The List

By: Jonothan Wolf
(© 2012 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 19
Avery

Specimen's Name: Avery

Height: 5'8''

Build: 140 lbs (slender)

Occupation: Student (Freshman)

Age: 18

Dimensions: 6''

Over the next two nights, I discovered that guilt comes in many forms and fashions. It wasn't enough for me to just feel guilty about messing around with Chase behind Spencer's back. I found myself lying, justifying my actions, and generally turning into a shitty person. Looking back, I realize what a dark place I was in, and I attribute that place to Kyle and Rusty for their brazen acts of affection.

After coming deep in Chase's ass the first time, I told myself I wouldn't have been there betraying Spencer had I not seen Kyle waltz into the party with Rusty. Had Rusty not accosted me, I would have stuck to my guns and gone home, like I'd planned. But he had accosted me and I hadn't gone home. Instead, I'd gone to Chase's room at the swimming house.

The second time I came, it was straight to the back of Chase's throat. I told myself that as long as Spencer didn't find out, I wasn't actually hurting anyone. Chase clearly liked me, so why deny myself the companionship? Spencer hadn't done anything productive to woo Chase- it was nothing more than a school girl's crush. There aren't dibs in real life. Boys aren't the front seat of a car... you can't call shotgun.

The third time I came, while I slept through an early morning hand job, I thought about how much I was enjoying myself. Chase was fucking beautiful. He had an Adonis body, a cute face, charming smile and a laid back attitude that drove me crazy. And he was horny to boot. Between the two of us, we shot six loads that night, each one laced with more and more guilt, and each one followed by one more excuse.

When I finally woke up, my dick somewhat sore from an all-night marathon session with the hands down hottest guy I'd been with to date, I thought about my s-exit strategy.

"I was serious about what I said," I told Chase, pulling my jeans over my freshly relieved boner. I sat at the edge of the bed to pull my shoes on. "We shouldn't be doing this."

He crept up behind me, still naked, and started working my shoulders. "But we're so good at it," he cooed in my ear. He licked it. I turned my head.

"I know, but no. No, listen," I said firmly, squirming away from him. I pushed the memory of sliding into his warm hole and pumping in and out of him slowly out of my mind. "Last night was great, it really was. But Spencer really does mean a lot to me."

"Look, I'm not into Spencer. I will never be into Spencer. It's not just my rule against the swim team. He's not my type."

"Are you kidding? He's gorgeous," I said quickly. Chase circled around me and knelt between my legs, pushing my shoe aside. He wasn't going to make this easy for me at all.

"He is. So is everyone else on the team. I see those guys naked every day and it doesn't do anything for me. And knowing how hard he's trying to get my attention... I mean, come on. I'm just not into that breed of desperation," he said.

"I have to go," I stood up. I drew the line at insulting my best friend. This guy was a douche, a jerk. A jerk with lips like clouds, a tongue he could work like a pro, and an ass that wouldn't quit.

"Don't get upset," he said.

"I'm trying to tell you that I can't see you because it's disrespectful to my friend and you turn around and insult him. I'm sorry, but I think I will get upset."

"Listen, listen, Cooper," Chase said, stopping me as I reached the door. He had made it easy for me to erase the memory of him deep throating my entire shaft until I spewed gallons into his throat. "Listen, okay. I'm a jerk, I know that. I also know what I want, and you walking away just makes me want it even more."

"Let me tell you what I want," I started to say. Chase cut me off.

"Just listen. We don't have to do this anymore, if it makes you that uncomfortable," the sweet California boy accent was back. "But this sex that we do, is incredible." He leaned into me ever so slightly. I could feel his hand inching towards my crotch and I breathed in. This was right around the moment I was about to get weak. "And you can't deny that any more than I can. So, if you will. I'd like to continue having the hottest, most amazing sex with you." He leaned back quickly and walked slowly back to his bed. "But I understand if you'd rather just not."

Not only was this guy a dick, but he was a smart dick. His playing indifferent almost made me want to hop back into his bed and fuck the daylights out of him right then. But I had to be a better guy. I was a better guy. Almost.

"How about you stop flirting with Spencer altogether. That way he stops liking you and then," I threw him a bone. "And then we'll start having that amazing sex yet again."

"Done," he said, easily. "Now get back in here and give me one for the road. Please."

