A Second Chance I
By: Tickie
(© 2006, 2007 by the author)
Editor: Radio Rancher
Re-write Editor: Gerry Young

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 4

The holidays were great. With my man and his family’s support, I came through them with only a few short lapses into despair. The New Year was ahead, and we had places to go, and things to see. I wanted to establish some new holdings around the world, and my man was going to become more then just my consultant. I wanted us to be able to spend as much time enjoying life as we could. The last five years were, to say the least, trying. Yes, Jim and I had committed to each other last week. Exchanging rings, they were both engraved with inscriptions; mine read "To my love, James,” and his read, "To my love, Charlie.” It was just the two of us there, we didn't care what the world thought, and we were lovers forever. We did tell his parents, and they seemed happy for us; I know that Jim's mom, Helen, was happy.

I was sitting in my office, looking at some travel brochures, and thinking about something as Jim came in. He said, "You look deep in thought. What's on your mind, Hon?" He, too, appeared to be thinking about something, and had a serious look in his eyes; then he continued, saying, "You remember … we were talking about some new locations for the company, right?" smiling at me with his cute Cowboy smile.

I replied "Yes" I came back to reality from my thoughts.

Jim said, "I was thinking, that maybe we could travel through Europe, and maybe scout out some locations there, and have a vacation, too." His eyes were gleaming, and he smiled broadly at me.

"You are so cute when you get ideas. Did anyone ever tell you that?" I asked, still smiling at Jim.

Jim replied, blushing a cute pink, "Yes, you tell me all the time," then chuckled at me.

I held up the brochures, dangling them in front of Jim, and said, "Gotcha! I’ve been doing my homework, already." I love when we do that to each other; oh, yes, it's so cool. It makes me think we're really meant for each other.

Shaking his head at me, Jim said, "Like I said, great minds think alike." 'God, I love Charlie; I don't know what I would do without him. God …' he thought to himself, '… don't even think that crap ... No! … Never!'

"Is Dave coming by, today, babe?” I asked, hoping he was, but knowing that Jim and his brother were at odds with each other.

Jim answered with a question, saying, "Did he say he was? I don't remember him saying anything about that to me." He looked a bit puzzled. He was thinking, 'I hope not; he treats Charlie … well … strangely … and I don't like it. Darn! I’m gonna call him and see what he wants.'

"I think he just wants to come out and pick up the things he left at Christmas," I said, not wanting to open old wounds.

Jim said sternly, "I'm going to call him and see if we can just take his crap with us to town. Is that ok with you?" He was upset I could tell that right away, so my efforts didn't pan out so well.

I just said, "Sure, if that’s what you want." I know that Jim and his brother don't get along very well, but, oh, well, that's their problem. Mine, too, I guess. Seems Dave doesn't like me either, but that's his choice.

As Jim turned to leave, I asked, "Oh, Jim, did you get a hold of your friend, about that job?" We had talked about a personal secretary for us, as we always seemed to be together, you know, doing the important things, making reservations, booking flights, taking care of paper work; I think you get the picture.

Jim turned back looking at me and said, "Yes, and he seems interested," He was thinking, 'I know he would be good at it, he was always an organizer and a stickler about everything being in order, and he's a neat freak. He's planning on getting married soon, too, so I’m sure he could use a good job.'

As Jim started toward the door of the office again, I asked, "Ok, why don't you ask him to come out here tomorrow, so we can have a chat?” I looked at the brochures again and wondered where we should go.

I had opened a private bank account for Jim, the day of our commitment, and had Doug McKenny draw up some legal documents making the commitment as binding as possible between the two of us, with powers of attorney for each of us, which allowed us both to speak for the other in all legal matters, etc. I had Mike get several different credit cards in James’ name; of course this was all to be a big surprise for my wonderful, blue-eyed, man.

I heard the front door open and close, and someone coming down the hall to my office. It was Nancy, our housekeeper for many years. She worked every day, whenever we needed her, and had been doing so, for my folks, all along. She had always treated me as if I were her son, and now that Jim was part of my family, she treated him the same way. Yes, she knew about us, and she was ok with our relationship. She had even caught us in bed together, and had seen us running around the house, naked, a few times. She never made a fuss; sometimes I felt she just enjoyed the view.

