The Professor and Sean II
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2006 by the author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 33

(Dan narrates)

When I rushed out onto the back porch, what I saw took my breath away. There was blood everywhere and I could see Ryan lying across Sean's lap. Sean was screaming and begging his lover not to die. He was hysterical, his behavior erratic and frightening as he tried to move Ryan's body, attempting to sit him up, but to no avail.

I rushed to the two lovers. My first thought was to see if Ryan had a pulse. Fearing the worse, I placed my fingers on his neck. Thank God there was a pulse! He was also breathing. Sean kept begging him not to die. I asked Sean to help me carry Ryan into the cabin, but his hysteria was so intense that he didn't respond to me. I gathered up all my inner fortitude and did what I had to do. I slapped Sean hard across his face hoping to get his attention, but that too failed.

Thank the good Lord, Craig appeared on the porch and when he saw the three of us, blood on all of us, his face froze in a look of horror.

"Craig," I commanded, "help me get Ryan into the cabin and on the sofa. He's breathing. Sean is beyond help."

Craig was quickly by my side, and with some maneuvering, we were able to lift Ryan from Sean's lap. Sean obviously didn't want to let go of him. It took a strong and athletic Craig to pull Sean away.

Craig tenderly spoke to Sean. Sean released his drip so that Craig was able to help me lift Ryan. Sean, gaining some presence of mind, stumbled to the door and held it open for us. We got Ryan to the sofa. His head was still bleeding profusely, and I feared what I would find when I was able to wipe the wound clean and stop the blood flow.

Sean knelt beside Ryan, kissing him gently; stroking his blood soaked hair. His pleading with Ryan not to die, spoken from his soul, tore at Craig and my composure. Ryan had yet to move, and I asked Craig to watch while I got warm water and some cloths. I returned and began to wipe blood and soil from Ryan's face, now quite pale. I worked around the still bleeding wound, finally cleaning it as best I could and I began applying pressure in hopes of stopping the flow. I gave Craig terse instructions to go to the car and to call 911 since the phone was not working in the cabin. He left immediately.

Poor Sean was exhausted from the emotional strain of the horrid occurrence, and put his head on Ryan's chest. While I applied pressure to Ryan's wound with one hand, with the other, I tried to clean the blood from Sean. He weakly pushed my hand away, and in a constricted, emotion-filled voice asked,

"Dan, is he dead? I killed him, Dan. I killed him."

"Sean, he's not dead and he's not going to die. I think the bleeding makes it look much worse than it is. Let me check the bleeding again," I said.

The bleeding was almost stopped and I could now make out the laceration on Ryan's forehead. It looked as if the bullet had grazed him, but caused a great deal of bleeding and probably knocked him unconscious. Before I could say anything, Ryan began to move and to cry out,

"No, no, please Sean, don't do it. Please. God, help me. Sean, no, no, no!"

His eyes flickered open and he saw Sean's distraught face peering down at him. He immediately burst into uncontrolled sobs. Sean was kissing him wildly, both of them acknowledging that they were alive.

I chose that moment to diplomatically leave the two of them alone. I needed to call Rog's cell phone and tell him what was happening. I knew he would let everyone else know. Suddenly I felt exhausted; perhaps I could now admit how much the incident had taken from me emotionally. I was near tears when Craig put his arms around me, pulling me back against his strong body, his tightly muscled chest and abs supporting my back.

"What can I do, Dan?"

"Just hold me for a while, I need to get some strength from you. Did you get 911?"

"Yeah, EMTs and an ambulance are on their way. They also notified the sheriff because there was a shooting involved. Let's take a quick peak at them to make sure everything is okay."

We walked quietly to the door to the living room and saw that they were kissing and we smiled and left.

********

(Sean narrates)

When Ryan grabbed my hand and the pistol went off, I cringed expecting the worse, but I had no pain. In the millisecond of the recognition that I was okay, I became aware of Ryan's body falling across my lap. And the blood!

I knew I had killed him. I knew I had. But I tried to bring him back pleading with him not to die. I appealed to God, and I wept. I knew I was hysterical, but I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to find the pistol and die with Ryan, but Dan was there and he was trying to take Ryan away from me. I struggled and screamed and Dan hit me. He slapped my face so hard that I lost my breath. He wanted me to help him take Ryan into the cabin, but I wouldn't let go of him.

