake was climbing into his truck, Roy came running out. "Hey Jake. You know . . . do ya think maybe . . . well, maybe we could . . . you know . . . you and me . . . git together agin sometime?"

"Sure, Roy. Here's my number at the Walker Ranch. Give me a call sometime. Now that we're what they call 'asshole buddies,' maybe we could have some fun."

It was a quiet Christmas at the Walker Ranch. Michael and Karl had decided to postpone the trip they had hoped to take to Australia, primarily since their recent shipment of cattle had brought less money than expected and business appeared to be heading for a slump. Also, Jeff and Paul were not going to be able to accompany them. Paul had to spend the time when school was out to work on a new lab project, and Jeff had taken a part-time job as a bartender at one of the hotel lounges in Austin. They were both able, however, to spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the Ranch.

Enrique and Noah were going to spend Christmas Eve and Day with Caleb and Steve. Josiah and Brian had been invited by some school friends to go skiing with them in Colorado over the holidays. Terry Murdock had to work at François' on Christmas Day, but he and Adriano would be spending Christmas Eve with Mario and Frack.

A rare light dusting of snow had fallen on Christmas Eve, and by Christmas Morning, everything was white. Jumper had never seen snow and was delighted to get outside. There wasn't enough to make a snowman, but he and Jake made some snowballs, with which they pelted each other. By noon, however, the snow was gone, and the countryside looked back to normal. Back inside Jake's room, Jake took out a box wrapped in red and white Christmas paper with a green bow.

"Merry Christmas, my boy!" said Jake handing the box to Jumper.

"Can I open it?" asked Jumper.

"Of course! What the fuck day do you think this is? Halloween?" said Jake with a laugh.

Jumper tore open the box to find his new boots. "Oh, Jake! They're so nice! Are these really for me? And they have my initials on the sides!"

Jumper took off his old boots and slipped on the new ones. "This is a wonderful Christmas present. I never got no Christmas presents before. These'll be wonderful when I ride Red Beauty!"

"C'mon, Jumper, let's git over to the horse barn. I want ya to git on Red Beauty and I'll take a picture of ya with yer new boots on. Karl lended me his camera."

"Okay, but I got a present for you too, Jake," said Jumper as he pulled a small box from his chest. "Go ahead. Open it!"

Jake said, "I don't git many Christmas presents neither." The thought that Jumper was giving him something made him start to choke up a little before he even opened the box."

"Aren't ya gonna open it, Jake?"

"Sure I am. I jist wanna look at the pretty paper on it fer a minute." Jake slowly opened the box and took out the hand-tooled belt.

"I made it myself," said Jumper. "But I had a little help from Karl."

Jake sat down slowly on the side of the bed and unrolled the belt. As he looked at it, tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"What's the matter, Jake," said Jumper. "Don't ya like it?"

Jake felt so emotional, he couldn't speak, but he motioned for Jumper to come and sit next to him. Finally Jake said, "It's beautiful. I've never had a belt so beautiful. Oh, Jumper. I don't know what to say. Did ya make this jist fer me?"

"I sure did," said Jumper as he rested his head on Jake's shoulder. "You done so much fer me, and I never done nothin' fer you. It ain't much, but I hope ya like it."

Jake took Jumper in his arms. He couldn't stop the tears. They just kept rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Jumper. I jist can't help it. This beautiful belt is the most wonderful gift I ever got. Especially since you made it fer me. God, Jumper. How I love you."

Jake held on to Jumper for a long time, and neither of them said anything. Finally, Jake had himself under control and took off his bandana from around his neck and wiped his eyes. Looking down at the belt, he ran his fingers over the carved design. "What a beautiful job you did on this, Jumper. I'm gonna put it on right now. Then git that camera over there and take a picture of me. And be sure to git the belt right in the middle of the picture."

As soon as Jake buckled up the belt, he spread his arms and put a big smile on his face as Jumper snapped the picture. "Okay, little buddy, let's go on out and git a picture of you on Red Beauty!"

