Chapter 47 

When Tony announced that a prison official was on the phone, Michael suddenly became worried and, taking the phone, said "Hello."

"Mr. Walker? Mr. Michael Walker?"

"Yes, this is he."

"This is Corey Dibble, the clerk of the Parole Board. Mr. Jared Walker, who I understand is your brother, will be coming up for his first parole hearing in June. I realize that will be several weeks away, but we wish to line up our witnesses now. You will be subpoenaed to appear then as a witness in the hearing. You will be sent an official written notice, but we would like to know now that you will be in the country at that time."

Michael suddenly felt a sort of rage over the news that parole might be possible. "Yes, of course, I will be available anytime that month."

"Thank you, Mr. Walker. You'll receive your subpoena shortly. Good day."

"Why, why, why?" Michael thought. Why did he have to deal with this again? Of all the troubles that Michael has had from time to time, Jared was always the root of the worst of them.

Jared had always tried to be a model prisoner, realizing that parole would require him to have been on good behavior. As hard as imprisonment itself was, the one thing that was equally as hard was his inability to satisfy his sexual needs. Every night, when he would climb into his cot, his hand would automatically go for his penis. Constant nightly masturbation helped, to a degree, in relieving his sexual anxieties, but he needed more. He needed the physical sexual contact with another human being. His fantasies as he masturbated were getting wilder and wilder. His cell mate, a large bear of a man, who everyone called Tank, also quietly masturbated just about every night. But masturbation seemed to be all that man needed.

One day, Jared spoke to Tank about it. "Tank, you know one thing I miss most is to have someone to fuck. I've humped my mattress and have done everything I can do to make myself feel I'm actually fucking, but it ain't the same."

Tank said, "Hey, buddy, what you need is a good butt to fuck. You know, there's a young fella in a cell down on the next level of this cellblock who everyone's been fuckin'. I'm surprised you ain't heard about him. He's about nineteen, I think, and he's doin' time for breakin' and enterin' they tell me. I'm not interested in him myself. Jerking off is all I need. And maybe get my cock sucked once in a while. But why don't I talk to some guys and see if he can't be brought up here for you. They always have to wait until late at night when the guard shift changes. There's a couple of guards, I understand, who cooperate and get the kid delivered to whoever wants him."

Jared looked over at Tank, who now had his penis out and was stroking it. It was the largest cock he'd ever seen. Tank could get both hands around it, and there was still a good deal visible.

"Hey, Walker," said Tank. "I see ya lookin' at my cock here. Do you suck cock?

Jared replied, "No, I don't."

"Aw, come on. You'd like to suck this one wouldn't ya? I got a big load for ya."

"I said no, Tank."

Tank continued stroking. "I had one of the night guards come in here once and tried to suck it. The little fucker couldn't even get it in his fuckin' mouth. He got the head in, and that's all he could take."

"I don't blame him," said Jared. "That's the most humongous piece of meat I've ever seen."

"Hey, don't it tempt ya," said Tank.

"No, it doesn't."

"Ya ever sucked a dude's cock before?"

"I already told you no."

"Don't ya like guys?" asked Tank

"No. I only like to fuck women. I did fuck around with my old man a few times a long time ago. But that's all."

"I thought you was involved in that father and son fucking ring."

"I was, but I just organized it. I didn't participate." Looking over at Tank, he said, "Do you think you can figure out a way to get that kid up here for me?"

"Yeah. But I thought you didn't like men or little boys."

"Tank, I'm so frustrated, I'll fuck a boy if that's all I can get. I remember when I ran that club, the guys said that fucking their sons with their tight little assholes was a hell of a lot better than fucking any damned female. I might as well try it.

Arrangements were finally made. As Jared lay on his cot late one night, he heard the steel gate on his cell being opened. Looking up, he saw the young man standing there inside the cell, his slender body silhouetted by the bright lights of the corridor outside. As he locked the gate, the guard said, "I'll be back in an hour or so."

