Coach Assistant
By:
Tim
(© 2015 by the author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's
consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Chapter 27
While Randy had joined us at the table, I kept on looking at Brian and Francis. They kept on talking in a low voice, I noticed. It was very difficult for me not to want to join them and hear what was going on. I kept only a half ear on the conversation between Randy and Andy and I knew that wasn’t a very nice thing to do, not to listen to what they were talking about.
Let’s just say, I was nervous. I knew I could trust Francis but, still, you never know what can happen.
In the meantime, the following conversation took place between Brian and Francis, as told by Francis:
“Thanks for coming, Francis. I wasn’t sure after yesterday that you would show up.”
“I wasn’t sure myself, Brian, not even when I got here, but seeing you … well, it’s just something that I didn’t expect and I wasn’t ready for.”
“I know … maybe I should have called you up front, but I …. Well, I think that, whatever I would have done, you would have been shocked to see me.”
“I think so. You can never be totally prepared for something like this. So you saw me compete yesterday?”
“Yes, I read in the paper that the college you were going to was in the state finals, and I just wanted to see if you were still competing.”
“I never could stop that, whatever happened, Brian.”
“I’m glad you didn’t; you were always good at it.”
I smiled at him and somehow, I got lost again in his eyes. This couldn’t be happening … I loved Nick. This was impossible.
“Your boyfriend was pretty amazing too, Francis. I think you can be pretty proud of him.”
That sentence brought me right back to earth. Brian wasn’t here to sweep me off my feet like he did a few years earlier. He was just here to talk.
“Oh, yes, I am proud of him! You know that yesterday was only his second competition and that he hasn’t been doing gymnastics for longer then a year?”
“Wow! He must be a super talent to be able to do that!”
“Well, he is just terrific, you know. If you knew what he’s been through lately, you’d be amazed that he could perform as he did. He is so lovely, so caring, incredible … I’m a lucky guy because he fell in love with me.”
“I can see that, and we both know that love is just wonderful to have around!”
“Hmmm, you love Andy?”
“Oh yes, with all my heart, Francis. He’s so incredible … not the star you would think he was with all the media around him. Just a down to earth kind of guy.”
We talked for quite a while about both our boyfriends. We began to get comfortable with each other again, some of that old easy way we had with each other came back. But there was no fire any more. We were just two guys who knew each other from the past.
“Hmmmm, at least you seemed to have fallen in love with him as well,” Brian said at some point.
“Oh, yea, I’ve fallen hard, as if you couldn’t tell. But then, he and his family has been so supportive after I was thrown out of my house.”
“No, not your parents again! I’m sorry to hear that, Francis. You deserved so much better then those two!”
“I think we’d better stop beating around the bush now, Brian. What happened back then? Why did you never contact me or even answered the phone when I called you? You must have known that it was me?”
“Yes, I guess you deserve some answers, Francis. But you must remember that … no, I’m not going to try to defend myself … I know I was wrong and I’m sorry for all that happened.”
“Can you tell me why you didn’t contact me?”
“Are you sure, Francis, you really want to hear this?”
“Yes, Brian. I need to know so I can close that chapter in my life and go on with Nick.”
“OK, well after you ….”
“Tried to commit suicide, Brian … you can say … I don’t have a problem with it.”
Brian sighed, then he continued.
“You know, when I heard about it, I just wanted to run straight to you … but I read it in the newspaper …and I started to cry. My mom was just coming back into the kitchen. When she saw what I was reading, she comforted me and told me to go and visit you that afternoon in the hospital.”
“So, you did come … but???”
“Let me finish, Francis. I know you’ll have lots of questions but, please, let me finish first.”
“She even drove me to the hospital. I went in alone and she said she would pick me up in an hour. So, when I entered, I asked where you were and they told me … so I went up to the floor. But I had to give my name and ask permission to enter at that point before I could see you. When I told the nurse my name, she went away and came back with your mother. The moment she saw me, she turned away and I heard here say to the nurse, ‘NO’.”
“Oh my god, why?”
“I have no idea, but I couldn’t go away. So I stayed there for almost 40 minutes. Then she came back. She just looked at me and walked past me. I called her but she just kept on, as if I wasn’t there. Finally, my mom came and got me. She … well, let’s say, she left her number with the nurse so she could give it to you … but it seems that never happened because there was no phone call.”