I thought for a second, equidistant from the door as I was from a sprawled out Chase, ready to go again. I'd already betrayed Spencer three times the night before and the cock hadn't crowed yet. Why not make it a round number four. With a new resolve, to stop seeing Chase until he let Spencer down easy, I pulled my shirt off and glided between his legs, rubbing my denim clad boner against his rapidly rising dick. I went in for the kiss, just as Chase ground upwards into me.

We made out that way for what felt like hours. I eventually peeled my pants back off and rubbed our cocks against each other. I played with Chase's smooth blonde hair and dark hard nipples as he pulled my pelvis into his with his strong hands. I could swear that he smelled like the ocean, but it might have just been the pheromones I was obviously attracted to. This guy could have sold me sand in the desert and I would have bought it.

Before I knew what was happening, Chase had his hands on my ass and was guiding my hips downward towards his hole. I moaned deeply as I sat up and pulled my last condom out of my jeans. I smiled down at him, rolled the rubber over my Michael Phelps and plunged into his already loose ass as if someone was paying me.

He writhed under me sexily and whispered over and over how good I felt inside of him. The hottest thing about Chase was his face while he was getting fucked. It wasn't pained or awkward. It was sheer joy. He whispered encouragements in my ears that just made me want to fuck him forever. He pulled my head down and nibbled my neck and chest as I drove into him, thrust after thrust.

The second hottest thing, was that it was never enough for him. He writhed under me as I plunged harder than I ever had with anyone before, determined to drill into him so hard that he'd remember the feeling for days.

"Oh you feel amazing, dude," he cooed. "You're hella hot, you know that? Fuck me harder, come on."

The `come on's multiplied as did my speed. By the time we were both reached the edge, I was sitting up, holding onto his thick, hairless thighs, and plowing as hard as possible into his ass. His face, ever sexy, reeled back and he burst more cum than I'd ever seen come out of two balls, as if we hadn't emptied ourselves all night. The sight of his beautiful face smiling in ecstasy, coupled with the hotness of his torso covered in cum, brought me over the edge. I pulled out of him, dropped his legs and added my own cum to his. By the time I caught my breath, Chase was smiling up at me, covered in both of our sperm and loving it.

I pulled my clothes on for the second time that morning, determined that that was the last time I was crossing that line... but knowing better.

It wasn't that I was totally weak and powerless. I needed a distraction from Kyle. So far, Chase was it. I couldn't get the image of Kyle with Rusty out of my mind and I wouldn't be able to until I found a suitable alternative.

I spent all day Sunday holed up in the Student Union, glad I didn't run into Spencer when I went home to shower and change. I didn't really have much to study yet, so I got ahead on the readings for my Great American Novel class, starting with what felt like the great American cliché, The Great Gatsby.

I parked at a couch on the second floor of the U, overlooking the bookstore and wondered if I was going to run into Sebastian for dinner again. My question was answered when I saw him walk out of the bookstore on his phone, looking more or less perturbed, and walking straight towards the Taco Bueno in the food court. I decided I'd read enough about how the rich were better than the rest of us, packed my backpack, and stalked the cute geek to the food court.

Instead of going straight to Taco Bueno, I decided to go the healthy route and get a Subway sandwich instead. By the time I had my foot long sub and chips in hand, Sebastian had already sat down and was elbow deep in Bueno Nachos.

"Mind if I join a lonely eater?" I asked, smiling down at him. He silently kicked a chair out for me and I sat down. "How was your week?" I inquired. We weren't good friends and so I wasn't sure what to talk to him about. Last time we'd eaten together, he'd given me advice on how to pass my politics class. I hadn't prepared myself for what to say when I met him in this contrived manner.

"Well this one is starting super shitty," he said evenly.

"Oh," I replied, startled. "I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want me to go?"

"No, no, it's not you. It's my fucking girlfriend." I suddenly got very awkward. I wasn't equipped to listen to people's feelings.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," I said.

"Sorry to bum you out. But really, okay, get this. I'm going to her semi-formal this Friday. It's not even a real formal, it's a semi-formal to welcome in all the little baby kites or whatever the fuck they are. And in exchange, all I asked her was to go to the Summer Set concert with me on Saturday. Not a lot to ask right? Considering she's always dragging me to these stupid Greek things. And then she calls me today and says they have a date dash on Saturday and that we have to go to that. It's bullshit. I'm sorry, I'm venting, it's just she really pissed me off this time."

"No, no worries. I'm all ears," I said. It sounded shitty how she treated him. He was too cute to put up with that, I thought. And then I had a better thought. "And I will say, I love Summer Set. They're sick. Don't waste your tickets; you should just go without her."