Jared motioned for the boy to sit on the cot beside him. The boy was tall and thin with blond hair. His face looked older than his nineteen years, and his eyes were sad and bloodshot with deep dark circles under them. Even then there was an angelic sweetness in his face. With no expression on his face, the boy walked over and sat next to Jared. He bowed his head and stared at the floor.

"What's your name, son?" Jared asked.

"Tommy," the boy said softly.

"Would you like to lie down here with me?"

"I don't care," Tommy said quietly, as he lay down on his back.

"Can I help you take off your clothes?" said Jared.

"I don't care," said Tommy without emotion in his voice, and sitting up to remove his own shirt.

"Can I help you to . . . ." Jared started to say.

"I can do it myself," said Tommy as he stood up and removed his pants and underwear. He then lay back on the cot on his back with his eyes closed. Tank lay on his own cot watching this and slowly stroking his own penis.

Jared had a strange feeling. He hadn't imagined it like this. He thought there would be some emotion on the part of the boy. But it was obvious that he had become just a fucking machine . . . an automaton who had a hole for anyone's use. Jared looked at Tank, who merely waved his hand so much as to say, "Get on with it."

Jared looked down at the young man and suddenly felt a little sorry for him. He was so thin, with hardly any muscle on his arms or legs. His skin was so white. Tommy lay still looking up at Jared as though to say, "Well, what are you going to do to me?" Jared saw fear in his eyes, but at the same time a look of abject resignation. He slowly removed his clothes and lay down next to the boy. How could he do anything so violent, he thought, to a boy who was so fragile. They lay still for a long time. Tommy never moved, but the look on his face was of someone whose head was on the chopping block waiting for the pain of the axe when it fell.

For the first time in his life, Jared felt as though he would be violating this boy somehow if he so much as touched him. Tommy looked as though he had already been defeated, humiliated, and had had all the life squeezed and wrung out of him. Jared had never worried about violating or humiliating anyone before. It had always been as though he had no regard for human life whatsoever or the feelings of another human being. But this boy lying here in his bed was like a corpse, totally resigned to whatever fate may hold for him. He looked so innocent and vulnerable.

Jared leaned over and kissed Tommy on his forehead. Then pushing his body tightly against Tommy's body, he brushed the boy's hair back off of his forehead. Then he very slowly brought his arm across Tommy's chest. They lay there for a very long time with neither of them moving. Then Tommy turned his head and brought his hand up and laid it on Jared's arm. Jared could see tears in Tommy's eyes, glistening in the light from the hallway.

As Tommy closed his eyes again, Jared felt the boy's hand tightening on his arm. Jared looked down at Tommy's penis. It was perfectly soft, lying limply to the side on his left leg. Jared felt an almost uncontrollable urge to take the boy in his arms and hug him. But he couldn't get himself to move. They lay there, not moving, for almost an hour.

Soon, the guard appeared outside of the gate. "Are you done with him, yet?" he said.

Jared said, "Yes." Sitting up, Jared turned to Tommy and said, "You'd better get dressed now, son. The guard will take you back."

Tommy stood up and got back into his clothes and walked toward the gate that the guard was holding open. He stood at the gate, again silhouetted by the light behind him, and turned to look at Jared for a long moment, and then was led away.

As Jared fell back on his cot, Tank said, "Why the hell didn't you fuck his bony ass? What's the matter with you? He was lyin' there waitin' fer it. It woulda been no problem fer ya to shoot a load into that kid's bung hole. Why the fuck didn't ya do it? Everybody else in this place has."

"I just couldn't," said Jared. "That kid is half dead. I just couldn't do it to him."

"Aw, shit," growled Tank, as he resumed stroking his cock. "I was lookin' forward to watchin' a good fuck!"

