All for Acceptance

By: Rod
(© 2010 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 6

Several months before-

The apartment almost seemed like the morgue he had just left.  Allan had seen his mother’s body in the hospital morgue just hours ago.  The hospital had tried to get in touch with him when she had expired but, unable to do so, they could only leave a message and it had been several hours since their call before he received the message.  The battery had died on his cell phone again and until he could get it charged he was out of touch.

The floor nurse had decided that they needed the room, so she had the body transferred off of the floor to the morgue until they could talk with the son and make arrangements.  When Allan went to the hospital he was informed that in order to see his mother he would have to go to the morgue.  It was so sterile and cold there it only made the viewing of his mother’s body all that more traumatic for him. He was all alone.  He and his mother had talked about her imminent death and he knew that certain arrangements had been made.  He was only fortunate that the funeral arrangements were prearranged.  He imagined that since his grandparents had so little to do with them they would not interfere, but then his mother was afraid they might so with everything set they would not be able to make any changes.  Allan would see that his mother’s wishes were carried out.  The costs of the funeral had been arranged as is common with the plans done ahead, but there were not any funds coming from other sources.  His mother had cashed out all of her insurance long ago for various expenses they had incurred.  The funeral arrangements took the last bit she had.  He had called the funeral home from the hospital and they sent a hearse to pick up the body and begin preparation.  They would handle everything else.  There would be no visitation; only a brief obituary would appear in the paper and a memorial service would take place at the mausoleum.  Expenses had been held to a minimum with the body being cremated and the remains interred in a special mausoleum of a nearby cemetery operated by the funeral home.

Allan went from room to room looking over what was left of their life.  There were pictures here and there, not too many.  A few pictures from his younger years held their place on the little bit of furniture occupying the living room.  A few pictures of he and his mother adorned her dresser from the day they had spent on the rides at the Mall of America Amusement Area.  His senior portrait, though only a proof, sat alone on the dresser awaiting its mounting in a frame.  His mother’s illness had taken precedence over its framing, they had not been able to afford the package the photographer had offered and settled for just the proofs.

The landlord had been sympathetic but still informed him that the rent would soon be due and if he wasn’t able to afford it, he should let him know right away so that he could at least be returned the security deposit.  After all, they were on a month to month arrangement and he didn’t particularly prefer to rent to nineteen year old by himself.  Allan had but three weeks to vacate the premises and, if the apartment was suitably left, then the deposit would be returned to him, other wise if any damage was noticed or items missing, he could loose that as well.

His mother’s wardrobe was well worn and not at all huge.   He would try to donate it to charity, that is, if they would take it.  Perhaps rather than calling them to pick things up and then be told they wouldn’t take it, he should just bag it up and drop it in one of the boxes.  They couldn’t refuse it then.  Besides if he didn’t clean their things out he could loose the deposit as well.  What little he had he could pretty well fit into his duffle bag, so once the funeral was over he’d begin to do that.  In the time he had left to stay there, he would probably use up any food supplies remaining.  If it wasn’t something he could use between now and the time he had to vacate, he couldn’t take it with him, and it shouldn’t remain to cause the forfeiture of their deposit, he would dump it in the charity collection box. 

As he was pulling out the items from his mother’s dresser drawers under some garments he found a diary.  It was locked but in another drawer he found a key that would open it. He took the diary to the living room and sitting on the couch opened it and began to read.

The diary started just after his mother had graduated from high school.  She had so many dreams then.  An argument with her parents had caused her to leave her home town in Arkansas and head to Minneapolis.  She was about to attend a secretarial college and thought that she could one day have a great job in an attorney’s office or at least something just as grand.

She attended the school; it took everything she had to be able to afford it since she didn’t have any help from home. She had worked nights in a diner not far from the manufacturing district to make her way and shared an apartment with several other girls with the similar plans.  Once graduated she thought for sure she should be able to land her dream job, but a glitch in the economy hit and after an month and a half of knocking on doors and looking for interviews she had found nothing.  One evening while working she overheard one of the customers explaining to his companion that the nearby factory had hired fifty new men and needed some office staff to handle the new load.

The next morning bright and early Allan’s mother, the very young and attractive Melinda Scott appeared at the personnel department of the factory.  A problem was being attended to by the staff on hand and the hiring manager was being reamed out by the factory manager since it seems a certain set of reports had not been completed and on the bosses desk that morning.  The hiring manager was trying to explain the problems as he noticed Melinda standing there.  He asked how he could help her and when she replied that she understood the company was in need of certain personnel and she had recently graduated from a secretarial school, she was there to apply for a job.  It took about five questions, her name, where from and when she graduated, was she familiar with shorthand, and then when could she start.  Melinda was shown to a desk and started helping with whatever anyone asked her to do, not believing she had been so fortunate.

