A Marine Called Jason
(Revised)
by: Peter

(© 2007-2015 by the Author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

The Epilogue Chapters

Epilogue Chapter 26 

I had never dealt with cancer before and Jason’s health deteriorated faster than I expected. I still wanted him to seek treatment but after going with him to the doctor I was convinced that it would be pure misery and in the end, hopeless. Jason was dying.

We managed the pain but he was losing weight.  I tried to keep him well fed but his appetite worked against me. He said eating was only feeding the cancer anyway. I made another emotional plea for him to go for treatments but he was adamant and I came to realize that I was begging for myself.  I was so ashamed.  I reverted back to just being there for him, as he’d asked. I suggested that he should be in the hospital or at least in a cancer care center but he refused. 

“They can’t do anything more than you’re doing. Unless it’s getting to be too much,” he said.

“No. Absolutely not,” I declared.

“Then I prefer to die at home.”

That was my preference, too. I considered it an honor more than duty, to take care of him.

I stood my ground against his refusal to let me call the boys. Not directly, but I called Kyle and told him he needed to come home but not to mention that I’d called. Kyle was shaken. He saw Jason’s condition and insisted that he be in the hospital.  Together, Jason and I explained the situation, and Jason told him he wanted to die at home. Hearing those words was more than Kyle could take. He rushed out of the room sobbing.  He took a hiatus to stay and help take care of Jason

Very soon Jason took to our bed.  He said he should take to one of the boys’ beds—that I shouldn’t have to share a bed with a dying man—but it was my turn to refuse. On good days I managed to get him downstairs to sit out on the porch. It was his favorite place to be.

On really good days when he felt like sex, I gave it to him. Once I sucked his cock, kneeling at the porch swing. Another time he fucked me in the porch swing. I rode him.  And another time he bent me over the porch railing and fucked me.  That was one of his really good days, but it left him so weak and exhausted I had to help him back to the porch swing.

“We probably shouldn’t do that again,” I said jokingly.

“What, you’re afraid it might kill me?” he joked.

It was the last time we had sex.

I called Scott Hendricks and he brought Heath along and they helped move our bed down to the living room.  But that left the bathroom upstairs. 

“Hell, we can put in another bathroom,” Scott said. “I can round up a couple of guys; we can have you an extra bathroom in a couple of days.”

Jason kept putting it off but we had to tell the boys. Kyle was going crazy holding it in, especially from his brother. Finally, he bit the bullet and talked to Jason.

“You know we’ve all respected you greatly but I’m afraid this is one time I’m going to have to defy you.  I’m getting in touch with Devon and then the rest of the guys. They have a right to know.”

“You’re right,” Jason said.  “I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t know how to tell them.”

I was surprised how he took over. He contacted the Red Cross to arrange for the call to Germany. When the call came he went to the kitchen to take it. It was no doubt the hardest thing he ever had to do; telling his brother that his father was dying. They had their moment then we rolled Jason’s bed to the kitchen so he could talk to Devon and we went outside.

“Geezuss! Why is this happening, Dad!” Kyle lamented. “You guys had such a great life together.”

“Nothing can take that away from us. I will always have that, and so will he.  He’ll take it with him,” I said.

“Do you think there’s a distinction in sexuality in heaven? Are there gays and straights, and they’re sent to different rooms or something?”

“I don’t know if there is sexuality in heaven, or if there is any need for it. But I know we’ll be together again one of these days and it won’t be our sexuality that brings us together but the love we shared.”

“How long has he got?”

“The doctors said six months. But the way he’s deteriorating, it won’t be that long.”

“You seem to be holding up well.”

I shook my head. “It’s tearing my guts out. But I can’t let him see that. You didn’t say; is Devon getting leave?”

“Yes, the Red Cross is helping with it. We need to notify the others.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll do it,” he said.

Nolan and Jordan were the first to come home, in time to help install the new bathroom. And they took their turns sitting with him.

“I hate this, having everybody fussing over me,” Jason complained.

