The Professor and Sean I
By:
Scotty
(Copyright 2006 by the author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions
are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Chapter 33
I
After making love and taking a
long sensuous shower, we dressed in casual clothes and left to go to
dinner. Sean locked most of his cash in the safety box that held
other important papers and the pistol I had bought. Sean made it
clear that we would have a safe installed immediately. I agreed with
him.
The drive to the restaurant was pleasant. We kept chatting about the
last few days with all the wonderful and some of the strange things
that had happened to us. It was obvious that we were both happy.
Sean radiated happiness; his smile was electric and beautiful. He
was more talkative than I was so I let him go on about many of the
things that had happened. Remarkably, he chose to talk a great deal
about his Aunt Emily. She was the last of his living relatives,
related only because she had married his Uncle Jesse. As he talked,
it became obvious to me that he was concerned about being the last
Kelly in his family tree. As he went on, I became aware that I, too,
would be the last Taylor in our family line. Thinking about this
fortified my resolution to begin working on a family. I decided to
tell him just how I felt. There was a pause in Sean's chat, so I
asked him,
"Sean, are you concerned about being the last member of your family
line?"
"Why do you ask that? Well, as a matter of fact, I am. There's no
one else, Ry. No one! I hate to see the family name die out. Oh, I
know there will be lots of Kelly's, but they won't be my family. Is
it strange to feel that way, Hon?" he asked.
"No, it isn't strange at all. You know, Baby, I am in the same
situation. I am the last Taylor in our family line. I don't want to
see the name die out with me either. So, let's get busy on adopting
or whatever, and get some kids."
"Ryan Taylor, you must have read my mind. I want Dan to get some
heavyweights to start an investigation and research on this. I want
some answers and I don't want to wait for years. Let's keep this to
ourselves for the time being, Hon. It's our secret."
"Agreed!" I said as we turned into the parking lot of Casa Ranaldi.
The lot was full, so we knew it was good that we had made a
reservation. Sean told me that Tony Ranaldi would have found room
for us, even if it had been in the kitchen. We didn't see any of our
friends, and so assumed they had not yet arrived.
"I am really excited about seeing our friends again. This will be a
special dinner, the first I have been able to pay for with my own
money. Let's not make it too late, Hon, as I want to get home at a
reasonable hour so we can talk and cuddle, and maybe, if you are in
the mood, make love," he told me with his famous giggle.
"I want the same thing, Baby. Let's enjoy ourselves, but get home
reasonably early. I am sure I will be in the mood to make love to
you. Also, we need to be awake when Mom and Dad call tomorrow
morning. You ready?"
"Yes, I am. Let's go into the restaurant. We can wait there until
everyone is here," he said.
"But, I can't do this inside in the restaurant," I told Sean as I
took him in my arms and gave him a tongue filled kiss while my hand
was rubbing his back.
"Hon, your rubbing my back feels so good. I wish we were skin to
skin; it would feel even better. One more kiss, Hon, and we have to
get into the restaurant. Come here," he ordered me.
I moved closer to him and he kissed me hotly and with passion. It
wouldn't have taken much more before my penis was at attention. Sean
knew this, and let me go.
"That's just a down payment for later tonight," he said with a
giggle.
"Hmmm, that sounds promising. I had best eat a hearty meal. Your
down payment makes me think that the final payment will be something
extra special, " I told him.
We got out of the Rover and went into the restaurant. We had barely
walked through the door when Rog, Greg, Cathy, and Janet rushed to
us. There was much hugging and kissing; everyone was in a wonderful
mood. Tony Ranaldi came to our group and shook Sean and my hands
until we thought he might break them off. He led us to the best
table in the house. The restaurant was full, but he somehow managed
to give us the best.
I said nothing to Sean, but we had a nice young waiter; someone who
had not been here before. He smiled a great deal, was pleasant, but
my gaydar told me that he was straight as an arrow. That was okay by
me. Sean just smiled knowingly at me indicating that he had figured
out the cute waiter, too.
The meal, as is usual at Casa Ranaldi, was outstanding. The
conversation was fun-filled and happy. Cathy and Janet told us that
they were off to the Bahamas and Paradise Island for the winter
break. We guys chatted a little about our trip to Florida, and, of
course, there was a multitude of questions about our honeymoon stay.
Everyone seemed to understand why we stayed at the cabin. Neither
Sean nor I related any of the supernatural happenings. It was
private and personal; it was for him and me only.
Time flew by rapidly and soon we were enjoying our coffee. There was
something bittersweet about saying goodbye to all these close
friends. We would see them all again many times, but this night had
been so special. As Rog was telling everyone about the concert at
which Sean had been invited to play, I excused myself, saying I
needed to use the bathroom.
Rog was going full force as I left. When I got to the vestibule, I
asked the Hostess to get Mr. Ranaldi for me. She left, and in short
order Tony Ranaldi was there, a worried look on his face.
"Something was not good about dinner? I am sorry," he said.
