by: Tyler Peel

© 2007 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent.

Chapter 48
Doctor Reynolds

*Beep, beep, beep...*

*SMACK*

"Switch it to radio...," Casey mumbled.

Luke leaned over and moved the button to 'radio' on their alarm clock.

"...And this heat wave in January will continue with highs hitting the mid 60's today through Thursday. We'll see lows in the 40's but look for the first hint of summer coming this weekend when we cruise into the low 70's! Can you believe it? Now back to Rick and Bobby in the morning on Rock 98 FM! the news director announced.

"Gooooooooooood Morning Baltimore!!!! You're listening to the Rick and Bobby show on Rock 98!" DJ Rick Ranger announces. "Bobby, what time is it?"

"It's 7:03 a.m. and time for the Rock 98 Blast from the Past! Where we play the kewlest one hit wonder songs and you tell us who wrote the song but because we know you're just waking up you only have to give us the name of the artist to win!"  DJ Bobby Burrows says.

"And what will the ninth caller win if they guess the correct artist?"  DJ Rick asks.

"Our wise and gifted listener will win breakfast for one at R.J.'s diner, a copy of the thirty best one-hit wonders CD, a half-off coupon down at Johnny's Lube and Goob, a free mix sample pack of nuts from the BMK Nuttery's grand opening of their 2nd location, a Rock 98 t-shirt, and best of all...,"  DJ Bobby says.

"What's that Bobby-meister?"  DJ Rick asked. Luke shook his head in disgust.

"An autographed picture of us!!!!!!"  DJ Bobby added.

"Whoa! How kewl is that?"  DJ Rick said/

"Why did you change the station, Case? You know these guys are assholes!" Luke mumbled as he lay groggily across Casey's chest.

"I wanted to listen to the alternative hour last night while I was doing my homework," Casey said as he gently ran his fingers back and forth across Luke's back.

"I sure hope you picked another good one, Bobby? It's hard to top those great classics you had on Monday and Tuesday like Wall of VooDoo's 'Mexican Radio' or C.W. McCall's big hit 'Convoy', "  DJ Rick announced.

"Well Rick, in the great tradition of classic songs from the past, I've pick something special to get your Wednesday morning off to a great start!"  DJ Bobby said.

"I'm so excited, Bobby, I could just burst! I've still got last Friday's blast from the past going through my head Bobby! Who could forget the 'Macarena' by Los Del Rio?"  DJ Rick added.

"Fuck, these guys are tards! I could do better on the radio if I stuck the microphone up my ass and ate a plate of refried beans!" Luke whined, and Casey laughed.

<Music begins>

"Have you figured it out yet, Rick?"  DJ Bobby asked.

"Oh God... I so LOVEEEEEE this song! Give me a second and I will remember who sang it?"  DJ Rick began.

"The song is called 'Kung Foo Fighting' and we'll take the ninth caller through for your chance to win these great prizes!"  DJ Bobby said.

"That's it! I can't take anymore!" Luke yelled as he got up on all fours while still on top of Casey and reached over for the phone.

"NOOOOOOO!" Casey yelled. "Luke you're not allowed to call them anymore! That's part of the out of court settlement!" Casey said as he wrestled his arms around Luke's waist and flipped Luke onto his back. Luke, however, brought the phone with him and grinned at Casey as he waved the receiver in his face.

Luke lay on his back with his head against the side rails of the bunkbed with Casey now on all fours on top of Luke. Luke smiled and winked as he dialed the radio station. Casey smiled and shook his head.

"I star 69'd the call first so they won't know who is calling. It's ringing! Kill the radio!" Luke whispered with his hand covering the receiver. Casey reached over and turned the radio off and then dropped his face down on Luke's chest and began planting wet kisses.

"You're caller number nine on Rock 98, and you're on the air with Rick and Bobby! Can you guess who sang Kung Foo Fighting?" Rick asked.

"It's garbage!!!!" Luke yelled into the phone.

"Nope! Sorry, it's not the band Garbage!" DJ Rick told Luke.

"No, I mean the song! It's garbage!" Luke yelled into the mouthpiece.

"What?" DJ Rick asks.

"I said the song is garbage! Like your show and the music you play! You guys SUCK!!!!!" Luke said. Casey burst into laughter and dropped face down on Luke's tummy.

"Is this Luke Anderson?" DJ Rick yelled live on air into the phone.

"Umm... no. It's his brother Kyle and your show still sucks ass... *Beeeeeeeep*!" Luke repeated and slammed the phone down on the receiver. Casey was hysterical with laughter and Luke joined in as he now savored every moment of what just transpired.

"Face it Case, pasty-assed, middle aged white guys don't know nothing about music!" Luke said lying against the side rail with his arms crossed smiling.

"LUCAS!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!!!!!" Kyle yelled from his bedroom and Casey popped his head up and he and Luke stared at each other wide-eyed.

"FUCK! I didn't think he would be listening to it," Luke yelled as he jumped out of bed and ran out the bedroom door for the stairs.

Three seconds later Casey saw Kyle run by pulling up a pair of jeans over his naked butt. Casey screamed into his pillow with tears and laughter.

'I wonder when Luke will remember that he's naked?' Casey pondered and then started laughing again.

Tyler knocked on the office door twice and then walked inside. The room was familiar but not as he remembered it.

"Hello!" A pretty girl said who looked like she was a student at Drexel as well.

"Umm... Hi," Tyler said smiling.

"You must be...," she said looking down a list, "Tyler?"

"Yes Ma'am! I have an appointment this afternoon with Dr. Reynolds," Tyler said as he sat down in one of the three orange vinyl and chrome chairs in the outer office.

"Please feel free to take a seat, Tyler!" She said without looking up.

"But that would only leave two seats left?" Tyler joked and she looked up at him, missing the joke.

"Uh huh...," Tyler mumbled with uneasiness as he stared around the room. He felt mildly claustrophobic in this small room with no windows. The imitation palm tree hadn't been dusted in years he figured, much less watered. Tyler laughed out loud at his own thought. She looked up at him and Tyler froze. When she returned to looking busy Tyler looked down at the floor as he hugged his backpack securely in his arms.

'It's okay to act crazy,' he thought to himself. 'I'm in a shrink's office!'

The door behind her desk opened and Dr. Reynolds appeared. "Would you file these, Carol and I want you to get me a copy of the official police report! Oh, Tyler, welcome." Dr. Reynolds said as he rounded Carol's desk to shake Tyler's hand.

Tyler stood up and slung his backpack over his right shoulder and took two steps forward to meet Dr. Reynolds. "Nice to meet you again, Sir!" Tyler said offering a half smile.

"Go on in and take a seat, Tyler," Dr. Reynolds offered as he extended his left arm out towards his office door for Tyler to pass by him. "Carol, would you get me the file on Tyler Peel, please?"

"You have a file on me?" Tyler asked as he turned around just inside the office door.

"And it weighs about 40 lbs!" Dr. Reynolds said and then winked. Tyler turned around in his office observing all that was before him.

On his left was a wall with bookcases overflowing and a door leading to another room that Tyler guessed was the hallway. Dr. Reynolds desk was positioned almost in the centre of the room with two office chairs facing his desk. Behind his desk was a credenza with glass shelves mounted on the wall above. To the right was a window that looked out to an enclosed, outdoor atrium with weeds and un-pruned shrubs and trees. It clearly hadn't been looked after in many years. Several framed degrees lined each side of the window along with a personally autographed picture of Bob Newhart and another one from George Carlin.

Tyler sat down in the chair on the right, closest to the window of death. He leaned forward to see an accordion picture frame of three children. Three little girls ranging in ages of 4 to 9 years old, Tyler guessed. Tyler turned to his right to set his backpack down on the floor when he noticed a green plastic sandbox with a pail and shovel stuck in the sand.

The slamming of the door behind him made him jump. Tyler turned back around to his left to see Dr. Reynolds coming around his desk with a clipboard in hand.

"Tyler, would you please start filling this out to the best of your ability? If you have any questions just ask me," Dr. Reynolds said as he handed Tyler the clipboard from behind his desk.

Tyler began filling out the application and Dr. Reynolds interrupted him.

"You're not carrying any type of weapon on you are you?" Dr. Reynolds asked without looking away from his monitor.

"No, Sir. Was I supposed to bring one?" Tyler asked, and Dr. Reynolds started laughing.

"No, Tyler. I just have to ask." Dr. Reynolds said still chuckling over Tyler's response. "Are you comfortable with my talking while you write?"

"Yes, Sir, if you are comfortable with my writing while you talk?" Tyler said without looking up from his clipboard.

"We do not videotape or audio record sessions here...." Dr. Reynolds began and Tyler paused and looked around the room. Dr. Reynolds noticed Tyler's silent query and paused his reading and typing to look over at Tyler. "Personally I would like to record all sessions for review and for protection of the patient and the Doctor but that would be a decision of the head of Psychiatry at Drexel!"

"And you're not the head of Psychiatry at Drexel?" Tyler asked with a grin.

"No Tyler, I'm not. I prefer to practice my craft rather than fill out forms for the administration," Dr. Reynolds replied.

"Yes, Sir, sorry, Sir," Tyler said, returning to filling out his questionnaire.

Dr. Reynolds paused as something caught his eye in his notes. He slowly turned towards to Tyler without him noticing. "Dakota Thompson!" Dr. Reynolds said looking for a reaction from Tyler.

"Yes, Sir?" Tyler asked, raising his head up slowly.

"Do you hear any more from him?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No, Sir. Not a word," Tyler said blankly. Dr. Reynolds smiled and returned to reviewing his notes. Tyler continued to watch Dr. Reynolds mouth move as he read silently to himself.

"Sir?" Tyler asked.

Dr. Reynolds turned his head slightly to focus on Tyler and said, "Yes?"

"Is all the stuff you're reading about me, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"Not really... we have programs now that allow good note takers like myself to cross reference things. So as an example, Cody and Ryan often talk about you and when they do I make note of it. I can search my database and locate every time your name has ever been mentioned if it was relevant enough to record," Dr. Reynolds said proudly.

"That's just creepy!" Tyler said. "Do they talk about me very much?"

"My, what an ego you have, Mr. Peel, and no, you are not the main topic of conversation but I can say that you are very highly respected!" Dr. Reynolds said. "If I had ten different patients talking about you and nine liked you but one didn't then it would tell me much more about the one person who didn't like you. Furthermore, if something where to ever happen to you then I might be able to provide the police with certain details to help find out who the culprit is without divulging too much confidential information," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Isn't that illegal?" Tyler asked.

"Of course it is illegal! I can't let someone read any of these files, nor can I discuss what is in them but there are ways to assist when a crime is committed," Dr. Reynolds said.

"I think that is just wrong! Who are you to decide? You could actually assist in pointing the Police in the wrong direction if you wanted to!" Tyler said somewhat disgusted in what he had just learned.

"Let me give you an example. Three girls are raped on campus! I know who the rapist is by his or her own admission in my office. By law I have to respect doctor-patient confidentiality. Isn't it morally wrong for me to withhold information that puts the public in harm's way?" Dr. Reynolds asked and Tyler didn't respond, mulling over the hypothetical question.

"The answer, Mr. Peel, is that there is no absolute right answer. If you tell me that you are going to kill yourself or someone else then I am bound by law to contact the police! Unfortunately, if you confess to something in the past or hint at some illegal action to take place in the future then I am bound to respect the confidentiality of this office, my profession, and doctor-patient confidentiality. I find this to be morally reprehensible and I still have to live with myself so I am going to break the law... quietly... to help protect society and my patient as well! If you're uncomfortable with that then we should end this session now?" Dr. Reynolds asked and Tyler looked up at him in mild distress. Dr. Reynold's face gave no clue as to whether he was angry or upset over the direction their conversation had taken.

"Tyler?" Dr. Reynolds asked, and Tyler returned his distant gaze to him.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Do you know what Euthanasia is?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I think so, Sir. Killing another person so that they are not suffering from their pain any longer?" Tyler suggested.

"Close enough! Do you have any idea how many North Americans die from Euthanasia every day?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No, Sir," Tyler said.

"Think about terminal cancer patients suffering horribly with only days or even hours left. Brain dead in a coma? People with MS, cerebral palsy, and AIDS all in their final stages of life because of an incurable disease and no longer having any quality of life. I'm talking about people who specifically request to end their suffering! It happens all the time. We all know it and we don't discuss it publicly but it really does happen because at the core, many of us are compassionate human beings!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I really hadn't given it that much thought because I guess I had blocked out the two days that my brother lay in a hospital bed in a coma," Tyler said wiping his eyes.

"Like parenting, there is no official guide book. We educate ourselves to be the best we can be and to follow the rules that society sets out, but in the end no one can prepare you appropriately for those times when you need to make life and death decisions," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Like taking your brother off of life support?" Tyler asked with his eyes welling up with tears.

"Like knowing your patient is a serial killer?" Dr. Reynolds asked in reply.

"Allow me to give you an example. I'm your enemy, Tyler. I have a gun pointed at your head and you have a gun pointed at my head. What do you do? That is a real life and death decision! Ending your brother's suffering or lack of quality of life is simply doing the right thing. Did you donate his organs?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Yes, Sir," Tyler said staring at the floor.

"Then you are a compassionate human being. You gave up something you loved to help save a few other people's lives. Now would you like to continue where we left off, continue on this path, or simply leave?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"You don't hold back any punches do you doctor?" Tyler asked smiling at the floor below him. "Just one more question Sir? Isn't admitting the fact that you might, in an extreme circumstance, divulge doctor-patient information going to sour the relationship or hinder the patient's ability to speak freely?" he added.

"Quite possibly, Tyler, but then again my being completely honest with you is my attempt to garner your trust. Remember that I spoke about the extreme situation! If I were to say to you, 'Cody says you are a really great guy' then I have broken the law! If I say to you, 'my impression, from my sessions with Cody, is that he considers you as a friend' is not divulging confidential information but rather stating my own opinion!" Dr. Reynolds said.

Tyler laughed and asked, "So that is how you might be able to release confidential information without actually releasing it?"

"No comment," Dr. Reynolds said and winked.

"Don't waste my time, Tyler, and I won't waste yours! I have to be completely upfront and honest with you if I am to expect the same in return. What would you like to do now?" Dr. Reynolds repeated.

"To apologize, Sir. I shouldn't have questioned you and if you are in agreement I would like to go back to where we were in the beginning?" Tyler asked.

"You should always question everything, Tyler. If you feel you can't be honest with me then how can I help you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Yes, Sir," Tyler said looking up at him from being bent over in his chair.

"One more thing Tyler." Dr. Reynolds began and Tyler looked over at him. "I can't help you." He added.

"Huh?" Tyler asked sitting erect in his chair now.

"I can't help you. I can't solve your problems. I can't make the bad experiences or memories go away," Dr. Reynolds said, as he continued reading from his monitor and occasionally typing a few words.

"I'm not sure I understand, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"Only you can solve your problems. I'm just here to listen and guide you along the way. I'll hopefully ask the right questions of you to point you in a direction that you need to go and maybe leave you with a few things to think about! Perhaps I should phrase it as 'keeping you honest with yourself'?" Dr. Reynolds said as he turned and smiled at Tyler.

"I understand, Sir," Tyler said grinning.

"You do? Then explain to me what I just said?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

Tyler glared at Dr. Reynolds and wondered why he seemed to be playing games with him. He also couldn't figure out why Ryan and Cody spoke so highly of him. "I have to deal with and fix my own problems. Society isn't going to do it for me," Tyler said coldly.

Dr. Reynolds turned and opened a jar on his desk. "Have a nut!" He said grinning as he popped a small handful of cashews into his mouth. Tyler faked a smile and politely refused.

"Yes, Tyler, you are exactly right! Having someone to talk with outside of your friends, family, and co-workers will allow you to relax, and in time hopefully you will feel safe talking to me. As well, I hope that you will feel comfortable to cry, laugh, joke, tell stories, ask questions, and say anything else that you might want to say," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Why do you have a sandbox in the corner of your room, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"Sometimes we all need to sit and play in the sandbox, Tyler," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Can I play in it sometime?" Tyler asked jokingly.