“Get over it,” Nolan said.

“Yeah, like we hated you fussing over us,” Jordan added.

Devon was granted compassionate leave and was home in three days. Kyle met him at the airport and tried to prepare him on the drive home but nothing could have prepared him for his father’s condition. He tried to put up a good, tough, Marine front but quickly broke down over Jason’s bed.

Jason comforted him as he knelt beside the bed.  “All good things have to come to an end, and I’ve had one hell of a good life,” he told him, patting him on the shoulder.

“You have to fight this; I can’t let you go, Dad,” he sobbed.

“Well, Son, I’m afraid that’s way above your pay grade, and mine.” He reached down and slid his hand under Devon’s chin and lifted his head up so they were eye to eye.  “You’re a Marine, Son; you can weather this.  You’ll have Jake by your side. He’s got to be your focus, like Brad’s been mine. Stand together and don’t let anything bring you down.  Not even this.” He smacked him gently on the cheek.  “Everybody’s got to die someplace, sometime. The hell of it is, you don’t get to choose the time or the place. I hate this. I wish it could be something that’d at least make front page but I’ve had my glory days.  More’n I deserved.” He was quiet then, and dropped his arm.  Devon remained on his knees beside the bed till Jason dozed off.

When he came out to the kitchen he asked if we’d called Jake.

“Yes,” Kyle replied.  “The Red Cross is working on it but since he’s not officially family they don’t know if he can get compassionate leave. But he will be here as quickly as possible; the lady assured me of that.”

It was gut wrenching to watch the boys’ reactions when they arrived and saw Jason’s condition. They were upset that he refused treatments but I withheld judgment on the matter and insisted they do the same. He was his own man; it was no time for me to step in and try to take that from him. Devon was firm on it, too, honoring his father’s wishes.  

“He said he could poison himself with all the drugs and die in the end, or he could let his life run its course,” Devon told his siblings.  “It’s not that he’s giving up, he simply wants to die on his own terms and we have to respect that.” 

They agreed among themselves that they should space their visits because having too many of them there at the same time was too much for Jason. He was adamant about directing attention from himself and when the boys visited he refused to discuss his health with them.  The boys managed to laugh that it pissed him off that his life couldn’t end more heroically.

I was amazed at the food being brought in. Steve Hendricks came with his wife who brought a potato casserole and two pies, along with a small register that she said I could use to keep track of all the dishes being delivered for writing thank you notes later. I hadn’t thought of that. There were so many; from my boss and his wife, from the wives of the guys I worked with, and also from Jason’s fellow workers. We got food from people we’d never heard of. Even Jenna Hendricks had a large ham delivered, and the boys we’d trained came with a huge bag of fried chicken, biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy. They were so out of place and at a loss for words but one of them asked if they might see Jason.

“Of course, he wouldn’t want you to leave without saying hello,” Kyle told them and he showed them into the living room where Jason was propped up to a sitting position. Jason’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“How’re you guys doing?” he asked, putting out his hand to Reiner who was standing the closest. 

“We’re doing good, Sir,” Reiner said as he Reiner snapped to attention and saluted before he took his hand.

The next boy followed his lead.

“You boys don’t have to salute and call me sir anymore.  You can call me Jason now.”

“No, Sir, we can’t do that,” Marcus said.

Seb laughed and said, “Reiner would kick our asses if we called you by your first name.”

 Jason smiled and said, “I guess we trained you too well.”

My brother and his family came to lend a hand.  Hunter and Melissa were especially devastated.

I talked to Jason in private about his brother.  “I have no idea how to get hold of your brother,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, and that was the end of it. “But there is something else I wanta talk about.  If it’s not too much trouble I would like my ashes taken back to Vietnam.”

I stared at him, blankly, stunned.  “You never mentioned cremation before,” I said.

“Never got around to it.”

“Of course I’ll do it, but you know the boys will want an open casket.”