"Tony, dinner was outstanding as usual. It's not that. Look, Sean so
wants to pay for everyone's dinner tonight. Would you be so kind as
to give him the bill, as you would to anyone else? He is just so
excited about being able to pay the bill. I would really appreciate
it," I told him.
"Of course. But, you shouldn't have to pay for it at all. I had
every intention to give it to you as a honeymoon gift. But if your
Sean wants to pay the bill, and it will make him happy, then I will
present the bill to him."
"Thanks, Tony. That will mean so much to him."
I left Tony standing there looking a little puzzled, but with a
happy smile on his face. I returned to the table and joined in the
conversation lauding Sean's talent as a pianist. He was smiling and
happy. It was just then that Tony appeared with the bill.
"That's mine, please," said Sean.
"Of course, sir," said Tony as he handed him the bill.
"No way, no way. Rog and I want to pay for this little
get-together," said a frustrated Greg.
"We thought this was a shared dinner," added Cathy.
"Look everyone. Sean wants to pay for this. He has the means now,
and he wants to know how it feels to be able to pay the bill, so be
quiet. You all set, Sean?" I asked.
"Kind of, Ryan. It's just that I don't know about tipping. I will
need your help with that," he said as he handed me the bill.
After checking it out, I leaned to Sean and told him how much to
leave as a tip. He smiled broadly. He took a wad of bills out of his
pocket and counted out the amount, and left it in the folder with
the bill. Everyone started to thank Sean for the wonderful evening.
He was smiling from ear to ear.
"No need for all that 'thank you' stuff. After what you guys have
done for Ryan and me, it's just a little token of our affection for
all of you." he told them.
We made our way to the parking lot where there was a great deal more
hugging and kissing. Then the three couples got into their
respective automobiles and drove off into the night. I had decided
to drive home. Sean sat quietly in the passenger seat.
"You were wonderful tonight, Baby. I was proud of the way you
handled the bill. We'll have to chat about tipping; it's a skill you
learn, if you ever do learn it. You'll find little agreement about
amount. You left a terrific tip. I bet that cute young waiter it
jumping for joy. You left him a fifty-dollar tip. That was super."
We reached an intersection where the light was red. I placed my hand
on his thigh and patted him. He smiled at me, took my hand and
kissed it. Just then the light turned green. I took my hand back,
putting both hands on the steering wheel. I looked and saw no cars;
I eased out into the intersection. I was barely into it when out of
the corner of my eye I saw a large white van flying into the
intersection. I could see it approaching the passenger side of the
Rover and my Sean. I floored the Rover, which shot across the
intersection. I struggled to keep control, and finally after doing a
couple of three sixties, we came to an abrupt stop. The van flew
through the intersection, across the oncoming lane, and into a large
maple tree. There was a terrible crash and then silence.
I looked at Sean. He was pale. I was shaking, holding onto the
steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were white. I found I
couldn't speak for a moment.
"Sean, are you okay, Baby?"
"I guess so. Hon, that scared the shit out of me. I thought we were
going to be killed," he told me as two police cars, lights flashing
and sirens screaming, arrived on the scene.
They first rushed to the van to determine the condition of the
driver. It was obvious that things didn't look good. One officer
came quickly to our Rover.
"Are you guys okay?" he asked.
"Fine, officer. We are a little shaken. That was close." I replied.
"We were alerted to the van. Someone called in on a cell phone to
say the van was driving out of control. The driver was an older man.
He didn't make it. We think he may have been dead for a bit with his
foot on the accelerator. Accident reconstruction officers will be
here momentarily to do a preliminary investigation. I have to ask
you guys to stay for a little while. And sir, could you please pull
your vehicle into the driveway over at the yellow house?"
"Sure, officer."
I started the Rover and slowly drove to the driveway. I turned off
the engine and lights. It was then that I realized the shaking. Sean
had noticed it, too.
"Come here, Hon. You need some serious hugging."
We removed our seat belts and I fell into Sean's arms. It was then
that I realized that he, too, was shaking. Neither of us spoke. We
just enjoyed the closeness of the person we most loved in the world.
"Sean, all I could think of was that I would never be able to hold
you in my arms again, to kiss you, to make love to you. That's all I
could think of. Oh, Baby, I love you so much," I told him in a
whisper, my voice cracking.
"That's all I could think of too; a world, a life without you. I
couldn't imagine it. I wanted to die with you. That's what I wanted;
I didn't want either of us to survive the other. That's a cold, mean
thing, isn't it Ry?
"No, I understand exactly what you mean. I feel the same way."
There was a knock on the Rover window. I pushed the button and it
rolled down. An officer stood there.
"Could we interview you two for a few minutes. If you would follow
me over to the cruiser, we can take care of this in short order."
"Yes, sir," I told the officer.
