A Marine Called Jason
(Revised)
by: Peter

(© 2007-2015 by the Author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 85
Beyond Puberty 

One night Devon went up to bed early, leaving Kyle and me watching television.  Jason had gone out.

“Is he not feeling well?” I asked Kyle.

“I don’t know.  He’s been moody the last couple of days,” he said.

I waited a little while then went up to check on Devon.  I found him crying.  I went in the room and sat on the edge of his bunk.  “What’s the matter, buddy?” I asked, rubbing his shoulder.

“Nothing,” he said between sobs.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” I said.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Sure you can.  There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about, or Jason.  Nothing.  Not ever,” I assured him.

“I know you say that but I can't tell you this.  You’re gonna hate me if I tell you.”

“Nothing you could do could ever make us hate you, Devon,” I said, rubbing his back.  His sobs were subsiding but he didn’t say anything.  “You’ll feel better if you get it out,” I said.

“I think I’m gay,” he said in a tiny voice.

“What makes you think that?” I asked calmly, still rubbing his back.

“Because of the way other kids talk.”

“Other kids are calling you gay?”

“No.  But the way they talk……”

“Devon, turn over and look at me,” I said.

He slowly turned over under the covers and wiped his eyes.

“Now, you don’t have to tell me what the other kids are saying, just tell me why you think you might be gay.”

“Because of how I feel.”

“How do you feel?  I don’t think gay is a feeling,” I said.

“How I look at Kyle.”

“No, looking at Kyle, however you look at him, doesn’t make you gay either.  Tell me how you feel,” I said.

“I don’t know…..it’s just how I feel….I love him.”

“He’s your brother. You’re supposed to love him. He loves you, too.”

“I don’t think the way I love him.  I don’t think he thinks the things I do. I think I might love him too much.”

 “Why do you think you love your brother too much? I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Because I….I have feelings….about things.”

“Devon, you’re going to have to be more straight forward with me,” I said gently. 

“I have feelings that I wanta do things.”

“With Kyle?”

“Yes.  Promise you won’t tell him.”

“I won’t tell him. I promise,” I said. “But you haven’t told me what things.”

“I want to touch him, feel his muscles.  I want to touch his…..  I love sleeping with him, especially when we’re naked, when I can feel his bare muscles against me.  We….we sometimes get hard when we sleep together.  Both of us.  Most of the time.  Nothing’s ever happened, but I want it to.”

I laughed softly.  I couldn’t help it.  He frowned, with a hurt look.

“I’m not laughing at you, Devon,” I quickly assured him.  “I’m laughing because I’m happy.”

“You’re happy that I might be gay?  I’m not.”

“No, no, not that. I’m happy that you are discovering these things about yourself.  Not that you’re gay. Nothing you’ve said would make anyone think you are gay.  You’re a normal boy, with normal feelings. It’s your body reacting, that’s all.” 

“When the other guys at school are laughing and talking about gays, they don’t make it sound like it’s normal.”

“In the first place, most of those boys have no idea what they’re talking about. They’re just repeating what they’ve heard others say, like their older brothers, or older friends.  And secondly, you would be surprised how many of those boys are having the same feelings you are.”

“I can’t imagine which ones it would be,” he said.

“Does Kyle talk and laugh with the other boys about it?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“He wouldn’t if he knew how you felt about it.”

“You won’t tell him, will you?” 

“No.  Not unless you say I can.”

“I don’t want you to tell him.”

“Then I won’t.  But I’m sure he would understand if you told him how you feel. And by the way, what you said about me hating you if you’re gay.  That’s not true.  I don’t care if you’re gay or straight, or bent in the middle.  We love you, no matter what.”

“You won’t tell my dad, will you?” he said.

I gave him a sad look. “I don’t like keeping things from Jason,” I said. “And if he were home, he would be the one who came up to check on you and he would be the one having this conversation with you."

"No he wouldn't, ‘cause I wouldn't be telling him what I told you."