“But I asked the doctor to contact you! Did he lie to me?”
“Oh, no, Francis! He did contact me or, at least, my mom spoke with him but that all took place after we had a visit from your father.”
“What????”
“Yes, on the fourth or fifth day, while you were in the hospital, and after several phone calls to the hospital from me, he came by. He told me to stop contacting you. He told me they were going to move away and, if I ever tried to contact you, he would make sure that we were sued and that my father would lose his job.”
“Damn! But .…”
“No, let me go on. It seems your father knew exactly what my dad did and who his business associates were. My mom and dad talked at length with me. They explained that your old man was just the kind of person to make our life hell and the fact that you were going to move didn’t make it worth the risk, just for one visit because … well …. They never expected us to see each other any more any way, so why go to all the trouble?”
During the last part of this, Brian had started to cry and I started to get more and more angry at my parents.
“I almost did call you back when I got your phone call. I think I stood there for at least an hour with the phone in my hands before mom came and helped me get past the urge,” Brian finished, still sobbing.
Somehow I had started to go along with him and tears were falling down my cheeks as well.
“So, now you know, Francis. I was just a coward, you know. I should have come but I just couldn’t.”
“Don’t worry. Brian. I see now what happened … and it was perhaps the first time I got screwed by my parents … but it wasn’t the last time.”
“So, you don’t see them at all any more?”
“No, I was kicked out of the house the moment they got the idea I had started to see guys again. It was … well … as if I didn’t even exist.”
“Well, at least you’ve found Nick! I’m glad for you, Francis. You know, you’re a great guy who deserves a special person.”
I smiled at him. “I know how lucky I am, Brian, and you’re lucky to find someone like Andy.”
“Do you think you can ever forgive me, Francis? I’d like to stay friends with you and Nick.”
“I think after this, I can. I’ll need time to let it sink in but, yes, I think I can.”
“So, how did you meet Nick?” he asked.
We continued to chat, to renew our friendship. We talked about Nick and Andy for quite a while.
I knew I’d better start listening to what they were saying. How else could I answer a question if they asked me one? I looked at Brian and Francis. They were even closer now. I even saw some tears on Brian’s face. Hmmmm, they seemed to have reached the hard stuff.
I looked back at Andy and Randy again.
“Are you listening at all to what we’re saying, Nick?”
“I’m sorry, Andy, but I just can’t sit here, relaxed like you, as things are going on over there.”
Andy now looked at Brian and Francis and saw that Brian was crying. “Just relax, Nick. They’re just getting the past out of the way. They’re dealing with some of the things that need to be taken care of before we can be friends. So tell me, Nick, how did you get to know Francis and Alexei?”
Well, that was one way of pulling me back into the conversation! So first I told them about meeting Francis, not all of it, but at least some of it. Then Andy told us all about him meeting Brian, so when we were finished, we both looked at Randy and asked him the same question almost at the same time.
“So, tell us, Randy … who is the lucky guy in your life?”
“Well, to be honest, he is in town here. That is why I am visiting, but he bailed out on me yesterday and today again for lunch. I’d hoped he’d want to go with me this afternoon but somehow he didn’t feel like it.”
“Hmmmm, that sounds like a bit of a grumpy guy.”
“Oh, no, he’s wonderful and ….”
While Randy continued to tell us about the love of his life, I turned again towards Brian and Francis, wondering what was happening. I saw they were more at ease with being together now. I saw Francis had been crying as well. Good thing I missed that, I thought, or I would have walked out on them if I’d seen it.
For a while I heard Randy talking in the background, but I was lost in my own thoughts, looking at Francis. I came back to reality when Andy pushed my elbow and whispered, “Earth to Nick!”
I turned my face and I just heard Andy say the following, “He is so great! He’s a doctor, you know. Maybe you know him? He’s also the doctor for some sporting teams. I though he’d like to meet you and Alexei last night. It was the first time we were all in the same place, you know. I’ve known Alexei now for two years but somehow he always seems to be out of the city when Alexei is around.”
“Well, as long as you’re happy, Randy, that’s all that counts,” Andy replied.
“Oh, yes, I am,” Randy answered with that glow of lustful love in his eyes.
“Are you ready to order yet, sirs? You’ve been here for almost 45 minutes now without ordering.” A waiter had come up to our table at last. He had been looking at us but he’d decided not to approach us. I think he knew who were sitting at the table, as he looked kind of nervously at Andy and Randy. He had directed his question towards me.
