A few minutes of grief seemed like hours as Jeremiah punished himself for betraying the family heritage.  There was nothing he could do but return to Akron.  And to Isaac.  And to the future that awaited him.  He walked to his car and got in.  He took one long (and last?) look at the house that had been his home for nearly two decades, at the barn where he played as a child and later worked alongside his father, and at the verdant fields of corn that stood tall in fertile soil.  He drove away, still consumed by guilt and depression.

As he neared Akron, rational thoughts entered his mind.  Rumspringa was an integral part of Amish tradition.  It allowed teens the opportunity to experience the conveniences, amenities, and, yes, the morals of the ‘English’ so that they could make an informed decision about committing to baptism and a life of traditional worship of God.  He was only conforming to the spirit of that principle.  He reminded himself that 85 percent of those who lived on the outside returned to the Amish community after their Rumspringa.  Very few if any, however, chose to leave for the reason that he had — to love and live with another man.  ‘Zach! He is my future!  My past must remain a fond memory!  Like Jason, we can be righteous Christians as we love each other and treasure our bond.’

“How’d it go?” Isaac asked as Jeremiah entered the house.

“Terrible! A disaster!” came the reply before Jeremiah fell into his lover’s arms, recalling the heartache he had caused for his parents and himself.

Isaac was extraordinarily comforting as Jeremiah related the details of what could have been a reunion but was a confrontation.  Instead of love, it was marked by sorrow.

“I may have lost my family, Zack, but I have you.  And that means far more to me now.”

“I know,” Isaac replied.  “I suppose we’re both orphans now.  But we have each other.”

<><><><><> 

To signify Jeremiah’s and Isaac’s separation from their Amish families and community, their nicknames (Jerry and Zack) will be used through the remainder of this story.

<><><><><> 

Fall, winter, and spring flew by because both Jerry and Zack worked through the day, attended classes most evenings at a nearby high school to prepare for the GED exam, and, of course, made love at night.  When they weren’t studying on the weekend, they found time for a bit of relaxation.

Both wanted to attend college but its practicality was a major concern.  Their first choice was Ohio State University in Columbus but they would have to bear the cost of college and rent an apartment not to mention finding new jobs to meet expenses.  Jason proposed an alternative.  He would loan them the money to attend college full time at no interest.  They could continue living in his house and attend the University of Akron.  Being full time students without full time jobs, their lives would be simplified and they could devote the necessary time to their studies.  “Besides,” Jason argued, “most of your classes meet during normal working hours.  How can you be at work and at school at the same time?” Because of the young men’s independent streak (a result of their Amish upbringing), neither wanted to accept the generous offer.  Jason continued in his attempt to persuade them, saying, “It would mean a lot to me, boys.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having you here.  It’s certainly better than living alone.”

After weighing the strong desire to strike out on their own against the formidable challenge of meeting both living and education expenses, they compromised.  They would accept Jason’s offer but repay the loan — with interest — as soon as possible.  They would work through the summer months and save as much as they could to pay part of the college expenses.

Because of their diligent studying, they felt ready to take the GED exam in a remarkably short time.  They had mastered four years of high school academics in eight months.  Immediately upon receiving their passing scores and before the certificate arrived, they applied for admission the following September to the University of Akron.  Jason was extraordinarily proud of his protégés and commended them on their achievement.  Jerry and Zack, having been taught that pride is sinful, maintained an outwardly humble attitude although they congratulated themselves inwardly.

<><><><><> 

It was four weeks after college classes began that the two lovers faced a dilemma.  Zack was walking across campus when Steve, a classmate, caught up to him and said, “Hey, Zack.  Glad I saw you.  I’d like to invite you to a little party at my house Friday night.  Nothing special ...  just a small group hanging out ...  have a few beers ...  maybe listen to some music ...  a little dancing.  Do you have a girlfriend?   She’s welcome, too.”

Zack didn’t know how to respond.  He and Jerry had talked about whether to be open in their gay relationship and tentatively decided not to hide it but not to be too public about it.  That meant no ‘public display of affection’, but they would tell the truth if asked.  Steve had not specifically asked; he simply assumed that his classmate was straight and had a girlfriend.  Zack evaded the sensitive issue by asking, “Can I let you know tomorrow?”

That evening, Zack told Jerry about the invitation and confessed that he was afraid of what might happen if they went to the party.  After considerable discussion, they arrived at what they thought was the best option: a combination of honesty and consideration of Steve and his other guests.

The next day, Zack said to Steve, “About your party Friday.  You said I could bring a date.  Well, that may be a problem ...  for you and your friends.  You see, my date would be Jerry, my boyfriend.  It could be awkward to have a gay couple at your party.”

