My Father, My Son
by: Tom Borden

© 2000-2008 by the author


The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...


Michael heard the bolt sliding open, and Karl opened the door just a crack, reaching his hand out to take the plans. The rolls were too large, and Michael pushed the door slightly to open it further. There on the bed, he could clearly see Maggie, naked and struggling to get the sheet pulled up over her. Shocked, Michael dropped the plans onto the floor and hurried back to his own room. Throwing himself on his bed and burying his face in his pillow, he thought, "What a fool! My God, what a fool! At my age, how can I be so stupid!"

Then getting up and going to the window and looking out over the land that now looked so uninviting and cold, he murmured, "Oh, Jeff, I miss you so much. Why couldn't you stay here with me?"


Chapter 13 


During Karl's first night back at the Walker Ranch, an unseasonably cool "Norther" blew into the state and, for the first time that winter, Maggie fired up the several oil heaters in the house before preparing breakfast for the workers. Karl, still in his robe, soon emerged from his room and wandered through the kitchen and out onto the back verandah. Dark clouds were moving rapidly overhead and the humid air was heavy with the odors of livestock and wet hay. To Karl the atmosphere was welcoming and exotic compared to the noises and smells of the city.

Karl returned to the kitchen and sat at the table. "Maggie, where's Michael this morning. I went by his door and he was obviously dressed and gone."

"Michael left the house quite early this morning and I saw him ride off that way on his horse." Maggie pointed to the west, as she continued stirring a large pot of oatmeal. "He didn't wait for breakfast and he didn't say anything at all. He just walked out without looking at me."

"I was hoping that Michael and I could talk about our partnership agreement this morning." After a long pause, Karl said, "I know he saw us last night through the door. I'm sure he got the wrong impression."

"What do you mean by 'the wrong impression, Karl?'"

"Maggie, it probably looked to him like we were lovers or something; you know, just because you were lying in my bed and all that."

Maggie turned abruptly to face Karl. "Well, we are lovers. If we're not lovers, I don't know what you'd call it."

"We were just having fun, Maggie, getting each other off."

"Oh! So I've just been a convenient piece of ass for you, is that it?"

"Aw, c'mon, Maggie," said Karl reaching over and patting Maggie on the butt. "What made you think we were lovers?"

"Well, when you fucked me, you acted like you enjoyed it!"

"I did, Maggie! But that doesn't mean . . . ."

"Oh, I get it, Karl. You'd just enjoy fucking anything that's got a hole in it! Perhaps you ought to try fucking an old cow out there in the barn, or that old mare in the horse barn. Or why not try an old settin' hen. I hear they're really tight and give great orgasms! Ever fucked an animal, Karl? You know, you wouldn't have to worry about one of them falling in love with you! You can just fuck away at your heart's content and then walk away with no regrets!"

"Maggie! Please! Why are you so cheeky this morning, or should I say bitchy? You're not trying to tell me you've fallen in love with me?"

Collapsing in a chair on the opposite side of the table, Maggie looked at Karl with tears in her eyes.

"No, no. I won't tell you I've fallen in love with you. I haven't any right to fall in love with anyone."

Then getting up and walking to the window, she said. "I've learned a lot about myself since I've been down here. I do, though, have two things—and only two things—going for me. A very good cook book, and a nice tight asshole." Maggie looked down at Karl. "It wasn't long after I arrived at this godforsaken place when I was lured out there in the fields somewhere and was able to please every damned ranch hand in the place when they raped me. I pretty well knew it wasn't me they wanted. It was my asshole. They all raved about the orgasms they were able to achieve. But never once have I ever had anyone want to put his arms around me and look into my eyes and tell me he loved me, or wanted me, or needed me. I'm a lot older than you, Karl, and I'm getting older all the time. I've given up thinking anyone will ever . . . . Oh, well, help yourself to the oatmeal. I don't feel like eating."

Maggie ran out of the kitchen, and Karl could hear her bedroom door slam. Without eating, he went into Jeff's room and put on his jeans and boots. On his way out of the house, he passed through the parlor where Enrique was sitting on the sofa, just waking up.

"Hey, Karl," yawned Enrique. "Where's Michael?"

"I don't know, Enrique. I haven't seen him since last evening."

"I thought he slept with you."

"What makes you think he slept with me?"

"Oh, I don't know. Everybody thought you were going to sleep together when you came here."

When Karl walked back out onto the back verandah, the clouds seemed to be darkening and looking more angry. A light rain was starting to fall and the wind began blowing in short gusts. A new young ranch hand by the name of Luke and some of the other hands were closing and securing the shutters on the windows in both the cow barn and the horse barn. They brought long canvas shades down from the roof of the chicken coop and secured them to the foundation in order to protect this open-sided building from the rain and wind.

Michael had awakened early—before the sun rose—and still distraught over his sudden knowledge the night before that Karl and Maggie were sleeping together, saddled up a horse before any of the ranch hands were up and rode out to the farthest reaches of the ranch. He had an overwhelming need to be alone and to think. He knew that the best solution to the problems of the ranch was to bring in a partner such as Karl. But he also did not deny to himself that he was strongly attracted to Karl, and that attraction was one of the primary reasons that he so readily agreed to enter into the partnership. When he had been with Karl, the loneliness he had felt after Jeff moved away seemed to evaporate. And he had been so certain that the two of them could become lovers. Now, Michael realized he had been a fool to think that would ever happen.

Michael had tied his horse to the trunk of a Mesquite Tree near a stream and was sitting on the grass when he felt the first drops of rain and felt the wind suddenly pick up. It wasn't far to the little house he had built on the knoll in the grove of Cottonwoods. Spurring his horse to a gallop, he reached the house just as the sky opened up with a torrent of rain, lightning and a clap of thunder. Since there was no shelter for his horse, Michael led him into the house and secured the reins to the front door handle. Throwing himself on the bed, he lay there, staring at the ceiling and listening to the pounding of the rain on the roof and against the large front window with each gust of wind.