“I thought of that. Have an open casket at the wake. For the funeral the casket would be closed anyway, but it’ll just have part of my ashes in it. The boys will have their gravesite. Then you take a trip to Vietnam and hire a helicopter to take you up and toss my ashes to the four winds over the jungle.  Then maybe visit some old haunts if they’re still there. I don’t want to put any undue burden on you, Brad; it’s just a whim.”

“No, it’s not a whim; you’ve thought this out. Of course I’ll do it.”

I decided to have hospice come in once a week in an advisory capacity. The fifth week, the nurse said we should call all the family.  He was not going to last out the six months.  They had all been notified but Nolan or Jordan called them again and told them to up their plans.  In two days all of the boys were there except Jake and Colby.  They took over Jason’s care, they bathed him, they fixed the meals; I saw to nothing, except Jason was seldom out of my sight. I spent the nights with him in our bed and much of the days beside it. I didn’t even know where everyone was sleeping. 

“I think you’d better call our priest,” Jason told me.

“Colby’s on his way,” I said.

“It’s not everybody lucky enough to have his own priest,” he said. Then he said, “We never got to Tuscany.”

“No we didn’t.”

“You go,” he said, reaching for my hand.  I took his hand.  “You go rent a villa and find yourself a hot, young Italian stallion and fuck each other’s brains out.”

I only smiled while I cried inside. Why, oh why hadn’t we gone to Tuscany instead of Key West!

When Colby arrived and he saw Jason’s condition he told us all to leave the room. There were some confused looks till he explained that he wanted to give Jason a chance for a last confession. I wondered if he’d ever made a first confession, and one of the boys threw in some dry humor with, “That’s gonna take a while.”

After a half hour or so Colby opened the door and waved everyone back in the room and he administered Last Rites. I never did know if Jason made a last confession.

I had the doctor come out to the house for what would be his last visit. Everyone was gathered in the living room where the bed was.

 “Are these all your boys?” the doctor asked. 

“You could say that,” Jason replied.

The doctor did a cursory examination and asked him if he was in pain.  He said no.

“Well, then, it looks like you’re being well cared for so I will leave you in their capable hands.”

The boys staggered their visiting times after that.  I did hire a male nurse through hospice but the boys said they would take care of him so the nurse made only one visit, to instruct the boys on Jason’s care.  Kyle and Devon and I were more or less relegated to being bystanders.  The other boys bathed him, sat with him, read to him and generally kept him in good spirits, and in the final days, they sat with him in the dark, stark quiet of his dying, and they cried and held each other when he died. He died in my arms with our own Father Colby holding his hand. Devon, with a surge of strength that amazed me, stood at the head of his bed at stiff attention. He had changed into his uniform at the last so Jason could have his last look at him as a Marine. When he was gone they comforted Devon and Kyle and me, when I thought it was I who needed to comfort them.

Not being officially family, Jake was unable to get compassionate leave and he didn’t arrive from Korea till the very last, but he was on hand to comfort Devon. I didn’t know who picked him up at the airport but it wasn’t Devon.

Through it all, I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable. I thought I had. But when the time came; I hadn’t. When the moment was upon us and he breathed his last breath it felt like my heart was being ripped out. I’d never felt such pain in my life. The boys tried to be strong in comforting me but I knew they had their own moments out of my sight.

I was devastated to the point of being numb, and for the first time I found myself in a situation over which I had no control.  After a time, Kyle and Devon came to me and said, “We need to call someone,”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you want one of us to call?” Kyle asked.

“No, I will.”  I was surprised how calm I was when I dialed the phone. I told the operator I needed to be connected to the medical examiner or the coroner to report a death. She connected me and I very calmly gave the address and how to get there. It seemed ridiculous to have to have an official declare him dead when he’d died in my arms. The man asked if we had called the funeral home, and said he would if we wanted him to.  Devon told him, he would call.  It was a somber sight to see the hearse pull away and when it was down the lane, everyone dispersed to the four corners of the property. By that time I felt so bad for the boys that I was able to cope. And, it had not fully soaked in that the man I loved more than anyone in the world was gone. Devon stood out from the porch till the hearse was out of sight, then he broke and cried so hard he choked. God bless Jake; he held him while he cried. Seeing them, I thought there was nothing more humbling, and manly, than two strong Marines weeping.

