Chapter 1

The Return.

 

Beneath a warm, spring, afternoon sky, a taxi pulled over to the kerb of a suburban street. After a couple of minutes of chatting and laughing with the driver, a young but very handsome man alighted the vehicle and then leaned back down to the window and said, “Could you open the trunk so I can get my bags?”

 

The driver pulled a lever on the underside of the dash and a distinct clunking sound occurred, as the lock at the rear of the car released. He opened his door and as he exited the vehicle and stood up, he looked at the young man and said, “You’re forgetting where you are, mate. We call it a boot down here, not a trunk, remember?”

 

The driver chuckled as he walked behind the car and then unloaded the two suitcases. He placed them on the road and then closed the boot firmly to be certain the latch caught. He concluded with the all too familiar, “Have a good day,” before the young man thanked him and returned the expression of goodwill. As the older man returned to the vehicle, the younger man stepped up over the kerb and put his bags down.

 

He stood on the grass beside the road. He smiled as he considered he needed to adjust certain habits now that he was here. People were different all over the world. They thought differently, their humour was different and even though many spoke the same language, they had different names for the same thing. He looked down at the grass beneath his feet. Australians referred to the land between the footpath and the kerb as the nature strip, while Americans referred to it as the verge. He thought he would have to be conscious of the things he said, now that he had returned to this city; a location he finally knew was where he needed to be.

 

He took no notice as the taxi drove away. He stared at an unusual looking house. It was a wooden house, its façade a dark, dirty graphite colour. He had never seen a house quite like it. He thought it was small yet quaint and an interesting house with unique character.

 

The young man’s thoughts unexpectedly realigned and he wondered how the next few minutes would unfold. With that simple thought running through his mind, his expression changed to one of uncertainty and concern. A sense of apprehension filled him but he knew there was no turning back now. Apart from anything, there was nowhere else he wanted to be.

 

Inside the house, Aaron Carter was sitting on his lounge. For a while he had been watching a documentary about wombats but when it finished, he turned off the television. He had surfed the channels with the remote control but there was nothing that caught his attention. Not a single program could gain his interest. At the time he felt restless and desired something to consume his mind.

 

Aaron lived alone in this pleasant, old style, two-bedroom cottage, which he had happened upon at the right time and for a reasonable rent. He had moved directly out of the family home and into this out of the way little sanctuary, approximately three years previous. It was just on the outskirts of the city, in a northern area that still maintained a slightly regional appearance.

 

Twenty-three and attractive, Aaron had brown hair and brown eyes. He was a fit, young man with a thickset torso and large, strong limbs. He was not a man who frequented the gym. He thought that due to his current physical condition and age, he had little need. Generations of large bodied men had been an influential factor throughout his family, endorsing a predisposition to specific chromosomes, giving him a genetic advantage toward a defined and muscular, male physique, the type that many men had to work for. The height gene may well have by-passed him but still his body was big and solid.

 

Following the documentary, for a while he had been reading some obscure, erotic novel but in the last twenty minutes, he was struggling to focus on anything other than a desire for actual sex. His thick and heavy member had been in a constant state of flux and now his growing erection was making him even more restless.

 

A single, gay man, he was verging on standing up, leaving the house and heading off to a gay beat for some hot, anonymous action. In his mind this was all about physical needs and nothing more. The idea of blowing a relieving load made his desire even greater. The more his hunger grew, the more he imagined another man in his mouth. He also thought that if he were lucky, he might even find a fuck that was acceptable and available.

 

This natural feeling of lustful need was a regular hunger within, however, Aaron had never considered why the hunger was always ravenous. At no point had he posed the question of why his feeling of emptiness was never satisfied. He therefore had not come to a realisation that his choice of fast food was incapable of sating his true appetite.

 

Aaron had turned his back on the man he was. His nature was that of an emotional guy who wanted love and a relationship, however, he had rejected the possibility because of an event in his past. It was not as if he had made a conscious choice to deny what he really wanted. Sometimes people found themselves in the strangest of positions. Sometimes what others would think of as an irrational decision was nothing more than an unreasoned, subconscious reaction.