Over the period of the next few weeks she grew more confident in her new position.  Her boss at the diner wasn’t too happy; she had been one of the best waitresses he had in his employ for a long time.  The customers all liked her and the staff would do anything to help her since she would always do the same.  He refused to let her go without a full two weeks notice, so, for the first two weeks at her new job she was still working at the diner in the evening.

There was one foreman who seemed to always be on the prowl.  Whenever he got the chance he would come through the personnel department to check out who was there.  She noticed him and it seemed he looked familiar but didn’t really give it too much thought.  The next night while on duty at the diner he came strolling in.  He seemed to get quite a smile on his face as he spotted her and moved to a spot within her station.

As she served him he started with the normal pick-up lines, but though she had heard them all before, somehow he sounded more sincere. She didn’t see a wedding ring so perhaps this guy was a possibility. After all leaving home the way she had, and working to get through school she hadn’t time for a personal life.  Maybe with the new job and this one soon ending she could afford to meet someone.  With any luck she might actually find a guy who would marry her and take her away.  That would really suit her parents since all they had drummed into her was that she wasn’t any good for anything else but a housewife, and they couldn’t even understand why she was so concerned with high school, let alone leaving and going to secretarial school.  She should have been looking for a husband and preparing to settle down right there in Arkansas near them.

She waited on the same man both nights he came in during her final two weeks at the diner.  But she also saw him daily as he made his tours through her department.  He always had something to say.  He would either comment on how well she looked that day or even tell her some short but funny joke if her boss wasn’t around to see or hear him do it.  By the middle of the second week he was asking her to go out with him.  She didn’t feel it would be proper so she kept refusing.  The last evening he would be stopping by the diner before bowling while she was still there he began asking again.  Not being at the office she didn’t feel quite as compelled to turn him down and by the time she refilled his coffee cup for the sixth time and he asked again for the sixth time she finally relented.  He rushed off to the bowling alley telling her he would be back afterwards by closing time to pick her up.  Before she could reply he was out the door.  What else could she do but be ready as they closed the diner that evening.  For the first time since going to prom with Darren Overby, a date arranged by her mother, she was going on a date with a man. 

With no one to serve the last fifteen minutes they were open, she had gone to the ladies room and refreshed her make up.  The boss was ready to lock the door to close when her date showed up to pick her up.  She didn’t seem to remember much about the evening as she spent all of her time gazing into her partner’s eyes.  He was every bit the gentleman and dropped her off at her apartment within a reasonable time. He had only given her a light peck on the cheek as he left her at her door and returned to his car.

Over the next several weeks she found herself being taken to dinner and often somewhere else afterwards, a park, or even a show.  It was always the same night of the week.  She remembered a comment about bowling and asked him one night.  His only reply was he was having a bit of a problem with a foot and had taken some time off from bowling for the time being.  Besides, he much preferred to be keeping her company instead.

By the second month of their weekly dates, he took her out to the country for a drive.  The next thing she knew she was in the back seat engaged in something she had only read about but certainly never experienced.  Still the gentleman he straightened his clothes, assisted her in taking care of hers, then promptly drove her home, this time giving her much more of a kiss than just a peck on the cheek.

They continued dating for several weeks and when she felt that female intuition that something might be wrong, quietly sought out a clinic to confirm or deny her fears.  It can only be said as was commonly termed at the time, the rabbit died.  She was with child.  The next time she saw her new suitor, or so she thought, she decided that she should tell him what the doctor told her.  Surprised at his callous response, she found herself very unceremoniously dropped off at her doorstep.  He drove away without comment.

When he did not come through the department for a couple of days she began to worry and for the first time though perhaps she should find out more about this individual and fellow employee.  As she was accessing the personnel files she decided to look up his file.  She was shocked to find that he was listed as married, with one child, a son. Now she understood the reason she had only seen him on the one night of the week. It was his bowling night and he could come up with an excuse to be out.

Her pregnancy was for the most part uneventful.  She had tried to talk to her mother but, when her mother learned of her predicament, she hung up after telling her not to call again.  Her roommates were supportive, but let her know that they could not have a baby join them in the apartment.  The company insurance would cover through the birth expenses, but her boss let her know that it would not be possible for her to return after her maternity leave, after all who was to care for the child.