Jared lay staring at the ceiling. He couldn't understand why he felt such pity for Tommy. The misfortunes and distress of others never bothered him before. What was this strange feeling that was coming over him. He looked over at Tank, who was now vigorously jacking off his cock. Suddenly, Tank let out a long low moan, and his hand dropped from his penis to off the side of the bed. Jared noticed that nothing had shot out of the man's penis. Jared turned back and continued looking at the ceiling. But something was wrong. Tank was always wheezing loudly, whether he was awake or asleep.

Looking over at Tank, Jared heard nothing and could tell that the man's enormous belly was not moving, as it always did as he breathed. Getting up and going over to him, he saw that Tank's eyes were open, but he was not breathing. He was dead. Running to the gate, he called out for the guard. In a few minutes, the guard came and, looking down at Tank, said, "Well, the old son-of-a-bitch is dead. I'll get him hauled away."

After several men from the infirmary came and carted Tank away, Jared lay down on his bed. He felt terrible. To have a man die right there in his cell, and to have poor Tommy there in his bed was overwhelming.

The next day, Jared couldn't get Tommy off his mind. He no longer thought about fucking him. His mind was filled only with an overriding sense of sorrow and pity for the boy. He wondered what was happening to him. He had never in his life felt sorrow or pity for anyone but himself.

Late that evening, he got up and stood at the gate to his cell and called for the guard. As the guard slowly ambled down the corridor, he said, "Well, what the fuck do you want now?"

Jared said, "Would you bring Tommy back here again? You know, the boy you brought to me last night?

"Can't get enough of his little ass, huh?" snarled the guard. "I'll go and see if he's occupied."

Soon, the guard appeared again holding Tommy's arm. "Here's your friend again. Have a good fuck!"

Tommy walked in and sat on the edge of the cot. As he began unbuttoning his shirt, Jared said, "No, Tommy. Don't take it off. I just want to talk to you. Okay?'

Tommy sat motionless, staring at the floor as he did the night before.

Sitting down next to the boy, Jared said, "I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. I'd just like to be your friend. Do you have any family, Tommy?"

"Nope."

"Why are you here?"

"Breaking and entering," murmured Tommy. "7-Eleven store."

"Why were you breaking and entering?"

"I was hungry, okay?" said Tommy impatiently.

"Don't you have any parents," asked Jared.

"Nope."

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"Nope."

"I was doing some bad things with young children."

Tommy looked up at Jared. "You were fucking them?"

"No, no. But I was arranging it so other men could."

"Well, why didn't you fuck me? I'm not a child." said Tommy.

Because I couldn't. I don't know . . . . I just couldn't. You don't deserve that kind of treatment."

"Why not? You don't know me. You might as well use me just like everyone else does."

"Do you want me to?"

Tommy shook his head and said, "No."

"Do you mind if I want to be your friend."

Looking up and into Jared's eyes for several moments, Tommy said, "No. If you want to be my friend, I don't mind. I've never had a friend."

"What did you do before you were arrested and sent here?" asked Jared.

"I didn't do nothing. I just got by on my own, stealing food and living with a bunch of Mexican kids in a tunnel down in Nogales, New Mexico."

"What brought you to Texas."

"I hitched a ride to Laredo one day when they started cleaning out the tunnels in Nogales and putting the kids in jail. Laredo's where I got arrested."

"Don't you know where you came from, or where you were born?"

"Nope. The court made me live with a foster family in Nogales. They told me that someone had found me right after I was born in some bushes in a park. I don't know nothin' more than that."

"How was your foster family?"

"Oh, I don't know. I don't remember too much. I remember the man hit me all the time and knocked me around. But I remember I liked the woman. She always smiled at me and she would sing to me every night when I would go to bed. She sometimes hugged me and she . . . ."

Tommy started to choke up and covered his face in his hands. Jared put his arm around Tommy's shoulder and pulled him close, holding his head against his own chest. "Tommy, it's okay. She must have loved you very much."

Holding his head tightly against Jared chest, Tommy said, "I guess so."

"Why didn't you stay with them."

"The old man came after me with a gun once and shot me." Tommy lifted his pant leg to show Jared the scar just above the ankle.