"If you're good and you bring your own pail and shovel! I haven't really decided if I like you enough to share my pail and shovel with you yet," Dr. Reynolds said as he popped some more cashews in his mouth without looking at Tyler and continued reading his monitor.

Tyler grinned and went back to finishing filling out his form. When he finished filling out the form he placed the clipboard on the edge of Dr. Reynolds' desk and sat in silence.

Dr. Reynolds turned back towards Tyler and got up out of his seat and went around his desk to sit in the other chair near Tyler. He flipped through the three pages of questions filled out by Tyler.

"Favourite colour?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Ummm... lime green I guess?" Tyler responded.

"You guess?" Dr. Reynolds asked looking over at Tyler briefly and then back at his clipboard.

"I never really spent much time thinking about it," Tyler said tentatively.

"Then you should have answered 'I don't know' or 'I don't have one'!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Yes, Sir," Tyler said bowing his head slightly.

"Derek is your... boyfriend?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I think that is what I wrote." Tyler said firmly.

"A yes, no, or I don't understand will suffice Tyler." Dr. Reynolds said.

"You sound like my father, Sir," Tyler said glaring at him.

"Good! We'll add him to the list of people to discuss at some point," Dr. Reynolds said.

"I don't understand, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"Good question and I might answer it later." <Dr. Reynolds paused and read more of Tyler's questionnaire> "Assume for the moment that I am like a medical doctor trying to figure out what is wrong with a patient that can't speak. I'm testing different areas and finding out what responses I get," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Why?" Tyler asked.

"Because I don't want to waste your time or mine! You wouldn't believe how many of my patients think their biggest problem is that Mommy or Daddy didn't hug them enough?" Dr. Reynolds said. "When, in fact, Mommy and Daddy should have spanked them a few times...," he added.

Tyler opened his backpack and handed Dr. Reynolds the newspaper from the cottage.

"I've already read it Tyler. Dr. Anderson emailed the link for me to read," he said.

"Then why are we playing 20 questions here?" Tyler asked defensively.

"Because you didn't bring your own pail and shovel!" Dr. Reynolds said without looking at Tyler.

"What did Dr. Anderson have to say about me?" Tyler asked.

"That's what we call Doctor-Doctor confidentiality so I can't tell you!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"There's no such thing!" Tyler said.

"There is as far as you know!" Dr. Reynolds said, smiling over his own response. "Who is your best friend?"

"Danny!" Tyler said quickly.

"Who is your alter-ego?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Kyle, Derek's younger brother," Tyler said.

"Not Danny, huh?" Dr. Reynolds asked not awaiting an answer. "Who do you trust the most?"

"Myself," Tyler said, and Dr. Reynolds paused to look over at him and then returned his gaze to the clipboard without saying anything.

"Favourite sport?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Baseball," Tyler said.

"Favourite subject in school?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Anything mathematical," Tyler said.

"So you are a problematic problem solver?" Dr. Reynolds mused. Tyler narrowed his eyes in Dr. Reynolds' direction.

"Is it tough being the Alpha-Male?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Excuse me, Sir," Tyler asked.

"I said is it difficult being the Alpha-Male?" Dr. Reynolds repeated.

"Yes Sir, I heard the question but I don't think I understand it," Tyler asked.

"You either do or don't understand it, Tyler!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"I don't understand it then..., Sir," Tyler said coldly.

Dr. Reynolds got up and walked around to his desk and opened a file on his computer. "Right here! Dr. Anderson refers to you as the alpha-male of the family!" He said and then turned to look at Tyler awaiting a response.

"I thought you weren't allowed to discuss Doctor-Doctor conversations?" Tyler asked, and then flashed a brief smile.

"And I told you I break the rules as necessary. The question still stands," Dr. Reynolds repeated.

"I don't consider myself to be an Alpha-Male Sir, but if you insist... no, it isn't a problem being the go-to guy for my friends and family," Tyler said glaring at him.

"Sort of a J.C. kind of guy then..." Dr. Reynolds said to no one in particular.

"NO SIR!" Tyler yelled. "I do NOT consider myself to be like Jesus Christ!" Dr. Reynolds smiled at Tyler's deduction of whom he was referring to.

"Excluding Jesus Christ then... <Tyler narrowed his eyes> who would you most like to be like?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Lucas Anderson, Derek's youngest brother," Tyler said abruptly and Dr. Reynolds made a notation and returned to his seat beside Tyler.

"Okay Tyler, you've got me here! I read that Derek's youngest brother is 11 years old and you want to be like him?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"It was your question," Tyler said and then flashed a short, cheesy grin.

"Humour me and tell me why?" Dr. Reynolds asked and then leaned back in his chair and crossed his right leg over his left knee.

"Luke has a segregated conscience. <Dr. Reynolds blinked and turned towards Tyler> He is completely loving and devoted to what is important in life and all the things he cares about but otherwise he is colder than the Artic Circle," Tyler said.

"Continue please... with a little more depth?" Dr. Reynolds requested.

"At the young age of eleven, Luke can spot a liar, salesman, or a con artist. He has this inane ability to read through everyone for what they really are. The Anderson family jokingly calls it being 'Luke Approved' ...or denied if necessary! His hugs and love are as real as the knife he would stick into you. Everything in life is either black or white with Luke! He takes as much pleasure sticking the knife into someone he feels is deserving of it as he does giving love to someone who is genuinely worthy of it," Tyler said. "Luke has no time for fools and idiots and no guilt feelings about taking those types of people down. In fact it might appear that is one of his main goals in life?" he pondered.

"So why exactly do you want to be like him?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Beyond the fact that he is brilliant, funny, and wise, he redefines time management unlike anyone on this planet," Tyler said.

"And time is important to you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"It's not the amount of time Sir. It's the quality of time and how it is used. My real family is dead. I can't go back and make more time with them. Life is short though none of my friends seem to realize it yet with the exception of Cody... maybe?" Tyler pondered. "I waste too much time on irrelevant things and people. I would like to be more like Luke so I could better manage my time." he said.

"Living life to the fullest? So-to-speak...," Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Most definitely Sir. As you said, don't waste my time and I won't waste yours!" Tyler responded.

"Fine, let's stick to important things then... favourite type of cookie?" Dr. Anderson asked and then flashed a cheesy grin.

"Chips-Ahoy, dipped in skim milk!" Tyler said and returned the cheesy grin.

"Chips-Ahoy cookies suck and don't get me started on skim milk!" Dr. Reynolds said without looking at Tyler. "I have a box of Dare chocolate chip cookies though if you want one?"

"One?" Tyler asked.

"One!" Dr. Reynolds confirmed.

"Dare cookies suck!" Tyler said.

"Dare-delicious! And for knocking my cookies you're not getting one now." Dr. Reynolds said and laughed at his own attempt at humour.

"I'll bake some good chocolate chip cookies and bring them with my pail and shovel next time," Tyler said emotionlessly.

"Who says we are having another session?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I'm paying for this so we are unless you say otherwise," Tyler said.

"The school provides this free of charge Tyler and yes, of course you are welcome to come back as often as you like or feel you need to!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"No Sir, I am actually paying for this! Nothing of value in life comes free!" Tyler said.

Dr. Reynolds looked over at Tyler and then got up and reached across his desk to his phone and held down a button.

"Yes, Dr. Reynolds?" Carol said through the speaker on the phone.

"Can you come in here, please?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

Carol came in immediately. "Yes, Sir?"

"Tyler tells me he is paying for this himself?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Yes Sir, when he booked his appointment he gave me a credit card to invoice," Carol said.

"Thank you, Carol, that will be all," Dr. Reynolds said.

When Carol closed the door behind her Tyler asked, "You didn't believe me?"

"I do now! I apologize. Some students like to use the 'my tuition is paying for this' line and waste my time and theirs!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Apology accepted," Tyler said and Dr. Reynolds froze and looked over at Tyler and then back at his clipboard.

"Let's get back on track here, we were talking about your inflated ego?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"That's up to you to decide, Sir," Tyler said.

"Do your friends and or enemies think you have an inflated ego?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I can't speak on behalf of my friends but my enemies have said it enough times for me to be aware of it," Tyler said.

"Why do you think they say that about you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Can I say jealousy without sounding egotistical?" Tyler asked.

"No, you can't!" Dr. Reynolds said and winked at Tyler.

"I am successful at many things that I do! Though it is not because I am any better at it than anyone else but rather I work very hard at most things I do. I'm not a good hockey player because I am gifted with talent or luck but because I work out daily, don't do drugs and consume very little alcohol. I try to eat right for the most part and sleep when I can.

I am a good server in the restaurant that I work at because I care about making my customer's meals an experience above the norm! The truth is that I am a closeted-lazy person," Tyler said and Dr. Reynolds smiled but didn't look over at Tyler. "I value my free time more than anything and work hard at trying to do things right the first time so my free time is not wasted having to redo the same task."

"But enough about you..." Dr. Reynolds joked. "So you feel that some people are jealous of you being more successful without properly understanding the work that goes into achieving what you have already accomplished?"

"Yeah... you just said it better than I did!" Tyler said smiling.

"That's what you're paying me for!" Dr. Reynolds said smiling at Tyler. "Do you hate me for being better at my job than you are?" He joked.

"Isn't that obvious?" Tyler shot back. Dr. Reynolds smiled.

"Are you a control freak?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Sometimes! When no one else seems to be in control and someone needs to step up and take control it always seems to end up being me... unless Luke is around," Tyler added with laughter.

"Do you ever think that you have created a situation where everyone simply depends on you instead of learning to fend for themselves?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"It's very possible but if I'm doing an okay job at it, then won't they learn by example just as a parent teaches a child?" Tyler asked.

"Sometimes..., yes!" Dr. Reynolds said. "But it is possible that they might be worse off because you've become their new mommy? Sometimes the child needs to touch the hot stove to learn for themselves."

"That joke is currently running in the house right now. Whenever I tell them what HAS to be done they all say, 'Yes, Mom!' and then laugh," Tyler said.

"Does it bother you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No, not at all because we all know that my intentions are for their own good and if anyone speaks up to argue or offer an alternative solution we all analyze the pros and cons of the idea," Tyler said.

"You're not going to make a very good Republican with that kind of attitude!" Dr. Reynolds joked.

"I assure you that I am not nor am I likely to ever be one," Tyler said firmly.

"How do they all know that your intentions are in their best interests?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I think past experiences have proven me to be correct and besides they've said so many, many times, but please feel free to ask them since you don't yet believe that what I am telling you is the truth!" Tyler whined.

"I did apologize Tyler and if you're going to whine you won't be getting milk and a cookie!" Dr. Reynolds teased.

"You already said I'm not getting 'a' cookie and I don't like your cookies so you don't have to worry about it." Tyler shot back.

"Your very first favourite song that you can remember?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Song on the radio or music that my parents played that I liked?" Tyler asked.

"Both!" Dr. Reynolds said, making a strange face, as he had never encountered that response before.

"My first favourite song on the radio was 'Unbelievable' by EMF and my Dad was a big Rolling Stones fan. For some strange reason when I was about four years old I kept wanting to hear 'Get Off My Cloud' by The Rolling Stones." Tyler said. Dr. Reynolds burst into laughter.

Together they began singing, "Hey! Hey! he he, get off of my cloud... Hey! Hey! he he...." Both of them started laughing.

"I always find it interesting, though not scientific, to hear what people listen to in music. It seems to tell a lot about the person within." Dr. Reynolds theorized. "Got a favourite artist in general?"

"Kenny Loggins and John Mellencamp!" Tyler said.

"Conviction of the heart kind of thing?" Dr. Reynolds asked smiling.

"You know the song?" Tyler asked.

"Own the song and the video he made at the Grand Canyon!" Dr. Reynolds said smiling and Tyler grinned.

"So why are you here, Tyler?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Huh?" Tyler asked in shock.

"I said...," Dr. Reynolds began.

"Yes Sir, I heard you. You just caught me off guard," Tyler said.

"I thought now that we've bonded...," Dr. Reynolds joked.

"Who said we've bonded? I can assure that 'bonding' to a gay man has an entirely different meaning than it does to a straight person!" Tyler said winking.

"Who said I was straight?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"The pictures of the kids on your desk certainly imply that you are straight, but then again they could be kids you've killed from your stockpile of weapons from former patients?" Tyler suggested.

"You're rather observant aren't you?" Dr. Reynolds asked and winked.

"It helps in making the right decision the first time if you listen and observe a little more than you talk," Tyler said, and then flashed a quick smile.

"Point noted! So why are you here again?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Do you want the long or short version?" Tyler asked.

Dr. Reynold's looked at his watch and sighed. He then looked over at Tyler. "Let's go with the short version!" He then paused and winked. "Tyler, tell me in as many or few words as you like! My time is your money after all!" He added and grinned.

"My entire family, including my dog, were killed in a car accident last July. This past Christmas I came across this newspaper at the Anderson cottage and had some sort of a panic attack and fainted," Tyler said and the room went silent.

<thirty seconds pass>

"And?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Sir?" Tyler asked.

"And...," Dr. Reynolds repeated.

"I'm obviously not dealing with their death or rather my loss. I don't want to suddenly think of my family while driving down the road and then pass out!" Tyler said.

"Good point! Maybe we should take your license away just in case?" Dr. Reynolds asked. Tyler glared and shook his head no!

"Gotcha! Dr. Anderson already informed me that he gave you a full medical, and be thankful because I would have automatically requested it based on what you've just told me," Dr. Reynolds said and Tyler nodded. "Now will you please tell me what your problem is?"

"I thought I did?" Tyler asked.

"Tell me again. Pretend I am five years old!" Dr. Reynolds suggested.

"Fine." Tyler said getting angry. "My family died. I'm afraid I am not dealing with it..."

"Whoa! Hold up a second! Repeat that last line in your head and tell me if that is what you really wanted to say?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

'I'm afraid I'm not dealing with it?' Tyler thought aloud to himself. "I am not dealing with it because I am afraid to!" Tyler said. Dr. Reynolds looked over and smiled back without saying a word.

Dr. Reynolds wrote a few notes down and then paused and looked over at Tyler.

"Umm. I'm afraid that if I think too much about it I am going to start crying and never stop," Tyler said staring at the desk in front of him.

"Take it a step deeper, Tyler. One step at a time," Dr. Reynolds said.

"I'm afraid of feeling the way I did when I heard the news at the airport in Philadelphia. I never want to feel that way again," Tyler said, and he put his hands to his face and started crying. Dr. Reynolds said nothing. When Tyler's eyes stopped watering he looked over at Dr. Reynolds who held out a box of tissues. Tyler accepted the box and blew his nose and dried his eyes.

"What just happened? Just now!" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I stopped crying?" Tyler asked.

"Right, and guess what? You're going to have many more tears over this and about other things in life but the mind has a way of healing. I'm going to let you in on a little secret!" Dr. Reynolds said, and Tyler nodded.

"First time experiences only happen once! Most of us experience losing one parent at a time. When the first parent dies it is a brand new experience and we fear the strangeness of the next day without that person as much as we fear the loss of past memories," Dr. Reynolds began.

"Again Sir, in English!" Tyler asked.

"Your mom baked your birthday cake! She bought you the presents! Now she is gone. You mourn the loss of what you had as much as you mourn the future without her! Your next birthday will bring a sense of emptiness and loss for a familiarity that is no longer there. You will hurt on your next birthday as much for her not being there as you do for all the birthdays you will experience in the future without her."