Craig suddenly appeared and with all of his strength, was able to wrench Ryan out of my grip. Ryan was lifted and taken away from me. I stumbled after them reaching the door and opening it so that they could carry my near dead husband into the cabin.

How did so much go wrong is such a short time? I was the only one who was to be hurt. How could Ryan be alive? He died in that plane crash. I couldn't understand it all.

I knelt beside the bed, weeping and sobbing, begging Ryan not to die. I watched as Dan cleaned up Ryan's face and wound. He tried to clean my face, but I pushed his hand away, and in my agony, cried out that I had killed my lover, my husband, my Ryan. Then in what I saw as a miracle, Ryan moved. He shouted 'no' a number of times, trying to stop me from what I had planned to do.

I fell gently upon him and began to kiss him wildly, but gently; and he, as he regained his consciousness of what was happening, began to return my kisses. We both were weeping sobbing without contsraint. How could something that had gone so wrong, come out so well? We would never know the answer to that accepting that it was God's plan for us. God has woven this into the tapestry of our lives. That tapestry was not to be finished yet. There would be many other additions to the growing story of our lives.

At that moment, we both knew that we had been saved from this catastrophe for some reason, and I think, we both understood it was so that we could raise those three boys, bringing joy and happiness into their lives. Ryan kept saying to me, between kisses and sobs,

"Sean, Baby, I didn't lose you. Thank you, God. Sean, I love you so much, so much. I'm sorry, but I couldn't reach you to tell you that I was taking a later flight because I had to stay for a meeting as the new president of the organization. Forgive me, Baby, for bringing so much sorrow into you're life. Please forgive me."

I just kissed his lips to stop him from saying anything more. I was the foolish one, the irrational one, the selfish one. How could I have thought to kill myself when I had the mammoth responsibility of caring for the boys. I clutched his hands in mine and as I lifted my lips from his, I told him the truth,

"We are both here, and I am the only one, Hon, who should seek forgiveness for my folly and for the near tragedy that I caused. Let's begin anew, understanding that life can serve us up so many twists and turns, and that we have to have the courage and the love to carry on. I know I have learned that lesson in the most profound way. Let's seal that with a kiss."

Ryan then grimaced and told me,

"Sean, I have a terrible headache."

I leaned in and kissed his brow just as the EMTs came running into the room. Ryan was now in safe hands. I moved away so that the EMTs could get to his side. As I let go of him, he called out,

"Sean, please don't leave me." Ryan reached out and I took his hand.

"As always, my beloved, I am and will be by your side. Rest now."

********

(Dan narrates)

The EMTs worked on Ryan for a short time. They cleaned the wound and put on a sterile dressing and bandage. They didn't believe that Ryan needed to be transported to the hospital, as his wound was not that serious. They were concerned about this headache and believed he might have a slight concussion.

They thought it appropriate that he be put to bed and allowed to sleep. They cautioned that someone should wake him every two hours throughout the night. If he couldn't be roused, didn't know his name or the date, was unable to move limbs on one side, was in a deep sleep and had difficulty waking up, or vomits, call 911 for immediate transport to the hospital.

Without our assistance, they moved Ryan to the master bedroom, where Sean had gone to pull back the covers and get the bed ready. Ryan was awake and sighed as he was placed on the bed. Sean covered him and, kneeling by the bed took his hand again. We diplomatically left the room, leaving the two lovers alone.

Sheriff Batcomb arrived as the EMTs and the ambulance were leaving. He was a big man, well over six feet tall, and weighing about two hundred-seventy pounds. He had a ruddy complexion, which set off his deep blue eyes. He had a strong bass voice, and when he spoke, most people listened intently. He was an imposing figure whose demeanor spoke authority, and demanded attention.

I watched as he spoke with the EMTs, moved his head in a negative way, shook hands, and headed toward the cabin. I decided to meet him at the door.

"I'm Sheriff Batcomb, and who might you be?"

"I'm Daniel Hazelton, and this is Craig Danvers, an associate in our law firm. We represent Sean Taylor and Ryan Taylor."

"Are they available so that I can talk with them?"

"They are, but Ryan is recovering from a slight wound and probable concussion."

"Right, the EMTs filled me in on that."

"Sheriff, before you speak with them, perhaps I can fill you in on some of what happened, or at least, what caused the accident."