Nancy said, "You two, oh, my, you two look like a couple of hoboes. You need to get shaved and presentable. Fix yourselves up! Oh, yes … and Charles … we're going to have prime rib for dinner, so don't be late." She was looking at the two of us, and she was thinking, 'those two were meant to be together, if every there were two guys together.'

"Ok, we won't," Jim and I replied in unison.

Jim had called and found out what his brother had wanted. After finishing their talk, he came into the office and told me, "I'm going to run into town and drop off the junk that Dave left. While I’m there I’ll have a nice visit with mom." Then Jim asked me, "Want to come, too?"

I told him, "No, not this time. I have some work to get caught up on, but can you stop by the office and pick up the stuff Mike has for us."

Jim looked at me with a frown, and said, "Ok, babe, I was hoping you could come, but I understand." Then he gave me a smile as he began to leave the office.

I yelled at Jim as he turned the corner, leaving, "Be safe and drive carefully, Hon! I’ll see you when you get home. Love ya!"

James  <><><><>

As I left the ranch, I thought back on the last week, back to our commitment. God, I loved Charlie. I couldn't be any happier. I was excited about what was to come. It had to be great things, was all I could think of.

I remembered, then, that I had to pick up the stuff at the office before seeing the folks, and I thought maybe I would just stop by and see Greg, my old high school and college buddy, for a quick chat.

I pulled into the office parking lot, and once I was inside, everybody smiled at me as I walked down the hall to Mike's office. I knocked on the door softly.

Mike said, "Come in."

I entered and said, "Hi, Mike, how's it going?"

Mike looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Alright, and how's my James today? You’re looking very cheerful."

I replied with a grin, "I’m doing fine, absolutely great. Charlie asked me to pick up some stuff you have for him." I wondered what it was; then I thought, 'With the ton of paper work that Charlie is signing every damn day, we sure do need that new secretary. I sure hope that Greg takes the job.' Charlie had told me to be sure that Greg understood that he'd be doing a lot of traveling with us. We needed them both, since we had loads of work, all the damn time.

Mike handed me two briefcases; one was brand new and the other was an older one.

Mike said with a grin, "James, that new one has everything in it that Charlie asked for; the older one has today’s work load."

I looked at the two cases. I couldn’t help but frown. I asked, with a touch of disgust in my voice, "Lots of paperwork today, I take it?"

Mike simply replied, "This job’s nothing BUT paperwork! James, I wish we could get out, now and then," He chuckled. I wondered what he was thinking about.

I smiled, and said, "Thanks, Mike, I have to be running, now. I’m going to see the folks,"

Mike, still grinning, said, "Say hi to Charlie for me, and you be safe;" he stared down at the papers he had been working on.

I left the office, thinking, 'What's in the new briefcase?' I tried to open it, but it was locked. 'That's strange,' I thought. 'What the hell? It must be something important.'

I then headed over to Greg's place. When I arrived, I saw that his car wasn't there. I went to the front door and rang the bell. There was no answer. I just figured he was out; I could catch him later. I then drove to mom's place. I grabbed Dave's junk from the trunk of the car, walked up to the door, and rang the bell. It felt so strange. I had been gone for so long, that I felt I had to ring the doorbell. I chuckled to myself as I opened the door and walked in. Mom was right there, as she was about to answer the door.

She said, "Hello, son, why did you ring the bell?" she looked puzzled.

As I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, I replied, "I don't know, actually; it just felt right, somehow. I've been away from here for quite some time now, after all." I set Dave’s junk down by the door. "Oh, yes, here’s Dave’s crap, too."

She looked upset and said, "You two boys need to make up and be friends; he is your brother, you know."

I just shook my head, sadly; "Well, until he can treat Charlie better than he has so far, he ain’t my brother. Charlie has done a lot for our whole family; and Dave treats him like crap."

Mom just looked deeply into my eyes. She told me. "Your brother just doesn’t quite understand about … well … you know."

I snapped back, "Gay’s! Well, that’s what we are and if he doesn’t like it, then to hell with him."