We got out of the Rover without any conversation and moved to the
cruiser. Once inside the warm vehicle, we relaxed. The questions and
answers followed quickly. Our names, our address, were either of us
injured, was the Rover damaged. Finally it was over and we were told
we could leave and go home. We got out of the cruiser and started
walking toward the Rover. The officer called to us,
"Drive carefully!"
The drive to the townhouse was silent. We got out of the Rover and
entered the townhouse. Sean put on some lights in the living room. I
armed the alarm, walked into the room and took him into my arms.
"I was so afraid I was going to lose you, Sean. I can't tell you the
feeling, the fear, the horror of that thought. Thank God you are
okay and with me. Baby, I love you."
"Ry, let's go to bed. I want to feel safe in your arms. I want you
to love me with passion. I want to be reassured that I am your
lover, your partner, your one and only. Please?"
Shutting off lights as we moved toward the bedroom, I led him to our
bed where we soon were naked and in each other's arms, just holding
each other. Feeling the one you so completely love snuggle in your
arms lets you feel wanted and fulfilled. I dimmed the lights as we
lay there wrapped in a warm embrace. Our lover's body and arms
calmed our hearts and minds. We had nearly reached the final moment
of our lives, and that fearsome moment gave new meaning to the
admonition to 'live life to the fullest'. That would be our guiding
light in the future. Without our wishing it, we both slowly fell
asleep, amazingly without sex.
We would enjoy tomorrow; it would be another day.
II
The white van came careening
down the highway toward the intersection. By the time I saw it, I
knew it was too late.
Sean screamed, "RYAN!"
The crash was deafening, glass bits were flying around the interior
of the Rover, air bags inflated instantly. I saw the passenger side
of the Rover move toward me, pushing Sean against the steering
wheel. Blood was everywhere. It was silent now. Sean wasn't
breathing.
"My God, he's dead. He's dead. SEAN! SEAN! Please Sean, don't die,
please, please," I was screaming, sobbing, pounding Sean's back.
"Ryan, wake up, Hon. Wake up! It's okay, I'm right here with you.
Please, Ryan, stop crying. Come here, Hon, into my arms. I love you,
Hon," he told me.
Suddenly I sat upright in the bed. I was a wreck. I grabbed Sean and
hugged him to me, kissing him wildly, crying, hoping that this was
reality and not a dream.
"Sean, my partner, my lover. I was so afraid. I dreamed the van hit
us tonight and you were injured very badly. I couldn't get you to
respond to me, Baby. You were quiet and white and you didn't move.
My God, it was awful. It was awful."
"Lover, it was just a bad dream; a very bad dream. Rest your head on
my shoulder, snuggle into my arms, and relax. Let me love you," he
told me with a gentleness that tempered the horror of my terrible
dream.
"Am I a wimp, or something? Why should I have such a terrible dream?
What's the matter with me?" I demanded of Sean.
"Ryan Taylor, you are not a wimp. You are a strong, caring,
independent, intelligent man. You are a real man. You had that
terrible dream because you love me. You just relived what almost
happened, thinking it took me from you, and it was destroying you.
What a wonderful feeling it is to know that you love me that much,
Hon. Please, now, relax. Let's lie back down and try to get some
sleep," he told me.
"Make love to me, Sean. Please. I need you now so much; I want you
so much. Do this for me, Lover. Make me yours," I begged.
There in the low light of the bedroom, without any further urging or
begging from me, my lover, took control and made passionate love to
me. He brought me to heights of sexual pleasure, let me down gently
and brought me back again. Finally in a moment almost suspended in
time, he carried me up to reach those heights and plunge into the
river of pleasure that flowed down the other side. I was at peace
once again, filled with his essence, under his control, loved
without reservation, and made whole by his complete love.
Undisturbed sleep followed our intense lovemaking.
********
Saturday dawned gray, rainy,
and cold. Neither of us stirred until after nine in the morning. I
awoke first, nature was calling. I slipped out of bed, took care of
my pressing need to urinate, and returned to the bedroom and quietly
slipped back into bed. Sean was lying with his back to me. I moved
over close to him and pressed against his back, putting my arm
around his chest and hugging him. He moved and murmured in pleasure.
I kissed his neck and whispered into his ear.
"Sweetie, it's after nine. Think we should get up and get going?"
"Not yet, I want to feel you close to me," he said as he turned and
faced me.
His eyes were half closed, and in a real sense, it made them sexy
and inviting. His beautiful lips invited a kiss, and when he ran his
tongue lightly over my lips, I felt my cock jump. He stretched, his
muscular frame extended the entire length of the bed, his skin
shining in the gray light of a rainy day. His curly hair was
tousled, and his nipples were gorgeous with deep brown areolas. I
hugged him kissing his lips lightly. He smiled at me.
"Is that the best you can do, Lover. It's not even early in the
morning. Come on, I want our special kiss," he said smiling broadly
at me.
"I can do better. Try this." I pulled him to me and kissed him
firmly pushing my tongue deeply into his mouth He was quick to
return the kiss. Our hard cocks were rubbing against each other. We
rolled over putting Sean on the bottom.