After Jake took Jumper's picture, he said, "C'mon over here and sit on this bale with me for a little bit. She's a beauty, ain't she. Tomorrow morning, first thing, I'm gonna have ya take her out and see how she feels to ride."

Jumper got up and went over to pat the horse again and rub her nose. Jake looked at him as he returned to sit down. "Ya have her eyes," Jake said as he stared into the boy's face. "And yer hair is golden jist like hers."

"Who ya talkin' about, Jake?"

"C'mon back and sit down here," said Jake. "I got somethin' I gotta tell ya, and I don't know really how to do it."

Jake told the whole story about how he and Jeanette Thomas were the parents of Jumper's father, and how she named him Jacob Thomas, and how her father took the baby and sent him to the agency. "Jumper," said Jake, "so you see, yer daddy is my son. And that makes you my grandson. Jumper, I'm sorry."

Jumper lay his head in Jake's lap and started to cry. Jake caressed his head. "I'm sorry, Jumper. I'm really sorry."

Jumper looked up and said, "Are you telling me the truth, Jake? Are you really my grampa?"

"That's right."

Jumper felt so confused. He could hardly believe that his dad was Jake's son. "He couldn't be yer son, Jake. He's such a bad man."

"I know, Jumper. He wouldn't have been a bad man if me and his mother had been allowed to raise him. But it's the fuckin' truth. He's my son."

Jumper sat up and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Jake, I think it's pretty good being your grandson, but I'm really sorry that my dad had to be your son."

Jake and Jumper talked about it for another half-hour. Then Jake thought it best to get off the subject. He stood up and pulled Jumper to him and they hugged and kissed deeply. "You know, it's Christmas, Jumper. And it's starting out to be one of the best Christmases I've ever had. Pretty soon it'll be time fer us to git washed up to git this fuckin' horse shit smell off us and go on over to the house fer Christmas dinner! Are ya hungry?"

Before they left the barn, Jumper said, "It's a pretty good Christmas for me, too. I love the boots, and I love my grampa!

Terry Murdock had settled in well with his new job at François' Restaurant. But his problems with André, the owner's son, persisted. One night after the restaurant closed, Terry went to François' office to talk about the poor condition of the linen napkins and tablecloths. As he was telling François that he believed new linen needed to be ordered, André came in.

"I hate to interrupt this little tête-à-tête you two seem to be having every night," said André sarcastically. "But I'm glad you're both here. I have a complaint. I might as well tell you so you can both hear; I'm getting fed up with your superior attitude, Murdock."

"André, please," said François. "You're out of order talking like that."

"Oh, Dad, I know the two of you have your noses up each other's ass. Has he fucked you yet, Murdock? Huh?"

François stood up and shouted, "That is totally uncalled for! Now get out of here!"

André slumped into a chair. "Dad, please. I'm your son. Is Murdock's ass a better fuck than mine? Huh? It's been a while, hasn't it? Ever since this English snob came around, I haven't been good enough, have I?"

Terry stood up and said, "I'd better leave now. It's getting late, and I need to get home."

"No, Murdock, stay," said François. "We're not going to leave it at this. You might as well know. I'm sure you have suspected that there was something between André and me, Murdock. It might as well come out in the open."

"Yeah," said André, "and you might as well tell him, too, why you hired him. Go ahead. You didn't know anything about what kind of waiter he was. But you took a good look at the basket between his legs and his perky little ass, and thought, 'Fuck André! I got me a new piece of fuck meat!' Right?"

François sat down and, looking André in the eye, said, "I had hopes for you, André. I really did. But I've had it. I've had it with you and your never-ending foul disposition. You're no longer needed here, André. I want you out of here now. You're no longer a part of this family. And when you go looking for another job, don't expect any recommendation from me!"

André stood up and, with as much malice as he could muster, said, "Well, fuck you! Fuck you both!" As André whirled around and left, he slammed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, François," said Terry shaking his head. "This is all my fault. I should have realized from the beginning that I was an interloper in your family. I should have understood that before I accepted the job."

