Dusk had fallen over the small farm, slowly turning the earthy colours to greys and blacks. The two cows and three horses were safely in the barn for the deepening night. The crops glimmered in the distance as a slowly rising moon, emanated a silver-blue hue over everything, replacing the failing daylight.

 

The house was partially lit but its only occupant was the farmer, who was already well on the way to drinking his unbending mind into a blurry sleep. He growled and grumbled, as if he were angry with someone for doing something wrong. Oblivious to his own bitter sounds, he therefore expected no response and silence was his just reply.

 

The only other light from the farm came from the hay shed. A young man sat on a single bale, watching as the farmer’s son lifted bale after bale, shifting and stacking them in perfect, geometric walls, filling the ground level beneath the loft, to almost three quarters full.

 

The younger man, Rick, specifically eyed the face of the farmer’s son. He was looking at the black, blue and purple bruises from the strikes of fists, which coloured the normally smooth and tanned face of the twenty-year-old. His bottom lip was busted and swollen and an unstitched cut was still raw along the crest of a prominent cheekbone. Rick felt his heart ache, as he stared at the handsome face in its current condition.

 

Ray, the farmer’s son, stopped momentarily, undid his shirt and pulled it from his body. This action revealed more random bruises on his back, chest and shoulders. Using the shirt as a towel, he wiped the dripping sweat from his large and hard, muscular body. It was a body that was powerful and strong.

 

Rick stared at Ray’s body but turned away. Seconds later he turned his head slightly so he could look again covertly. He loved the size and shape of Ray’s body and he often got lost in his imagination, when his gaze came upon any of Ray’s naked skin or huge muscles.

 

Ray was concentrating on what he was doing but just for a moment, he sensed a feeling of eyes watching him. He did not turn or look up; he simply adjusted his eyes and caught the younger man gazing at him. Ray noticed the expression on the younger man’s face. He was blushing to the point that his face was flushed red. Ray did not react; he simply lowered his eyes and then glanced at the work that was still left to do. He took a deep breath, threw his shirt across the barn at Rick’s feet and went back to work.

 

Rick’s seventeen-year-old innocence was being cracked open. Feelings he had never known he possessed, in the last month had been pushed to the surface. They were feelings that only came after meeting Ray. He barely understood what was happening inside, however, every time he stood next to Ray and he smelled the earthy and sweaty scent that pervaded Ray’s body; Rick knew something out of the ordinary was happening. The feelings and thoughts called to Rick like some vague voice from a distance, creating a plague of need within him, to go back and see Ray again. Everyday the need was stronger; to see him, to smell him and to let the sound of his deep yet quiet voice, move through him.

 

Rick had spoken to Ray for the first time during the end of the previous month. Ray may have been on a nearby farm but Rick lived with his parents; two people who could have been compared to the Amish. They kept Rick cloistered from the world on their farm, working him hard and never giving him any freedom to see anyone or to go anywhere. Since the recent death of his mother, Rick’s father had become distant and uncaring, only showing the slightest concern if Rick was not there to do his chores or the work expected of him. Since the newly opened gate of his father’s grief unshackled Rick, he had begun to wander short distances from his home.

 

One day as he walked along the old dirt road, Rick came upon a young man by a boundary fence. The man was trying to help a calf, which had somehow managed to get separated from its mother and then got tangled in the broken wire from the fence of a neighbour’s farm. Rick offered the man some help, as the calf struggled and screamed. Rick’s appearance had made things easier for Ray and he had been very grateful for his help; a young man he did not know and had never seen. From that day forward, Rick began uninvited visits to see Ray.

 

Rick had no idea of how different he was from those of the outside world. He believed it was because of his younger age that Ray treated him like a kid. In a way he was right but it was actually Rick’s innocence and lack of adult conversation skills, which influenced how Ray interacted with him. Even so, following the day he stopped to help, Ray accepted Rick’s continuing, random appearances, even though they seemed to have little in common.

 

Every time Rick stopped by unexpectedly, Ray never told him to leave. Ray thought it was odd that the unusual young man was returning, however, over less than a week, Ray came to enjoy the initial silent company, as opposed to the loneliness of the farm or the rants of his father. Even the seeming abyss between he and Rick was a pleasant change.

 

After two weeks, wherever Ray would go on the farm, Rick would follow him like a loyal dog. Rick had begun to talk to Ray but most of the time it was nervous chatter of little importance. He did not seem to care that Ray barely replied to what he said, he was just happy to be there and to have someone who occasionally acknowledge him.

 

Ray listened but remained silent and soon he began to feel comfortable having the younger man around and returning more regularly. Sometimes the relentless drone of Rick’s voice was like a relieving radio in the background; an easy listening music station like a consistent and friendly presence. By months end both men were more relaxed with each other and when Rick said anything of interest, Ray would engage him and his replies had begun to grow.