“Yes, we’re all here now, just give us one second, OK?”
“Fine, I’ll be right back,” he said and turned away.
“I’ll bring those two from outside so we can eat. I’m starting to get hungry.”
I walked away from them just as Randy was getting a picture out of his wallet. Such a typical straight thing to do, I thought. When I came out onto the terrace, I walked towards Brian and Francis. I just sat down beside Francis and put my arm around him.
“Are you two ready? I’m starting to get hungry and the waiter is impatient.”
“Hmmm, I can see what you mean, when you said he can be a handful sometimes, Francis,” Brian said with a smile as he looked at the two of us.
“Oh, but I can handle him! I have the perfect method to take his mind off his stomach.” Before I knew it, I felt Francis’s lips on mine and he started to give me a passionate kiss right there.
“OK, I get the point, Francis! You don’t need to convince me. Let’s get inside and see what the menu has to offer.”
The moment Francis let me go, I turned towards Brian and said, “It’s good you know him so well, because then you’ll know that whatever he told you about me is a lie. If you want the truth, we’d better talk later after lunch. I’m sure there are a few things you can tell me about him that I don’t know.”
“Oh, no you don’t! Lets get lunch,” and Francis pushed me back into the café laughing, quite happy I thought. Whatever had been said outside, it seemed that everything was good now.
Well, with five guys there, you’d have to say that we had a swell time that afternoon. We stayed on in the café long after our lunch was finished. Somehow James found out where we were … I’d totally forgotten to call him that morning to tell him where we were meeting but, happily, he found the place just before lunch was served. I hated the fact that I’d told my dad that we’d be home for dinner, but I couldn’t do anything about that. We exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses so that we could stay in contact with each other.
It seemed like a happy bunch. I really liked Brian and Randy. We had quite a bit of fun, getting on the nerves of Francis and Andy several times. Eventually, though, all good things come to an end. We agreed that we would call Andy and Brian soon to go out some time but Randy was leaving town for a few obligations and would not be back for at least 14 days. His boyfriend was still here so he would be back by then.
So we said goodbye and started to walk back to our house.
“Do you mind if I walk with you for a while, Nick and Francis? I can get a bus near your place to get home.”
“No, that’s fine, James,” we said at the same time.
“Hmmm, it’s a good thing you don’t look alike, otherwise you’d think you were twins,” James said with a laugh.
“Do you think so, James?” Francis asked.
“Well, the way you two are connected to each other at the hips … yes, you could say that.”
“Hmmmm, you are just feeling lonely without Alexei here. That’s all,” Francis said.
We saw James’s face drop a mile. He had been smiling most of the time that afternoon but for some reason, he’d gotten more silent towards the end.
“I’m sorry. That was the wrong thing to say,” Francis said quickly.
“No, you’re right. I knew from the beginning that he could only be with me from time to time. We talk a lot over the phone, but I would love just to be able for him to be around like this afternoon.”
Francis and I had moved to either side of James and we each put an arm around him.
“Don’t worry. He loves you and he’ll be back as soon as he can.”
“I know and I’ll probably get a phone call from him tonight. But, still, it isn’t easy.”
“Well, whenever you feel like it, just come around to see us,” I said.
“You mean that, Nick?”
“Yes, of course I mean it! Why shouldn’t I?”
“I though you wouldn’t be comfortable with what happened in the past and with Mike.”
“Wow,” I thought. “Don’t go there, James!” I looked at Francis’s face and I realized that this was one of the things he didn’t know about. I hadn’t told him, I guess.
“Later, honey, I’ll tell you later,” I said loud enough for James to hear as well.
“That was not your fault, James. Just remember that.”
“OK, then I might just take you up on that offer and come by from time to time.”
“You do that, James. You’re a great guy to be around,” Francis answered this time.
“You’re great guys! Thanks.”
He hadn’t yet hugged us but he was close. We walked up to the bus stop only 50 meters from my house.
“OK, the bus will be here in about ten minutes, so you guys go home. I’ll wait here.”
“You call us, OK?”
“I will! Bye,” he said as we started to walk further.
“What was that all about, Nick?”
“I knew you were going to ask that, Francis. Maybe we can talk about it after dinner. I think we’re already arriving late.”
