Finding Dayton Du'it

By: Solo Voice
(© 2017 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

solo_voice@tickiestories.us

Chapter 8: Coffee In The Kitchen.

The following Saturday, Lance came home from signing a new lease and paying the first months rent and he was more than happy, to say the least. He was sitting at the breakfast bar and though it seemed a little strange even to him, he was staring at the receipt for the rent and he was smiling. He really had been very worried that a third housemate was not going to show up and that he would have to find somewhere else to live.

He thought about Dayton and he was so pleased his new friend had been right. It was not even a week that had to pass because only two days after Dayton had said that someone was going to show up, Kat was moving in. It seemed like everything was going to work out well.

He thought about Kat and he had been surprised at how much he liked her and how quickly they had connected. From Sunday to Saturday he felt like she had become a friend. Of course their relationship was still forming but somehow he knew it was real. He had only ever had one other woman as a friend and though he knew it was different to a man, it was a nice if subtle difference. He was feeling the same way about Kat as he did about Dimity.

At that moment, Kat walked into the kitchen and filled the electric jug with water and turned it on to boil. She turned around and leaned against the bench, her arms folded as she watched Lance staring at the piece of paper in his hand.

“Must be the answers to the meaning of life,” she said as she looked at him.

He asked, as he looked up at her with confusion, “What?”

“With that satisfied smile on your face, the way you’re staring at that piece of paper with such fondness, it must have the secrets to life written on it.”

“Oh, right. No, it isn’t that,” Lance said.

“No shit,” Kat said and laughed.

“It’s you, actually,” Lance specified.

“How’s that?”

“Well, you and Dayz to be accurate. You know how I told you about what happened when I moved in here and how I had to get two tenants so I could stay?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Dayz showed up really quickly but when there was only one week left, I was getting really worried that I’d have to move out and find somewhere new. Dayz assured me everything would be okay but I loved this house so much and I let myself get down and pessimistic. Anyway, you moved in the following Sunday and today I signed the lease and paid our first months rent. It’s making me happy.

“That’s sweet.”

“Probably sounds dumb to you,” Lance said.

“Not at all. I meant that in a positive way,” Kat replied and Lance smiled and nodded.

The water boiled and without asking, Kat made them both a coffee and then sat directly opposite Lance before she said, “I know what a caffeine freak you are, so I couldn’t let you go into withdrawals while I sat drinking one in front of you.”

“Another drug lord living with me, I’ll never go without while you guys are living here.”

“I won’t be your coffee slave but if I’m making one, I don’t see a problem to make everyone else one as well.”

“No expectations, Kat.”

“Actually, I want to talk to you about something while Dayton’s at work.”

“About what?”

“Dayton, you and I, all of us really.”

“Be any more vague, can you, Kat?”

“Lance, I want to tell you I’m a lesbian and I know that you’re gay.”

“Hell of a conversation starter,” Lance replied and Kat smiled.

“I like to get to the point,” she said.

“Well you seem to have already made it,” he replied.

“Actually, no, that was just my approach.”

Lance said, “Damn, can’t wait to hear what’s coming next but tell me first, I really didn’t think I was that obvious. No one has ever picked me as gay before. How and when did you know?”

“It wasn’t a matter of looking at you and thinking you were a screaming queen or something like that. Lance, you aren’t obviously gay, physically or in your mannerisms and so I didn’t pick you as you put it. It was what I saw on the day I met both you and Dayton that put me on track. I saw the way you looked at Dayton, I heard the way you spoke to him and I also heard the amount of emotional tone in your voice when you made reference to him.”

“Really?”

“Lance, let’s cut to the chase.”

“What?”

“He’s straight. You know it and I know it. So I’m wondering why you’re letting yourself fall into a hole you know you won’t want to be in?”

“What are you talking about, Kat?”

“I’m being direct with you, Lance. Don’t respond with avoidance and bullshit. Do me the courtesy of showing me some respect. I’m talking about the fact that you’re crazy about Dayton and we both know it. Don’t you understand the dangerousness of the road you’re on? It’ll ruin you.”

Lance looked at Kat and he knew what she was saying was right but he did not interpret what she was saying correctly. He assumed crazy about him meant hot for him. To Lance, Kat was suggesting something he had already thought about, which was that Dayton was becoming like a best friend to him. The more the friendship grew and he embraced that aspect, it also seemed his sexual attraction was growing stronger as well. Somehow it seemed like it was becoming a trap. He told Kat he agreed with her and she shook her head and looked down into her coffee thoughtfully.

