By: Gerry Young

 [To DREW in Yorkshire, England, my LOVE for his continued inspiration, encouragement, ceaseless instructions over my hardheadedness, and his determination to help me make this the best that I think it can be, even though I may not have followed all his suggestions to the letter.  And welcome back, my friend.]

[AUTHOR’S NOTE TO READERS:  There is no sex in this chapter, so don’t go unzipping your pants and dropping them, ever-ready to pleasure yourself.  If that’s what you want, just jump ahead to the next, and hopefully more exciting, episode. 

[Also, I will point out that within this chapter, there is a scene that I loosely refer to as Gerry’s ‘dream experience’.  I am sure that it will be totally alien (or more than likely, ‘sacrilegious’) to most of you.  SHOULD you decide to read it, please do so as such – a dream sequence – or as an out-of-body-experience, or as science fiction, or as the author’s fantasy, or even as the work of some demented wanna-be writer.  Should you NOT want to read it (for religious or other reasons), just scroll down to the next set of diamonds (<><><>) before continuing.  And another ‘please’ – let me hear your comments -- pro or con.

[I struggled in making the decision of whether or not to include this part of the story, but my hardheadedness insisted that I put it in.  To me, it is important to show that Gerry is MORE than just a young man struggling with his sexuality, searching through life for that often-illusive gem of great value – TRUE LOVE.  Truth be known – he doesn’t yet realize that he’s looking for it.  There will be ups and downs (doesn’t that sound like fun?), but he WILL find it in the end, no pun intended!  And though it may take a while to get there, I promise that future chapters will include some hot, steamy scenes.]

And now…

(From Chapter Four)

Tom’s yelling and pounding on the bathroom door, brought Gerry back from his remembering.

CHAPTER FIVE

[This chapter is totally new and has never been posted before.]

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When he entered the house, Tom heard the guest-bathroom toilet flushing, and he knew that that’s where Gerry had run. 

Through the locked door, he asked, “You okay, Babe?”  There was deadly silence. 

He asked again, “You all right in there, Ger?”  Still, no response came, other than the sound of Gerry blowing his nose and then another flush of the toilet.  At least he’s still alive, he thought, being relieved at hearing the sounds.

“Gerry …” he called louder through the door, “… when you’re through in there, I need to talk to ya, Babe;  I need to explain … about tonight,” he faltered.  Again, Gerry gave no indication of having heard him.

Damn!  I really fucked-up tonight, he berated himself.  He must really be mad at me.  “Gerry,” he called, “come on out;  we need to talk, honey.”

The only sound that Tom heard was the running of the water in the sink, which was soon followed by the gargling noises coming from Gerry’s throat.

Ten, fifteen, twenty more silent minutes passed.  Tom had folded Gerry’s trousers he’d retrieved from the floor of the accursed playroom, and laid them and Gerry’s white briefs on the seat of the straight-back chair just outside the bathroom door.  He draped the shirt over the back of the chair and put Gerry’s shoes on the floor underneath.  He donned his own shirt, leaving the tail out and the front unbuttoned, and took his own briefs to the laundry room and just dropped them inside the washer.  Then he returned to the hall bath.

He heard the sound of the shower, and began walking the hall.  Back and forth;  back and forth;  like someone pacing outside an Emergency Room, waiting with a thousand different, mixed emotions for some word regarding a loved one.

Not since he had said, “… even if I have to walk all the way!” in the downstairs orgy room at Dr. B’s, had Gerry spoken a single word.  He must be mad as hell, Tom thought, as he continued to pace.

Eventually, the noise of the shower ceased.  Tom stood at the door, leaning with his hands on the jambs of the doorframe, his head slouched, facing the floor.  He waited, supposing that Gerry was drying himself.

Several more minutes passed, and Tom called out, “Gerry … Baby …  I’m worried about you.  Come on out!  You can’t spend all night in there!”  Nothing.  He began pounding on the door.  Harder and harder.  “If you don’t come out, I’m gonna break the fuckin’ door down!” he screamed.  He was desperate!

At the sound of the lock turning, Tom’s hands returned to the jambs, and Gerry opened the door.

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He jerked back for a moment, standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist, his damp hair combed and glistening.  To Tom, Gerry’s face was unreadable, showing no emotions at all.  His eyes darted any- and everywhere, avoiding Tom’s.