“OK, but I want to know, you know.”
“As I said, I thought you would, just like I would like to know what Brian told you.”
“Wow,” I thought. That came out totally the wrong way but it was said and I couldn’t take it back. I saw him look at me but by then, we’d arrived in front of the kitchen window and we were waved at to enter.
“Hey, you guys, just in time! Dad decided we would have a barbeque because the weather is so fine.”
“Great!” I thought. What a way to interrupt us! Even though it was what Francis wanted the most at that moment, I knew there’d be no time available to talk in private with Francis.
Despite my last words that seemed to hang over us, we had a good time with the others. I saw dad look at us several times as if he’d noticed that we were not in our normal mood. I wasn’t sure that I could take things not being resolved for much longer. I tried to get away as soon as we politely could.
“Do you mind if we go up to my room now, dad?” I asked him.
“Well, if you want to, but you’re welcome to stay as well.”
“Hmmmm, no. I think it’d be better if I go and lay down for a while. Will you join me, Francis?”
“If you want me to, Nick.”
I looked at him, not sure what to say. I must have hurt him with that last sentence more than I thought.
“Why don’t you go ahead, Francis? I want to say something to Nick before he leaves.”
“OK, see you in a moment, Nick?”
“Yes, honey, go on up. I’ll be there in a second.”
He left as David said, “You want to talk with Nick in private, dad?”
“No, David, that’s not necessary. It’s nothing important. I was just worried. Whatever happened this afternoon, Nick, fix it. I’d rather have you jumping over each other all the time than the way you were during dinner.”
David and Kathy started to laugh a little when they saw the surprise on my face.
“Was it so obvious, then?”
“Oh, yes it was, Nick. Now get up there and fix it,” Kathy said.
I knew she probably was right. So I quickly walked to my room. I opened the door and found Francis sitting on my bed.
“Do you really think, Nick, that I wouldn’t have told you what I talked about with Brian?”
Well, he wanted to get right to the point.
“I know, Francis. I’m sorry. Those words were uncalled for. I’m sorry, hon.”
“I always tell you everything. I thought you knew that. I thought you said you trusted me.”
“I do … but, then, do you trust me, Francis? Whatever happened between James and me was before the thing with Mike ended. Mike somehow got us together for one of his tasks by the doctors. I’m sorry if I never told you about it”.
So now I’d put him back where he belonged, getting mad at me for nothing.
“This is not going as I wanted it to, Nick. We had a good afternoon and now look at us! Here we are, arguing about things happened in the past!”
“I know Francis but …. You know, I never felt like I felt this afternoon before. I saw you’d been crying and at the same time I couldn’t come to you and help you. I was worried Brian had said something to hurt you. Then later, I knew that wasn’t the case because I could tell the way you reacted when I came to get you for lunch that everything was all right but still…. I’m sorry, I can’t help it but I feel jealous.”
“I guess we both have felt that way for the first time, Nick. Because I must admit, I felt the same when James made his point … jealous … and I was afraid you were holding back on me. I’m not proud of those feelings but I guess we just need to learn to deal with them.”
“I guess you’re right, Francis. So, may I ask how your talk with Brian went?”
“Oh yes, as I suspected, those terrible parents of mine!”
Francis then told me what Brian had told him.
“But most of the time, I guess, we spent learning what we’ve been doing since then. He told me how he met Andy and I told him all about you.”
“I hope not all!” I said softly.
“Oh no, not all. Only how cute you are and ….”
“OK, enough is enough,” I said.
I had put my arm around him and now we started to kiss … soft kisses first getting more and more intense.
“Oh my god, I love you, Nick! I’ve wanted to do this for so long! All day I just wanted to touch you, to feel your smooth skin, to let my hands slide through your beautiful hair, to ….”
I smothered him with more kisses and I felt myself get aroused even more by the things that he said, then by the kisses … incredible, but true.
He started slowly to get the buttons of my shirt open. But I stopped him.
“I would like to shower. Do you want to join me?”
“Are you sure, Nick? You know I would love to.”
“Yes, you’re right. I want to feel your hands roaming all over my body as much as you want to use them,” I said with a laugh.
“Let’s go, then,” he said as he pushed me towards the door.