Not realizing they were on similar yet different tracks, she said, “I suppose it would be ridiculous of me to expect you to be able to dismiss one thing in favor of the other?”

Lance sighed and then said, “Kat, I’m not stupid and I know you’re right. He’s becoming a really good friend, really quickly. I don’t have an enormous amount of friends in San Diego and certainly not any like Dayz. The thing is, I think he’s a beautiful soul and everything I’d want in a man, idealistically speaking. I suppose I’d love him as a boyfriend but I know that’s not an option. Realistically speaking, he’s so damned hot to me and it’s hard not to think of him in terms of being naked in bed with me. I want the friendship but I also want the sex. I guess I’m just trying to keep it all under control.”

“Lance, I’m a lesbian and even I think that Dayton is amazing. He’s so good looking and he’s got such an amazing body but even more than that, he’s actually really well balanced or at least he seems to be. Dayton is just such a nice guy. Hell, if I was into men, I’d want him too but he’s straight and one day some woman is going to scoop him up. If he finds out how you feel, you’ll be left high and dry with me picking up the pieces.”

Lance thought Kat was being a little melodramatic regarding his feelings for Dayton but he said, “You’d do that for me?”

“Lance, trust me, I don’t want to have to pick up the shattered pieces of lost love but yes, I would.”

“Lost love? I think you’re confusing lust with love,” he said.

They both looked intently at each other and while Lance honestly thought the word love was way over the top, Kat was looking at him with a raised eyebrow of disbelief. Innocently giving Kat’s terminology no credence, he continued to another consideration, which was about to take them to a place of understanding each other.

“I really like you, Kat. It amazes me that following such a short period of time, you’re treating me like I’m someone important in your life. I’ve been thinking this week how much I like you and so I have to say that if I were a woman, a lesbian and I could comprehend the irrational attraction to vagina, I’d scoop you up right now and I’d probably fuck you on this bench.”

Kat snorted with amusement before she replied, “Thanks Babe but if you were and if you did, it would be me fucking you and you’d be on your back like you want to be with Dayton. Anyway, all fairytales aside, I’ll support you the best I can but I think you really need to find a solution, before this turns into a real problem.”

“Yeah, I know Kat and by the way, thanks for coming out to me and for telling me you’ll be here for me. It means a lot.”

“Well I’m no fag hag but a real friend I can be.”

“A real friend you are and a real friend you have, Kat.

“Lance, do you prefer to keep your sexuality hidden?”

“No, not at all. Why would you think that?”

“I would’ve thought you’d have come out to both Dayton and I on the days we came to see the rooms and the house.”

“Right. Well yeah, usually I would have but I let things get out of hand.”

“I don’t understand,” Kat said.

“I don’t know if I can explain it to you clearly but on the day I met Dayton, I reacted to him differently to any man I’ve ever met. To be honest with you, Kat, even now I still don’t understand why I feel so differently toward him. Anyway, as crazy as this may sound, I was so… I don’t know, Kat; it was like being star struck and then I was so hot for him that I actually forgot about everything I was supposed to be doing and then I just asked him to move in. Over the next few days we connected and it was fun and interesting and I was beginning to like him so much. I didn’t want to risk losing what I had gained and then I started putting it off.

“When you showed up, I couldn’t tell you because he was there with us and also because I guess I didn’t want to risk that if I did tell you; you might say something to him and he’d hate me or think I’d been lying to him and subsequently he’d leave. Really, I didn’t lie to him but I’ve got myself into a predicament and now it’s dragging out into a problem. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, every time I’m with him in fact. I know I have to tell him and I’m going to but it’s reached a point where now I’m trying to find the best time,” Lance explained.

“I understand but you do know that there isn’t really going to be a best time. I mean I know what you’re saying, Lance. You mean the most relaxed time but if Dayton is going to react badly, no time will be better than another.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied.

“So I gather, Lance, you’re not a gay scene kind of guy.”

“Not at all but why would you assume that?”

“Because these days so many gay people believe in pronouncing their sexuality to everyone immediately. They see it as a necessity and a matter of pride, regardless of the circumstances or consequences. So many gay men and lesbians on the scene are almost fanatical about the requirement of coming out to everyone we meet. You however, didn’t do that and so I thought it made sense. Apart from anything, as we’ve already covered, you’re not particularly obvious in the outward expression of your sexuality,” Kat explained.

