Spammer by Anel Viz

“Spammer”

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(Author’s note: In keeping with the theme of Internet spam, I have not given the main character of this story a name.)

6. Kiss and Make Up Again

Except for their frequent rigorous sex play making it harder to get up for work in the morning, he could find nothing to fault in their new living arrangements, and Norm appeared satisfied with them as well. If people noticed they were a little groggy and bleary-eyed, no one said anything about it. At least it wasn’t like that every morning.

After what you’d call a month’s honeymoon, together twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, they began spending some of their time apart. Norm hung around with old school friends some evenings and went on a couple of dates. He went back to exercising at the gym and picked up a longstanding flirtation he’d been carrying on with one of the divorced women at the plant, who’d been his date at the New Year’s party.

“I thought you’d forgotten all about me,” she said. “And don’t expect me to go to bed with you now that you’ve got a roommate.”

He didn’t know how to take that, or what to answer. “What do you think we do together?”

“Just look at you! Like you’d been punched in the stomach! Don’t worry, nobody thinks either of you is gay. I was only joking. No, not entirely. I don’t like the idea of having sex with a man when there’s someone in the next room to hear us.”

“We’ve never had sex anyway. What made you think we’d start now?”

“Did you hear me? It was a joke. Let’s just forget about it, huh? Pretend I never said it.”

He pretended, but he didn’t forget. He made his nothing-will-come-of-this pursuit of her a little more obvious, for the benefit of anyone who might be harboring some doubts about him, Norm, and their living arrangements.

One Saturday in mid-March Norm took Cindy on what must have been their fourth or fifth date, came home with her, and they disappeared into the bedroom he never used. A fair amount of giggling followed. He thought it would be less embarrassing for her – and himself – if he weren’t in the living room to face her when they finally came out, and went to bed early.

But he could still hear. To judge by the sounds, Norm deflowered her. No surprise there, her being a virgin, but Norm having sex with a girl put his stomach in knots. Was it because she was female, or would he have felt that way if had been anyone other than him? He didn’t know and didn’t want to think about it.

Norm fucked her twice more before the night was over, and the third time gave her real pleasure. Her vocalizations spoke for themselves. He drove her home around three in the morning, then came back and crawled into bed.

“Haven’t you had enough for one night?” he asked, trying to make it sound like teasing. But it came out gruff, resentful, and Norm heard it.

“What’s with you? This is where I always sleep. I like sleeping with you. I thought you knew that.”

“You could at least shower instead of coming to bed smelling of her. I’m not into women, remember?”

“Will you let me in your bed if I take a shower first?”

“It’s our bed. And yes, you can sleep here.”

“Should I put on pajamas?”

“Do as you like.”

He rolled over, his back to the center of the bed, and pretended to be asleep when Norm got out of the shower.

“You’re not fooling me. I know you’re up.”

“Can we discuss this in the morning? I’m not in the mood right now.”

“What’s there discuss? You knew I had girlfriends. Did you think I was a hundred percent gay or something?”

He sat up in bed. Norm was standing beside it, the towel over his shoulder. He didn’t much relish talking about it, but at least he’d enjoy the scenery.

“How was I to know after the last couple of months? What do you think you are? Bi?”

“I can get it up with a woman, can’t I?”

“That doesn’t mean anything. So could I, as far as I know. The question is why you get it up. To prove something, or because women turn you on?”

“Oh, come off it.”

“No, really. Did making out with Cindy make you all horny or did you want to get in her pants to make you feel you’re the macho man? It isn’t who you have sex with that matter, it’s who you want to have sex with. Or do you just want to have sex?”

“I don’t think I deserve this.”

“I’m just asking a question. If you had to choose right now between me and Cindy, who would you choose?”

“You, in a heartbeat. Because you’re better in bed than any girl I’ve ever been with, not that any of them have had half as much experience.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“And because I love you. Does that make me gay?”

Those four words alone drained away all his anger. Four – the “because” was said more than the other three. It didn’t matter if Norm was gay or straight or bi or anything else an adult male can be. That loving him was the reason he had sex with was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.

“I don’t know if it means you’re gay. You can be whatever you want, as long as I don’t lose you.”

“You were jealous?”

“More scared than jealous. Scared of losing you.”

“Did it hurt that much?”

“It was agony. I was crying. Can you believe that?”

Norm nodded. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Will you do something for me, Norm? If you ever feel you have to screw some chick again, will you take her to a motel?”

“Why would I, when I have a place of my own?”

“Tell her I won’t let up with the obscene comments the next morning. Tell her I tease you about it.”

“Kiss and make up?”

“Kiss only. No sex.”

“That’s the last thing I’m up to, but if you want I’ll spread my legs for you.”

“Not if you don’t want it. I won’t rape you again. Just a kiss and a hug.”

But their kiss was as deep and long and passionate as any lovemaking, and Norm did spread his legs.

Posted: 10/03/08