We walked to the bathroom. After we closed the door, we started to kiss each other again and slowly Francis brought his hands lower and lower, first touching my shoulders then going down towards my back. He stopped when he reached my trousers and, instead of going on, he started to pull my shirt out of them. Then he went up again underneath my shirt, feeling my skin this time.
I started to shiver a little bit from feeling his hands on my back but this was Francis, the guy I love. The guy I ... oh, I loved him so much, I thought.
In the meantime we were still kissing and my hands were resting on his back, too. As we stepped back a bit, I started to let my hands go through his hair … that soft, incredible looking hair! It was wonderful to be able to do that again.
Then, without warning, I dropped my hands to his chest and I started to pinch and flick his nipples a bit through the material of his shirt.
“Let me get this off,” he said.
“Oh no, that’s my job,” I answered.
I slowly started to unbutton his shirt and, when I reached the last one, I just pushed my chest forward pulling my shirt aside. Our nipples came together then, touching, feeling. I felt a new shiver, but this time it wasn’t my body that got one but it was Francis’s.
Now he took the initiative again and he started to take my shirt off, in the meantime using his hands to feel my body, my chest and at last letting them come to rest at my nipples. He started to play with them, first softly but then more and more roughly.
I let out a moan and he looked into my eyes and said, “you like that, don’t you?”
I started to breathe hard and didn’t answer him … but another moan, I think, was all that he needed to hear. He continued to play with one nipple while his other hand went to the back of my trousers again, slow invading the space between my skin and the waistband.
More and more he started to rub my ass and more moans left my lips.
“You’re getting hard, aren’t you, Nick?”
“I’m sure you don’t have to ask that, Francis,” I said between gasps.
“No, you’re right. I feel it against my leg.”
“Well, you’d better be careful what you do then.”
“Hmmmm, I know! I remember how easy you are!”
“Wow! Look who’s talking! Let me go, Francis.”
Francis let me go and I started to remove his shirt this time. I felt more of his body and then I leaned over towards his nipples. I started to suck on one slowly at first but then more heavily. I got it in between my lips and I started to pull on it.
“Wow! Be careful!” Francis whispered.
But I could feel them get very hard, so I knew he liked it. I went down towards his belly button, just licking my way. I loved the smell of his sweat and the salty taste of his skin. I went further down, lowering myself to my knees. I looked at his pants and laughed a little. I was hard, but there was something that looked like a gun in his pants.
I put my hands on his ass, pulling him towards me. With my lips, I started to touch where I thought his hard dick was. I was right straight away. Well, maybe that was the wrong word, but you know what I mean! So I started to suck on him through his pants. I could feel it getting harder and harder. I thought it was time to tease him some more, so I pulled down his zipper with one hand while with the other I stroked his bum.
I slowly opened his trousers and pulled them down. He stepped out of his pants. Then I put my hands back on his ass, again pulling him forward. Not that much pressure was needed because he lifted his hips a little bit and pushed them towards my face. He was moving his dick towards my mouth, I could see that. Just before they would have touched each other, I slowly turned my face a little to the side and I started to lick him just below his underwear. I started to go from his inner thigh back to the front and then back again.
“Oh god, Nick! I think it’s time to get into the shower.”
“Are you sure, Francis?” I said with a little laugh in my voice.
“Oh, yea, I think I need to!”
“So who was talking about being easy?”
“Well, how can I help myself when my dream man is here with me?”
“So, you dream of this?”
“Guilty,” he just said.
“Let me get rid of your trousers now, so we can step into the shower.”
Without either of us showing much patience, we got my pants off and we looked at each other. I then stepped towards the shower and put it on. I was about to slip my underwear off but, before I could do that, Francis said, “No, keep it on.”
So, dressed in our briefs, we stepped into the shower. First I shivered a little bit because of the cold but then I felt Francis closing in and he got hold of me. While the water ran over our bodies, we embraced, trying to get as much skin against each other as possible.
We stayed like that for a while, just kissing and feeling each other. Then I let him go and I looked down. I had felt his dick against me for a while now. I slowly got on my knees and I looked at it. I wanted it so much. So this time I attacked it with my lips. I felt the wet fabric against me, but this time it was mingled with the scent of his dick, the wonderful smell of his skin. I sucked the water out of it. I felt his dick start to twitch a bit, so I took it in my mouth and slowly I sucked on it … not much but just enough to feel him get even harder.
“Wait a second, Nick,” I heard him say.
He stepped back a bit until he could rest his head and upper back against the wall.