The four of us, including Jake. went to the funeral home to make the arrangements; Devon asked if Jake could come along.  I took Jason’s discharge papers to arrange a military funeral, and finding that Devon and Jake were both still active duty Marines, Mr. Pelman, the director, said he would arrange for a Marine honor guard from the nearby Marine Reserve unit.

“Could you possibly find a Navy SEAL?” Devon asked.  “He was a SEAL before he was a Marine.”

“I’m sure I can find a volunteer; I’ll put out the word,” he said. Then he asked Jake and Devon, “Will either one or both of you be part of the honor guard?”

They both looked at me.

“Why don’t you let your comrades do the honors. The other boys will need you to stand with them.”

“Might I suggest that you stand with the honor guard to fire the salute,” Mr. Pelman told them.

“Yes,” he said.  “And Jake and I will be taking our turn at his casket.”

He asked about pall bearers. I thought the boys might want to serve as pall bearers, minus Kyle, Devon and Jake, but at the same time we all thought it would be appropriate for six Marines to carry him to his grave. We agreed on the latter; Jason deserved that honor.

“Is there any jewelry that should be removed before interment?”

I thought about it for a moment then looked at Devon.  “Do you want his ring or watch?”

“Not the ring,” he said. “That should go with him.”

“The watch, then,” I said.  “But Devon, he’s going to be cremated after the wake. I don’t think he would want that ring destroyed. Why don’t we hold it back and you can decide whether you want to bury it with his ashes or keep it.”

“Cremated?” Devon asked, surprised.

“Yes. He requested that part of his ashes be buried inside the casket so there would be a gravesite to visit.  He asked me to take the rest of his ashes back to Vietnam and scatter them from a helicopter over the jungle.  But if that’s not what you want, Devon….”

“No, no, I would never go against his wishes.  I just didn’t know, that’s all.”

“I think that’s awesome,” Jake said.

“You’re right, we should keep the ring.”

Mr. Pelman stepped in to soften the blow. “Perhaps this is a good time to go back to the display room,” he said.

I had never arranged a funeral before and I had no idea there were so many choices to be made; more so given Jason’s requests. I didn’t pick out the casket; Devon did, and I gave my nod of approval when he asked for it. Jake and Kyle stood aside and offered their approval after the decisions were made. Mr. Pelman showed us the burial urns. There was absolutely no question about the walnut urn with the Marine emblem on the front to be placed in the casket.  We also had ordered a brass plate engraved with United States Marines and Navy SEAL, Sniper/Vietnam to put on the top.

“Now, for the ashes you’ll be taking to Vietnam,” Mr. Pelman said as he took us to another display case. He took out a heavy cardboard cylindrical tube about five by three in a camouflage pattern. “It’s lightweight, perfect for travel.”

“This is perfect. I had no idea they made things like this,” I said.

“There’s one more thing I’d like to show you,” he said as he opened a drawer in the display case.  He took out a one inch bullet on a heavy silver chain. “This will hold a small amount of the ashes which can be worn as jewelry. Some people think it’s rather macabre, others think it’s a wonderful idea.”

“Count me in the latter,” I said.  “Yes, I will take one.”  I looked at Devon. He was tearing up, nodding.

“Yes, I can have him with me all the time,” he said.

Mr. Pelman looked around at Kyle and Jake.  “Boys?” I asked.

“No, those should be reserved for you two,” Kyle said.

“I agree,” Jake said.

“Will you furnish clothing?” Mr. Pelman asked.

I hadn’t thought about it till that moment. I wondered aloud about his uniform and whether it would still fit him. He had never outgrown it but I was afraid it might be too big now.

“Bring it in if you like and we’ll see how it fits. If there is no objection, we can tailor it to fit.”

