A Second Chance I
By: Tickie
(© 2006, 2007 by the author)
Editor: Radio Rancher
Re-write Editor: Gerry Young

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 2

The warmth of our bodies, cuddled together, was so wonderful, so totally different from any experience I'd ever had before. It was like I had died and gone to heaven, with my true love. I was now staring into his beautiful blue eyes, oh, how deep blue they were.

Jim smiled and said, "A penny for your thoughts!" as he pulled me in closer.

I just smiled at him, still gazing into those deep blue eyes. "It won’t cost you that, but can we just stay like this tonight? I feel so loved, so safe, so everything, and so sleepy."

Jim just put a finger to my lips, and whispered, "Shhhh, we can do what ever you want, Charlie; we have a lifetime. We do, don’t we?"

I smiled again, and moved closer; if closer were possible, I reached my target. Our lips met, we kissed, and kissed and kissed. I whispered, "Oh, yes, but I'm so tired Jim. The blizzard and the long drive, ya know, so can we just sleep." 'Oh, shit, he'll think this is just a fling, no, not a fling, yes, he, he'll think…'

I suddenly had a very cold chill run down my spine, and I jumped, almost out of bed, and then there was a cold jab into my heart. It scared me, really scared me, and I reached back to find Jim sitting up in bed, looking at me, like I was the devil or worse. For some reason, I was so scared, that I was not only shaking, but tears were streaming from my eyes. I had no idea what was wrong. Was it what we had just done? Was it me not wanting Jim? Of course not, it couldn’t be that, but I was so scared of … what … then?

Jim shook me and said, "Charlie, what’s wrong hon, you're scaring me!" He had a look of panic on his face.

Shaking, I said, "I don’t know, I just don’t know; I'm scared, oh, I am just so frightened of … what … I don’t know?"

Jim looked upset; no, not upset, that’s too harsh, more, maybe, 'concerned' is a better description, said, "You think it’s what we just did in the ... Oh, God, I hope not; I don’t want you to think I’m just in lust with you."

In a panic, I responded with shock at what Jim had just said. "Stop it! Jim, I’m sorry; that came out wrong; forgive me, please. I know there was more to what we ... you know; I felt love in those arms, not lust."

Jim looked scared, "You’re still scaring me, Charlie. You're as white as a ghost. So what’s wrong then?" his face was radiating pure love, but his voice was filled with concern.

I was stammering my answer to his question, "I don’t know, I really don’t know; I just had a very cold chill run down my spine, and it was like someone stuck an ice pick into my heart, and it’s so scary, too scary. I've never felt anything like that before."

Jim looked lost as he said, "What can I do hon.?"

I answered with, "Just hold me, please, and make it go away, please, please;" then we kissed.

Jim pulled me close to him, hugged me tight, stroked my hair. He spoke so very softly, “It’ll be alright, it’ll be okay, you just had a chill, it’ll be okay, hon. Everything will be okay in the morning. I’ll be here for you; just go to sleep now; I love you."

As I drifted back to sleep I was still unsure of what had happened. I drifted in and out of sleep; it was like that all night. Jim was tossing and turning, too; I don't think he was sleeping well, either. Every time I woke up, I checked my watch; first, it was 11: something, then 2: something.

Jim opened his eyes and looked into mine, “Are you okay, hon?" he asked me, with love in his voice.

I hesitantly answered his question, not wanting to keep him awake. “I’m having a rough night. I'm just dozing. I'm still frightened about something. I wish, oh, how I wish I knew what it was, but, something's just not right; I can feel it, Jim, my love."

Jim spoke with a tired voice, “Let’s just try and get a few more hours, Hon, then you can be off, and I’ll stay here and get my car."

"NO! I won’t leave you, ever again,” I replied. “I want to help you. This is just some stupid thing; it'll pass." Oh, God. I hope it will pass; it just hangs on like a mill iron around my neck.

We both fell back to sleep, I guess, 'cause the next thing I remember is looking up seeing Jim standing over me, naked. Oh, a Greek God was standing there, not Jim, a God for sure, every muscle in the right place. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. “Good morning, hon, you feeling any better now?" Jim asked.

I answered nervously, “Some, but something’s still not right, but let’s get this show on the road."