"Don't be silly. Sit down, Murdock," said François. "I'm the one who needs to apologize. André has been nothing but a problem to me lately."

"But I know it's all because of me," said Terry.

François said, "I have no choice but to be very open with you, Murdock. I'm sorry I hadn't been, right from the beginning. You made no secret of the fact that you have a lover of your own, that dear boy, Adriano. I should not have pretended that I am something I am not. Yes, it's true. My son, André, and I have been lovers ever since he turned fifteen. I know that must shock you."

"It really doesn't, François."

"And I cannot pretend, also," continued François, "that I have not found you enormously attractive. You're a stunningly handsome and sexual man. But André is wrong when he says I hired you only for your looks. I am not a fool. If you had not had the superb credentials and references you had, you would not have been hired. That is the truth of the matter."

"I appreciate that, François," said Terry. "I was not unaware that you and André had a relationship that went beyond the normal father-son thing. From the very start, André did his best to clue me in on that. And François, your relationship with your son doesn't shock me. I've recently met several other men who have very close and beautiful relationships with their sons. In fact, my Adriano has a relationship like that with his own father."

As Terry got up to leave, François walked up to him said, "Terry, I know I shouldn't do this. But would you let me kiss you before you leave? Now that the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, I suppose there's no need for me to be shy about this anymore. Yes, in addition to your fine credentials, I do find you unbearably attractive. I admit it."

"Oh, François, I suppose it's appropriate now for me also to admit to you that I find your dark looks extremely appealing. Of course, you can kiss me. I would like that."

François, who was somewhat shorter than Terry, stepped up to him and looked up into his face. "If you would bend your head down just a little, Monsieur, so that I can reach your lips . . . ."

Terry obliged, and they kissed several times lightly on the lips. Standing up straight, Terry said, "Thank you, François. That was nice. I'm very glad that the air has been cleared, as it were, and that we know each other so much better now. I suppose I should thank André for that. I must be going now. Adriano and I will be having a late supper tonight at Pedro's."

"Oh, my!" exclaimed François. "Mexican food? How could you?"

"I love Mexican food, François. And Pedro's Chalupas are the best in Texas!"

Josiah had been thinking over various scenarios for a possible novel. He knew he wasn't really ready academically to tackle such a project, but he nevertheless was eager to discuss his ideas with Dr. Borden. Knowing that Tom would very likely be working in his office over the holidays, Josiah paid him a visit.

"Hi, Tom!" said Josiah cheerfully as he entered Tom's office. "If you're real busy, I'll come back some other time. I wanted to talk with you about some plot ideas I've been thinking about."

Josiah walked up to Tom, who was standing at a bookcase, and put his arms around him and kissed him lightly on the lips. Tom did not respond as passionately as he had when they were at the ranch. "What's the matter, Tom," said Josiah. "Oh, I must have come at a bad time. I'll come back later."

"No, Josiah," said Tom. "Please stay. Please sit down. Josiah, I've been thinking about everything . . . you know, about you and me. I've been thinking that maybe it would be best, this coming semester, if you took someone else's class, you know, with another professor. There are a number of good professors in this department, and I think I could recommend just the one who would be good for you."

"I don't want another professor, Tom," said Josiah. "Don't you want to work with me anymore?"

Pulling up a chair and sitting directly across from Josiah, Tom said, "It isn't that, Josiah. I love working with you more than anyone else. You're the most talented student I've ever had, and I'll tell you it's an honor to have you want to be my student. But, Josiah, think about what we talked about . . . you know, down at the Walker place. The understanding we have about the feelings we have for each other . . . . I can see you're content with that. But it isn't enough for me, Josiah. Even though I can kiss you and hug you, you remain a fantasy to me. You'll never be mine to love you the way I need to love you. And you'll never love me as I need to be loved. Do you understand a little of what I'm saying?"

"I understand," said Josiah. "But I don't understand why that means you can't be my teacher anymore."