Mom said, "I’m working on him, Hon, just give him some time, he will come around." She had a very sad look in her eyes, and it hurt me to see it, but what could I do about my brother's attitude.

I thought, 'I don’t think he will,' but I was hoping mom was right; then I told her, "Mom, Charlie and I are going to be leaving in a few days for Europe, and I don’t know, for sure, when we’ll be back." Then, after another thought, continued, "We'd love to take you and Pop out for dinner, before we go. Do you think Pop would like that?"

Mom said, "We both would love to. Just let us know a little in advance this time. The last time you sprung it on us with no warning at all." She smiled at me with her motherly cute smile.

"Ok, Mom, I really do have to run, though; Charlie's waiting for me." I remembered that I still had to stop at Greg’s again. I wanted to give him a little time to think about the job offer, before he came out to the ranch.

Mom disappointedly said, "Ok, son, be good to that man of yours, and be safe." Then she broke into a huge grin.

"I will.” I told her; “Tell Pop hi for me." I looked back over my shoulder, and waved at her.

I got into the car, started it, then drove over to Greg’s house, again, and I noticed, as I approached, that his car was in the driveway. I got out of the car and went up to the front door. I rang the doorbell. Greg opened the door, smiled, and said, "Hello, James, how are you today?" He reached out his hand to me.

I reached out and shook it, saying; "I’m doing fine, Greg; I just stopped by to discuss the new job. Greg, I want you to know, that this job is going to require an awful lot of your time. It will also mean that you have to travel a lot, with us both -- Charlie and me. How do you feel about that?"

"Jim, you know I need a good job, and I won’t lie about that. The long hours don’t bother me." He was looking excited. I could see it in his eyes. I just knew he wanted it. I was hoping he could handle it.

"Greg, you know I have a lot of confidence in you, and I really think you can do the job for us. I know Charlie's on my side."

Greg, with a warm smile, said, "Jim, I’ll do everything I can to make you both happy as well as … not regret … that you hired me. I hope you know that."

I said quickly, "Okay, Greg, come out to the ranch tomorrow around noon, ok? The three of us will have a chat." I was thinking, 'God, I hope he takes this job. We really need him.'

Greg answered, saying, “Okay, I’ll be there." He smiled at me.

I smiled back at him, and said, "OK, buddy I’ll see you tomorrow, then." We shook hands and I left. I couldn’t help but grin, as I thought of how well I thought Greg would do in the job.

On the way back to the ranch, I kept wondering, what the heck was in that new briefcase? Why, I don’t know. There was something nagging at me, to try to get into it, but I knew better. It was almost dinnertime when I arrived back at the ranch.

I walked in and there stood Charlie, waiting for me with his arms spread wide. We immediately hugged each other, and we kissed deeply. "I missed you, babe," I said.

Charles <><><><>

Oh, how I missed him today! It was the first time we'd been apart in several weeks. Of course I knew this was going to happen, but I still missed him, very much, oh, so very, much. I just hated that we had to be away from each other. Well, I guess I have to live with it, but nothing says I have to like it.

"How was your trip into town? I hope it was productive. Mine was so-so; I missed you and couldn't keep focused." I stared into his deep blue eyes.

Jim looked me in the eyes and said, "It was okay, I guess. I did stop and talk with Greg about the new job. He'll be out tomorrow, around noon, to talk with us. I hope that was okay, Charlie."

"That's great, babe! I see you have some stuff for me." Jim handed me both of the briefcases; I took them back to the office. Then I returned to the living room where I had left Jim standing. He looked confused, so I asked, "Are you ok? You look like you have something on your mind."

Jim replied with a serious but cute smile, "Nothing much; I was just curious about something, but that can wait; I'm starving; is dinner about done?" Jim looked as if he could eat a bear, claws and all.

I glanced over at Jim and said, "I think Nancy has it all ready. She is just waiting for a pair of handsome young gentlemen to join her in the dining room. I think we need to wash up, though, before we eat." We both headed off down the hall to the bathroom, washed up, and returned to the dining room. Nancy had a nice meal ready for us; the prime rib was exquisite, just the way we both liked it -- blood rare. She had also made our favorite dessert -- homemade apple pie.