Jim’s hands pulled me up from the bed, close to him, then he hugged me, then kissed me, more kisses and more squeezing, and hugging. My cock was so hard, not from morning wood, but from the expectation of what was coming next. He gently laid me back onto the bed, laying his beautiful body on top of me. He kissed my forehead, then he kissed my neck. He worked his way down my front, biting me first on one nipple then pinching the other. Oh, God, this is oh, so good! “I don’t think I’ll last very long," I whimpered.

"We’ll just see about that," he mumbled.

He started down to my bellybutton, flicking his tongue in and out of it. I was biting my lower lip trying to keep from screaming; then he moved to the skin under the penis that joins the ball sack; he licked up the under side of my cock. Oh, God, I was in heaven and God was attending to me. Then I felt the warmth of his mouth on my pee slit, and it felt like he was about to suck me inside out. I was now gripping the sheets with both hands, trying to pull the bed apart. My voice rose almost to a shout, “Oh, God, I'm cominggg! God, I can’t stoooppp!" I unloaded my first load into his mouth, and then another and another, until I was drained. He just kept trying to cum more and more, but it was getting too sensitive, and it started to hurt.

I yelled, “Please stop, it hurts, oh, wait, don't stop, don't ever stop." It was a soothing hurt, and then he slid up my body and kissed me, all the way up. When he arrived at my lips his tongue pressed into my mouth, and I tasted my own cum, not for the first time, but for the first time from my lover's mouth. It was great … no … it was fantastic! I could have just laid there all day, but I knew there were other things that had to be done ... But not before I returned the favor.

Coming back to earth, I spoke, "Oh, that was so, so wonderful, babe; now it’s your turn."

Jim just put his finger to my lips and said, "Shhh, there'll be plenty of time for that, but now I need to get my wheels and get back home.”

My voice rose almost to a shout as I spoke, “Oh, no, you don’t, you cowboy; it’s my turn to have a drink of you!" I smiled at him.

Jim smiled and said, “Now that’s what I want to see, a big smile, oh, a big beautiful smile on my man."

I reached out and pulled him close to me; my hands played up and down his spine. I stroked him, all over his back, then, I pulled him closer to me, pulled him into me; I forced my tongue into his mouth, against the pressure from his own. I kissed him, hugged him; then I started nibbling, first his right ear, then his left. I licked my way down his neck, to the light trace of hair down his chest, between two of the most beautiful quarter sized amber nipples I'd ever seen. I stopped to suck one and play with the other. On down the fur trail, my tongue traveled, to the cute bellybutton, stopping to play at the playground of my man. Then down, it continued, to the muscles of his left leg, down to his toes, oh, those sweet toes, on the right foot, then the left one. By this time, Jim was dancing on the bed, but I had my body pressing him down, like a wrestler holding him in place.

He was panting and trying to talk, “Charlie, oh, Charlie, I'm not going to last much longer, oh shit, oh!"

I told him, “Don’t you dare; I’m not ready yet, Cowboy!"

I worked my way up his right leg, then onto the soft skin next to the base of his manhood. Then I started up the length of his cock, sliding my mouth over the head and sucking him into my throat, sucking him all the way in, until I felt his pubic hairs rubbing my nose. I smelled the musky smell of him. Oh, what a wonderful smell he had. His very own ... then he jerked and put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me in.

Jim yelled, "I'm gonna shooot! Oh, Charlie, I am looosing It!" he was shaking; he was pulling at the sheets.

In a flash of light, he was unloading into my mouth, oh, yes; my man was giving himself to me, in the most loving way ... I just drank it, the sweet nectar of the man I loved. I wanted it to be part of me. I held it in my mouth, I moved up and kissed him and gave him a taste of himself.

"That was so wonderful, and you taste so good, I need to have you for always; that cream I can’t find in a supermarket." I smiled at him as we broke our kiss.

Jim, in the afterglow, said, “That was so nice, hon; thanks for not letting me put it off."

I was so in love, I told him, “That’ll never happen, cowboy, you're mine now, and if you stray, I’ll just hogtie and brand you," I was smiling and he began laughing so loud. “Now, let’s get cleaned up, and get moving," I spoke my thoughts aloud, “We need breakfast, 'cause I’m starving; once we eat, we can get your car."

We showered, shaved, and did the other stuff, too, and then we went out to find the towing company.

On the way, we checked, and found a bite to eat. As we sat there eating, I was admiring my newfound love, and I asked him, “Honey, I need your phone number and address. I need to find you again; I'll need you forever."

