Loving Luiz
By: Morris Henderson
(Copyright 2007 by the author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

PART 9

 Chapter 25

It was the middle of August.  Luiz and I had achieved a comfortable companionship.  Life was certainly not routine or boring because we had taken a few weekend excursions, we had begun to prepare for Luiz's return to school with new clothes and supplies, and evenings were a joy even if all we did was discuss the day we had had or watched a movie. Our sex was still extremely satisfying although, by mutual agreement, it was not every night.  Luiz continued to alternate, sometimes instantaneously, between thoughtful young man, playful teenager, and ardent lover, the unpredictability often surprising me but always delightful. Like anyone else, he was sometimes quite subdued but I came home one evening to find him exceptionally quiet and almost aloof.

Failing to raise his spirits with conversation, I debated whether to allow him his freedom to be quiet if he wanted to or pry for a possible reason for his sour mood.  After dinner, he went into his bedroom, which was most unusual, and caused me to worry about what was troubling him. Thirty minutes later, I could stand it no longer.  I walked down the hall and knocked on his door that, to my memory, he had never closed before. "Luiz," I called.

"What?" came the reply.

"Can I come in?  I'd like to talk to you."

"Okay."

Luiz was lying on his bed, starring at the ceiling.  I walked in and sat on the edge of his bed.  "Luiz," I said.  "If you want to be alone, that's okay. I'll leave you alone.  But if there's something troubling you, I want to help.  If there's anything I can do to help, I will."

He looked at me for the first time and said, "I'm okay.  I just need some time to think."  That confirmed that there was a problem but also signaled that he was not ready to talk about it.

Although I was even more worried than before, I had to respect his wishes so I said, "Okay.  Just remember that I'm here for you and always will be."  As I left the room and closed his door, I hoped that it was nothing serious but I was convinced that it was.

Later, I heard the shower and knew that he was getting ready for bed. When the shower stopped, I turned out the lights and headed to the bathroom for my own shower.  I showered quickly and walked into our bedroom to find him sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Jake," he said as I entered the room.  "I'm sorry."

"That's all right." I assured him.  "Everybody needs some quiet time once in a while."

"No," he said.  "I'm sorry about that, but I'm really sorry ... for what I did today."

"Want to tell me about it?" I asked.

"Not really," he said as he hung his head down to avoid eye contact. "I'm ashamed of myself and I've disappointed you.  I'm sorry, Jake."

I pulled him to me, put my arm around his shoulder, and said, "Whatever it is, Luiz, let me decide whether I'm disappointed.  Even if I am, I will still admire you, love you, and be here for you.  Tell me what the problem is."

He hugged me, laid his head on my shoulder, and began to cry.  I let him cry for a few minutes, hoping to communicate by my hug that whatever he had done, I loved him.  Eventually, I said, "Tell me what happened."

"I went over to Robbie's today.  Josh has been gone for more than a week with his parents on vacation.  Robbie had said that he missed him and he was really sad.  He told me that he was really horny, too.  I tried to tell him that Josh would be back soon and they could get together but he kept saying how hard it was not to see him every day.  He started talking dirty, like how he jerked off but it was not the same.  I just listened but then he asked me about how I jerked off, how often, and was it satisfying. I didn't know what to do or to say.  So I just said I would rather not talk about it.  A little while later, we were just goofing off and he started to wrestle with me.  He seemed a little happier so I wrestled with him.  Then he grabbed me in the crotch and squeezed me."

My previous conversation with Robbie flashed through my mind and I knew that Robbie was trying with Luiz what had obviously worked with Josh.

Luiz continued.  "I told him that what he did was not nice but he just looked at me and told me that he liked me, that he liked me ever since the first soccer practice and he wanted to have sex with me.  I told him no. He said he was afraid of that because I had never shown any signs of being interested in having sex.  I tried to change the subject but he continued to plead and beg me.  He repeated how lonely he was without Josh and could I please jerk him off.  He said he would pretend that it was Josh but he needed it so bad.  Then he pulled down his pants.  He was hard.  He said, 'Please do it for me.'  I didn't know what to do, Jake.  I could do him a favor or I could be faithful to you."

He paused, not for dramatic effect, I'm sure, but because he found it more and more difficult to continue with the story.

"And?" I prompted him.

"I have to be honest with you, Jake.  I got horny looking at him.  I saw his cock. I knew I could touch it, I knew he wanted me to jerk him off."

"I understand the temptation," I said in an attempt to relieve his guilt without condoning what I knew he had done.

"I gave in, Jake.  I was horny.  He was begging for it so I did it.

His tears reappeared.  I held him tightly and said, "I understand.  You made a mistake but it was not a big mistake.  I'm not mad.  I'm proud of you for telling me.  Most boys wouldn't have the courage to say that to their lover or to their father."

"Somehow, I knew you would understand and forgive me, Jake, but that's not the worst part.  This part you'll hate me for."

I knew what was coming.  "And then you let him jerk you off." I said calmly.

"Yes," he said through increasing sobs.  "He wanted to.  He begged me to let him.  And I wanted it, too, so I let him.  I felt his mouth on my cock and I didn't stop him.  I squirted in his mouth."

He was sobbing uncontrollably but managed to say, "I'm so ashamed.  I disappointed you.  And now you will hate me."