“Well, I’ve never been obvious and I never will be. I’m just a man and that’s the way I like it. I suppose that needs clarifying. You see, Kat, I’ve known I was gay since pre-adolescence. My attitudes, perceptions and dreams have been clear to me since my late teens. I’ve known who I was and who I wanted to be since then. Basically speaking, I was always happy with exactly who and what I was and I’ve never felt a need to change my self-expression.

“I suppose what I’m trying to say to you is that I was never flamboyant or in anyway stereotypical of modern day, gay society. I like me and I like my way of life. All I want is a simple ideal. I’ve gone out and checked out the scene and it just isn’t for me. Bars and nightclubs, parties and parades, I don’t need them and I don’t want them. To be honest, though I understand the necessity of a social environment for gay people, it’s all a little too aggressive and false for my liking.”

Kat asked, “What do you mean by aggressive and false?”

“I think everything has become so exaggerated. I know there are many types of gay people and I’m okay with that. Every person has their inclination or part of their nature that they need to express honestly, which I believe they should. I know some gay men are completely non-committal, don’t want relationships and just want to pickup and fuck other guys on a never-ending basis. I think that’s okay if that’s what someone is about or where they’re at in their psychology. Even I had my time where I enjoyed the buffet.

“I also know there are certain men born who are naturally effeminate. It’s who they are and that’s okay as well. I’m supportive and in favor of everyone expressing their true nature honestly and openly. One of the things, though, which I don’t understand, is the amount of gay men that are not effeminate and yet choose to act as if they are, simply because they’re gay.

“Why do so many men feel the need to pretend to be queens? It’s not their inclination; it’s a choice to fit into what has now become a stylized group. A natural queen is a natural queen but an unnatural queen is obvious and false. I don’t understand it and it makes no sense to me.

“I’m gay but I don’t need to be pretentious or bitchy or mincing to make the distinction. I don’t need to be limp wristed or speak with a false woman’s voice or commandeer words like fabulous, to show or say who I am. To some it’s real but I suspect that to the majority it’s not real at all. Problem is, most gays won’t stand up and point it out. They’re afraid to say anything because it’ll put them in the firing line of the gay fanatics. It’s become almost politically incorrect to point out that some gays act like they do, simply because they’re trying to fit in, instead of being true to their natures.

“Honestly Kat, to me it’s fabrication and it holds no benefit for the cause of equality. In fact, it works against the cause. We want acceptance to be who we are, not to be who we aren’t and I can’t see how expressing false mannerisms and behaviors is in any way a positive reinforcement of our individuality or our sexuality. All it shows me is insecurity and a willingness to do anything to be accepted. Being accepted is important but not when it’s at the expense of self-acceptance.

“Kat, I’m not denying anyone the right to be who they are, if it’s natural. I just don’t understand the need to pretend to be something that has nothing to do with who the person is individually. There are so many stereotypes that have been pigeonholed as being gay but just because a person is gay, doesn’t mean they have to take on every behavior to be gay. I don’t understand the need for it.”

“You know Lance, I think we’ve found something we have in common.”

“Doesn’t surprise me, Kat. There are a lot of people of same-sex orientation that are just like you and I. It angers me when I hear people say being gay is who I am because it isn’t who they are. It is a part of who they are. We have turned our sexuality into a way of life instead of making it a part of our lives. We sleep, we eat and we shit. We live, we work and we play. We’re human and we are all diverse variations of being human. Because a man’s inclination or orientation is to sleep with women, doesn’t make his heterosexuality the man he is. Does being a married man with children make a man the person he is? Does being an architect make a man the person he is? In part it does but for the most part, I’m sorry but it doesn’t. Who we are is innate and all of these other things are individual pieces in the creation of the whole individual.

“Take me for example. I’m a waiter, a writer, a gay man, a son, a friend and though every single person that knows me knows that I’m gay, with the exclusion of Dayton at the moment; I am a human being named Lance Cooper and I am many things. Yes I’m gay but being gay isn’t the person I am. It is one piece, a very influential piece but one piece nonetheless.

“Kat, I really think that many of us would like to say I’m John or Jane and not have to think about categorizing ourselves during an introduction. We know who we are, we accept who we are but not every moment of the day is about being gay. I’m happy just the way I am, living a normal, average life and I use the word normal with ease because I mean normal for me.