Not receiving any support from the father, she decided that somehow she would survive; she would raise her son by herself.  She would never tell her son of his father, at least not the truth.  Her only revenge had been that when her son was born, she had taken the first and middle name of the father’s other son and reversed them when filling out the birth certificate.  She had given her son her last name, but the first and middle names were from another.

Allan read and read hoping to see his father’s name somewhere in the diary, but to no avail. The only entry he found was that of initials not a name.

It had been difficult over the years, but somehow he had at least gotten to be known by his grandparents.  They didn’t really want to do anything for him, but had at least recognized that he was of their blood.  He had called them to tell them the news and wasn’t surprised when they had taken it so stoically.  They would come for the service, in a way they wanted to satisfy themselves that she had actually passed.  Since they wanted to see the body before cremation, they would arrive at least a day ahead in order to do so.  Allan had conferred with the funeral home and since everything was being done rather quickly and orderly without great fanfare it would be no problem to arrange a viewing prior.

Allan continued to read and could feel his mother’s anxiety as they had faced life together.  She was always so proud of her son’s accomplishments but felt inadequate in her ability to provide for him.  When he was involved in the snowmobile accident it had torn her apart and felt it unfair that God would take out his vengeance on her through her son.

In tears Allan finally read the last entry where his mother had stated that the illness that overcame her was finally going to take her away and she could only pray that Allan would find what he needed to succeed in life, find what she had never been able to provide.  Perhaps he could find his father and somehow win him over to make up for all the things he had denied his son over the years.

Allan could not fathom how he could locate this father only knowing initials and that his names were a reversal of his half-brothers.

At the funeral service he had managed to corner his grandmother and taking advantage of her desire to speak ill of her daughter, his mother, the name of his father had slipped through his grandmother’s lips.  He now had a last name to research.  As soon as they had left to return to Arkansas, he began the job of removing that which had been theirs from the apartment.  His mother was laid to rest and once the apartment was cleared he had a mission.

He did get the deposit returned and that, along with what little he could scrape up, supported him for the next month or so.  He spent his days split between the library doing whatever research he could and trying to do whatever work he could find to provide sustenance. 

“Travis, I knew before we met that there was a connection between us, family wise that is.  I didn’t know how you would accept it though and I was afraid if I told you I would never see or hear from you again. Your father and mine are one and the same, Jamison Wainman.”

“How could that be?  He was married to my mother and died when I was fifteen you’re eight years younger than I.  I was around seven when you were born.”

“My mother Melinda and your father had an affair, when I was conceived and your father was told, he decided to fade out of the picture. They both worked for the same company, your father as a foreman and my mother in the personnel department, at least until I was born.  Your full name is Travis Allan Wainman, mine is Allan Travis Scott.  My mother gave me her last name but had found out that your father was married and had a son so as a type of revenge, reversed your name when she named me.  It was her way of admitting how things had gotten screwed up.  She had hoped that I could find my father and somehow he would make things right for me.  I know now that would never have happened.  When I found about his death, I found your name and then, through research, found out how successful and great a guy you were.  I couldn’t believe I could be so fortunate and could only hope you could in some way see to help me.  I never believed how much I could fall for someone when I maneuvered our meeting.  I fell in love with you the minute I saw you and became more afraid each day what might happen if you learnt the truth.”

“That bastard!  That homophobic bastard!” shouted Travis.

“I’m afraid as it turns out, in fact, I am the bastard and you are the legitimate son!”

“Don’t you ever call yourself that again!  You have been without a father all of your life because he was never man enough to take care of you as he should have.  His death came about because he was trying to come after me with a shotgun and fell, causing it to go off and kill him instead.  I can understand your fear and, if I had been given your circumstances before we had ever met I don’t know just how I would have handled it.  But, that’s not the case. When we met I feel in love with you instantly, without reservation, the fact that you are my half-brother, well, I don’t really care.  I only care that you are with me now and I don’t every want to be without you again.”

“You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that.  If you sent me away I don’t know what I’d do, I don’t think I would want to live!”

“I don’t want you to ever leave.  I want us to grow old together.  After all, we are uncles to a pretty special little guy who loves you just as much as I know you have come to love him.  With a little work I think we all can survive very happily.  Welcome home my brother and my love.”

To be continued...

A special thanks to Jesse Mercer for editing.

Posted: 09/24/10