“Sorry, but I started to feel shaky and I didn’t want to fall.”
I just smiled and went back to his dick. Then suddenly I could taste something else mixed in with the fabric, water and skin scent of Francis. There it was again … hmmmm, precum. He was getting a lot of it, it seemed. I got some more before I stopped.
“Just in time, Nick!” he said. “Now it’s my turn.”
We switched places. He was right … it was good that I was standing against the wall because, the moment he touched my dick with his lips, I started to shudder. I felt him start to suck through the material just like I had been doing. But, at the same time, his hands went towards my ass and he started to push my underwear down slowly. Then he took the front of my underwear between his teeth and started to pull them down.
Then, suddenly, my dick plopped out and hit my stomach. It hurt a little bit as my foreskin was completely pulled back. I’d never gotten so hard so easily, but it had been too long since we’d done this.
He slowly pulled my underwear back over my balls, then using his hands to get them out of the way. He went back to my dick and started to lick my balls. Wow! He even got one in his mouth … incredible, that someone could do that! I moaned loudly that time. Then he slowly went to the tip of my dick, licking his way up and then going down and up again. It made me insane. I moaned even louder. Then suddenly he got one of his hands on my balls again. While he started to suck instead of lick, he took them in his hand and started to massage them … first softly but, when I continued to moan, he started to get a little bit rougher on them. That did it. I lost it completely and I felt spurts of cum flow to the top of my dick. I tried to warn him by pushing him back but he went for it this time. Instead of waiting for it to spurt out, it felt like he really tried to suck it right out of my cock.
My body jerked, and more and more spurts of cum shot out of my dick into his mouth. I felt him pressing around my balls and the base of my cock. That made my spurts slow down. I could feel that there was still more cum but it just didn’t spurt out any more. Then I felt Francis start to increase his sucking again, now literally sucking the cum out of me. Wow!!! Incredible!!! I just couldn’t keep standing up and I started to slide down into the tub.
Francis let go and when I opened my eyes I saw that he was looking at me. He then sat beside me and started to kiss me. I could taste my own cum, which only got my dick hard again. Oh, why did I love him so much?
I looked down at his crotch now and saw through his wet underwear that his dick was soft as well.
“Hmmmm, you don’t get hard looking at me any more, Francis?”
“Oh, yes, I do but as you said, I’m easy.”
I laughed a bit at him and with one hand I went for his dick. I wanted to make it hard again. I wanted to taste it.
“No, leave it, Nick. Tonight was a gift from me to you. I’m glad you’re starting to trust me again. That feels pretty good, I must say. So you don’t have to do anything. I came already and that is enough for now.”
“Are you sure, Francis? I want to do it, you know. I loved to feel your hardness in my mouth.”
“I know, but it’s not necessary … at least, not tonight, Nick. I just love you so much, sweetie.”
I went for his lips this time and kissed him softly again. And while the water run over our heads we kept on kissing.
“I’d better get my underwear off now,” Francis said, “and finish showering without it.”
He slipped his underwear over his dick and before I could touch it he turned away to get the soap.
“You want to wash my back?”
I laughed a little at him. “I’ll do more, Francis. Let me soap you up.”
Francis didn’t object, so I slowly ran the soap over his back and used my hands to rub it all over. First his back then, pulling him closer to me, I started to do his chest. I could feel his ass now against my dick and stomach. Then I went slowly up to his hair and then back again to his chest. As I rubbed the soap again, I went for his tummy and his dick, which was hard already. I soaped it up pretty well, then slowly moved down to his balls and lower, finding his ass.
I got some more soap and, when I got to his ass, I felt him shiver again. Then I slowly started to work his ass with some soap. I was startled when a real loud moan slipped out of Francis’s mouth, and I stopped for a moment.
I took that as a compliment and an approval to go ahead. So I slowly started to push in a little further. Just when my finger was half way in, I twisted it a little bit and then suddenly it slipped in completely, to my surprise. The moan that followed was even louder then the first one.
“My god, go on, Nick. This is incredible.”
Sudden flashes appeared before my eyes of that Sunday afternoon! Instead of Francis’s moans, I could hear my own screams. I couldn’t move. I was hypnotised by what I saw in front of my eyes. Was I doing this to Francis now? He was yelling. I’d better back off! But somehow I couldn’t. I wasn’t able to move my finger any more. I just left it where it was.
