Finding Me
By: Jeremy Michaels
(© 2021 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
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Chapter 5

Eric  

Marc and I are lying in bed the next morning together and I’m using Marc’s chest for a pillow while playing with the hairs of his treasure trail. My attraction towards Hamilton High School’s resident bad boy is stronger than ever, if not made worse because of our night together. 

Throughout our time together, I’ve been able to observe numerous details about Marc, such as how he has the curliest and darkest eyelashes I’ve ever seen in my life on a guy and how his hands are so calloused from lifting weights which probably comes in handy for him, given his reputation and his choice of sexual activities. I love how the one corner of his mouth curls and causes the cutest dimple in existence to appear whenever he smiles that bad boy smirk that he knows practically causes me to come in my jeans. 

Those weren't the only details I’ve noticed. I like how his jeans hang so sensually low off his slender hips, accenting his manhood and scrumptious ass. I know that I need to stop daydreaming about Marc because to continue to do so would only drive him crazy. As much as I want him forever, it’ll never be. I belong to Andre and he’ll never let me go. The biggest reason is that Marc’s not ready to accept that he’s gay. To him last night was probably an experience on the wild side and me, just another notch in his belt. I think I knew somewhere deep inside me that last night was all that I would have of Marc, a memory to fuel each mind-blowing session of masturbation, as I fantasize about Marc’s perfectly plump lips wrapped around my cock. Andre would be asleep beside me and yet I wouldn’t be capable of going to sleep? Why? That’s a simple question and the answer was just as simple, that as soon as he closed his eyes, that mischievous smirk and gorgeous blue eyes jumped out at me, as do those lips just begging to be kissed. I inhale his masculinity, his musky scent and make a memory for when he’s no longer a part of my life.

“I love you so much my beautiful bad boy,” I whisper as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

 

Marc  

“How can I call myself a straight guy anymore with all these gay fantasies hijacking my thoughts? So far, I have not only imagined Eric sucking my cock at least a hundred times and then coming over various parts of Eric’s body a hundred times more, but I actually fucked him last night. 

What the fuck were you thinking dude?  You had sex with another dude.” I ask myself.

I try to draw the line and fail miserably when I picture Eric’s ass naked and my dick sliding between those tight round globes while I fucked him. I glance down at my angel sleeping on my chest and I can’t help but smile. He’s everything that’s right, he’s kind, generous to a fault and puts others first.

Admit asshole you’re in love with him. Fuck! When did this happen? You know when, it was when you saw his face and it hit your heart like a runaway freight train. Oh yeah his ass hit your cock hard to.” I finally reason to myself. “I love you angel.”

 

Eric 

I wake up to Marc playing with my hair. I turn my eyes up to his and there it is, that bad boy smirk on his face and it’s directed at me.

“Mmmm good morning my beautiful baby boy,” I tell him and he frowns. “Sorry … reputation,” I reach up and kiss him.

“We got to work on your adjectives baby doll,” he tells me and kisses me heatedly.

“Sweetheart, you’ll always be beautiful to me so deal with it. I promise never to call you that in public, okay?”

“Okay baby doll.”

I get very quiet for a long moment and Marc lifts my chin so our eyes meet.

“What’s wrong angel?”

"What if I decide I want you?" I ask.

There’s a long pause.

“Want me how?”

“Like us being a couple and not just a one night stand.” I clarify.

"I don't know," says Marc, "I guess that is something that we would need to sleep on."

"Or fuck on," I amend and I sit up, I reach back to grab his cock and slowly i impale my ass on nine inches of thick rigid teen cock.

“Fuck babe, you really know how to answer a question,” he says with his hands on my hips guiding my movements.

My ass moves in circles on his manhood, hopping up and down on it while squeezing my inner muscles to bring him and me to the brink. I lower my mouth to his peck and bite his taught, tall nipple, causing him to growl in sexual pleasure. I move to his neck because it’s time that I made my claim. I bite his tender skin and suck it even harder until I leave a large purple Marc.

“Damn baby doll are you a vampire or what?” 

“I’m just making sure that everyone knows that you’re mine … my beautiful man.”

I quicken my rhythm, moving my ass just a bit until his cock s punching my prostate like a boxer punching his opponent and squeezing my ass.