Jared said, "Tommy, what would you say if I requested that you stay in this cell with me? I have an extra cot now. And I won't let anyone take you out to do things with you."

"Could you do that?" Tommy said as he looked up at Jared with tears running down his cheeks.

"Well, I'll really try. I hope we can be friends," said Jared as he pulled Tommy tighter against him.

Evening had come to the ranch, and Steve was busy packing up his things for the trip home. Jake had offered to drive him to San Antonio to catch his flight the next morning. Steve was feeling as sad as he thought he had ever felt. Leaving the ranch, however, was the best and only thing he could do at this point. He had not called his wife to tell her he would be arriving the next afternoon. He thought he would probably stay in a motel when he arrived and call her from there. It was an important decision he'd made, and he told himself over and over again that it was the right one.

Soon there was a knock on his door. It was Dan.

"Steve," Dan began. "I'm going to move in here with you after all."

Steve looked startled. "How about Luke?"

"Well, I'm not with him anymore."

"What do you mean?" said Steve, continuing to fold his shirts.

"Before supper tonight," said Dan, "I went into our room, and Luke was sitting in there talking with another one of the ranch hands I've seen around the place. Neither of them had their shirts on. This other guy then got up and said he'd see Luke later on and left."

"So?"

"Then Luke told me he wanted me to move out of there. I asked him why, and he just picked up a magazine and started looking at it while he told me he just didn't want me to live in his room anymore. He didn't even look at me. I'm sorry, Steve, I guess I should have moved in with you before."

Steve sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Dan, "Well, Dan, it's probably best that you didn't move in with me. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I'm going back to New England. I want to do what I can to save my marriage. I really do."

Dan looked stunned. "You're leaving?"

"That's right."

"You mean you don't want to be with me now?"

Steve chuckled. "Dan, there was a time when I did. And I guess I still do a little. But you made it very clear you didn't want to get tied up with a married man. And I understood that."

"Now what do I do? I don't have any place to stay. Can I just stay here with you tonight, Steve?"

Steve resumed folding his clothes. "I'm afraid not, Dan. What little we had for each other is over. Besides, I have to get a very good night's sleep since I'm leaving very early in the morning."

Dan slumped into a chair with a look of panic on his face. Steve came over and knelt down in front of him and took his hand. "Dan, you came down here to this ranch on your own free will. You didn't expect anybody like me to be here to take care of you when you came. What did you expect when you came here?"

"It was Karl who brought me here. I thought he was going to see that I was put up and taken care of. Now Karl's gone. So now what do I do?"

"Maybe you ought to consider continuing your trip to wherever you were headed before you met Karl," said Steve.

"That was El Paso. I read about a job there. But I know it's probably no longer available."

"You could also consider going back to your girl friend and baby. You've got responsibilities there, you know."

Dan stood up. "Okay, Steve. I can see I'm wasting my time here. I thought you'd help me. You were kind of like a father to me, and I thought you'd help me."

Steve said, "You made your decision about that when you told me you weren't interested in me and stayed with Luke. I'd like to help you Dan. But you're on your own now. You made that decision yourself. I'm leaving first thing in the morning, and that isn't going to be changed. I think what you need to do right now is go down the hall and see Michael. Tell him your situation and see if he has a place for you to stay tonight. Then tomorrow you can think about what you're going to do."

Dan turned abruptly and left, slamming the door behind him. Steve sat down on the bed and could feel himself shaking. It had never been like him to turn away someone who needed his help. But he told himself that he was not going to be rebuffed like that and then have Dan back in his bed when Dan decided to do it. He thought to himself that if he didn't have so damned much pride, he would have enjoyed one full night again with Dan. But it was now over. He had the future to think of.

Dan walked down to Michael's room, but as he knocked, Clayton was passing by and told him that Michael was spending the night in San Antonio. Dan left the house and went to Luke's room where he found Luke still reading his magazine. Packing up his few belongings in his suitcase, he said, "Luke, I wish I knew why you don't want me here anymore. Is it something I did or didn't do, or something I said?"