Back at the main house, Karl ran over to Luke and asked him if he had seen Michael leave and if he knew where he was going. Luke had not seen Michael, but had noticed that Michael's horse was gone when he got up and came out to the barn to secure it.

Karl shouted, "Luke, could you saddle up a horse for me? I've got to go out and look for him. The storm looks like it's building. I hope nothing has happened to him. I can't believe he would stay out there in the fields knowing that a storm like this is brewing."

Luke shouted back, "Take the jeep, instead, Karl. There's no point in taking a horse out there in this weather!"

Karl ran to the jeep and headed off in the direction that Maggie had pointed to earlier. As he drove, he saw no sign of Michael and his horse. But looking up, he saw something that made chills run up his spine. Descending slowly from a very dark cloud was the hint of a funnel like shape. Slowly getting longer, it seemed to wave about in the same way a cow's udder would swing as she walked. Stopping the jeep, he could see that the funnel was coming in his general direction. Turning around, he raced back to the house. All the ranch hands, including Maggie and Enrique were standing outside watching the funnel cloud getting blacker and wider and longer. It seemed to be moving from side to side, but not any closer to the ranch buildings. Then, without warning, it started its slow movement toward them. Everyone ran to a depression along the road leading out of the yard and lay flat on their stomachs. The sound of the tornado became louder and louder. Everyone had their faces covered and no one could tell where it was headed. The roar was almost deafening, and suddenly came the sickening sound of wood splintering and debris falling.

As the tornado moved away, everyone rose to their feet and looked around. There was no damage to be seen, until one of the workers noticed that the woodshed was gone. The entire shed, as well as every stick of wood in it, had been carried away leaving no trace.

Karl shouted to Luke that they had to go out and look for Michael. They drove along the perimeter of the ranch for about fifteen minutes, and then began to zig-zag across the interior of the ranch. It was not long before they came upon a trail of debris. Looking to the east, they saw the knoll in the Cottonwoods. But only two splintered walls remained of the house that once stood there. Racing to the scene, Karl and Luke tore through the debris, throwing splintered beams and trusses to the side in the fear that Michael might have sought shelter there and was now trapped in the rubble.

They soon discovered Michael's body, covered with blood. He appeared to be dead, but Karl felt a pulse. He was only unconscious.

"Luke," he commanded. "Ride back to the house and call 911. I'll wait here and watch Michael until the paramedics come."

"Maggie, Maggie!" shouted Luke as he jumped from the jeep and ran toward the house. "Call 911. Michael's been badly injured and his house on the knoll is down! Hurry!"

Maggie ran out onto the verandah screaming and waving her arms. "Oh, my God, Michael's hurt? Oh, my God, Oh, my God!"

"Maggie! Please! Call 911 right now! When they come, send them to the knoll! I'm going back there now!"

Enrique was in the kitchen eating breakfast when he heard what happened. He ran from the house and jumped into the jeep with Luke just as he sped off again, returning to the knoll.

"Is Michael going to be okay, Luke?"

"I don't know, Ricky. It looks like he's pretty badly hurt."

Enrique started to cry and leaned his head against Luke's shoulder. Luke put his right arm around Enrique's shoulders and pulled him tightly against him.

"Try not to worry, Ricky. Maggie's called 911 and I'm sure they'll come and help him."

When the paramedics arrived, they secured a neck brace on Michael to hold his head steady in case of a neck injury. They spent several minutes bracing his body and then lifted him onto a stretcher and into the ambulance. Karl rode with him to the hospital, while Luke and Enrique followed in the jeep.

Maggie put a call into Jeff in Austin and left a message on his answering machine. When Jeff returned to his apartment at noon and listened to the message, he called Paul. Paul's last class was over at 2:00 p.m., at which time they would both drive back to the ranch.

Karl, Luke, and Enrique waited at the Goliad hospital until word came to them that they could go in, only one at a time, to see Michael. He had regained consciousness, but because of heavy sedation, was asleep. It was revealed that Michael had multiple head wounds, a broken arm, broken glass embedded in his face, chest and arms, and a severe stomach wound, together with cuts and abrasions over his entire body. He had lost a great deal of blood, and the doctors considered his condition "Grave," which Karl knew was the worst possible prognosis, even worse than "Critical."

Karl was the last to go in. Taking his hand, Karl looked intently into Michael's swollen face and whispered, "Don't leave us, Michael. My God, don't leave us. I had . . .or I have . . .so much to tell you. I know why you had gone off to your house in the Cottonwoods so early this morning. It was because of what you saw last night, wasn't it?"

Karl softly ran his hand over Michael's eyes and forehead. "Oh, Michael. Please. Everything is my fault."

Enrique ran off to visit Corky, who was still confined to his hospital bed on the next floor up. Jeff and Paul soon arrived at the hospital and were given a full report by the doctors. In the late afternoon, the five of them went back to the ranch where Maggie was preparing supper for them. Jeff told Paul that before supper he wanted to go up to the knoll and see how badly Michael's house was damaged. Karl went with them. They stood on the embankment in front of where the house was. Jeff remembered the supremely happy times when he and his dad had rolled arm in arm naked down this embankment through the cool grass and made love with each other. Suddenly Jeff's eyes filled with tears.

"Why did I ever leave him? He's been hurt so much. He did his best to hide his sadness and loneliness when I moved away, his own brother hates him, and now he's lost this beautiful house, this hide-a-way that he built and loved so much."

Paul put his arms around Jeff and they held on to each other tightly.

Then looking at Karl, he said, "And he was so happy when he thought you were coming into his life as his partner. He was looking forward so much to your being really close friends. He talked about you like . . . . Oh, Karl, you really hurt him."

Karl stood shocked, unable to say a word. They all rode back to the house in silence and that silence continued through supper.