"Ry, it's my turn. Make love to me."
So I did.
********
After our lovemaking, we
showered, dressed in sweats, and moved to the kitchen to prepare
breakfast.
"Let's have eggs, toast, OJ, and milk or coffee," I said.
"Sounds super to me. You know, Hon, you were great this morning.
When you make love to me, it is always awesome. This morning was no
exception. What's on the schedule for today?" he asked.
"Mom and Dad are supposed to call, so we'll have to wait until then.
I still have work to do before Monday. You must have some studying
to do, too. We can continue with that until they call. After we
speak to them, we can do whatever you want. I don't have any plans.
What about you?"
"Need to practice the piano. Got reading to do for Dr. Milne. I want
to cuddle some, too. We could go out for lunch. I don't have
anything in mind. I'm happy just being here with you, Ry."
The eggs were finished as the toast popped in the toaster. As I
brought the food to the counter, the coffee finished brewing.
Pouring OJ for both of us, I then got some milk for Sean and a cup
of coffee for myself. We sat across from each other and helped
ourselves to eggs and toast.
"Sorry, Baby, this isn't much of a breakfast. That reminds me, one
thing we have to do is go grocery shopping."
He smiled at me, blew me a kiss, and put the remainder of the eggs
on his plate. He reached for my hand, took it to his lips and kissed
it.
"I'll go anywhere with you, Hon," he told me with his famous giggle.
I broke into a full-bodied laugh causing Sean to start laughing and
choking on his breakfast. He recovered quickly and smiled that
devilish smile at me. As usual, I melted.
"Let's just spend the day with each other, doing whatever feels
good. With you, Baby, I know all our time will be pleasant. Now let
me clean up the kitchen and you start practicing the piano. Go on,
that's important. In a couple of minutes, I'll join you in the
living room where I need to do some more planning."
"Ok, but I clean up the kitchen after lunch or after dinner. I won't
have it any other way. Understand, Lover?"
"Yeah, yeah. I understand. Now get that beautiful ass of yours in
there and make that piano sing," I told him with a laugh.
"Yes, sir."
It was pleasant to hear Sean at the piano. Even his finger exercises
were pleasant. He had a natural affinity with the piano and the
music that I truly did not understand. Nevertheless, I was able to
appreciate his talent and his ability to interpret the music, more
accurately, to make the music his own. His playing made the cleanup
of the kitchen pass quickly. I joined him in the living room and got
out my paperwork and began to work on the lessons for the coming
week. It struck me suddenly that this rather mundane use of time was
wonderful. Here we were together doing things we loved with the
person we loved most. My eyes misted a little and I swallowed hard
trying not to tear up. I was happy. I was in love. I was content.
The morning passed quickly. At about 11:30 the phone rang, bringing
both Sean and me back to the reality of the day.
"That's probably Mom and Dad. Get the portable and bring it in here
so that we can both talk with them," I said.
As Sean ran to get the portable, I answered the phone, "Hello,
Taylor-Kelly residence, Ryan speaking."
"Hi, Ryan, it's your mother. How are you? We miss you both
terribly."
"Hi Mom," interrupted Sean.
"Oh, Sean, hi. We have missed you and Ryan so much. I hope we will
see you at Christmas," she said.
"Mom, we may not be there for Christmas Day, but we will be coming
down during the break for 10 days or so. Rog and Greg are coming
with us, if that's okay with you," I told her.
"Ryan, son, that will be fine. How come you won't be here for
Christmas?" asked our father.
"Well, we're not sure yet. But, well..," I stammered.
"I know why, Ryan. You two want to be together and alone for
Christmas, right?" said our Mom.
"Don't blame Ryan, Mom and Dad. I guess he may be doing this just
for me. It will be our first Christmas as a couple; I sort of want
Ryan just to myself. I'm sorry. We can come for Christmas," Sean
said.
"No, no! You two deserve to be together and alone on Christmas.
Enough said. You can come down shortly after and have a second
Christmas here with us. That's final!" barked our Dad. Mom quickly
agreed.
"Thanks for understanding, Mom and Dad. I hope you don't think I am
being selfish. I've never really had a Christmas worth anything
since I was a child, a very young child," Sean said in a soft, shy
voice.
"Baby, you are not selfish. And anyway, I want to have Christmas
with you and alone, too. You are my partner and we are deeply in
love. That's all there is to it." I said forcefully.
"Look you two, there is no problem. We don't think you are selfish.
We know how much you love each other. So enjoy Christmas. We'll
celebrate when you get here," Mom said in her sweetest voice.
In unison we replied, "Thanks."
"So you stayed your entire time at the cabin?" asked Dad.
"Yeah, we did. There's la lot to tell about it, but not on the
phone. When we see you we'll fill you in on the details." I said.
"Now, Ryan, I don't think..." Mom started to say.
"Mom, for heaven's sake, not THOSE details, I told them with a
stifled laugh.