I had no clue who Summer Set was, but I assumed they were a band of some sort. I made a mental note to Youtube them when I got home. For this conversation, I would just fake it.

"You like them? Not a lot of people know they're stuff around here, `cause they're out of Phoenix," he said, sounding happier and more excited. "But I like their music. Reminds me of Bowling for Soup or the Ataris."

"I was telling my roommate the same thing just the other day," I lied confidently. "And thank goodness they haven't sold out yet." I knew my way around indie music enough to know what buttons to push. If he asked my opinions on specific songs, I'd be screwed.

"You know what," he replied. "I'm gonna go to the concert on Saturday and Britney will deal." He had a triumphant smile on his face. "And you're coming with me."

Jackpot. "No, you don't have to do that," I said, playing up my apprehension. He'd played right into what I wanted: a date. Or something close.

"I'm serious. I'm not gonna give up my tickets just because she doesn't want to go when I literally go to every Greek function she throws. Fuck that. Give me your number and we'll plan out the details."

I gave Sebastian my phone number and we decided on a tentative plan for our `date' that Saturday. We'd pregame in my room and cab it out to Deep Ellum, for the show. I was inexplicably excited for a bro-date that had 0 percent chance of hook up in the forecast. By adding Sebastian to my phone, I'd doubled my friend count.

Monday was my first day to practice with the Peruna Mustang club volleyball team. I waltzed into the student rec center at 7 just like Tye had told me to, dressed in the shortest shorts I owned and two layered tank tops under an SMU sweater. I was sweating Peruna pride.

Tye had been pretty casual in his invitation for me to show up, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. He smiled when he saw me, blew the whistle and told me to join the line. I did their stretches with everyone, the same stretches we'd done in class. I marveled at how athletic and older everyone looked than I did. I guess I stuck out like a sore freshman thumb doing lunges next to a 6'4 outside hitter.

"Alright guys," Tye said, dressed in his own practice gear and holding a clipboard. The girls' volleyball T.A. stood next to him. "We have a frosh who's interested in trying out for the team in the fall, so I told him to do the setter work out with me today. Be nice to him, with Lucas and Penny leaving, we'll need a good replacement, yes? Yes."

"Glad to see you're planning ahead without me, coach," a shorter guy said. He was the shortest guy on the court and I assumed he was one of the setters.

"Baylor and TCU both have sophomore starters this year, Penrod. UT's setter is a junior," Tye said, sounding slightly agitated. "I'm thinking about the longevity of this program and bringing in your replacement now in order to learn from you will help us achieve that. Anyway, Meli is going to take hitters. Spike, I want you to work defense with the liberos and I'll take the setters. Then we'll come together and run drills."

I followed Tye, the shorter guy, two girls and a guy my height to the corner of the court.

"Penny," the guy who'd made an outburst said, offering me a hand.

"Cooper," I replied.

"I'm Lucas," the taller one said grinning at me. "Although, everyone except Tye calls me Lucky."

"I don't believe in luck, Lucas," Tye said, sounding way more intense than he had during our P.E. class. "I believe in good sets."

Tye ran a drill with us where we alternated receiving a pass and setting up the hitter. Tye told me to practice on placing the ball and connecting. I fumbled a couple of times at first and then connected spot-on with Penny for a one set.

"Nice," he said when he passed me to shag the ball.

It felt good to be treated like one of the players, and after seeing each of them mess up a couple of times, I stopped being so conscious of myself. By the end of the second drill, Tye had good compliments for me.

"Alright," he said, gathering us up for a huddle. "How do you feel, Coop?"

"Good," I replied, trying not to breath heavily. I'd broken a slight sweat, not aware of what a workout I was getting.

"You're looking good out there. Stay confident. Stick around after and we'll work on your huts, getting them tight on the net and not worrying about over shooting. With Jacob and Mike on the left side for you, you can't overshoot."

I had no clue what any of that meant, but I just nodded and shrugged. I didn't mind staying after with Tye one little bit. He was gorgeous. Bump, set, spike gorgeous.

The next hour was spent running drills with everyone. Again, I was tossed right into the fray, only this time it was little more overwhelming. When a play doesn't go off, it's universally assumed that the setter did something wrong. I learned quickly that Tye's biggest pet peeve was letting the ball drop, so I made sure to hustle and get under it, even if I knew it wouldn't be the prettiest set. All in all, minus a couple of botched calls that the hitters graciously took credit for, I did pretty well.