I grabbed both his shoulders and turned him to face me squarely.  His head was hanging and he was shaking from his sobs.  "Look at me." I said. "I love you.  You made a mistake.  It was not a big mistake.  Yes, I'm disappointed but more with Robbie than with you.  I love you, Luiz. Believe it.  I love you even more for telling me what happened.  I know how hard it was to tell me and I admire you for having the courage to tell me." I meant every word.

He fell into my arms and hugged me saying, "I'm sorry, Jake."

I hugged him back for several long minutes before saying, "Will you do me a favor?"

He looked up at me and said earnestly, "Anything."

"No more 'I'm sorry'  You've said it, I believe it, and you don't have to keep apologizing.  It's over.  It's done.  Let's put it behind us. The only question is what you want to do about Robbie.  He's made one conquest; he may try again."

"That's part of what I had to think about tonight," Luiz said.  "Mostly I was deciding whether to tell you but I also thought about Robbie.  Even about somebody else that might try something.  For one thing, I'm not going to let my cock do my thinking.  You warned me about that once. As for Robbie, I've decided to go over there tomorrow.  I'm going to tell him that we both made a big mistake.  I'll tell him that if he tries to do it again, we can't be friends anymore.  I like him.  I think he needs friends who understand him.  But I'll make it clear that it's unfair to Josh, to him, and to me.  Do you think that's okay?"

"Sound like a good plan," I replied.  "I especially like the part about telling him it's unfair to Josh.  I think he should start thinking about him more and himself less.  Now, go wash off your face.  Some of your tears got down on your lip.  I don't want to kiss salty lips goodnight." He gave me a slight smile.  Slight as it was, it made me feel wonderful that he was smiling at all.  Then, I felt even better as he returned to his normal self and said, "I thought you liked salty stuff.  Or is that just when you have to work to get it out of me?" "Go!" I commanded.  "And be sure to hurry back." The next evening, I couldn't wait to hear how Luiz's confrontation with Robbie had played out.  I didn't have to ask or wait long to hear.  Luiz bounded to me as I entered the apartment.  After an exceptionally long hug and kiss, he said, "I saw Robbie today and told him what I said I would.  He apologized, said he wouldn't try anything again, and asked if we could still be friends.  I think he meant it.  I feel better now but..."

"But what?" I asked.

"You told me not to say it."

"Say what?" I asked a little confused.

"Don't you remember?" he asked.  "Last night.  You asked me to do you a favor and not say something."

"Oh, that," I said as I recalled asking him not to apologize.

"I promised not to say it," he grinned, "but I didn't promise not to feel it."  Then, without giving me a chance to respond, he grabbed my hand, led me into the kitchen and said, "Come on.  I've made a special dinner for you tonight -- your favorite."  I had no idea what it would be because I did not remember mentioning anything as my favorite.

The table was set except for the dinner plates.  Exuberantly, he told me to sit down and close my eyes.  My playful teenager had returned and I was very willing to play his game.  "Don't open your eyes until I tell you to," he said as I heard the oven door open.  I heard a plate being set down in front of me and then another at his place.  "You can open your eyes now,"

he said.

I laughed heartily when I saw what was on the plate -- a large polish sausage.  At one end were two meatballs.  At the other end was a small pool of what turned out to be melted whipped cream.

When we stopped laughing, I said, "That's very creative, Luiz.  But you got one detail wrong."

"What?  You want some hair around it?" he laughed.  "I thought about using spaghetti but it wouldn't look right."

"It's not that," I replied, trying desperately to hold back more laughter.  "It's not my favorite."  I immediately stood, moved toward him, pulled him up off the chair, and, because he was taken by surprise, easily laid him down on his back on the kitchen floor.  "This is my favorite!" I exclaimed and began to unzip his pants.  "I don't want a substitute, I want the real thing."

"No!  No!" he squealed as he struggled to get away from me.  "You have to finish your dinner before you get dessert."

I let him go.  He stood and zipped up his pants, laughing.  I remained on my knees.  I folded my hands under my chin and imitated a whining toddler.  "Please.  Please.  Just a little taste.  I promise I'll eat my dinner.  All of it.  Please may I?  Please?"

His laugh was more of a giggle.  "Oh, all right," he said, aptly playing the part of a doting parent.  He unzipped, pulled out his cock, and positioned himself right in front of me.  Just as my mouth touched his cock, he pulled it away.  "That's a taste," he said.  As he stuffed his cock back into his pants and zipped up, he said, "Now finish your dinner. All of it or you don't get dessert."

We joked and laughed our way through dinner and then, before clearing the table, two very happy people went into the bedroom for dessert.

Chapter 26

It was early October.  Luiz was a freshman in high school and doing very well both academically and socially.  He had accumulated a circle of friends, both male and female, and I was pleased because he seemed to be so happy.  In conversations over dinner and into the evening, he maintained our tradition of discussing the events of the day, what he was studying, and, occasionally, problems he was having.  The biggest problem seemed to be girls.  They flirted with him constantly, which was no surprise because he was so handsome.  He had to be creative to fend them off.  He listened indulgently while his male friends speculated or even bragged about making it with one girl or another but didn't join in the adolescent machismo.  Keeping his promise to Mrs. White, he held his tongue on the few occasions when he heard the epithets of fag, queer, or homo.  I think that he had learned to choose his battles carefully.