Sean burst out laughing and suddenly everyone was laughing
boisterously. When we quieted down a little and caught our breath,
the conversation went on. We agreed to let Mom and Dad know within a
couple of days when we would arrive in Florida. We would rent a car
so that they had no need to pick us up at the airport. What could we
bring? Absolutely nothing we were told.
"We promise we will call you mid-week. We love you two a lot. Stay
safe and healthy. Oh, yes, and have us tell you about our near awful
automobile experience," I told them.
"Just a minute, Ryan. You tell us that now, right now. This is your
Dad speaking," he told us.
Slowly Sean and I related the near accident to them. We didn't leave
out any of the details. Sean even told them about my nightmare, but
he didn't tell them the cure. Finally they were satisfied that we
were unhurt, they hesitantly let us say goodbye. Sean walked over to
me and hugged me tightly.
"It was great to hear from them. Tomorrow I think I will call Auntie
Em and tell her about Christmas and vacation. Yeah, that's what I am
going to do," he said.
"You are so cute, so handsome, so sexy. I am so lucky, so happy.
Thank you for loving me, Baby," I told him and kissed him softly on
the lips, my tongue flicking his lips. He pulled me tighter to
himself and opened his lips. My tongue pushed into his mouth and
explored. He was moaning. I could feel our cocks growing harder.
"Ry, Hon, please let's wait until later. I want to take you to
lunch. Then I am bringing you home and having you for dessert."
I just smiled.
********
III
We enjoyed the rest of Saturday
as well as Sunday. It was leisurely, secure, and filled with
happiness. It was becoming quite clear to both of us, that just
being together, joking around, getting meals, just living, brought
joy into our lives. As the sun went down on Sunday night, we
realized that this idyllic time of our lives was coming to an end.
There was the matter of continuing with our day-to-day lives. We
didn't regret that, but we knew that it meant less time to enjoy our
togetherness in simple honest ways.
We made gentle, fulfilling love that night. Being together as one,
was a pleasure without definition. I think we both had some concern
about the next day at State. After some small talk and some gentle
kissing and caressing, we slowly drifted off into a refreshing
sleep. Tomorrow would be tomorrow and we would deal with it then.
********
Monday morning was a series of
laughable collisions, misplaced materials, lost keys, a lousy
breakfast, and a very late start to State. Luckily we were able to
laugh at most of the chaos of the morning, both swearing that things
had to improve of we would both be insane by Friday.
The usual drive to State gave us a few moments to discuss our day. I
assured Sean that I wanted him to come to my office whenever he
wished. He just smiled at me. I, of course, melted a little. A quick
kiss after we arrived, a promise to meet for lunch, and we were off;
Sean to Anne Milne's class and me to Cathy's office. Lunchtime
seemed days away as I hurried across the quad to Cathy's office. In
my mind's eye I could see my beautiful Sean striding toward his
class, turning, smiling and waving good-bye to me. I was happy.
When I reached Cathy's office, I stopped outside and sort of pulled
myself together. I wanted to look normal and not too happy or silly,
like the newlywed that I was. I opened the door and walked into the
outer office.
"Professor Taylor, welcome back. It's so good to see you. Dr.
Sorenson and I have discussed your wedding many times. It was just a
wonderful day for everyone. And now, sir, you have made it clear to
everyone that you have one, and only one, person you will love until
death. That's pretty impressive to me, sir. I think the world of
you." Cindy told me.
"Thanks, Cindy. I do love Sean to the exclusion of anyone else. Dr.
Sorenson wanted to see me this morning. Is she free and able to see
me now, or should I come back later?" I asked.
"She's waiting for you. She cleared her calendar for you this
morning. Go right in; she's expecting you."
With that reassurance, I knocked on the door to Cathy's office. For
some reason I was very apprehensive.
"Come on in, Ryan."
I entered the room to find that Cathy had moved from behind the desk
and was walking in my direction. She gave me a strong hug and a kiss
on the cheek. It surprised me a little, but I returned the
affection.
"Have a seat, Ryan. There are a couple of matters that I need to
discuss with you. I'll start with the pleasant one and then move on
to the next."
"That sounds a little disconcerting, Cathy. Have I done something I
shouldn't have done? If I screwed up, please handle that one first,
then the good news."
"Oh, goodness, I really flubbed that up. The unpleasant thing I
wanted to discuss with you, has nothing to do with you or Sean.
Guess I will start there. There have been some deeply disturbing
complaints coming from other people who are living in the same
building as Kevin and Jerrod."
"What kind of complaints?"
"Well, there has been some loud arguing, things being thrown, very
offensive language. His department chair called Kevin in to discuss
it with him. He told her, and I am quoting now, 'Look bitch, it's
none of your fucking business. It's personal business and I don't
have the time or the inclination to discuss it with you.'"
