Chapter 1

 

A hush of both anticipation and apprehension, had settled amongst the spectators around the suburban football field. With sixteen seconds left on the clock, only a touchdown could change an outcome, which had appeared inevitable for the entire final quarter. The referee had called timeout but soon after, both the offence and the defense had dispersed from their respective team’s huddle and were positioned and ready for the final play.

 

“Hut!”

 

The ball came up and was destined for the hands of Jack, the quarterback. He had to maintain possession for seconds longer than he wanted to. He had to give Dozer time to debilitate some of the defense and get into the clear. This was not a standard play and Dozer was not the type to win games or score touchdowns. He was a guard, a back breaker and a wall of muscle that could knock just about anyone on their ass.

 

This play was unusual because their opponents would not be expecting Dozer to abandon his position. He hit one guy hard and then another and still another. Then, unexpectedly, he was moving down the field at pace.

 

Suddenly aware, two opponents from the defense backline came at him diagonally from the left and right. They were almost on top of him as their respective lines of approach merged toward him. Dozer inhaled, his torso balled slightly to make his hit effective. Every muscle contracted and stiffened while pushing his body beyond its limits; his thighs propelling him fast and heavy and hard.

 

Dozer imagined splitting the men apart and then he saw the moment of fear. It filled the eyes of the guy that was approaching on his right. The guy was afraid, his apprehension born from Dozer’s reputation for obliterating his opponents. Instantly Dozer knew that he would annihilate the cautious one and that his power and strength combined with his speed, would have to deflect the other one off and away from him. Somehow he knew. His instincts told him he was about to break their defense.

 

The opposition was crashing toward Jack. His teammates were succeeding in keeping him in the clear so far. It was all happening so quickly and yet it seemed as if it were taking an eternity. One of the defense players suddenly broke the lines and was coming like a freight train toward the quarterback. Jack moved swiftly and zigzagged but it was not going to be enough. Just as it looked like it was all about to be over, the freight train was slammed from the side hard and he hit the turf just as hard. James, a wide receiver, had seen the defensive break. With astonishing speed he had come out of nowhere, colliding with the enemy, a desperate effort to keep the game alive.

 

Clear again, Jack sprinted to the left where there was a little more space and then he looked for Dozer’s position, instinctively calculated the distance and then released the ball high into the air. There was a split second before his arm drew back, his resentment getting the better of him. He added to the power and velocity of the balls launch.

 

“Fuck the game and the team. You’ll be the one everybody blames for losing the final,” Jack thought.

 

Dozer hit both of his opponents at the same time. They looked like two pins at the end of a bowling alley, catapulted and flung into the air. He was through. Dozer’s head turned and looked back and up. There was no time to sight Jack. He had to anticipate that the ball would be in the air and there it was, hurtling toward the line. It was spinning fast and it was straight like a bullet and it was already on the descent. It was higher than he wanted and faster than he was and it was also going to drop out of play.

 

Time was running out and Dozer knew he had to do something extraordinary. His thighs were burning but he pushed them harder and with his last few steps he launched his body into the air, his arms up and outstretched. He pierced the air like an arrow, thrusting his huge and heavy body well over four feet off the ground, crossing the line mid flight. He had cut off the angle of the ball’s descent and as if he had glue on his fingertips, he pulled the ball into his hands and against his chest, then slammed down hard onto the ground. The referee’s fulltime whistle sounded.

 

The roar of the spectator’s astonishment filled the air. Simultaneously, exultant accolades and victorious cries from his teammates blanketed the field. It was pandemonium but all Dozer could see was stars in the midst of blackness. Despite his helmet, his head had impacted hard as it collided with the ground and he was dazed.

 

Dozer could hear the yelling and he knew he had done what needed to be done. He had lived up to his exorbitant expectations of himself and as the black and the stars began to fade and the oh so blue sky above him began to take his focus, hands began dragging him to his feet and then he was raised high up on shoulders. They had won the season final and the trophy was theirs. Not that he really gave a damn about some cheap cup.

 

When the players were finally walking from the ground toward the showers, Dozer made his way toward Jack. It took some time to get to him because he could not stop the incessant handshakes, pats on the back and hugs from every other member of his team. Dozer had always been considered as someone special to have on the team and he had always been held in high esteem but what he had done on this day had been simply exceptional. Their respect for his ability and his mindset had risen to new heights. Finally they all began to give him some space and he drew alongside Jack, the only teammate that had not come near him. Dozer extended his arm for a congratulatory handshake.

 

“Jack, man, your bullet of a pass won the game for us,” Dozer said.

 

“Thanks Rawlins but we both know that’s bullshit. I made it harder for you than it had to be and what you did was nothing short of outstanding. You won that game for us, not me,” Jack replied, though he resented saying it.

 

“It was a team effort and we both did what was required,” Dozer said with humility, as he looked at the quarterback appraisingly.