He called me at work one afternoon to say that he and two of his friends wanted to get together after school to study for a civics test.  I assured him that it would be all right.

"I may not be home in time for dinner," he said.  "Do you mind?" "Not at all," I replied.  "I can grab some leftovers or, if you won't be too late, we can order a pizza when you get home."   He thought the pizza idea was the best and promised to call if he would be later than 8:00.

I ran a couple of errands on my way home and the phone was ringing as I walked into the apartment.  I guessed that it would be Luiz to say that he would be later than expected.  I grabbed the phone just before the answering machine kicked in.  "Hello."

"Jake?" a voice said.  It was not Luiz.

"Yes."

"This is John.  How in the hell are you?"

I still didn't recognize the voice and began to mentally run through all of the Johns that I knew who might call me at home.  Nothing clicked.  "I'm fine," I said but I'm sure my confusion was apparent in my tone.

"Come on, Jake," the voice laughed.  "Surely you remember your college room mate.  You said you would always remember me."

"Jon!" I exclaimed.  "Good to hear from you!  How are you?  Where are you?"

"I'm in town," he replied.  "On a 30-day leave.  I got your address and phone number from the alumni office.  I decided that there was no better place to spend my time than seeing you so here I am.  I hope you don't mind ...  and that I'm not interrupting anything." There was more than a hint of meaning in his last comment, as though he feared that I might have a hot date.  "Not at all," I said enthusiastically "I'd love to see you again..."  Then, I had the foresight to say, "... to recall the good times we had in school."  I hoped that he would interpret that to mean I didn't want to rekindle our affair.  I gave him directions to my apartment.  He was only a few miles away and had rented a car so he would arrive in less than 15 minutes.  During that time, I tried to think of all the possible scenarios that might play out.  Chief among them was that Jon might want sex and I didn't.  Then again, he may have found somebody as I had.  Of course, there was Luiz, who might walk in at any moment.  I wanted to avoid telling Jon that my new lover was a 16-year-old. Before I had worked out all of the contingencies in my mind, Jon arrived and I invited him in.  If anything, he was better looking that when we were in college.

He hugged me.  I was relieved that it was brief.  We sat in the living room and for the next hour, we caught up on each other's lives since leaving college.  During that conversation, I said, "I have a son."  His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, but he said nothing so I continued by relating the highlights of our meeting, his father's death, the adoption, and Luiz's remarkable mind.  "I expect him home any minute.  I think you'll like him."

"I guess that means it would be awkward for us to ... I mean ... well ... "

I knew what he wanted to say but couldn't so I replied,  "He knows I'm gay.  He knows that we lived together in college.  But I don't think it would be a good idea."  His disappointment was palpable.  Then, hoping to lighten the mood, I said, "Where's my manners?  Can I get you something? Beer?  Pop?  Have you had dinner?"

"A beer would be nice," he replied with only a slight improvement in his expression.

I went into the kitchen, got two beers out of the refrigerator, and was about to open them when I heard the front door open.  Luiz saw me but not Jon.  As the front door closed behind him and he walked into the kitchen, he yelled, "I'm home.  I'm hungry."  Before I could tip him off that we had company, he added, "And I'm horny, too."

I scowled at him, which confused him until I said, "Come in the living room, There's someone I want you to meet."  His face revealed his panic. His face flushed and he mouthed, "I'm sorry."  He was obviously shaken by his lapse of judgment and, I thought, needed time to compose himself so I said to him just loud enough for Jon to hear, "If you want to drop your books and things in your bedroom first, come join us when you're ready."   He mouthed, "I'm sorry," again and headed for his room.

I took the two beers into the living room wondering how Jon had reacted to Luiz's comment.  He looked at me, cocked one eyebrow, and said, "Your son?"

"Yes," I replied, trying to act nonchalant, "That's Luiz.  He's got a weird sense of humor sometimes, but he's a good kid."

Jon fixed his gaze on me and said earnestly, "Jake.  We were together a long time.  We were very close.  You know that I always knew when you were concealing something."

He was right.  I recalled several instances when he knew what I was thinking in spite of what I was saying.  Still, there was a chance he was bluffing, that he only had a vague hunch of a relationship that was far more than father and son.  His comment may have been a subtle challenge for me either to deny or confirm his hunch.  This was certainly not one of the scenarios I had anticipated and I was not prepared with a response. I played for time to think it through and to gauge the strength of his suspicion by laughing, "Okay, smart ass.  Just what do you think I'm concealing?"

His serious gaze into my eyes remained.  I felt it was penetrating my mind, my thoughts, and my fears.  It was deja vu.  He had done that to me often enough that I knew it was hopeless.  Denial would not be credible.

Confirmation could mean serious problems for Luiz and I.