Gerry then stooped as if to walk under Tom’s left arm, but as Tom tried to hug him, Gerry gently pushed his arms away, calmly saying, “Don’t touch me, Tom.”

“What?”  Tom was shocked … frozen where he stood. 

As he walked past Tom and toward the stairs to the upper floors, Gerry simply said, “I’m going to bed.”

“You can’t go to bed right now, Ger.   We need to talk;  I need to explain about tonight.”

Without a word, Gerry proceeded up the staircase.  Tom followed.

At the top of the stairs, Gerry turned down the hallway and entered the first bedroom – the room he had rented three years earlier when Tom had taken him in.

Tom was stunned.  “Why are you going in there, Babe?”

Gerry stepped into the room, turned around, put one hand on the left doorjamb and his other on the doorknob, blocking Tom from entering.

“Go on to bed, Tom,” he said with no emotion.  “I want to be alone tonight.  I want to think things through.”

Tom was disheartened, but he wouldn’t give up.  “Please, Ger … don’t do this.  We’ve gotta talk.”

Gerry shook his head, which Tom took to mean that he wasn’t interested.  “Not tonight … Maybe later.  Now, go on to bed;  it’s Tuesday already, and you’ve gotta go to work in the morning.”

“I don’t care if I have to call in sick.  Please, Babe, please,” he begged, his tone, almost beyond hope.

“Goodnight, Tom.”  Without even a peck on the cheek, Gerry calmly closed the door, and Tom heard the lock being turned.

Gerry stood there motionless for a moment, eyes closed, hand still on the doorknob, forehead against the wall, waiting, waiting to hear the few little creaking noises that would let him know that Tom was going to … to what used to be ‘their’ bedroom.  He was barely breathing, trying to be as quiet as possible.

On hearing those steps, he gasped deep lungs-full of air, and his breath and chest began jerking as he struggled with his silent sobs.  He slumped to the floor and sat with his back against the door, tears streaming down his cheeks.  He brought his knees to his chin and hugged them for dear life, gently rocking back and forth.

He hated separating himself, even temporarily, from the man with whom he had shared his love.  He knew that Tom loved him, but Gerry hated himself for not being able to face his own demons head-on.  He hated the way he had acted – the foul language he had used against both men;  running away, naked, even on a public road, quiet as it was at that hour of the night;  not speaking a single word in answer or response to Tom during the ride home;  and most of all … closing the door in Tom’s face, even if it be temporarily at this troubled time in his own life.  But he needed time to be alone.  Time to think.  Time to make decisions!

Will I …?  Should I … ?  Can I …?  Do I even want to …? he wondered … he examined himself.

In his emotional exhaustion, he fell asleep, hugging himself.  Alone.  Crying. 

And he dreamt.  Or he could have escaped his body.  It didn’t matter which;  he didn’t even question it.  He just let it happen.

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He was looking down on something brilliant, far off in the distance, reflecting the rays of the desert sun.  His arms and hands stretched in front of him, pointing toward that ‘something,’ whatever it might be;  his legs, extended behind him. 

He was gently flying through the air – not in an aeroplane, but under his own power.  It wasn’t unusual;  he often flew like this, but always after he went to sleep.  He was happy – not a care in the world.  He felt free.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of his consciousness, he knew that if he spread his arms outward and slightly moved his hands, he could control whether he flew higher or lower, to the left or to the right.  It was fun!

The sleeves and hem of his white garment … a robe … were gently flapping in the light breeze around him.  There was no wonderment about the robe – it was natural for him.  There was no fear of falling -- the strength of the air about him embraced him in comfort.  He felt as if he might be a leaf, guided by some gentle, unseen current to his destination.

He seemed to be enshrouded in a mist, a cloud, or an aura, the pale pink color of which, was that of Love.  He felt it.  It was soothing to his soul.

The nearer he flew to the distant object, the clearer his vision became, somehow recognizing the familiar shape of a gleaming white marble pyramid topped with a golden capstone.