Steve laughed but, upon seeing Zack’s sincere expression, said, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes.  I’d like to come but not if it embarrasses you or the other people at the party.”

“Sonnofabitch!” Steve exclaimed.  “I never would have guessed it.”

“Fact is,” Zack replied, “it’s true.   So I’ll leave it up to you whether you want us there.  If you don’t, that’s quite all right.  No hard feelings.”

Steve stammered out his reply.  “Well ...  ah ...  that is ...  it’s okay with me,” he lied.  “But my other friends might not understand.”

“In that case,” Zack said, “I appreciate the invitation but won’t accept.”

“Sorry, pal,” Steve said with fake sincerity and, by so doing, implicitly withdrew the invitation.

Steve was distinctly less friendly after that.  Over the next week, other students who had once been friendly were ill at ease and aloof.  Both Zack and Jerry occasionally noticed small clusters of students whispering to each other and casting glances in their direction.  Clearly, more and more students heard the news.  The word spread like a viral infection.

The isolation from former friends disturbed Zack more than Jerry because he felt responsible.  It was he, after all, who told Steve that he was gay.  He chastised himself for not simply declining the invitation with some fabricated excuse of ‘other plans.’ Jerry reminded him that they had agreed to be honest but recalling that decision did little to minimize Zack’s regret.  Their exclusion from their former circle of friends was not a complete surprise but the feeling of loneliness was greater than either young man expected.  “At least,” Jerry mused, “people are only ignoring us and not insulting us.”

The insults would come, however.  They came not from the religious right fanatics as expected.  Zack and Jerry were walking to their car in the parking lot on campus when five husky football players, their brains impaired by testosterone toxicity, started taunting them.  ‘Sissy’ was the mildest epithet hurled at the two young men; fag, queer, and fudge-packer were the crudest.

They ignored the verbal abuse and continued walking, which, in the deranged minds of the assailants, was interpreted as victory and evidence of queers’ total lack of courage to counter attack.  Half way to the parking lot and out of earshot of the laughing hoodlums, Jerry said, “Let’s walk over to Market Street.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want them to see us get into the car.  Who knows what they might do if they know what car we drive?   Maybe I’m overly cautious but I’d hate to have them vandalize the car just to punish us for being different.”

“Good thinking, Jerry.”

A few minutes later, they heard a voice behind them calling, “Jerry!” They turned around to see who it was.  Jerry recognized the young man who was hurrying to catch up to them.  “It’s Brad, Zack.  He’s in my English class.  More significantly, he’s one of the jocks who just shouted insults at us.”

“Think it’s more trouble?” Zack asked.

“Maybe,” Jerry worried.

“Got a few minutes?” Brad asked, slightly out of breath for having run to catch up with them.

“Sure.  Got more insults for us?” Jerry said sarcastically.

“No, no!” Brad exclaimed.  “I want to apologize to you.  What happened back there was inexcusable.”

“Yes, it was,” Jerry said defiantly.  “But you were right there yelling at us.  Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I can explain.  If you’re willing to listen.  Why don’t we get some cold drinks over at the Burger King.  I hope I can convince you that I’m truly sorry.”

They settled into a secluded corner booth with their Pepsi Colas.  Jerry’s and Zack’s suspicions had turned to curiosity as Brad spoke.  “First, a little background.  I had a very good friend in high school who was gay.  Bob was witty and absolutely brilliant but not much to look at.  Big ears and nose.  Scrawny.  Unusually shy.  I think I’m the only guy who he could call a friend.  And no, it’s not what you’re thinking.  I’m not gay.  I have a girlfriend and we plan to get married after graduation.  I don’t claim to understand what it’s like for a guy to be attracted to other guys any more than you may understand why I’m turned on by girls.  Anyway, Bob and I, as I said, were good friends.  We told each other things we would never tell anyone else.  One day after being bullied for the umpteenth time at school, he was almost in tears.  He said he couldn’t take any more shit from the bigots at school.  After more conversation, he admitted that he had thought of suicide several times to end his suffering.  I was shocked!  Here was this bright kid with a promising future.  And he wanted to throw it all away!  It took a couple of hours of talking but I was able to convince him to seek help.  I recommended a Web Site, ‘ItGetsBetter.org’ that he found very useful.  His parents, when they found out how serious the problem was, arranged for psychiatric counseling.  He’s now at Yale on a full scholarship.  I got a letter from him thanking me for my help and confirming that it DOES get better..  He’s happy as a pig in shit now.”

“That’s great!” Zack said.  “But what’s it got to do with harassing us?”