Jim replied, “You know I live in Casper, don’t you?" I nodded and then we exchanged information.

Teasingly, I answered, “Well, yes, you did in high school, but you could've moved."

He stated, “No, I still live with my folks; I'm planning on finding my own place, though, when I graduate, and find a decent job." Then he continued to feed his face. He dribbled some egg on his chin, so I reached across the table with my napkin and wiped it off, smiling at him. He seemed not to mind that I cleaned his cute face.

I asked, “What kind of work are you looking for, or do you already have something lined up?"

He replied with, "As a matter of fact, until last night, I was thinking of looking for work somewhere in Texas where it’s a little warmer." He shivered a little, as he smiled at me.

As innocently as I could conjure up an expression, I asked "What happened last night?" and then thought to myself, ‘You dummy, you know what happened, don’t you, or was I just dreaming? Maybe I was.'

"You happened!" Jim replied as he grinned an evil little grin.

"I was only testing!" I snickered at him.

Jim laughed, saying, “I get enough of that shit in school, blue eyes."

"Oh, you noticed?" I snickered, with an evil grin.

Jim just nodded, “I noticed more than that, if you please." He reached under the table, found my manhood, and squeezed it softly.

Well, we paid the check, and took off for the towing company. We pulled into the service station that owned the towing service. Jim got out and went inside to find out what he could. I just sat in the jeep, and waited for him. I was trying to think of ways we were going to be able to keep getting together when we got home. I knew that we couldn’t get together on the ranch because mom and dad would be there, most of the time, and they didn’t know about my sexuality … yet … and I didn’t want to tell them right away. I was too worried as to how they might react. Maybe that was the problem last night; oh, yes, that was it, now I knew what it was; maybe that was it, oh, yes that’s it, has to be.

"Hello there. Are you dreaming or something, Charlie?" Jim asked, as he returned, with news of his car.

Quickly jerking my head toward him, I said, "Oh, yeah, I think I figured out what was wrong last night, but that can wait; what’s your news, hon?"

Jim started telling me what happened, “My car is in the shop right here. They just towed it in this morning. But it’s not in driving condition right now, and they have no parts here to fix it. They can tow it to Casper for me or they can order the parts to be shipped here, and then repair it. Then I can come back and get it in a few weeks. I don’t know what to do right now. I think I have to call home and see what’s best for the folks."

"Jim, I can take you home, you know that, don't ya?"

'Say yes, please, say yes, oh, God, please, tell me I can. I want to … please,' I thought. “Just have them tow it to Casper for you; it might even save you money in the long run," I continued.

Jim thought for a moment, then said, “Well, let me make a phone call and see what the folks think, okay?"

"Sure," I replied. 'Please tell him it’s okay, please,' I mentally begged his folks.

He walked back into the shop to call home, then came out with a grin on his face and a gleam in his eyes.

"Yes, the answer was yes, right?" I asked.

Jim looked at me with a grin on his face saying, “Boy, you're like a little kid getting a present on Christmas morning, aren’t you?"

"Of course, with a gorgeous stud like you as the present." I was grinning from ear to ear, and about ready to jump him right there in the driveway of the towing company.

Jim cleared his throat, then said, “Well, the folks think the same as you, so, if you're ready, we can be off, as soon as I get a few things out of the car."

"Need help?" I asked.

He looked at me with so much love in his eyes, and replied, “I’ll always need your help."

I jumped out of the jeep, and went with Jim to help him. When I saw the crumpled remains of the car, I thanked God, he was okay. He could have been hurt in that mess. The front end was all smashed, and the windshield was broken. Folks don’t realize how hard snow can get, when a moving vehicle packs it. It can turn into cement. We cleaned out the inside of the car, put all his stuff, and Christmas presents, into the Jeep, and headed for Casper.

Jim said, “Thank you, Charlie, for everything." He was giggling, then it turned into a huge grin that showed his gorgeous white teeth, and then he continued, “… and … most of all, for loving me."

I said jokingly, “Well, it’s a little over a hundred miles to the ranch, Jim, and I charge a blow job per mile as a fare." I reached over and put my hand on his lap.

Jim just took my hand, and put it over his heart, and said. “My love is free, so that’s not fair. You know I fell in love with you last night, don’t you?" He raised his eyes heavenward and asked, "God, how come you made us wait so long for this?" Then he looked back at me and continued his loving statements, "Oh, how much I love you. I just hope you feel the same, honey?"