“I don’t know what it’s like for lesbians socially on the scene but you’re the second lesbian I know, who agrees with me and doesn’t want to be involved in a way of life that has become almost fanatical. Every time I talk to gay people, everything has to be gay and about being gay or about who is or isn’t gay. Sometimes it seems like the rest of the world and anything else doesn’t exist,” Lance said.

“I hear you and I agree with you,” Kat replied.

“So you’re another one of many of us. Tell me more,” Lance said.

“I’ll tell you about me shortly but please, continue with what you were saying, I’m very interested in hearing your perspectives. I’ve never heard this from a gay man before,” she replied.

“Oh, believe me, Kat, there are so many gay men in this world who are just like me. You’d be surprised how many gay men there are who look, sound, act and live like most straight men do and none of us are hiding our sexuality. In fact, some gay men appear more straight than some straight men do and there’s nothing false or put on about them. It’s just who we are,” Lance clarified.

“It shouldn’t surprise me but I guess it does a little,” Kat replied.

“Kat, when I was living in Altadena, I befriended my butcher because he overheard me talking on my phone to a guy I had a few encounters with. His name is Brett and when I ended the call he grinned at me and then came out to me right there as he was selling me stake. He looked like a Rugby front row forward, he had the deepest voice that sounded like he swallowed bricks for entertainment and he was the straightest, down-to-earth man I think I’ve ever met. During a rather lengthy conversation when we went out for coffee a few nights later, he told me that for him, the gay scene was like trying to read a Russian novel when he didn’t know how to speak Russian. It didn’t take long before we realized we were on the same page. Though we had that in common, we weren’t compatible overall, otherwise we’d probably be in a relationship and together now. We’re still good friends, though.

“You know, talking about this has just reminded me of something. The other day at the restaurant where I work, I overheard a conversation between two gay men. In essence, there was a problem between them because the first man wanted things to be different in their relationship, while the second man was figuratively a fanatic, a pulpit preaching gay man who wanted to perform nuclear strikes against any non gay-accepting group or individual of society. Well, that’s an exaggeration but I’m sure you know the type I’m referring to?”

“Yeah, I do,” she replied.

“Well, the point of this reference is that the first man said to the second that he just wanted to be normal. The other man’s response was almost aggressive. He said to the first man with a vehement tone that he was normal and should not be suggesting otherwise.

“I saw the look of misunderstanding on the first guys face. What the first guy was trying to say was that he didn’t want to live a life of everything being gay. He wanted a normal existence, an average existence. The second guy like many gay guys these days, took immediate exception to the word normal. They seem to think it always suggests that there is an inference that they’re not normal. They don’t understand the need of other gay people to just exist and live like the rest of the world. I understood that guy because I want a normal, average existence as well.

“When I think about these attitudes that so many gay people have, I wonder have they ever considered just how many gay men and women there are, who are not and don’t want to huddle beneath the rainbow flag, so to speak. There are rural people, suburban people and deep country people and they’re not all closeted just because they’re not in the thick of gay society. They just want to be a farmer or a cowboy or a baker and their only desire outside of their lives is a same sex relationship. They don’t want gay bars; they just want to take a partner to a bar when and if the desire takes them, without being harassed.

“Kat, I want to write and though I want the content of my writing to be gay content, it’s because I relate in those terms and not because I’m trying to individualize myself or separate myself from the rest of the world. It’s just another facet of the man I am. I live near enough to the local gay scene but I don’t enter into it anymore because it has no attraction to me. I don’t even use it to find a partner because I’m tired of trying to explain how I feel. It’s a meat market that expresses in a way that I don’t relate to.”

Kat nodded agreeably.

“You know, when I look on the Internet or when I’m reading gay literature and sometimes even watching gay films, there is this constant attitude that all gay men are the same. These things suggest all gay men are sex maniacs and that all they want to do is pick up men and fuck. I’m a fully gay man but the only man I really want to fuck is a prospective, long-term partner. Of course I still occasionally fuck for the sex but I’m not all about sex for sex sake and I haven’t been that way since I was about nineteen. We’re not all the same and that proves my point about wild stereotyping. It doesn’t mean I’m less gay or not completely gay; it just means I’m a different type.