Now let's go a step further! Mom is gone for ten years. When Dad dies you will not experience the depth of pain with the second parent as much as the first because you've already had this experience. All things aside, there is much more in play to do with what parent you are closer to and every situation is slightly different but all first time experiences, good and bad, create the strongest impressions in your mind. Riding your two-wheeled bike alone the first time! Driving a car, getting a passionate kiss, or your first orgasm! Everyone remembers exactly what they were doing and where they were when they heard the news about 9/11. All create strong lasting impressions in your brain because it is a new experience. The experiences that touch your heart stand out even stronger. In your case you got completely and totally shit on!" Dr. Reynolds said Tyler's mouth dropped open.

"C'mon Tyler! It's not fair! You didn't just lose everyone from your past but this also means you have to move forward into your future entirely alone! I can't comprehend the experience to its fullest even though I've thoroughly studied it. This is a mind-bending experience but there is a little bit of good news!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"What?" Asked Tyler, looking up with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Every time you think about it will hurt a little less and it will never be as bad as the first time!" Dr. Reynolds said. "At some point you will realize that the fear of facing your fears is the hardest part. Eventually the good memories of your family will outweigh the negative experiences."

"Sort of like forgetting what you were mad at someone about?" Tyler asked.

"Exactly!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"What about needles?" Tyler asked. "The first needle hurts as much as the second needle, and the third... It never gets any easier."

"Ask a diabetic, Tyler?" Dr. Reynolds suggested. "You adjust, you learn, you accept, you grow, and if you dig deep enough inside of you... you cherish those memories above all others and give thanks for the quality of time rather than the quantity of time. ...To paraphrase your words." Tyler stared down at the floor.

"Are you angry? Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Only at myself," Tyler said.

"Now it's my turn to say 'Huh'?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"It's my fault that they died," Tyler said, as tears gently rolled down his face.

"Yes, I read that in Dr. Anderson's email. I must remember to inform all people who ever bought an airplane ticket for a loved one that died in a crash that it is their fault," Dr. Reynolds said. Tyler looked over at him with a cold, deep stare. Dr. Reynolds didn't look away.

"You've got every right to be angry and hold in that anger as long as you want but...," Dr. Reynolds began.

"I know, I know. My mom always said that anger, hate, and jealousy were poisons that run inside your body and you only end up hurting yourself in the end," Tyler said, with his gaze returned to the floor in front of him.

"Your mom was a smart woman! You should be proud!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"She was and I am!" Tyler replied coldly.

"Tyler, people die everyday for no good reason. It might appear on the outside to be a lame excuse but life isn't fair," Dr. Reynolds began.

"I know and I know that I am luckier than Cody. He doesn't even remember his Mom," Tyler said.

"The truth is that there is always someone worse off! The hurt and pain from such a loss will never go away completely but it can be managed and in time you will learn to appreciate the good times you had more than missing your future's loss," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Do you know why I collapsed?" Tyler asked.

"Yes, but I would rather hear it from you!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"I really wanted to be alone this Christmas. I wanted to suffer and feel sorry for myself but I ended up having the best Christmas I've ever had with people who love me because of who I am and not because we are blood related and are supposed to! Christmas is so busy at the Anderson house that I barely thought about my family. For the most part I actually forgot about them until I saw that newspaper and realized that I was having great time and they were... they were all dead!" Tyler said and burst into tears.

Tyler's tears turned into muffled, wailing screams, which finally ended in a choking fit. When he calmed down and finally stopped crying he looked over at Dr. Reynolds. "What?" Tyler asked.

"I told you the tears would stop!" He said smiling. "They will come back again and again but they will eventually stop. The more you face your fears the better you will feel. Like the diabetic, the needle may hurt at first but the end result is well worth it! How do you feel?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I'm not sure. This is sort of a first time experience for me and ...," Tyler said, and then stopped, realizing what Dr. Reynolds had said about first time experiences.

"Thank you, Sir," Tyler said.

"I didn't do anything, Tyler, except listen and point you in the right direction. You're the one that told me that one needs to be a good listener!" Dr. Reynolds said, laughing a little.

"Do I get a cookie now?" Tyler asked.

"You don't like my cookies!" Dr. Reynolds said without looking up.

They both sat in silence for a couple of minutes and then Dr. Reynolds asked, "Does anyone truly, deeply love you right now?"

"I know Luke and Kyle both do. Dr. and Mrs. Anderson both do but they are keeping a bit of distance from me. At first I thought they might not like me or were just pretending to like me but when they drove up to the cottage to check on me the day that I collapsed, I knew for sure that they really do love me. I think they are just giving me time to fit into the family at my own pace?" Tyler suggested.

"Interesting! Dr. Anderson said something similar. He was telling me that the two of you have had some very close moments but added that he is trying not to crowd you while at the same time always being available," Dr. Reynolds said.

"If I called him right now he would be here in two hours unless he was in surgery!" Tyler said.

"I think we can chalk that one up to a thing called love?" Dr. Reynolds said and Tyler nodded and laughed a little.

"May I ask another question based on what you just told me?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Sure," Tyler said.

"I just asked you if anyone truly, deeply loved you and you mentioned everyone in Derek's family except Derek! Can you tell me why?" He asked.

Tyler's eyes popped wide open. "Oh geez... Derek's and my relationship is complicated," Tyler began.

"If you know of one that isn't I would love to hear about it?" Dr. Reynolds joked.

"We started out as roomies and nothing more. We then began hating each other. Well... I can't say I hated him as much as I couldn't stand being near him. He was dating every girl he could. It's not easy being in love with a guy you hate or rather did hate!" Tyler said.

"So he is straight? Bisexual? Gay? Confused?" Dr. Reynolds asked laughing.

"Dr. Reynolds, I really would appreciate if we don't label anyone based on sexuality? If there were one group of people that I strongly dislike, or even hate it would have to be 'gay people'! I do however like nice people who happen to be gay!" Tyler said.

"Please explain?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Flag waving, effeminate behaviour, and faking a lisp is not what being gay is about!" Tyler said defensively. "The only movement gay pride should be about is equality! Being gay doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else nor should it involve entitlement. It is a non factor in what makes a man or a woman!" Tyler said.

"But you are gay correct?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No Sir! I am Tyler Peel who happens to be gay, able to cook, play hockey, and listen to music, jog, attend university, and do many other things. Being gay is a very small part of me and if I fear anything in life, it is to be judged on my sexuality above all other things. Being gay or straight doesn't make me what I am!" Tyler said.

"I'm not sure the gay community would agree with you?" Dr. Reynolds protested.

"I'm not part of the gay community Dr. Reynolds, I am Tyler Peel. Period!" Tyler said staring directly into Dr. Reynold's eyes.

"I wasn't disagreeing with you Tyler. The world has always stereo-typed and classed people into different hierarchies!" Dr. Reynolds added. "Now can we stay on track here and tell me about your relationship with Derek?"

"What would you like to know?" Tyler asked.

"My question still stands about Derek." Dr. Reynolds said.

"To the best of my knowledge Derek is gay and could even be bi-sexual but I've only known him for five months," Tyler said.

"What attracted you to him or based on what you said earlier, are you even attracted to him?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Physically he is gorgeous and that does count but not as much as it does for most people. Derek is one of the few people who never liked me, or at least he didn't in the beginning. He actually went out of his way to taunt me. This complicated things because I did fall in love with him before he ever noticed me. He will tell you otherwise though!" Tyler said grinning.

"Continue, please!" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Before I moved here I had already accepted myself as being more gay than straight!" Tyler began.

"Hold up a second! More gay than straight?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I've never been closed minded. From a sexual point of view I can take care of my needs with a hot picture and some lube. What I want is someone to be my equal, to challenge me, love me, correct me when I am wrong, accept me with my faults and most importantly to walk beside me. If that person turned out to be a female I would be okay with that as well, but from the sexual side of things I definitely prefer guys. Sex is only a small part of what makes me who I am and the same thing goes for relationships. I think after sixty years of age there isn't a lot of sex going on and you had better have a little more within that relationship than just feeling comfortable with each other or being too lazy to leave?" Tyler said.

"So Derek is the mountain you haven't climbed yet?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No Sir, and no offence, but that was rude to both Derek and me!" Tyler said.

"My apologies, Tyler. I am simply trying to figure out what exactly you are saying?" Dr. Reynolds said.

"During the Christmas break we hadn't had any time to be alone... if you understand what I mean?" Tyler asked.

"Personal time for intimate relations?" Dr. Reynolds asked and smiled. Tyler nodded.

"I was in the shower alone and feeling horny. I wanted Derek but he was asleep. I tried to concentrate on the many images in my head that I had used a thousand times before but every time I thought about someone else my mind went back to Derek and I became more aroused," Tyler said.

"I believe the medical terminology for that is... you got it bad!" Dr. Reynolds said laughing.

"There is some truth to that, Dr. Reynolds, but you have to understand that it is much, much more than sex with Derek! He constantly challenges me and questions everything he doesn't agree with or understand. He's not impressed with me and there is nothing I could ever put over him. Danny, on the other hand, follows me around like a puppy and really needs someone like Cody who is learning to lead. I don't need hero worship or a fan club! I want an equal that will walk beside me, not in front or behind me. Derek and I are very different and tend to look at things differently as well so I always end up getting a fresh viewpoint with him beside me. Every day is interesting and different with him. Again, if I can say this without sounding egotistical, Derek is learning to take the lead or at least help set the direction. I am beginning to travel with him almost as much as he travels with me," Tyler said.

"So this doesn't really explain why you didn't mention him as someone who truly, deeply loves you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Because I honestly don't know it yet. On New Year's Day he made a very romantic evening for the two of us. He wrote me a poem and that isn't like Derek!" Tyler said smiling as he recalled the evening.

"I guess I am not sure that he has matured enough to want to settle down with me. I already know that I want him for life. I want to grow old with him! Derek had always been a self-centred, spoiled brat and now he's turned completely around and seems happier but I think he's still a bit like a newborn puppy. He may want to roam a bit and discover the entire world outside before he realizes what he has at home," Tyler moaned.

"So you fear that one day he is going to up and leave you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Every moment of every day!" Tyler said. "Though I think that is a healthy state of mind to be in if you value what you have and want to keep it? Not to mention being aware of the possibility of his departure will hopefully make such an event less traumatic for me."

"Well put Tyler! It's those events that we can't prepare for that hit us the hardest," Dr. Reynolds mused aloud and smiled.

"Derek gets mad at me when I say things like 'live for the moment' but he doesn't see the world from my side yet. I've already lost everything I ever had that mattered so naturally I'm going to live in fear of losing what I have at this moment and work harder than most to hang on to it," Tyler said.

"Have you talked with Derek about your fear of losing him?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Only on the surface. It's not something I want to discuss with him because it might put pressure on him and make him feel trapped," Tyler said.

"Losing Derek would take you back to losing your parents obviously!" Dr. Reynolds added.

"No Shit! Oh, sorry, Sir!" Tyler said and Dr. Reynolds laughed.

"How are you going to get through this one should it happen?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Can we just get through my entire family dying today and deal with Derek tomorrow?" Tyler asked with a grin and Dr. Reynolds burst into laughter.

"You are too funny, Tyler! You can add me to the list of people who are jealous of you!" Dr. Reynolds said as he scribbled notes on his clipboard.

"You're not carrying any knives on you are you?" Tyler jokingly asked.

"We'll come to Dakota in good time!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Right, I forgot you knew about that until you mentioned him earlier." Tyler said shaking his head. "Are you counseling Dakota?" Tyler asked.

"No I am not. I seriously doubt the Dean wants anything concerning his grandson recorded in his own University. Moving on... you did bring Ryan in and even spent the night with him in the infirmary if I recall Ryan correctly?" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Any friend would do that!" Tyler said.

"Sadly, no!" Dr. Reynolds said. "I want to go back to one point we touched on but didn't discuss!" He asked.

"Yes, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"When we talked about Dr. Anderson, I wanted to discuss his knowledge of the death of your family and what he did or rather didn't do about it?" Dr. Reynolds said.

"You mean about not discussing it with Derek or anyone else?" Tyler asked.

Dr. Reynolds smiled in Tyler's direction.

"I was really proud of him for staying out of it. I'm not sure I could have done that if I were him? I guess it further backs your point about touching the hot stove?" Tyler mused and Dr. Reynolds grinned.

"I planned to tell Derek everything but not until after the Christmas break. I didn't want to be invited up there under the pretence of a sympathy invite. Growing up we had a Great Aunt who always came every Christmas and ruined it for our family. I told a few white lies to Derek and Kyle so that they would not suspect or even think about me during the break," Tyler began.

"But that didn't go exactly as planned, according to Dr. Anderson!" Dr. Reynolds interjected.

"I really had planned to go home and be with my aunt and uncle but between Thanksgiving Day and Christmas break I came out to my uncle and told him all about Derek. It didn't go very well and my aunt, who happens to be a fundamentalist Baptist, had plans to get me fixed when I went home!" Tyler said.

"Fixed?" Dr. Reynolds asked opening his eyes wide.

"Would de-programmed be a better choice of words?" Tyler asked.

"Geez... I see that so much these days! Everyone has always got something to say on the subject when one of the members of their family isn't turning out according to their own plan," Dr. Reynolds said.

"I didn't directly or intentionally lie to Kyle. I had planned to go home and then this happened and I came to a decision that I wanted to be alone with my own family in spirit. I was feeling sorry for myself but in truth it was to be my own time to... cry," Tyler said softly.

"I want to go back to my original point Tyler. How do you feel about Dr. and Mrs. Anderson not telling anyone?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Really good about it! They respected me enough to trust me on the matter even though it turns out that I made everyone's life in the Anderson house complete hell before Christmas. I don't have a problem with making mistakes, as in the results of not telling Derek, but I want any mistake made to be my own mistake and not someone else's! If there is one thing that I am selfish about this would be it - I like to do things in a solitary fashion. I hate group projects because I have to accept responsibility for some assmite's laziness! If I'm going to be praised for work done then I want it to be my own work. If you are going to chastise me for a bad job then I want it to be my own responsibility. The decision not to tell Derek and live with the consequences of my choice is something that I accept full responsibility for regardless of Danny and Dr. Anderson's disapproval of it," Tyler said, and released a deep breath.

"You mentioned that Mrs. Anderson was more distant to you than her husband. Can you bridge a gap together here?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

Tyler looked up and over at Dr. Reynolds and then he looked off into the distance. He raised a clutched fist with his index finger up in the air and then paused.

"Okay, we'll move on here," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Shit! She feels guilty!" Tyler yelled. "I never dealt with her over what happened! I had several talks with Dr. Anderson and assumed he would relay the gist of the discussion with her but I guess he didn't!"

"Next time you see her maybe you need to have a quiet sit down with her?" Dr. Reynolds suggested.

"... And thank her!" Tyler said looking back over at Dr. Reynolds.

"So you are not mad at either of them?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Hell no! I've never been mad at them except for Dr. Anderson borrowing my Jeep but otherwise no," Tyler said.

"You never felt inside that you secretly hoped the entire family would show up at your dorm room pleading with you to spend Christmas with them?" Dr. Reynolds asked and Tyler gave him a cold stare.

"Of course I did! I didn't want to spend Christmas alone. I wanted to spend it with my own family but spending it under the pretence that it would turn into a 'let's feel sorry for Tyler and take him in' would have made it more miserable than being alone! I knew what my options were and I balanced it between what I needed and what would cause the least grief to those around me and myself," Tyler said.

"Anyone ever tell you that you overanalyze everything?" Dr. Reynolds joked.

"You mean anal?" Tyler asked.

"If the shoe fits... but seriously Tyler, I think you did the right thing! You pretty much summed up how one should be making decisions in life. What is best for you while causing the least problems for those you love is generally a good place to start. Most never excel to that level of reasoning during their entire life," Dr. Reynolds said. "Now are you ready to continue?"

"Yes ,Sir," Tyler said yawning and Dr. Reynolds got up and plugged in a small kettle located on a table under a window looking out into a garden atrium. Tyler watched as Dr. Reynolds removed two clean mugs from a glass shelf behind his desk and placed them side-by-side near the kettle. He opened a drawer and pulled out two foil pouches, each contained a Folger's single coffee bag. He carefully removed each bag from its sterilized container and dropped them into the mugs. After pouring the water over each bag he picked up the mugs and turned back towards Tyler and said, "Black if I remember correctly?"