Then Jim thought to himself, ‘Of course he does, doesn’t he? He has to. He just has to; if not, I'm gonna die ... he does, though; I know it. … at least I think he does.'

I said, in answer to his remarks, “Me, too, babe, but..." Suddenly, I went silent, thinking, 'Oh no! Why did I say but? How stupid of me. That'll hurt him. That’s what the pain was last night; I have to figure out how to tell mom and dad ... oh, shit, how to I do that? ... please help me, God, please.'

Shocked, Jim said, “No, Charlie, don’t say that please; what's the … BUT ... for? Are you having regrets now?" He thought, 'No, please; no, please.'

I quickly said, “Jim, listen to me, please." Then I questioned myself again, 'Will he understand? I sure hope so, because I don’t want to lose him now that I have found him.'

Jim said, “I’m listening, Charles." Then he thought to himself, ‘Was that too sharp? I hope not, but I want him to be honest. No, it’s too harsh. Stop it, let him talk. Just listen now, pay attention'

I snapped back to reality and said, “Jim, I’m sorry if that, … BUT ... hurt you. There's no way I ever want to hurt you. I knew it was wrong as soon as I said it; I’m so sorry for that, but I think I know what happened last night and what scared me."

Jim quickly asked, “What scared you hon, and don’t worry it’s alright, I understand, I think?" he smiled at me.

I began to explain, “Well, you don’t know this, but my folks have no idea that I'm gay, and maybe what happened last night was my brain telling me the trouble I might be in for, when I break the news to them." 'I hope not God; I hope not, mom might be okay with it, but not dad, oh, no. Dad will disown me. Can I do that? Oh, shit; I can, yes, I can. I'm twenty-three now, and dammit, it’s my life; yes, I can ... I’ll…'

Jim started telling his story, “You know, my folks have no idea about me, either; so I guess we're both in the same fix, but we don’t have to tell them right now, do we? I wasn't planning that until much later. You do understand, that I have never done anything like … well … you know … what happened last night, don't you?" Then, thinking to himself again, ‘Really, I hadn’t even thought about that, but maybe he's right about what happened. I guess we’ll find out sooner or later. I can see Casper coming up.'

I saw Casper in the distance and asked, “Do you have to go straight home, Jim?" smiling with hope that he didn't.

"Why do you ask, you have something in mind?" Jim asked.

In a soft voice I replied, “Yes, I would like you to meet my folks, and maybe stay for dinner, too?" 'Say yes, please, oh, please, say yes.'

Jim answered with a smile, saying, “I guess so; my folks were going out of town this afternoon and won't be home until tomorrow, anyway, and I'd enjoy meeting your folks. I hope they like me!" Again, he became lost in thought. ‘I'm sure they'd like me, most folks do, you know; but that’s my opinion.'

I just replied with a snicker saying, “Like you? Mom will fall all over you, you're so damn cute." I smiled at him again and he smiled back.

As we approached the city limits, I told Jim that I needed to gas up, before heading out to the ranch, so I pulled in to a station a mile or so down the road. I got out of the Jeep, to fill the tank, and Jim headed inside to find the rest rooms. I knew I'd have to hit them too. As I topped off the tank, I saw Jim coming out of the station with a newspaper in his hand, so I headed into the station to pay for the gas, and use the rest rooms. I finished and headed back to the jeep, jumped in and started the engine. I began to pull away. Just then, I felt Jim’s hand on my shoulder, as he began to speak.

Very sadly, Jim said, almost in a whisper, "Charlie, pull over to the side of the road, please."

I spoke in a loud voice, “What’s wrong, hon?" 'Was he having second thoughts? What’s happened ... now? What?' I pulled into a parking lot next to the station, and turned to face Jim. He had tears streaming down his face.

Again, I spoke even louder, “What’s wrong, honey, what’s wrong, please tell me what’s wrong." I was yelling at him; he was scaring the hell out of me.

Jim started to speak. I could tell he was having a difficult time. Then it came out in a horse whisper, "Shhhh, shhhhh …Charlie … I don’t know how to tell you this; God, I don’t even WANT to tell you this."

"Tell me what?" I screamed. I just knew he was going to break up with me.