"He just left her there. She was a wreck. She called me and was very
close to firing Kevin. I talked to her for a long time and asked her
to wait until you returned and had a moment to talk with him. Do you
want to do that, Ryan, or would you rather stay out of it? You do
have a choice you know," Cathy said quietly.
I sat without speaking for a long time. Cathy busied herself by
signing a number of papers on the desk. I wondered, 'What the hell
am I supposed to do? If Kevin and Jerrod are fighting, then they
have to figure a way to come to some sort of agreement. What could I
do to help that along?' I was very uncertain about doing anything.
Finally I spoke to Cathy,
"Frankly, Cathy, I am not sure what I can do. I definitely won't do
anything until I talk with Sean. The whole thing overwhelms me. Why
would they be fighting; they are so much in love? It sounds serious.
Let me think about it until after lunch. I will see Sean then and we
can discuss it. Is that okay with you, Cathy?" I asked.
"That's fine, Ryan. It's the answer I expected from you. Let me know
so that I can let his department chair know. Now the next matter.
Ryan, the National Association of Professors of English has
requested your attendance in mid May at their National Conference.
They want you to deliver your paper on Shakespeare's Women. State
will pick up the tab. You should really attend, Ryan. I know that it
will be almost impossible for Sean to go with you. He will be having
final exams and there is no way that even I can get an exception for
him to take his exams at any other time. I tell you that now, as I
do not wish it to be a problem later. Please think carefully about
this, Ryan. It is a wonderful opportunity for you, and frankly it
will do a great deal for State's reputation, too."
"Wow! Sure I want to go. But, Cathy, I can't give you an answer
until I talk it over with Sean. I imagine that he will support it,
but I want him to know all the details. Where is it, anyway?"
"This year it is in Denver. That should be a pleasant three days, I
would think."
"Yeah, Denver will be lovely in May. So now I have two things to
discuss with Sean. It should be an interesting lunch. You know,
Cathy, that I am honored by this invitation, and even more so by
your support, which I know had much to do with State picking up the
tab. You do realize, don't you, that Sean will probably want me to
fly first class with him footing the bill. I will keep him in check,
Cathy. Thanks so much."
"Look, Ryan, if this should present a problem for you and Sean, just
say no. Your life together is much more important than this meeting.
Don't jeopardize it. That's your friend speaking, Ryan."
"How can I not think the world of you, Cathy. I will be careful and
I assure you that Sean comes first. I will see you later today, or
early tomorrow morning."
We said our good-byes and I left the office. Since I did not have a
class for over an hour, I went to my office to do some additional
reading and to gather materials for my first class of the day . The
first thing I noticed was the amount of mail that I had to read and
separate. I didn't even look at my e-mail messages, as I knew there
would be many of them. I pulled the book of commentaries about
Shakespeare's women from the shelf and settled into my chair. I
began reading, but had not finished the first sentence when Sean
came bounding through the door, flushed and excited.
"Oh, my God, Ry, it's terrible. It's just awful. I don't know what
to do. Ry, I need your help," he said as he gasped for air.
"Baby, what's the matter. You look a fright. Are you okay?
"It's Jerrod and Kevin. It's just terrible. They are splitting up.
Jerrod can't deal with Kevin's jealousy anymore. They have been
fighting a great deal, and on Sunday, Kevin hit Jerrod. Ry, Jerrod
is so scared that he doesn't want to go back to the apartment. He
slept in their living room. Kev stopped talking to him. It's
terrible, Ry. What do we do?"
"Where's Jerrod right now, Sean?"
"He's in the cafe. He's really scared, Hon. He told me he was afraid
that Kevin would kill him. I can't imagine that. What has happened?"
"I don't know what happened, but I guess I am going to have to deal
with this now. I had hoped I could wait until after lunch, but I can
see I can't."
"You already know about it? Who told you?"
"Cathy told me this morning. She didn't tell me that Kevin had hit
Jerrod. She said there had been complaints about the noise and
arguing. This sounds much more serious. Look Sean, go and tell Rog
what's happening and ask him if you can miss his class as I want you
to stay with Jerrod."
"Okay, Hon. What are you going to do? Be careful, Hon, I don't want
you to get hurt."
"Well, I am going to call Kevin and see if he will speak with me,
first on the phone and then in person. If he is too angry, I will
stay out of it. In any case, we will take Jerrod home with us. We
have to keep him safe. Now get going, Baby. Give me a quick kiss
first."
Sean came to me and kissed me long and gently. As he pulled away
from me, he said softly, but with fear in his voice,
"Please, Ry, please be careful. If anything happened to you, I don't
know what I would do. Please, I love you so much."
"I'll be careful, and I love you, too, Baby."
With another quick kiss, he was out the door. I stood there for a
moment in something equivalent to a trance. Finally, I sat down
again, reached for the phone, and dialed Kevin's extension. The
phone rang three times and I was about to hang up when Kev answered
the phone.
"This is Kevin Reading, may I help you?"
"Kev, this is Ryan. Can you talk; or do you have a client?"