“Yeah angel … don’t stop … yeah like that. Fuck I’m coming,” he shouts and his hands grip my hips hard as his cock erupts with volcanic force, filling me.

“Oh yeah I love your cock … fuck me babe I’m coming,” I shoot long ropes of cum onto his face and chest.

My ass is on fire with sexual pleasure and I can’t stop riding his cock and shooting cum.

I bend down and lick my semen from his face. I kiss him long and hard, feeding him my cum.

“Mmmm,” we moan together into our joined mouths.

We kiss and cuddle together while we ride out one fucking awesome afterglow.

“Now let’s go shower,” I tell him and I grab his hand and lead him from the bed to the bathroom. I’m grabbing towels while he’s adjusting the water’s temperature and he pulls me in with him.

“Mmmmm,” I moan as he kisses me hard and deep, his tongue dueling with mine for dominance. He wins and I feel his cock hardening against me.

“You can’t be horny again?”

“What can I say baby doll, I’m a fucking teenager and one lean, mean fucking machine.”

I roll my eyes and give a love slap before turning and planting my hands on the wall.

He gives that smirk and soaps up his cock. “Fast and deep or slow and easy,” he asks.

“Just shove that fucking bad boy in me already,” I tell him and smile because he’s concerned for me.

He presses his hard manhood to my pucker and gently gives it a push. I can’t take the anticipation any longer and push back against him, driving his cock fully in me.

“Damn baby doll that’s gotta hurt,” he says and bends to kiss my neck.

“And stop calling me baby doll because I’m not some porcelain doll that needs to carefully handled. “The reason that I like bad boys is because they’re rough and tough. Now please, will you fuck me like the bad boy I know you to be?”

That was all the encouragement that my guy needs because he pulls almost all the way out before slamming his cock hard and deep into me. He’s got one hand gripping my hip and the other is torturing my nipple. I’m pushing back with each of his thrusts and squeezing his cock unmercifully with my ass muscles. My man has his game on and he’s taking me along with him as he seeks his climax. I’m close, so very close and when his hand slaps my wet ass at the same time that he buries his rod deep in me, I plunge over the edge and come.

“Fuck my ass stud I’m coming,” I howl and slam my ass back against him.

“Oh yeah bitch ride my cock,” he yells and slaps my ass repeatedly.

I’ve never had such a climax before and I’ve never been called a bitch either. But damn he had a way of calling me bitch that said I love you more than life and I like it. “I’m coming… yeah just like that..ride me.” 

Once I feel his cock fall from my ass I turn and kiss him rough, thrusting my tongue deep into his mouth and fisting his hair with both of my hands.

“I love you TJ and I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch.”

“Let me tell you something about name calling Marc. It’s not so much the name, although some names do hurt, but it’s how it’s used that make the difference. When you called me bitch you were claiming me as your bitch. You never meant it to hurt or degrade me. It’s a part of your personality and I’ll be your bitch anytime you want me to be my handsome bad boy.”

“What did I ever do to get someone so precious and beautiful to love a shit head like me.”

“You’re many things Sweetheart, but a shit head is not now or will it ever be you. Now we seriously need to move our asses because we’ve got school.”

“Would you mind giving me a ride?”

“I thought that I just did,” I say laughing but knowing what he meant.

“Don’t be a smart ass, you know what I’m talking about,” he says with his signature smile and slaps my wet ass.

“Are you going to be the abusing kind of lover?”

“Why the fuck would you ask me that? You get smart ass with me and I might just have to give your hot ass a spanking.”

“Mmmmm sticks and stones might hurt me but whips and chains excite .. stud,” I tell him and step out of the shower, leaving him standing there with his mouth hanging open.

 

Andre 

“Did you hear those two,” I ask David as he walks into the bedroom from the bathroom.

“I swear that they could be heard clear across town. It reminds me of us back in our college days,” David says.

“Well I need to shower and get ready for school.” I tell him and give him a hot kiss before leading him to the door.

“Don’t you think that you should have some clothes on,” he asks me asks me.

“Why? I’m in my own home and everyone here is gay.”