There could be nothing on the casket except the flag so we ordered a tall stand-up military floral arrangement featuring a U.S. Marine Corp banner and a large globe-and-anchor.  The director was surprised when he asked about the clergy and we told him we had our own priest in the family.

The local paper was the only one I knew to run an obituary.  I had no idea where Jason’s brother was and we had not kept in contact with other military. Perhaps he might get the paper. 

We returned in the afternoon with Jason’s uniforms; both his dress blues and his Class B. We waited till he was dressed in the dress blues and then were shown in.

“He looks uncomfortable,” Devon said, shaking his head.

I agreed, and we asked the director to try the class B uniform.

He looked much better in that, with open collar and white T-shirt showing.  The boys agreed.  I was surprised how thick and muscular his neck still was.  I asked that his medals be removed from his dress blues and placed on the tan shirt. Mr. Pelman asked if they should remain for cremation.

I turned to Devon. “You might want to keep his medals,” I said.

“No, he earned them, they should go with him,” he said.

“Knowing what he did to earn them, I don’t think he would want them destroyed,” I said in a kindly tone.

Devon looked at Jake.

“It’s your decision but I think it’d be kind of a sacrilege,” Jake said. “And I think he would want you to have them.”

Mr. Pelman came up with the perfect solution. “I could order all new medals go to with him and you could remove the originals to keep.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” I said.

“Yes,” Devon said, nodding.  “Thanks for suggesting it.”

I was in a terrible state at the thought of leaving him alone at the funeral home.  I almost asked if I could stay the night but he would think that melodramatic.  I was comforted by the fact that the Marines would never leave him; they said they would take turns standing watch at his casket the entire night. 

I went home still in a state of numb shock. I still couldn’t get my head wrapped around it and I was numbly oblivious to everything around me. I wasn’t even sure who all was there, let alone where they were sleeping or who was preparing meals. I did know that Braden and Aaron, and Will and Luke were in a motel but they came home for meals.  Jacob and his family were also at the motel, as was his brother Petey and his family. I was vaguely aware that they were consciously keeping me out of the loop. I excused myself after supper and went up to shower and go to bed.  I think I cried as many tears as the water coming out of the shower.  I dried off and went down the hall to our room. The door was partially closed and I paused before pushing it open. For those few seconds I fully expected to find Jason in bed waiting to fuck my brains out. What terrible tricks the mind can play; the bed was empty.  Only after I got in it did I realize that it had been moved back up to our room. 

Sleep was long in coming and when it did, it was fitful, with intermittent tears.  At one point I got up and dug out Jason’s old jockstrap and put it round my neck.  Another time I was aware of someone coming in the room.

“Brad,” he said softly. It was Devon and Jake and Kyle. Devon and Jake were shirtless and I was struck by their overpowering masculinity.

“Are you all right, Dad?” Kyle asked.

“Yes. No. Hell, no,” I replied.

“Is there anything we can do?” Jake asked.

“Yes. Go make love like you’ve never made love before, and never miss an opportunity.”

They laughed and Devon leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.  Jake tugged on the jockstrap as he leaned down and kissed me.  I wasn’t the least embarrassed.

“We love you, Brad,” he said.

Kyle lingered back.  “I love you Dad, and I’m so sorry.”

Next morning my stomach was sore from crying; I didn’t realize I’d cried so much.  The day was somber but it was good to have everyone home. 

We all arrived early for the wake. Two Marines still stood guard at each end of his casket. Jake and Devon went up to thank them and then checked out the placement of Jason’s medals and to make sure his watch was running. The floral stand was magnificent.

Kyle, Devon and I took up positions at the casket with Jake standing near Devon.

Coworkers came, from my job and Jason’s. A lot of the boys’ schoolmates showed up. My brother and his family came. Scott and Heath Hendricks came and I was surprised to see Jenna Hendricks walk in with them.  She was properly cordial but we didn’t exchange any words.  The boys, looking lost, mingled, often leaning into each other, sobbing.  Jacob was kept busy keeping his kids corralled till they grew restless and their mother took them back to the motel.  The whole evening I kept an eye out for Allen, his brother.  He never came. Judge Thompson came. It seemed endless but on the other hand, it made the time pass.  It was interesting that several women came, introducing themselves as friends, and one introduced herself as Jason’s favorite waitress.