Francis’s body started to shake and I think he came then because he started to move a lot. Not that I was aware of it completely, but I could feel him tensing up around my finger.
I still could hear screams, then they started to diminish in volume. I heard someone yell my name.
“Nick, you can let go now. Nick, are you there, Nick?”
I looked up and saw that Francis had turned around a bit so he could look at me. As I looked up, I saw a big change in his face and with that came the worry in his voice.
“Nick, are you OK?”
“Yes, I guess so. What happened?”
“Well, could you first take your finger out of my ass? Then we can talk a little easier.”
Then suddenly I realised where my finger was. I quickly pulled it out and I looked at it in disgust.
“Did I hurt you, Francis? Oh god, I did hurt you?”
“No, Nick, you didn’t. It felt marvellous.”
“Oh my god, I did hurt you! What did I do? I did hurt you!”
In the meantime, Francis had leaned over me and started to pull me up to my feet.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Francis! Please don’t touch me! I hurt you! How could I? I love you, Francis. Oh, I am so sorry.”
I started to cry, almost out of control. I’m not sure any more what happened next. I pushed Francis away from me and I collapsed on the floor.
One of the last things I saw was the panic on Francis’s face. Then I couldn’t see because of the tears. This led me to believe that I really had hurt him.
A few minutes later, I felt my father’s hand on my shoulder. He started to talk softly to me. At first I didn’t hear him but he managed to comfort me somehow and I started to ease down on the tears.
When I was almost calm, I heard my father’s voice more clearly. Now he was talking to Francis and he sounded upset.
“What did you do to him, Francis? You know you must give him time! You know I told you so, even the shrink told you so. Why couldn’t you leave him alone? Can’t you see what you’ve done to him?”
That last part pushed me over the edge to say something. “No, dad. I hurt Francis, not the other way around. I hurt him bad.”
“What?????” my farther said confusingly.
“I hurt Francis! I’d understand if he never trusted me again.”
“What are you talking about. Nick? You can see that Francis is not hurt, not at all.”
“Oh yes, I hurt him,” I insisted. I looked up at Francis and saw a pretty concerned look on his face … but there was no pain, no hate, only concern and love.
“But I ….” Then I started to cry again. I slowly started to realise what had happened: I had gotten some flashbacks. I hadn’t hurt Francis … he’d loved it. That’s what he’d been trying to tell me. Oh what a dipstick I was! I looked up at Francis again, trying to give him a gentle smile.
“Can you leave us alone, dad, for a minute? I need to talk with Francis.”
“Are you sure, Nick?”
“Yes, I am, dad. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
He walked out, glancing at Francis with a look in his eyes that said he was not finished with him.
“I’m sorry, Francis.”
“No, don’t worry, Nick. You had some flashbacks, I understand. You started to scream first that you’d raped me or something. Then, when you started to cry more and more, I got the idea of what had happened to you.”
“I have no idea what happened, Francis, but somehow I had some flashbacks from that Sunday as my finger was in your ass and you started to moan and yell. From then on is just a total blur. I think I was in a state of shock because I cannot remember what I was doing.”
“I thought so. I tried to calm you down but that just didn’t work. I needed to get your dad to do that. Are you fine now again, Nick?”
“Just a little bit shaken by what happened. Can you tell dad that I’m OK and that we will finish the shower and then go to bed?”
“You really want to finish the shower?”
“Yes, I think that would be best. It might even calm my nerves.”
“OK, you might be right about that, but I do think that your dad would like a talk with you or me before we go to bed.”
“Tell him that has to wait until tomorrow. I can’t cope with that right now. I need more distance from what happened first.”
Francis stepped out wearing only his towel and talked with dad for a moment. I heard them have some kind of argument. We finished showering together, just helping each other where necessary but nothing more. Then we went back to my bedroom.
“I would really like you to sleep here again, Francis. I think I need you here tonight.”
“Are you sure, Nick?”
“Yes, just to end this weekend.”
He laughed at me and I knew I’d given him some reassuring that I was fine again. But still, inside, I could feel the tears and fear of what had happened.
We just lay beside each other, not talking, but I knew I had to ask one more thing before we could fall asleep.
“You liked it, Francis? You really liked it?”
He looked at me and his answer was in his eyes.
To be continued...
Posted: 12/18/15