Another time I saw him and Jake out by the barn talking; Jake squatted down digging a stick along the ground and Father Colby leaning against the side of the barn with one foot cocked against it. 

Even Luke had him cornered out beside one of the pickups for a time, and Jordan asked him to go upstairs where they could talk. 

As Told by Father Colby:

**(Will)

I truly had not meant to be there in a priestly capacity but these were my family and when I was asked about things religious or moral I could not shut them out. The problem I had was striking a balance between strict doctrine and the reality of who these people were. It was made easier because no one asked me to hear their confession but I was still under obligation to offer sound advice within the realm of that reality. I had expected to be drawn into the theological but not of such a personal nature.

Will was the first to approach me. He asked me if I would take a walk with him and we walked out to the fence, under the overhanging limbs of an apple tree. I was a little surprised because we had barely met, but perhaps that made it easier to approach me; someone who did not know him intimately. 

“I am being drawn into a quandary of my own making, Father,” he began.

“Those are sometimes the easiest kind to get out of, if you can retrace the path that took you there,” I said.

“Not this one,” he said.

“Alright, let’s see if we can find a new path out.”

“It’s about Luke.”

“Luke’s a fine boy,” I said.

“Yes, in so many ways,” he said. “Braden told me all about his family, about the underbelly of the lifestyle here. And everyone is aware of our lifestyle….Braden and me, and Luke and Aaron.”

“Yes, I believe there is a general and mutual understanding all around,” I said.

“He’s having a wonderful time, being accepted for who he is. He spent the night in the hayloft with Jake.”

“That is neither a condemning nor an innocent statement”

“Jake told me nothing happened. They just lay together and talked.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Yes.”

“Then…..?”

“The time is going to come, sooner rather than later I’m afraid, when Luke is going to make his feelings known to me, and I don’t know how I will handle it.”

“When that time comes you will be at a fork in the road.  The right fork takes you down a path of righteousness.  The left fork, I can tell you, has a lot of warning signs, none of which are meant to be heeded but only to lure you on.  You would barrel past them till you tumble into a raging river where the bridge is indeed out.  Unless you are willing to drown, the left fork is not an option for you. But, having said that….I’m not a parent but I’ve been around children enough to know that the worst thing they have to deal with is rejection.”

“So where does that leave us?”

I removed my collar and laid it over a tree limb.

“I was a man before I was a priest, and before that I was a horny teenager. I am still a man as well as a priest. Those urges and desires don’t go away by reason of ordination. We are not forever cleansed of impure thoughts. I see how very much you love your son and he returns that love with adoration.  You would never hurt him.”

“Of course I wouldn’t.”

“I imagine in my own mind, that anything of a sexual nature that might occur between you and your son would not be just sexual in nature.  It would be an act of love. You would not initiate it. You would not groom him for it.  By the same token, you would, in his eyes, be rejecting him.  You must make him understand that you are not rejecting him, but his advances, much like Jake must have done with him in the hayloft. Beyond that, you simply stand ready to be a loving father.”

He stood staring down at the apples on the ground.

“Wow!” he said finally, looking up.  “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I wasn’t exactly expecting your question,” I said.

“Interesting that you speak in parables,” Will said.

“I learned from the best.” 

**(Jake) 

Jake tagged me when I went out to get something out of my truck. He was out beside the barn, squatted down, looking rather pensive and digging a stick along the ground. He looked troubled. I walked over to him.

“You look troubled; what’s up?” I asked as I leaned against the side of the barn and cocked one foot back against it.

“Nothing I should trouble you with.  Besides, you don’t have your collar on.”

“I have it.  Do I need to put it on?” I asked as I pulled it out of my pocket.

“I’m sure you didn’t come here to be bothered as a priest,” he said.

“Then bother me as a friend.”

“You would still listen as a priest; you know you would.”

“So either way you get the benefit of my sage advice,” I joked.

“It’s two things, actually. I don’t know if you know or not, but Luke and I spent the night up in the hayloft.”