"Nope," was all the Luke said, not looking up.

"Well, what was it?"

"Just don't want you staying in my room no more, that's all."

Dan picked up his suitcase and walked out of Luke's room. He walked over to the dining hall and, with his suitcase on the floor beside him, he lay down on one of the plastic covered sofas. He lay there, staring at the acoustical tiles on the ceiling. The feeling of abandonment was a terrible feeling to have, he thought. He didn't want to go back East, but where would he go? He literally had no home. He told himself over and over again, "I hate this place, I hate this place." He was soon asleep.

As the sun was just appearing in the East, Steve left his room with his luggage in hand and headed into the kitchen. Tony was busy with the breakfast meal. Steve put his luggage down and took Tony in his arms in a very big hug.

"Tony, I loved knowing you. And thanks again to you and Clayton coming into my room the other night. I needed that, and especially from you two guys. If I was going to stay longer, I would hope that we could do that again. You're both super guys. Clayton is a treasure, Tony. I know that it was hard on you to see Karl leave. But Clayton loves you and, if I were you, I would consider myself the luckiest man on Earth. He understood your disappointment over Karl. But he worried that you might not love him as much. Love him, Tony, and let him know he's number one."

"I do love him, Steve. And I will never do anything anymore that will make him doubt me. Sometimes, it's hard to believe I have him. Thanks, Steve, for all you've done to help me. We're going to miss you so much."

They kissed deeply, and then Steve picked up his luggage and hurried out to where Jake was waiting in his car.

As they drove off of the gravel road from the house and onto the highway to San Antonio, Steve looked back and had the most terrible urge to ask Jake to turn around and go back.

"Jake, this is one of hardest things I've ever done. You and Enrique and Michael and Jeff and all the other guys. I've never known anyone like you guys."

Jake said, "Well, everyone was convinced you and Dan would get together. What the fuck happened?"

"It's a long story, Jake. It's just time now for me to go back and do some repair work at home."

"I heard about you and Dan and Luke," said Jake. "I thought the three of ya would end up livin' together."

"How did you hear about that, Jake," asked Steve.

"Oh, me and Luke sometimes trade stories. He told me about what you three fuckers did." Then after a long pause, Jake said, "I wish the fuck I'd been there with ya."

"Really?"

As Jake and Steve drove on, Jake said, "Steve, there's a rest area up ahead. Would you mind if we pulled off and talked for a little while? Have we got time?"

"Sure, I think I've got plenty of time."

After Jake pulled off and parked, he asked Steve to tell him about his wife and also about his attraction to Dan. Steve told him about the trouble he had had in his marriage, and about how he thought he had fallen in love with Dan.

"Jake, I really had planned on staying on the ranch indefinitely. I'd had some experience with guys back home, but I'd never in my life felt about a guy like I did Dan. His body excited me and he looked up to me. And I felt a kind of love for him I've never felt before. I thought that he and I had turned a corner, and we could at last be together in our own room. I was so excited and felt so in love with him, and then . . . ."

Steve stopped and looked out of his window for a few moments and then said, "I'm sorry, Jake. I wanted him so badly, I think I would have spent the rest of my life with him. But he walked away from me."

Jake reached over and put his arm around Steve's shoulder, pulling him closer. Steve willingly laid his head on Jake's chest. As Jake kissed Steve on the top of the head, he said, "I ain't very subtle about things, but I'd like to suck your cock. I've wanted to suck your fuckin' cock since you first came on the ranch."

Steve said with a slight smile, "No, you ain't very subtle. I've had guys come on to me, but never that blunt."

As Jake placed his hand on Steve's crotch, Steve said, "I've heard about Jake's great blow jobs!"

"Who told you that?" growled Jake.

"Well, just about everyone on the ranch!" said Steve.

"Now pull yer fuckin' pants down a little bit so I can git at it," said Jake.