Tye ended the practice with an announcement about the first tournament a month away, called everyone in for a huddle, and dismissed everyone. A couple of the girls hung around to pepper while everyone else pretty much sprinted out of the gym.

"Walk with me, Carpenter," Tye said loudly, picking up the balls around the gym. I jogged beside him, immediately smelling his exotic aroma and wanting him terribly. Being on this team would be ridiculously frustrating if I didn't do something soon.

"How'd you feel tonight? You think this is something you can do?"

"I definitely do, Tye. I really do."

"Good," he said, bending over to shag a ball, giving me a direct view of his firm bubble butt. I was pretty sure I salivated just a little. "I wasn't kidding about grooming you for next year. It's pretty unorthodox for both of our setters to be seniors, but that's how the cookie crumbled this year."

"Well, yeah. I guess if I keep working out with the team, I'll be able to take the torch next fall," I said, realizing in my mind just how far away that was. I'd be practicing for nine months before I got the chance to play. I could have a baby in that time.

"I think you'll surprise yourself with how good you'll get," he said. He put his hands on my shoulder and looked me square in the eye. Those hazel blues were beautiful and deep. I actually looked down at myself to make sure I wasn't bulging. "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

I nodded feebly and hobbled off the court. I felt good inside about having a decent first day and vowed my next practice would be even better.

As I walked home, stopping to buy a bottle of water from the rec center vending machine, I couldn't get Tye out of my mind. I kept telling myself it was a terrible idea to agree to such close proximity of him, considering how hot he was, but then again, everyone else could do it and control themselves. It wasn't like I was fawning over him during practice. It was only now, on the walk home, that I felt the unbelievable urge to beat off when I got home.

Luckily for me, when I swung the door to my dorm open, everything was dark and Spencer was gone. I wasn't sure where he'd gone or how long he'd be out, but I knew what I needed to do. I whipped my pecker out and went straight to work. After five minutes of fantasizing about Tye, I spilled all over my thigh.

I took a shower and tried to dig up some work, but I honestly didn't have much to do yet. Sebastian had been right; my global professor was yet to assign a page of reading, and my other four closes were slow on the take as well. I meandered around the internet for a while, eventually stopping at Facebook.

I stalked around aimlessly, checking out photos of some of my friends from home. I stalked through the majority of Sebastian's profile before I friended him, thinking it wouldn't be weird for him to get my request. I was always a little conscious about that.

While I was going throw his pictures, noticing that most of them were of him dressed up and standing next to his girlfriend, Britney, I realized he was the dutiful boyfriend. Always doing what she needed him to, putting her first. As much as she frustrated him, he clearly loved her. I resigned myself to the fact that Sebastian and never be more than a friend to me. I could use a friend, so it didn't bother me more than a little bit.

As I was getting tired of Facebook, a chat message popped up on my screen.

From Avery: Hey. So what about that workout plan?

I'd totally forgotten about that, and him, and my plan to use him get over Chase. This was the perfect opportunity to lay some groundwork.

To Avery: We should get on that.

From Avery: We really should. I just ate a pint of ice cream, and I'm feeling fat already.

To Avery: A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.

From Avery: lol

I wondered if he'd actually laughed out loud. It was time to ramp this bad boy up.

To Avery: So what kind of work out are you looking for? I'm not the best gym rat, but I can be a good spotter.

From Avery: How do you figure?

To Avery: I can keep a pretty tight grip on the bar for you. :)

I wondered if that brand of flirting was particularly forward. I didn't really care. Avery knew nothing about me and if he wasn't into it, who would he tell that I'd hit on him? Chase?

From Avery: Sounds like I came to the right place then. But seriously, your legs are to die for. I want them.

To Avery: Wrapped around you? Jk.

Again, forward. I waited breathlessly for his reply.

From Avery: I probably wouldn't say no to that.

Bingo. Jackpot. However else you could describe it. It wasn't a wonder he was totally into it, the guy had been checking out my legs for Christ's sake. I decided to take it just one step further.

To Avery: Like I said, not a big fan of the gym. How about we just do a private workout. You and me?

Another pause, waiting with bated breath. I figured he was probably selecting his words carefully, not wanting to come across too easy or jump the gun in case he was misinterpreting what I'd said. I hadn't left any room to misinterpret.

From Avery: What do you have in mind?

Before I responded, I called Spencer and asked him where he was and what he was up to. He told me he was hanging out with a couple of the guys from the swim team.