“It’s been rumored,” I said.

“Do the rumors say we had sex?”

“No, just the opposite.”

“We didn’t,” he said.  “He’s fourteen, father.”

“A very mature and precocious fourteen,” I said.

“Irresistibly mature and precocious.”

“But you resisted.”

“Yes.”

“Why? And if so, why are we having this conversation?”

“It could’ve easily been otherwise.  We slept naked.”

“Much to his delight, I’m sure, and yours. And a tribute to your will power.”

“It wasn’t all because Luke is so young.  Part of it was, I felt I would be cheating on Devon.”

“I never got the impression you had monogamous relationship,” I said.

“That’d be pretty impossible, us being stationed apart all the time.”

“Then why do you think it would matter to him if you’d had sex with Luke? No, Jake, I think you were guided by your conscious in regards to Luke’s youth.”

“But the thoughts I had; the desire…..holding that beautiful boy…..”

“If there was wrong in your thoughts, you dispelled it by your actions,” I said.

“He wants to have sex with his father.  I discouraged it.”

“As did I.”

He looked at me, surprised.

“He told you!”

“No. Will’s getting those vibes. Whatever, it’s still an issue between the two of them.”

“You’re a blessing, Father,” he said. 

I chuckled. 

**(Luke) 

Young Luke was coming back from the woods where he’d been swimming. He was wet and shivering in a towel.

“It’s too cold! I don’t know how they stand it,” he said, coming towards me. 

I met him half way and took the towel and began drying him off.  “Get dried off and stay out in the sun, you’ll get warmed up,” I told him.  We were near one of the pickups parked near the barn and I dropped the tailgate for him to sit on in the warm November sun.  “We’re not going to have many days like this so best take advantage of it.”

“Do you ever go swimming now that you’re a priest?”

“I haven’t, but there’s no rule against it,” I said.  “But I did when I lived here.”

“What was it like, living here with Brad an Jason?” he asked.

“Good if you toed the mark, not so good if you stepped out of line. So it really boiled down to a matter of choice.  Braden and I learned early on that it was easier to toe the mark. Nolan, on the other hand, had a problem figuring that out,” I added, laughing.

“Can I ask you a question?  It’s as a priest.”

“Of course.”

“Do people really come to you and tell you all the bad things they did?”

“Yes, it’s called confession. It’s a privilege, granted by God to wipe away your sins.”

“Do they tell you everything?”

“Well, they’re supposed to.  It’s not a good confession if they purposely hold something back.”

“I mean do boys, for example, tell you stuff like jacking off?”

“That’s pretty much a staple of confession for boys your age,” I said. “In fact, it’s the most common thing I hear about.”

“What do you say when they tell you?”

“Well, I tell them to try to refrain from doing it and find some other activity in its place.”

“Do boys ever tell you they’ve done it with another boy?”

“Yes, they’re supposed to.

“Do they tell who the other boy was?”

“Not usually, and I don’t ask.”

“Then do you hear from the other boy?” he asked.

“Sometimes I know I’m hearing from the other boy; sometimes not.”

“I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Sure you could.  You’re talking to me right now,” I said. “The only difference is, I don’t have my collar on and we’re not in the confessional with a screen between us.”

“There’s a screen between you and the boys?”

“Yes, I don’t know who is on the other side of the screen; or I’m not supposed to.”

“But you do sometimes?”

“Yes, after a while I can put voices to faces.”

“That would be embarrassing if they knew you could do that.”

“No, I’ve called a boy by name more than once in the confessional and they’re usually relieved that somebody knows and that somebody happens to be somebody they can talk to.  Then they often come around and sit facing me.  There was one boy who panicked and ran out of the confessional when I called him by name, but that only happened once.”

“I guess I can understand being relieved ‘cause I’m talking to you and you pretty much know all that’s going on here. I’m sure you know about me and Aaron.”  He laughed and went on, “It’d take a year for Aaron and me to confess everything we’ve done.”  He looked around again, then back to me.  “Did you know I spent the night up in the hayloft with Jake?”