"Thank you, Mr. Hazelton, that would be helpful."

I related the facts about the plane crash, the confusion about which flight Ryan was on, and the assumption that he had been killed in the accident. I thought carefully about it, but I decided that I needed to tell the sheriff about Ryan and Sean's relationship. After all, in Vermont and Massachusetts it was legal. As I told him about their partnership, the difficulties they had already been through, their adoption of the three homeless boys, and Sean's generosity and caring, I could see that he was moved.

"Cripes, those two have been through a lot. I've always believed that we don't get sent anything we can't handle. So, Dan, is it okay to call you Dan?"

"Sure is."

"Do you know anything about what happened here this afternoon?"

"A little. I know that Ryan was frightened that Sean might do harm to himself, especially when he was told that Sean had the pistol. When we arrived here, he ran into the cabin and out onto the small back porch. I was only ten steps behind him, and then I heard him shout 'No'. Then I heard the shot, and a blood-curdling scream from Sean. When I reached them, Ryan was lying across Sean's legs and there was blood everywhere. I had to slap Sean hard across the face to get his attention, as he was hysterical, blaming himself and saying that he killed Ryan.

Craig followed a few steps behind me. He helped me move Ryan to the sofa, but Sean was of little help. He just sobbed and knelt by Ryan and kept blaming himself for the accident. I sent Craig to call 911, and shortly afterward the EMTs were here. You know the rest."

Unbeknownst to me, as I was facing the sheriff, Ellen and Gerry Taylor had come into the cabin. Craig was standing with them, trying to console Ellen, as she was distraught. Gerry was having difficulty, also. They had heard everything I had told the sheriff. Batcomb looked at them and asked,

"And who are you?"

"Ryan and Sean are our sons," Gerry said quietly.

"May we see them, Sheriff?" asked Ellen.

"Not until after I have had a little chat with them. I hope you understand that this has to be investigated to ascertain that nothing illegal occurred."

Craig quickly answered, "They understand, Sheriff. They'll wait."

As he followed me toward the bedroom, he turned and looked directly at Ellen and Gerry, saying

"I won't take long. I know if they were my sons, I would want to be with them as quickly as possible.

We hurried down the hall stopping at the bedroom door.

"Let me check with them before you go in, Sheriff. It will only take a minute."

"Fine, but let's get this over. I have other duties that need my attention.

I opened the door and quietly went into the room. Sean was kneeling by the side of the bed, his head resting on Ryan's chest. They both looked as if they were sleeping. I cleared my throat,

"Sean, Ryan."

Sean lifted his head and turned to me. He smiled,

"What's happening?" he asked.

"The sheriff is here to speak with you two. Do you want me in the room as your attorney, or would you rather see him alone?"

Ry raised himself up on his elbows and spoke clearly,

"I think you had better be here with us, just in case."

"Okay."

I went to the door and invited the sheriff into the room.

********

(Sheriff Batcomb narrates)

I was surprised by the lack of light in the room. There was only one small lamp on a bedside table. Attorney Hazelton stayed in the room, which I accepted as routine.

I looked at the bed and saw a handsome young man sitting on the edge, holding the hand of an older, but equally handsome man who had a bandaged head. Before I could speak, Hazelton was introducing the two men. The younger man was Sean Kelly Taylor and the older man, who had been injured, was Ryan Taylor.

Sean came to me, extending his hand, " Pleased to meet you, sir. We appreciate your promptness in helping us get through this. How can we help you?"

I was pleasantly surprised by the way that Sean wanted to help. I could tell by looking at him that he had been emotionally involved in whatever happened. By now, Ryan was sitting on the edge of the bed having been helped up by Hazelton. Sean hurried back and sat beside Ryan, taking his hand into his. So this is a gay couple. 'Probably some kind of gay love triangle,' I thought to myself, but I would only know the facts if I asked some questions.

"Why don't you tell me what happened here this afternoon. Try to tell me everything. Is that okay with you Attorney Hazelton?" I asked.

"There's no problem with that. I might suggest that Ryan start because he knows some facts that are only guesses by Sean."

I looked at the two of them and shook my head 'yes', hoping Ryan would get the message; he did.