"Is Chase there?" I asked before I could stop myself. I wondered if he read anything to my curiosity.

"Yeah, he is, why?"

"Just... good luck to you," I replied, coolly.

"Yeah, he's being sort of a jerk though. Hasn't talked to me all night."

You stop flirting with Spencer until he's over it and then we'll see what this is. I felt a little touched that he was following my instructions and a little guilty that the whole thing was hurting Spence.

"Well, hey," I said. "I might have a guy coming over, so how long are you gonna be out?"

"You should be good. If you're still at it when we're done hanging out here, I'll hang out at Kyle's," he replied. The name made me swallow, still able to affect me. I wanted to hang out at Kyle's.

After I hung up with Spencer, I sent Avery an undeniable message.

To Avery: Come over and I'll show you.

From Avery: Now?

To Avery: Unless you want me to spot myself...

He paused again, only this time the message box indicated that he'd typed a message, was typing a message, and then stopped. I smiled, wondering what he was trying to word so carefully.

From Avery: What's your room number?

I told him how to get to my room and he said he'd be over in fifteen minutes. When he logged off, I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head. I was proud of my efforts. Really, really proud. I hoped that Avery would be a good lay and give me more of an incentive to break whatever was going on with Chase off. I didn't like hurting Spencer at all.

Twenty minutes later, after fidgeting around my room, Avery finally knocked on the door. He obviously got my message because he was dressed in jeans and sweater rather than anything that resembled workout gear.

"So," I said, pulling him in. "Ready for a workout?"

"I'm not gonna lie, didn't think a hot guy like you would be into a skinny guy like me," he said as he walked in and took off his sweater. I didn't know how to respond to that. I wouldn't have described Avery as skinny, but rather, slim with no muscle tone. I noticed when he raised his arms that he had a flat stomach with little to no hair on it. His skin looked smooth and his face was cute and smiley. He was wearing glasses tonight and I didn't remember seeing them before. He definitely wasn't hot, but he was more than attractive enough. I hung one of Spencer's ties on the outside of the door and shut it.

I turned around with a grin. Instead of replying, I just leaned in and kissed him. I could feel his body physically relax as I pressed up against him, pushing his body backwards towards my bed. I put hands around Avery's face, pulling him into me, kissing him deeply. It felt like he had no clue what to do with his hands.

I pushed him back onto my bed, climbing on top of him, and grinding slowly. I could tell he was already hard, and that turned me on something awesome. I sat up, smiled at him and peeled my shirt off.

"Wow," he said, smiling. "Even hotter than I thought."

I slid back down and attacked his lips again. I rubbed the entire length of his torso while we kissed, letting him feel me up as well. Breaking our kiss for only a second, I pulled his shirt off, and tossed it across the room.

Instinctively, I moved down his neck, kissing my way down his chest. I stopped briefly at his nipples before licking down the center of his torso. His body writhed in pleasure, encouraging me to continue going further south. I wasn't sure just how far this guy wanted to go, but he was rock hard and I intended on doing something about it.

"Oh, god," he moaned when my tongue got to his beltline. I turned my eyes so that I was gazing up at him. I raised my eyebrow as if to ask for permission and he nodded slowly, licking his lips and tilting his head back.

I unleashed his hard dumb bell slowly, watching with a smile as it flopped to the left of his belly button. He was big. Not really big, but definitely big for such a small body.

"Wow," I said out loud. He'd been stroking my ego. It was time to stroke his. "This dick is huge."

"You think so?" he asked as if he didn't believe me. "I don't really have a basis for comparison."

I sat up and looked at him. No basis for comparison? He'd never seen another guy's hard dick before? Did that mean...

"You're a virgin?" I asked, sounding way too surprised. I guess it shouldn't have been a big deal, but I hadn't come into contact with a virgin before.

"Yeah," he said, sitting up. "Is that a problem?" "No," I said quickly. "I mean, I'm not, though. You know that?"

"I figured. A looker like you must get guys all the time," he said childishly. He was insecure and naïve, but still cute as hell, and I very easily could have taken advantage of that.

"Look, we don't have to do anything you're not ready for," I said, trying to sound mature. It reminded me of how inexperienced I'd been when I first messed around with David and how cooperative and nice he had been for me. I was gay-ing it forward.

"I'm definitely ready," he said, leaning in and kissing me. He pulled me down onto the bed with him, proving just how ready he was. He took my hand and guided it down the length of his body until our hands wrapped around his scorching hot free weight. I gave it a squeeze and he moaned loudly. A huge amount of precum dripped onto the side of my hand.