As Steve pulled his pants down around his knees, Jake ran his hand over the soft hair on Steve's thighs and, leaning over, ran the tip of his tongue over the head of Steve's hardening penis, licking up some of the pre-cum that was now beginning to bubble up out of Steve's pee hole.

"Goddamnmit!" groaned Jake. "That fuckin' cock keeps growin' bigger and bigger! You got ten fuckin' inches there?"

"No," said Steve, "But I think it's about eight inches. Bet you can't take it all!"

Without warning, Jake sucked in the whole length of Steve's rod as Steve started to pull off Jake's t-shirt. Then Jake helped him. Steve reached over and ran his fingers through the thick mat of black hair that covered Jake's chest and stomach. He reached down as far as he could and was able to bring his fingers just slightly under Jake's belt.

"Jake, sit up a minute," Steve said, "and slip your pants down so I can feel your cock and balls while you suck on me."

Jake quickly lowered his pants to his knees and resumed sucking. Steve could see that Jake's hard penis was long and straight, with a ball sack that hung down longer than he had ever seen. In fact it rested limply on the seat between his legs. As Steve fondled that luscious handful of Jake's balls, he could feel that he was getting close to orgasm. "Jake, slow down a little. It feels so good, I don't want to cum yet."

Jake ran his lips very slowly over the whole length of Steve's penis. On the upswing, he left just the head inside his mouth, and then took the whole length down his throat on the downswing. As Jake reached down and pushed the whole length of his forefinger into Steve's asshole, Steve could hold it no longer. He felt his hips start to buck automatically as he thrust his penis as deep into Jake's throat as he could. With each thrust, he could feel his sperm shooting up the whole length of his rod and out into Jake's mouth. And at each thrust, the orgasmic wave that took hold of his body was almost beyond anything he had ever felt. With Jake's tongue swirling around the head of his penis, Steve felt almost as though a whole new, second orgasm was building. It kept getting stronger, and suddenly, a second orgasm hit him. At the same time, he could feel on his hand the powerful streams of sperm that were now issuing from Jake's penis.

When Jake finally pulled his mouth off of Steve's wilting penis, he took hold of Steve's hand and sucked up all of his own cum. "Mmmmmm! That's so fuckin' good! Do ya ever eat yer own cum, Steve? It'll make hair grow on yer chest. Feel back here, Steve. I growed all that fucking hair in my ass crack because I eat lots of cum!"

As Steve started to pull up his pants, he said, "I'll remember that, Jake."

Out on the road again, Steve said, "Well, Jake, you lived up to your reputation. Even more so!"

"If ya ever find yer fuckin' way down this way again, remember that. When I was a youngster, I loved to eat pussy. But now I don't touch the nasty stuff. I just love cock!"

When Jake let Steve off at the airport, Steve threw his arms around Jake and said, "I love all you guys down here, and I love you, Jake. I'll never forget y'all. See, Jake, how well I've learned to say 'y'all.' I guess I could be a real Texan if I stayed longer."

As Jake watched Steve walk into the terminal, he shouted, "Y'all come back now, hear?"

Jared Walker was successful in arranging for Tommy to be moved to his cell. After a few days, Tommy seemed to emerge somewhat from his shell and talked more openly. Jared resisted the many attempts of the night shift guards to take him away to "service" the other prisoners.

Tommy once said, "I don't want to cause any trouble for you. I'll let 'em take me if it'll keep you from getting in trouble with anyone."

"You're not going anywhere, Tommy, without me. And I'm not going anywhere."

During the day, Tommy worked in the kitchen, and Jared worked in the laundry across the hall from the kitchen. Each day, Jared would wait for Tommy and they would go back to their cell together. In the evenings, they had taken to playing chess, at which Tommy became quite proficient. Sometimes, Jared would read to Tommy from the newspaper or from magazines.

Jared talked to Tommy about when they would be released. "Tommy, I'm up for parole in June, and when I get out, I'll come and visit you every day. I know you're due to get out on parole in October. Then when you get out, maybe we can live together, and maybe I can get you into some kind of school. And you'll never have to worry about stealing food again."