"Why? It would be no different than telling me. Trust me, he would understand.”

“It would be a lot different, trying to tell him.  You and my Dad are different.”

“Oh?”

"He’s gruffer.”

“Gruffer?” I said, smiling

“Yes.  You’re easier to talk to.”

I laid my hand lightly on his chest. “Listen, Devon, I would like your permission to tell Jason what you’ve told me.  Let’s see what he has to say about it.  I’ll bet he won’t be gruff at all.  I’ll bet he will be as easy to talk to as I am.  You just have to give him a chance.  You know, he’s as new at this as I am, raising boys.  He and I have to learn along the way.”

He thought about it for a moment then told me it was okay to tell Jason. “But if he gets mad, I don’t wanta talk to him,” he added.

Jason came in late. He said he was meeting some guys he worked with for a beer, but I was sure he was with a woman.  We had not openly discussed that part of our relationship but I knew about him and Melissa and I wanted him to know that it was okay to seek female companionship. But I didn’t want him to sneak around about it.  I was reading when he came in. I watched him undress.

“We have to talk,” I said as he was getting in bed.

He paused with one knee in the edge of the mattress.  That stance, his naked body with his big cock swinging out from his loins, took my breath away, as it usually did.

“Okay,” he said, putting his hands up in a defensive gesture.  “I met this woman at the bar.  We took off for a little while.  But I didn’t lie to you.”

“I never accused you of lying,” I said.  I thought I should stop him before he went any farther, but it was an opportune time to lay the issue out on the table.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, too,” he went on as he climbed in bed.  “We never covered that aspect of it when we talked about ground rules; about women, not even after I fucked your niece.”

“It never occurred to me, but I suppose we should’ve,” I said.

“When we had that conversation at the Dragonfly….when I told you I loved you, I never said I was gay.  I never put a label on myself.”

“There’s no reason why you should,” I said

“You don’t seem the least bit upset that I was with a woman tonight,” he said.  "Just like you weren't upset over Melissa."

“I’m not.  Being with a woman takes nothing away from me; or from us,” I said.

“Actually, it adds something to us,” he said.  “I’m so boned up for you after fucking her……” 

When he put his arm across my lower stomach I pulled it up across my chest.

“Normally, I would be flattered, but there’s something we have to talk about.”

He looked at me and withdrew his arm, a confused look on his face.  “You mean this….me seeing women….isn’t want you wanted to talk about? Damn!  I just outed myself!” he said, laughing.

I laughed.  “We were going to talk about that, but it’s Devon we need to talk about right now.”

“Devon?  What’s wrong?  What’s he done?  Is he okay?”

“He is, and he isn’t.” I went on to explain what Devon and I had talked about.

“Damn! The first time he really needs me and I’m out fucking around with a woman.”

“Don’t lay a guilt trip on yourself, that is not an issue,” I said sternly. “In fact, he said he wasn’t sure he would’ve told you if you were here.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re gruffer,” I said, smiling.

“I’m gruffer?”

“You’re not easy to talk to,” I said.

“He can say anything he wants to me.”

“But he doesn’t feel that he can really talk to you.  I told him he could. I told him I was going to tell you what we talked about, then you would talk to him about it, and he would see how easy you are to talk to.”

He folded his arms over his head and let out a big sigh.  “I said you would be better at this than I am.”  He stared at the ceiling for a long moment.  “What if he is gay?” he asked quietly.

“What if he is?”

“How do I handle that?”

“You never had any trouble handling me,” I said.

“You’re not totally gay.”

“Gay enough,” I said.

“But he’s just a boy.  He’s my son.”

“Will it bother you if he is gay?” I asked.

“No, absolutely not.”

"Then you'll handle it just fine."

"Maybe I should talk to him now."

"No, don't wake him up," I said.

"Tomorrow, then.   It's Saturday, I'll talk to him tomorrow.”

To be continued...  

Posted: 04/10/15 rp