Tom leaned forward and took both of Josiah's hands in his. "Josiah, you and I think of each other in different ways. I crave something from you that you can never give. I can't give you the best I have in the way of mentor or teacher as long as I am so distressingly distracted by my desire for you. It's not fair to you, nor is it fair to myself to be so close to and want somebody as much as I want you. I want you in every way, Josiah."

Josiah shook his head and said, "But that doesn't mean . . . ."

"Josiah, please try to understand. I think of practically nothing but you. I see your face and body in front of me when I read, when I lecture, when I'm sitting with my family having dinner. You've become an obsession with me to the point that I even hate my own family for keeping me entombed in this marriage and preventing me from having you. Josiah . . . my dear sweet boy . . . I have to get a grip on myself and break this cycle of pain and longing. It's killing me, Josiah. There's no other way. Please understand. You have Brian, and you love each other. I just don't belong in this equation, and I've got to get out of it.

Tom stood up and walked back to the bookcase and stood there with his back to Josiah. Josiah walked to the door and said, "Tom, I think I do understand. I'm sorry. If it would help, I won't do any more kissing or hugging. We could just be teacher and student like it used to be."

"No, Josiah, that won't help," said Tom. "When you register for next semester, please register for Dr. Carington's class. He's a good teacher, and you'll like him."

Josiah left without a word. Tom sat at his desk, hating what he just done. As tears rolled down his cheeks, he whispered, "Oh, God. I wish I was dead."

That night, Josiah and Brian took each other into their own bodies and reveled in the sweetness and depth of their love for each other. As they lay exhausted beside each other, Josiah said, "Brian, something happened today when I went in to talk with Dr. Borden. I thought that he and I could be good friends, but I shouldn't have been so naïve. He's wanted to be more than that."

"It figures," said Brian with a yawn.

"His feeling for me has been tearing him apart. He says the only thing that can help him would be for us not to see each other anymore. He wants me to sign up for another professor next semester."

"It's probably best, Josiah," said Brian.

"But I feel so bad about it," said Josiah. "I won't go to see him again if that's what he wants, but I'm going to miss him."

Brian propped himself up on one elbow and, looking down at Josiah, said, "Josiah, he had no business wanting to fool around with you, anyway. He's married and has kids not much younger than you."

"Have a heart, Brian. Surely you remember what it was like wanting someone you could never have. The fact that he's married doesn't mean he can renounce all the feelings he was born with."

"Well then," said Brian, "he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place."

Josiah rolled over on his side, facing the other way, and said, "Go to sleep, Brian."

Brian did go to sleep very quickly, but Josiah lay wide awake thinking about Tom. He wished that Brian had been more understanding. Getting up, Josiah went out onto the balcony, hoping that the dark figure would appear. "If you're there, I'd like to talk with you," Josiah said softly as he settled into a chair. "And don't come and tell me again that I have all the powers to fix everything. This is different."

Soon the familiar voice came out of the darkness at the other end of the balcony. "My, my, my, Josiah. You're a strange one! First you don't want me to talk to you, and then you do want me to talk to you. I'm terribly busy, so we'll get right to the point. You don't really understand what is happening with Tom, do you?"

"I do, kinda," said Josiah, "but it makes me unhappy and confused."

"Well, let me put Tom into perspective for you. I know he's never mentioned it to you, but Tom had once fallen deeply in love many years ago with another student while he was in college. If I do say so myself, I have never seen a love between two people as profound and sincere as the love that Tom and his friend, Jeff, had. After three years, because of a good deal of social and family pressures, the relationship ended. I haven't time to go into details, but Tom never really recovered from losing the love of his life. He never found anyone after that who measured up."

"I didn't know," whispered Josiah.

"In the meantime, his family put great pressure on him to marry and have a family. Since there were no other prospects for a relationship with someone like Jeff, and rather than live his life alone, he gave in and married. It happens all the time, Josiah, to young lonely men who have been hurt. Tom isn't the only young man who has ended up like this. There are thousands and thousands all around you like him."