Jim, putting his finger to Charlie’s' lips, said, "Shhhh babe, please remember, I’ll always be here for you. Please try to remember that. But I have some terrible news." Jim, thinking with sorrow in his heart, ‘Why me, why do I have to break such bad news to the man that I just fell in love with? Oh, no, why do I... hold up, you have to be his strength; just hold up for Charlie'

"What news? What news?" I was in a panic, and he wasn’t telling me fast enough. 'Tell me, stupid, tell me ... oh, no, he's not stupid, but what’s wrong? Why doesn’t he just come out and tell me?'

Jim reached over and turned off the ignition, and then he removed the keys, and put them in his pocket,; then he held my hand. I pulled back.

"Why did you do that?" I snapped. I instantly regretted the outburst. “I’m sorry, but, please, you really have to tell me, please. I can’t bear waiting."

Jim, speaking to me as calmly as he could, under the circumstances, asked me, “Charlie … is your father’s name Shaun Allen Lambert?" Jim thought, ‘Why am I asking this? Maybe it’s not his dad. God, I hope not, but I'm afraid it’s true. I have to hold together for him now; God, give me strength.'

I was ready to smack him. I said, “Yes, that’s right, why?" I was ready to yank the paper out of his hands.

Jim spoke to me, he was still holding my hand, he was squeezing it pretty hard, almost to the hurting stage, “I have to read this. I don’t think I can just say it, Charlie. I'm so very sorry, hon, that, I have to be the one, to tell you, but, here goes."

Jim held the paper with his free hand. It was shaking, he was so nervous, and then he began to read:
 

Jim <><><><>

I was squeezing Charlie’s hand so tight that I was afraid I might have injured him. As I finished reading the article to him, I pulled him over to me and hugged him. He was in shock, pure shock. He was as white as a ghost, the fact that we were in Casper, (Oh God, not another Casper reference!) didn’t even register with me. Just an empty look in his deep blue eyes, the ones that were so alive only a few moments ago, and …

'Why am I the one, Lord, why me?' He looked better last night than he does now; now I know what happened. He had that terrible nightmare at almost exactly that time last night, and that’s what it was -- a horrible nightmare that came true.'


We sat in that Jeep for the better part of two hours. While I held Charlie in my arms, there were passersby who looked at us, and I just pointed to the newspaper and they all understood. Thank God for that.

Charlie <><><><>

I finally spoke to Jim. I sobbed into his shoulder, “Why me. Jim, why did they have to die? I loved them, you know, I loved them so much. Oh, God, why me? Was it because of last night? God, are you punishing me for that? Are you? Please answer me, God."

Jim hold me tenderly and rubbed my back and said, "God doesn’t work that way, Charlie, he would never punish you like that; I know, I just know he wouldn’t do that, hon. Please believe me!" He then looked up at the roof of the jeep as if speaking, but not a word came out; you could tell he was thinking something to himself. ‘Help me here, God, please help me.' I was stroking his back and rocking him in my arms. 'Please help him through this, God'.

I just shook and was in a daze, to say the least, and asked, “Jimmy … can we please … go to your house … tonight? Please, I don’t think I could stand to go out to the ranch right now. Please say yes, please?"

Jim replied with all the love in his voice he could conjure, “Yes, babes! Of course, we can. Move over here and let me drive. I don’t think you should be driving anywhere for a few days. I’ll be your chauffeur, for as long as you need me."

I just spoke with hope and love in my heart, “Thank you, hon, thank you so much. I'm sure I’ll need you for the rest of my life."

Jim got out of the Jeep and I slid over into the shotgun seat, he opened the door and got in behind the steering wheel, then he started the jeep and began to drive. He turned on to Cy Street, and then onto E. 15th Street, and onto Casper Mountain Road. I was just sitting there in a trance, not knowing where I was, or what was going on around me, then the silence was broken.

Jim spoke saying, “Hon, how are you feeling? Do you need anything special, before we get to my place?" He was trying to help, but I know he was afraid he wasn't getting through to me.

Jim was deep in thought. ‘I don’t know what to do or what to say. This was all so new and scary to me. I could only remember one of my grandpas dying and my having to go to his funeral, and that was a long time ago. What should I do? Oh, God, what can I do? I guess I'll just be there for him, just be there, and love him, I’ll let him know how much I love him,' I kept telling myself as we rode on.

I just whimpered, “Just help me, please help..." I trailed off into silence again.