  Soon, his body became upright and he felt … no, … he saw that he was slowly descending, and as his brown-sandaled feet touched the desert floor at the base of the pyramid, a figure stood before him.  A giant of a man, gentle and serene, with shaved head, and wearing only the white and gold-hemmed kilt and golden sandals of a Priest of Kemet – the ancient name of Egypt.  From the heavy chain around his neck, hung a gold Ankh, the ageless symbol of Life.  He held in his right hand the golden Djed of Osiris, symbolic of the human backbone, the spine, which gives Strength and Uprightness to the body, soul and mind.   

Recognition was instant.  “Michael!” he exclaimed.

“Welcome home, Denderi, Traveler through time and space.”

“‘Denderi?’  ‘Traveler through …?’”

Michael nodded.

“But how?  When?  I don’t remember …”

Michael held up his left hand in what is universally known as the ‘Vulcan hand-greeting’, but the mysteriously secret gesture had been passed down through the Ages from time immemorial.  “All things will be made known in their own time, Gerry … my friend … my son.”

Gerry felt inclined to ask the logical question, ‘Son?’, but when a gentle, loving smile crossed Michael’s lips and his eyes closed as he bowed his head slightly toward Gerry, he somehow knew not to speak ... not to ask.

“Come!”  Michael continued, “It is time for your next Initiation into The Mysteries.”

Michael held out his left hand and Gerry clasped it into his own.

As he turned to face the pyramid, he extended the Djed and lightly touched the base of the marble casing.  Immediately, in the smooth white stone, there appeared beautifully hewn steps where none had been before, leading about a third of the way up the face of the pyramid.  They began their ascent, side by side, with Michael at Gerry’s right.

Reaching the last of the steps, Michael again touched the casing with the Djed, and the slab of the marble in front of them slid upwards creating an entrance into the structure itself.

As Gerry turned to look out over the desert, Michael said, “Don’t look back, my friend;  don’t look back.  Stop and rest from time to time, but ever look onward toward the Destiny that awaits you.  Watch, observe, and learn with each step along the way, but never fear to approach the unknown.”

Michael squeezed Gerry’s hand and a loving smile was exchanged between them.  “Come,” he said;  “let us leave the searing heat of the desert sun behind.”

Stepping forward, they entered and then began descending more steps into the cool depths of the interior.  A soft light seemed to permeate from the very walls of the passageway itself, casting no shadow anywhere.  And when Michael spoke, there was no echo as might be expected.

“This little journey,” he began, “is one into consciousness, Gerry.  You’ll have choices to make – choices that will lead you into a myriad of possibilities.”

The last of the downward steps brought the two men to a small flat rectangular area, wider than it was across.  Ahead of them, to the right, began the softly glowing Grand Gallery, having more steps ascending to the very heart of the structure with its tall cantilevered, gabled ceiling of white granite.  Likewise, ahead of them, but to the left, began the tiny, dark, rough-hewn passage leading to the Subterranean Chamber carved from the very bedrock beneath the bowels of the Pyramid.

“Here, my son, is your first choice,” Michael began.  “Wonders undreamed of, await you, whether you choose the left or the right. 

“Should you choose the left, you will attain mastery over others and mastery over the elements of Nature, herself;  but it has its pitfalls.  You must crawl on your belly through the dark, craggy, twisting, turning passage, and there is no turning back until you have traversed its depths.  Gravity, itself, will hasten you downward.  Once there, if you learn how to cross the Bottomless Pit … and do so! … there will be trials and tribulations unthinkable.  But having once passed through those, you will gain access to the most secret of places – The Halls of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and you’ll be greeted by the Lords of the Underworld.  Yours will be the newest Voice of the Sphinx.

“Accomplishing this feat, you may achieve earthly fame and fortune, but you will always be searching for something, feeling that you are alone in this life.

“On the other hand …” he gestured with the Djed toward the Grand Gallery to the right, “… you will be able to stand upright in the Light of the Way leading to Truth.  The passage is steep, but with perseverance, you will achieve the ultimate grace of Love.

“The choice is yours, Gerry.  You alone must make it;  I cannot make it for you;  but know that I will always be with you, whether you choose the path of Darkness to the left, or the path of Light to the right.  Now … speak aloud your choice with a strong voice.”

Gerry looked to the left and frowned, deep in concentration.  An image of the ordeal in the ‘playroom’ suddenly crossed his mind.  If I choose this way, I’ll get my revenge.  I’ll make them pay!   Then looking up through the Grand Gallery, he thought, But if I choose THIS way, I’ll be able to move on in my life … without any regrets.  He smiled.