"You'd make a lousy poker player," he said.  "The subtle twitches in your eyes ... the slight shift in voice tone ... I noticed them in college and they are even more obvious to me now because I've had interrogator training in the military.  Luiz is more than just your son, isn't he?" The trap was sprung.  There was no escape.  I could have said it proudly but all I could do was mutter, "Yes," and hope that he would keep the secret. Somewhat surprisingly, Jon smiled and said, "From the way you've bragged about his mind and character and from the brief glance I got when he came in the door, I'd say you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch." "That I am," I said.  "I never expected it to happen.  I resisted it as long as I could but it became apparent that he was gay.  And he was horny. You could say that he seduced me but I was horny, too, so I'm just as responsible as he is.  Now we're committed to each other.  Frankly, I couldn't be happier." Jon grinned.  I didn't sense that it was a victory grin for getting a confession out of me.  Rather, I think -- I hoped -- he was genuinely happy for me. Just then, Luiz came down the hall and into the living room.  Jon and I both stood as I said, "Luiz, this is Jon, my room mate in college. Remember my telling you about him?"

Luiz extended his hand and said, "Pleased to meet you, sir.  And please forgive me for my stupid comment."  Jon shook Luiz's hand, smiled -- I think admiringly at Luiz's politeness, his attempt to cover up his comment, and, no doubt, his good looks.

"And I'm pleased to meet you," Jon said.  He held Luiz's hand longer than necessary, looked him up and down, and said, "I don't mind losing when the competition is clearly superior."

Luiz's smile disappeared.  He was understandably confused.  He looked at me as if to say, "What the hell does that mean?"

"Come sit by me," I said to Luiz.  "I have some explaining to do."  We sat down and, as I related the conversation with Jon, his expression changed from to confusion to curiosity and finally to fear as I tried to explain how Jon had guessed and how I had to confirm the guess.

Both Jon and I gave him a few moments to absorb what I had said, most significantly that our secret, illegal relationship was in jeopardy.  He turned to Jon and said,  "Please, sir..."

Jon interrupted.  "Call me Jon.  My Captain is sir but I'm just Jon."

"Please don't tell anybody.  Jake might go to prison.  You know what will happen to him there.  I couldn't bear that."

"Not to worry," Jon said.  "One of the things I've learned to do very well in the military is to keep a secret.  More than that, I like Jake too much to ever see him in trouble with the law.  And to think that he would be taken away from an intelligent, very good looking young man just wouldn't be right.  For either of you."

"Thank you," Luiz said to Jon.  Turning to me, he said, "I'm sorry."

"Stop it!" I said forcefully, which caused both Luiz and Jon to stare at me in disbelief.  "You've forgotten what I told you already," I continued sternly.  "You've already told me you're sorry.  I believe it.  Everything is all right now.  Don't keep apologizing."

Luiz grinned, "Okay, I'll stop saying it." he said contritely but then, defiantly, "But you can't stop me from thinking it, can you?"

We both laughed.  Now it was Jon who was confused.  Between laughs, I said, "Forgive us.  Private joke."

"If you say so," Jon said, still wondering what had happened.

We chatted for a while.  Mostly, Luiz was asking Jon about what it was like in the military and in Korea.  To his credit, Jon answered one of Luiz's questions with, "That's a secret.  Can't tell you or anybody else." He gave Luiz a wink and Luiz chuckled.

As Luiz grew more comfortable talking to Jon, he said, "Pardon me for asking but I'm curious.  Is it difficult to be in the military, an organization that openly discriminates against gay men?"

Jon was only briefly surprised by the bluntness of the question but answered, "Yes.  The 'don't ask, don't tell' policy is an improvement over what it was before but it's still not fair to those of us who enjoy our career.  I have to be very, very careful.  And that's difficult when you're living with a lot of physically fit men."

"That's what I thought," Luiz replied.  I suspected that Luiz's curiosity might lead him to ask more delicate questions such as how can a gay man find a partner but he had the good sense to move on to other topics.

A short time later, Jon said, "Say, when you came in the door, you said you were hungry.  I'd like to take you both to dinner.  How about it?"

Luiz looked at me and I said, "Sounds good.  We accept."

Jon then surprised us both by saying to Luiz, "As I recall, you also said you were horny.  I can't help you there but I think Jake can after dinner."

Luiz had a bigger surprise.  "He'd better," he said and we all laughed.

Jon drove us to a local steak house where we had an excellent meal and thoroughly enjoyable conversation.  When Jon pulled into the parking lot of the apartment to drop us off, both Luiz and I thanked him for the dinner.  Jon then turned to Luiz, in the back seat, and said, "Luiz, it's been a genuine pleasure to meet you.  You are every bit as wonderful as Jake says you are.  The affection you have for each other is obvious and you make a perfect couple.  It's clear that you've made Jake very happy and that makes me happy, too.  I wish both of you the very best."

"What are your plans?" I asked Jon.  "You said you had a 30-day leave."

"I don't know.  I've scrapped my original plans after seeing you two. Maybe I'll drive to Las Vegas to have some fun.  I'll be in civvies.  Maybe I can meet somebody there."

"I have to work tomorrow, and Luiz has school" I said.  "But if you wanted to hang around for the weekend, we could take in some of the sights around here."

Jon took a minute to consider the offer but before he could reply, Luiz said, "Jake.  Remember Pepe?"  I detected just a hint of his wicked grin and immediately knew that he was thinking of our three-way in Tijuana.  I also suspected that he was suggesting the same with Jon.  That would require time for a serious discussion between Luiz and I.

"Who's Pepe?" Jon asked.