"There are? He's not the only one?" said Josiah.

"Certainly not. You can't recognize them usually. Most hide their private longings and go about living the lie valiantly. But some don't, of course. Josiah, when Tom found you, he could see that you were everything he ever wanted and searched for all these years. But as everyone knows, my boy, life is made up of one long series of choices. Tom made the choice to get married because he thought at the time that it was the only thing to do. But in the process of making choices, humans also make mistakes. Most people, as they get older, can point to their lives as a catalog of missed opportunities, filled with 'what ifs' and 'might have beens.' There are some mistakes that cannot easily be undone. Tom loves you very much, but he will never do anything for the sake of that love to destroy the lives of those in his family in a misguided effort to undo the mistake."

"But I don't want him to destroy his family," said Josiah. "Why can't we just be friends?"

"He already told you, Josiah. He wants and needs more with you than just being friends. And to have that, he would have to leave his family. And he's wisely not going to do that. He will never, however, be free of the painful yearnings he has suffered and will continue to suffer. Don't be hard on Tom, my boy. What he did today was right. For your sake, and especially for his, he needed to pull back into the reality of his life. You have been a powerful fantasy to Tom. But the fantasy has taken hold of him and he has let it harm him in ways he can't control. But he's now taking the right course. I know you love Tom in your own way. But because you love him, the best thing you can do now is to let him work things out in his own way."

"And that means I can't ever see him again?" said Josiah.

"If that is what he has decided, yes, that's what it means. Josiah, please. You're a bright young man. Think of him. Let him deal with the pain in his life the way he sees best. He'll work it out. I need to go now. Are you all right?""

"I'm fine," sighed Josiah. "Thank you. I think I want to cry."

"Go ahead, my boy! Then go on back to your dear Brian and tell him you love him."

On New Years Eve, Michael told Jake that he and Jumper could spend the night at his little house in the Cottonwoods. Since the house was on a rather high knoll, they would have a good view of the traditional New Years Eve fireworks over in Goliad put on by the fire department at midnight. Noah and Enrique were invited to go to Goliad and spend the night with Caleb and Steve and watch the fireworks from their balcony. Tony and Clayton had been invited to take the bus up to San Antonio where they would stay over and celebrate New Years Eve with Mark and Corky.

Jeff and Paul, however, drove down to the ranch to be with Michael and Karl that evening, as well as on New Years day. Most of the ranch hands were also off somewhere, but for those who stayed back on the ranch, Tony had made a couple of hundred sandwiches that would be available for them when they got hungry.

The weather had turned unusually warm, and the snow of Christmas Day was only a distant memory. After mixing up a pitcher of margaritas and a pitcher of daiquiris, Michael suggested that the four of them sit out on the front veranda where they could see the fireworks in the distance over in Goliad when midnight arrived.

"Dad," said Jeff, "Why aren't you having Scotch tonight, as usual?"

"Well, it's New Years Eve. We've got to drink to the New Year with something special. Anyway, I like a good margarita now and then. And I know Karl likes daiquiris. But you two boys take whichever one you want. But if you want beer, there's plenty in the refrigerator."

Before Tony left, he had prepared a large platter of snack food that would take the place of supper. There was cold shrimp, Italian sausage and a variety of cheeses and fancy breads that Steve had donated to the gathering with his best wishes.

Michael and Karl were eager to tell Jeff and Paul about the new things that were going to occur at the ranch over the coming year. Michael said, "We're going to modernize our operation a bit. We're going to buy a helicopter. It's time we had a way of getting out to trouble spots on the ranch quickly instead of always having to saddle up horses or drive out there. Also, we make a lot of trips, not only to Goliad and Victoria, but up to San Antonio on business. There are also times when we need to go to other places like El Paso and Houston. It'll pay us to get modern like so many of the other ranches around here. The Borden Ranch next to us has had helicopters for several years now."