“With the Love and Happiness written all over your face, Gerry, I know you’ve made your choice, but you must speak it aloud.”

“Gerry looked up the Grand Gallery and said, “I choose the way of Light.”

“Don’t be bashful, boy;  shout it to the Heavens!  Make these old walls tremble!”

“I choose the way of Light!” Gerry proclaimed, loud and clear.

Instantly, braziers rose out of the hewn steps ahead, near the walls of gray granite on either side of the passageway.  From the center of each of the braziers rose a golden flame, further lighting the way of ascension into the very heart of the pyramid.  Gerry’s body tingled from head to foot with … he knew not what.

“Onward and upward,” Michael declared.

Neophyte’s hand within the Master’s hand, they stepped forward and were immediately transported onto the last step at the top of the Gallery.

“What?  How …?”  Gerry was stunned.  Perplexed.  He looked to Michael for an explanation.

“Will wonders never cease?” came the teasing, chuckling reply.  Then, with a more joyful attitude, Michael continued.  “Here, we turn to the right,” he indicated with the Djed. 

A few feet away, another opening, a small one, allowed entrance into what has been called, erroneously, “The King’s Chamber.”

“Before entering,” Michael went on, “we must prostrate ourselves from the waist, in order to cross the threshold into the next and final room of today’s journey.  Do you wish to continue?”

“Yes … I wish to continue,” came the spontaneous answer.

“Then … come!”

Following Michael’s example, Gerry bent from the waist, crossed the threshold, and stood upright, just inside the softly glowing chamber.

Void of any decoration, the rather large gable-roofed room contained only one object, and it lay to the right of them – a hollowed-out piece of rare pink limestone, large enough to hold even the gentle giant whom Gerry called, ‘Michael.’  In a strange sort of way, it vaguely reminded Gerry of an open, lidless casket.

As if in response to his unspoken thought, Michael quietly said, “Many have said that this is the sarcophagus of a pharaoh of Kemet – Ancient Egypt, Gerry, but no one has ever been buried here.  To the contrary, many, many thousands have lain in it and, in Truth, have been re-born into their Higher Selves.”

At his saying of the word, ‘Truth,’ two shimmering beams of light shone into the chamber – one at the head, and the other at the far side of the block of limestone, and then human forms began to take shape from within the lights.  At the head, a female form, and at the side, a male form with the ridiculously small head of a strange looking bird. 

Gerry was astounded;  his eyes grew large and he jerked his head toward Michael.

“There’s nothing to fear, Gerry;  no harm can come to you here.”

Calmed by Michael’s words, he looked at the two Beings who had seemingly materialized out of nothing but Light.

Gesturing with the golden Djed still in his right hand, Michael made the first introduction.  “The goddess Maat – Bringer of Truth.” 

She smiled the loveliest smile Gerry had ever seen, and nodding her head toward him in greeting, she said, “Welcome home, Denderi.”

He was speechless;  he couldn’t say a word.  Being welcomed by a real live, honest-to-goodness, living goddess!  Wow!  I can’t believe it! he thought.

Her lovely smile became an infectious grin.  She leaned ever so slightly toward him and, with sparkling, joy-filled eyes, said, “Believe it, honey.  We’re very real, indeed.  Even the old Bird, over here,” she thumbed toward the other Being.  He looked down his long, curved beak at her with a mock glare of disapproval.

Michael and Gerry looked at each other, and instantly broke into gales of laughter.

“Old Bird?” in a whisper broken by his hearty chuckles, Gerry inquired of Michael, who was laughing so hard, all he could do was to nod his head in answer.

Suddenly, Gerry became solemn and serious.   His eyes bespoke concern as he searched back and forth between the goddess and his friend for an answer.  “Who … or what … if I may ask … is this ‘Denderi’ that you’re calling me?”

A chirping sound came from the Bird-man, obviously clearing his little throat.

Looking at Gerry, but extending her delicate hand toward the other Being, Maat made the next introduction.  “This … creature … is my Consort, the god Thoth, Bringer of Knowledge and Writing, Teacher of the Arts and Sciences and Religious Rites, known to the Greco-Romans as Hermes Mercurius Trismegistus, the Thrice Great, the …”

“Enough!  Enough!” the Ibis-headed-one said in words that Gerry could understand.

