Caution and Courage
By: Morris Henderson
(© 2012 by the author)
 

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Chapter 16

 

The Brighton made two more trips to and from Vietnam with Will and Billy aboard.  Both young men were increasingly unhappy.  Tending to their duties in the engine room was far from the adventure they had sought when enlisting in the Navy.  Their days were filled with boredom and monotony.  They could have tolerated that but another dilemma was far more troubling: they were constantly on guard to say or do nothing that would arouse suspicion.  The slightest lapse of self-control, if noticed by any crew member, would result in rumors.  Rumors would inflate to taunts.  Taunts would become persecution.  The inevitable consequence would be an investigation by the ship’s command staff.  The specter of being ejected from the Navy with a damning blotch on their record would be, in their minds, tragic.  Billy worried most about the shame he would bring to his family.  Will’s primary concern (remembering Rod’s finding only a waiter’s job) centered on future employment opportunities.  But the dominant source of dissatisfaction was the continuing proximity to the man he loved, the man with whom he wanted to show that love in intimate and intensely satisfying ways.  So close.  And yet so far away.

 

Two days before arriving back in San Diego on the second trip, Billy finished his shift in the engine room at midnight and immediately went to Will’s bunk.  “We gotta talk, Will.  ‘Spose we can find a private spot?” 

 

The urgency in Billy’s tone and the look of desperation on his face was obvious so Will said, “Okay.  What’s wrong?”

 

“Ever’thin’!  I need to talk to ya ... just TALK  ... nothin’ else.”

 

They made their way to the stern of the ship, passing the night watch and casually saying, “Just getting some fresh air.  Okay?”

 

The night watch grunted his approval and walked toward the bow.

 

After assuring they were alone, Billy said, “I’m gettin’ to the point where I can’t take it anymore.  Bein’ in the Navy might be okay for some but bein’ stuck in the engine room ain’t what I hankered for.”

 

“It’s a dull job,” Will said.  “But it’s important to the ship and it’s got to be done.”

 

“I know that!” Billy huffed.  “What’s gnawin’ at me ... what’s eatin’ me alive ... is not bein’ with ya ... like I wanna be.  And ya know what I mean.  I see ya and I ache all over.  When yur not around, yur all I can think about.  ‘Specially at night when I’m in bed trying to go to sleep.  It’s tearin’ me apart, Will.  What’s just as bad is havin’ to be cautious all the time.  Bein’ on guard ‘less I say somethin’ or look at ya funny.  I can’t take any more o’ this caution stuff!”

 

“I know exactly how you feel,” Will said.  “I feel the same way about you.  I want to be your partner in every sense of the word.  But you know we can’t ... as long as we’re in the Navy.  We’ve just got to hang in there for the time being.”

 

“I wish it was that easy,” Billy objected.  “I’m tellin’ ya that I’m ‘bout t’ go looney!”

 

“I know how your feeling,” Will said.. “I feel the same way.  “Give me a couple of days.  We’ll be back in port.  Maybe by then I can figure something out to solve both our problems.”

 

<><><><><> 

 

Just prior to arriving in San Diego, the ship’s intercom broadcast the following.  “Attention all hands.  This is the Captain.  I’ve been notified that all subsequent supplies to our troops in Vietnam will be delivered by C5 Galaxy aircraft.  This will be the last voyage of the Brighton and she will remain in San Diego for the foreseeable future.  Each crew member will be assigned to other ships as needed or will be given temporary shore duties until assignment to another ship.  Each of you has my sincere appreciation for your service aboard the Brighton.  I’m proud of your contributions and I wish you success in your future assignments.  Upon disembarking in San Diego, you will report to Base HQ for further orders.  Again, you have my gratitude for loyal service.  That is all.”

 

Both Will and Billy knew the implications of getting new assignments: they would most likely be separated.  Both of them were devastated by the news.  Although they were not able to share a bed on board ship, at least they could see and talk to each other.  The mentally demanding task of constantly censoring their comments and actions might be less of a problem but the intolerable frustration of not being sexually intimate would continue.   Neither lover was worried about his finding a new lover on another ship.  Each was confident that he would be true to his partner.  But the possibility that his partner might find another lover  — however remote it seemed to be — crossed his mind.  Only one thing was clear: they would have to discuss their possible separation.  But they didn’t have a chance to talk privately before reporting to Base Headquarters.