"A friend of mine," Luiz said, suddenly aware that he had created a second problem in one evening.  "Never mind.  Not important."

"Seriously, Jon," I said, trying to steer everyone back to what we were discussing.  "Consider spending a weekend in sunny southern California."

"That's very kind of you," Jon said.  "Can I think it over and call you tomorrow?"

"Sure," I said.  "You have my number.  I should be home by 6:00 but you can leave a message before then."

As Luiz and I walked from the car to the apartment, I knew that we would have to discuss Luiz's idea.

Chapter 27

When we entered our apartment, I said, "I know what you were suggesting and it's not a good idea."

I suppose the disapproval was too apparent in my tone because Luiz said, "I'm sorry.  I was just thinking of how you and I helped Pepe and that maybe you would like to help Jon."

"The situation is entirely different," I said.  "You and Pepe had only experimented when you were young.  Jon and I had a long, serious relationship.  The fact that he came here to see me tells me that he wanted to renew the relationship.  That won't happen.  Can't happen.  I'm in love with you now and I don't want anything -- or anybody -- to come between us. End of discussion!"

Luiz was quiet for a while before asking, "Do you regret what we did for Pepe?"

"No.  He was lonely, frustrated, and I think he had a good time.  We knew that it we were just engaging in sex but for him it probably meant a lot.  It was just a gift to your friend."

"Is Jon your friend?" Luiz asked.

"I know where you're going, Luiz.  And I'm not going there.  It's not going to happen.  Period."

Luiz was quiet while we showered and got ready for bed.  We had not argued about Luiz's idea but it was a disagreement, one of the very few we had had.  I didn't regret my rejecting his suggestion but I began to feel guilty about being so dogmatic about it.  I got into bed beside him, gave him a hug and a kiss, and said, "I think it was very considerate of you to suggest doing something with Jon.  I know you were thinking of him and wanted to do something nice for him.  But I hope you understand my feelings."

"I'm not sure I do," he said.  I knew what to expect.  I was about to hear Luiz's thoughtful analysis of the situation.  I also knew that it would be persuasive and I would have to be prepared to hold my own against his sharp mind.  He continued,  "I think it wouldn't be that much different than helping Pepe.  He was frustrated and horny.  I think Jon must be, too, after all that time in the military.  We knew that sex with Pepe was just sex and had nothing to do with love.  It would be the same with Jon if we made that clear to him.  We knew that we would be leaving Pepe behind in Tijuana.  Jon will be going back to Korea.  Our love for each other did not suffer because we had sex with Pepe.  I don't think it would if we had sex with Jon.  There's really only one difference.  You and Jon were in love and not like Pepe and me.  Since that's the only real difference, I have to ask you something."

"And what's that?"

"You were once in love.  You said that you hoped for a long time that you might get back together.  Are you afraid that your old feelings might come back?"

"Absolutely not!" I replied.  "When we were in college, I thought I loved him.  But I can tell you truthfully that what I felt for Jon then is nothing compared to how I feel about you.  No, Luiz.  I'm not afraid of digging up any old feelings for Jon when I have something far better right here beside me."

"Then do you think we can do it?  For Jon?"

Luiz was once again using the power of his intellect in a rational analysis of something that involved deep emotions.  But I had two arguments left in my arsenal.  "Let's consider Jon's point of view," I began.  "He probably has -- or had -- hopes of renewing a relationship that he found very satisfying.  Do you think it's wise to build up false hopes for him?"

"I've thought about that," Luiz said and it came as no surprise.  "I think he already knows that we love each other and he has no chance with you.  He said as much when I first met him -- something about not being able to compete.  He said he might meet somebody in Las Vegas.  He wished us happiness.  That sounds to me like he's given up on you."

"One last question before we decide," I said.  "Jon is a very handsome hunk.  Just how much do you want to have sex with him?"

"I knew you'd ask me that," Luiz chuckled.  "I'll be honest.  He's very attractive.  The thought of seeing him naked and doing stuff makes me horny.   I can't help it.  I would never do anything with anybody but he's your friend.  That's the real reason I suggested it.  I think he would appreciate it.  And I'm sure he won't tell anybody."

He looked at me, waiting for a decision that, in spite of his logic, I was not ready to give.  I could find no reason to reject his logic but strong reservations about his suggestion remained.  "You've convinced me to consider it.  I'm not agreeing but I'll consider it."  In my heart, I knew I would eventually concede and do it as much for Luiz as for Jon.  In my mind, however, I needed time to think through all the risks.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do it?" I asked although I knew what his answer would be.

"Yes," he replied.  "But there's something I want more."

"And that is?

"You.  I want to love you.  I want to have sex with you.  Not just sex but loving sex."

Luiz was particularly amorous that night.  Not, I hoped, merely showing his gratitude for my partial surrender to his idea but because he loved me at least as much as I loved him.

As I fell asleep, I reflected on the role reversal.  With Pepe, Luiz had been the resistant one and now it was my turn.  In both instances, however, Luiz's primary motivation was to give somebody what he thought they wanted.  His own needs played a minor part.

Jon called the next evening to say that he would like to accept my invitation to stay for the weekend.  I was pleased and Luiz seemed elated. "Are you going to invite him to spend a night with us?" Luiz asked.