"Would you wait for me?"

"Of course, Tommy," said Jared. Then after a long pause, he said, "You remind me of my own son."

"Do you have a son?"

"Yes, I do. Or I did have one, anyway. I wasn't a good father, Tommy. I wasn't a father at all, really. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and what I did to get myself put in here wasn't my only mistake."

"Where's your son now," asked Tommy.

"I don't know. I've only seen him once just after he graduated from high school."

"What's his name?"

"His name is Clayton."

At first, Jared and Tommy slept in their separate beds. Jared had resisted masturbating in front of Tommy and usually waited until Tommy was asleep. One night he called over to Tommy and said, "Tommy, do you ever masturbate?"

"Yeah," came the answer. Jared knew that Tommy masturbated practically every night. But he never let on that he had watched him do it.

"Do you mind if I do it?" asked Jared.

"No. I didn't know you did it."

"Tommy, all men masturbate. It's the only way we can stay alive."

As Jared threw back his sheet and started stroking his hard penis, he saw that Tommy was watching him. He said, "Tommy, would you like to come over here with me? If you would like to masturbate, too, we can do it together."

Without any urging, Tommy went over to Jared's bed and lay down next to him. As he started to fondle his own penis in an effort to get it hard, Jared asked, "What do you think about when you jack off?

"There are some magazines some guys have down on the lower lever that I like to look at. It shows men fucking women."

"Do pictures of men fucking women excite you?"

"Yeah, man. I'd like to fuck a woman sometime. What do you think about, Jared?"

"I think about the same thing. That's the only way a guy can get off. He has to think about having sex."

As Tommy watched Jared stroke faster and faster, Jared came explosively and shot his sperm all across his stomach. He then scooped up some of his cum and sucked it off his fingers. Tommy smiled as he watched this. Then Tommy jacked himself off vigorously and shot his own load, some of it landing on Jared's arm.

"Go ahead, Tommy, if you want to taste it like I did." Tommy scooped up a small amount and tasted it. He like it, and scooped up the rest.

From that evening on, Jared and Tommy masturbated together in one or the other's bed. One night, Tommy said, "I'm glad you don't want to fuck me like those other guys did. I've been thinking. Are you like a real dad? I mean, I never had a dad, and I never seen a real dad. I mean I never seen how a real dad does with a son. When I get out, maybe you can be my dad. I mean . . . you know what I mean."

"Of course, I'll be your dad. I'm really your dad right now. A dad looks after his son and makes sure nothing bad happens to him."

"Is that how you were with Clayton?"

"No, Tommy, that is not how I was with Clayton. I told you I was not a good dad then. I actually abandoned him and his mother. I was not a good dad. But I realize now since you and I have become friends how wrong I was."

"Maybe you'll see him again someday," said Tommy. "Maybe you can be a good dad to him then. Do you think you'll ever see him again?"

"Yes. I am going to see him again when I get out of here. I don't know where he is. But I'm going to find him. And I'm going to try to make things up to him. I'm sure he hates me now, but he'll see how much I've changed and how much I love him. And you and I will stay together, and then I'll have two sons. Maybe then we can all move away from Texas and start a new life together. Maybe Australia."

"Where is that?"

"Australia's on the other side of the world. It's a magic land like nothing you and I have ever seen. I've only seen pictures myself. The first Europeans who were ever there were petty criminals, prisoners from England, who were shipped there to get them out of England. And I have heard that many of the people who live there today, who are descended from those prisoners, are very proud of that heritage. If we go there, we will also be prisoners who are there to be out of everyone's way."

"I've never been outside of Texas and New Mexico," said Tommy. "Do you think we can really go there?"

"I think we can," said Jared as he and Tommy hugged tightly.