Though to his ears (when Thoth chirped), Gerry heard only the bird-like chirps themselves … but in his mind and in his heart, he somehow, mysteriously understood what was being said.  He barely shook his head, but in total disbelief.  Looking at Maat and his friend, Michael, he saw that they were both, lovingly smiling at him.

“Let me see;  let me see,” Thoth said as he flipped through his Emerald and Gold Tablets with the use of his ancient silver ‘writing stick’.  “Ahhhhh, yesssss … here we are … here we are … yesssss … Den-der-ee … Gerald Arthur Young … Gerry Young … Ger …” he read aloud from the pages, “… and … uhhh … various and sundry other … less … polite … nomenclatures. Chirp, chirp, chirp.”

He laid his Tablets on the lip of the ‘sarcophagus’ and while waving his ‘writing stick’ at Gerry, said, “In the Ancient Days, when you made your first appearance, you were given the name, ‘Denderi’, which means ‘Traveler’.”

‘First appearance?’ he wondered.  ‘What d’ya mean?’ he silently asked.

“Den… uuuh … Gerry!” Thoth continued.  “Think back.  Do you ever remember … dreaming … or … wishing … that you were aboard … an enormous … craft … traveling between … the stars?”

“Oh, my God, yes!” Gerry exclaimed.  “Ever since the Roswell Incident in ’47, I’ve wished I could be on one of those flyin’ saucers goin’ all over the universe.”  He was literally jumping with joy at the thought.  “Ya know, I really think I saw one, one night, with my Gran’mama.  It was real close, and neither of us was scared.  The Moon.  Mars.  All the different planets.  Out to the stars an’ galaxies!  Ohhhhh, I’d love to do that.”  The ‘little boy’ in him was coming out;  he was filled with excitement.

“Well, Den… Gerry, chirp,” Thoth began, then looked to Maat for confirmation.  She shrugged her divine shoulders and nodded her head.  “… well … when you are asleep …  there, on Earth … chirp, chirp … oh, fiddle-faddle!” he mumbled, fighting his frustration with not wanting to say too much.  “You won’t remember any of this, anyway, when you get back home … so, I won’t beat around the bush … burning or otherwise!”  The last was obviously said in reference to Moses’ burning bush.

Once again, Gerry and Michael looked at each other and tried their very best to stifle their laughter, but failed at it miserably.

“He’s funny,” Gerry said, just above a whisper, to Michael.

“I heard that, young man,” said the god as his long, curved beak pecked at something under his left armpit.  “Anyway …” he said, returning his attention to Gerry, “You were given the name, ‘Denderi’, which means ‘Traveler’,  when you made your first appearance in physical form.  It will always be your name, and… when you … are asleep in your Earthly body … you … have the title and position … of a … ‘Navigator’ … aboard  quite a large … ‘Starship’ … chirp, chirp … and … that’s all I’m going to tell you for right now.  So don’t ask!”  He shook his little head.

Gerry’s mouth had dropped open in astonishment at what Thoth had said.  He took no thought, but his mind was open and exuberantly receptive to more of the stunning information.

“Shall we proceed?” questioned the goddess Maat as an absolute statement, looking from one to the other of the three … ‘men’.  She then nodded and gestured to Michael, thereby ‘giving him the floor,’ so to speak.

“It’s time, Gerry, though ‘time’ here means nothing.”

“Time for what … Master?”  He had never before called Michael, “Master,” but for some unknown reason, it now seemed appropriate.

Michael made no comment at the title Gerry had given him.  He only smiled.  Then he put his arm around the younger man’s shoulder, and urged him on.  “Stay close to the walls, Gerry, and follow me.”

Together, they barely grazed the granite to their right, and having reached the corner of the room, they made a sharp left turn and continued on to the left side of the goddess.  Another left and a few more steps, and they were standing opposite the ‘sarcophagus’ from Thoth, with Gerry to Michael’s left.

Silently, as one, the three lovingly smiled (if it can be said that an Ibis can smile!) at Gerry and gestured toward the hollow interior of the pink limestone – Thoth, with his ‘writing stick’, after having retrieved his Emerald and Gold Tablets;  Maat, with both her opened palms extended down into the interior;  and Michael, with his Djed.