“LGBT maybe all about inclusion but to be honest, I’ve never seen men like me represented, unless it’s in fiction, fantasy or porn and even then it’s usually as a straight man who is curious or going to be turned. The reason we’re not represented is because we refuse to wear a mask. I’m not fashion conscious, my hairstyle is neat and tidy and my lifestyle is what I want it to be. Gay people like me want to be represented truthfully and with dignity.

“The whole scene is now a multitude of sub-cultures. Once upon a time it was just a few groups that were basically variations of actives and passives and dominants and submissives. Now there are so many groups that LGBT became LGBTQ then LGBTQI and recently I heard it is now LGBTQI+. For fucks sake, what are they doing, playing Scrabble? The next thing you know, the Leather guys will want another L added to the acronym,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“What you’re saying, Lance, is exactly the way I feel about things. When I was younger, before I came out to myself and everyone else, life was normal. It changed when I came out because I thought I had to join the group. Later, I realized I didn’t want to be a part of the group specifically. I wanted my old life back again. I wanted a home, a business and a simple existence.

“The only parts of me that care about being a lesbian are the parts that want a woman to love and to have sex with, as well as a couple of lesbian friends to relate to and also my business. Other than those things, I don’t require all of my activities to be based on the fact that I’m a lesbian. Once in a blue moon I go to a lesbian bar but it’s rare. I love reading lesbian books and watching lesbian movies but I don’t want to pigeonhole myself away from the rest of the world.

“There was a change in me as I started to mature. I told you I own a bookstore. It’s just a small independent store but though it was originally a general bookstore, I’ve turned it into a lesbian and women’s bookstore. I’ve always been a huge reader and I always loved books and so a bookstore seemed a natural progression. I didn’t choose this line of business because I wanted to be a part of the lesbian community. I did it because I wanted to do it, because it related closely to who I am and because it felt like something that fit. I also wanted the literature of women to be available in a quiet and friendly setting to everyone but especially to the lesbian women with attitudes like yours and mine. I didn’t do it because I was fanatical about gay society.

“There’s also one other thing that really bothers me. There seems to be something of an expectation about how a lesbian should look. I remember being hassled by other lesbians because I dressed the way I do and looked the way I look. I don’t want to dress differently to the way I do and I certainly see no problem in wanting to wear beautiful and feminine clothing. I’m a woman, I want to present myself in the way I feel comfortable being a woman and I don’t see why some of these women think it’s acceptable to attack me because of my taste and dress sense,” Kat said.

“Kat, as a gay man I think you’re a beautiful woman who should be very happy with the way you look. I suspect that whomever those women were that made negative remarks toward you, well, they were just jealous and didn’t like that you could not only be out and proud but also, willing and capable of retaining your uniqueness. Regardless of that, the rest of what you said is fundamentally exactly the way I feel,” he replied.

“Out and proud? Lance, sometimes I feel like that statement is a contradiction in terms,” Kat said.

“Yeah, so do I, Lance replied.

“Give me your take on it.”

“Simplistically, Kat, I think out and proud means accepting the self and not being afraid or uncomfortable with admitting it to others. I guess that sounds hypocritical considering what I’ve done with Dayton but to me that’s something different altogether. Back to the point, though, the gay fanatics seem to have a different perspective of its meaning. They seem to want all of us to stand up and cry it out to the entire world while waving their flag. I’m gay, I have no problem with being gay and honestly, I don’t care what anyone else thinks of the fact that I’m gay. To quote from a film, ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.’ The point is, what it comes down to is the sort of life we each want to live. I’m a simple man, Kat. I want to live a quiet life that is as uncomplicated as I can make it and nobody is going to change that about me. Even so, I’ll always be gay and I’ll always be okay with it but I’m never going to pick up the flag.”

“Lance, I can see you’ve given the issues a lot of thought. How do you incorporate equality and marriage into all of it?”

Lance inhaled and his eyes became thoughtful before he replied, “Equality is an imperative for all people in every walk of life. I think that everyone should be considered as equal, no matter his or her race, color, creed or sexuality. The problem as I see it, is that so many groups in this world want to be considered as right and superior and also want to determine what is acceptable and what isn’t. People just don’t seem to be able to accept across the board. It would be so wonderful if everyone could just exist and be who they are while accepting everyone else’s individuality.