One day, when Jared had finished his work at the laundry, he waited in the hallway for Tommy so they could take their usual walk together back to their cell. Finally, Tommy came out and told Jared to go back to his cell without him. He said the supervisor in the kitchen wanted to talk with him and several other workers about some new procedures.

When Jared returned to his cell, he set up the chessboard, ready for a new game. After an hour had passed, he became concerned over the fact that Tommy had not returned. He stood at the bars of his cell and looked both ways down the corridor to see if he could spot Tommy on his way. When the other prisoners were quiet enough, footsteps on the steel flooring could be heard from a long distance away. After two hours had passed, Jared stood at the bars and called for the guard as loud as he could. The shift change would not be for another half hour. No one came in response to his calls. He decided to wait until the shift change to call again.

After the change had occurred, Jared called again. Another half hour went by before one of the guards came slowly down the hall.

"What the fuck are you yellin' about?" growled the guard.

"I need to know where Tommy is. You know the kid that shares my cell."

"Oh, haven't you heard?" said the guard. "He's dead. A couple of other prisoners beat the shit out of him and they broke his neck. Seems he tried to steal a candy bar from one of 'em."

"What! That can't be true!" screamed Jared. "He was just working in the kitchen and said he had to see his supervisor and would be right up!"

"What's the matter, mate? Ya ain't got a little twinky to fuck any more?"

"I never laid a hand on that boy," shouted Jared. "Not in that way."

"Well, anyway," snarled the guard, "maybe we'll be able to find ya another little ass to fuck. So calm down."

"I want to see him. Please take me wherever he is. I need to see him!" shouted Jared.

"I told ya to calm down. You into fuckin' dead bodies now? I told ya, we'll git ya another one. There are several new young assholes that just came in the place the other day. We'll git ya one them."

"Please let me see him!" Jared pleaded.

The guard shook his head as he started to walk away. "Fuckin' dead bodies! They sure is hard up!" Jared could hear the guard's laughter echoing in the hall as he disappeared from sight.

Jared's knees became weak, and he slumped to the floor, still holding onto the bars. He called at the top of his lungs, "Tommy! Tommy!" He could hear Tommy's name echoing back at him throughout the cell block. "Tommy! Tommy!"

Jared crawled over to Tommy's cot and buried his face in his pillow. As he sobbed, he said aloud, "Oh, Tommy, I know you didn't try to steal anything. I hope you know that I know you didn't try to steal anything!"

As Jared lay there, he couldn't believe that Tommy was really dead. Tommy was now his son. Something like this could never happen. Jumping up again, he ran to the bars and called as loud as he could, "Guard! Guard!"

In a few minutes, the same guard came down the hall. "What the fuck is it now? Can't ya just jerk off tonight. I can't git ya anything to fuck until tomorrow!"

"No, no," shouted Jared. "Please take me so I can see him. Please!" Jared begged. "If I had some money, I would give it all to you! Please, sir. Please!"

"Aw, shit!" said the guard. "I'll see what I can do."

After the guard departed, Jared fell back on Tommy's bed and stared at the ceiling, still unbelieving. Soon the guard returned.

"Sorry, they tell me there ain't no way you can see the body. But the attendant in the morgue gave me these if you want proof."

The guard threw a bundle of clothes in through the bars onto the floor and departed. They were Tommy's shirt and pants and underwear, along with his work shoes. Jared picked up the bundle and, sitting down, slowly went through it. He held each piece up to his face and could smell Tommy on each of them. There was blood soaked through on the collar of his shirt. He lay on Tommy's cot with his clothes pressed tightly against him.

Jared began talking aloud as though Tommy could hear him. "Tommy, I'm going to find my son, Clayton, when I'm out of here. And the three of us are going to Australia. You're going to have a brother, Tommy. It'll just be your new dad and you and Clayton. And we'll always be together."

Jared felt himself drift into that peculiar feeling of half slumber in which dreams fade in and out of reality. Clutching Tommy's clothes, he said, "You'll always be with me. You'll always be . . . ." He was soon asleep.
 

To be continued...