“You would love to sink your cock into some hot teen ass, wouldn’t you,” I just smile and nod. “If you do let know. Now I got to get my ass going,” he says and I give him a kiss.

I turn around to see Eric standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist and the outline of his cock is prominent against the towel. He hurries away and I know that he’s heading back to his juvenile delinquent upstairs.

 

Eric  

“You look like a cheap fucking whore with those Marcs all over your neck.” Andre snaps at me when he enters our bedroom.

“How would you know what a cheap whore looks like? Oh wait your cheap whore just left,” I say.

I don’t need Marc getting tangled up in our argument so I hurry from the room down the hall, hoping to take it downstairs.

“I’ve had enough of your smart mouth and now you’re going to learn what being a smart ass gets you,” he angrily says and grabs me, shoving me hard against the wall. 

I lift my arms up to protect me from his assault. His fists strike my left arm so hard that I hear the crack before I feel the sharp pain.

“I’m sorry Andre, please don’t hit me again,” I’m crying out but he’s like a bull seeing red and unable to stop.

Again and again his fists strike my body until I’m screaming in pain for him to stop. I look up and see Marc come flying down the hallway towards us shouting…

“Get your fucking hands off and of my guy,” and he crashes into Andre, sending the both of them down the stairs.

 

David  

“Marc, Andre!” I hear someone scream as I pause outside the door to check my cellphone for messages.

I glance through the door’s side window and I see Marc and Andre’s bodies entangled at the bottom of the stairs. Neither are moving and I panic as I hurry as quick as I can to dial 911 for help. I can’t believe my eyes once I open the door. I look around for Eric and finally hear him groaning from upstairs.

“Eric, what happened?” I don’t get a response.

He’s bloodier then the two guys at the bottom of the stairs. I don’t know what happened in those few short minutes since I left but I can figure it out from Eric’s bloody face and swollen arm that Andre’s temper happened.

I can hear the approaching of the medical response vehicles sirens and seeing how the front door is open I stay with Eric, because you never move victims of falls. I watch as the police, followed by the paramedics enter the front door.

“Up here officer,” I call down to the officer and he hurries up the stairs. “I can’t tell you what actually happened but I can give you an educated guess,”

I tell the officer and then give him what I can only assume happened.

“How are the two at the bottom of the stairs,” I ask the officer and he shakes his head. 

 

Eric  

I wake to a smell that’s all to familiar to me, sterile and a hint of bleach. I’m in a hospital but where and what has happened to Andre and Marc? I hear another familiar sound and I turn to see someone lying in the bed beside mine. I can’t see a face because machinery is obstructing my view. I do notice that my left arm is once again in a cast and when I try to move pain wracks my upper body.

“Excuse me,” I say when a nurse enters the room and she comes to my side. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better thanks. Where am I?”

“You’re at Hamilton General Hospital, recovering from a beating and broken arm.”

“Who’s that,” I ask and her smile wavers.

“He was also brought in with you.”

“Is it Marc?” She nods. “What about Andre Müller,” I ask and this time she becomes evasive. 

“Your doctor will be in shortly,” she says and quickly exits the room.

“Hello in the other bed,” I call out but get only silence.

“Ah Mr. Müller, I see that you’re awake, I’m Dr. Johansen,” a doctor says as he enters the room.

“Yes I am I want some answers. First question, why am I in here?”

“Well other than the obvious,” and he points with his clipboard to my arm. “You also have a concussion from your attack and your lawyer thought it was best to keep you for observation.”

My lawyer, when did I get a lawyer and why? I’m thinking.

“Okay, question number two. Why do I have a lawyer and where’s Andre Müller?”

“That’s actually three questions young man. Now as to why you have a lawyer, I have no idea. Now about Mr. Müller,” and he gets very somber and quiet. “I’m sorry Eric but Andre Müller died from his fall down the stairs. His neck was broken and from the cuts and bruises on his hands as well as your blood on him, the police have assumed that he was your attacker,” he says and I just nod my head. “Now before you ask, this young man was more fortunate than Mr. Müller. He has a severe concussion and should be fine once he wakes up. Now if there’s no other questions,” he turns to leave but I stop him.

“When can I go home?”