"Yes," I replied.  Luiz lunged at me and hugged me.  "But," I added, "I'm going to make it very clear to him that it's for sex only and there's absolutely no chance that he and I will ever get together again.  Also, there's a chance that he will decline, you know."

"I hope he doesn't," Luiz said.  "I think we can show him a good time."

We picked up Jon at his hotel, took him to dinner, and then went bowling.  Jon made no passes at me and it appeared as though Jon had abandoned his hopes of getting in bed with me again.  We just talked, joked, and laughed as though we were merely old friends having a good time. The only sexual comment of the night was when Jon said, "This is great. I haven't bowled in years."  After a pause, he added, "I had a dream about it, though.  It was the tenth frame and I had to pick up a 7-10 split to win. I rolled the ball down the alley and it was going right where I wanted it to go."  He stopped as though he was visualizing the two pins falling.

Impatiently, Luiz asked, "What happened?"

Jon looked at Luiz seriously and said, "I don't know.  I woke up.  And when I woke up, I found one pin was standing upright."

I had heard the joke before but Luiz hadn't and it took him a while to make the connection and laugh.  "You must have been playing with the wrong ball," Luiz said through his laughter.  Even though Luiz had figuratively trumped Jon's ace, Jon joined in the laughter.

We dropped Jon off at his hotel and told him we would pick him up at 8:00 the next morning.  When Luiz and I got home, Luiz said, "You didn't invite Jon.  Have you changed your mind?"

"No," I replied and described the essentials of my plan, which won Luiz's approval.

The three of us spent Saturday in a whirlwind tour of several interesting locations in and around town.  We arrived back at the apartment around 4:30 where Luiz set about to prepare one of his better meals while Jon and I continued to brief each other on how we had spent our time since college.  The meal surpassed even Luiz's high standard; Jon was thoroughly impressed.  During the meal, Jon complimented Luiz on his efforts and Luiz said, "Thank you.  I'm glad you like it.  I was guessing,  I really didn't know what you liked but I knew that Jake liked it so I thought you might.  It's not Jake's favorite meal, though."

"And what's that," Jon asked.

"Luiz!" I exclaimed, suspecting what Luiz was leading up to and trying to stop him.

However, Luiz ignored me and said to Jon, "A big, fat, juicy sausage with white cream sauce on one end and two meatballs on the other."  Jon roared with laughter, I scowled at Luiz, and Luiz just gave me his wicked grin.

Jon was quick with a retort to Luiz.  "And I know what his favorite breakfast is -- a roll in bed with honey."

Luiz was not about to concede.  "Except on Sunday," he laughed back. "Sunday is the day we worship all morning at Saint Mattress."

We were all laughing but I managed to say, "Stop it, you two.  Cease fire."  It was not exactly the time or the way in which I wanted to propose our offer to Jon but it seemed to be as good as any.  When the laughter died down, I said, "Seriously now, Jon.  Luiz and I have discussed how best to be hospitable during your visit.  We've come up with an idea but want to know if you would be interested."

Chapter 28

"You've already been the perfect hosts.  I've enjoyed myself thoroughly and I thank you for it." Jon said.

"But Luiz had another idea," I said.  "We've discussed it and I think it's a good idea.  But neither of us has any clue about whether you would go along with it.  Let me explain.  Then tell us honestly whether you're interested."

"You're being a little mysterious, Jake," Jon said.  "I often know what you're thinking but I'm lost now.  So go ahead."

"Let me preface it by saying that I cherish the memories of our being together in college.  But that time is gone.  We've moved on.  There's no chance that you and I will ever be together again.  You have your life and I have mine..,with Luiz.  I hope you understand that."

"Perfectly," Jon replied.  "Seeing you together removes all doubt that we'll never be together like before but ... I hope we can remain friends."

"Of course.  I just wanted to be clear that our former relationship is over.  Now, having said that, I think Luiz ought to present his idea."

Luiz said, "I was thinking that straight guys in the military can go get a girl, even if they have to pay for it, and nobody says anything to them. Gay guys can't do that.  I tried to imagine being around men all the time but not having a partner.  It's got to be frustrating.  So here's the idea. Spend the night here ... in bed ... with us.  It would be just sex for the pleasure of sex."

Jon looked at Luiz for a long time with an expression of utter disbelief.  Then, he turned to me and said, "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?"

"You did," I replied.  "Although it was Luiz's idea, I agree with it.  I don't know how long you've gone without real sex but I suspect it's been too long.  I remember what it was like before Luiz came into my life. Masturbation is not like real sex.  We guessed that you might enjoy a night of real sex with us."

It took a while for Jon to absorb the invitation.  After thinking it over, he said, "That's extremely thoughtful of you.  I'm more than surprised at the offer and very grateful for it.  However, I know that you two have a loving relationship and the last thing I want is to jeopardize it.  As much as I appreciate the offer, I must decline."

"Let me tell you a story that may change your mind." I said and then gave Jon a synopsis of our experience with Pepe.  I concluded by saying, "Pepe was Luiz's good friend.  We wanted to do something nice for him and -- let's be honest -- Luiz and I enjoyed it, too.  It did not diminish or threaten the love that Luiz and I have for each other in any way. You're my friend and we would like to do something nice for you that all three of us would enjoy."