Later Karl found Jeff sitting alone on the front verandah. "Jeff, I think we need to talk about some things."

"Pull up a chair, Karl. You looked earlier like you didn't know what I was talking about."

Karl sat for a long time looking into the distance before saying anything. "Jeff, I know how close you are to your father. I suppose it's no surprise to you that I know about your relationship with each other. I'm sorry you think that I hurt Michael. I don't know how I could have hurt him; it was truly the last thing that I ever wanted to do. You need to know why things have happened the way they have."

Jeff said nothing, but continued to sip on his coffee, looking expressionless across the horizon.

"There's no point in holding back the truth. When I first met your dad, it was for the purpose of evaluating the possibility of my father's firm purchasing this ranch. But I don't think I had ever been impressed with any man, in so many ways, as I was with your dad. I wanted to be his friend, and I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to be so close to him that . . . . Well, you know, I was . . . I am . . . very attracted to him. And to be perfectly frank with you, I wanted to spend my life with him."

Jeff turned and looked angrily at Karl. "What are you talking about? The minute you arrived, you invited Maggie into your bed. You have a strange way of showing how attracted to Michael you are or how much you wanted to spend your life with him."

"Jeff, Maggie and me . . . . It wasn't what it looked like. It was just . . ."

"Karl, let me tell you about my father. Yes, he was lonely when I left. But you should have seen him when you suddenly came into his life. He told me that when he was with you he wasn't lonely anymore. He thought you were a gift from Heaven. He couldn't stop talking about you. And to be bold-faced honest with you, he wanted to be your lover. But he was afraid you wouldn't stay here if he revealed his feelings for you. Then, of course, when he realized that Maggie was taking up residence in your bed, at your invitation, he suffered the worst sort of hurt you could ever have dealt him."

Karl could hardly believe what he had just heard. Could Michael feel the same about him as he felt about Michael?

"Jeff, I was afraid to let Michael know how I felt because I was so afraid that he would be turned off and not want to have me here. I only played around with Maggie because she was available and she practically threw it in my face. I had no loyalties to any other man at that time." Then after a long pause, "You mean that Michael actually fell for me as much as I fell for him?"

Karl stood up, walked down the steps to the lawn in front of them, threw his head back, and began to stumble around in circles and wave his arms above his head as though he was throwing himself into total abandon. He was now laughing harder and harder, and shouting, "I can't believe it! I can't believe it!"

Jeff stood up, with a faint smile on his face. "Okay, Karl. Believe it! And you had better be at his bedside first thing in the morning holding his hand when he wakes up. There will be nothing, I suspect, that will bring him back to life quicker than to know how you honestly feel about him.

Jeff and Paul decided to sleep in Michael's room, leaving Karl in Jeff's old room. Karl sat on the edge of his bed feeling great regret that his sexual episodes with Maggie had become known and caused such distress. At the same time, he felt an almost indescribable excitement over having learned of Michael's feelings for him. Just then, Maggie appeared at the door in her blue chiffon negligee.

Peeking coyly around the half open door, Maggie purred, "Hi, sweetheart. Can I come in? Are you decent—I hope not?"

"Maggie, I don't think we should be doing this anymore."

"Oh, Karl, I know what you told me. I'm just a convenient piece of ass. I understand that now, and I promise I'll really try not to fall in love with you. We'll just continue to have fun and let it go at that."

"No, Maggie. We're just not going to do it anymore."

"Is there someone else, Karl."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is."


"Maggie, please! It's not something I need to discuss with you. I'm sorry. Please leave me alone, Maggie. I'm sorry."

"I promise not to say 'I love you'."


"Okay! I'll never bother you again. I hope you have a wonderful life!"

Maggie threw her head back in a gesture of defiance and spite and slammed the door shut.

Karl fell back on the bed and began dreamily musing upon what it will be like to have Michael in his arms, pressed against his body. He felt the tightness between his legs begin to take hold of him. Looking down, he could actually see the bulge as it grew larger. He lay directly opposite a full length mirror on the wall. Still lying down, but facing the mirror, he never remembered seeing himself at that angle. Undoing his belt and unzipping, he allowed his erect penis to jump up free of constraint. He had to smile at the sight of his hard-on and balls at that angle. Slipping his pants off and lifting his legs high in the air, he could see his asshole clearly. He had to admit to himself that it was one of the sweetest looking pink assholes he'd ever seen. He thought if only he could twist himself around to get his lips and tongue on it. And he laughed aloud when he thought how great it would be if his cock were long enough that he could bend it around and actually fuck himself. What a sight that would be in the mirror to fuck and be fucked at the same time with no one else in the room but himself. Jumping up, he went into his suitcase and took out his vibrating dildo. Lying back again, he covered it with KY and slowly inserted it into himself. What an erotic sight that was. As he pushed it in and out, he imagined it to be Michael's cock. Leaving it inside of him pressed against his prostate with the vibrator on, he began slowly to stroke his own penis. He could see in the mirror his balls draped down over the dildo. Just the sight of himself at that angle brought him to the verge of orgasm.

Karl had always loved the taste of sperm. Frequently when he would be fucked, he would always ask that his partner pull out at the last minute and shoot his cum into his mouth. Eating his or another guy's sperm was always the height of pleasure for Karl. He once went with Tony, the chauffeur, as a guest one night to Tony's Jack-Off Club in New York. While Karl lay on the floor, Tony and nine of his jack-off friends stood around him and jacked off and shot their sperm, almost simultaneously, onto Karl's face and into his mouth. It was an exciting memory that Karl never forgot.

Karl was not able to suck his own penis, but he had trained himself to stand on his shoulders with his back up against the wall or a headboard in such a way that his cock was only inches away from his mouth. Not wanting to waste the sperm that he could feel was about ready to blow, he got into position, with his vibrating dildo still up into his rectum and, with only two or three strokes, he shot several long streams of sperm into his mouth. He held it in his mouth and let it slowly run down his throat.