“Tomorrow unless you should develop complications.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Andrew was dead and although I felt bad that he had died, I also had this feeling of relief. I now told myself that I would carefully choose my partner from now on. I was tired of being treated like a possession to use and abuse. I glance over at Marc’s still form and even though he says that he’s changed, I still have my doubts. The only thing that bothers me about Marc and I is that there is a definite connection, a bond that formed between us almost instantly. Another thing that concerns me is that he’s not out about his sexuality. I guess only time will tell where he and I go in our relationship.

“Mr. Müller, I’m attorney Samuel Bennett and I represented the late Andre Stefan Müller. Are you up to discussing his will or would you rather we wait until you’re released?”

“Why is there such a need to hurry?”

“Well, one is your age and with you being under eighteen you’re technically considered a minor. But Mr. Müller made a provision for you, that should such a thing as what has recently occurred with his demise and if you should be a minor, then I’m to expedite emancipation proceedings to secure your future.”

“Why couldn’t he have been this considerate when he was alive?”

“Sadly young man I cannot answer that for you. I do have the results of his autopsy and it showed that he had a rather large brain tumor that would have killed him within a year.

Now I’m wondering if his bizarre behavior change was due to the tumor and not to a hidden side,” I’m asking myself. “Can we discuss his will once I’m discharged,” I ask as guilt and remorse grabs my inner being.

“Of course Mr. Müller. But before I go let me give you a letter that he wrote for you just last month. I hope that it brings you solace in your time of need.”

He hands me a sealed envelope, we say good bye and I’m once again left alone with my demons. I cry until there are no tears left to cry and I look at the envelope sitting on my bedside table. I take it and rip it open, pulling the letter from it.

 

My dearest TJ,

 

If you are reading this then I’m to assume that I am no longer in your life and world, I’m dead. How do write a letter to someone that I was so horrible to and ask that he not only forgives me and yet understand why? So I guess that the best way to do it is to start at the beginning.

 

I’m going to tell you this and it’s not an excuse but my doctors tell me that I may experience personality issues with something that my test results found. I have a large, inoperable brain tumor that is malignant. Although I’m not in pain, I do experience headaches which causes me to lash out because of the pain from my headache. I’m sorry sweetheart for the way that I treated you and believe me when I say that you were not responsible for any of my lash outs. I’m sorry also that I never told you about my tumor, I just didn’t want to put more pain and stress on your shoulders.

 

Now I need to move on to something else that is very important to me and you also, your security should I die before your eighteen birthday. I’ve instructed my dear friend and lawyer, Samuel Bennett, to begin emancipation proceedings for you to prevent you from being placed into foster care system.  You will have nothing to worry about because he will handle everything for you. He will also contact you regarding my will, sweetheart.

 

I have something else to tell that I did not share with you until now because I didn’t have all the facts yet. But I will tell you that a representative of the McPherson and Gustafson detective agency in Zurich will be contacting you once their investigation is complete. I hired them when you first came to the Müller Institute to research your background. It’s not that I didn’t trust you,but something didn’t feel right about the man raised you.  I did receive a recent phone call from Wilhelm Gustafson and he told me that your birth was part of a nationwide baby trafficking ring that stole babies and sold them to unsuspecting customers for thousands of dollars. That was all I know concerning that and again I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you but I didn’t want to upset you before I had all of the facts.

 

I suppose that there’s nothing left to say but good bye my sweet boy. I want you to know that I love you more then the air I breathe. You brought me great peace and joy to my life darling and I hope that when my name or memory comes up that it brings thoughts of how happy we were and how much in love with each other we are. I also ask that you can forgive me in your heart. I have loved many people in my short life but I have not loved any as deeply as I love you Thaddeus James Wilson. I hope that in time you find a man that can and will love you as so rightly deserve to be loved TJ. All that I ask of you is that you love as you have loved me and be happy.

 

Good bye my heart and soul.

Andre 

 

I place refold the tear soaked letter, kiss and then place it and my love for Andre, along with my forgiveness into the envelope. I turn my back to the door and let myself mourn. I cry hard and long and I’m barely aware when someone crawls in bed behind me. Two strong arms pull me to him and in his arms I cry.

 

“I’ve got you my precious angel, so cry,” my protector whispers.

To be continued...

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Posted: 10/01/2021