“I’m getting to that.  I’m ashamed of being in that group that accosted you.  You see, it’s a small group of football players that hang with Alex, the quarterback.  He’s also the senior class president so there’s a lot of wannabes that would like to join his inner circle.  But Alex keeps them out.  For some reason, he let me join.  Maybe ‘cause my dad has a construction company and hires them during the summer.  It’s like a pack of wolves.  Alex is the alpha dog and controls everyone in the pack.  There’s a pecking order, too.  I’m on the bottom of the heap so there’s nothing I can do to change their attitude toward gays.  Sure, I like being in with the star football players but today made me think.  What they did — what WE did — was cruel, the sort of bullying that Bob suffered and almost ended in tragedy.  So here’s the bottom line.  One.  I apologize for tormenting you.  Two.  If they ever talk about something more serious like physically attacking you, I’ll give you a heads-up so you can avoid it or at least be prepared.”

“That’s very decent of you, Alex,” Jerry said.

“Well ...  I can’t stop them if they decide to do something stupid.  But I may be able to warn you.”

They exchanged cell phone numbers and hoped that they would not be used.  While Jerry and Zack were surprised and pleased, both harbored a suspicion that it was a ruse to make them let down their guard.

<><><><><> 

Brad worried about what might happen to Jerry and Zack and tried to form a plan by which he could prevent a possible attack.  He was unsuccessful.  After all, he was a minor and powerless member of Alex’s core group.  The situation changed, however, when his girlfriend berated him for participating in the harassment of two students.  Her friend had witnessed the verbal abuse and told her, in detail, what had happened.  Brad apologized, explained how he had agreed to warn Zack and Jerry of any further abuse.  That seemed to have satisfied his girlfriend but it also formed the seeds of a viable plan to prevent further bullying.  “Your friend saw what happened?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Any other witnesses?”

“Two or three.”

“Would they be willing to describe what they saw?”

“Yes.  What are you thinking?” she asked.

“I might have a way to stop Alex’s tyrannical domination of his gang and prevent any plot he may hatch to persecute two undeserving guys.”

Together, Brad and his girlfriend worked out the details.

After football practice the following Wednesday, the coach called out the names of Alex’s clique and said, “I want to see you in my office immediately.”

They dutifully reported to the coach’s office.  All of them were curious; some were worried, about what it was all about.  Only Brad knew what was in store.  Alex, arrogant as ever, tried to reassure them that even the coach wouldn’t dare break up their close camaraderie.  He changed his mind soon after the coach began lecturing to the group.

Looking directly at Alex, the coach said, “I’ve been aware of your group for some time.  If you want to hang out together it’s none of my business.  As long as it didn’t affect the performance of the entire team, I’ve haven’t said anything.  But it’s come to my attention — from credible sources — not your victims — that your gang insulted, harassed, and intimidated two gay students.” Raising his voice, he continued, “You’ve crossed the line!  You may think that I’m only concerned with how you play football.  Let me set you straight.  Every athlete at this university has to meet standards ...  academically and personally.  Deliberately and consciously causing pain to others — team members, students on or off campus, or anyone else — is simply not acceptable.  I will not tolerate your ridiculing others whether they’re handicapped, a minority race, or because of sexual orientation.  Let me be very clear.  If I hear of any further discriminatory and degrading behavior from any of you, I will suspend you from the team.  You won’t be allowed to suit up for practices or games.  And that means all of you.  Or any one of you that screws up.  If, like the other day, you individually or as a group insult or harass anyone, you’re toast!  I don’t want to lose your talent but I’ll suspend any or all of you in a heartbeat if you don’t live up to expectations on or off the field.  This is not an idle threat.  I WILL suspend you.  If anyone asks why you’re suspended, I won’t hesitate to give the reason.  Don’t fool yourselves by thinking that winning is everything.  As far as I’m concerned, winning honorably is what matters.  You dishonor yourselves, the team, and this university when you maliciously attack other students.  I’ve given a lot of thought to whether and how to punish you for your cruel bigotry.  I refuse to make the same mistake as Tressel!”  [Jim Tressel, a coach at Ohio State, was forced to resign for covering up his players’ prohibited profiting from the sale of football memorabilia.]  “I’ve decided on one that is best for the team, the university, and most of all for YOU.  I want you assholes to apologize to Jerry and Zack.  I want you to promise them that you will be their watchdogs and protectors.”

“But Coach…” Alex whined.

“No ‘buts’ about it, no matter HOW you spell the word!”

After a moment of shocked silence, Brad and a couple others who were low on the social totem pole responded with a bit of chuckling.

“Get this through your thick skulls!  If I hear of any assault to either or both of them, you’ll answer to me and it won’t be pretty.  Any assault, verbal or physical, caused by any one of you could mean you’re off the team.  Permanently!  Now get your sorry asses out of here before I tell you how much your inexcusable attack disgusts me.”

To be continued...

The author is indebted to Iatia (You know who you are, my friend!) for his valuable contributions to this story.