“Yes. Lisa,” I said, taking her hand.

“Oh, he spoke of me.”

“Often, and very highly,” I said.

When everyone was gone we lingered to tell Jason goodnight, then the boys all withdrew.  Devon and I returned to the casket to bid him goodnight. Kyle and Jake stood a couple of feet back.  After a moment I started to step back as well, to leave Devon alone with him but he grabbed my hand.

“Stay,” he said. “He was as much to you as he was to me. You knew him before I did.”

I appreciated his words. It was suddenly awkward. A thousand thoughts bounced around in my head but I could think of nothing to say. This was the last time I would see him. I knew that in the morning the casket would be closed, containing only the urn with his ashes.  I held his cold hand and kissed him goodnight on his forehead then left him and went home to an empty bed.

My life was in a quandary, partly because I’d gone through this before.  Not in real life, but most certainly in my head, and it was still real to me in that regard.  Still, this funeral was an event that I could not have prepared myself for.

I was numb getting ready for the funeral. The house was quietly somber. Someone asked if there was going to be anyone speaking besides Father Colby, or any special readings. I thought of one and went to the Bible to get it.

“He’s always kept a bookmark at this passage,” I said. I asked Devon if he wanted to read it.

He thought about it then asked if I would mind if Jake read it.

“Not at all.”

He asked Jake; he said he would be honored.

“The car is here,” someone said.

I looked out to see the sleek, black limo parked out front, the driver standing with the door open. 

“I didn’t know the funeral home was sending a car,” I said. 

Devon, Kyle, Jake and I rode in the limo; the other cars followed. Two Marines still stood guard at his casket which was now closed and draped with the flag. Standing at his casket, I wished I could feel more, but I was numb with grief, partly knowing that he had been reduced from the magnificent man he was to a box of ashes. Before the doors were opened the rest of the Marine honor guard came in, looking exceptionally sharp, as they tend to do. We took our seats on the large couch and comfortable chairs facing the casket. Will and Luke, and Jesse and Levi sat behind us. Several people went up to the casket to pay their respects then came over to us.  I was surprised to see the boys we’d been training walk in. They were all wearing the caps and bracelets we’d given them. It was such a poignant moment to see these teenagers paying such profound respect.

“He was a tough one,” Marcus said.

“No tougher than he had to be,” I said.

“Yeah, we’re all the better for it,” said Kurt.

“I’ll never forget him,” Duncan said.

Seb was silent; he just took my hand and nodded then stepped away.

Jordan and Nolan overheard and asked about the boys.

“Jason was training them for Marine basic training,” I said. They went over to talk to the boys.

When the time came for the service to start it gave me a jolt to see our own Father Colby walk up to the lectern. Yes, we had our own priest and I deeply respected that he had chosen that profession but it was difficult not to see him as Colby, the troubled boy who had come to us as a teenager.

“How I came to be here is a miracle in itself,” he began.  “I won’t tell the story here but every one of these men sitting here has a story to tell of how Jason and Brad set us on the straight path. And Jason….he was brutal in keeping us on it.  As for me….but for this man, and Brad”--he waved toward me—“I would’ve likely been in prison.”

I heard little of what else he said beyond that; I floated in and out. I kept trying to picture Jason in the dark, closed casket and I wondered if they had removed his watch.  Of course they had, but I pushed the cremation from my mind. I kept thinking, I’ve done this before. Colby was finished almost before he began, it seemed. He invited anyone else who wanted to, to speak.

I didn’t expect anyone would and the young man who did, I did not recognize. He came to the podium wearing Army green, bearing the rank of sergeant, with an impressive display of medals; Airborne wings and the Combat Infantryman Badge, and a Ranger tab on his sleeve. He was tall and obviously very well built.  His big, strong hands gripped the edge of the lectern.