As he spoke, I soon became aware of the horrible mix-up in facts that had occurred. I heard of the beating and the reason for the purchase of the pistol, which they had a permit for and they had passed a gun safety class. The details of the actual accident came later when Ryan related what he saw and his attempt to intervene and the sudden discharge of the pistol and then blackness. I thanked him for his information, and then asked,

"Sean, is there anything you want to add?"

He waited for a second or two and then told me about how he had gotten the news from the television. He went to the townhouse and got the pistol from the locked box, and hurried here to Vermont to the cabin where the two of them had spent many happy hours. He confessed he hadn't really decided on suicide until the last minute because he knew he had the responsibility of raising the boys, but he feared he wouldn't be able to do it without Ryan. His grief, he told me, had so overcome him that he wasn't thinking clearly.

Tears were streaming down Ryan and Sean's faces, and I was duly surprised to see that Hazelton was also emotionally involved. I knew instantly that these two men were not the usual run-of-the-mill gays that I sometimes confronted outside of the gay bar in town. These guys loved each other. Frankly, I was moved by it. I told them,

"There was in no way any crime committed here today. You are licensed to have the pistol, so that's no problem. What might have happened is another matter. Sean, do you realize that if you hadn't had access to the pistol none of this would have happened?"

"It's not his fault, Sheriff. I'm the one who wanted to have the pistol so that we would have protection if anything like what happened to Sean were to happen again. I don't think I ever thought about the pistol being used as it almost was used today. Sean never really wanted the pistol around; it was because of my insistence that we have it," Ryan told me.

"I see. Is the pistol available?"

"Yes, it is, Sheriff. I have it in my brief case in the other room," Hazelton offered.

"Please get it."

As we had this little exchange, Sean had gotten Ryan to lie back on the bed, and he was again kneeling beside it. I walked over to the bed and looking down at them and told them,

"With your permission, I am taking the pistol. I believe that your lives would be better without it. With your sons around, having the pistol is even more problematic."

Ryan raised his head from the pillow, and spoke firmly and with certainty,

"Take it away. I never want to see it again. Never!"

"Nor do I," added Sean.

"Then it's a done deal, guys. There will be some paperwork to sign, but your attorney can take care of that."

As I was speaking, Hazelton came back into the room with the pistol. Sean immediately turned his head away while Ryan closed his eyes. I explained briefly what we had decided, and we left the room.

********

(Gerry narrates)

I thought the sheriff was taking too damned much time, and I was ready to say so, when Dan came out to the living room and got the pistol out of his brief case.

"What the hell's going on in there? We want to see our sons. Come on, Dan, help us."

"Gerry, I know how frustrating this is for you and Ellen, but try to remember that once he's done, Sheriff Batcomb will be gone and you will have all the time you want with your sons. It's important to get this mess cleared up so that we can all return to our everyday living," I told him.

Ellen walked over to Gerry and took him by the arm, pulling him toward the sofa. Craig was now looking out the window toward the new cabin and the parking lot. He was intent on something, and although I was interested, I had other fish to fry at that moment. The sooner we finished this mini interrogation the better for all of us.

"Gerry," Ellen said, " Dan's right. Let's try to keep our cool and let the sheriff do his duty. Then we can see Ryan and Sean. You know I want to see them as much as you do. We know that they are both fine, or at least okay, so let's just wait like the adults we are."

"You're right, Ell, but it's just so irritating to fly all the way here and not be able to see the boys or to hear from them exactly what happened. But I'll be patient."

"I think someone is coming, but I can't make out who it is," Craig said. It's dusk now and you can't really see very far. There's quite a crowd, six or eight. I'll go out and meet them. You two stay here so that you can get in immediately to see the guys."

As he left, Dan and the sheriff came down the hall and back into the living room. We sat quietly listening to the conversation.

"You can take care of all the paperwork can't you, Hazelton? It will speed up everything."

"That's no problem, sheriff, I'll have everything signed and sent out to you tomorrow morning. You have been really great. I know the guys in there appreciate the manner in which you allowed them both to tell their story. They are remarkable men, and I consider it an honor to be their attorney, but more importantly, their friend," Dan said.

As the sheriff moved to the door, he turned and said goodbye to Ellen and me, then turned quickly and was out the door, followed by Dan. I looked at Ellen, who sat stocially beside me. I told her,

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to see Ryan and Sean right now. I'm not waiting another second. Are you coming?"

"Of course I am coming. They're our sons!"