After serving dinner, and taking care of the kitchen, Nancy excused herself. We both thanked her for an excellent meal. We each gave her a gentle hug, as she was about to leave, and I said, “Nancy, you've outdone yourself this evening." We got up and retrieved a second cup of coffee, each, and went into the living room again.

I told Jim, "I have a surprise for you, babe." I got up, walked into the office, picked up the new briefcase, and returned to the living room. I sat down next to him, reached over, and pulled him into a big hug. I kissed him lovingly and deeply. I let go of him and looked into his eyes. I said, "Now, Hon, I know this might be a shock to you, but you are my everything; you do know that, right?"

Jim looked puzzled and said, "Of course, babe, you are everything to me, too. So what's the surprise, what is it?" he was excited; I could see it. His blue eyes were wide with anticipation.

I handed him the new briefcase and said, "It's all inside here, hon."

Jim took the briefcase. He tried to open it. He knew it was locked, but had to make it look good. It opened, and he said, with a gasp, "It opened!" then, knowing what had just happened, he blushed.

I knew then, that he had tried to open it before getting home. I was tickled pink. Mike and I had worked this out in great detail. Oh, yes, Mike planned much of it, and was thrilled at what we were about to do. As the case opened, Jim looked inside, and his mouth dropped to the floor. He took in a gasp of air. I was afraid he was going to pass out, so I spoke. "James, are you ok, hon?" He just looked at me, not believing his own eyes.

There, on top of a small envelope, was a new sign, for the Casper office, that read...
 

I looked at Jim; he was crying, and not able to say a word. He just looked at me and hugged me, I told him, "Hon, that was in the works from the time of our committment to each other. There is more in the case, if you're up to it." He was still crying, big tears, almost sobbing. Not tears of hurt, but tears of joy. I knew that, but he was still crying, and that made me feel bad about it. He was still trying to look me in the eyes, through the tears. He saw me hurting, because I was making him sad.

Then he finally spoke. "Charlie, oh, Charlie, Charlie, why did you do that? I was so very happy, just the way we were, but now, my God, now …” he trailed off, still crying.

I just pulled him closer, and started rocking back and forth on the sofa. I whispered in his ear, "It’s alright, babe; you mean a hell of a lot more to me than that damn company, and what good is a company without both of us?" Then I thought, 'I wonder if he's ready for the rest of it?' I said, to myself, 'Oh, go on; go for broke.'

"Hon, there's more in there. Open the envelope, now!" I sure hoped he could just hold together for the rest of his surprise. Jim took the envelope out and tore open the end of it. He pulled out a bankbook.

He opened it and screamed, "Oh … my … fucking …God! How much is that?” He started counting the zeros, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, point 8, 9, my God! There is a three in front of them, Oh, Charlie, that’s THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS !"

"Yes, babe, and you are worth every cent of it." If we could have hugged each other any tighter, we would have been one. Then I told him, "Look at the rest of the stuff, hon."

Jim was still in a complete and total daze. He said, "I don’t think I can stand much more!"

He then found the credit cards, with his name on them. Company credit cards:

James R. Andersen, Partner
Lambert, Lambert, & Andersen Inc.

He just shook his head in amazement.

“Now,” I said, "For the final part of this surprise … well … ALMOST the final part …” I smiled at him with an evil grin, “… The final part will be in the bedroom tonight, I hope! Look in the file folder, hon."

He opened the folder. In there, were all the legal papers, making him a full partner, with the clause reading, In the event of Charles James Lambert’s death, James Roger Andersen will become the sole owner of said Company. OR In the event of James Roger Andersen’s death, Charles James Lambert will become the sole owner of said Company. etc., etc., etc., so much for the rest; you get the idea.

Jim just could not believe what had just happened. He stammered, finally getting out the words, "Oh, Buckaroo, there will be a final part tonight, for sure."

I asked, "Would you like a drink, babe?" He looked at me, just looked at me, with those, oh, so deep, dark, blue eyes. He nodded, 'yes.' I got up and headed for the study, for some drinks. I heard him, on the phone. I knew who was on the other end, his parents ... I smiled as I stood in the hall, not wanting to interrupt the call.