Karl opened the door slightly to see if there was anyone about and then walked naked down the hall to the bathroom to wash off the sperm that had splattered on his cheek and hair. Passing by the door to the back parlor, Karl saw Enrique lying completely naked on the sofa jacking off. He stood watching this adorable young, brown-skinned boy slowly stroking his hard penis. Enrique was totally lost in the moment and was completely unaware of Karl's presence. Karl felt himself becoming aroused again as he watched Enrique's slender, perfectly shaped legs stretching and tensing and relaxing as he stroked. His small hips would rise and fall as though he were thrusting his hard rod into an imaginary asshole. Then Karl could hear Enrique begin to talk softly to himself as he stroked faster and faster.

"Oh, Corky, take my cock. Take it all. Open your asshole to me, Corky. I'm gonna come inside of you, Corky. I'm coming now. Take it all. Oh, Corky, take it all."

Enrique's body stiffened. Karl could see the smooth muscles in Enrique's arms and legs tighten. As he watched, he thought what a dear, sweet, beautiful young boy Enrique was. He thought that whoever this guy named Corky was, he was a lucky, lucky fellow. Enrique let out a long passionate sounding moan as stream after stream of thick white sperm shot from his hard penis onto his chest and stomach. As Enrique's orgasm subsided, Karl could see the muscles in his body begin to relax. With one leg now draped over the side of the sofa with his foot resting on the floor, Enrique's body looked so delicate and soft, Karl had to fight the urge to go over to him and kiss and caress him. Instead, he continued down the hall to the bathroom.

In the meantime, as Jeff lay on Michael's bed, he watched Paul undress. "Paul, take off your clothes real slowly and rub your body all over while you do it like you're getting yourself all worked up. I get so hot watching you do that."

Paul obliged by doing a kind of male strip act for Jeff. When he got down to his jockey shorts, he ran his hand down inside, rubbing his hard cock and moaning with pleasure. Turning around and pulling them down slightly to reveal his ass crack, he ran his finger through it and in and out of his ass hole. Jeff lay there stroking his cock as he watched. Paul came over and, starting at Jeff's feet, began to lick every inch of his legs, swirling the hair on them with his tongue into patterns. The feel of Paul's tongue was driving Jeff closer and closer to orgasm. Soon Paul's tongue swirled around Jeff's balls. Bringing his tongue slowly up the underside of Jeff's gorged penis, he sucked the entire shaft into his mouth just as Jeff's cock exploded and shot hot streams of sperm down Paul's throat.

As Jeff's orgasm subsided, he let his head hang over the side of the bed, and Paul stood on the floor, straddling Jeff's face. Jeff felt his face pressed into Paul's crotch where he could breath in the strong, intoxicating smell of Paul's sweat and suck on the long hair that grew in Paul's ass crack. Jeff loved a hairy crotch. Paul also had very hairy balls, which Jeff's tongue explored as though they were delicate oysters. As Paul reveled in the feel of Jeff's tongue exploring every inch of his crotch, ass crack and balls, he jacked off his dick as hard as he could. He tried to hold off cumming in order to prolong the marvelous sensations Jeff was giving him with his tongue, but there was no holding back. With a growling moan, he shot stream after stream of his hot thick sperm onto Jeff's chest. Just as his orgasm faded, he felt like he had to fart. He struggled to hold it back until he could climb off of Jeff's face. Just as he did, he let go with a rolling fart that never seemed to end.

Paul said, "My God, Jeff, I'm so sorry!"

"Well, Paul," Jeff said with a smile. "If you'd farted a couple of seconds sooner, I really would have had an experience to remember! And, Paul, don't think I'm gross. But I think I would have liked it because it was from you!"

Paul just said, "Oh shit, no, Jeff. Go get yourself cleaned up."

Karl was in the bathroom, standing and taking a good long pee into the toilet. Suddenly, the door opened and in stepped Jeff, also naked, with several large globs of white sperm on his chest that was beginning to run down his stomach. When Karl saw this, and Jeff saw the sperm on Karl's face and hair, they both started to laugh.

"I suppose you've been getting it on with Maggie," sneered Jeff.

"No way, Jeff. Never again. This load was lovingly made by hand!

Jeff stared at Karl. "Well, how the fuck did you get it into your hair?"

Karl laughed. "I stood on my head when I jerked off. Gravity did the rest. You ought to try it sometime."

"Weird," Jeff thought to himself and proceeded to wash himself with a warm wet wash cloth.

Karl was able to get a very good look at Jeff's body and all his parts. The thought crossed his mind that maybe sometime in the future, he could have a three-way with both Michael and Jeff. While he watched Jeff wash off his penis and balls, Karl once again found himself getting hard.

As Jeff was walking out of the bathroom, he looked back and said, "It looks like you're going to have to get rid of another load there, Karl. Don't get it in your hair this time."

Karl rose early the next morning and went into the kitchen to find Jeff, Paul, and Enrique just finishing their breakfast. Maggie filled another bowl with oatmeal and, without looking at him, rather abruptly told Karl to sit down and eat.

Jeff spoke first. "Karl, if you're going to live down on the ranch, you're going to have to get up a lot earlier than this. You'll have to get rid of your city ways. Us country boys get up early. There's too much to do. Eat fast because we'll be leaving for the hospital in a few minutes."

It was now 6:00 a.m., and at the hospital, they found Michael still asleep and under sedation. His face looked like he had angry sores all over it where the doctors picked small splinters of glass from it. They watched as the nurses changed the dressing on his stomach wound. They sat quietly waiting for the doctor to come during his rounds so they could get a first hand report on Michael's condition. Enrique told Jeff that he was going upstairs to visit Corky for awhile, but would be back.