"Holy shit! How did you know?" Tyler asked and Dr. Reynolds grinned in silence.

"Right! Dr. Anderson...," Tyler mused aloud.

"And Ryan, and Cody...," Dr. Reynolds added.

"They've spent a lot of time discussing me?" Tyler asked as he accepted his mug of coffee and began dunking the coffee bag up and down.

"From what I gather... when you arrive at the Pearly Gates, and you will, you get to go through the door marked 'nothing to declare'!" Dr. Reynolds said and Tyler started laughing.

"Not according to the Baptists or most other Christian-based, organized religions!" Tyler said still laughing.

"Ah... but if you believe in God then anything they have to say here on earth is really nothing more than hearsay or is it heresy? I always mix those two up!" Dr. Reynolds said smiling as he took his first sip of coffee.

"Thank you for the coffee, Sir! That was very kind of you!" Tyler said as he raised his mug in salute.

"You're most welcome and next time don't forget the home baked cookies along with your pail and shovel!" Dr. Reynolds added.

"It's funny now that I think of this...," Tyler began. "Derek and I were sitting in Adam Fletcher's office. He is my lawyer. We were discussing the purchase of the new house and drawing up a will. Derek was very uneasy about the whole matter and decided to spend his time playing with the Mr. Potato Head that Adam had in the toy box," Dr. Reynolds laughed and made note of it.

"You really didn't need to write that down!" Tyler said with a look of concern.

"You might be smart Tyler but you don't get to tell me what to write and not to write!" Dr. Reynolds said without exchanging eye contact.

"Did you know that when you chastise your patients... <Dr. Reynolds raised one eye-brow and looked over at Tyler> that you rarely make eye-contact?" Tyler asked.

"Christ... you sound like my wife!" Dr. Reynolds said as he threw his pen down on the clipboard.

"Sorry, Sir," Tyler apologized.

"There is no need to apologize for something you are correct about Tyler. I just find it to be strange that you are my first patient to observe this? I can assure you that you have just made Mrs. Reynolds' night!" He said and Tyler laughed. "When she invites you to dinner you are forbidden to accept!" Dr. Reynolds added and they both laughed.

"I make my own pie pastry!" Tyler said with one raise eyebrow.

"I really want to say right now, 'so you suck cock and can cook' but that would be unprofessional! Note however that it puts you two up on my wife!" Dr. Reynolds said again without facing Tyler. Tyler laughed so hard he had to set his coffee down.

"Have you thought about seeing a psychologist or marriage counselor about your problems?" Tyler teased.

"Yes, but they're all quacks!" Dr. Reynolds said again without looking over. Tyler laughed.

"Did you parents have any physical or mental illnesses that you know of?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"None that I know of, Sir. I only have one living grandmother but she is senile and doesn't even know who I am. My other three grandparents died from either heart disease or cancer," Tyler said.

"Any alcoholism or drug dependency in your family?" he asked.

"My mother lived on Demerol but that was from being around my father," Tyler said.

"You had one brother... David! How did you and David get along?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I know this will sound weird but more like best friends! I loved him and I loved almost every moment with him," Tyler said quietly.

"It's not all that unusual Tyler! Although in a family of only two siblings, it is less frequent. In larger families you will find that some siblings pair up while others distance themselves from the rest. There seems to be very little middle ground there," Dr. Reynolds said. "Any physical or mental disabilities that you know of?"

"Nothing you are not already aware of," Tyler said and watched for Dr. Reynolds to smile... and he did!

"Any surgeries, hospital stays, and have you ever been admitted to a psychiatric hospital?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Broken ankle and hand but neither required surgery and no vacations at a psychiatric hospital yet," Tyler said.

"Where did you grow up?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"All across Canada. Ontario, New Brunswick and British Columbia." Tyler said.

"Sorry Tyler, I should be speaking slower," Dr. Reynolds said and then turned towards Tyler and winked.

"That joke gets funnier every time I hear it!" Tyler groaned.

"Speaking of jokes... got a favourite?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"A guy walks into a bar and behind the bar there is a sign that reads 'Cheese Sandwiches $2.00 and Hand Jobs $10.00'. This fat, ugly barmaid strolls up to him from behind the bar and says, "What do ya want?" The guy replies, "Wash those hands and fix me a cheese sandwich!" Tyler said, bursting into laughter. Dr. Reynolds laughed and shook his head.

"Have you got a favourite line or expression you used all the time?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Several of them but my current favourite comes from an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy on Saturday Night Live with Sean Connery. He was taunting Alex Trebek and said, 'I've got a joke for you Trebek... what's the difference between you and a Mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and the other is... I don't remember how the joke ends but your Mother's a whore!" Tyler said doing his best Sean Connery impersonation with tears rolling down his face from laughing. Dr. Reynolds stared at him and shook his head.

"I guess you had to be there...," Tyler said, and he collected himself back together.

"I'll just chalk your sense of humour up to being a Canadian," Dr. Reynolds said and sighed.

Dr. Reynolds computer made a popping noise and he got up and went to his computer. He clicked on a box and it opened up a message, which he read and then closed the box.

When he returned to his chair beside Tyler he picked up his mug and slugged back the last remaining drips of coffee in his mug and then asked, "Was your mother's pregnancy normal?"

Tyler burst into laughter. He stretched out his arms as wide as possible and said, "You tell me?" Dr. Reynolds conceded with a nod of agreement.

"Are you left or right handed?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Depends on what I am doing!" Tyler said with a grin. "For most things I am right-handed!"

"Were you walking and talking at normal times?" He asked.

"To the best of my knowledge I was. It was never mentioned. I was nine days late in delivery and weighed 9 lbs 3 oz.," Tyler said.

"You were a large baby then...," Dr. Reynolds casually mentioned at he wrote.

"Parts of me were," Tyler joked. Dr. Reynolds paused and then continued writing, ignoring Tyler's comment.

"Did you have many friends at school?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Not really. I had acquaintances. We moved around so much that I never really got to settle down with friends until high school. By the time I entered into grade seven I had been in eight schools," Tyler said.

"That certainly explains your close bond with your brother!" Dr. Reynolds commented.

"Among other things...," Tyler said in passing.

"Part time jobs?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I started with a paper-route when I was about 12 years old. I worked at a golf course on call. If they had a party then I helped with clean up or cleaning clubs and collecting stray golf balls. My first real job was at a furniture store when I turned 15 years old. I helped with deliveries, set up, dusting, cleaning, and being a general gofer and now I am a part time server in an Italian restaurant and full time student at Drexel," Tyler said.

"You also play full time hockey while attending school! How do you do it all? I'm getting tired just reading this!" Dr. Reynolds joked.

"You make time. I'm here on a hockey scholarship. I don't need the money but I really like working and helping Ryan make it to the draft. I just do what I can. I can't really explain it, Sir," Tyler said almost apologetically.

"Any children?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No, Sir," Tyler said firmly.

"Do you want children?" He asked.

"Not if I am in a gay relationship, Sir," Tyler said.

"Now you've piqued my interest! Please explain?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I don't have a problem with any gay couple adopting or conceiving their own kids. That isn't any of my business of mine what other couples or individuals do. I simply believe that all kids are best suited to grow up in an environment where they are raised by both sexes. With all of the fear of the unknown that exists today I think kids need to experience both sides. One also needs to factor in the schoolyard experience kids may have from growing up with gay parents. My father is or rather was an asshole but I still wouldn't trade having him as my Dad. Most of the negative things about him are what inspire me to not be like him and to be a better person. I think you learn from every experience and having both a mother and a father leads to a better grounding and not growing up bemoaning what you missed," Tyler said.

"Is now a good time to break from the initial questionnaire and talk a little bit about your Dad?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Your house, so you set the pace!" Tyler said.

"Actually you set the pace Tyler. We go where you take us," Dr. Reynolds said.

"My dad had his family for show. He worked in the typical cubicle culture of General Electric. He had the wife, kids, dog, home in the suburbs... all that crap," Tyler began.

"Crap?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Crap! All the stuff that is for show for the neighbours and guys at work! I learned a lot more about it when I worked in furniture retail. You deliver a piece-of-crap mattress and box spring to a million dollar home with a Mercedes-Benz S.U.V. in the driveway. The lawns are manicured but there are basically no contents inside the house. My boss would loan out his delivery trucks for a couple of nights on the week before Christmas so that the Kinsmen Club of Toronto's Toy Drive could deliver boxes of gifts for kids in less fortunate families."

"I got to go along and help! The typical house we delivered to had a satellite dish, big screen T.V., and the latest video games while the kids barely had food or clothing. The dad usually answered the door with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other. They didn't even send the kids away so the presents could be hidden!!! Some places we went to you could tell that they were high on drugs or in particular, crack-cocaine. I remember how depressed I was the first Christmas I helped out. I didn't want my gifts or anything. I think I actually made myself sick from the experience," Tyler said.

"Continuing with your dad?" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Dad didn't like competition or anything that took attention away from him. Anything he did for his family was for show to his friends and his buddies at work! Mom and Dad were almost always fighting. I often remember listening to my mother cry at night when she thought that David and I were asleep. David would sneak into my room and crawl into my bed. We never really spoke about it but I just held him in my arms and he held my hands and he knew he was safe," Tyler said.

Dr. Reynolds sat quietly while Tyler collected his thoughts.

"Every so often Dad would surprise me or the family with something nice and unexpected. You quickly learned that there was a price for it and it wasn't cheap! If he gave you something he then acted like you were in debt to him. Every time we went out to dinner he would make mom pay the tip. If she bought a pair of shoes he was in a miserable mood for up to a week afterwards even if she bought it with her own money. When he did get the complete focus of attention on him he wasn't much happier either. I think he felt guilty afterwards for his actions towards us so he then took his guilt out on us. It was a no-win situation and it's so fucked-up I can't even explain it!" Tyler said with a clenched fist that didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Reynolds.

"You did explain it well and it seems you do understand it, Tyler," Dr. Reynolds said. "There are a lot of men out there who are jealous of their children succeeding in life, especially if it surpasses their own accomplishments. The only way some people think they can rise up is by putting others around them down," He added.

"I don't hate my father!" Tyler said coming from nowhere. Dr. Reynolds picked up the signal.

"Why don't you hate your father?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I did hate him at one time. I guess I still hate him for what he did to my mother and brother, but now I just feel sorry for him," Tyler said softly.

"What is important about what you have learned is to end that cycle! Don't do to others what has been done to you and your brother," Dr. Reynolds suggested.

"No, Sir, and I am very aware of that every day," Tyler said.

"What did he do to your brother?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"He showered David with gifts and attention but only for the purpose of releasing his anger with me for existing," Tyler said.

"Could you explain that in a little more detail?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"When I was born attention was taken away from him!" Tyler began. "I was always nervous as a small child. Dad would come up behind me and scare the crap out of me. When I yelled or complained he just said I had bad nerves and told me to stop acting like a baby, but he still kept doing it. I think he found some sort of sick pleasure out it. He would find your weakness and remind you of it as often as he could," Tyler said.

"Going back to your brother...," Dr. Reynolds reminded Tyler.

"Yes Sir, I loved my brother from the moment he arrived! At first I figured that he would take the attention off of me and I could disappear but Dad just became angrier at the addition of a second child. He couldn't take it out on the baby so he took it out on me," Tyler said.

"Took it out on you?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"He never hurt us physically Sir. He played mind games. It took me years to figure out what he was doing. He would put on a big show about taking a couple of friends and me out to a movie but then Dad would say things to my friends like, 'don't do it the way Tyler does because that is stupid!' 'Don't be stupid and bull-headed like Tyler!'" Tyler said with his head hung down.

"How did your mother react to this?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"She had already been beaten down by him. On my eleventh birthday dad was ordered to take me and three friends out and he just tore me apart in front of my friends," Tyler began with his voice starting to break. "That night at my birthday party I wouldn't eat or do anything... I so embarrassed. At that age all my friends were in competition as to who had the best dad? Everyone thought my Dad was the best dad around because of what he did for them, but they also saw how he treated David and me. Mom pestered me for a couple of days because I was moping around and when I told her she explained to me that dad wasn't capable of loving anyone because he didn't love himself," Tyler said, with more authority in his voice.

"How did you feel upon hearing that?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Probably the best gift that I had ever been given!" Tyler said smiling. "It wasn't my fault! I took that information and turned things around. I challenged him, argued with him, I was no longer afraid of him... I was just disgusted with him. He knew that things had suddenly changed! He knew that his power over me was gone. I immediately went into a protecting David mode. I didn't want David to go through what I went through," Tyler said.

"That is quite perceptive of your Mom and you to figure your Dad out!" Dr. Reynolds noted.

"Mom said he was the poster boy for middle-child syndrome. Dad's older sister hasn't spoken to him in about 30 years. I've never even met her. Dad's younger brother, my Uncle David, was the spoiled child of the family. He's always been my favourite relative outside of my immediate family until I told him I was gay," Tyler said.

"Sounds like your father is a textbook case?" Dr. Reynolds mentioned.

"Once Dad clued into my relationship with David he made it his new goal to break us apart! It worked for a little while with David. I knew what Dad was doing from the beginning so it didn't bother me. In fact I was sort of entertained by the entire experience. Dad would come home with something for David and nothing for me. He was more interested in watching my reaction to it than David's pleasure at receiving a gift. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting anything show except for my complete and total happiness for David," Tyler said grinning.

"So you learned where to push his buttons so-to-speak?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Exactly! Know your enemy... the 'art of war' sort of thing!" Tyler said still grinning. "Eventually Dad got tired of this because it was no longer working on me, but he had now created a whole new problem!" Tyler began.

"David?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"David! David couldn't figure out before why he got stuff and I never did. He knew that I was better at hockey, school, and just about everything. I think he felt guilty. Then the day that Dad stopped buying him things David got angry. The anger grew inside because he didn't understand the game that Dad was playing? When David turned eleven years old I decided it was time to tell him about Dad just as I had been told. At first he was angry but I talked him through it all and he came to feel somewhere between sorry for him and disgusted with him. His bond with mom and me grew much tighter. He became my closest friend, my confidant, my partner-in-crime if you will?" Tyler posed to Dr. Reynolds.

"Dad began to refer to us together as 'stupid and bull-headed'!" Tyler said. "We actually found it funny. I learned that when he was screaming and yelling at me, usually over nothing important or even something that was untrue, that all I had to do was give him a slight grin as he ranted. Once he saw my smirk he knew I wasn't buying his crap and he would storm off angrier than when he began. He then tried it on David but I had already prepped him on how to deal with dad. Eventually dad just distanced himself from his family. I remember one time when both of us had just been yelled at by him on a Saturday afternoon before company arrived for dinner and David and I answered the door and introduced ourselves as 'stupid' and 'bull headed'," Tyler said, bursting into laughter as he recalled the memory. "Dad was so fucking mad!" he added with more laughter.

"Did your relationship with your dad ever improve?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Not really. I felt guilty about treating him the same way that he treated me but it was the only way that he would learn that I wasn't going to be his whipping boy," Tyler said, with his arms crossed and legs stretched out underneath Dr. Reynolds desk.

"I learned to become self-sufficient because of my father. I knew that without a scholarship that I would have to approach him for money to go to college. I got a job as quickly as I could to keep me out of the house in my spare time. I became more like a boarder in that house, staying out his way. If he came into the family room I quietly got up and left. If I could avoid having to sit down at the dinner table with him then I would. The only reason he would talk to me was to try to pick a fight me and I wouldn't give him the satisfaction," Tyler said softly and then added. "The final step in ending any bond we had was when I stopped adding the word 'love' to his father's day cards.