With that she stood and hurried down the hall, pulling me in tow. Ah, the joy of a timid wife!

********

(Craig narrates)

As soon as I left the cabin, I headed for the group which was moving toward the old cabin. I hadn't walked too far when I recognized Rog Fillimore and Greg. I didn't know the others immediately, but then perceived Cathy and Janet. I learned shortly that the other two were Jerrod and Blake.

"I hope everything is okay," said an obviously worried Rog.

"Things are under control, but it was a very close call. Ryan got injured, but he'll be fine. Sean is fine, but emotionally he's a wreck."

"Has anyone else shown up here?" asked Cathy.

As we moved toward the cabin I told them that Ellen and Gerry Taylor had arrived about forty-five minutes before them. I surmised they were in with the guys by now.

As best I could, I related to them what had happened, and I could see from the looks on their faces that they were shocked and upset.

"You mean, Sean, was actually going to kill himself," said a breathless Jerrod.

"I guess there's no other way to put it. It was very close, but thank God Ryan got here just seconds before Sean was to do it. When Ryan reached for the handgun, it discharged, superficially wounding him on the head. There was a great deal of blood, but little real damage. He may have a slight concussion, probably from hitting his head when he fell across Sean's legs."

"My good God!" said Greg.

Rog had paled significantly, and Cathy went to his side and took his hand. He looked at her and she could see the tears streaming down his face. She realized how much Ryan and Sean meant to this man, and she marveled that so many lives had been touched by these remarkable guys. She knew herself how much they meant to Janet and her. Janet had moved to her side and had taken her other hand. Cathy cleared her throat a little and spoke quietly to Rog,

"I know just a little how you feel, Rog. You may be closer to Sean than I am, but Ryan has been with me for a number of years now, and you and Greg have known him as long as I have. To imagine our lives without one or both of these men boggles the mind. I shall be thanking the good Lord for a long time for sparing them. They have so much more to give. I think of the boys who will be living with them as their sons, and I get very misty as I realize that those kids are among the luckiest in the world. I know that you and Greg would be the same caliber of parents."

Rog spoke with such pent-up emotion in his voice that it was disconcerting. Greg went to him as Cathy and Janet moved away a little. He hugged Rog, and then in an uncustomary move, kissed him gently on the lips.

"I almost vomited when we heard the news." Roger injected, "I never thought that anything could so upset me, except something terrible happening to my beloved Greg. But when I thought, as you did Cathy, of all they still had to give, I felt as if the world was being shortchanged. I confess I couldn't imagine our lives without those two guys. My God, look at us. See how much their lives have already effected us. Imagine how many lives will be touched by them in the next thirty or forty years. "

Greg still held Rog in his arms, trying to keep his own emotions in check while attempting to console his lover. He spoke with a seriousness not characteristic of himself,

"All I know it this: Ryan and Sean have had an impact on Rog and my life. They have taught us patience and caring. They have demonstrated putting yourself last in the relationship. Their love for each other is a shining example of what love should be, whether it is between a man and a woman, two women, or two men. Love, after all, their lives shout out, is the glue of life as it helps us to stay together as couples, families, and friends. We owe a great deal to these two selfless guys."

Jerrod added,

"I can only say that if it hadn't been for Ryan and Sean, I don't think I would be here now. They gave me hope and love when I was destitute and bruised by sorrow. They listened, and even if not one hundred percent in favor of some of my decisions, they let me go where my hopes and dreams would lead me. They gave so much of their time after the death of Kevin, assuming a responsibility for me I couldn't even imagine. It's the kind of love you can't believe you can ever repay. And in letting me go to Blake's to stay, they allowed me to fall in love again and to be loved again, not because they knew that would happen, but because they trusted me to make the right decisions about my life. Now I have a partner for the rest of my life to love and to be loved by him. I can only..."

Jerrod could not continue and began to sob softly as Blake hugged him tightly and told him that everything would be okay, that life would go on, that happiness would again be in his life and that he would love him for eternity. By now the water works were flowing freely, everyone realized that life would now go on, and that we would be able to enjoy knowing and loving Sean and Ryan.

We had reached the cabin door and as we got there, Dan came out onto the front porch. When he saw all of us with tears in our eyes or tear-streaked faces, he lost his composure after an afternoon of uncompromising stress.

I just hugged him.