Jim, with love, said, “I will love," then without thinking, he blurted out, “That damn blizzard, oh, that God damn blizzard, it wrecked my car and killed your parents, that fucking blizzard!" He thought to himself again, ‘I’m so God damn mad at that storm!'

Then Charlie screamed, "OH, my God! I just thought of this. I, fucking, thanked God for that blizzard! It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault! My parents would still be here if I hadn't thanked God for that fucking blizzard! Oh, shit, it’s all my fault, it’s all my doing; oh, please, take this pain away, please."

Jim pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. He reached over and pulled me close to him, then he hugged me and said. “Charlie, stop that right now! I mean it. Stop that right now! It Is NOT, your God damn fault, not a bit of it. So, please, stop accusing yourself. You did nothing wrong, nothing!" He was scared. He was in thought, ‘Was I too sharp, no, not too sharp, he needed a shock, or did he? God, help me. Please, please, don’t hate me,' Charlie, was all I could think of, right at that moment.

I didn’t say anything, I just sobbed into my hands. We started moving again was the only thing I noticed. We pulled into a nice looking, well kept ranch type home. It was a single story place. Then, I remember, Jim, opened my door, and pulled me out. The next thing I remember, he was holding his hand out with a couple pills, and in the other hand a glass of water. He put the pills into my mouth, and then the glass to my lips, and I drank the cool water. He gently pushed me back onto the bed. As I looked around the room, I saw trophies and awards on the dresser, block letters hanging on the walls, and posters of ball players. I felt the bed shake a bit as Jim lay down next to me, pulling me closer to himself.

Jim whispered softly, “I Hope you’re feeling better, hon; just remember I'm here, right next to you.” He thought, ‘I don’t even know if he knew I was there or not, all I knew was that he needed me and I needed him.'

We must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I recall is opening my eyes and it was dark, really dark, no light at all, nothing. I reached for Jim, and he was there. 'Oh, God, I do love him so very much. Could it be true, that falling in love is what they say? Can it happen at first sight? Oh, yes, it can, I fell in love with him a long time ago, when I first laid eyes on him, in high school. Oh, I hope so; I need him, oh how I need him.' I had to get up 'cause I needed the bathroom badly, so I shook Jim lightly. I said, “Sorry, hon, I need to use the bath room." Hmm, no response. I shook him again, nothing. I leaned over and brushed the hair off his face, I found his lips, then I kissed him, and he began to move. I kissed again, and again. Then he must have opened his eyes, because I saw a twinkle of light come off them. I tried speaking again, “Honey, I need to use the bathroom."

Jim as he opened his eyes and spoke, “Oh, okay, let me get the light and show you the way."

I thanked him with a hug and a warm wet kiss. I said. “God, I’m hungry. Do you think we can get some food? I seem to be feeling better now, the shock, oh, what a shock, no, not shock, pure terror, is what it was, yes, pure unadulterated terror. Oh, what now, what now? Oh, shit, how will I cope with all this? The firm, the ranch, the whole God damned thing, oh, shit, it’s all mine now! Oh, shit, what do I do?" I burst out talking, not really knowing what I was saying.

I just started jabbering. “Jim, will you help me with my dad's, NO, my business. I’ll need so much help. I have no idea, what I should do." 'What do I say, and how do I say it? Do something now,' I kept telling myself. “And please, Jim, I need you in so many ways right now; please help me."

Jim answered, "Of course, I'll help you, Charlie; of course!" You could tell he was thinking again, ‘Gees, my mind is in a whirl, my life was changing right here, right now, right in that last sentence. My man needs me and, God, I want him, no, I need him, oh, shit, I don’t care, we need each other', then he said, “Let’s just go get some dinner hon."

I was happy that he said yes, then I said, “Okay, cowboy, I need some food and lovin’." My mind was clearing now. I started to think more rationally. I knew I had to call the sheriff’s office, and let them know I was back in town, but that could wait until after dinner.

Jim smiled broadly at me, when I saw on his face that he realized I had started to think more like a person and not a zombie. Then he spoke, “That’s my guy. I don’t ever want to see you like that again, please." He grinned, then it turned into as big a smile as he could muster.

I just auto replied, “Like what?" I was still a bit puzzled, then I thought, 'You're an idiot. You know what he meant.' Oh, yes, I knew.