"When did you do that?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"When I was thirteen or fourteen. Around the time he started in on David. I was old enough to battle against him but David wasn't!" Tyler said angrily. "That sick fucker! I only wished he had suffered longer in that car accident!" Tyler said glaring at the desk in front of him.

"You still feel that way?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

Tyler continued staring at the desk in silence.

"Tyler?" Dr. Reynolds called.

"I don't like guns and I don't like violence. I am against capital punishment but there are people who should die! People who offer nothing to this world! People whom only take and never give! They only criticize and try to evoke division between others. I hate the human race. The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog!" Tyler said.

"Ah, Winston Churchill! Arguably the best speaker of the 20th century!" Dr. Reynolds noted.

"All of the extremists could be wiped off this planet as well," Tyler added.

"Extremists?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"The people who want to tell everyone how to live their lives, how to think, how to act, how to vote...," Tyler mused aloud.

"I'm getting mixed messages here. You're a violent, non-violent type of guy?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Maybe? I don't care what other people do. I don't want anyone telling me how to live my life. I don't have the right to tell others how to live and I expect to be treated the same way. It's one thing to make a suggestion, say your piece, and move on. It's another thing to act like you've been charged by God himself to rid the world of whatever is stuck up your ass!" Tyler said laughing to himself.

"I think you do care what other people do!" Dr. Reynolds suggested.

"I care about what the people I love do and even then I can only propose a plan of action. Danny is in danger of becoming a diabetic. I've put him on a strict regiment of diet and exercise. I asked him to give me two weeks and then he can decide whether he wants to continue or not. If he decides he doesn't care about his blood sugar levels and diabetes then I will respect his decision and back away," Tyler said.

"Is it fair to say that you impose a strict set of standards if someone wants to be your friend? Or lover?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Absolutely!" Tyler said looking over at Dr. Reynolds.

"Is that fair?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"It's my world and if you want to be in it you have to play by my rules. If I want to be in your world I will have to play by your rules," Tyler defended.

"Doesn't make for a world with a lot of friends in it," Dr. Reynolds commented.

"I consider that to be an added bonus!" Tyler said grinning.

"You really hate people?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Very much so! People are users. They demand from you but give little in return. They demand from you like you actually are indebted to them? Some people actually think they have the right to criticize my life when they don't even know me? Most people live by three rules! 'What about me?' 'Let me tell you what I think you should be doing?' and 'Have I told you how great I am?' People should expect nothing. If your life is worse than some eight year old child in the Sudan with no clothes, shelter, food, or hope of living then you have the right to complain!" Tyler said. "I just want to scream 'will you all shut the fuck up! It seems like everyone is missing our purpose as human beings on this planet," he said.

"And that purpose would be?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"You don't have to be religious but if we started with the Ten Commandments it wouldn't be a bad way to begin and I'm not talking about whether your neighbour is following them or not? Just worry about whether you, yourself are doing a good job," Tyler said with great force.

"Should I assume you are not a very forgiving person?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Assume nothing!" Tyler said coldly. "In Iowa, I walked into a hotel room to find my boyfriend sandwiched between Danny and Cody in a more than compromising position. Derek is still my boyfriend and we also live with Danny and Cody in the same house and I still love all three of them very much," Dr. Reynold's mouth dropped open.

"Ha!" Tyler said laughing. "I guess Cody didn't mention that little event, eh?" Dr. Reynolds ignored Tyler's comment. "Sorry, I forgot! That's a doctor-patient thing," Tyler said sarcastically.

Dr. Reynolds stared silently at his clipboard.

"Ummm, Sir?" Tyler asked.

"Yes, Tyler!" Dr. Reynolds said turning to face him.

"Please forgive me for that last outburst! I sincerely apologize. It was rude of me. I do understand that you have been completely honest with me and that you do have to respect the rules that you've already laid out," Tyler said and then bit down on his upper lip.

"Your apology is accepted and appreciated. It serves to back up everything I've heard about you and that is all either of us need to say on this matter," Dr. Reynolds said matter-of-factly.

"We were talking about your brother David...," Dr. Reynolds said as he flipped over a page on his clipboard. "I am wondering if you are comfortable speaking to me about David in your first session?"

"May I ask a question Doctor?" Tyler said.

"At any time you feel the need," Dr. Reynolds said.

"How did you know that David is a sensitive subject for me? You didn't ask that when you brought up my parents," Tyler asked.

"By listening to you Tyler. It's in your voice. When you speak about your brother you seem like you are in another world. A world of happiness and pain! A world that only involves the two of you! In this short amount of time we've been talking I can almost wager that most of your pain comes from the loss of your brother?" Dr. Reynolds said and Tyler became very agitated.

<A moment passes>

"Perhaps we should leave discussing David for another time. I really just wanted to touch on a little bit of everything so that I have most of the pieces of the puzzle. As we move forward, together, we will put all the pieces into the puzzle so that we can both see the picture much more clearly," Dr. Reynolds said.

"I understand, Sir," Tyler said staring at the desk in front of him.

"Do you?" Dr. Reynolds asked looking over in Tyler's direction.

"I once saw a jig-saw puzzle picture of President George W. Bush. The puzzle pieces where made from pictures of the first one thousand soldiers who died in Iraq and Afghanistan," Tyler said.

"And?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"And... I guess I am afraid that if we piece all the pictures of my life together you will end up with a picture of me," Tyler said in a barely heard whisper.

"Isn't that what we should see?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"I guess...," Tyler mumbled.

They both sat in silence for a moment.

"I love my brother, Sir. I mean I loved him. I think in more than just the way brothers should love each other," Tyler said and became silent.

"It's okay, Tyler, to love and hate people. It's human nature. It's not okay to act out upon someone you dislike or force yourself on someone you do like, but we are all different and we don't always attract. For every extended family that loves to gather together on the holidays I would guess that there are ten families that consider it to be hell?" Dr. Reynolds said.

"My Mom was as good as any mother could be under the circumstances. I think Dad had worn her down but I wasn't about to let him do that to David," Tyler said.

"During the teenage years more physical and mental changes happen than will ever occur again in your life. It is not uncommon for boys to have a brief time when they find themselves attracted to their mothers or fathers in more than just the average way. I often see hero worship from younger siblings towards their older brothers or sisters. Incestuous love isn't anything new and most of those who go through that experience may come out it with a better understanding of right and wrong," Dr. Reynolds began.

"So you don't disagree with it?" Tyler asked.

"I wholeheartedly disapprove of it! Let's forget about the problems created from inbreeding and simply look at the psychological after effects. Not everyone who has experienced an incestuous relationship leaves with never healing scars, but those who are hurt by it have a very difficult road to recovery ahead. In the same sense, adult-child relationships have proven to cause multiple problems for that child later in life. There is a clear pattern of drug and alcohol abuse, violence, and suicide caused by such relationships!" Dr. Reynolds said.

"Sometimes the adult is confusing sex with love and thinks that a sexual relationship is simply a higher form of love. In reality, it is more about self-gratification and dominance over someone less able to defend them self. If the intent of the adult abuser was sincerely about love then he or she should have realized that the child is simply that - a child! Children are not ready to handle such complex relationships."

"I never crossed that line, Dr. Reynolds!" Tyler said leaning his elbows on his knees and staring the doctor down.

"I'm not here to judge you, Tyler," Dr. Reynolds said.

"The temptation was there again with Derek's brother Kyle. Kyle is incredibly mature about some things for his age. He really had or may even still have a crush on me but I managed to cool it down somewhat," Tyler said cryptically.

Dr. Reynolds grinned and asked, "I hate to ask this but is anyone straight in the Anderson family?" Tyler laughed.

"Luke! He refers to himself as the only sperm donor in the family! <Dr. Reynolds laughed> His excuse for eating the last piece of dessert is that he needs to build up his sperm count because he is the only 'breeder' left in the family!" Tyler said laughing.

"I'm beginning to wonder if I should have done my Master's thesis on Luke?" Dr. Reynolds joked.

"No one would believe you, Sir! If they ever make a movie about Luke it might be called 'Lucas Anderson's Day Off'!" Tyler joked.

"Another Ferris Bueller?" Dr. Reynolds asked and Tyler nodded. "Okay, Tyler, let's stay on track here. Having those feelings you have are quite common. Knowing when to act or not on those feelings is more than just a sign of maturity. It's a sign of true love! If you really love someone then you will put aside your own needs for their benefit and I am guessing that if the opportunity was ever there for something to happen between you and David that a little bell rang inside your head and told you this is not right."

"It did, Sir, and I heard it!" Tyler said. "I just have those 'what if' feelings."

"Life is full of forks in the road Tyler and often you know that danger lies ahead on one of those roads. I think you knew it and chose to avoid it. You're bright and your future will be full of a lot of happiness and some pain. I think we are about out of time for today but I want to leave you with a few thoughts!" Dr. Reynolds said and Tyler nodded.

"Your concept of living for today is good but you do need to look into the future and set goals. I wish more people had your enthusiasm about making the most of each day but I want you to search for a happy medium between the two. When you said that you wanted to walk in the future with Derek at your side this already shows that you are looking forward! David was a major focus of your life these past years. Those years should have been spent enjoying being a kid and preparing for your future but the best laid plans of mice and men...," Dr. Reynolds said.

"There is love and happiness, joy and pain circling around us all the time. Improve what you can about yourself and accept what you have no control over. Easier said than done, I realize, but you are taking the first steps here to learn how to do that," Dr. Reynolds said smiling.

"One more thing, Sir?" Tyler said handing Dr. Reynolds a piece of paper. "That is the phone number for Matt Durrell. He lives in Seattle. A teacher had sexually abused his younger brother Jesse. Jesse is in need of private counseling and I need you to find someone qualified in that area who might be able to help him?" Tyler asked.

"I'll take care of it, Tyler," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Thank you for seeing me and giving me those thoughts to consider. When would like to see me next?" Tyler asked.

"Whenever you are ready or want to see me Tyler. Since you are paying for it yourself I also do Saturday morning bookings if you ever need me?" Dr. Reynolds offered.

"I'm less afraid now than I was an hour ago. I think I would really like to talk with you again as soon as possible?" Tyler requested.

"That's good because now you are going to take over the talking and I will do the listening! How would this Saturday morning at either ten or noon be?" Dr. Reynolds asked looking at his appointment book.

"Ten would be better Sir! By the time I have had my run, made breakfast, done some house cleaning, and started laundry I should have no problem being here for ten!" Tyler said and Dr. Reynolds smiled and shook his head.

"I do well to have finished my coffee by ten!" Dr. Reynolds said laughing. "Now, Saturday sessions are at my home office. I will have Carol email you my address."

"Is it okay to bring cookies for the kids?" Tyler asked.

"That's a bit like asking if it is okay for Santa to bring presents?" Dr. Reynolds joked. "Now normally I have my patients exit through this side door but I think today it would be better if you exited through the reception area!" he added holding the door open.

"Why is that?" Tyler asked.

"I got an message from Carol earlier that someone is waiting for you and they apparently seemed quite worried about you being okay," Dr. Reynolds said winking as he pushed Tyler through the door.

Derek jumped to attention as if the principal had just walked into the classroom.

"Hey?" Tyler said

"Hey, yourself." Derek said cautiously.

"What are you doing here?" Tyler asked as he walked over to Derek.

"Just worried about you, *ahem* I mean just waiting for you," Derek said shyly, and then he pulled Tyler into a tight hug in front of Carol and Dr. Reynolds.

When they parted Tyler turned around and said, "Derek, I want you to meet Carol and Dr. Reynolds!" They all shook hands.

"Maybe some day you will come sit in on a session with me and Dr. Reynolds?" Tyler asked Derek.

"Ummm... I don't know!" Derek said.

"Don't worry! You belong here! Dr. Reynolds thinks you must be crazy to be with me!" Tyler said while winking at him.

"I was just worried about you!" Derek repeated quietly into Tyler's ear.

"That just means so much to me, Derek. There really are so many ways to say 'I love you' and you just said it again," Tyler said.

*Ahem* Dr. Reynolds said, clearing his throat.

"Oh, sorry," Tyler said turning around with a big grin. Derek blushed!

Dr. Reynolds smiled and Carol laughed holding her one hand to her mouth while handing Tyler an appointment card for Saturday morning.

"The address and directions are on the other side of the card!" Carol said.

"Thank you very much!" Tyler said to Carol as they left the office.

"Did you bring your Jeep?" Tyler asked as they walked down the hallway.

"No." Derek said. "I saw your Jeep parked across the street from the house so I decided to just walk over here." Derek and Tyler waved to Mike in the guardhouse as they walked off the University grounds and headed home.

"It was really nice of you to be here but it wasn't necessary," Tyler said, as he walked on the inside of the sidewalk with his backpack slung over his right shoulder.

"I didn't come because I had to Ty. I wanted to be there," Derek said shyly.

<Two blocks are walked in silence>

"What do you want to do for dinner?" Tyler asked.

"Dinner's already done and waiting!" Derek said quietly.

"Really? What are we having?" Tyler asked.

"Really, really, and it's a surprise!" Derek said with a faint smile.

"What's the occasion?" Tyler asked.

"Your family loves you and is worried about you," Derek said and Tyler slid his hand into Derek's hand.

"I'm not sure we should be holding hands in public!" Derek said.

"Don't worry, if anything happens I will protect you and I already know you will protect me!" Tyler said, and then squeezed Derek's hand three times.

"Can you believe this weather?" Tyler observed as he unzipped his winter coat. "The sun is shining, the temperature is almost hot for January, and we are walking down a street in the city of brotherly love hand-in-hand! It doesn't get much better than this, does it?" he asked.

"It does, but this is alright too!" Derek said as he looked straight ahead. Tyler looked over at Derek and then returned his gaze to the sidewalk ahead of him.

"Are you excited about your birthday party this weekend?" Tyler asked and Derek laughed.

"I really don't want a party and you know it!" Derek said.

"And you know that this party isn't really about you? It's an excuse to meet our neighbours, introduce our new home to our friends, and I think it might be good for Austin and Justin as well?" Tyler said.

Turning the corner on to their block Derek asked, "Is there any truth to the rumor that I am getting a giant sized penis cake for my birthday?"

Tyler laughed and said, "No comment!"

"I heard you modeled for it?" Derek asked grinning.

"Be serious... we couldn't fit the cake in the front door if it was that big!" Tyler joked and Derek punched Tyler's left arm.

"A penis shaped cake with a cow print design on it will look more like a diseased cock!" Derek said and then added. "I just thought you should be aware of that?"

"Don't worry... we quashed all four of Danny's ideas... more so out of respect for cows than anything else!" Tyler teased. "How do you like our new home now that it is actually furnished?"

"I like the fact that I've set a record of two straight nights in bed alone with you and was able to wake up with only the two of us in the bed," Derek said grinning.

"You're obviously not factoring in Echo and Chaos?" Tyler asked and Derek shook his head.

"Okay, I see them! Let her out!" Luke yelled.

Casey opened the door and let Abbey outside. She stood on the front stoop sniffing the air. "Go get 'em!" Casey yelled and slammed the door shut. Abbey hurried down the steep steps and when she reached the sidewalk she looked right and the left. Immediately recognizing Derek and Tyler she ran full speed in their direction.

"Incoming!" Derek said and Tyler looked straight ahead.

"That dog looks a bit like... Abbey?" He asked. "ABBEY?" Tyler yelled and Abbey tackled Tyler to the ground. Tyler looked up at a grinning Derek.

"Assmite!" Tyler said laughing. "Who all is here?" Tyler asked.

"Just your family... no one special," Derek said with a straight face and then winked and smiled.

"Let's go!" Tyler said and all three jogged the last ten houses until home. When Tyler opened the door Luke and Casey yelled 'surprise'!

Tyler dropped his backpack on the landing inside the door and put one arm around each boy. Using his strength he picked both up and kissed each one before setting them back down.

"What's your shirt say, Luke?" Tyler asked and Luke spread his arms wide open so Tyler could read it.