********

[Ellen narrates]

For the first time in many years, I saw two little boys, both of whom looked scared and fragile. I nearly lost my self-control, but I managed to hug both of them and kiss them, letting them know I was now there for them. Gerry hugged them both, and I could tell by his behavior that he also felt as I, that they seemed small and hurt. Neither he nor I said anything for a long time. I hugged Sean and Gerry hugged Ryan, trying as best we could to give them some of our strength, our love.

"Mom and Dad, thank you for coming. We need you with us. It's been a tough day for us, a really tough day," said Sean with a deep sigh.

Ryan continued to be silent, watching me as I hugged Sean. I glanced at Gerry and saw that he was upset by the thoughts I also had of what it would have been like to have lost our sons. The reports from Dan had shaken us and we wondered, if only momentarily, if God had decided to punish us for some act we could not even imagine. When we received the cell phone call that Ryan had been shot, our world began to unravel. Nothing we had was worth anything to us: not our wealth, not our position in society in South Florida, not Gerry's influence and leadership in business. Nothing! Without our Ryan and Sean, life would suddenly be worthless.

Then I thought of the boys, and the depth of my agony increased as I imagined the impact on the boys again losing their dearly loved fathers. When I shared that thought with my usually stalwart husband, he had broken down and wept as I had never seen him weep before. It was then that I prayed with an intensity I never realized I had. I asked God to let them live, to take me, but to let them have the family they so richly deserved. My thoughts were interrupted by Sean,

"It's all my fault, Mom and Dad. I fell apart. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't imagine living without Ryan. I thought about the boys but I realized they would be well cared for by you two, and Rog and Greg. So many people love them. So I selfishly decided that I needed to be with Ryan. I came here with the pistol and looked about the cabin remembering our happy times here.

"Finally I took the pistol and went out onto the porch and sat on the steps to watch the sunset as Ryan and I had done so many times together. I called to Ryan to come to me. I was angry with God for letting this happen. Then our song was playing loudly in the background, and as the sun was setting and the sky was ablaze with color, I took the pistol and started to raise it to my head. Suddenly I heard Ryan scream 'no', and I felt his hand grab for the gun. There was an explosion, and then Ryan was lying in my lap, and oh, Mom, Dad, there was so much blood. I lost it, screaming for him not to die, to stay with me.

"Dan was suddenly there and asked me to help move Ryan inside, but I was too hysterical to do anything except scream and weep. Dan slapped me very hard across the face, and when I came around, Craig was there and they were moving Ryan. I ran to the door and opened it, holding it, so that they could get him into the living room. Then I went to him and knelt by his side, imploring him not to die. Dan examined him, sent Craig to get water and cloths, and then cleaned Ryan of the blood so that he could see the wound. Thank God it wasn't life threatening.

"Then the EMTs came, followed by the sheriff, and well, you know all the rest. I apologize to both of you for my selfish behavior. I just hope that Ryan will be able to love me again, as he did in the past. And I want you, Mom and Dad, to love me as before. As for the boys, I don't think I will tell them immediately, but later, I will want them to know so that they will never be as foolish as I was." Then he wept.

Ryan had gotten out of the bed, and with just a little assistance from Dad, walked around the bed to where Sean and I were. Sean was inconsolable by this time. Tears were running down Ryan's face, as well as Dad's, and mine. I moved away from Sean, allowing Ryan to get on his knees and take his husband into his arms. He stroked those golden curls and spoke softly to his beloved,

"You silly goose. How could you think that I would love you less or differently after this happened? Sean, you were willing to give up your life to be with me. My God, how you must love me. Well, Baby, I love you that much times a thousand because you are you. Let me hold you. Let me kiss you. Let me make it all right. Oh, Sean, you are my life; without you I am nothing. Just love me, Baby, just love me as you always have."

The bedroom was soon filled with the sobs of four people whose love had been tested and who had met the challenge of that day, and in a larger sense, of a lifetime.

********

(Rog narrates)

Other than the deaths of my mother, grandmother and grandfather in the automobile accident years ago, today had been an utterly horrible day. Wondering about Sean and if he had done something to himself, and then hearing from Dan that Ryan had been shot, I couldn't think of anything more disconcerting and upsetting except if I were to lose Greg. That was something I had never allowed myself to think about.