“Yes.”

“We slept naked. What would you say if I told you that behind the screen?”

“Well, I might say it was inappropriate but if nothing else happened…..”

“Nothing did. Jake wouldn’t let it. Listen, I gotta ask you something else while I’ve got the chance,” he went on quickly.”

“Go ahead.”

“Well, I….I’ve been having feelings about my dad.  You’ve seen him; he’s a total stud.  I wanta be just like him.”

“Any boy would,” I said. 

“Well, maybe not a white boy; he wouldn’t wanta be turned black,” he said, laughing. “So I wanta know how wrong it’d be if me and my dad had sex together. Not that he would…..but if we did.”

“How wrong do you think it would be?” I asked.

“I don’t think there would be anything wrong with it because he’s my dad and we love each other. So it wouldn’t be just having sex, it’d be more like making love, that’s the way I see it.”

“When did you start having these feelings?” I asked.

“Probably a long time ago but they were more like admiration, till now.”

I had to pause a moment for thought. I gathered my thoughts and then told him, “I’m not going to attach any more wrong to it, not personally and not as a priest.  Society has already done that. The wrong in it would have to be between you and your dad. I see how close you are to him, I think you should come right out and make these feelings known to him and the two of you deal with it. He’s not going to initiate anything with you, Luke, you can be sure of that. That would have to come from you. If you did make advances I’m certain he would reject them.  You need to understand that he would not be rejecting you, but only your advances.  My best advice to you is, you should never put him in that position. Or anyone else, for that matter.  You’re young, Luke, you have plenty of time to explore your feelings.

“Sometimes I hate being young.”

“Don’t.  Don’t wish away your youth,” I told him. 

**(Jordan)

Jordan’s approach was typically Jordan. Several of us adults were sitting in the living room talking.  The television was on but muted; it might as well have been turned off except that it sometimes served as a focal point.  Out of the blue he clasped my thigh and said, “Father, we gotta talk.”  I stood and followed him upstairs. We went into one of the rooms where he sat on the lower bunk, one of the same bunks that we had slept in when we were teenagers. I stood leaning back on my hands against the wall.

“Sit,” he said, patting the bunk beside him.

I sat down.  “What’s up? Nothing serious I hope.”

“Just some stuff…..I need to clear my head.”

“Should I have my collar on?” I joked.

“No, you wouldn’t say anything different with or without your collar.  Not to me anyway.”  He was leaned forward, forearms on his knees and he clasped his big hands together.  I noticed how muscular they were.

“Hardly anyone has any secrets around here but I didn’t tell my whole story.”  He glanced around at me. 

“You don’t owe it to me,” I said.

“It’s not that.  You know I’ve had sex with about everybody here, excluding the boys. I’ve also had sex with those boys at my school….Oakley and Chris.  The thing is, I’ve had sex with them as their coach. Well, it’s not just them.  Others have been drawn into it.”

“How many others?”

“Lots.  Too many,” he replied.

“How many is too many?” I asked.

“At least a dozen more.  I didn’t draw them in, the other boys did, but I allowed it.  Welcomed it.  We discovered that old shower room when they were helping me clean and rearrange my office. Well, that’s been turned into an orgy room.  Right there in school, right under everyone’s noses. Boys are getting passes out of home room or study hall to go down and work out then they go back in the old shower room and have sex.” 

He hung his head for a moment then went on, “Sometimes I join them.  During school hours.  They’re all old enough, I’ve made sure of that. They’re all jocks so there’s a tight bond there, they trust each other, and they want me included.  I did, without hesitation, at first, when there was just me and Oakley and Chris, then even when they brought in a couple more boys. But then I started butting out. So they went on without me and before I knew it, things were getting out of hand.  One day, just before coming here, I was in my office and here comes six guys through the door.  They just smiled and said Hi and went back and let themselves into the old shower room. They asked me if I wanted to lock up and join them but I told them I had work to get caught up on before Thanksgiving break.  They laughed and one of them said they might need my help. That’s when I realized that there were already boys back in the shower room; they had come down before I came to my office. I got a look inside and there were at least eight boys back there, all naked and the first ones there were already having sex.”