"I can talk."
"Do you want to tell me what's happening between you and Jerrod?
Kev, he's scared to death of you and of going home."
There was a long silence, but I could hear the muffled sounds of an
anguished sobbing. I didn't interrupt. I waited. Finally, Kev began
talking, most of the time working to keep his composure, stifling
sobs, gasping for breath.
"Ry, I...I don't know what came over me. I am so ashamed. I love him
so much, and now he hates me. I don't blame him. He can't hate me as
much as I hate myself."
"What happened, Kev? What did he do? Why did you lose control of
yourself and hit him. That's not the Kevin I knew, or know now."
"It started out as a simple little thing. I saw Jerrod talking with
Jose Torres in the cafe. They were having a very animated chat, so I
left them alone. When they finished lunch and left, I followed them,
meaning only to get a moment with Jerrod before I had to get back to
the office. Well, anyway, as I was coming out of the cafe, I saw
Torres grab Jerrod and give him a very strong kiss. Jerrod didn't
protest or move away. I was upset, but hurried to the office without
confronting Jerrod."
"You should have said something right then, Kev. I know you too
well. You just let that incident fester all afternoon until you got
home. Right?"
"Of course you're right, Ryan. I was getting angrier and angrier
waiting for Jerrod to show up. He came dashing into the apartment in
his usual happy-go-lucky way, came to me and tried to kiss me. I
pushed him away. At first he thought I was being playful, but the
second time he tried to kiss me, I shoved him pretty hard and he
fell over the hassock and onto his back on the floor. He looked
stunned, but I didn't give a shit. That's when I started shouting at
him."
"For God's sake, Kevin, what did you say."
"I don't know if I can tell you, Ryan. I said some terrible things.
I called him a cheap whore. I told him he was indiscriminate, that
he was out trolling for a Hispanic cock. I told him nothing would
satisfy his fucking asshole. I asked him how many guys had fucked
him. I told him I thought he was getting it regularly at the gym. I
wanted to know how many guys he took on at the same time. I said a
lot more, too. No, I didn't SAY it, I screamed and shouted it. I
threw books and a couple of dishes. I was in a horrible rage."
"What about Jerrod? Did you check to see if he had been hurt? Did he
try to tell you anything?"
"Oh, yes, he tried. But I wouldn't let him talk. Finally I pulled
him up from the floor. I told him to get his well-plowed ass out of
the apartment and not to come back until late so that I would be in
bed and wouldn't have to deal with him. He was sobbing, trying so
desperately to talk to me, but I wouldn't have anything to do with
him. He left, and I was filled with despair and I broke down and
cried like I have never cried before. Ryan, I wanted to die. But
instead, I stumbled to the bedroom, took two sleeping pills, fell on
the bed and went to sleep."
"Weren't you worried about Jerrod?"
"No, at that particular moment, I didn't care what happened to him.
I felt betrayed. I hated him, but I hated myself even more."
"Did he come home that night?"
"Yeah, I found him asleep on the sofa when I got up the next
morning. When I saw him I wanted to kiss him, to ask him to forgive
me, but my pride got in the way. Then the betrayal thing came back,
and I found myself wanting to hurt him. Instead, I went to the
kitchen and brewed a pot of coffee. While I was in the kitchen,
Jerrod apparently got up, changed his clothes, and left. I didn't
know where he had gone, and I was half-crazy with fear as the day
went on.
Finally, it must have been about two o'clock in the morning when he
came in. I confronted him, demanding to know where he had been, who
he had been with, what they had done. His eyes were wide with fear
and he moved away from me as I tried to get closer to him. It was
awful Ryan. He tried so desperately to tell me.
He had been in the movie theatre until it had closed. Then he went
to the all-night Wendy's and stayed there until he thought I was
asleep. Then he came home. I told him he was a fucking faggot liar.
He begged me to listen, to hear what he had to say, but the more he
begged me the angrier I got. Finally, I told him to shut his fucking
lying mouth, or I would. He pleaded with me to listen. That's when I
hit him. I knocked him to the floor and I saw the blood running out
of his mouth. I went to him, but he pulled away from me in fear. I
cursed myself, the world, and God, then ran into the bedroom
slamming the door behind me."
"You mean you didn't see how much you had hurt Jerrod? Kevin, what
the fuck's the matter with you?"
"He didn't want me near him. He is afraid of me. I can't blame him.
I acted terribly. I didn't realize that jealousy could be so all
encompassing. If I didn't love Jerrod with my whole being, I
wouldn't care. But Ry, I love him so much. And now, he...he..," then
came the uncontollable sobs that shook Kev's body.
"Look, buddy, you have to make amends with him. He's so scared of
you, Kevin, that he doesn't want to come back to you. He left you,
Kevin, and with good reason. You were a stupid son-of-a-bitch. You
ought to have your ass kicked from here to China. Now, you stupid
bastard, what are you going to do about this? Tell me, and shut off
the damn tears. If anyone has a right to cry, it's Jerrod. You
realize he really doesn't know what the hell you were talking about.