Now approaching the cabin, I actually felt my body begin to shake. I don't know how noticeable it was, but in moments Greg was there, his arm around my shoulder, whispering into my ear,

"Are you okay, Rog? My God, you're shaking."

"Yeah, yeah, it's just..."

"Something's the matter, Rog. What's going on? Tell me!"

I could tell that Greg was very concerned, but I wasn't sure I would be able to explain to him what was going on in my muddled brain. Would he think of me as a pantywaist? I decided I had to try to tell him about my emotions, so I said,

"It's just with all that's happened today, I began to think about life without you, and it hurt and disheartened me deeply. I can't imagine life without you, Greg. I just can't."

He stopped us as the others went into the cabin, taking me into his arms and kissing me gently. I felt better immediately as I gained strength from him. He looked at me with total love in his eyes and said,

"Rog, don't you think I thought about life without you, too. I mean, I don't know that I would want to go on. If we had kids I would carry on through the pain, but I would know that you would want them cared for by me. But we don't have kids. Hey, we're not even a legal couple. Shit, Rog, we should take care of that immediately."

I began to laugh lightly, relieved by his candor and his desire to make us a legal couple. I had thought about it since Ryan and Sean had been married in Vermont. Now it was legal in Massachusetts, so we could do it there. I shared this hidden thought with him,

"Greg, if we were a legal couple, we could. No never mind' it's too stupid, I guess." Greg laughed, joining me in our happiness.

"I already know what you want, Sweetie. If we're a legal couple, you want to adopt some kids, right?"

"Right! What do you think about that?"

"I can't think of anything that would make me happier than to have a family with you. Let's do it. As soon as we return home, let's make arrangement, get married, and get going on adopting some kids."

"That's why I love you, Greg. You always know what to do to make us happier than we were." I kissed him hard on the lips and for a moment explored his mouth with my tongue, which he began to suck voraciously.

We had surmounted a very important milestone in our lives.

********

(Dan narrates)

When Rog and Greg finally came into the cabin, I told all of them that Ellen and Gerry were with the guys. I told them to find seats as best they could, but to leave the sofa for Ryan and Sean. Ellen and Gerry would need a place to sit, too. Jer, with Blake's assistance, took the lead and went into the kitchen area and brought out some chairs with Blake's assistance. There were also some stools at the counter, which we could use.

Craig smiled at me and my heart did its usual flip-flop. This was not a time to let my need for him to show, but I was indeed sexually desirous. That would have to wait until a more auspicious time. Right now, everyone here wanted to see and hear Sean and Ryan.

I went to the bedroom door and indicated that everyone was here. I watched as Ryan got up, being just a little shaky. Sean took one side and Gerry the other, not holding him up, but giving him the security of knowing that someone would catch him, if he indeed, needed it. Surprisingly, Ellen chose to follow behind the three men. As I reentered the living room, I marveled at the silence. It almost seemed as if everyone there was holding their breaths.

When they saw Sean and Ryan, both pale and somewhat less demonstrative than usual, there was a collective gasp, not loud and obvious, but indicative of the shock of seeing these two so alive guys, now a little under the weather.

Then Sean smiled, followed almost immediately by Ryan, and the tenor of the room changed, to joy in seeing two people who had earned the love of so many others.

I noticed, too, that there were lots of glistening eyes, and it was not just apparent in Cathy and Janet's eyes, but in everyone's, including my own.

Could this tragedy strengthen their relationship? I knew that it had changed my feelings and desire for Craig.

We all quieted down, and waited for someone to speak. It was Sean,

"Ryan and I want to tell you how overwhelmed we are by your support and love during this difficult time. I need to apologize to all of you, as I already have to Ryan and our parents for behaving in such a totally immature way. But when..."

Ryan quickly interrupted,

"There is no need for an apology, Baby. What's done is done. Everyone is safe. Having our friends here to be with our parents and us only strengthens our friendship. I would prefer not to discuss what happened earlier any more today. Later, perhaps, when we have had time to contemplate our lives, we'll talk about it. Thanks for coming. Now how about some hugs and kisses?"

It was then that the love feast began!

To be continued...

Feedback always welcome:     

The marked improvement in the punctuation and spelling is because of the intelligent and careful assistance I have received from Wayne. This wonderful man is my editor, I thank him here publicly. As Sean would say, "He is awesome!"
 

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