“I closed the door and locked my office door and went back to my desk.  I told myself, they’re full of testosterone and horny, let ‘em have their fun.  But I couldn’t concentrate; there was all that hot, jock muscle back…….   I finally weakened.  I double checked my door and even turned out the lights so anyone who happened to come down to the locker room would think I was gone for the day. Then I stripped down to my briefs. I was still apprehensive but the door to the old shower room was like a magnet drawing me in. I opened the door and slipped in and closed it behind me.  There was barely any light in the room and I could only make out shadows at first.  But as my eyes got used to the dim light I could make out the forms of naked athletes very clearly. There was sex going on all around me, from kissing and making out to cock sucking and brutal ass fucking.  I knew I shouldn’t be there; more, I should put a stop to it and make them all leave. It was in the middle of the school day; classes were going on! But the sounds and smells were like a drug; especially the aroma. These were the smells I loved, greatly compounded—the chlorine and male sweat.  I sucked them in and moved in among them like a wild beast selecting its prey.  As I did so I heard whispers; ‘Look man, it’s Coach!’  And  ‘Fuck, is he gonna join us?’

It was the first I realized that most of these boys thought I was just being a good guy, letting them sneak down to the locker room and let off steam. They had no idea about me, and I had just outed myself to all but a select few who were already aware.  If I’d come into the shower room still dressed in PE gear I would still have my cover, but there I was in a pair of very small briefs and my cock was bulging out of them…..literally, the head was pushed up out of the waistband.”

“I didn’t say anything. I moved over to a tall, muscular boy, Kenny Bryant, leaning against the wall stroking his sizeable cock and watching the others. He was surprised to see me; he said so. I told him I probably shouldn’t be in there but I wanted to see what goes on behind the door behind the cabinet. He said damn near everything imaginable. I could see that. A burly football player had another boy up against the wall, fucking his ass. The smaller boy was groaning and clawing at the wall but it didn’t look like he was trying to get away. Oakley stood astraddle another boy laid out on an old bench on his stomach, and he was fucking his brains out.  Chris was the meat in a three-way sandwich on the floor.

My cock was throbbing so hard it ached. I told Kenny I hoped I wasn’t interrupting anything, as I reached down to replace his hand with mine around his cock.  He gave me a surprised look and relinquished his cock.  I stroked him as tremors of excitement ran through me.  His cock felt good in my hand, so warm and thick.  After a moment he reached his hand down inside my shorts for my cock.  He breathed, Geezuss, Coach, and freed my cock as he pulled my shorts down with his other hand.  We worked them down and I kicked them up, grabbed them and put them around my neck.  Then we pressed our bodies together and started kissing. I couldn’t tell you who initiated the kiss.”

“I didn’t know why he was standing aside from the rest but he wasn’t alone now and he didn’t seem to mind.  I kissed him hard, grasping his tight, round butt in my hands.  He clenched them for me as he pressed himself harder against me.  He was murmuring stuff like, ‘Fuck, coach’ as he started kissing my chest and sucking my nipples. I gave him a couple of minutes to see how far he would go. He kissed down my stomach but then dragged his tongue back up to my neck. When he didn’t make a return trip I figured he was new to the game and wasn’t comfortable going all the way gay.  I mimicked his attention but as I kissed down his abs I didn’t stop. I met his cock sticking almost straight up against his stomach and I went farther down on that.  He groaned and pushed my head down and I swallowed him whole. I gave him barely a dozen strokes when he started cumming.  I felt him try to move my head away but I held on to let him cum in my mouth.  I took his load and rose up and kissed him again. I thought, if he was a newbie, I would initiate him.  I forced my tongue in his mouth and made him take his own cum. We kissed it back and forth till together we’d swallowed it.  He broke away, saying it was his first time with this stuff.”