Gerry intuitively, psychically, somehow felt the love and protection that each of the three was projecting to him.  He returned their smiles, then took a deep breath, turned, sat on the lip of the limestone, and threw his legs over and into the interior.

“Now stand and face away from me, Traveler Denderi,” spoke Maat.

He did as he was instructed.

“We cannot set your Destiny for you, Denderi,” she continued, from behind him;  “you must do that yourself.  You, and you alone, must choose your path through life.  The urges of your soul have called to us for help, and we are going to show you some of those people who have helped you in your past, and some in your present, and the possibilities of some in your future.”

Near the wall in front of him, there suddenly appeared the likenesses of nine people in holographic images. 

From the left, the first was a young man in a straw hat and bib-overalls.

“As a small boy,” Maat began, “this man sparked the first flame of passion in your young heart.”  Gerry smiled, remembering.  Uncle Carl, he thought.

The second was a man in a sailor’s uniform.

“This one,” Maat continued, “was very dear to your soul, Gerry, but you did not recognize him.  There may yet be the chance that you will meet him again.”  His smile grew larger.  Zed … oh, Zed!

The next – a shorter man than either of the first two – was shrouded in darkness, and his features unrecognizable.”

Frank.  A shiver of coldness went through Gerry’s body. 

“This one,” Maat told him, “was a gnome, an earth spirit, who took human form, to assist in your soul’s development.  You did well, in the giving of your love, even though none was returned.”

The fourth man looked sadly familiar, and Gerry wanted to reach out to him and embrace him.  Indeed, the image was that of Tom, but at the moment, Gerry’s mind (or was it his soul?) refused to permit him the full recognition that would have brought any negative energies into this hallowed place.

A movement to his right caused Gerry to look toward Thoth who was flipping through his Emerald and Gold Tablets.  He stopped at a certain page.  “There has been love with this one, Den… Gerry,” he said, “but there are other deeper, greater, loving relationships for you both.”

“Thoth!” Maat interrupted.  “Too much.  Too much.”

“Chirp!  These are only possibilities, Maat, as you well know, and besides, he’ll never remember after he returns,” he quipped, and then continued speaking to Gerry.  “It … is … POSSIBLE …” he quickly glanced at the goddess with his beady eyes, and nodded his head, “that the two of you could spend the rest of your life together, somewhat happily, I’m sorry to say, but not completely committed to each other.”

Even the gods quibble with each other, Gerry mused to himself.

“Let us continue,” Maat proclaimed.

The next image was that of the only female in the holographic group.  Her blond hair, gathered into a ‘pony-tail’, wrapped around the right side of her neck and hung between her voluptuous breasts.  Her tunic of sheer white linen trimmed in gold was draped from her left shoulder, cinched at the waist with a golden girdle, highlighting her childbearing hips, and hung only to her mid-thighs.  On her feet, she wore leather sandals laced to the knees.

Gerry’s heart beat faster as he felt a stirring in his loins, for he truly remembered.

“This woman,” Maat continued, “is your true Soul-Mate, Gerry.  It is rare that two-who-are-one ever find each other in any given incarnation, and rarer still, that they do not join when they do find each other.”

Gerry glanced at Michael, then to the goddess of Truth, and then to her Consort, Thoth, and back to Maat – all three were lovingly nodding as they smiled at him.  He was perplexed;  he needed more answers.  Why, then, his heart screamed, did she refuse my proposal when I asked her to marry me?

“Had she accepted your hand, Gerry,” Michael spoke up, “both of you would have abandoned your united choices to come into this life in order to learn certain lessons that your joining would have prevented.”

“But why?  It’s not fair!” Gerry cried aloud.  He recognized his high school sweetheart.

“Chirp.  Chirp.  Fairness has nothing to do with it, Denderi … Gerry!” Thoth explained.  “It was the choice that you both made together.”

“You will be together again, Traveler,” Maat promised.

Gerry opened his mouth to protest, but Maat gestured across the chamber to the images that were beginning to fade.

The next image (the fifth man) held a stern appearance – all business-like.  Wearing a black-with-white pin-stripped suit, he had curly reddish hair, and Gerry noticed a scar across his face.  He shivered with forbidden sensual excitement.