Karl said, "It might interest you to know also that we're ceasing the practice of branding our cattle. It's been a long time since we drove our herd up the Chisholm Trail to Abilene. We just don't need the brands anymore to keep our herd separate from somebody else's herd on the drive. Now we're simply going to clip a tag to the ear of every steer."

"And in addition to that," said Michael, "We've decided to convert four to five thousand acres into crops. We'll be purchasing a new modern combine and some other equipment."

Karl added, "Yes, and we'll be constructing another barn adjacent to the horse barn that will also contain a much larger tack room. And we'll be relocating our round-up area about a mile from here with new shoots and gates that will make it much easier to load the cattle onto trucks, and in a more efficient manner."

"And do you realize, Jeff," said Michael, "that this old house was built in 1880? It needs a hell of a lot of upgrading. It needs a new roof, and the plumbing is old. Also, we're going re-do the kitchen to make it much more efficient in preparing meals for the crew. We'll be building a covered walkway from there to the dining hall and purchase some modern hot carts to transport the food to there from the kitchen."

Jeff shook his head and said, "I thought you were having a slump in business with the economy not so hot these days."

Michael said, "That's true, but while we don't really want to spend the money on a trip to Australia this year, we do have the money to upgrade and modernize the business. It's long overdue."

As the evening wore on, the tray of food was finally emptied, and great inroads had been made in the two pitchers of drinks. Midnight had finally arrived and everyone turned their chairs to face in the direction of Goliad so they could see the fireworks. Right on schedule, the first burst of a rocket appeared in the sky.

Jeff looked up and said, "That's beautiful. That looks just like I feel when Paul blasts off! I see stars and sparks every time he shoots his rocket off in me!"

"That's a pretty good analogy, Jeff," said Karl. "I can see what you mean. Your dad affects me the same way sometimes."

"What do you mean, 'sometimes?'," said Michael. "Don't I have that effect on you every time?"

"Well, I don't want you to get the idea you're perfect," said Karl as he patted Michael's bulge. "How about you, Paul?"

Just as another rocket exploded in the sky, Paul said, "Look! That's me when I blast off! Everyone of those rockets going off are perfect orgasms, wouldn't you say. Hey, don't you think we need to wish one another Happy New Year?"

Paul got up and leaned over Michael and gave him a big kiss. At the same time, Jeff went over and knelt down next to Karl's chair and kissed him. At the same time, he slipped his hand down in under Karl's belt and took hold of a very large penis. "Excuse me, Karl," said Jeff with his words slightly slurred. "I think I had a few too many drinks. I just can't control my hand."

As Paul was leaning over Michael kissing him, he took the cue and unzipped Michael's fly, pulling his hard gorged penis out into the open. "Now there's a real rocket for you," said Paul, having a little difficulty with his own slurred words. "I'll bet you could blast that rocket off with lots of stars and sparks!"

Michael reached over and unzipped Paul's fly and pulled his penis out. "Maybe we should have a contest, Paul," said Michael, as he moved his mouth close to Paul's penis, now producing a long elastic string of pre-cum. "We can see who can shoot the biggest explosion!"

All four were by now feeling no pain, so to speak, but had slipped into a state of horniness that was almost uncontrollable. Michael said, "Don't you think it's getting a little chilly out here? Maybe we should go on inside and get comfy."

Very quickly, all four were lying naked on Michael and Karl's bed, writhing around in a tangle of hot skin like a tub of snakes. Jeff began running his tongue wildly over Karl's beautiful Italian skin, quickly finding the hot, moist cave between his firm ass cheeks. The hair that filled Karl's crack was soft and wet and the feel of his tight pucker on his tongue drove Jeff into a frenzy. As he ran his hands lightly over the hair on Karl's legs, he thrust his tongue as deeply as he could into Karl's rectum.