 

While Rick continued to watch his quiet friend move and shift the heavy bales of hay; he remembered how two days prior, when he had come to spend some time with Ray, he had been shocked by the battered appearance of his face. Even so, he said nothing regarding it and treated Ray like nothing was different at all. Ray had looked at him with surprised curiosity but at the same time, he had smiled at him and seemed pleased.

 

Rick also remembered how he felt sorry for Ray. He had on occasion seen Ray’s father. The man had never acknowledged Rick and had only looked at him with disdain. Rick thought he looked very old and he did not like the way he always smelled of stale beer. He detested the way the old man spoke to Ray with words of ridicule and intimidation. Rick thought he treated Ray like he was a slave and not like a son. Rick had not liked the man from the day he first saw him and he despised the angry shouting that was directed at Ray all the time. It was because of the way the man treated Ray, he assumed Ray’s father had been the one who had beaten him severely.

 

The more he looked at Ray’s body, the more he began to remember. It was that same afternoon when he saw Ray’s face; Ray said to no one in particular, “That’s enough for today” and then walked down to the river. He followed Ray as he always did and then stood quietly, as he watched the farmer’s son strip naked and dive into the water. He thought Ray’s body was so big and strong and he loved the roll of the muscles and the tightness of the skin. When Ray surfaced he looked at him and said, “Come on, strip off and jump in.”

 

Like a loyal dog to its owner, he did as he was told. He did not know how to swim and less than a minute after he entered the water, the current gripped him and began to pull him away. Ray grabbed him to secure him toward the shallower water. However, Rick reacted spontaneously to the new feelings created by Ray’s nakedness and touch and he wrapped his arms around Ray, pulling himself tight to his body.

 

Rick remembered how Ray had reacted, ripping their chests apart and literally throwing him toward the bank. Ray was silent, his eyes angry before they softened. Turning away, Ray dived, swimming farther out into the depths and heavier current. When he stopped, he turned around and looked back. Rick could remember wondering why it was wrong to hold someone he cared about. He also remembered feeling confused and uncertain, as Ray stared at him. He then saw Ray begin to return with strong and heavy strokes toward the riverbank.

 

Knowing he had done something wrong, he dragged himself up and scrambled out of the water. Struggling, he tried to pull dry jeans over wet legs. He stumbled and fell but sat up and tried to do the same with his shirt. He thought he must have looked like a young man who had never learned to dress himself. He pulled at different parts of his clothing while wishing he could vanish and wondering what he had done wrong.

 

Unexpectedly, Ray’s large, male hands, pulled at Rick’s shirt from behind, casually sliding it more easily over his arms. As Ray walked around in front of him, Rick stared at the thick and heavy, flaccid penis, which swung with Ray’s movement, in front of a large scrotum.

 

Ray had lifted Rick to his feet and pulled up his pants. He smiled at him, mussed his hair with his fingers and then said, “We should call it a day and you should go home.”

 

Rick could remember the sincere eyes and the kind smile but still he had wondered if everything would be okay. He nodded agreeably at Ray, pulled on his boots and then started walking home.

 

“See you next time,” Ray had called out.

 

Rick snapped out of his memory of that day. He turned more directly to face Ray, reached down and picked up the shirt Ray had thrown at his feet. Ray was still lifting bales and all the muscles were bulging in his arms, chest and back. The moment Ray turned away, Rick lifted the sweat soaked shirt and pressed it to his nose. He inhaled Ray’s scent and he felt dizzy. Lowering the shirt to his lap, he held it safe like it was a nugget of gold. He stared at Ray like he was an angel from heaven.

 

Ray slid another bale tightly into position and then stopped. He leaned on the bale, breathing heavily and wondered if his father was unconscious. He wanted to go inside and shower and he wanted to eat and go to bed, however, he also thought that nothing was so important that he would risk another undeserved beating.

 

Not only did Ray know he did not deserve the beatings, he also knew he could stop them if only he was prepared to fight back. Ray knew exactly how big and strong he had become. His father may have been a tough old man but Ray was fully aware he could knock his father on his arse. The problem was that before everything went to shit, Ray had been raised with notions of respect and honour and dignity.

 

Ray knew why his father beat him.  He knew it was because his mother had left his father for being a violent alcoholic. Ray hated her for leaving him to deal with his father alone. He also understood that she had no money and nowhere to go. She was barely capable of getting away alone, let alone taking a young man with her. Still he thought that was three years ago and why the fuck had she never come back to save him. He felt an overwhelming knot of emotion rising up through his chest and then he heard the unexpected sound, a single sound of crying, before he realised it was his own sound and then swallowed it down into his private pit of unreleased and hidden tears.