Next to him stood a handsome young man, strangely wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and an odd belt of some kind with all sorts of implements hanging from it.

Gerry smiled as his eyes devoured the image.  His feelings for the female quickly vanished.

The next image was unlike any man Gerry had ever seen – exotic, beautiful, refined – with long white, almost transparent, hair;  the palest skin, almost translucent.  Suddenly, Gerry was aware of the fragrance of cloves mixed with a strong incense.  Strange!

As Gerry then gazed at the last of the nine images, Michael tenderly placed a hand on Gerry’s left shoulder.

It was the image of an older man;  he was in the senior years of his life and wearing a cowboy hat, a heavy leather coat with a fleecy collar pulled up around his neck, buckskin pants, and muddy boots.  Gerry felt as if he already, somehow, knew the man, but his attention was drawn to the pin that the man wore on his hat – two snakes intertwined around a vertical staff – a caduceus, the symbol of the art of medicine.

“These last four men,” Maat said, drawing Gerry’s attention back to herself as he turned to face her, “are just a few of the many possibilities of meaningful relationships you will have, Gerry.  Each will help you to learn and grow and accept different lifestyles.”

“But how …” Gerry began, before Maat held up her left hand as she continued.

“Few men are given glimpses into their futures, Gerry, but you are at an important turning point in your life.  Choose wisely in the way you will go. Be happy.  Learn to love … and be loved – that is the greatest lesson.  And remember …”

She paused.  Then, looking first to Thoth and then to Michael and then back to Gerry, they three said in unison, “We will always be with you.”

Gerry felt that somehow, she was saying ‘Good-bye’ to him.  His eyes began to glisten.  He looked to Thoth who was smiling (as well as an Ibis can!).  He gestured toward the interior of the ‘sarcophagus’.  He looked to Maat who was also smiling, and she likewise gestured to the interior.  Then he looked to Michael – his dear gentle giant – who had called him ‘son’.

Michael leaned across the lip of the pink granite and they hugged.  On releasing their hold, he stood back and gestured also with the golden Djed.

As Maat spoke, he followed her directions.  “Lie down, Gerry … on your back … with the top of your head toward me.  Now cross your arms over your chest … and your feet at the ankles.” 

Immediately, four shimmering rays of emerald green light descended from the gabled stone ceiling – one ray to each of the four corners of the ‘sarcophagus’, and as Gerry’s eyes gently closed, he awoke … in his room … in Tom’s house.

<><><> 

His back hurt.  His neck hurt.  He had been hunched over, sitting, sleeping there on the floor, his lower back against the locked door.  Rubbing his eyes, he glanced at the clock on the bedside nightstand and saw that it was 2:30 in the morning – he’d been asleep for about two hours.

Painfully, he clambered up, twisting, stretching, trying to get the kinks out of … everywhere!  He could barely stand from the tingling in his benumbed lower legs, but he managed to get to the bed and fall upon it, even though he had pulled back neither the white chenille bedspread nor the pale blue percale top-sheet.  Between the bedroom door and the bed itself, his still damp towel had fallen to the floor, and he lay on the bed naked.  Almost immediately, he was asleep again.  This time – dreamless, but somehow restless.  The bedspread became a mess from his tossing and turning.

<><><> 

A sound disturbed his sleep and slowly brought him back to consciousness.  At first, a gentle tapping, then knocking, and finally pounding accompanied by Tom’s voice.  “Gerry … Gerry!  Are you all right? … Unlock the door, dammit!  Gerry, sweetheart!  Please!”

“Just go away, Tom,” he called back.  He looked at the clock and saw that it was six o’clock.

“We’ve gotta talk, Ger…”

“You’ve gotta go to work;  we can talk later;  I need to…”

“I don’t give a fuck about going to work, Ger;  they can fire my ass for all I care!  And I’m not leavin’ here until you open this fuckin’ door!  You hear me, babe?  I’m not leavin’ till you come out here or I have to bust the fuckin’ door down!”

Gerry knew by the tone of Tom’s voice that he would indeed bust the door down.  Besides, it was his house, and he could do whatever damage he wanted.

“All right … I’m gettin’ up,” he mumbled.

“What’d you say?”