Jon, who was normally the confident, talkative, outgoing person, was quiet and seemed to be having trouble believing that Luiz and I had made such an offer or perhaps he was balancing the temptation with risks.  Finally, he said, "You're really serious, aren't you?  You are so confident in your commitment to each other that you would accept another man into your bed."

Luiz answered Jon.  "Not any man, Jon.  He has to be a good friend of either Jake or me.  Pepe was and you are.  He has to keep it a secret. I know Pepe will and I'm sure you will.  It must be somebody who needs sex.  Pepe did and I think you do.  And finally..."  Luiz paused while both Jon and I wondered what was coming.  "...he has to be very sexy.  You definitely are."

"It's tempting, Luiz," Jon said.  "I'm just not sure it's right."

I added my encouragement, "It's right, Jon.  It's just a night of sex. There's no connection to anything in the past and no connection to anything in the future.  Just one night of sexual pleasure."

"It has been a long dry spell for me," Jon confessed. "And..."

"Then you agree.  That's great." I interrupted before he could offer any more reasons for declining.  "Luiz, let's take our guest into the chamber of delight."

Luiz jumped up, took Jon's hand, and led him down the hall to our bedroom with me following behind.  After entering the bedroom, Luiz said, "I'll be right back," and hurried off to the bathroom.

Not wanting Jon to have any second thoughts, I began to undress.  Jon followed my lead and we soon stood before each other naked.  We had seen each other naked thousands of times but it was almost as if it were the first time as we admired each other's bodies and noticed that our cocks were beginning to inflate.  We laid down on the bed and I began to massage Jon's hairy chest and toy with his nipples, something that I recalled was one of his many turn-ons.

Just then, Luiz returned and said, "Hey!  No fair!  You started without me."

"Sorry," I said.  "But you're just in time to give us a performance." Luiz looked at me quizzically so I clarified.  "I danced for Pepe.  Now it's your turn."  Luiz made the connection with my amateurish strip tease with Pepe.  I could tell Luiz was embarrassed and reluctant but he knew the effect it might have on Jon so he slowly removed his shirt to reveal more of his smooth, bronze skin and mahogany nipples.  Jon's eyes were riveted to the beauty that I never tired of seeing.  Luiz rubbed his nipples and sighed before flipping off his shoes.  He started to very erotically unfasten the button of his pants and rotate his hips.  Jon watched in awe. Luiz continued, duplicating and embellishing what I had done including turning around to bend over and slip his boxers off his ankles.  That brought a slight gasp from Jon as he caught a quick glance at the tight pucker nestled between two perfectly shapped ass cheeks.  Turning around, Luiz held his boxers in front of his crotch and fondled himself with the other hand while moaning.

That was too much for Jon.  "Come here, Luiz." he said.  "Let me do that for you."

Luiz flashed his evil grin and said in a thick accent, "Si Senor.  You like have some fun with Luiz?"  With that, he hung his boxers on his erection like a coat hook and sauntered the few steps to the side of the bed.  Jon, still somewhat tentative in the unusual situation, gingerly removed Luiz's boxers to reveal a man-sized cock, dangling balls, and thick pubic hair.

"My God," Jon uttered unconsciously.  "You are beautiful."

Luiz grinned and laid down alongside Jon.  Luiz and I then began to give Jon the treatment.  Luiz worked on one side while I worked on the other massaging, licking, and kissing from the neck down to the navel and then from the toes up to the thighs.  Jon was delirious.  A string of precum hung from the head of his cock down onto a pool on his stomach. Catching Luiz's attention, I pointed to the precum and then to him.  He got my meaning and began licking the precum from Jon's stomach. Luiz's tongue touched the tip of the rigid cock and Jon gasped and jerked.  When my mouth encircled one of his balls, he jerked again. We teased him for a while to heighten his arousal but avoid bringing him to climax.

I took advantage of Jon's moans to whisper to Luiz, "69 him.  I'll take the back."

Luiz repositioned himself.  We rolled Jon onto his side to face Luiz where he saw Luiz's cock right there in front of his face.  He wasted no time in wrapping his lips around it as Luiz did the same to him.  At that moment, Jon's complete attention was focused on sucking Luiz and being sucked.  I took advantage of the distraction to retrieve my lube and a condom.  I recalled exactly what worked to relax Jon's hole and therefore had my cock buried into his ass with little time or effort.  Before I could begin fucking, however, Jon cried out, went tense, and emptied his balls. I felt his sphincter clamp down on my cock.  Moments later, Jon resumed his sucking on Luiz while I fucked him.  Luiz came and not much later, I filled my condom with cream.

It took almost 10 minutes for Jon to fully recover while Luiz and I snuggled on either side of him.  Eventually, Jon said, "I'd be happy to stay here, guys," Jon said, "but I have to take a leak."

As soon as he left the room, I made a suggestion to Luiz who giggled, slipped on his trousers, and ran from the room.  Moments later, I followed without putting on any clothes.  I joined Luiz in the living room where, after closing the drapes, he had stripped off his pants and sat in a chair. I sat next to him as we heard the toilet flush, the bathroom door open, and Jon's footsteps walking down the hall to the bedroom.  We chuckled at the thought of Jon returning to an empty bedroom.