 

What now seemed like a very long time ago, Aaron had fallen head over heels in love. The truth of that love was never spoken and was denied the ability to bathe in life. Now, though, after years had passed, there was only one man that Aaron really wanted. He had been in love with that man for well over ten years but Aaron believed he could never have him.

 

Subconsciously and without drawing on his natural human instinct to analyse his actions, he turned to anonymous faces for sexual relief while avoiding any real depth of connection with another man. He had never had a boyfriend or a relationship and it was all because of a bad case of unrequited love.

 

Aaron was happy to sloth on the thick cushions of his lounge while doing nothing. Earlier he had decided this was to be a lazy Saturday. He did not really feel like going out but it was not a hard decision when sex came into the equation. His lively, male appendage always won the debate, removing any chance of indecisiveness. He slid a hand into his briefs and held his semi-hard erection and then he shook his head with agreeable resignation.

 

“You win again, mate,” he said, as he pulled the seam away and looked upon his thickening friend that he had endearingly named Pointer.

 

Confirming to Pointer that it was getting its way as usual, Aaron rose to his feet and began to walk toward his bedroom. All he was wearing was dark blue, hipster briefs with red seams. Getting dressed was yet another thing he did not really feel like doing but unfortunately, clothes were essential before exiting into the outside world.

 

Aaron had only taken two steps when there was a quiet tap on his front door. He turned his head with surprise and looked in the direction of the sound but with little thought to his lack of apparel; Aaron turned around and moved to discover who was outside his door.

 

As Aaron pulled the door open he froze like dry ice to the spot. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were wide with a look that could only be described as stunned. He was genuinely speechless, as he looked upon his oldest friend, a man he had not seen in nearly five years.

 

Logan Carmichael was also twenty-three and he was the only man that Aaron wanted. They had grown up together, gone to school together and been the very best of friends. They had even left school together at seventeen but while Aaron had simply gotten a job and begun a standard life like millions of other guys, Logan had worked for a year and then taken off overseas for three months. The problem was he had not come back.

 

Logan worked his way around the world in drinking establishments, occasionally tending bar, sometimes waiting tables or even collecting glasses. It was what he knew and so it was what he did to fund his life and travels. Apart from certain long held dreams, Logan had no itinerary or specific course, other than spontaneous desires of visiting some particular location on the planet. He had moved from country to country or continent to continent as his mood took him or whenever his visa required. He had kept in touch by snail mail for a while but it stopped abruptly and Aaron had not received even a postcard in two years. Logan had simply dropped off his radar.

 

An exceptionally good-looking guy, Logan had fair hair, blue eyes, olive skin and he was about an inch taller than Aaron at five-foot-eleven. He was slim but ripped, curved in all the right places and his skin was young, smooth and very tanned, giving that impression of the buffed and polished surface of a brand new car. He could have been mistaken for a surfer or a swimmer but he was neither and simply looked after his body in every way, regardless of his penchant for wild overindulgences. He tried to make his appearance sexually attractive at all times. In this task he was successful but he also had little need to try.

 

Logan had been having sex with women relentlessly since he turned fifteen. He was a pussy whore of the highest order and would sell his soul to get inside as many women as possible. It would have been an impossible task, even for Logan, to put a number on the amount of women he had ploughed and feasted upon during the last eight years.

 

Prior to leaving Australia, Logan had been a young man who had no interest or inclination to get involved in a relationship. He had been unwilling to allow feelings, emotions or commitment, the ability to interfere with his compulsion to have sex as much as possible, as often as possible and with as many different women as possible, for what he had imagined would be for the rest of his life. At the time, anything deeper had unsettled him and so he had told himself it was a time-wasting exercise.

 

Aaron’s sexuality had been hidden and so Logan had been oblivious to the fact that Aaron had fantasised about him since he was ten. On the other hand, Aaron had always believed Logan was a no-go zone. Aaron thought it was a no-brainer because Logan had often said he could not understand how any guy would not want to eat and fuck pussy all the time. Often he would also say he could not understand how a guy could choose cock and arse over snatch and tits.