 

“Rawlins, you’re the man, you’re the Dozer and you saved the day,” Jack said spuriously, regardless of how true his words actually were. He then slapped Dozer on the back dismissively and walked away, leaving him trailing behind with a disappointed expression on his face.

 

Jack was still seething, not only because Dozer had suggested the alternate play or because the team had gone along with it but because despite winning the final game, his own play had been rejected. Additionally, regardless of his attempt to make it impossible, Dozer had somehow managed to still get his hands on the ball and score the winning touchdown.

 

The name, Dozer, of course was just a nickname. His real name was actually Nick Rawlins. He had been given the nickname Bulldozer a long time ago; at least it seemed that way after four years on the team. It was shortened to Bull or Bully but most often to Dozer. He rarely heard his real name from any of his teammates. Only Jack referred to him differently.

 

This season, Nick had begun to hope the individual use of his last name by Jack, perhaps represented a hidden connection, one that separated Jack from the rest of the guys on the team. He understood that the nicknames represented a form of camaraderie and respect between the guys. He also knew that his was a reflection of his power and strength on field, however, what Nick did not realize was that Jack did not share the rest of the team’s high opinion of him. Jack’s use of his surname as an alternative was meant to be dismissive and detached.

 

Nick ambled slowly into the change rooms and the noise of the hoots, screams and laughter was near deafening. He heard James shout out, “Dozer is a fucking legend” and it brought a smile to his face. He glanced around and nodded as a few more cheers and hails of his actions came his way. Most of the guys were already naked and some of them were already in the showers. He looked for Jack but a group of guys surrounded him and Nick could not really see him.

 

Eric, a big and beefy and very good-looking guy walked up to Nick wearing only his jockstrap. He wanted to congratulate Nick yet again. Nick watched as he approached him, Eric’s deeply tanned and beautifully muscular physique, pumped up even larger because of the workout it had undergone during the tough and very physical game.

 

An incredible man, Eric and his near naked body induced a hard and desirous swallow from Nick. Eric wrapped his arms around Nick, pulling him against him firmly and then lifted him off the ground. In itself this act was surprising considering Nick’s weight and size, except that Eric was almost as big.

 

Nick’s eyes flashed around the locker room at the rest of the team. His face flushed slightly as an unwarranted, self-conscious trepidation filled him. It was ironic he felt the way he did because being in Eric’s arms was one of Nick’s greatest desires.

 

Eric said, “Dozer, what a great play. Where did you come up with the idea for something like that? Maybe we should make you the play maker and captain?”

 

Whether he truly believed what he had said or not, Eric’s words were said in his excitement of their win and then he lowered Nick back down to the floor, his beaming smile making him even more attractive.

 

Nick glanced in Jack’s direction. He saw Jack lean between the guys surrounding him, his eyes searching to see who made the remark, his expression an unhappy one. Nick looked back to Eric.

 

“No man, it was just that we had to do something desperate. I’m amazed it even came off. Jack is our captain and he does a great job. I wouldn’t want that responsibility for anything,” he replied.

 

Eric smiled at Nick. He wondered if it was false modesty or actual humility. He really liked Nick but he simply could not get a read on him because Nick was so closed off and withdrawn from everyone. He gave Nick a gentle tap on his arm and then with a friendly smile he turned and walked away.

 

As Nick watched Eric walk toward his locker, he thought to himself that of all the guys on the team, none of them held a candle to Eric. He thought he was the most attractive man he had ever seen in his life. In Nick’s mind Eric was a perfect man physically but that opinion was enhanced because Nick felt Eric was a truly nice guy.

 

This was not a professional league and it certainly was not a school or college league. These were all men, average men, who played organized, amateur football on the weekends. Most of them only knew each other as teammates and only a few were friends away from the game. Nick played because he enjoyed the game but more so because it was a body pounding, full contact sport. It gave him an outlet while also satisfying a need to push himself to his limits.

 

Sitting back on the bench in front of his locker, Nick’s hand rubbed at the arm he had landed on. It was badly bruised and was hurting like a motherfucker but he knew it would be all right. He looked around at the guys and he knew that they would all be heading out for drinks to celebrate their victory but he also knew he was not going to be there with them. He did not know any of them closely and they certainly did not know him. He felt his life was a world away from theirs.

 

Removing his gear, Nick dragged off his boots and then slowly stripped off the rest of his uniform. Several guys looked at him as they always did. It was a simple matter of both amazement and envy.

 

Nick was a mountain of a man. Not a man who had created his body by choice in a gym but a naturally big and powerful man. He was six foot four and two hundred and thirty pounds of hugely framed muscle and a damned hot looking man as well. However, Nick was a rare form of innocence because of the unusual life he had been forced to live. As a consequence of his past, he was blind to the opinions others held of him and also of the meaning behind many of the looks he received. In fact, Nick was ignorant of many things that most people knew and took for granted. It was not that he lacked intelligence; it was because his past circumstances had created a lack of experience. He truly was an unusual man.