Jim was talking to his mom. I heard, "Oh, Mom, I can't believe this. He is so good to me, and now, this." There was a pause, while his mom spoke, I guess, then; "I will, oh, God, I’ll take such very good care of him." Then another pause, "I'm planning on that, and, Mom, tell pop I am going to help you all out, and I am not going to take ‘NO’ for an answer." Pause again, then, "I love you, too, Mom, good night. Tell pop I love him too." Then he hung up the phone.

We got up, and changed into our robes, and lay on the floor, watching some stupid TV show, and the next thing I knew, I woke up feeling something warm on my manhood. I looked down, and saw Jim’s head bobbing up and down on it. I pretended I was still asleep, taking a quick glimpse every few seconds. In a few moments, I saw Jim take hold of his own manhood. He stroked it slowly. It was very hard, and I was getting as excited as hell. I glanced over to see what Jim was doing. He was still stroking away; so I let out a groan, then I moaned, "Oh, Cowboy you’re so sneaky."

Jim said, "I woke up, and you had something standing up there, that looked in need of some loving, so I figured I'd just take care of it for ya."

I pulled him up and kissed him and said, "Get up, Hon; I want to try something different. What time is it anyway?" I was still half-asleep.

Jim simply replied, “Midnight!"

I said, "I thought we had to be somewhere in the morning?"

Jim answered, "Right now, that can wait. I have something more important to take care of. It's lying right in front of me. It would be too hard to pass it up now. It's only Greg, coming here at noon, babe, and I can go, or come, all night if you want me to." He gave his patented smile.

I took off my robe, lay on my back in the middle of the room, and told him to take his robe off, straddle me, slide his feet up under my arms, and sit on my manhood, facing me.

Jim asked, "What are we doing now?" He thought, 'this is different, indeed.'

I told him, "I’m going to have my way with you, and you are going to do all the work." I snickered at him, with that ‘evil’ look in my eyes.

Jim smiled and said, "That sounds hot, we never tried this before. It really sounds sexy, hon."

I said, "Get the tube of KY, please, and get me ready for your cute ass."

Jim got up on his knees and spread some KY on my cock, and worked some of it into his own butt, then he straddled me. He grinned and said, "I’m going to ride my Buckaroo," He then slid his feet under my arms, and lay back on his arms, forcing his manhood to wave in the air in front of me.

I grabbed my cock, and aimed it towards his rose bud, then, he began by leaning back on his elbows, raised his waist, so I could guide my cock toward the awaiting opening. I pointed it; guiding it, into his hole. He raised himself, onto his hands, lowered himself, until the tip of my cock just started in, stopping with a groan.

Jim tensed saying, "That hurts a little bit, Charlie."

I grabbed his manhood, and started stroking it; he started to jerk, twisted around settled down on my cock, and forced it in about an inch or so.

Jim whispered "Charlie, that hurts, but it feels sooo good, too."

I kept on stroking his cock, very slowly, to keep him excited, but not fast enough for him to lose it. He twitched and jerked again, lowered himself an inch more. He moaned something that I didn’t quite catch. Then, he couldn't hold himself up anymore, so he just sat down on my cock in one movement, until all of my manhood was buried into my Cowboy’s rosebud. He jumped back up, just for a second, then he sat down again, and rested for a few minutes. I was getting so hot; I was ready to unload any minute, I tried very hard, (excuse the pun) not to. Jim’s cock looked like a big purple balloon, ready to burst. I slowly started, raising and lowering my hips, in a fucking motion; this drove him crazy,

Jim jumped, twitched, jerked, and moaned, saying, "God, Charlie, this feels so damned good! I don't think I can hang on much longer!"

I then reached up with my other hand, and started playing with his belly button. He went completely wild, like I never saw him do before. He forced himself up so he could move his legs under himself. He was now kneeling straddling me; this freed his hands for other activities. He reached up, and pinched both my nipples at the same time. I started to buck, which forced me deeper into him, as fast as I could move; I felt myself building up until I let out a loud moan. I whimpered, "Jim, oh, Jim, I'm comiiiing!" while I shot my load up Jim’s cute ass, he just exploded with his cum. He shot his love juice all over my chest. While he was coming, he was jerking so violently, that it felt as though he broke my cock, and he moaned, grunted, and groaned.