This time, he broke the kiss and started kissing my neck. He mimicked the moves I'd made to him just fine, licking down the center of my stomach to the base of my treasure trail. As he fumbled with my jean button, I could tell that his hands were shaking and he smiled at me nervously. I helped him peel my pants off.

"I'm serious," I whispered. "We can stop right here if you want."

"Cooper, if I didn't want to see you naked, I wouldn't have come over," he said sexily. This guy must have spent a lot of his time watching porn, because that's exactly how he attacked my dick.

He licked the head for a few seconds, moistening it up. I made a point to enjoy the exploration he was giving me, discovering different parts of my dick that usually went unattended. Every movement was calculated and filed away, as if he was making a database of moves to return to later. The first time he took my head in his mouth and sucked in hard, I moaned. Involuntarily, I pushed his head down and he gagged.

"I'm sorry," he said, lifting up.

"No worries," I said, encouragingly. "You're doing great."

The novelty of being with someone with limited experience was exhilarating. I told myself right off the bat I wasn't going to fuck him that night. I felt like he needed to know a little bit more about me and sex in general before he let that go.

But I did let him suck me off and vice versa. After letting him work out his instincts for a while, I flipped him onto his back and took his cock straight to the back of my throat. I smiled to myself at how far I'd come since being in his position last semester. My blow jobs had been tentative and nervous before Spencer and I found out what worked on each other. Now, I was deep throating a guy and sucking in gallons of his precum.

"If you keep doing that... oh, fuck... I'm gonna cum," he said. He pushed my head down to the hilt, let out a yell and spewed straight to the back of my throat. I swallowed it up, sweet and salty, sticky sliding down to my stomach. The innocence of a virgin almost tasted different to me.

I slid back up his body, lied next to him and started stroking myself. I leaned in to kiss him, and the post-cum bliss he was feeling made him more aggressive. Instead of backing off and waiting for me to finish, he took my cock in his hand and started jacking me furiously.

Avery had this really interesting technique I'd never felt before. With every stroke, he twisted his hand a little, creating a nice rotation on my cock. Every once in a while, he'd slow down and really massage the base of my head. He knew exactly what it took to give a great hand job, and within minutes, I was spraying all over my torso.

When I finally caught my breath, I noticed Avery fingering the cum on my chest. Smiling, I ran a finger over it and brought it to his lips.

"Is it good?" he asked like I was offering him a sample of ice cream.

"Try it and see," I cooed. He licked my finger, not stopping once the cum was off. Shit, I thought. This little virgin is on the right track.

A second later, he lowered his head to my chest and began lapping up the cum I'd just spilled.

"You like that?" I asked, realizing just how tool-y I sounded. I didn't care. I was the experienced one in control, and it felt good.

"Fuck yeah," he said. "You taste great."

"Well there's plenty more where that came from," I said, filing that under `stupid lines'. He smiled up at me, and dove down to my still hard cock for another load. Twenty minutes later, Avery swallowed his first load of cum.

"That was a lot of fun," he said as we got dressed. He didn't indicate that he wanted to do anything more than oral, and I was okay with that.

"Yeah," I said. "I think we'll be awesome workout buddies." He laughed.

"Listen, if you're not just using me for my virginal body, I would like to actually work out with you," he said. I pulled pajama shorts on and sat cross legged off the side of my bed.

"Yeah," I replied. "Um, how about we get together in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday, Friday? That way we're not worn out for P.E. on Tuesday and Thursday?"

"Yeah, that works," Avery replied slipping his shoes on. "I'll need some motivation to keep at it. I want a body like yours someday."

The incessant compliments had been before we hooked up, but now that he'd had a taste of my body, they just felt sort of awkward. I smiled feebly and showed him out. He said he'd see me tomorrow in class, and I shut the door on him, crawled into bed, texted Spencer that I was done and pulled open The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds for my theater class.

Spencer came home twenty minutes later.

"It smells like jizz in here," he said. He walked straight for the Febreeze. "Seriously, dude. Freshen up next time."

"Get over it," I chided. He sat down on my bed and started taking his shoes off. "You might not wanna sit there."

"Nothing I haven't sat in before," he said, looking down at me. Something was off about his expression.

"What's up?" I asked, praying that he wasn't bothered by the one thing that I couldn't stand for him to be bothered by.