“I met him at a bar,” he began in a strong, authoritative voice. “I was home on leave, embarrassed and ashamed and afraid to see my family. I was home but I hadn’t gone home. I didn’t know how I could face them, what I would say and I was hoping the booze would help me think up a believable story that would make me sound like the hero I wasn’t. I’d joined the Army confident and determined to be the best damned soldier ever to sign on the dotted line. I got into Ranger school and found out I wasn’t as tough as I thought. No matter how hard I tried I came up short. I finally washed out.  As the SEALs would say, I rang the bell. And there I was, parked on a barstool in my own hometown,  trying to drown my shame and embarrassment and dreaming up some way of explaining why I didn’t have a Ranger tab on my sleeve when I’d told everyone I was in Ranger school.  Still, I was in uniform and enjoying the attention that gets and trying to sound humble about my accomplishments. Humble? I was a disgrace. I even thought about skipping my family altogether and going AWOL. Jason happened to be at the bar and when all the stools between us were empty he came down and bought me a drink. We started talking and I told him my sad tale of woe. Somehow I thought he would be sympathetic.  He wasn’t. He reached over and took the beer he’d just bought me, handed it to the bartender and told him to dump it. He said he would buy me another beer when I deserved it.  He told me, Don’t disgrace yourself any further. Failure can be overcome; quitting can’t. Go back and do whatever it takes to get back in Ranger school. Beg if you have to. Whatever it takes.  But first, you have to decide if you really want it. If you don’t want it bad enough, you’ll never make it. That was the best advice I ever had.”

He turned to the casket, then and saluted. 

I was surprised then when Nolan stood and went up to the lectern. None of the boys had said they were going to speak, except for Jake doing the reading.

“My name is Nolan.  I’m one of this band of brothers you see sitting here in front.  Like Father Colby, I could’ve just as easily landed in jail.  We were troubled kids, all of us. But somehow, for some reason, we ended up with Jason and Brad. I can tell you, it’s not easy growing up under two Marines.  There were times when we thought it would be easier to run away and take whatever life threw at us, rather than live under Jason’s iron fist.  I did run away.  Jason came after me.  I was hiding in a ditch. He gave me a choice….I could come out of the ditch or he would come down after me. His exact words were, or I can come down and get your sorry ass.”

The room rumbled softly with laughter.

“I looked up at this mountain of a man and I knew there really wasn’t a choice. I was going back with him, one way or another.  Riding back with him I came to the realization that for the first time in my life….here was somebody who gave a damn.  He was never easy on us, but he was fair, and I owe my life to him.”

He came back to his seat wiping tears.

When no one else rose to speak, the director motioned for the Marines to come forward. Two of them secured the flag to the casket then the six of them took up positions to carry him out. I choked at the realization that he was leaving me and I was helpless to stop it.  The director motioned for us to follow the casket out. We stood and watched as they placed the casket in the hearse with such impressive military precision. Then the four of us got in the limo.

The Marines were already in formation at the open hearse when we arrived at the cemetery.  When we were seated the Marines snapped to attention in preparation to remove the casket and carry it to the gravesite. Jake and Devon stood at attention, saluting.  Colby stood at the end of the casket when it was set. He paused for a moment before opening his Bible to a bookmark and began to read. 

“I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

 “That is the oath that Jason took when he joined the Navy at age seventeen.  The oath his son, Devon took. The oath Brad took, and every man in uniform here today as well as many not now in uniform. I’m certain he bore true and unwavering allegiance to that oath, probably more strongly than most. Ask any man who knew him to name the man he would most want by his side in combat, or any critical situation, and Jason Seaborne would be the first name to come out of his mouth.  I didn’t know him when he was a nineteen year old warrior.  None of us did, except Brad. But any of us can tell you, that warrior spirit never waned. When there was a battle to be fought….a wrong to be righted....that spirit was there. Oftentimes those battles were with us. He sometimes let us win a battle but he vowed that we would never win the war.  And we didn’t. And that’s how and why we are here today; the boys that he rounded up when we ran away; the boy he brought out of a ditch; the boys he disciplined with an iron hand, and defended against all odds.  Underneath that tough warrior exterior, he was a pussycat.  We all knew it but we never let on.  We also knew that in a critical situation that pussycat could turn into a roaring lion to protect us. He never thought he was anyone special. We are here today to dispute that. Approach any one of these men sitting here today; they all have stories to tell.”   