Michael had Paul on his back and began running his tongue over the soft fleshy part of Paul's upper inner thighs, then lightly tickling Paul's ball sack with the tip of his tongue. Michael was on his knees with his round ass cheeks sticking up in the air. As Jeff continued tongue-fucking Karl, he reached over and ran two fingers into his dad's asshole. Both Karl and Paul were lying on their backs with their bodies pressed up against each other, and were kissing each other wildly and passionately while Jeff and Michael were working on their assholes. Michael then moved down and gave Paul's legs a total tongue bath, running his tongue over the soft hair that covered them.

Karl motioned for Jeff to rise up and sit on his face so that he could take in the hot moisture and odor of Jeff's crotch. As Michael continued licking Paul's legs, Paul leaned over and took Karl's gorged, throbbing penis into his mouth, sucking it furiously and running his hands over Karl's slender, but muscular legs.

Soon, with Michael on his back and his thighs pressed tightly against his chest, Paul mounted him, pushing his hard penis into Michael's hole. The sight of his dad lying there getting fucked by Paul was almost more than Jeff could take. Pulling his crotch off of Karl's face, he lowered his face onto his dad's chest and stomach, licking it furiously. Then, lying on his side, and taking his dad's penis into his mouth, Jeff felt Karl's face pressing into his ass crack.

Pulling Jeff over and onto his back, Karl lifted Jeff's legs and thrust his penis into Jeff's asshole. There lay Michael and his son, both getting fucked by the other's lover. Just as Jeff had, Michael was aroused almost beyond endurance watching his son being fucked by Karl. Paul and Karl were pumping in rhythm with each other and the bed was bouncing wildly. Then simultaneously, their orgasms took hold of their bodies and, as they growled and moaned, they shot their loads into the rectums of this father and his son.

When they had all caught their breath, Karl and Paul rolled over and lay on their backs. As Michael mounted Paul, Jeff moved his head down within inches of Paul's asshole and watched his dad's long hard penis as it entered the hole and began sliding in and out. As Jeff moved away, Karl, now up on his knees, lay his head on Paul's stomach and took Paul's penis into his mouth. Jeff, now behind Karl, looked into Karl's ass crack and filled it with saliva. He then got on his knees and fucked Karl from behind. As Both father and son fucked the other's lover, they looked into each other's face as they contorted and as their orgasms took over their bodies. With loud grunts and groans, they both shot their loads into the rectums of the other's lover.

The four hot bodies lay there, catching their breath and breathing in the heady smell of sweat and sperm. Soon they lay on their sides in a sort of daisy chain, licking up the sperm that was now oozing out of their assholes. Michael was sucking on Jeff's asshole, Jeff was licking up the sperm that Karl had deposited in Paul's asshole, Paul was sucking out Karl's hole, and Karl was lapping up Paul's sperm from Michael's ass crack.

As the four lay side by side, idly running their hands over one another, Jeff said, "I wonder if Noah and Ricky had as much fun with Caleb and Steve tonight."

Michael said, "I'm sure they had fun, but no more than we did. I'll bet, also, that Tony and Clayton are having a wild time with Mark and Corky. I always wished I'd had a chance to get fucked by Mark, that gorgeous hunk of a man. We'll have to ask Tony and Clayton how it was."

"Maybe sometime we can get Mark and Corky down here for a romp in bed," said Karl. I've also been thinking about Jake and Jumper. They are so much in love. I hope they're having a good time tonight."

Jeff said, "You know, I don't think any of us have ever had Jumper. I wonder if he and Jake would ever consent to having a foursome sometime."

Michael said, "I really don't think it's ever entered Jumper's mind to do it with anyone else. He has eyes only for Jake. But I have to admit, Jumper is a really cute guy, and I'll be the first to admit here that I'd love to fuck him sometime."

Jeff said, "I don't think any of us will disagree with that."

Michael sat up and looked down at the other three sweaty bodies sprawled out before him. "We're pretty lucky, though. We and all our friends are lucky in love. Caleb and Steve, Enrique and Noah, Adriano and Murdock, Mario and Frack, Josiah and Brian, Mark and Corky, and of course, Jake and Jumper. Life is good. And the coming year promises to be great. Happy New Year, you guys!

To be continued...

Posted: 10/17/08