We had dinner at the Corral, a very nice restaurant. My folks and I had eaten there many times before, and apparently so had James’. After dinner and some small talk, we headed home. I had told Jim that I needed to contact the Sheriff, and find out what was going on. So, when we got back to Jim's place, I called and talked to the Deputy on duty. I let him know where I was, and how he could reach me. He told me that Sheriff Johns would be in touch as soon as he could get free. Then I tried to think of whom else I should call, but there were only the people in Dad's office, so I looked up Mike Farrell’s number and called him.

He told me how sorry he was, and passed on his condolences. I told him to keep things rolling as if Dad were still here. Mike was Dad’s general manager, and I knew he could do it, or Dad wouldn’t have him in that job. If anything in Mom and Dad’s Will changed anything, I would let him know. Mike also told me that the company’s Attorney, Douglas McKenny, was the Attorney who took care of Shaun’s personal legal things as well as the company’s. I told Mike that I had faith in him to keep things rolling, and that, for now, nothing would change in the company, until I could get a better handle on things, and maybe not until I finished school in the spring. Mike thanked me, and again told me how sorry he was. He told me that if there was anything I needed him to do for me, anything at all, to help me, I should let him know. He even told me, that if I needed a company car, or anything from the company, to yell and he would see to it that I had whatever I needed.

"Jim, honey, I still have a few more calls to make, is it alright with you?" I knew it would be, but I asked anyway.

Jim answered, “Of course you can, babe; you didn’t need to ask that, and I am waiting for you, too." He had a grin a mile wide at that point. You could see the wheels spinning as he thought to himself again, ‘That lover of mine has snapped out of it. Thank God, or is he? He seems to be doing okay. God, keep him strong.' I looked up into his deep blue eyes; they seemed to have life in them again, just a sparkle, but life, none the less'.

I looked up the Attorney’s phone number, and called him. I got his answering service, told the lady who I was, and that I needed to speak with Douglas McKenny. She said, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry for your loss, son. I’ll get Doug to call you back as quickly as I can." I gave her the number where I was staying for a while.

Soon, the phone rang.

Jim answered it, turned to me, and said, “Now that’s fast, it’s your Attorney. He called back in less than three minutes." Then he handed me the receiver.

But little did I know why. With a client who now was worth eight hundred ninety million dollars, plus-or-minus fifty million, I would've been fast, too.

After some other things that he needed to tell me, Doug informed me of the approximate worth of my inheritance. When he did that, I just yelled out, "Oh, my God, how much did you say?" I could not believe my ears; 'It’s not true; it can’t be that much.' I couldn't even comprehend that much money, at the moment.

I looked over at my cowboy, he looked shocked, but calm, like a pillar of strength. In my heart, I knew, things were going to work out for us.

Doug then told me that I was the only beneficiary in the will, who was still living, and that I was inheriting my parents’ estate, and there were no other beneficiaries. Again, he passed on his condolences, and told me how shocked he was, and how sorry he was. I thanked him and told him that I would keep him on as the company Attorney for as long as he kept doing the good work he had done for my father.

About the time I hung up the phone, it rang again, Jim answered it, then said, “It’s for you.” Then he whispered, “I think it’s the Sheriff." and for the second time handed me the receiver.

Sheriff Johns told me how sorry he was and passed his condolences to me. He asked me if I would rather have him come here to talk in person, or if I was okay to talk on the phone. I told him the phone would be fine. I didn’t want anyone to come between my lover and me tonight.

He explained all the gory details of the accident, which I could just imagine. He also told me that the only way that my folks could be identified was from their dental records, since they were both so badly burned, but, that the coroner was a hundred percent sure it was they who were in the car. He then told me where the vehicle had been taken. I thanked him, and we hung up.

I said, “Jim, that was the most gruesome story I've ever heard." I was crying again, and Jim came over to the couch, sat down beside me, and pulled me into a warm loving hug, saying. “I’m so sorry, babe. I wish there were something I could do to make the pain go away from the most beautiful man in the world."

I whispered in his ear, “Do you think it would be wrong for us to make love tonight?" I wanted something to take my mind off the pain, and slow down the crap that was happening, too damn fast. I just wanted my lover next to me, now and forever, 'Oh, please now…'

He pulled me up, wrapped his big muscular arms around me, and kissed me, really kissed me. He headed me toward his bedroom again. He joined me in there, after he made the rounds to lock up and turn off all the lights in the house.

To be continued...