He glared at me for a second. "Nothing," he replied. "It's nothing. It's just. I'm trying to figure out why the hell Chase was acting so weird tonight." I breathed in. "No, it's nothing. How was your date?"

"It wasn't a date," I said quickly, glad for the subject change. "I don't date anymore. It was a workout session."

"Oh," Spencer said, standing and removing the rest of his clothes and putting on a pair of shorts that could have been either his or mine. "So it was purely a booty call, then."

"Some may call it that, maybe," I said, yawning.

"Slut. Okay, give me one minute to vent, alright?" I nodded. "Chase. Up until tonight, he's always been somewhat all over me. And I know, it's like you have a crush on someone you think they're flirting with you. Like you and your University Place buddy."

"Okay," I said. I had told Spencer about my plan to go to the concert with him and how I was irrationally excited about it.

"I just can't figure out why he was giving me the cold shoulder tonight. He's never acted like that before," he said. Spencer crawled into my, propped up on his elbow, and dished to me. The lump in my throat grew larger with every word he said. "Like, Coop, it was noticeably different. And I asked him what was up and he just shrugged at me, you know? I know I'm being a little girl about this, but I really thought that maybe he was into me."

"Spencer, maybe he's just not," I said convincingly. I felt like Judas, but I needed Spencer not to like Chase. I needed him to get over Chase so that I could feel better about getting under him. "I mean, look. You've sort of been throwing yourself at him-"

"Who said that? Did he say that I was throwing myself at him?" I hadn't seen Spencer like this since his hookup with the Baylor swimmer at the start of the year. "You talked to him at the party, what did he say?"

"Nothing," I said, sounding more defensive than objective. "But look, guys can tell when you like them. Maybe he's just trying to get you to stop flirting."

Spencer was quiet for a second. I felt like the world's biggest betrayer. Like the cock was going to crow three times any second now and Spencer would realize how low-rent of a roommate he had. The strange thing was, as bad as I felt, I still had my justifications. It wasn't my fault that Chase wasn't into Spencer. He hadn't been into him long before I came along. I was doing Spencer a favor by telling him that Chase didn't like him. He could file it away under `unrequited love' and move on. The sooner, the better.

"Your breath smells like cum," Spencer said getting out of my bed and crossing the room to his own.

I spent the rest of the week avoiding Spencer. I couldn't stand seeing him so melancholy, and whatever Chase was doing to drive him away, was definitely making him melancholy. On one night, I came home, and Spencer was listening to Avril Lavigne.

It was weird, because the less time I spent with Spencer, the less time I spent thinking about Kyle. Whether I liked it or not, those two were connected in my mind. When Kyle stopped being my boyfriend, he became Spencer's friend and my ex. They were synonymous.

That Wednesday, after a full day of class, a reading quiz on Gamma Rays, and a pop quiz in theater, I was ready to call it all quits. I had volleyball practice at 7, so I stopped by the U for a quick dinner and energy drink after my last class. I thought about running home for a nap, but decided to hang around the U and see if I ran into Sebastian at all.

I sat up in the couches I was pretty sure I would call home until I got over my hopeless crush, anticipating how difficult practice would be that night, when I got a text.

From Chase: Am I off the hook with Spence yet?

I read it and cracked a smile beside myself.

To Chase: Not yet.

From Chase: You're killing a guy, you know that?

To Chase: You're obviously still alive. You're texting me.

I smiled at how cheesy I was being. I was never like this with anyone. But for some reason, Chase evoked a playful side out of me. Maybe it was because I had no feelings towards him past physical attraction. I let myself go.

From Chase: I've had blue balls since you left on Sunday.

To Chase: Prove it.

A minute later, just as I was beginning to think he'd gotten tired of my hard-to-get game, he sent me a picture message. It was a mirror picture of him wearing a blue speedo and pulling it down over his steak and eggs. His balls, somehow, looked bigger in the photo than I remembered in real life. I looked around the second floor, hoping no one saw me and realizing no one cared what I was staring at on my phone.

To Chase: Nice speedo. I'll have to get myself one of those.

From Chase: You can borrow mine. I just left the gym. Where are you?

To Chase: Going to volleyball at the rec center. Sorry, stud. You'll have to show me that speedo later.

I could tell he was frustrated, and rightfully so. I was playing with his emotions, but there was nothing else I could do. I refused to be tempted until I was sure that Spencer was fully over him. I couldn't afford to lose a good friend over a guy. I wouldn't let it happen.