"JESUS SAVES... <and below it read> ...But the rest pay retail!" Tyler read aloud and laughed. Luke grinned and winked at Tyler.

Echo and Chaos were next on the list with each insisting on a pat and a hug and then quickly heading off downstairs with Abbey.

Chris came down the three steps from the living room to the entranceway to give Tyler a tight hug and kiss. "Are you okay?" He whispered in Tyler's ear.

"Never been better!" Tyler whispered back. "Thanks Chris. I love you so much and I'm so lucky to have you as a brother!" Chris squeezed Tyler tightly before releasing him.

Kathy came over and hugged Tyler as he reached the top of the stairs. "We're all thinking of you today, Tyler," she said as she hugged and kissed him.

"Thanks, Mom," Tyler said kissing her cheek.

"I love your place! Can I rent a bed on the third floor?" Kathy asked teasing Tyler.

"Do you do windows?" Tyler asked and winked at her. "Is Ian here?" He asked.

"Sorry, he had to work," Kathy said, "But he sure will appreciate hearing that you asked about him."

Jeff was next to hug Tyler and neither spoke a word because words weren't necessary.

After receiving hugs from Larry, Linda, Cody, and Danny, Tyler asked, "Where's Kyle?"

Everyone grinned but said nothing. Tyler felt three taps on his back and spun around to see a grinning Kyle. Tyler flung his arms around Kyle lifting him into the air and spinning him around. Kyle closed his eyes and hung tight savoring the moment.

When they stopped spinning around in circles, Kyle and Tyler held each other firmly saying nothing until Derek asked, "Should I be getting jealous?"

Tyler released Kyle and Kyle said, "Yes!" Tyler cuffed Kyle up the backside of his head.

"It smells like Chinese food?" Tyler asked as he kept his arms wrapped around Kyle.

"How perceptive of you?" Derek said grinning.

"Why are you all here?" Tyler asked in confusion.

Linda came over and hugged him saying, "Because we were all concerned about your first meeting with the doctor and wanted to make sure that you were okay," Tyler hugged Linda tighter as his eyes began to water.

"I don't have any words to describe what I'm feeling right now," Tyler said.

Derek, Danny, and Kyle all said "Yea!!!!!!!!" Tyler glared at them all and then laughed.

"I have another appointment on Saturday morning if you all want to come up again? Hint! Hint!" Tyler said grinning.

"I think I have to clean my bedroom...," Kyle said grinning at the others in the room.

"Oh yeah, Tyler, I've got housework to do!" Linda said smiling at him.

"I'd really like to Tyler but I'm having a root canal on Saturday morning!" Larry added.

"If I didn't love you all so much I would hate you all right now!" Tyler said.

"I think we are all set to eat!" Kathy said as she and Linda finished putting all of the Chinese food containers on the dining room table.

Danny whistled and Abbey, Echo, and Chaos came upstairs followed by Jeff, Luke, and Cody carrying Casey. They all gathered around the table while Derek fed the dogs and Danny put the finishing touches on a fresh spinach salad.

"Who wants to say grace?" Tyler asked and then pointed at Luke to say, "Don't even go there!" Everyone laughed.

"I will!" Danny said as he sat down at the table in between Kathy and Jeff. Everyone held hands under the table. Luke and Kyle each squeezed Tyler's hand three times and he returned the sentiment.

"Dear Lord, we thank you for this bountiful harvest before us, even if I am not allowed to eat most of it... <snorts throughout the room> Cody, Derek, Tyler and I thank you for bringing our family here safely and if you could dump two feet of snow in the next hour so they have to stay a few days we would be even more thankful?" Danny said.

"YES!!" Luke said with a big smile.

"We ask you to keep our pending addition to this family safe so he or she can share in all the love we have been blessed with. We ask you Lord to look favourably upon all of our friends and family members who can't be here with us and most importantly of all we ask that you take care of our Tyler, without whose presence this new family wouldn't exist - Amen!" Danny said.

"Whoa!" Casey said smiling.

"Whoa!" Everyone else said and laughed.

"That was really beautiful, Danny," Linda said as she gently caressed her tummy.

"Nicely done, Daniel!" Larry said winking at him.

"You can stay...," Tyler said casually with a straight face until the room erupted in laughter.

Everyone began passing aluminum foil containers around and filling their plates. Tyler noticed that Danny had a plate full of salad and a small portion of 'beef and Chinese greens' and the 'sizzling beef with scallion'. Tyler loaded his plate with salad as well as some Cantonese chow mein. Danny looked over at his plate to see that Tyler was eating the salad that Danny had made first. Danny smiled.

As everyone was eating Tyler noticed the silence and asked, "Is there a reason why it is so quiet in here?" They all froze and looked around at each other.

"Everyone wants to know if you are crazy or not?" Luke asked and Larry swatted the back of his head. Tyler laughed out loud.

"Yes, Luke, I'm certifiably crazy," Tyler said.

<More silence>

Tyler set his fork down on his plate. The bit of noise from the fork being set down made everyone freeze.

"Okay? Enough already! Either you people start talking or I'm going to go eat elsewhere. If you have any questions about my first meeting with Dr. Reynolds then please feel free to ask and I will answer them honestly," Tyler said and everyone looked around in silence.

"Did you talk about me?" Luke asked grinning.

"We did!" Tyler said and everyone seemed to relax a bit.

"What did you say?" Luke asked sitting up.

"I told him you were the most honest person I had ever met, the first member of my family that I ever said 'I love you' to, and that you were obsessed with peanut butter!" Tyler said as he winked at a smiling Luke.

"And what did he say?" Luke asked.

"He would like to meet you and he wished he had done his Master's thesis on you!" Tyler said, and Larry laughed the loudest.

"Did you talk about me?" Casey asked nervously.

"Sorry Casey, you're not crazy!" Tyler said and Casey snorted his lemonade back into his glass. Luke made a face at Tyler and then smiled.

"Does he feel he can help you?" Derek asked.

"Nope. He can't help me at all," Tyler said to a shocked and silent room. "I have to help myself by being honest about what happened and make use of the family I have to assist me." Everyone clapped.

"And eat peanut butter!" Luke said as he coated a breaded chicken ball in Kraft Smooth peanut butter.

"What did you think of him?" Cody asked.

"At first I wondered what you and Ryan see in him. You guys always say how great he is but at the beginning I was wondering what the hell I was doing there? He has a very blunt manner, with a sarcastic sense of humour," Tyler said.

"Really?" Cody asked. "He's very quiet and shy around me and Ryan."

"You go to a shrink?" Casey asked.

"Yup! I'm crazier than Tyler," Cody said as he pinched Casey's leg three times.

"What's wrong with you?" Casey asked. Tyler jumped in to save Cody.

"Casey, sometimes we all need a little extra help in dealing with things that go on around us," Tyler said and Casey nodded. Tyler gave a brief smile to Cody and it was returned with a nod of thanks.

"So are you impressed with this Dr. Reynolds?" Larry asked.

"I'm not sure impressed is the right word... I don't know him that well but he seems to know how to push the right buttons," Tyler said.

"Buttons?" Linda asked.

"Yeah, we really went into a lot of depth about everything for short periods of time. He wanted me to touch on all the basics of my life from childhood to today. He wanted to know about my relationships with my family growing up, school, friends, all of you...," Tyler said and Danny started coughing.

"That too!" Tyler said looking at Danny briefly.

"Did you cry?" Luke teased.

"A few times." Tyler said and Luke's mouth fell open. "It was all good tears, Luke. In some ways you and Dr. Reynolds are a lot alike. Neither of you are afraid to ask the tough questions, and he won't stand for any crap either."

"You said you are going back to see him again?" Kathy asked.

"I have another appointment on Saturday morning at ten." Tyler said. "I should tell all of you that I am really comfortable with answering any questions about it but some things may need to be asked or answered in private. Not because of me but simply to protect the confidentiality of the person I had the experience with."

"Did you talk about your little brother?" Kyle asked.

"Quite a bit. That's where most of my problem is focused around. I don't want to bring anyone down but just so that I only have to say it once, I want everyone to know that after two days in a coma I made the decision to take him off of life support and donate his organs. I guess the hard part was that after losing everything else the only thing I had left was my brother," Tyler said.

"Could David have recovered?" Luke asked.

"LUCAS!!!!!!" Linda yelled.

"Mom, it's fair and a good question. Yes Luke, he might have recovered but the odds were very slim and even if he came out of the coma there was so much brain damage he wouldn't likely have been his old self. We will never know if I made the right decision but I knew that if David could help some other people around this world in need that he would have wanted to," Tyler said and Derek reached under the table and squeezed Tyler's hand three times.

"Cool! That's what I would want if I were in his place," Luke said casually.

"Me too, Luke!" Tyler added.

"We can donate your organs right now?" Kyle said to Luke. Luke stuck his tongue out at Kyle.

"After this morning you're lucky to even be breathing!" Casey whispered to Luke but everyone at the table heard.

"What happened this morning?" Larry demanded to know.

"Nothing, Dad! It's all taken care of now." Kyle said and Larry happily accepted that he didn't have to pursue it.

"As long as the school or police haven't called the house by the time we get home then we will consider the matter closed," Larry said as he reached over for the container of chicken fried rice.

"Sir?" Danny said. "That's loaded with carbs!" Larry paused with the container in his hand and stared at Danny. Larry set the container of rice back down. Danny lifted the bowl of salad and handed it to him with a grin. Tyler, Derek, and Danny started laughing.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Casey asked Cody.

"Yeah, Casey, I am already much better thanks to Tyler making me go see him," Cody said.

"Do you feel somewhat better for going?" Linda asked Tyler.

"A million per cent better, Mom!" Tyler said smiling and Linda reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Aside from having to do it yourself what else did you learn?" Danny asked.

"The most important thing I learned aside from having to do it myself is that my greatest fear is of fear itself. I was afraid that if I started to deal with it then I would break down and cry and never stop. I cried a few times and it stopped and then I felt better," Tyler said.

"You also learn that every experience, good or bad, has to be dealt with, categorized, and filed away but never forgotten," Cody said.

"What do you mean?" Casey asked.

"Can I use you and Luke as an example?" Cody asked.

"Sure." Casey said and Luke shrugged his shoulders as he was busy filling an emptied out egg roll wrapper with peanut butter.

"You guys have a fight. You both hurt and then you make up. You both forgive but you really shouldn't completely forget. It's a learning experience and sometimes you need to pull that file out to remind you not to get into that situation again. Does that sort of make sense to you?" Cody asked.

"Uh-huh...," Casey said he lifted a clump of chow mein noodles with his fingers and held them over his mouth before dropping them in.

"Use a fork!" Cody whispered to Casey.

"You beat me to it!" Kathy said, glaring at Casey.

"I'm sorry," Casey said and picked up his fork.

"The thing that Cody and I are learning that you guys can learn right now, Casey, is not to be afraid of a problem that you can't solve alone. It's not just okay to ask for help, but it's pretty dumb not to seek advice about a problem that you can't fix," Tyler said.

"And I'm the poster boy for that, Casey! I spent many years sulking. I shared my misery with everyone and my love with no one," Derek said.

"True, but you are more than making up for it, now!" Tyler said.

"Money speaks louder than words!" Luke added with his mouth full. Everyone looked at him. "I'm just saying what everyone is... OW!" Luke yelled.

"On that note...," Danny sighed. "Have you thought about a name for baby?"

"Luke two?" Cody suggested with a big grin.

"Bite your tongue... hard!" Derek said and Luke stuck his tongue out at Derek.

"I second that, Derek!" Larry added, and Luke thought twice about making any comment to his Dad.

"No one can replace my Luke!" Casey said, and Luke beamed with pride.

"I'll second that!" Tyler added.

"Luke two would be far too confusing. We could just go with terminator two if we want to name a boy after Luke?" Larry suggested. Luke narrowed his eyes while everyone else chuckled.

"Seriously though, have you considered any names?" Kathy asked.

"We talked about Elizabeth for a girl and Ryan James or R.J. for a boy!" Linda said.

"Anyone have a suggestion?" Larry asked.

"As long as it isn't the name of someone who's been on Jerry Springer I am cool with it," Luke said and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Okay, Laquisha, Latisha, and Shanequa are off the list then," Danny said too much laughter.

"How about Charlotte or Charles?" Cody proposed. "Either way they would be called Charlie."

"One Charlie Brown in this family is enough!" Larry said as he messed up Kyle's hair.

"Good grief, Dad!" Kyle said shaking his head and then grinned. Tyler winked at him acknowledging his quick come back.

"Well, then, I won't bring up my two alternatives of Linus and Schroeder then...," Cody joked.

"Tyler's wheels are spinning! I can tell!" Danny said. "What name are you thinking of?"

"It's none of my business! I like Elizabeth, Beth for short and R.J. is very good as well! Beth Anderson seems like a timeless name. I will say I would hate to see her named, Tiffany, Brittany, or any of that crap!" Tyler said.

"Spit it out, Ty, you've got names for girls and boys!" Danny prodded.

"Nope, I don't want to influence Mom and Dad's decision," Tyler said.

"C'mon, Tyler, spit it out!" Linda said.

"Okay, I will give you my choice for a boy only because it's going to be a girl!" Tyler said and Danny rolled his eyes.

"And it is?" Danny asked.

"It's my favourite name for a guy and it works well with the last name Anderson." Tyler said and paused.

Everyone stopped eating to await the announcement.

"Liam!" Tyler said.

"Liam Anderson!" Larry said aloud. "I like it!"

"I also want to add that if it turns out to be boy, though it won't be, whatever name you want to call him should be his second name." Tyler said.

"Huh?" Derek asked.

"Look at all the successful people with names on office doors as opposed to having a name on their shirt! He could be R. Liam Anderson," Tyler said.

"It does have that corporate feel to it!" Larry said.

"I like Peter!" Linda said.

"Oh, yeah, Peter is a great name!" Kathy added.

"Ugh! Peter's out when two women of your age like it!" Luke said. "Ow!" he said.

"I didn't even swat you yet, Luke?" Larry said and laughed.

"How about Alex or Alexander?" Derek tossed out for debate.

"AA?" Larry asked and grinned.

"Right...," Derek moaned.

"Okay, Tyler, give us the girls names since you've now named the boy!" Linda said teasing him.

"Huh? No way! I don't want the kid blaming me if he or she hates the name," Tyler whined.

"Buck up and be a man!" Luke began, "we already blame everything on you now!"

"Do we still have that pan of chocolate peanut butter squares in the freezer?" Tyler asked of Derek.

"Probably since you're the only one with a key to the freezer." Danny said.

"Good! I WAS going to bring them out for dessert...," Tyler said.

"Huh?" Luke piped up.

"They're so good when you take them out frozen and give them about thirty seconds in the microwave oven and add a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream on top! Then you squirt melted peanut butter over the top!" Tyler teased.

"Stop it! You're killing me... I'm serious!" Danny said in a deadpan voice.

"It's okay, Danny! We ran today and we work out tomorrow! You could probably have Luke's piece," Tyler said glaring at Luke.

"I apologize, Ty! You are the Master! An evil one but still the master!" Luke conceded and everyone laughed.

Derek and Cody cleaned up the table while Tyler dug out a 9 by 13 pan of the squares. He cut large pieces of each and gave them to Danny to microwave one-by-one. Together, they covered each one with a scoop of ice cream and a mixture of melted chocolate and peanut butter. They served everyone but Luke and themselves.

Tyler returned to the table asking if anyone else wanted some. Luke glared at him with narrowed eyes eating away at his dessert.

"The question still stands?" Luke said coldly.

"Where did you get that?" Tyler asked staring at his dessert. Luke looked over at Casey and grinned with his mouthful.

"You little brat, Casey... you sold me out?" Tyler said shaking his head. Casey smiled.

"Elaine or Melanie!" Tyler said as he handed Casey his own piece of chocolate peanut butter square and kissed the top of his head.

"I like both of those!" Kathy said.

"Agreed!" Cody added.

"They are kind of classy and timeless," Larry said to Linda.