Enrique found Corky lying in bed looking at television. There was still swelling on the side of his head and one eye was still almost swollen shut. Corky had eaten his breakfast, the nurses had come in and bathed him and changed his bed.

When Enrique entered the room, Corky said, "Hi, Ricky! Gosh it's good to see you. Come on over and sit by the bed and keep me company."

"How are you feeling, Corky? Do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, I'm okay now that they let me up so I can walk around. I hate just lying in bed. I already walked up and down the hall a hundred times, it seems like, before you came this morning. But how are you doing, Ricky? Have you talked to Jake?"

"You know, Corky, he got real mad at me for being with you. I told him I didn't like the way he treated you and that you are my friend. I'm not sleeping in his room anymore."

"Is he really upset about that?"

"He sure is. I sleep now on the sofa in the big house and he came after me one night, and Jeff threw him out and told him to go back to his own room and leave me alone. You know, I don't hate Jake. He's a really good person and has been really nice to me. But he doesn't have any business hurting you when you and I didn't do anything."

Corky reached over and took Enrique's hand. "Ricky, I'm sure you know that if Jake had not come out there and found us, something probably would have happened. Would that have bothered you?"

"No it wouldn't. I like Jake, but he doesn't own me. I can still do anything I want."

"Ricky, would you want to do things with me? I mean . . . you know . . . if Jake hadn't found us, would you have done things with me . . . out there?

Enrique stood up and laid his head on Corky's pillow with his face only an inch or two from Corky's.

"Corky, ever since you picked me up out of the hay loft and rescued me from that fire, I have thought so much about you. You held me so tightly when you carried me down that ladder. I never wanted you to let me go. I think about you at night when I . . . . Corky, when you get well and come back home, could I live with you in your room? I know you don't have a roommate."

Corky pulled Enrique's head toward him and kissed him on the forehead. "Ricky, there is nothing I would like better than to have you live with me in my room. But I'm worried about what Jake would do and say. If he were ever to come after you and hurt you, I'm afraid I would not be responsible for what I would do to him. I would be fully prepared this time to meet his anger head on."

"Corky, where I sleep is a decision made by Michael and Jeff, not Jake. If they say it's okay, then Jake will have to take it."

As Corky held on to Enrique's head, Enrique slipped his hand under the covers and laid his arm across Corky's chest. They both closed their eyes and remained silent and still for a long time, each with his own thoughts.

In Michael's room, the doctor had come and gone after informing Jeff, Paul, and Karl that the prognosis was good. Even though he remained sedated most of the time, the monitors to which he was connected indicated that all his vital signs were good and strong. His stomach wound luckily had not involved damage to any of his internal organs. It was the doctor's view that Michael should be taken off of sedatives that morning, but it would be best, if possible, that someone familiar to him would be in the room when he became fully awake.

Jeff introduced the doctor to Karl and said, "Doctor, this is Karl, one of Michael's close friends. We feel that he would be the best person to stay with my dad."

Leaving Karl with Michael, Jeff and Paul went up to Corky's room to tell Enrique it was time to go. They found both Corky and Enrique asleep. Enrique was now lying full length on top of the sheet next to Corky, with their heads touching, Enrique's arm still across Corky's chest, and Corky's arm under Enrique's head and encircling his shoulders.

"Look at these two, Paul," said Jeff. "Enrique has wanted to be with Corky a lot since that time Corky rescued him from the fire. I don't know what's going to happen with Jake. He loves Enrique so much, but he's so goddamned jealous. Somehow, now that Enrique is getting older, Jake has probably got to find a way to let go and still keep Enrique's respect and friendship. Right now, because Jake has acted so badly, Enrique doesn't want anything to do with him."

Stepping over to the bed, Jeff gently shook Enrique. "Wake up, sleepy head. It's time we get going."

Both Corky and Enrique awoke with a start.

Taking his arm quickly out from under Enrique's head, Corky said apologetically, "Oh, I must have fallen asleep. Ricky came up to see how I was."

"Don't apologize, Corky," said Jeff. "Enrique's been worried about you, and I'm glad he could spend some time with you. We'll be back again tonight."

As the three left the hospital, they met Jake coming up the sidewalk.

Jeff greeted him. "Hi, Jake. Michael will really appreciate your visiting him. He's still pretty groggy from sedatives, but the doctor thinks he will be coming fully awake shortly. Karl is still up there with him."

"Thanks, Jeff," murmered Jake. "While I'm here, I think I'll look in on Corky, too."

"That would be really nice, Jake. I think you should see him. And I think there's a lot you need to tell him."

When Jake entered the room, he found Corky asleep. When he saw what he had done to Corky's face, he brought his hand suddenly up to his mouth with a gasp. Corky opened his eyes and stared at Jake.

"How the fuck are ya, Corky?"

Corky nodded his head slightly, but said nothing.

Pointing at Corky's face, Jake stammered, "Christ, did I do that? Shit, Corky, I didn't mean to do that to ya. I jist fuckin' lost my head. Ricky told me ya didn't do nothin'"

Corky turned his head away.

"Ya know, Corky, somethin' came over me and I jist lost my fuckin' head." Then after a long pause, "I hope yer feelin' better soon."

Looking sharply at Jake, Corky said, "What if I had done something with Ricky, Jake?"

"Did ya?"

"Just tell me, Jake, what if Ricky had told you he and I did do something? Would you have hurt him or maybe killed him? How far, Jake? How far does your ownership of that boy go? He looked upon you as his father. He sometimes even called you his father. And as his father, would you have chained his ankles to the foot board of his bed if you thought he was going to show some friendship with someone else?"

Jake slowly sat down and stared at Corky.

"Jake, Ricky has emotions like all of us, and he has needs. And he has a lot of love to give. He's courteous, he's kind, he's thoughtful, he's everything that any father would be proud of. And if you think of yourself as his father, you shouldn't act like you're his jailer."