 

They had feared the worst and it happened.  They would be separated.  Will was being sent to Signalman School at Great Lakes Naval Station in Illinois for a month’s training followed by assignment to a ship.  Unlike the nomination for OCS, this was an order that could not be refused.  (The job classification of Signalman would be phased out decades later, in 2004.)  Billy’s orders were to join the crew of the USS Altamont, a destroyer that would be departing San Diego in five days.  The only bright spot in their assignments was that Will had ten days leave before the next training class was scheduled to begin and Billy had five days leave before shipping out on the Altamont.  They would have a few days and nights together before parting ways for an indefinite but surely long time.

 

On their first day of leave it was just past noon when they returned to Balboa Park.  Finding a secluded spot, they hugged, kissed, and professed their love for each other.  Unsurprisingly, they both became aroused and pressed their hard  cocks together.  “It’s been so long,” Billy said.  “I swear I got a gallon o’ cum stored up to give ya.”

 

“I do, too, Billy.  But we can’t do it here.”

 

“DAMN!” Billy exclaimed.  “There ya go with that caution stuff again.”

 

“I’ve got a plan,” Will said.  “Remember that night on the bow of the ship when you said you couldn’t take it anymore?  I’ve thought about that a lot and realized that neither can I.  I was fooling myself to think we could make it through a couple of years without each other.  What I want more than anything is to be with you.  Remember  I asked for a little time to think of something?  I’ve got an idea and I want to know what you think of it.  Can we wait to make love long enough to hear my plan?”

 

“Sure ‘nuff.  If’n it’ll mean we can be together.”

 

“Here’s the deal.  The first part is taking care of our immediate needs.  We can ask Rod to let us stay with him for a few days.  I’m pretty sure he would say yes.  He was quite sincere when he said he’d be happy to put us up whenever we wanted.  But we’ll have to play it by ear if he asked for another threesome.  We can either tell him no — IF he asks — or agree to it.  But we should make it plain that we want to spend most of the time with each other.  Is that okay with you?  And do you want just you and me or would you be interested in having him join us a couple of times?”

 

Billy thought about that for several moments and then said, “What I want most is you!  Maybe after a couple o’ days we could ... ah ... pay our rent.”

 

“Just what I thought you’d say.  It’s what I want, too ... to be with you as much as possible but have a little recreational sex if he wants to.  Now here’s the second part of my plan.  I have no idea how you’ll react to it.  Somehow we let our secret out — let the Navy know we’re homosexual lovers.  I haven’t figured out the details of how to do that but it’s a certainty that they’ll kick us out.  We’d then be civilians and together permanently.”

 

“Sounds okay so far,” Billy said thoughtfully.  “But how we gonna do that?”

 

“I said I didn’t know but we can figure that out later.  Before you agree, I want to make sure you understand the consequences.  You know that I don’t give a shit about what my family thinks.  But I know that you have a very close and loving relationship with your family.  What will they think if you’re kicked out of the Navy?  How would you explain it to them?  Would it jeopardize your relationships with parents and siblings that you love?”

 

“That’s a hard one,” Billy said with a frown.  “But it’s somethin’ I’ve thought about a lot.  Not bein’ kicked out o’ the Navy but tellin’ ‘em I’m queer.  I gotta tell ‘em sometime.  Can’t hardly live with ya and not ‘rouse their suspicions, can I?  They’ll be disappointed.  It’ll hurt ‘em somethin’ terrible.  But I’m hopin’ they’ll get over it.  Sooner than later, too, ‘cause they met ya and like ya.  I haven’t told ya this but they got me aside and said how pleased they was that I found a friend like y’all.  So what I figure is this.  I can tell ‘em about me bein’ queer and gettin’ kicked out o’ the Navy at the same time.  The two things go hand in hand.  Wait!  No!  That won’t work.  I gotta tell ‘em in person, not in a letter or on the phone.  I wanna be there to tell ‘em I love ‘em and explain it ain’t a sickness or a sin; it’s what I am.”