“I felt hands on my body; on my butt and reaching around for my chest and stomach and somebody said, ‘Fuck, Coach this is a great surprise’ and suddenly two more boys were all over me. A third one moved in and started making out with Kenny.  Within minutes I’d sampled both of the new boys’ cocks and had one of them turn around to offer me his butt.  I took it. He was opened up and slick. The other boy squatted down and rimmed my ass but a minute later he was shoving his cock in me. I pushed back to welcome him.”

“It went on for over an hour, Father, well after the last bell rang. I don’t even remember how many boys I had sex with.  Maybe all of them.  The point is, I had sex with them. All of them were seniors so I was comfortable that they were all legal, but I was still their coach, in a position of authority. And it scared me that they all knew about me now.”

“Was that the only time?” I asked.

“Godd, no! I swore it would be but hell, I lost count of all the times I swore that same oath.  I kept going back.   Sometimes it would be just one or two boys who’d gotten out of class, sometimes it was more. But it was the same ones. I knew I had to put a stop to it, or move it away from the school, and I did.”

“Where did you move it?” I asked. 

“To our apartment.  Actually, I got a bigger apartment that would accommodate them all.”

“So you closed down the old shower room.”

“No. I know I should’ve but I still use it now and then, like when a boy comes down with a problem he wants to talk about but I know he’s there to have sex, we go back there.”

“So where are we?” I asked. “You essentially closed down the shower room but you still use it. You moved the orgies to your apartment. That’s still a lot of traffic. I don’t know where you’re trying to go with this.”

“I’ve thought about resigning and going to another school, but it would probably start all over again.  And, these boys are like an addiction to me.”

“You know what I have to advise, Jordan, so it falls back to you to deal with it.”

“I know; you’ve been a good sounding board,” he said.

“You said you were going to move Oakley in with you. Are still going to do that?”

“Officially, no, but he’s there most of the time, staying over a lot of nights.  So are a lot of the other boys.  We never know who or how many boys we’ll find in our beds come morning.”

“Don’t you worry that their parents might get suspicious, their sons spending so much time at their coach’s apartment, and so many sleepovers?”

“Yes, but I don’t have it in me to turn them away.”

“How many nights do you have one of them in your bed?” I asked.

“Most nights, and most of those nights there’s more than one….sometimes it’s a three-way or four-way,” he replied. “But I’ve checked their records and they are all eighteen.”

“But you are still their coach,” I reminded him. “I don’t know how many are required to constitute an orgy but you have simply moved the problem from one location to another. It remains unsolved.  And I don’t think it’s going to be resolved here and now, or anytime soon for that matter.  Or ever, unless you can turn off your desire for boys.  So here is my best advice. Accept that you are who you are and that’s not going to change.  So you have to change your situation.  Put that big, heavy shelf back over the door to the old shower room and nail it to the wall. If you must have sex with boys at school, have only one in your office at a time, and be sure your office door is locked and the door to the locker room if that’s possible.  Curtail the activity at your apartment before you draw too much attention.”

“If the boys gang up on you, which I think is happening, you could host an orgy size gathering once in a while, to celebrate something, perhaps, but not every week. You must cut down on the traffic.  If you are still set on having this Oakley stud move in, so be it.  But no more.  You can still have boys come visit from time to time, one or two at a time. You’ll still have all the young sex you can handle and it keeps their testosterone level somewhat in check.”

He shook his head, laughing. “You amaze me, Father.  You hand out such sage and sensible advice.”

“But will you follow it?” I asked.

“I will.  That’s a promise….to a priest.”

“Fine, let me know when you have,” I told him. “Does it bother you, Jordan, to call me Father?”

“No. It’s weird, knowing you like I do, but I’m proud and honored to address you as Father. But this advice….is it within the parameters of church teaching?”