Jake knew what Corky was saying. In fact, he had thought long and hard since the incident about his role in Enrique's life. He knew that he had to let the boy go. But he also believed that his own life was now meaningless and pointless, and perhaps at an end. He was getting old and he felt that a decision had to be made shortly as to what he would do.

"Corky, if you had told me right now that you and the little fucker had sex together, I wouldn't have done nothin'. I've been thinkin'. Yer right. I ain't gonna make no more fuss about it. I ain't got any right to hold Ricky down like that." Then with a laugh, he said, "I ain't no good in bed no more anyway. Can't get a fuckin' hard-on like I use ta. What good's a limp noodle when you need a stiff one?"

Corky smiled. "Sounds like you've got a problem, Jake."

"Yup. When I was yer age, I could jerk off or fuck somebody anytime of the day or night. I was fuckin' ready all the time. That old cock of mine's been in a lot a holes, front and back. And it never used to fail me. All I had to do is jist think about somebody's hole, and that old fuckin' cock was right up there hard as a stick. I was probably what you'd call a real stud once."

Jake sat down again and looked sadly out of the window.

"Jake, I'm going to forgive you for what you did to me if you promise me you'll talk to Ricky and tell him how you feel. Tell him you're sorry. And tell him that you understand that he needs to . . . you know . . . not be held so closely any more."

Jake stood up and smiled. "Okay, Corky. Is you and me friends agin?"

"Fuckin' right we are, Jake!"

"Hey, you, I don't like no dirty language 'round me!"

Both laughing, Jake departed and Corky closed his eyes and wondered when he would see Ricky again.

Jake sat in his truck in the parking lot for a long time before starting out. He knew what he had to do, but he owed Ricky an explanation. Before he did anything, maybe he would just write Ricky a note explaining everything. It would be too hard telling him to his face. He knew that Corky had won Ricky's heart and that old Jake would be alone again. He wasn't going to face that. That would be unacceptable. He had endured loneliness for most of his life, but Ricky had briefly changed all that. But now Ricky was going to step out of his life, and he was now going to face that horrible loneliness again.

The dark shadows of late afternoon were stretching over Goliad, and Jake started the truck and drove to Becker's Hardware and Gun Shop. Buying a box of .45 caliber bullets, he climbed back in his truck, took out his little lined note pad he always carried in his breast pocket, and scribbled a note: "Ricky: Whatever happened, I always loved ya, ya little fucker. You gotta move on with yer life now and I'm gonna move on with mine. Yer a good boy, Ricky. Jake."

Jake carefully folded the note over once and laid it on the dash board and started back on the road out of Goliad.

Karl had remained seated next to Michael's bed most of the day. Even though he held Michael's hand and never let go of it, he dozed fitfully from time to time. Suddenly, he felt Michael's fingers begin to move slightly.

"Michael! Michael! Can you hear me? It's Karl. I'm here with you."

Michael's eyes began to flutter and he turned his head slightly.

Karl took Michael's hand in both of his and gently massaged it. When Michael opened his eyes and saw Karl, he smiled the sweetest smile Karl had ever seen. With tears in his eyes, Karl brushed back Michael's hair and spoke softly.

"Michael, it's Karl. I've been with you all day. You've been asleep."

Michael said softly, "I'm so thirsty. Is there some water?"

Karl filled a glass from the water pitcher and held the straw to Michael's lips.

"Karl, what's wrong with me? Am I in the hospital?

"Michael, there was a tornado at the ranch and you were quite badly injured."

"Is everyone else alright?"

"Everyone is fine."

"Was there any damage?"

"No. Nothing to speak of."

Michael closed his eyes and said, "I'm glad you're here, Karl. I'm so glad you're here. Your hand is so warm. Keep holding mine, will you?"

Karl leaned over and kissed Michael on the forehead and said, "I love you, Michael. I love you so much. We almost lost you. I was so afraid."

It was now early evening. Jeff and Paul soon arrived for their evening visit, and were relieved to find Michael awake. Michael's stomach wound was so painful that he was hooked up to morphine, of which he was able to give himself measured doses. The nurse came in and showed him the button to push to release a dose of morphine when he needed it.

Jeff and Paul stayed for about an hour while Michael became more and more awake. They finally kissed Michael goodbye and prepared to depart. But Karl told Jeff that he thought he would stay.

"Jeff, I'm going to stay here tonight in case Michael needs . . . in case Michael . . . needs me or needs me to get something."

"But Karl, you look awfully tired. You need to get some sleep yourself."

"I'll sleep right here in the chair. I just need to be with Michael tonight."

After Jeff and Paul departed, Michael said, "Karl, Take my hand again. Hold it tightly. Please." Then when Karl thought Michael was drifting off to sleep, he was startled when Michael opened his eyes and said, "How's Maggie?"

"I don't know, Michael. I know you're concerned about what you saw the other night. It wasn't what you thought it was. When you get better, Michael, I'll explain everything. Right now, you need to sleep. I'm going to stay here with you all night."

With his words beginning to slur and with his eyes fluttering closed, Michael said, "Thank you, Karl. Would you hold me? Would you kiss me?"

"Of course I will, Michael, but I don't want to hurt you. I'll just hold your hand."

Karl leaned over and very gently kissed Michael on the lips.

Michael whispered softly, "I love you, Karl. Please don't leave."

Michael quickly drifted off to sleep. Karl sat in the chair next to the bed and, holding his hand, watched Michael's face for what seemed like hours. He hardly noticed the red spots where bits of glass had been removed from his face. He reached over and with his finger traced the gentle arch of Michael's eyebrows, ran his finger over his lips, then around his ears. Standing up, Karl gently opened the front of Michael's gown and ran his hand very lightly over the soft hair on his chest. Michael's pecs were firm and round, and the feel of Michael's nipples between his fingers excited Karl more than anything had excited him in a long time. This was the first time Karl ever touched Michael's body, and he suddenly felt himself burning with erotic desire for him.

