Stunned but feeling lucky to have survived the explosion, Billy immediately looked for his comrades.  The blood in the seawater around Will showed he was wounded.  But he couldn’t see Sean who had been in the wheel house when the explosion tore the boat apart.  “Y’all okay, Will?” Billy shouted with concern bordering on panic clearly evident in his voice.

“I don’t know yet,” Will replied.  “Got a pain in my leg but I think I can make it to shore.  Where’s Sean?”

“Dunno,” Billy replied but moments later saw Sean come sputtering up out of the water, “There he be.  Y’all okay, Sean?  Will’s hurt.

“I’m fine.  Let’s head for the shore,” Sean shouted.  “We’ll swim alongside you, Will, in case you need help.  Okay?”

It was a fifty-yard swim but all three made it safely.  Once ashore, Sean asked, “What the hell happened?”

“We hit a mine,” Will replied.  “I don’t know how it got there, though.”

After a few moments thinking, Billy said, “D’ya s’pose it was from the big World War?  Maybe a ship sank — our’n or one o’ theirs — carryin’ a bunch o’ mines.  Sat there right on the bottom ‘til it floated up.  Somethin’ rattled it loose maybe.  Big storm?  Earthquake?  An’ after all these years, t’boot.”

Will and Sean had to agree with the logic but had no time to speculate further.  “Lemme see yur leg,” Billy said to Will.

Will pulled up the right leg of his pants to reveal an ugly gash on the back of his calf muscle just above the ankle and said, “Looks pretty bad, doesn’t it.”  The wound was a small laceration but still bleeding.

“Let’s get ya outta the sun, Will.  Can ya walk?”

Will said he could but he was wrong.  His two companions had to help him ten yards to the shade of a large tree.

Billy took off his shirt and wrapped it around the injured leg.  “It ain’t stair-ile but it’ll help.  Wish we had some anty-septic.”   He then scanned the small hill that sloped up and away from the water’s edge.  “I’ll go see if’n I can fetch somethin’ better than a wet shirt.”

Will said to Sean, “If you swim back out to the launch, maybe you can find a first aid kit.”

Sean frowned and said, “What the fuck’s the use?  The launch is sinking fast.  By the time I got there it’ll be gone.  Besides, even if I find it, it would be soaking wet and what good would that do?  We’re stuck here.  We’re sure to die before anybody finds us.”

Astonished by Sean’s fatalism, Will said, “Don’t be so damn quick to give up.”

Twenty minutes later, Billy returned at a trot, carrying a handful of fat, green, spikey leaves.  “Don’t know what this is,” he said.  “Looks, tastes, ‘n’ smells just the same as what my mama used when I got all scraped up back in Miss’ippi.  She called it ‘low veerah’.” [i.e., aloe vera, widely found in the tropics and used in pharmaceutical preparations for its soothing and healing properties] — “But ya gotta be careful-like ‘cause some plants look almost the same and can hurt ya.  Didn’t know they grows outside o’ Miss’ippi, though.”  He proceeded immediately to loosen the makeshift dressing.

“Are you sure they won’t make it worse? Will asked.

“Can’t never be sure,” Billy replied.  “But it’s the best chance we got for fixin’ you up.”

“Wait,” Will said.  “I remember something from my NROTC classes.  I’m going to ask you to do something weird.  We had a lecture on survival and rescue.  I wish I could remember all of it but one thing stuck with me because it sounded so ridiculous.  If you’re wounded and don’t have any sterile water, alcohol, or antiseptic, then you can flush out the wound with fresh urine.  Piss on it Billy!”

“WHAT!” Billy exclaimed.  “I ain’t gonna do that!”

“Trust me,” Will said.  “The instructor emphasized that fresh urine is safe to use to rinse away any toxic bacteria and it may even have healing properties.  It isn’t any more unusual than putting leaves on an open sore.”

Billy continued to resist, supported by Sean who claimed it would only make matters worse.  But Billy eventually yielded to his best friend’s pleading and flooded the wound with his urine.  He then crushed the leaves until a gel-like juice oozed out which he carefully smeared on and around the laceration and rewrapped the leg with the bloody shirt.

“I guess it’s up to you guys to look for the downed pilot and complete the mission.”

“Fuck the mission!” Sean screamed.  “We’re stuck in the middle of no-god-damn-where!  Even if we find the pilot alive, what fucking good would that do?  We’re all goners unless you think we could swim forty fucking miles back to the ship!”

The contrast of Sean’s arrogant attitude and behavior on the ship with his surrender to dire circumstances they now faced surprised and irritated both Will and Billy.  “Settle down,” Will replied with as much authority as he could.  “It’s no good to concede defeat.  At least not yet.  We’ll have to come up with a Plan B.”

“If you say so,” Sean said sarcastically.

Will, ignoring for the moment Sean’s lack of conviction, said, “The most critical need we have is fresh water.  One of the things survivors did was — hear me out, now, and think about it — they drank their own urine.  With no fresh water, it saved their lives.”