 

Ray felt the touch of a hand on his back. It was so gentle, so tender and he turned to look at the young face that appeared so sad. He saw the mouth open and he heard the voice that said, “Ray, please stop and rest. It’s night and you don’t need to do this any longer. You can finish it tomorrow.”

 

Ray smiled at Rick and then replied, “Yeah Rick, you’re right, I don’t. Come on,” he said and with his arm around Rick’s shoulder, he walked to the empty part of the large shed and pulled a bottle of beer from a box.

 

“You want a beer,” he asked, offering the bottle, “I brought them out earlier just in case but they’re still pretty cold.”

 

“No thanks, I don’t know if I’m allowed to,” Rick replied.

 

“I’m telling you you’re allowed. When you’re with me, Rick, you’re allowed to do whatever I tell you that you can, so, have a beer with me,” Ray said.

 

Rick did not even question what Ray had said. Ray had told him to do it and because he knew he would do whatever Ray told him, he took the beer immediately. Ray smiled and shook his head and then reached and removed the cap for Rick. He bent down and grabbed another bottle and uncapped it as well. He swigged deeply from the bottle, watching as Rick watched him, before copying exactly what he had done. The moment Rick lowered his bottle; Ray laughed and pulled Rick against his side, his arm holding him firmly against him.

 

“You’re an odd one,” Ray said.

 

Rick asked, “You think I’m odd?”

 

“In a good way, Rick, at least good for me,” Ray said.

 

Rick said fearfully, “Aren’t you even a little angry at me for whatever I did wrong at the river?”

 

“Rick, I know you didn’t mean to do anything wrong and truthfully, you didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t be angry with you because it’s me I’m angry with. Rick, I’m also not angry because I also know you’re about the only real and decent person in my life.”

 

“What about Sue? I saw you with her at the river a week ago,” Rick explained.

 

Ray asked, “You saw that? How do you know Sue?”

 

“I don’t know her, I just heard you say her name. I didn’t mean to see you. I’m sorry, Ray.”

 

Ray subtly shook his head at Rick’s innocence and said, “It’s okay, little buddy. Did you see everything?”

 

Embarrassed, Rick looked down at the ground and replied, “I guess.”

 

Ray grinned and said, “Did you like what you saw?”

 

Rick looked up into Ray’s eyes and nodding with an emphasis that did not match his words or tone of voice he said, “Sort of.”

 

Ray’s knowing smile spoke volumes, however, he knew that Rick did not understand the thoughts or the feelings and physical reactions that were occurring in his head and heart or between his legs. Curiously, Ray asked, “Did you like watching us?”

 

Rick smiled warmly and replied, “I liked watching - you, Ray.”

 

“Rick, you can’t say things like that. You have to stop looking at me like you do. It makes it so hard for me. Damn, it makes it so very, very hard and your so innocent and I, well, I can’t let myself do that.”

 

Rick looked at Ray with confusion and said, “Do what?”

 

“Oh, Ricky,” Ray replied while shaking his head.

 

Rick asked, “What? What did I do?”

 

“Nothing Rick and that’s the problem,” Ray said and rolled his eyes as he looked up pleadingly at the roof of the shed.

 

“I don’t understand, Ray,” Rick said, looking even more confused.

 

“I know you don’t but you’re bringing up these feelings in me and it makes me want to explain it to you,” Ray said with a tone of frustration.

 

“Ray, you can tell me anything. If it’s a secret and you don’t want anyone to know, I promise I won’t say a word,” Rick said honestly and proudly.

 

“Shit, I need some air. Come on little buddy, let’s go up to the loft and open it up,” Ray said and they climbed up the ladder.

 

Ray walked over and unlocked the door and slid it open. It did not make a huge difference but there was a slight breeze and it cooled his sweating skin. He sat down with his legs hanging outside and he swigged on his beer again. He sighed.

 

Rick was still standing behind him. The moon was high and it bathed Ray’s shirtless body, making his tanned skin a glimmering dark blue. Rick felt his erection getting so hard and all he could think was that he wanted to touch Ray’s skin. Quietly, he knelt down behind Ray and he slid his fingers over a heavy bruise on his back. Ray flinched just a little but then he sighed again and took another swig of his beer.

 

“I hate him for doing this to you,” Rick said and then he leaned down and kissed the bruise.

 

“Oh, Ricky,” Ray said, trying to make it sound like it was wrong but it came out like he wanted more. It also brought tears into his eyes, which he pushed back down with self-taught control.

 

Rick gripped Ray’s waist softly, as he kissed his shoulders and back. Ray moaned and then he felt Rick’s hands sliding around and up onto his chest. In his mind, Ray was screaming at himself; admonishing words that Rick was too young and too innocent. Ray’s internal voice was also justifying that he had worked so hard to hold these feelings at bay. However, as he felt Rick’s fingers sliding over his nipples, his heart was pounding and his cock was throbbing and he knew he wanted to turn around and take Rick into his arms. He wanted to teach Rick the ways of the adult world.