He motioned then to Jake, who stood at the casket. He didn’t introduce himself but simply read the passage from John 1:1. I say simply but the way he spoke the words, it was like they were coming from the mouth of God Himself.

“I’ve been asked to read Jason’s favorite passage from the Bible. “In the beginning was the Word.  And the Word was with God.  And the Word was God.  The same was in the beginning with God.  All things were made by Him and without Him was made nothing that was made. In him was life, and the life was in the light of men; and the light shineth in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it. There was a man sent from God whose name was John. This man came for a witness to give testimony to the light; that all men might believe through him. He was not the light; but was to give testimony of the light. That was the true light which enlighteneth every man who cometh into this world. He was in the world and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not. He came into His own and His own received Him not. But as many as received Him, to them He gave power to become the sons of God; to those that believe in His name, who are born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the word was made flesh and dwelt among us; and we saw His glory, as it were the glory of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. Thanks be to God.”

He sat down and Colby stepped up again. “I will not attempt to add or detract from that favorite passage. For Jason, that about says it all.” He gave the benediction then and stood aside for the Marines to take over.

While two Marines remained at the casket Devon and Jake, moved out of the tent and took their places with the honor guard and were handed rifles. With the sharp but quiet commands the volley was fired and the guard came to attention while Taps was played.  I was determined to keep my military bearing during the beautiful, mournful tribute but I was falling apart inside.  I couldn’t believe Devon’s stern military bearing as the trumpeter honored his father.  He never shed a tear; his lip never quivered. I was so damned proud of him. As the last strains of taps were lost to the wind Devon and Jake handed over the rifles with great precision then stood outside the tent at attention and rendered salutes as two of the Marines silently and ceremoniously removed the flag from the casket and folded it with absolute precision. As Jake and Devon returned to their seats another Marine stepped forward and tucked several of the spent cartridges in the folds of the flag. Then much to my surprise, a Navy officer appeared from the side to take the flag and present it to Devon. I saw that he wore the Trident. We had requested it but I had no idea there would be a Navy SEAL doing the honors. He came squarely in front of Devon, and unlike other military funerals I’d attended, Devon stood to accept the flag.

"On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the United States Marine Corps, and a grateful Nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation of your father’s service to Country and Corps.”

The flag was exchanged, the officer rendered a three second salute and Devon returned it with his own sharp salute. Then the officer went over to the casket where he removed the Trident from his uniform and set it on the lid and with one powerful hit, drove it into the polished wood.  He stepped back and saluted then moved away and stood at attention. Devon handed me the flag and he and Jake stood and went up to the casket. They removed the Eagle Globe and Anchors from their uniforms and pounded them into the lid of the casket, then stood back and saluted. It was a very moving and well deserved show of respect.

Father Colby brought the service to a close then announced that a church was serving lunch with a special invite to the Marines and the Navy SEAL

One of the Marines came over and gave me a handful of spent cartridges.

“I thought you might want to pass these out among the boys,” he said.

The limo delivered Devon and I, and Jake and Kyle to the church. On the way Mr. Pelman handed Devon a velvet pouch.

“These are your father’s medals, and his ring.”

“Was he buried with his medals?” Devon asked with a twinge of concern in his tone.

“Yes. I obtained replacement medals for his cremation and burial. Two sets, in fact. One set was placed on his uniform and went with him. The other set is in his casket, with his ashes.

“Thank you, that was very thoughtful.”

“We will deliver his ashes to your home.”

To be continued...