“You gotta be shittin’ me!” Sean reacted with disgust.

“It’s true,” Will replied.  When the choice is between death from dehydration or something you might think is distasteful or even disgusting, I think the choice is obvious.”

“He’s right, Sean,” Billy said.  “One o’ my kinfolk tol’ me how he done it when his truck died on him in New Mexico.  He was walkin’ back to the last town when he ‘membered what he learnt in the Army: if’ ya get stuck, yur hot and thirsty, drink yur piss.  Else, ya just might die.  He done it and lived to be eighty four.”

“I’m be damned if I do that!” Sean said defiantly.

Billy said.  “First off, I think we oughta look ‘round a bit.  We need food and fresh water if we’s stuck here for a spell.  Water’s most important.  A fella can go a long time without food but only a few days without water.  Sean and me can look around a bit.  Whilst we’s doin’ that, we can see if’n there’s any sign o’ the pilot.”

The pair returned an hour later to find Will asleep.  Afraid his boyfriend was unconscious from loss of blood, Billy rushed to his side, shook his shoulder, and said, “Will, Will, y’all okay, buddy?”

“I’m okay,” Will mumbled groggily.  “What did you find?”

“No water, no sign o’ the pilot,” Billy replied.  “And no food less’n we eat leaves ‘n’ berries.  And somehow shoot a bird ... oodles of ‘em flying ‘round.”

Sean and Billy left again to gather edibles and managed to collect some nuts and berries.  They also found some coconuts, bananas, mangoes, and papayas — not the same as the cultivated varieties found in supermarkets but quite suitable for eating.  Billy had also gathered some leaves.  Sean questioned why his companion collected leaves but Billy reminded him, “Ya eat lettuce and cabbage, don’tcha?  In Miss’ippi, we eat all kind o’ greens.  They’s good for ya.”  Sean was mystified by the process Billy used to test different leaves.  He would crush a leaf and put the juice on his lip.  If there was no unpleasant reaction five minutes later, he would put some on his tongue.  Five minutes after that he would swallow a tiny bit.  Fifteen minutes later, if he had no adverse reaction, he would pronounce the leaves edible.  “Poor folks sometimes ain’t got no money,” he explained, “We know the rules for pickin’ veg’tation that’s safe to eat.” 

When they returned, Will asked, “Still no sign of fresh water, guys?”

“NO!” Sean said with a tone that mixed disappointment, fear, and anger.  We’ll be dead in a few days without water if nobody finds us.”

“Not necessarily,” Will said.  “The lack of fresh water is not as big a problem as we thought.  The moisture in the fruit you found could prevent or delay dehydration.”

“So I don’t have to drink my piss?” Sean asked.

“Not for a while, anyway,” Will replied.  “But you may have to if you show any signs of dehydration.  Right now, there’s a more immediate worry.  I’ve been thinking about survival in the wilderness.  Sure, it’s stressful.  We’re worried.  But we can’t give up.  You’re sounding like you’ve made up your mind to die here.  If you believe that, it’s more likely to happen.  There are several instances in history of people stranded but stayed alive until they were rescued.  A plane crash on a mountain summit.  A soldier behind enemy lines.  Injured hikers who couldn’t make it back down the mountain.  The most important thing to survival is not to give up.  There are three of us.  That’s an advantage we can use.  We’ve got to use our wits and the resources we have.  We can’t let frustration and fear doom us.  You played football in high school, Sean.  If you were down by 21 points at halftime would you give up? NO!  You’d keep playing your best.  Don’t let frustration and anger turn into a depression that damages your chance of winning.”

<><><><><> 

Will spent a fitful night.  Billy spent a frightful night.  Will had developed a fever.  Billy worried that his friend, the man he loved, the man he wanted more than anything as a partner, as a lover, would succumb to some unknown infection.  He punished himself by thinking the leaves he used to dress the wound might be the cause of his best friend’s suffering. 

Well before dawn Billy returned from the water’s edge with his wet tee shirt to wipe for the umpteenth time his buddy’s forehead, hoping it would cool him down.  He found Will in one of his periodic intervals of sleep.  Billy started, gently and lovingly, to wipe his boyfriend’s brow.  Will began to mumble incoherently.  The few words that were distinct indicated a resentment of his family and something about his fraternity brothers in college.  But the jumbled words became slightly clearer and Billy strained to hear.  The words were as surprising as they were welcomed by the worried, guilt-ridden, and frustrated former farm boy.

“Billy ... [mumble] ... love you ... [mumble] ... Billy ... [mumble] ... want ... [mumble] ... make love to you ... [mumble] ... passionate love ... [mumble] ... can’t ... [mumble] ... damn Navy ... [mumble] ... hate gays ... [mumble] ... throw me out ... [mumble] ...  throw YOU out ... [mumble] ...would hurt ... [mumble] ... can’t do that ... [mumble] ... love you too much.”  Will twitched and seemed to fall back into a deep sleep.