 

Walking into the showers, Nick crossed to the last and most distant showerhead, as was his way. He stood more or less alone and in his own world, his eyes closed as he let the steaming hot water veil him. While it massaged his impressive and massive body, for a good three minutes he stood in an innocuous trance-like state, until finally he noticed the diffusion of sound. His eyes opened and he glanced around quickly. Only a few guys were still in the showers and he could tell from the lack of voices outside, many of the guys had already left for the bar where they were all going to meet.

 

Nick took an extended look at Eric, as his delicious, wet body, all six foot two of it, turned and swirled beneath the water. Nick’s eyes were recording and taking in every shape and curve of a truly eye catching man’s body but almost immediately, he thought of Eric’s wife. He had met her some years ago and he thought Michelle was a wonderful woman. He felt a strange and unnecessary guilt, as if he were taking part in an act of adultery, just for admiring and desiring Eric sexually. Even with all his huge muscle, Eric still managed to glide lightly in his movements. Eric was so hot and Nick often imagined he would be the perfect lover. He turned his gaze away from Eric almost instantly.

 

Reaching for the soap, Nick washed his body while not really taking much notice of anything else. He heard what he thought were the last few guys leaving the showers and then he immersed his head centrally beneath the showering rain of hot water. It felt good as it soothed him and somehow made him feel like he was alone and in a comfortable and perfect world. He shook his head minutes later and brought himself back to reality and then he turned around to see Jack opposite him with his back to him.

 

Jack was model-like in almost every way. He had that sleek but powerfully defined body of a quarterback and he really looked incredible. He was six foot tall with golden, light brown hair, which he had streaked with blonde to highlight and soften his already eye-catching face. His body was tanned to a golden brown all over and the cut of his physique was statuesque. He also had not a hair on his body and though the guys occasionally ribbed him about his appearance, they all were fully aware of just how good-looking he was. Not that any of them would have said it out loud.

 

Though this team was fundamentally a group of average guys, where physical appearances were concerned, five of them were far from average. Nick and Eric were undoubtedly the two best-looking white guys on the team. There were also James and Tyler, two black guys and then of course there was Jack. While Nick was exceptionally hot with a ruggedly masculine yet stunning appearance, Eric was a handsome and sexy hunk of beef. James was incredible and looked like a god for athletes to pray to, while Tyler could have easily been mistaken for a middleweight boxer with a body to figuratively die for. These four men were beyond handsome and then there was Jack, whom despite his intense demeanor, was the type referred to as a pretty boy.

 

As Jack stood washing his body he was grinning to himself. He had waited longer than normal to enter the showers and he had chosen specifically to use the showerhead opposite Nick. He believed with every arrogant cell of his being, if he turned around at that moment, Nick would be looking at him. More and more he was beginning to think that the team’s resident giant was a freak and a fag who wanted to do the dirty with the quarterback. He had always hated the way almost the entire team thought that Nick was something special.

 

“If anyone on this team is special, it’s me,” he thought.

 

With no one else around Jack thought he could put it to the test and find out for certain. Then he could make everyone see that Nick was just a perverted freak and nothing special at all. Maybe they’d get rid of him and then he could once again be recognized as the star he believed he was, before the arrival of the deviant behind him.

 

Staring at the naked, male body, at that moment all Nick could think about was wrapping his body around him. Jack unexpectedly turned around and caught Nick looking at him. Jack’s face transformed from stolid to a smile and then to realization. His hand went down to his cock and he stroked it with a soapy hand, lathering and stroking sensually. He watched as Nick’s eyes followed his hand with a hidden desire. Jack believed it was a sexual look, which was becoming more recognizable to him each time they were in the locker room.

 

Nick looked back to Jack’s eyes and they were steadfastly watching him. Nick was unaware of the fact that held within Jack’s gaze was an egotistical look but then Jack turned back around to face the wall. Jack’s reaction was like it had never happened and like Nick had not been standing there opposite him and watching him. Nick looked at him with an expression, which reiterated the words that were running through his head; “What just happened?” Jack had simply returned to washing his body.

 

Frowning from his confusion but also from his assumption that Jack now knew he was attracted to him and by association, gay, Nick also turned back around and away from Jack and he continued soaking his muscles beneath the hot shower. When he finally turned off the water and looked around again, he was alone. His eyes turned back to the wall he had been facing and they were filled with a frustrated expression. He raised his right hand, extending it up and out and as his palm pressed against the tile and his weight leaned against it, he closed his eyes again. He fell into a brief though deep contemplation, which concerned his life in combination with what had just taken place. Amidst his thoughts, Nick felt like he had no choice.

 

When Nick walked back to his locker, there were only three other guys still in the room. They were already dressed and talking amongst themselves by the door. By the time Nick was fully clothed and ready to leave, he was once again alone. In some ways he was glad because he did not have to make excuses for not joining the team, however, still there was that vague yet distinct feeling and he knew that he wished his life were different.

 

To be continued...