“For me, the marriage issue is an indirect line of sight toward a goal of equality, which I believe is a really good thing. I’m not sure it’s the right avenue to reach the destination but then again, maybe it will incur the desired outcome. On a personal level, my attitude to marriage, gay or straight, is not a positive one.”

“Explain that to me,” Kat said.

“Well, I don’t know your attitude regarding marriage and so mine may not sit well with you because I’m not really in favor of it. In fact, I suspect some gay people wouldn’t like or agree with what I think. However, I think that marriage, both the ritual and the constitution is an archaic farce created in the past. I haven’t researched the ritual for accurate knowledge and facts; however, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a long time ago, some man came up with the idea of a contract simply to get his hands on the fortune of some woman’s family money.

“Alternatively, maybe some man was so insecure that a contractual union seemed like the way to stop the loss of a partner. Sure those two alternatives are nothing more than assumption but however and whenever the concept of marriage was created, soon after it became a device to exploit. Orthodox religion saw how it could be manipulated into their dictates and sometime later; government also saw it as a device to exploit and subjugate the masses.

“Soon enough, the world was well and truly entrenched within an idea whose time, in my opinion, is long dead. However, sheep will be sheep and so like lemmings, people continued to follow a set course even to his or her own demise. Where the gay community is concerned, I see one and only one valid reason for marriage rights in this day and age and that is in relation to equality, both economic and social.

“The thing is, as I’ve already stated, gay is not who we are and this fact is proven again by the fact that other people of our orientation, follow the straight horde like everyone else, believing that marriage somehow changes their love for each other or that an apparent god smiles more brightly upon them or simply because it’s what mommy and daddy did and it was the way they were raised.

“In essence, Kat, like everything else in life, we make a choice and we do what we do. Personally, I never would marry,” he said and paused before he looked up at Kat with a huge grin on his face and added, “although, if Dayton walked in here right now and asked me, I may falter in my response,” Lance said and laughed loudly.

Kat chuckled and shook her head before saying, “You seem determined to put that unrequited noose around your neck, Lance.”

“No, I’m not. It was just a joke, Kat.”

“I know it was meant to be a joke but Lance, I think there’s a lot more to your feelings than you’re aware of.”

“You know that’s the second time you’ve inferred or suggested that I was in love with Dayton. How could that be possible? A person can’t fall in love with someone and not know it’s happened or happening.”

“I wasn’t inferring or suggesting, Lance! I don’t know how or why but where Dayton is concerned, you seem blind and oblivious. For the time being, though, let’s agree to disagree and answer me some questions.”

“You’re wrong but okay, what are the questions?”

“Lance, have you ever been in love before?”

“No.”

“Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy?”

“Sort of.”

Curiously, Kat asked, “What in hell does sort of mean?”

“I had an ongoing thing with a straight guy from school. It was during the last four years of school, it was all in secret because I hadn’t come out and because he said he was straight and so it was constant clandestine encounters. It was first time stuff, learning and experiencing and so I suppose it was a relationship of sorts. We weren’t in love or anything like that, it was just two young guys fumbling through the beginnings of finding themselves.”

Kat asked, “Was that all?”

“No. I had another friend. Still do actually. His name is Victor but he still resides in Seattle. I guess you could say that while being the best of friends, after I finished school, we also became constant fuck buddies.”

Kat queried, “Other than that?”

“Lots of sex with random guys when I was a teenager but nothing the likes of what you’re talking about.”

“Lance, haven’t you ever felt something for a man that would make you want to give up everything and everyone just for him?”

“No,” Lance replied.

“You’re right, Lance, you’ve never been in love.”

“So?”

“So I wonder if you would know love if it walked up and bit you on the ass?”

“I’m sure I would if it happened.”

“What if it already has?”

“Kat, enough with your deluded Dayton scenario.”

“Fine but Lance, I have a feeling we’ll be discussing this again. However, there’s something else I need to tell you that you need to know.”

“What’s that?”

“Alisha is my girlfriend.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised, at least now that you’ve come out to me. I did wonder about her inclinations when we met but I didn’t pick you as a lesbian and so I didn’t connect the two of you as more than unusual friends,” Lance said.

Kat questioned, “Unusual?”

“Please don’t be offended, Kat. It’s just that, well, you and Alisha seem an unlikely fit, even as friends. I mean you’re an incredibly attractive woman with a great body but you’re also smart, confident and a very easy to like person. Alisha on the other hand has that whole created persona going on and at the same time, she’s curt, disinterested and is nothing like you in any way at all. To be honest, earlier in this conversation when you came out to me, I was thinking about someone who I think would be a great match for you.”