Billy cried for the first time since he was a little boy.  Tears of happiness because there was no longer any doubt about what he had only suspected.  There had been signs but they were never as clear as what he just heard.  He finally knew for sure that the man he loved also loved him.  There were also tears of deep sadness because the man he loved was suffering and may not survive.

Just after dawn, Will awoke, feeling somewhat better.  Billy, after a torturous night of worrying about his friend capped by the exhilaration of confirming that they loved each other, was asleep.

Will asked, “What time is it, Sean?”

“It’s 0900 hours ... for all the fucking good that’ll tell you.  The Brighton is on its way to Nam.  And we’re stuck here.  AWOL too.  We’re goners!”

“No we’re not!  Don’t give up, Sean.  We still have a chance.”

“Sure,” Sean snarled.  “As soon as pigs fly!”

<><><><><> 

As night fell on their second day on the island, Sean and Billy returned from a search of another section of the dense forest.  Billy had made a knapsack out of his tee shirt and it was filled with berries, nuts, and leaves.  Will was feeling much better although hungry.  He was able to sit up and even walk short distances. 

Sean fell into a deep sleep soon after dark but Will and Billy talked quietly.  Billy, having given it a lot of thought, said, “I’m glad to have ya as a buddy, Will.  Yur friendship means more than ya know.”

“Same here,” Will replied without anticipating the direction the conversation would take.

“We come from different backgrounds,” Billy continued.  “But we have lots in common.  We both wanted to join the Navy.  We both respect honesty ‘n’ character in folks no nevermind what their background is.  We never had no girlfriend.”  Billy paused to assess his buddy’s reaction.  It showed, as he expected, a bit of discomfort over having no experience with girls.  Proceeding with his planned script, he said, “I ‘spect there’s one more thing we got in common that neither of us had the balls to admit.  Am I right?”

“What do you mean, Billy?”

“I’m sure ya done noticed the way I looked ya over in the shower back in basic trainin’.  And ya prob’ly guessed the meanin’ in some o’ the stuff I said.  ‘Member when I took ya to the airport and we hugged?  Remember ya pushed yur crotch against mine?”

“Yeah,” Will said tentatively, now suspecting the direction of the conversation.

“I didn’t complain none, did I?  That means that ya prob’ly know my interest in ya is ... well ... gobs more than bein’ friends.”

“Are you talking about sex?”  Will asked, hoping for the answer he wanted.

“Kinda.  I’m gay but sex is just a part of what I’m talkin’ about.  I’m really talkin’ ‘bout love.  I love ya, Will.  You’re exactly the kind of guy I’d like to spend my life with.  Okay, I said it!  Told ya my secret!  I was scared shitless to tell ya before.  But last night changed ever’thin’.”

Will was now confused.  What happened that would change things?

“Ya was mumblin’ in yur sleep.  I know ya was all hot with fever and couldn’t help it but what you said ... or the little parts I could understand ... let me know we is alike.”

An odd mixture of dread and curiosity invaded Will’s mind.  What had he said?

Billy continued talking softly. “I love ya like a man loves a woman.  I know I can trust ya to keep my secret ‘cause yur that kinda guy.  What I want to know is: do y’all really feel the like ya said ya did when ya was zapped out sick?  Before ya answer, let me say one more thing.  If ya DON’T feel that way, if ya AIN’T gay, or if ya think I’m not what ya want in a partner, I want ya to be honest.  I really do.”

“You want honesty?  I’ll let you have it.  Yeah, I’m gay.  I fought with myself since I was a teen.  I thought I was sick or something.  Let me tell you something else.  The sight of you in the shower gave me the quivers.  After I got to know you, I respected you.  You don’t know how much.  I had to keep pinching myself to be sure I wasn’t dreaming because we were so different growing up.  Would I like to be your partner?  Without a shadow of a doubt!”  

The smile on both young men sparkled in the dim moonlight.  What had been taboo for so long — the impossible hopes and dreams that had haunted them, the frustration of wanting and not having — were consigned to the past.  Their love for each other was clear and except for being stranded on a deserted island their future happiness was assured.

Billy was lying on his side next to Will.  He propped himself up on his elbow and starred lovingly into the face of his best friend who would become his loving partner.  “Sean’s asleep,” he cooed.

“I know what you’re thinking, Billy.  Don’t go there.  Not now.  If Sean wakes up and sees us, it would be ugly.  You already know he’s the biggest bigot imaginable and hates gays with a passion.  When we have the chance to show our love I want it to be beautiful.  With no worry about being caught.”

“Aw shucks, Will.  I know yur right but I also know I want ya so bad.”

“And I want you,” Will whispered.  “But we’ll have to be careful and wait.”

Billy lay back down.  Moments later he said, “One thing gnaws at me, Will.  I don’t deserve ya.  Ya don’t need no farm boy hangin’ ‘round and stoppin’ ya from makin’ somethin’ special outta yur life.”

“From now on, Billy, YOU are my life.  If I have your love, that’s all that matters.”

“Not all,” Billy said.  “Seems like gettin’ off this island is what matters right now.” 

To be continued...