That Saturday, after the longest week of my life, I got dressed for my date with Sebastian. Rifling through all of my clothes, finding nothing suitable for an occasion like this, I wished quietly that Kyle was around to dress me.

"Why don't you just wear all black like the other emos who'll be at the club, and call it a day," Spencer said. His mood was perennially foul, but I couldn't blame him.

"Summer Set isn't an emo band," I replied. "Besides, I'm so pale right now. Black will wash me out."

"I've never in my life heard you sound so gay," he replied.

"And what are you doing tonight, grouch? Staying in your trash can and waiting for Elmo to stop by?" Spencer glared at me as I buttoned up one of his blue Oxfords.

"There is no Elmo," he said, flipping his magazine shut and lying back. "You have your heterosexual bro-date. Kyle is at a Sigma thing. I can't bear to hang out with Ian right now, and Dutch is with his girlfriend. I'm all alone."

"Ah, buddy," I said, sitting on his bed and slipping his boots on my feet. "Want me to stay behind and watch Riding in Cars with Boys with you?"

"You would do that? And cancel your hot date?" his eyes were big and puppy-dogged. I almost felt bad enough to stay.

"Absolutely not. I love you, but Sebastian is hot," I smiled, patted Spence on the knee and did a final mirror check. "He's the pooh."

"You're an asshat," he called as I left the apartment for Sebastian's dorm room across the quad. He was in the third freshman dorm building, perpendicular to both mine and Kyle's. I found his room on the third floor and knocked.

"Come in," he said. His room was like any other large freshman single, only as a dorm counselor, he got his own private shower. The room wrapped around the corner in an L shape, creating a little study nook and book shelf for him. I wondered why someone would want to live in the dorms after they didn't have to. Spencer and I were already talking about places to live off campus the next year.

"Let me put my coat on and we can dash," he said, flipping his hair back and doing a mini mirror check. "Is it cold out?"

"Not too bad," I said. A thought of his nipples getting hard in the cold flashed through my brain and I almost physically hit it away. He pulled his jacket on followed by a pair of trendier glasses than the ones he used in the U. A minute later, we were downstairs trying to hail a cab from the quadrangle.

The ride to Deep Ellum was pretty quiet. We chatted back and forth a little bit about Summer Set. I had Youtubed several of their live shows to familiarize myself with the band's sound and style. They weren't half bad-there were worse ways to spend a Saturday night.

"How was the formal?" I asked as our cab crossed I-35 towards the club district of Dallas.

"Dreck," he responded. "It gets old hanging out with self-absorbed vamps and their entitled boyfriends, you know?"

I wondered why he was with a self-absorbed vamp. He should have been with me.

Hanging out with Sebastian that night was a master class in platonic enjoyment. The concert was great and I enjoyed every second of it, but I was reminded at almost every turn how straight my date was. I was still masculine enough to pull it off, though, and the taste of Shiner became my new favorite beer.

Whereas my natural instinct was to flirt, touch, and be generally handsy, Sebastian was more reserved with his personal space and the space of others. He didn't seem to mind my pats on the arm or back when I said things with emphasis or moved around him to get somewhere. But I didn't think he realized the touches were my selfish way of getting close to someone I couldn't have.

"You having fun?" he shouted over the music as the band was gearing up for the second set.

"For sure!" I replied with a thumbs up. And I was. The music was great. The hipsters were out in full swing. It was a completely different scene for me, and I liked the change of pace. It was also fun to see Sebastian let loose. He was at home here in the audience of a club concert, singing along with the band, jumping to the beat and smiling at me.

Every time he smiled at me, my heart panged a little. It was fun to hang out with Sebastian, but I couldn't help but wonder how long I could keep it up until falling for him became too intense. For now though, I enjoyed the music, the jumping, and the smile.

"You promise you had a good time?" he asked me when our cab took us back to the quad after 1 am. I was spent, sweaty and two layers lighter than I was before the concert. I stood in front of him, holding my jacket and sweater and smiled at him.

"I had a blast. I've been waiting to see Summer Set live forever," I said.

"You can drop the charade, Coop," he said, with a half smile. "You didn't know a single song during the concert. I appreciate you coming with me, even if it wasn't your speed."

"Well... I like them now," I smiled. And then I did something my drunk mind wouldn't have considered sober. I could tell that Sebastian wasn't a hugger, but that didn't stop me. I flung my arms around him and thanked him for a great night. And without waiting for his response, I turned around, blushing, and walked back to my dorm. I officially had a crush.

To be continued...

Posted: 01/27/12