From what you told me just now, you never mentioned Jose Torres. How
did you expect him to know? You never gave him an opportunity to
explain. It's too fucking much to believe."
"I know. Maybe I should just let it go. Maybe this is my punishment
for all the stupid things I have done. Maybe this terrible pain of
losing the one person I love is my reward for having dumped you all
those years ago."
"Listen, turd brain, you have to do one thing. It's very important,
probably the most important thing you have ever done in your entire
life. You have to let Jerrod know how much you love him. He needs to
know that. Then he has to decide what to do. He is going to need
time, Kevin. It won't be the same for a while. He has to learn to
trust you again, to love you again. Man, Kev, you really fucked this
up something fierce."
"I know. How can I tell him how I feel? He won't come here; he won't
come home. I can't do it in a public place. I'm screwed."
"Kev, if I hurry over to your office can you talk with me for ten
minutes. I have an idea, but I want to think some more about it and
then I'll be ready to share it with you. I'll need about ten minutes
before I can get there."
"Please, Ryan. Anything you can do that will help. Thanks. I'll be
waiting for you."
As I hung up the phone, I thought, 'Kev, my old friend, my idea
isn't worth shit unless someone else agrees.' That's why I had to
stop at the cafe on my way to Kev's office.
********
When I got to the cafe and saw
Sean and Jerrod sitting at the back in a private sort of corner, I
was disconcerted by how bad Jer looked. He was pale, his eyes were
red and swollen from crying, he had a blackened eye, and he was bent
over like an old man, not the vigorous young man I knew and had seen
only days before. I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself so
that I wouldn't appear surprised by Jer's looks.
"Hey guys, had any snacks?" I asked as I walked to the table.
"Ry, thanks for coming by to check on us. Jer seems okay. You are
okay, aren't you?" asked a very concerned Sean.
"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. Hi, Professor."
"Hey, Jer, is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.
"No, I just want to go home. I want to leave this place. I don't
ever want to see Kev again. He hurt me, Professor. He always said he
loved me, but he hurt me. I thought he was going to kill me." Jerrod
said with tears streaming down his face. How would I ever be able to
handle this mess?
"Jerrod, I talked with Kev just a few moments ago. He's a mess. He
hates himself. He is so afraid that you will hate him forever. He
wants a chance to talk with you."
"No, no, I can't do it. No, I won't do it," said Jer first softly
and then very loudly.
Sean looked first at me and then at Jer. He looked flustered. I
wondered what he would say or do.
"Jer, we will never make you do anything you don't want to do.
Relax, we are your friends; we love you." whispered Sean.
"I know, but damn it, I am so afraid. I have been hurt more
psychologically than physically. Kev has destroyed the trust I had
in him. He has shaken my love, almost destroyed it. I don't think I
dare speak to him alone. I won't go back to his apartment, ever. I
can't. Please, Professor, don't make me."
"Jer, I would never make you do anything. You would have to decide
if it's important enough that you want to do it. Look, Jer, I have
an idea. Will you listen to it?"
"Jer, please listen to Ry. I know he wants to help," said Sean.
"Okay, I'll listen, but I'm not promising anything."
"I want you to come home with Sean and me. I want you to get a good
night's sleep, some good food, and some time to think about what you
want to do. I thought that maybe, if you feel okay about it, that
when you are ready, we could invite Kev over and you two could talk
out what happened. We'll be there to protect you, Jer. We won't
leave you alone with Kev, not until you feel comfortable with him.
What do you think?"
"Professor, I don't know. I want to come home with you guys, but I
don't know about seeing Kevin again. I have to think about that."
"Okay, then this is how we will do it. You will come and stay with
us. If you decide you want to speak with Kevin, even if it is to
tell him how much he hurt you, than we'll arrange it, but we won't
leave you alone. If after some thought, you still want to go home,
we'll help get your stuff together and call your parents. We'll even
be sure that you have transportation home."
Sean asked, "What do you think, Jer?"
"Okay. But, please, give me some space, some time. Please?"
"You have it," I assured him.
"Thanks, Professor Taylor. You are as wonderful as Sean is always
telling me. He's so lucky."
"I'm not as wonderful as Sean probably makes me out to be, but I
don't welsh on a promise. I'm off to see Kev, now. I am sure that he
will accept the plan. He misses you a great deal, Jer. He is very
depressed, despondent really. Sean, I think you should take Jer home
and get him into bed. Set the alarm and come back to your classes.
He will sleep the rest of the day."
Sean grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Okay, Ry. Be careful. I love
you."
"That feeling, my life partner, is mutual," I said as I left the two
guys at the table and hurried away to Kev's office.
As I walked toward Kevin's office, an amazing thought crossed my
mind. 'Returning to State had not been boring.'
It wasn't ten o'clock in the morning yet, and already it had been
quite a day.
To be continued...
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