 

Rick said softly, “Ray?”

 

Ray responded, “Yeah?”

 

“I don’t know why but I think I love you,” Rick said.

 

“Shit, Ricky,” Ray said and then sighed, “it’s okay and I love that you love me.”

 

Ray twisted and put his arm around Rick. He pulled Rick’s shirt over his head and then pushed him onto his back. He crawled over him and lowered his chest onto Rick’s.

 

Rick lay where Ray had pushed him and stared up at the approaching man he loved so deeply. He gazed at the naked upper body, seeing the huge chest and big, dark nipples, all surrounded by beautifully tanned skin. He stared at the massive shoulders and then at the powerful arms he wanted around him. His gaze dropped down when he noticed the head of Ray’s cock sticking out from the jeans that wrapped tightly around his hips. It was so much bigger than he had seen it at the river and he thought he wanted to lick the glistening surface, as a clear moisture emerged from the large slit. His gut began to swirl and he felt dizzy again. He raised his gaze to Ray’s intense, blue eyes.

 

“Rick, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day your smiling face showed up to help me. You’re so cute and the way you look at me makes me want to pick you up and never put you down,” Ray said.

 

“Me? I’m nothing, Ray. You’re so handsome and so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

 

Ray chuckled but it was not because he thought it was funny. It was because he knew at that moment the key had been turned and the prison gates were finally unlocked. Ray knew in the next couple of hours, Rick and his innocent thoughts were going to grow up in the blink of an eye.

 

“Ricky, do you trust me?”

 

“Yeah, I do, Ray, more than anyone else.”

 

“Ricky, do you want to be with me?”

 

“I am with you, Ray,” Rick said, looking at Ray oddly.

 

“Yeah, Rick, you’re here with me but I want to show you how you can really be with me when you’re with me. Would you like to be closer to me?”

 

“Ray, this may sound strange to you but I have this thought at times that I want you to eat me. I want to be inside of you. I want to be part of you and I want to be with you forever.”

 

“Rick, didn’t you go to school?”

 

“No, I got educated at home,” Rick replied.

 

Ray asked, “Did your parents ever teach you about sex?”

 

“No, my mother told me only bad boys did that and that if I didn’t want to be a bad boy, then I had to say no to sex. I told her I’d say no but she never told me what it was.”

 

“Rick, you know how your dick is really hard when you’re with me?”

 

Rick blushed beetroot red. “Yeah, he whispered in embarrassment.

 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Rick. It happens because your body is telling you it wants to have sex. It happens when you’re with me because it wants the sex to be with me. Sometimes it happens because you love someone more than anyone else. When you love someone like you love me, it’s normal to have sex with that person. It’s why my dick is so hard too. We’re hard because we want to have sex with each other. It’s the way two people can enjoy sex or truly share their love,” Ray explained.

 

Rick asked, “When you were with Sue, was that what you were doing? Having sex?”

 

“Yes Rick,” Ray said.

 

Rick asked, “Do you love Sue?”

 

Ray sighed. “No Rick. My dick got hard with Sue and I had sex with her but… Oh shit, Ricky. I was thinking about you when I had sex with her.”

 

Rick asked, “Why?”

 

“Because I wanted her to be you. Rick, I wanted to have sex with you but I didn’t think I could and so in my mind I was picturing you while I was with her.”

 

“Ray, I’d give you anything you want and I’d do anything you want.”

 

“Oh shit,” Ray said in a loud whisper, “Ricky, I think I need to talk with you and to explain a lot of things to you. I want to explain about having sex and making love. I want to explain about men and women and especially men and men but mostly, I want to explain about people being equal and not thinking about someone else as more important than you,” Ray said.

 

“But Ray, you feel more important to me than I feel to myself,” Rick explained.

 

“Hell, I just know I’m going to fall for you, Ricky; really, really hard,” Ray said.

 

“I don’t want you to fall, Ray. Maybe we should move away from the loft door,” Rick said seriously.

 

“No, Ricky. I’m not talking about falling down. I’m talking about falling for someone. Falling for someone is a good thing. It means falling in love,” he explained.

 

“Tell me what to do, Ray. Tell me how to make everything okay and to make you happy,” Rick said.

 

“Well, you can start by letting me teach you how two men who love each other, kiss each other,” Ray said.

 

“Really? I’ve been wanting you to kiss me for so long,” Rick said, smiling brightly.

 

“Oh, Ricky, my little buddy, you’re going to be the end of me,” Ray said but then noticing the growing look of concern on Rick’s face he added, “that’s a good thing, Ricky.”

 

Rick’s smile grew even bigger and then he wrapped his arms around Ray and pulled his head down until their lips touched. Ray moaned, believing Rick was about to change his life, while knowing without a doubt, he was going to change Rick’s life as well.