While Michael slept, Karl spoke softly to him. "Michael, I've got to make you understand it was knowing you that brought me to Texas, and it was you who made me want more than anything to change my life and spend the rest of it with you. I had no idea how you felt about me. I thought it was going to be a long, long time that I would have to spend to bring you around to accepting me as someone who loved you. Maggie was just . . . she called it just a piece of ass . . . and she was right. What you saw, my dear sweet Michael, meant nothing but that."

Karl continued to run his hand over Michael's chest, and was becoming deeply aroused. It was now after midnight, and no one on the night shift had come in. Standing by the bed, Karl reached down with his other hand and unzipped his pants, allowing his gorged penis to flop out unrestricted. He leaned over and kissed and licked Michael's nipples while stroking himself slowly. The feel of his tongue on Michael's chest hair and skin began to bring him to the edge. Unbuckling his pants and letting them drop to the floor, and getting more excited with the thought that someone would come in, he stroked faster and faster. Throwing the sheet back, and opening Michael's gown farther, he exposed Michael's penis and balls. While continuing to stroke his cock, he leaned over and ran his tongue lightly over the penis and then the balls. Then sucking Michael's soft penis into his mouth, he felt his orgasm building and building until he felt his sperm exploding up through his shaft and out the end of his penis in long thick ropes onto Michael's leg. Karl began to feel weak-kneed and as soon as his orgasm subsided, he leaned over quickly, lapping up all his sperm from the soft hair on Michael's leg, then throwing the sheet back over Michael. Karl pulled up his pants and collapsed in the chair. He was soon asleep.

After Jeff and Paul left the hospital, before heading home, they decided to stop off for a couple of beers at the Cock and Bull Lounge, Goliad's version of a "mixed" bar, commonly known by the locals as the Cock and Balls Lounge. One could always count on getting a good blow-job in the Men's Room at the Cock and Balls. A small country-western band was tuning up on a little platform in the corner, while a group of dykes were shooting pool near the back wall.

As Jeff and Paul sat down in a booth, the waiter swished over, wiped off the table with a wet rag and said, "What are you two studs having, besides each other?" As soon as he came near, Jeff and Paul could smell that distinctive, tell-tail smell that everyone has during and right after they have had sex.

Paul made a deliberate sniffing noise and said, "Who the hell did you just fuck, or who just fucked you? You smell like a bucket of cum!"

"None of your business, cowboy. But don't you wish you had some? Or are you just going to have beer?"

When the beers came, Paul asked the waiter, "What kind of action do you have in this dump."

"Well, honey, we have any kind of action you want, and you will kindly not call this establishment a dump. You're a couple of cowboys, aren't you? Your not from town?

Then parodying a Texas red neck, Jeff said, "Nope, we's a couple of cowpokes down from Dallas, and we's lookin' fer somethin' to fuck! Got anythin' worth fucking in this here town?"

"Depends upon what your looking for. And depends upon whether your AC or DC."

"It don't matter none. We're jist lookin' fer a hole to fuck."

"If you can hang around until 2:00 a.m. when I get off, I'll take you both on," said the waiter hopefully.

"No, we ain't got all night. Any action in the Men's Room tonight?"

"There might be. You see the guitarist up there in the pony tail? He loves to give blow jobs. But he don't go after nobody. You gotta go after him yourself. I know he'll go for you two studs."

Paul got up and went over to the guitar player and extended his hand. "Hey, my name's Paul. What's yours?"

"My name's Butch. I seed you two guys come in. You from around here?"

"Yeah, but we need to go take a leak. Can you tell us where the can is?"

"Well, it's right there. Can't you see the sign?"

"No, I'm not sure I see it, Butch. Could you take us there?"

Turning to the other musicians, Butch said, "Let's hold off a few minutes guys. I got a little business to take care of. I'll be right back."

Paul motioned for Jeff to follow as Butch led them into the restroom.

"Okay you guys. You want to get sucked or do you want to fuck me? I'll take it either way."

"We just want to get sucked, Butch."

Butch went into one of the stalls and sat on the toilet. Paul stood before him and dropped his pants. Butch had a rather large, bushy goatee and, as he sucked, it would tickle Paul's balls in a way Paul had never felt before. Butch grabbed Paul's ass cheeks and pulled his hips vigorously toward his face so that Paul was, in effect, fucking Butch's face. Just then, one of the other band members came in and beckoned for Jeff to join him in the next stall. Jeff dropped his pants and, without a word, watched his own penis sucked into the man's eager mouth. For several minutes, there was only the wet slurping sound of penises getting sucked. Both Paul and Jeff were softly moaning with pleasure.

Jeff called over to Paul. "Are you about to cum, Paul?"

"Yeah, Jeff. Let's blow our loads together. Let me know when you feel you're cumming. I can explode anytime you're ready."

Their moaning became louder and more agitated and the slurping became juicier and juicier sounding. Then Jeff yelled, "I'm gonna come now, Paul!"

Paul yelled, "Okay, Jeff, let her blow!"

As they both pumped their sperm into the mouths of the two band members, they each let out what sounded like Tarzan yells with each surge. The little waiter could clearly hear them from the lounge and came running in to watch Paul and Jeff going through the last throes of their orgasms. He quickly dropped his pants and stood there jerking off, shooting his sperm onto the floor, which was already slippery and slimy from the cum of a hundred other guys.

After Paul and Jeff were once again on their way back to the ranch, Paul said, "Jeff, did you see the luscious little bare ass on that little waiter? I'd really like to fuck that little ass sometime. Maybe you and I can work on that some night."

Jeff smiled and said, "I'm ready anytime you are."