 

“So are you going to stand there looking at me like a stunned mullet super glued to a rock or do you plan on saying G’day, inviting me in and giving your old mate a hug?”

 

Aaron blinked and then his mouth closed before it fell open again. Moments later with a broken and unformed sentence, he nodded his head and sort of ushered Logan through the door with a wave of the hand, as he stammered, “yes, fuck, come, um and Logan.”

 

As Logan stepped through the doorway and threw his arms around Aaron in a true embrace for a friend, he asked, “Did someone hit you in the head with a beam of four-by-two and leave you a brainless vegetable or are you just shocked to see me?”

 

Incomprehensibly, Aaron said, “No, I um, you, um, I mean, what the fuck?”

 

“You know, Aaron, it’s just as well I’ve been all over this world and gotten a good taste of different languages because I actually understood what you just said to me,” Logan said farcically, as he pulled away and looked at Aaron with a bemused grin.

 

Aaron finally said with a clear voice and an obvious intonation, which suggested he was gobsmacked, “Logan?”

 

“You know, you may not be able to speak very well but that last attempt at my name was at least literate,” Logan said while smiling.

 

“Fuck you, man. Where the fuck have you been and why did you stop writing to me and how dare you show up here like everything should be fine, after not contacting me for two years? You arsehole!”

 

Believing like he always had that Aaron would be there for him and forgive him no matter what happened, Logan asked, “Everything is perfectly fine between us, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, yes, I mean, no, I mean, I guess, in a way but that isn’t the point. Don’t just think you can saunter back into my life after cutting me out of yours and expect me to just hug you and tell you it’s fucking awesome to see you.”

 

A huge smile formed on Logan’s face because now he knew that Aaron thought it was fucking awesome to see him. He stepped back up to Aaron and pulled him into his arms and held him tight.

 

“I love you, mate.  It’s so good to see you again. I’ve missed you so much and I’ve missed that smiling face of yours,” he said.

 

Aaron’s smile exploded across his face, as his chin rested on Logan’s shoulder. His arms tightened around Logan automatically, even though he was shocked that Logan had said he loved him. A moment later, something occurred to Aaron and he cut his following words off mid-sentence when saying, “I love you too and I’ve missed you too and…”

 

Aaron pushed away from their embrace. His eyes showed the cogs of his mind were spinning as he glared at Logan.

 

“Hang on a minute. Don’t you fucking dare use our friendship to manipulate me into letting you off the hook,” he said and Logan looked at him deceitfully, a little like a puppy that knew it was in trouble.

 

“I’m sorry, Aaron. I guess I should leave,” Logan said deceptively and then stepped toward the door.

 

“Oh no you don’t! You’re not getting out of here that easily. You owe me a proper apology and an explanation and a journal-like account of what you’ve been up to for the past two years. I’m not letting you out of my sight or my home until I’m satisfied,” Aaron said.

 

Logan grinned again because he had gotten what he wanted and he knew that Aaron knew he had let him off the hook, just like he always did. Logan noticed that even though Aaron was trying to be angry with him, his soft gaze from his brown eyes showed a loving friend and at the same time, the happy if bemused smile he was trying to hide, was about as covert as the Persians marching on Sparta. Logan wondered as he considered these reactions, if what had been on his mind was in some small way being confirmed.

 

“Well I certainly hope I can satisfy you,” Logan said ambiguously, “but if I’m expected to give that much detail or put in that much effort, I might have to stay here with you for a while.”

 

“Logan, you know you can stay with me if you want to. I’m certain you didn’t want to stay with your mother and I guess you’re probably bunking with some friend. That is, unless you’ve been back for a while and didn’t bother to contact me until now and you already have somewhere to live. Anyway, you know you’re welcome to stay with me or even move in if you want to, mate,” Aaron said unflinchingly.

 

“I’m all yours, mate. So where am I going to bed down?”