"Don't anyone go there! Mom, don't listen to them! Beth is a wonderful name," Tyler said.

When dessert was over, Derek served coffee while Linda and Tyler worked on the dishes.

With Tyler washing and Linda drying the dinner and dessert plates Tyler whispered to Linda, "I have to apologize, Mom. Something that came out in today's session was about my decision making abilities or lack there of? We were talking about my deciding not to tell Derek and everyone else that I wasn't going back to Toronto for Christmas. Dr. Reynolds had me go through each person in my life and how this affected them. To make a long story a little bit shorter. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated your respecting my wishes not to tell Derek or anyone else. No matter how wrong it was to do, it was my decision and I just wanted to thank you for showing me the respect you have for me."

"It wasn't easy and you really have to thank Larry because he was the one forcing me to respect your wishes," Linda said.

"I'm sorry that I put you and Dad in that position and I hope you will accept my apology?" Tyler asked.

"You don't need to apologize, Tyler. I have no experience in what you've gone through. I just wish I could do more for you, but I'm always worried that you might think I'm trying to take your Mom's place," Linda said.

"My mom was a great lady and no one will ever take her place, but you are just as great of a Mom. If you don't correct me when I'm wrong then how will I ever learn?" Tyler asked.

Linda pulled Tyler down towards her and kissed his cheek. Together they hugged in silence.

"Dad? I think Mom and Tyler are gettin' it on?" Luke said and Larry reached out to swat Luke but he got away.

"Why don't you boys go downstairs and watch a little TV before we head home?" Larry ordered. Luke, Casey, Cody, Danny, and the three dogs headed downstairs while Chris and Kyle snuck away upstairs unnoticed.

Tyler felt a pair of arms go around his waist. He looked down at the hands and said, "Hmmm... pink nail polish, big honkin' diamond ring, and... White Diamonds perfume I believe... must be Derek!" Kathy burst into laughter.

"You're so sleeping alone tonight, Mr. Peel!" Derek yelled from the dining room table.

"Yes!!!" Tyler said pumping his fist in the air.

"Are you really doing okay?" Kathy asked.

"I've got almost all of my brothers here to surprise me. Life doesn't get much better than this!" Tyler said. "How is Casey doing?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Kathy said as she released Tyler and winked at him. "Why don't you let me help Linda finish up and you go spend some time with your brothers?"

Tyler hugged and kissed Kathy. "Thanks, Mom!" Tyler said to Kathy.

Tyler came over to the dining room table and put his arms around Larry from behind. "Want to come downstairs, Dad?" Tyler asked.

"I was thinking of grabbing a quick snooze on the sofa if you don't mind? It was an early morning for me," Larry said.

"DAD! DAD! COME QUICK!!!!!!!!" Luke yelled from the basement. All three went running downstairs!

"What's the matter?" Larry called.

"LOOK!" Luke yelled pointing to the TV.

"... There's more to life than just Crunchy or Creamy at P.B. Locos Gourmet Peanut Butter Cafés! We're just crazy about our gourmet peanut butters! Drop into anyone of our six cafés located nationwide! The kid inside will love our twelve different flavours of peanut butter as much as your adult taste buds will! Check us out on the web at www.pbloco.com!"  The announcer said.

"Dad! Can we go to Woodbridge, New Jersey? PLEASE? ...PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?" Luke screamed jumping up and down.

"We'll see Lucas!" Larry said, getting aggravated with Luke's fit. Everyone was laughing at, and with, Luke.

"Who says there's nothing in New Jersey?" Cody quipped.

"I need a computer right now!" Luke demanded.

"Mine's in my backpack!" Tyler said.

"Speaking of, Ty, you have some of our computer stuff stored away with Gus?" Danny asked. "We could kind of use it?"

"Gotcha! I can pick it up late Friday when I grab the cake." Tyler said quietly as Luke pulled on Tyler's arm dragging him up the stairs. Tyler pulled his laptop out of his backpack while Luke regaled Linda and Kathy about PBLOCO and their gourmet peanut butter.

When they reached the third floor Tyler asked, "So what do you think of your room?"

"My room? Not likely... I'm sleeping with you and Derek when I stay over!" Luke said taking the laptop from Tyler's hand.

"I was afraid you would say that...," Tyler moaned.

"What's your frick'n password?" Luke demanded.

"Watch that mouth, Luke!" Tyler chastised! Casey came into the room and Tyler put his arm around Casey's shoulder.

"Don't mess with me I'm a man on a mission!" Luke yelled.

"How about 'boy with an obsession'?" Casey suggested.

"Nut without a shell?" Tyler tossed in to the conversation.

"Password before I put you over my knee and bitch-slap you both!" Luke warned.

"GITON!" Tyler said.

"Hahahaha...," Luke laughed.

"You don't even know what that means!" Tyler said.

"Whatever, nymph boy!" Luke said as he typed away.

"Shit! He does know?" Tyler said to Casey who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Be off... I'm done with you for now!" Luke said waving Tyler and Casey away.

Tyler lifted Casey up into his arms. "C'mon... let's go have hot passionate sex!" Tyler said as they walked out of the room.

"Touch my Casey, and you'll be able to park a truck up your ass!" Luke yelled.

"Geez... he sounds like Danny and cinnamon buns!" Tyler joked.

"I... heard... that...," Echoed upstairs from the basement.

"So how are you doing, Casey?" Tyler asked as he flipped him down on one of the beds in the spare room on the third floor.

"I'm great except for missing you guys." Casey said smiling.

"I love you Casey!" Tyler said and gave him a kiss.

"Thanks Ty, I love you too. I'll never forget that if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here today," Casey said and he kissed Tyler back.

"Oh? So you're not angry with me for bringing Luke into you life?" Tyler said winking.

"Don't make me come in there, bitches!!" Luke yelled from the back half of the third floor. Tyler rolled his eyes and Casey covered his mouth as he laughed.

"Lucas??" Linda yelled upstairs.

"Ah... it's so good to be home! How are things with Megan?" Tyler asked.

Casey put one finger to his mouth and crawled off the bed. He crept over to the bedroom door and closed it quietly. He then ran back and jumped on to the bed landing in Tyler's open arms.

"On Monday... Megan didn't speak to Luke or the other way around. However she did start hitting on me!" Casey whispered and Tyler stared at him confused.

"I don't think I understand?" Tyler asked.

Casey cupped his hands over Tyler's ear and whispered, "She saw how big my cock was!"

"What?" Tyler said out loud laughing.

"Shhhhsh!" Casey said holding one finger to his mouth again. "She came into the bedroom when I was only wearing underwear. She commented to me in private that she liked what she saw!" Casey whispered and giggled.

"Well Casey... I was about your size when I was your age...," Tyler said grinning.

"Really? You mean I might grow up to have one as big as yours?" Casey asked wide-eyed.

"Casey, size only counts in the locker room!" Tyler said giving him a hug. "So I take it that Luke doesn't know about this?"

"Nope, and I'm not gonna tell him either!" Casey said seriously.

"Probably wise not to!" Tyler said.

"I NEED A CREDIT CARD!" Luke yelled.

"Be right back, Casey!" Tyler said as he got off the bed.

As Tyler opened the bedroom door he heard Linda yell upstairs, "Don't even think about it Tyler!!!!!!"

Tyler closed the door again and returned to the bed. "I'm backkkkkkkk!" He said and Casey laughed.

"I'm happy for you that Luke is now starting to realize how lucky he is to have you in his life!" Tyler added.

"Me too! He's like a whole new person," Casey said.

"Do you think Luke and Megan will ever be friends?" Tyler asked.

"I'm not really sure! They stare at each other all the time when the other one isn't looking but it's mostly the look of wanting to kill each other!" Casey said laughing.

"Are you going to be alright if they ever do start dating?" Tyler asked.

"That probably will never happen! One of Megan's friends lives across the street from her. A bunch of them were spying on her and Luke and when Luke heard about it at school he put one and one together and realized that she knew about it all the time. I guess she wanted to put on a big show for her friends!" Casey said giggling.

"Is Luke still angry?" Tyler asked.

"Sort of... they're still the talk of the class right now. I suggested that we invite her to have lunch so that we could put an end to all of this but Luke killed that idea," Casey said.

"From what Derek and Dad told me about it I sort of feel sorry for her," Tyler said.

"Huh? Why?" Casey asked with a strange look on his face.

"She comes from a home like you did," Tyler said, and Casey blinked his eyes a couple of times.

"Maybe you could talk to Luke?" Casey asked.

"Maybe you could talk to Luke!" Tyler suggested.

"Why me? He listens to you," Casey said.

"I think it needs to come from his best friend Casey. If he still doesn't want to then just leave it but at least you will have tried. I think Megan might benefit from having Luke as a friend and I know for a fact that she would be better off with a friend like you!" Tyler said as he bent down and kissed Casey's cheek.

"Hmmm...," Casey mumbled as he considered the idea.

"Knowing what you do about Megan don't you feel a little sorry for her?" Tyler asked.

"I guess... she can be pretty mean in class!" Casey said.

"Maybe she's lonely?" Tyler suggested.

"She has a lot of girls hang around her!" Casey argued.

"That doesn't mean she has any real friends? Luke has lots of people hang around him but he only has one real best friend!" Tyler said and smiled.

"How do you think I should do it?" Casey asked.

"That really isn't for me to say...," Tyler said, trying to avoid any obvious involvement.

"Then how am I going to learn how to bring two people together or make enemies become friends if you don't help me?" Casey asked and then grinned.

"I hate you!" Tyler teased.

"No you don't!" Casey shot back and laughed.

"I would plant the idea with Luke first and if nothing develops I would secretly invite Megan to join the two of you at lunch. Warn her carefully that if she says a word to any of her friends about it then she can forget the invitation," Tyler said.

"Luke would kill me or worse!" Casey said wide-eyed.

"Worse?" Tyler asked laughing.

"He'd let me live and torture me until I died," Casey said seriously, and Tyler burst out laughing.

"Hang on a second Casey! When she sits down Luke will likely say something like 'what are you doing here' and you say 'I invited Megan so shut up and listen.' You tell them that they are both being assholes and that the only winner is everyone who gossips about them. You tell Luke to chill out and you tell Megan that if she wants to be friends with you guys then she needs to be herself and stop acting like she's better than the rest. Then you tell them that you like them both and want all three to be friends!" Tyler said.

"And if this all blows up in my face?" Casey asked.

"Blame, Derek!" Tyler said and winked. Casey fell sideways on the bed as he laughed.

"All you can do is try and whether they agree or not everyone will know that you tried to make peace," Tyler said.

"Is this what they mean when they talk about the Tyler effect?" Casey asked.

"No, the Tyler effect is the same thing that happens to Luke when he is in bed with you!" Tyler said and Casey hugged him.

"Do you think that I will be as big as you when I am your age?" Casey asked.

"I'm 6' 4" so I doubt it! Most people are not as tall as me." Tyler said.

"That wasn't what I meant!" Casey said with an ear-to-ear grin.

"Aren't you supposed to have these conversations with Cody?" Tyler asked.

"Stop avoiding my questions." Casey said punching Tyler's left arm.

"Seriously and honestly Casey, it really doesn't matter? What's in your eyes and heart count for more. When you look someone straight in the eye and say 'I love you' that will mean much more than how big your equipment is," Tyler said.

"That's a load of crap and you know it!" Casey joked.

"You have a great smile, good personality, killer eyes, and a heart full of love, Casey! Having a big dick might get you a little more sex but it doesn't find you love," Tyler said.

Luke flung the door open and tossed Tyler's wallet to him.

"How did you get... you didn't?" Tyler asked. Luke grinned.

"Of course not but it was worth lifting your wallet just to see the look on your face!" Luke said beaming with pride. Tyler jumped up and grabbed Luke throwing him down on the bed. Casey and Tyler began tickling Luke. Cody and Danny appeared in the doorway and jumped in to attack Luke.

"I thought you guys were in your bedroom?" Danny said to Tyler.

"Nope, we've been here all along!" Tyler said. "Shit!!" Tyler yelled to no one in particular.

"What's up?" Cody asked.

"Ahh... nothing. You guys stay here and I will be right back." Tyler said hopping off the bed and running downstairs. When he reached the second floor he saw that his bedroom door was closed. Tyler tapped on the door lightly and heard no response. Trying the door handle he found that it was unlocked.

"Guys?" Tyler said through the door as quietly as he could but still no response. The opening of the bedroom door obviously hadn't stirred Chris and Kyle who were butt naked and actively sixty-nining each other. Tyler stared and then grinned.

"Ahem!" Tyler said and they both screamed. Tyler stared at them as he closed the door behind him.

"Shit! I almost bit Chris's cock off! Don't ever do that again!" Kyle yelled. Tyler shook his head.

"I really hate to interrupt the two of you but you are in MY bedroom with the door unlocked!" Tyler said.

"We were just waiting for you to show up and join us?" Chris said with a big grin.

"Did Derek give you permission to be in here having sex?" Tyler asked.

"We didn't think we needed permission," Chris said.

"You said this is our home too!" Kyle shot back.

"You said you locked the door!" Chris said to Kyle.

"No, you said you locked the door!" Kyle replied.

"This is your home but not your house and this is Derek's and my bedroom!" Tyler said.

"Chris, wipe the precum and grin off of your face, please? One not-so-little-smart-ass-dude in my life is enough!" Tyler said.

"Sorry," Chris apologized.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but this isn't the time or the place for this, especially with the bedroom door unlocked and Luke and Casey running around the house! You guys should know better!" Tyler said.

"That's the problem Ty!" Kyle whined, "We haven't had time yet for... you know?"

"You're preachin' to the choir not-so-little-dude." Tyler said as he leaned against the door. Get your clothes on and then get back downstairs," he added, turning towards the door.

"Ummm... could you like, get naked and give us some inspiration and we'll be done even faster?" Chris asked grinning.

"No!" Tyler said firmly. "Next time please let me or Derek know beforehand so that we can cover your absence... and clean up in here before you leave!" he added turning back to the door.

"Never spilt a drop yet." Kyle said grinning. Tyler turned to look back at Kyle and Kyle pushed Chris back down on the bed and ran his tongue around Chris' erection while grinning at Tyler.

Tyler opened the door and said, "No Mom, they're right in here," Kyle and Chris leapt off the bed searching for their clothes until Chris spotted Tyler standing at the door grinning.

"You evil fucktard!" Chris said and started to laugh but Kyle glared at Tyler with anger, as he saw nothing funny about Tyler's joke.

"That wasn't funny Ty! You are so mean! I fucking hate you now!!!" Kyle stammered.

"I told you both that playtime was over. Next time ask before the two of you assume you can just go off and have sex without locking the door when Luke and Casey are in the house," Tyler said firmly and turned to close the door behind him.

"Don't worry about us having to ask because this will be the last fucking time I come into YOUR house," Kyle said angrily and Chris stared at Kyle.

"Kyle??" Chris said and Kyle turned to Chris and shot him an equally nasty look. Chris shook his head.

"I don't fucking care? We didn't do anything wrong! He just wants to order us around and be in control all of the time," Kyle said to Chris and Chris just lowered his head in embarrassment.

"I guess we know our place around here... just remember your place when you're at MY house!" Kyle said to Tyler as he pointed at his own chest.

Tyler nodded his acknowledgement. "I certainly know now," Tyler said closing his bedroom door.

Tyler went downstairs and saw Linda and Kathy chatting at the dining room table and Larry sound asleep. Tyler refilled their coffees and then brought two more downstairs for Derek and himself.

"Hey!" Tyler said.

"Hey yourself." Derek said with Abbey asleep halfway across his lap. Abbey looked up at Tyler and wagged her tail.

"Why are you down here alone?" Tyler asked.

"I just thought you might like a little time alone with your brothers...," Derek said.

"Not at all. I like time with you and my brothers. I had a talk with Casey about Luke and Megan," Tyler said, as he handed Derek his coffee and sat down at the other end of Abbey.