Kat grinned and said dubiously, “Who would that be?”

“You know how I said you were the second lesbian I knew who thought the way I do?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I was talking about a good friend of mine. Her name is Dimity and I just know the two of you would connect in an instant and also get on like a house on fire,” Lance said.

“Well maybe you can introduce us if things fall apart with Alisha but right now, I’m really trying to make this work. I mean I know what Alisha can be like at times but when we’re together alone, we get on so well and everything seems right. I know we’re very different but… Oh, I don’t know. Look Lance, I guess what you see in Alisha, I can see as well. Alisha’s used to hanging around with young lesbians from the scene and so she’s still getting used to being with an older woman who isn’t interested in all the flag waving.”

“Older woman? You’re only twenty-six, Kat. Anyway, I understand what you mean but I guess my silence with Dayton is probably causing a problem for the two of you to be yourselves. I promise I’ll get all of this sorted out soon.”

“I can handle Alisha so don’t rush things but I would appreciate it, sooner rather than later.”

“It’ll be sooner. You have my word, Kat.”

“I think it’ll be best for everyone involved, Lance.”

“So do I.”

“In reference to your last point, yes, I know I’m only twenty-six but my days of gay scene raging are over, by choice. Alisha is still coming to terms with the fact that there are other types of gay people beside those who need to be going to bars, picking up, fucking, dancing and taking drugs.”

“Now that I do understand, Kat.”

“So Lance, if I may ask, when do you think you’re going to tell Dayton?”

“It’s been two weeks Kat and it’s plaguing me. I need him to know about that part of me. He accepts every little quirk and insanity of the man I am and something tells me he’ll accept my sexuality as well. It really is rather inane because I trust him and I believe he’ll accept it but I’m not certain if he’ll accept that I didn’t tell him.

“I worry he may think I made an assumption he’d be homophobic, which I didn’t. It was more a fear of the slightest chance I’d lose someone who has become so important to me. I’m sure everything will be okay but still I’ve allowed it to go this far. Anyway, I guess as I’ve already said, I’m waiting for that so-called right moment but it’s more about the next time he and I are settled together and not going to be interrupted.”

“Well, give me a nod if I’m in the way and I’ll leave the two of you alone, if we’re together when the time comes.”

“Normally I wouldn’t care if you were there but I’m not sure of what his reaction will be and so, if he’s alone with me, I think he’ll feel freer to be honest and open.”

“Yeah, I understand and I agree. Is it weighing heavily on you if he doesn’t react well?”

“I’ll hate it if he doesn’t or if it turns nasty and yeah, it may bother me a little but I’ll deal with it if I have to,” Lance replied.

“No offence Lance but if he does disappoint, you won’t just be a little bothered; you’ll be devastated. I’ve been watching you for a week and whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve fallen hook, line and sinker for Dayton.”

“I think that’s a bit of a stretch,” Lance said.

“The truth is easily stretched, Lance. Either you’re blind or you’re a master at stretching.”

“Had any good pussy lately,” Lance said.

“Lance, do you really believe such a lame remark will distract me? You’re avoiding the issue and do you know what I call that? I call it what it is.”

Lance asked, “And what would that be?”

“Avoidance, you dick.”

“Are we done here?”

“You are dismissed, Mister Cooper. Now get back to class,” Kat said and snickered.

“Fuck you, Kat.”

“Not if the angels came down from heaven and hearkened me to bed you,” Kat shot back.

“Excuse me while I wipe the sweat from my brow,” Lance said with extreme animation.

“Smartass,” Kat replied.

“So what have you got planned for the rest of the day, Kat?”

“I was thinking as it was my first free day here, I might go out onto the beach. I’ve been dying to get out there, take a swim in the ocean and lay on the sand beneath the sun. What about you? Some silent cooing over Dayton?”

“Actually, you bitch, I was thinking about trying to do some more writing but as your nasty mouth has now given me good reason to bother and irritate you for the rest of your life, I think I’ll join you on the beach and talk your ear off until sundown,” he replied.

“Well, at least until your Greek god appears, which is when I’ll become non-existent if not completely invisible but yeah, okay, lets go get some rays, Lance.”

“You’re on,” he replied.

To be continued...

Posted: 06/09/17