 

“I’ve got a second bedroom but I use it as a study or office. It doesn’t have a bed but you can sleep on the floor. If you do need to move in, I can shift things around later and we can get you a bed and some furniture. For the time being, you could also sleep on the couch but it isn’t real comfortable for sleeping. I’ve slept on it before and I always wake up with a crick in my neck. Alternatively, you can sleep in my bed with me but I don’t know if that’s something you’d want to do?”

 

Logan questioned in semi-jest, this time with an ambiguous grin, “Why? You’re not going to try anything, are you? Unless you give great head and want to blow me?”

 

Aaron’s face was like granite and he did not react or blink. He just stared at Logan, processed his words and came up with what he thought was the most suitable response.

 

“Even if I did, I doubt I’d want something so well used in my mouth. Fuck, Logan, it’d probably fall off and I’d choke on it,” he said and then laughed.

 

“Well you could certainly choke on a slab this size,” Logan replied with an egotistical smirk.

 

Sarcastically, Aaron replied, “Why? Have you had work done to make it big?”

 

“Fuck you, Aaron.”

 

“You wish but then you’re addicted to fucking full stop. Let’s face it, you’d probably fuck anything with a hole, if I remember correctly,” Aaron said.

 

“Well I like the odd bit of sex,” Logan shot back.

 

“The only odd thing about it is the incalculable number of recipients, Logan.”

 

“Jealousy’s a curse.” Logan replied.

 

Feeling a desperate need to change the subject away from sex and also the idea of Logan’s cock in his mouth, Aaron said, “I do okay. Anyway, I’m not a woman so I don’t suppose there’s anything to worry about with you in my bed. So, do you want a drink or something to eat?”

 

“Food and drink sounds great but don’t think I’m inept enough not to have noticed your far from discreet change of subject. We’ll return to your sex life later, whether you like it or not. If I have to spill my guts then so do you. One way or another, you and sex are on the menu,” Logan said, this time with extreme ambiguity, which was followed with a long, licking stroke of his tongue between his lips.

 

Aaron’s granite façade faltered and an obvious uncomfortable expression took hold momentarily, before he wiped it away hurriedly. It was not fast enough though and Logan was well aware of the unsettled look.

 

“Aaron, I’ve partied and fucked and drank like a fish for an excessive amount of years so if you don’t mind, I don’t want alcohol. A million or so cups of coffee are called for and as for food; anything you want to offer me would be great. However, first I need to go back out onto the front porch and bring in my luggage and put it in your bedroom, as that’s where I’ll be sleeping.”

 

Aaron had already started toward the kitchen and he ground to a halt and swung around in shock. With another stunned expression he asked, “Your luggage is on my porch?”

 

“Yeah but there isn’t that much,” Logan said, grinning again.

 

“Wipe that smartarse look off your face. You know exactly what I mean. When did you arrive in Sydney?”

 

“Two plus hours ago,” Logan said with another smirk, now that the truth was out.

 

“You fucking cock,” Aaron said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes incredulously.

 

What Logan said next was true, however, with a desire to further his own interests, he gilded his remark with excessive flattery and said, “Well mate, you were right. I couldn’t go home and stay with that blood-freezing bitch from hell. You were also right that I’d want to stay with a mate but I needed more than just a mate. I needed the love and support of my best friend, someone who would care about me and be there for me and so of course…”

 

“Enough,” Aaron said, abruptly cutting Logan off, “spare me your arse-licking bullshit. You specifically hid your bags out of sight and also the fact that you had only just arrived, all while hoping I would ask you to stay with me so you didn’t have to ask if I’d let you. You knew full well that I’d offer and that then you wouldn’t feel so guilty.”

 

It was feigned irritation on Aaron’s part because he was truly happy that Logan had come straight to him.

 

“Well, Ary, there’s no one else I’d want to stay with.”

 

“Don’t you Ary me. We both know that name fell out of use when we were ten,” Aaron said but Logan was very aware of the softening in Aaron’s eyes when he called him Ary. “Anyway, I understand why you didn’t want to stay with your mother but how did you locate me?”