“I said, ‘I’m getting up.’  Just gimme a minute.”  He yawned as he got off the bed, stood, stretched, walked unsteadily to the door, grabbed the maroon velvety robe on the hook, and put it on.  He tied the sash in a loose knot, and unlocked the door and opened it.

Wearing nothing but a plain pair of yellow flannel boxers that he seldom wore when sleeping, Tom immediately embraced him, but Gerry drew back, pushing him away.

“Thank God you’re all right, Ger;  thank God you’re all right.  I didn’t get a wink o’ sleep all night worrying aboutcha.  We’ve got…”

“Were you afraid that what you and those bastards set-up for me would cause me to kill myself?” he asked, yawning again.  “Is that why you didn’t get any sleep?  Is it?  Did you feel guilty?  I slept like a baby,” he lied, as he coldly rambled on and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

Tom stood silent for a moment before running after him.  “Ger, you don’t understand…”

“No, I don’t understand,” he interrupted;  “I don’t understand how you … of all people …” he emphasized, “… and Doc-tor Bzuzu Ungudamu, the one man I’ve … evidently and mistakenly … grown to respect and, in some way, love … could go behind my back … without so much as talking to me about it first … and plan something so … so …”

He had begun the speech, cold, calculated, and clearly enunciated;  but the more he emphasized certain words, the more keyed-up he became, and the faster he talked, until at the end of his single breath, he collapsed with his chest and folded arms on the counter-top near the coffeepot which was already brewing … sobbing, crying like a baby.

Immediately, Tom was beside him, an arm caressing Gerry’s back, his other hand stroking Gerry’s forehead, and his lips next to Gerry’s ear whispering, “Oh, Gerry, Gerry, Gerry;  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, honey.”  He, too, was crying, but through his tears he managed to continue.  “Come on over here to the table, babe, and sit down and let me fix us some coffee so we can talk.”

Suddenly, Gerry was standing upright, almost knocking Tom to the floor;  he turned around with his arms folded across his chest, looked him straight in his eyes, and said, “Tom, I can’t talk right now.  I don’t want to discuss anything.  I need time to think things through.  What I do want is for you to get dressed, go to work, and leave me alone to think.”  Gerry knew that he had never before spoken to Tom in this manner, and Gerry felt the pain of his own harsh words. 

Tom reached out and said, “Please, Gerry …”

Before Tom could say anything else, Gerry held up a hand thereby stopping Tom from touching him, and said, “You can’t push me, Tom … ‘cause if you do … you’ll just push me away.”  He didn’t bat an eye.  He turned back around, retrieved two cups from the cabinet, filled them both, and handed one to Tom.  “Now, go get dressed … and go to work.”

Nothing more was said between them.  Gerry watched as Tom once more climbed the stairs and soon, Gerry heard the sounds of the shower in the Master Bath.  He sat at the kitchen table slowly sipping his coffee, thinking.  Thinking.  Thinking.

He was unaware of Tom returning to the kitchen, dressed for work in normal, everyday street clothes.  That wasn’t unusual;  that’s what they both wore, knowing that they’d change into surgical scrubs before starting their shifts.

“Hon,” Tom said, breaking Gerry’s reverie, “I don’t want to go to work with you mad at me.  If we can’t …”

Gerry cut him off.  “I’m not mad at you, Tom.  I just have to think some things through.  Alone … for the time being.”

“Okay.  But what I was going to say, is …” Tom reiterated himself, “… if we can’t talk about it now, can I at least have a … uhhh … a kiss … before I go to work?  I don’t wanna leave home without it.  I love ya too damn fuckin’ much, Gerry, sweetheart.”  He seemed to be on the verge of tears again.

Gerry looked up at him pensively for a moment, then nodding, pushed his chair back, and stood up.  Their hands cupped the outside of each other’s shoulders, and slowly they leaned in, their lips barely touching.  They kissed the kiss of butterfly wings.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt you, honey.  I really didn’t.” 

Gerry knew what he had to do as he stepped away, reached for his empty cup, and turned round to get a refill.

“Bye-bye, babe.  See ya later.”

“Good-bye, Tom … and try to stay focused on your patients today,” Gerry said, without even looking over his shoulder.

(End of Chapter 5)

To Be Continued.