Jim just leaned over. He slid down my body enough, to be able to lick his spent juices, out of my belly button, and off my chest, tits and neck. While he was that close to my face, I just grabbed him in a bear hug, and pulled him up my body, until his cock touched mine. Then I started kissing him. I kept it up for a minute or so. I pulled him up again, and said, "Get up on you knees, Jim." Up he came. I put my hands on his cute cheeks and I pulled up at the same time, until his cock was in position for me to suck it.

Jim was semi-hard so I just opened my mouth, and moved my head around until I could get the tip. I sucked it in. Jim started to moan, again, "It's sensitive, and it hurts, but it’s oh, so good, though." I just sucked on his cock and played with his balls and belly button. He started jerking again. His stomach muscles were getting so tight that I could see every abdominal muscle, and every rib in his chest. Then he just about fell over backwards, as he shot another load. I swallowed it all, shot after shot of his hot love juice, until he was completely empty. Then, I pulled him into a bear hug. I kissed him, letting him taste his own love juice. Our tongues played together and we felt the warm silky inner mouths, for a while, until we came down from the after glow.

We got up, and headed for the shower. We washed each other thoroughly, and a couple of things got kind of stiff again, but we were both drained, from all the day’s activities, all and the loving. We got into bed and kissed each other thoroughly and completely, everywhere either of us could possibly think of. I rolled over so Jim could cuddle up behind me, legs to legs, chest to back, and manhood to canyon. It was wonderful.

But time moves on… ♂♂♂♂♂♂♂♂

The next day, we hired Greg Carlson; his first duties were to set up a three month tour of Europe, making all hotel, airline, and dining reservations, travel plans, business meetings, etc. He was also responsible for keeping track of the flow of all the tedious paperwork. He became so attuned to us, that he was even selecting the wine we drank with meals; he was the perfect gentlemen’s, gentleman. We told him he could have an assistant, who turned out to be his wife. When they got married, Carrie Carlson took us up on the offer, so we had a married couple as personal secretaries. They turned out to be great, and did their jobs to perfection. To this day, they are still working for me.

We took Jim's parents out to a real nice place in Las Vegas, known as "Top of the Mint,” for dinner. It was located at the Mint Casino, on the very top floor. We all enjoyed the food and the plane trip out and back that same night; his parents were impressed. We had a chartered flight. Jim paid off his parents’ mortgage on their house, and had it remodeled as well. He also got them a new car. He even got his brother one. Dave took the car, but he never accepted me. I guess he just never could understand how two men could love one another, even as much as Jim and I did.

We had gone to Europe several times and each trip was fabulous. We added holdings in London, Paris, and Munich, and the business almost doubled in size, since Jim and I had become partners. That was the best move I could have made, in more ways than one. Jim and I were so much in love, that we were sure it would last forever, and it didn't fade. It just got stronger, and stronger. Christmas came and went, for the forth year, and our lives and love, were great. I just wished that my parents were still around to see us. Jim and I talked about adopting a child, but that didn't look to be an option in 1967. Life was so good to us, the computer age was upon us, and we had plans to branch out into that field; there was money to be made, and that's what we were into.

The passion of our love was still very strong, and we spent every night we had together, in each other’s arms. Then … then came the most horrible day of my life!

Yes, it was THE most horrible day. It was even worse than when my parents were killed. It’s even hard to tell the story, now, some thirty odd years later. I am crying now, just writing about it, but the more I talk about it the easier my life gets. God, I hope so. I am so lonely, oh, so lonely … without my blue-eyed lover.

Now, let me tell you about how I lost my one true love, the love of my life. It was the 14th of June 1967, a day I'll always remember, even until we meet again.

We were hardly ever apart, but in all business ventures, you occasionally have to have meetings in different locations. It was at one of those meetings that my love was taken from me. He was in San Francisco, California. He had just arrived at the airport. He had picked up his baggage, and was waiting for the limousine. While he was standing in front of the terminal … God, what an ironic name for that building! … a drunk driver, came barreling through at alarming speed, and hit several people, killing one, instantly. Jim was still alive, but he was in critical condition.