 

“I called your mum from the airport before I got in the cab. I told her I was calling from Mauritius so she wouldn’t let you know I was here. I told her I wanted your address to send you a postcard. She gave it to me instantly and she also gave me your mobile and home phone numbers. She’s still as sweet as ever and she still loves me.”

 

“She’s obviously more senile than I thought and then of course there’s the fact she never knew what a self-absorbed and selfish son of a bitch you are,” Aaron said jokingly with a serious expression.

 

“Don’t be jealous, Ary, your mum only loves me a little bit more than she loves you.”

 

“Fuckoff, Logan,” he said bemused, “now go and get your bags. My bedroom is down that hallway. It’s the one on the left. My study is the door to the right and the bathroom and toilet is the door at the end in between. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done, which is through there,” he said and then turned and walked away.

 

With an easy smile Logan watched Aaron until he disappeared through the doorway. He then turned and went out to retrieve his bags. As he was picking them up, Logan could not help but smile even more, as he realised how easy it was to talk to Aaron. The friendship was still there despite what he had done and all the easy feelings and the closeness and warmth were still there too. He knew during the flight back to Australia he had been excited to see Aaron, however, he had not expected just how good it would make him feel.

 

Aaron walked into the kitchen, immediately stepped out of sight of the doorway and he stopped. His back fell against the wall and he inhaled deeply. The expression on his face was one of shock and apprehension. He could feel it all again. The tightness in his chest was back, the racing heartbeat, the rising temperature and the moistness of sweat on his forehead and neck. He reached down to Pointer and he squeezed it, a natural reaction to the thickening of his cock.

 

“No acting up. I know he’s gorgeous and he has a body to die for and that I’m in love with him but you can’t force this. He’s straight and he isn’t going to be interested. Don’t you go getting hard on me every time he looks at me,” Aaron whispered, while wishing he had put on some shorts before opening the door.

 

Aaron’s wish was an enforced irony because even though all he had to do was walk into his bedroom and don the additional piece of clothing, an old and familiar voice in his head was telling him to stay near-naked, get hard and let Logan know how he felt. It would be easier than saying the words he wanted to say.

 

Aaron let go of Pointer and he lifted both of his hands to his face and covered it. He wanted to scream and release all the tension, which had already built up in the few minutes since Logan had arrived. He could hear and feel the thud of his heart in his chest, his breathing was slightly laboured and despite the passage of time, he knew he was still head over heels in love with Logan.

 

With a roll of his eyes Aaron said, “God damn it. You’re twenty-three. When are you going to grow up and get over this guy?”

 

Walking back into the house, Logan called out, “Did you say something?”

 

“No. Just talking to myself,” Aaron called back.

 

“They say that’s the first sign of madness,” Logan replied with a laugh.

 

Aaron made no attempt to reply but he sighed heavily, as he wondered how he was going to deal with this situation. He felt angry with himself for offering Logan the option of sleeping in his bed. He knew he had made the offer because he would do anything for Logan but he also knew he had suggested it based on one weak moment of desire.

 

As Aaron prepared to brew some coffee, he also wondered what he would prepare for them to eat. He opened the freezer, the fridge and cupboards but his mind was still not reasoning clearly and he was just staring into the spaces and making no choice at all.

 

Logan carried his bags into the house. He put his carry bag in the bedroom and the suitcases in the study and then looked around Aaron’s bedroom. He was trying to see anything that could confirm for him what had been a curiosity for the last two years. There was nothing; however, the only thing he did see that caught his eye was a photo of the two of them together, their arms around each other and looking very happy, comfortable and laughing.

 

Logan walked over to the bedside table and picked up the photo. The thought crossed his mind, a curiosity really, about a man of twenty-three, keeping a photo of an embrace between two men, beside and angled toward his bed. There was an easy assumption but he dismissed it, knowing he could not reject the image as anything less than proof of their deep friendship. Logan sat down on the bed and with the photo in his hand and resting it on his lap, he stared at their younger faces and allowed swift though sweeping memories, to clarify how he had come to be in this position.

 

To be continued...