As expected, Jon walked out into the living room to find us.  As expected, he had his pants on and his jaw dropped when he saw us sitting naked with legs slightly apart to give him a good view.  Recovering quickly, he said to me, "No offense, Jake, but Luiz is a lot better looking than you are."

"I know he is," I replied.  "Fortunately, he has some twisted notion that I look good.  Or at least that's what he tells me."

Luiz joined in the fun.  "You do, Jake.  But maybe not as good as Jon. Of course, it's hard to make a fair comparison when he's got his pants on."  Jon took the obvious hint and took off his pants.  "Hmm," Luiz mused after studying Jon's naked body,  "I guess it's a tie.  You're both good looking."  Turning to me, he said, "But I pick you, Jake.  Because I love you."

"Then if you love me," I said, "will you do me a favor?  Would you go get three beers?"

"Three?" he asked.

"I thought you might like one." I replied.

"Had some once.  Don't like it.  Pepsi is better."

As he went into the kitchen, I watched Jon follow him with his eyes.  As we sat sipping our drinks and chatting, it was obvious that Jon's eyes were frequently drawn to Luiz's firm, smooth, lithe body and, in particular, to his manly crotch.  After another hour or so of Jon and I doing most of the talking, Luiz said, "I'm getting horny again.  How about you guys?"  He looked straight at Jon when he said it.

"I thought you'd never ask," he joked.

We adjourned to the bedroom.  This time, we laid Jon on his back.  I sat on his hard cock and slipped it into my ass.  Luiz knelt on top of Jon so that Jon could suck his cock while he sucked mine.  It was an arrangement that we repeated the next morning.

Over breakfast, Jon said, "You two have been wonderful.  I can't thank you enough.  And I can't begin to tell you how much I admire and envy you both.  Luiz, you are remarkable.  You're intelligent, witty, and very sexy.  It's easy to see why Jake loves you.  Jake, you've found something very precious and I'm truly happy for you.  I'll carry the memory of last night with me and leave behind my sincere best wishes for you both.  Perhaps we can see each other again ... but as friends without any thought of sex."

Luiz looked at me and said, "I can't say it but you can't stop me from thinking, can you?"

I immediately recalled my warning to Luiz not to keep apologizing but didn't understand why he brought it up at that time.  "Thinking what?" I asked.

"You mean I can say it?" Luiz asked me.

"We don't know what you're thinking," I explained.

"I was thinking how sexy Jon is."

We all then laughed.

"I would never want to stop you from thinking," I said.  "Thinking is your second best ability."

"Oh," he pouted.  "My best ability is just cooking dinner for you?"

"As long as it's sausage and meatballs," I replied but couldn't help laughing, which triggered Luiz and Jon to laugh along with me.

Jon left after breakfast.  We exchanged emails for a while but they became less and less frequent and eventually stopped.  We never saw Jon again but never stopped hoping that he found someone to love.

Epilogue

As I sit in the stands of the football stadium scanning the sea of graduates below, I know that one of those graduates was once a scared little boy who needed help finding his beloved Papa.  Hidden by his then frail frame was a reservoir of courage, curiosity, character, and a capacity for unbounded love.  I glance at the program's listing of graduates once again to see, 'Luiz Loberto, BA, magna cum laude, Sociology.'  Luiz had chosen from among several scholarship offers in his typical way -- which school would best prepare him for a career in social services.  He chose from among several job offers with the same careful attention -- disregarding pay and benefits, which job promised the best opportunity to help the poor, the disadvantaged, and those who are victimized by discrimination.  There isn't a parent, relative, or friend in the entire audience, I think to myself, that is more proud of their graduate than I am.

Luiz, already beyond his years in maturity and wisdom when we met, continued to amaze me as he developed into an even more intelligent, caring, and strikingly handsome man.  Our love for each other did not merely endure, it continues to flourish.  Briefly, I compare my two previous relationships to that I have with Luiz but it only demeans the depth of love and devotion that I feel now.

Luiz credits me for saving him from an uncertain future.  However, he has done far more for me.  By example, he taught me courage, compassion, ambition, and how to appreciate the joys of living.  He saved me from a lonely, frustrated existence.

The supposedly inspirational speeches are over and they are reading the names of graduates to come forward to receive their degrees.  As the names drone on through the J's and the K's, I grow impatient to hear the name of my son ... my lover ... the center of my universe.  I see him at the edge of the platform, tall, handsome, confident, and proud.  I hear his name announced.  I cannot help it.  I cry.

After the graduation ceremony, Luiz and I will return to our new condo overlooking the beach.  He will drive us home in his new car, my graduation present that, at his insistence, is a hybrid.  When we arrive, there will be a surprise graduation party.  I've conspired with Robbie, Josh, and three more of Luiz's close friends to decorate the condo and prepare the food.  I've even managed to bring Pepe in for a visit.  Dozens of guests will cheer him as he walks in the door.  I can't predict how he will react but it's likely that at some point he will hug me and give me a passionate kiss because it's been almost two years that we have been open about our love.  If he does, a few of the guests may be uncomfortable but most, I predict, will cheer again.

I also predict that when the festivities are over, the last guests are gone, and we are alone, we will have another long, loving expression of our commitment to each other.

The End...

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Posted: 07/27/07