Greg called me immediately. He was with Jim at the time of the accident, and was not hurt physically, but mentally, he was devastated.

I called Jim's parents and his brother, and we all flew out on a chartered flight from Casper. We arrived in San Francisco; I was running on adrenaline and raw nerves. Greg met us at the airport; he quickly filled us in on Jim's condition, which wasn't good.

We arrived at the hospital; Greg took us to Jim's room in Intensive Care. At first they were not going to let me in; however, Jim's parents explained who I was, and, along with the fact that I had the power of attorney that I always carried with me, I was allowed in, along with his family.

Poor Jim, he was hooked up to tubes and wires, everywhere; his head was bandaged, he was in a cast from the waist down, and his face was oh, so pale. I pulled up a chair, next to his bed, and took his hand in mine, and squeezed it. I felt him squeeze back, but, his eyes were closed; those beautiful blue eyes were closed.

I just held his hand, and began to pray silent prayers, 'Save him! Please, God, save him for his family, and me.' I sat there leaving his side only for the necessities of life. The doctors were not hopeful. They were afraid of brain damage. I just sat there, talking to him, not knowing whether he could hear me or not. But it made no difference; I had a lot to say. I kept telling him I was there, and I loved him. For two long hard days, I talked to him. He woke up and looked up at me. The sparkle in those deep dark blue eyes was fading. I could see it, oh, God, I could see it, disappearing. He wet his lips, and I leaned down and kissed him again. He was trying to speak, there was no sound; so I put my ear to his mouth, and he whispered something to me. I strained to hear him. Then he said, "I love you Charlie; I'm sorry,' ... and then he was gone. Oh, my God! He was gone ... Thank God, his family was in the room when he died; we all hugged each other, even Dave.

We took Jim back home, to Casper, and he was cremated. His ashes were scattered on top of Casper Mountain. Those were his wishes, and we honored them. To this day, every time l look up at the mountain for strength, I still see his Deep Dark Blue Eyes, smiling at me, telling me “Everything will be ok, babe. Everything will be ok.” Oh, God, how I do miss him.

This is a song written and recorded by Rita MacNeil, a Canadian folk singer. To me this song illustrates exactly how I feel.

Reason to Believe 
Click start arrow to play song.

I've been going over my life
And I feel you in the breeze
You're a constant reminder
Of what used to be
And I know you walk beside me
On the earth beneath my feet
And though you're only a memory
You still give to me
A reason to remember,
And a reason to believe

I've been going over your life
And I've seen you on your knees
You so wanted favors bestowed upon me
And I know that in our distance
You were never out of reach
And though you're only a memory
You still give to me
A reason to remember,
And a reason to believe.

And the love that you gave to me
Is the reason that I feel
Why the heart needs affection
And the soul needs the peace.

I've been going over our time
And when parting had to be.
When you live through the changes
Oh the learning cuts deep
And I know that in your silence
You found a way to speak
And though you're only a memory
You still give to me
A reason to remember
And a reason to believe.

And the love that you gave to me
Is the reason that I feel
Why the heart needs affection
And the soul needs the peace.

And the love that you gave to me
Is the reason that I feel
Why the heart needs affection
And the soul needs the peace.

I will always love you, my beloved Jim...

Life goes on ... James saw the sorrow and pain, that after thirty odd years, his beloved, Charlie, was still suffering. Someone else was suffering as well, for a completely different reason. Maybe James could help them both. Somehow, the two men needed to find a way, with James' help, to overcome their pain and suffering. At least, James would try to help them see each other, try to plant the seeds of love, the seeds of hope which springs eternal. He would try to help that love to grow between them, so that Charlie could find true love, again, and regain the happiness that he and Jim once shared. The other man has suffered, too, maybe not as long as Charlie had, but he had suffered long enough. Only James could see into the future, see the possible outcome from the so-called 'accidental' meeting. So he began his plotting. Knowing what he knew, he made sure that Charlie had to be in Paris, for a meeting, at a certain time, on a certain day, and he made certain that Charlie, would be on one certain, Delta flight, which would leave from Denver, Colorado. Thus, Jim began to set his plan into motion.

Life goes on …


To be continued...