After Jake had left Goliad, several miles outside of town, he pulled his truck off into a wooded area and parked it about thirty feet from the road. He got out and walked over to a clump of bushes and sat on the ground. He had taken his .45 out of the glove compartment and proceeded to load several bullets into a clip. After inserting the clip, he laid the gun on his lap, leaned his head against a tree and closed his eyes. Thoughts of his mother passed through his mind. He hoped that Ricky would never lose his mother's gold chain and that Ricky would remember him whenever he wore it. He felt like crying, but no tears came. He never believed that this would be how he would die. He had always believed that no one should ever have to die alone. But here he was alone with no one to say goodbye or hold his hand. But no mater. There could be no other way.

"Hey, mister."

Jake opened his eyes, thinking that he had heard someone's voice.

"Hey, mister. Is this yer truck?"

There standing before him was a tall, lanky young man, unshaven with long stringy blond hair. He was dressed only in a t-shirt and jeans. He wore cowboy boots and hat. He had a back pack slung over one shoulder. Jake was totally unprepared for this intrusion and just stared at the boy.

"Is this yer truck?" the boy repeated. "I've been tryin' to git a ride, but no one wants to stop and it's gittin' pretty cold out."

Jake finally was able to speak. "Where ya goin', boy?"

"I dunno. I thought I'd head out to El Paso maybe."

"Is that yer home?"

"Naw. I ain't got no place I calls home. I jist go where I can git work."

The sun was almost down, and Jake could see the young man was cold and shivering. He didn't know what to do. He had prepared himself for taking his own life, but this young man standing in front of him clearly needed help.

Jake didn't say anything. He just stared at the ground, trying to think what to do. After awhile he said, "I guess I can drive ya down the road a ways, but I can't git ya as far as El Paso."

"I appreciate it, mister."

Jake thought he couldn't very well do what he intended to do with this kid standing there. He slowly stood up and motioned to the boy to follow him to the truck. Jake put his gun back into the glove compartment and they started out. The boy was shivering so noticeably that Jake put on the heater.

They drove in silence for a short way until Jake asked, "Don't you have a fuckin' sweater or jacket or somethin' in that bag yer carryin'? And, Christ, yer nothin' but skin and bones. No wonder yer cold. Have ya eaten anything today?"

"Naw, I don't have no sweater. And I ain't eaten nothin' today. I'm hungry, but there are a lot of days I don't eat nothin'."

Jake pulled into a gas station in which there was a small café. "C'mon, I'll git ya somethin' to eat. C'mon, boy. I'm ready to eat somethin', too."

By this time, Jake had almost forgotten about what he had been about to do back in the woods. He started to feel sorry for this young man, who seemed to have nothing—no job, no money, no food, no companion and literally no life.

Jake ordered hamburgers for both of them. Looking at this pathetic creature sitting across from him, he asked, "What's yer name, son?"

"My name is Josiah."

"Josiah's a good name. Did you know Josiah was the king of Judah once, and he was a very virtuous man. Yeah, Josiah's a real good name. Have ya got any folks, Josiah?"

Josiah sat quietly and didn't answer. Jake didn't push it. The boy obviously didn't want to answer any questions. They continued to sit and eat in silence. Then Josiah started to talk.

I dunno who my folks were. I was jist an orphan who got bumped around to a bunch of foster families and juvenile homes down in Brownsville. I hated 'em all. When I finally turned eighteen a few years ago, I took off."

"Well, how do ya live? I mean, how do ya make a fuckin' livin' fer yerself?"

"I jist git odd jobs wherever I can git 'em. I don't stay no place too long cuz people tries to take advantage of me sometimes. Not so much now, but when I was in foster homes, I got beaten a lot and some people made me do sex things with them. I jist don't trust nobody."

"Josiah, have ya ever worked on a ranch before?"

"Yeah, lot's of times. I do their shit jobs for 'em. The last place I worked, they made me sleep in the barn cuz they didn't trust me. They thought I was gonna steal somethin' if I slept in the bunkhouse. I guess I can't blame 'em. Nobody don't trust a drifter."

Jake felt his paternal instincts come once again to the fore. "Ya know, I work on a ranch. I'm the Foreman on a ranch not far from here. If ya want to stick around this part of the countryside a little longer, I can git ya a nice payin' job for awhile if ya want it. Work ain't never easy on a fuckin' ranch, but I wouldn't make ya do shit jobs.

Josiah looked a little confused and stared at Jake for a long time before he spoke. "Ya know, ya didn't have to buy me this hamburger. You don't even know me. You don't owe me nothin'."

Josiah, I know ya better than you think. I'm not offerin' ya no charity. If ya come to work for me, I'm jist sayin' you ain't gonna get no fuckin' shit jobs and yer gonna git honest money fer honest work."

"I dunno, mister."

"My name's Jake. Call me Jake."

"Ya know, I don't trust nobody." Josiah stared out of the window for a long time and then said, "Well, I might work for ya for a few days. But I'll sleep in the barn and won't be no trouble until I can move on."

"No ya won't, Josiah. If yer workin' fer me, ya sleep in the bunkhouse with the rest of the workers. And we're gonna get ya some warm clothes and some fuckin' meat on them bones of yer's. But if ya don't want none of that, you can sleep in the barn and stay cold. Nobody's gonna give a shit if that's what ya want."

"Okay, okay. I'll try it for a few days. But you understand, I ain't one to hang around. You might jist find me gone some morning."

"I'll take my chances, Josiah. It's yer life and you can come and go as you fuckin' please. Nobody's gonna tie ya down. If ya wana git the fuck away, you can git the fuck away. Nobody's gonna go lookin' fer ya."

Driving on to the ranch with Josiah, Jake almost felt reborn. He had nearly put out of his mind completely the thought of the drastic deed he had almost committed. He had truly been moved to help this young man, who seemed so lost. He knew now, though, that, although he wanted to take Josiah under his wing, so to speak, he could not allow himself to try to dominate him in any way. Josiah was obviously open to having a friend, but definitely not a keeper.

To be continued...


Posted: 08/29/08