Abbey jumped down from the sofa and headed upstairs. Echo and Chaos followed. Tyler slid over next to Derek. Reaching across Derek to set his coffee down on an end table, he then took Derek's coffee from his hand and set it next to his.

Tyler turned Derek's face towards his with two fingers and leaned in and kissed him.

"What's that for?" Derek asked.

"You have to ask why I want to kiss you?" Tyler said smiling. "It's because I love you number one and number two for doing all of this for me."

"I have a confession to make..." Derek said. "It was Luke's idea!"

"You mean Luke insisted?" Tyler asked laughing.

"Pretty much...," Derek added with a grin.

"It still wouldn't have happened without you. I would have nothing if it weren't for you. I would be nothing without you," Tyler said, and started kissing Derek.

"Now you have a family," Derek said and Tyler paused wondering what exactly he meant by that.

"Derek?" Tyler said. "If I never see any member of our family or friends again it really won't matter as long as I have you. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't be sad or upset, but you are the single most important part of my life. Not Luke or Kyle or Danny or Cody... you!" Derek gave a half smile.

"Let's not talk about this right now," Derek said as he looked up at the ceiling. "You said you talked to Casey. How is he doing?" Derek asked.

"I talked to Casey about Luke and Megan. I wanted to know how things were between the two of them," Tyler said.

"And?" Derek asked.

"Not good, but Casey might be able to bring them back together," Tyler said.

"Back together as in a couple?" Derek asked.

"No, just as friends... maybe a couple later. Casey is now much more secure about his friendship with Luke. He knows that Luke likes girls more than guys and he knows that Luke likes him more than girls!" Tyler said.

"Huh?" Derek asked and laughed.

"Exactly! They're eleven years old. I don't think their friendship needs to be all that complicated. They love each other and are best friends!" Tyler added.

"I'm surprised they haven't killed each other yet," Derek said grinning.

*Bang, bang... bang, bang, bang* Luke yelled as he came downstairs into the family room holding an open stapler like gun and firing it up the stairs.

"I think you spoke too soon!" Tyler said as Luke dove on to the other leather sofa and pretended to reload his gun. Everyone heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and then stop half way.

Luke dove on to the floor and ran around the end table. He panted as he held his gun up next to his face. He held one finger up to his mouth indicating that he didn't want Derek and Tyler to give away his location.

Casey appeared at the entrance to the family room still on the second step up. He remained tight against the wall with his loaded gun leading the way.

"That reminds me Derek..., Carl called and asked if we had found his caulking gun!" Tyler said and Derek grinned. Casey held a finger up to his mouth not wanting Tyler and Derek to give his position away.

"Don't tell Casey where I am!" Luke whispered. Derek and Tyler looked at each other and then straight ahead at Casey on the stairs. Derek and Tyler pointed directly at Luke and then started laughing.

Casey dove out on to the floor firing! "Bam, bam, bam!" Casey yelled as he slid across the hardwood floor and ducked behind one of the accent chairs.

"Can you explain to me how they talk sex, love, and sperm one minute and then play with fake guns?" Derek asked Tyler. Luke flipped Derek the bird.

"Derek... they're eleven years old! It's completely normal for an eleven year old to do this sort of thing!" Tyler said with his arms crossed.

"That stapler had better not be loaded in this house with three dogs running around!" Derek said very seriously to Luke.

"He's holding it upside down like a gun dumbass!" Tyler said laughing.

*Thump, thump, thump*, down the stairs.

"Bang! Bang!" Danny yelled as he fired his glue gun.

Derek snorted.

"Don't tell them where I am!" Danny mouthed to Derek and Tyler.

Derek and Tyler pointed to Danny on the stairway. They could both read Danny's lips when he mouthed 'fucktards' to them. Derek and Tyler laughed. Echo and Chaos bounced down the stairs and passed by Danny as they headed in to the family room.

"Danny! How many times have we told you not to play with a loaded glue gun inside the house????" Derek scolded.

"Never, actually!" Danny said grinning.

"Okay then... go ahead," Tyler said laughing.

All three jumped out into the open to kill their enemies "Bam, bang, bang, bam-bam-bam, bang, bam bam, bang-bang-bang...."

"You're all dead now so shut up... the lot of you!" Derek yelled.

*Ruff* Echo barked at all of them!

"You go, girlfriend!" Tyler said to Echo as he lifted Chaos up on to his lap.

"Hey!" Danny said. "We've got duct tape around here somewhere!"

"YES!!!!!!!" Luke yelled grinning as he and Casey fisted. All three boys ran up the stairs.

Derek was about to yell something but Tyler stopped him. "Don't worry... they're not strong enough to drag Danny's body very far! We'll find him by morning... weekend at the latest!" Tyler joked and Derek grinned.

"We should probably go and spend sometime with the family before they go...," Derek said.

"Try not to think of it like going to your grandparents?" Tyler teased Derek and then kissed him.

By 7:30 p.m. they were gathered at the doorway saying goodbyes.

Tyler hugged Chris and whispered, "I may not see you for awhile so take good care of yourself and Kyle?" Chris stared into Tyler's eyes.

"Seriously?" Chris asked.

"You heard your boyfriend? I guess it isn't my home after all?" Tyler said.

"He didn't really mean it, Ty," Chris said.

"Unfortunately he did Chris. When people get really angry and lose their tempers you will often hear them speak what they really feel inside," Tyler said.

Chris didn't respond but he did hug Tyler tight and then tapped Tyler's back three times. He opened his eyes to see Kyle standing outside on the sidewalk staring at him with rage in his eyes.

"Where's Danny?" Larry asked.

"He's tied up at the moment!" Luke said with a straight face.

"Lucas?" Derek said.

"Danny, in the 3rd floor bedroom closet, with the glue gun!" Luke said, grinning and then Casey fisted him.

Tyler grabbed Luke and forced him up the stairs. "We're not playing a game of CLUE here!" Tyler said.

"Like you would have a clue anyway...," Luke moaned as he was being dragged up the stairs to the third floor.

"We're just playing hide and seek," Luke said laughing. When they reached the top of the stairs Danny was in the computer room doing homework on Tyler's computer.

"Oh?" Tyler said and Danny looked over at them.

"I said goodbye, Ty." Danny said.

"You don't actually think I would really hurt Danny do you?" Luke asked with disgust.

"Yeah, I do," Tyler said and grinned.

"How perceptive of you!" Luke said grinning as they headed back downstairs from the third floor.

"C'mere!" Tyler said pulling him into his bedroom. Tyler sat down on his bed and Luke sat beside him. "I want to apologize for thinking that you would do anything to hurt Danny!"

"You don't need to apologize, Ty." Luke said leaning into Tyler. Tyler pulled Luke up and stood him in front of himself. As Tyler remained seated he pulled Luke into his arms and held him tight.

"Thank you for coming tonight. I can't even say how much this means to me," Tyler said.

"It was nothing. I know you're always here for me and I'll always be here for you." Luke said with a hint of smile forming on his lips.

"You can't imagine how much I love you, Luke," Tyler said.

"Actually I can," Luke said. "You've often said that I was the first member of this family that you said you loved. You're the first person outside of my family to say it and truly mean it." Luke leaned forward and pressed his lips against Tyler's in a way neither had ever shared or experienced before.

"LUCAS? Let's go!" Larry yelled from the front door.

When they parted and stared into each other's eyes for a moment Tyler said, "Why couldn't you be gay?"

"Why couldn't you be a girl?" Luke asked with a big smile. "1, 2, 3, Ty."

"1, 2, 3, Pookster!" Tyler said with a smile and hugged Luke again.

Kyle was already seated in the back row when Chris arrived. Casey was in the second row from the back and Kathy & Linda sat in the front row. Chris looked at his options and decided to sit in the front passenger seat next to Larry.

"Wow! I have company for the ride home!" Larry said grinning and looked behind him. "Abbey, you've got the back row with Kyle!" Abbey looked up at Larry and decided to drop down at Kathy's feet instead.

"Wise choice...," Chris said quietly as he scratched Abbey's left ear. Larry heard Chris's comment and made a mental note.

Cody, Derek, Tyler, Echo, and Chaos waved them off from the front steps.

"What's up with Kyle?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, he wouldn't even give me a hug," Cody said.

"He's mad at me so he isn't speaking to any of us I guess," Tyler said.

"What did you do?" Derek accused.

"What makes you think I did something to him?" Tyler asked.

"Sorry. Please tell me why he is mad at you then?" Derek asked.

"Chris and he snuck into our bedroom without locking the door," Tyler said.

"Well what's the big deal about... oh? That little fucker! Why didn't you tell me so I could kill him?" Derek asked punching his right fist into his left hand.

"That's why!" Tyler said and Cody snorted.

"That still doesn't explain why he is mad at you? Did you yell at him?" Derek asked.

"A little but nothing serious, I jokingly told them while they were... going at it... that mom was coming up the stairs," Tyler said grinning.

"That's really mean, Ty!" Cody said.

"It's not very nice using our bedroom without our permission with Luke and Casey in the house and not having the brains to lock the bedroom door!" Tyler said. Cody shook his head in disgust.

"Who's the adult here?" Cody asked but didn't wait for an answer.

"Don't tell me I've been banned from this family as well?" Tyler asked and Derek shook his head and walked off into the kitchen. Tyler looked down at Echo and Chaos. "Et tu, Brute?" Tyler asked. Echo and Chaos trotted off the to kitchen in case Derek was getting them some food. Tyler went downstairs and turned the fireplace off and turned out the lights. When he came back up the stairs Derek stared at him for a second and then looked away.

"Don't tell me you are mad at me about Kyle?" Tyler asked.

"Kyle's lucky I didn't catch him!" Derek said.

"Then why are you mad at me?" Tyler asked.

"Who said I'm mad at you!" Derek yelled.

"I'm going to shower and turn in." Tyler said not waiting for a response. When Tyler finished his shower and left the bathroom he could see that Cody's and Danny's bedroom door was closed. He heard the TV on in the living room and assumed that Derek was watching it. Tyler removed his towel, deposited his clothes in the hamper, put on a clean pair of boxers and crawled into bed.

Tyler woke to his book being removed from his hands.

"The Greatest Story Ever Sold? Sounds boring?" Derek said and Tyler didn't respond. Derek stripped naked and dropped his clothes on the floor all through out the room.

"You know it doesn't take much effort to just throw all your clothes in one pile!" Tyler said.

"Yes, Mom!" Derek yelled and glared at him.

"Whatever...," Tyler said.

Derek crawled into bed and turned out the light. They both lay there for a moment in silence. Tyler closed his eyes again.

"So...," Derek said, and Tyler opened his eyes but didn't respond.

"So you discussed me with Dr. Reynolds?" Derek said callously.

"I should have guessed!" Tyler said.

"Guessed what?" Derek asked.

"That this is what your mood is all about?" Tyler asked.

"What did you say and what do you mean by 'my mood'?" Derek asked defensively.

"We probably shouldn't get into this right now, Derek," Tyler said.

"I see...," Derek said and Tyler didn't respond.

<Two minutes pass>

"I guess that's the end of that then...," Derek said and rolled over away from Tyler.

<Two more minutes pass>

"Let's... uh... cancel my birthday party on Friday night," Derek said.

"What?" Tyler yelled sitting up in bed.

"Do you want me to repeat it?" Derek asked.

"NO! Your birthday party starts in 48 hours and now you want me to cancel it?" Tyler yelled back.

"Right!" Derek said.

"And you want it cancelled because?" Tyler asked.

"Because I asked you to," Derek responded.

"You're sulking because I won't tell you what I said to Dr. Reynolds about you?" Tyler yelled and Derek didn't respond.

"Fine then... I'll cancel it! Your birthday gift is hidden in the closet by the front door. Just open it whenever you feel like it or save it for your next birthday," Tyler said and rolled over facing away from Derek.

"Just return it," Derek said.

"Fine!" Tyler said shaking his head against his pillow.

Derek pulled on the comforter, which left Tyler completely uncovered.

"Could I have some of the comforter back?" Tyler asked.

"You didn't say please!" Derek said.

"May I please have some of the comforter back then?" Tyler said.

"No! Get your own." Derek said.

*TAP, TAP, TAP* on their bedroom door.

"WHAT!" Derek yelled and Danny opened the door slowly and stuck his head in.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but I can hear you both all the way upstairs," Danny said.

"Sorry." Tyler said getting up and sitting on the side of the bed. He turned his bed lamp on.

"The party on Friday is cancelled," Derek said.

"What?" Danny asked. "Why are you canceling it, Ty?"

"I'm not canceling it Danny, Derek is!" Tyler said shaking his head.

"What?" Danny yelled again.

"He's mad at me because I don't want to talk about my session with Dr. Reynolds," Tyler added.

Derek didn't say a word.

"Ty, you said that you would answer any questions that anyone had!" Danny told Tyler. Tyler stared at him emotionless.

"He's a liar," Derek said.

"Shut up, Derek!" Danny yelled. "Tyler shouldn't have made that offer in the first place and you Derek should know better than to push on someone who is going through counseling! I don't ask Cody anything about it. He tells me what he wants when he needs to talk about it. We have about 12 people coming and it is not cancelled! And stop being so fucking nosey, Derek," he said and slammed the door shut as he left the room.

Tyler got up and put his white robe on. Derek rolled over and looked at him.

"Where are you going?" Derek asked.

"I'm going to sleep upstairs in the spare room," Tyler said.

Derek sat up in bed and asked, "Why won't you tell me what you said?"

Tyler turned at the door and looked back at Derek. "You're not ready to hear it and I'm afraid to tell you," Tyler said as he played with Derek's earring hanging on his gold chain.

"I guess that's the amount of trust that you have in us then?" Derek said as he lay back down on the bed and pulled the comforter up over his head.

"You're just not ready to hear it. You'll only get angry because you won't understand it," Tyler said.

Derek flipped the comforter back over to the other side of the bed and said, "How will we ever know then?"

"Dr. Reynolds asked me to name someone who really loved me and I said Luke and Kyle. He wanted to know why I didn't say you first. I told Dr. Reynolds that I knew you were the guy for me for the rest of my life but I wasn't sure that you felt the same way about me," Tyler said as Derek stared down at the floor.

"I said that I didn't think you had reached that point in your life where you wanted to make a life time commitment," Tyler added.

"So you think I'm not as mature as you?" Derek asked glaring at him. Tyler grinned.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Derek," Tyler said.

"Obviously that is the case by your grin and you're already putting words in Dr. Reynolds' ear about me," Derek said coldly.

"That part is true but that doesn't mean you are immature? You're just not at the same level of maturity that I am. I already know that you are the guy for me but I don't think you can honestly say that yet?" Tyler said.

"How can you even say that?" Derek yelled at Tyler.

"It's not an insult Derek. It's simply my opinion. This is all new to you. Having feelings for guys, making a commitment, moving in together... you've said so yourself. It's a big step for both of us and I'm not sure that it is what you really want... or me for that matter." Tyler said as he leaned against the door.

"Maybe you're right?" Derek said with anger as he turned away from the floor and looked up at Tyler.

"Maybe I am but only you can answer that question. All that really matters is that you be honest with yourself. I'm going to sleep upstairs in the spare room. If you decide that it would make you feel better then I will move my things out of this room?" Tyler said.

"Fine then... just get the fuck out of here!" Derek yelled.

"That's twice tonight that an Anderson has said that to me," Tyler said and then left the room, closing the door behind him.

Tyler turned towards the stairs to see Danny sitting there with his head in his hands and tears flowing down his cheeks. They stared in silence at each other and then Tyler silently walked around Danny and climbed the stairs to the third floor. Danny got up and turned to follow but when he heard the bedroom door shut he went back to his room.

To be continued...

Many thanks for fellow Roadie, Mark Wessler (the Audi TT dude!) for the link and suggestion of PBLOCO.com!

tylerpeel@tickiestories.us

Posted: 01/29/09