 

“That’s a major problem with my plan, isn’t it?  I agree it’s better to tell them in person but there’s no chance for that if we’re in California and they’re in Michigan.  We’ll have to think about that some more.  In the meantime, there’s another risk.  Remember what Rod said about his discharge?  He denied being gay and he got an ‘Undesirable Discharge Under Other Than Honorable Conditions.’  But he thinks that another sailor was truthful and cooperative.  His discharge was ‘Under Honorable Conditions.’  The fact is, we can’t be sure of how they’ll kick us out.  We can be truthful and hope they don’t give us an Undesirable Discharge.  But it isn’t guaranteed.”

 

“True,” Billy said.  “But ya know what?  I’m willin’ to take the risk.  I got no hope o’ ever getting’ a fancy job but you do.  Ya got a lotta potential, Will.  That bit about ‘Other Than Honorable’ could really bite ya in the ass if’n ya try to get a decent job.”

 

“I’ve thought about that,” Will said.  “I need to get more information.  Maybe Rod can give us some advice.  But let me say one more thing.  Even if it’s an Undesirable Discharge, it’ll be worth it because you and I can be together.  What do you say we go talk to Rod ... about staying with him a few days.  Maybe he’ll have some ideas about how to get out of the Navy with the least amount of damage?”

 

“Let’s do it,” Billy grinned.  “’Cause I need some lovin’.”

 

<><><><><> 

 

“Hey guys!” Rod exclaimed as Will and Billy walked into the café that was empty since it was mid-afternoon.  “Glad to see you.  How’s things going for you in the Navy?”

 

“So-so,” Will replied enigmatically.  “We’ve got a few days shore leave and were wondering if you were serious about visiting you again.”

 

“Damn right!” Rod said.  “You’re welcome to stay in my guest room until you have to go back on board ... ah ... what’s the name of your ship?”

 

“The Brighton,” Will said.  “Or at least it WAS.  She’s being mothballed and we’re going to be assigned to different ships.”

 

“Ships?  Does that mean different ships?”

 

“’Fraid so,” Billy moaned.  “I’ll be on the Altamont in five days.  Will’s goin’ to Signal School for a month and then who knows where.”

 

“Bummer, for sure,” Rod said with a frown.  “That means you’ll be separated until your hitch is up.  Rotten luck!”

 

“It is,” Will agreed.  “But maybe we can talk about that tonight.  Right now, I’d like to ask a huge favor.  Can Billy and I go to your house right away?  We’ve been at sea for a long time and need some private time bad.”

 

Rod’s laugh was almost boisterous. “I get the meaning.  I’ll give you a key to the house but I have to warn you about something.  I have a ... ah ... boyfriend.  He’s been staying with me for almost two weeks.  He’ll be there about six this evening ... and spend the night if you know what I mean.”

 

“Does that mean you’ve found Mr. Right?” Will asked expectantly.

 

“Can’t say for sure.  Not yet, anyway.  But it’s definitely a possibility.  Right now, I’m cautiously optimistic.  And taking things slowly.  Which reminds me.  I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention what we did together.  I’m not sure how he feels about threesomes.  At least not yet.”

 

“Don’t worry, Rod.  He won’t hear it from us,” Will said.  “We both hope it’ll work out for you,”.

 

 

Rod’s house was empty when Will and Billy arrived.  They were hot and sweaty from carrying their duffle bags but couldn’t delay reaching their goal by any trivialities like freshening up.  They lost no time going straight to the guest room or frantically shedding their clothes.  Their love making was almost ferocious, driven by weeks of frustrating celibacy at sea.  Billy had exaggerated when he said he had a gallon of cum saved up for his lover but the intensity of their orgasms could not be overstated.  Afterwards, they clung tightly to each other for a long time, melding their naked bodies into a single entity.  Both were blissfully contented ... until they heard Rod come home and they hastily dressed.

 

To be continued...

 

 

Iatia’s inspiration and editing cannot be ignored.  Thanks, my friend.

Posted:03/02/12