The Homo’s Horoscope

A Gay Guide to What Partners Should Look For

by: Will B
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Choose the sign under which you were born, and you should expect:

Aries (The Ram): When your partner you ram, bam, always remember to say “Thank You Sam (or Dan, or Bill, or whoever).”

Taurus (The Bull): You will be hung like one. If it's your partner, get lots of lube.

Gemini (The Twins): You are hot for three-ways.

Cancer (The Crab): Be careful you don’t catch these from a careless partner.

Leo (The Lion): Your bush will grow like Leo’s mane.

Virgo (The Virgin): Go ahead, take his ass-cherry and relieve him of his burden.

Libra: (The Scales): Balance your cummings against your partner’s pleasurings

Scorpio (The Scorpion): Sting your bitch in the ass with your prick. Fuck him with your dick.

Sagittarius: (The Archer): Be bold as a centaur, but don’t wind up as a horse’s ass.

Capricorn (The Goat): If you’re a billy, let anyone suck your willy.

Aquarius (Man pouring from a bowl): You will excel at water sports.

Pisces (The Fish): Wet and slimy, you will always be leaking pre-cum.

So, my friends, your future may NOT be in the stars, but then again, you never know!

Feedback always welcome. 

Posted: 08/17/07